NationStates Jolt Archive


Steelternia raises tarriffs to produce car flamethrowers

Steelternia
05-10-2008, 07:22
OOC: This is meant more or less to be an entertaining goodie. See this (http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9812/11/flame.thrower.car/) link for details on the real thing. Have fun with your responses!

IC
Steelternia, 3:00 PM

The Parliament of Cities makes a complete turn-around in the policy of tariffs today. After being instructed by the Chancellor to ban the use of tariffs, the Chancellor swiftly changed his mind after realizing that they could protect the automobile production industry, one of Steelternia's weakest areas of industry. The Chancellor, who normally does not make whimsical decisions, changed his mind after finding out about a security system that has been described by Steelternia's best economists and engineers as, “Totally freaking sweet.”

The Chancellor happened upon an article about a South African-designed automobile protection system that deploys flamethrowers to deter criminals, and is not only legal, but effective, as well, for obvious reasons. When realizing the civilian, law enforcement, and military applications of this, the Chancellor decided to seize this opportunity, and has changed his opinion on tariffs. By producing automobiles with this technology, paranoid car owners can feel assured that their property and investments are safe. With fire.

Steelternia hopes to begin selling these cars throughout the region once the tariffs are put into place, and that the industry will begin to grow appropriately. The Utopian Playland has a low tolerance for criminals, and its neighbors will be more than happy to utilize this technology, which will protect property and provides fun for the whole community as they watch would-be car thieves panic and run around on fire. Some call it demented. Others might describe it as unusual standards for fun.

The Chancellor is also looking into possible military applications of this technology. Small personnel flamethrowers would be excellent in vehicular defense, and would be a boon to armored vehicles having to deal with infantry resistance, particularly in tight and urban environments. The fires produced by this technology are meant more as deterrent to disable. The light is bright enough to temporarily blind the person, not to mention the fire. 'Cause fire burns. Obviously.

The systems will be available for commercial purchase soon, and are ready for pre-ordering. They cost 600 USD per civilian unit. The military equivalent will be estimated at double that price due to the more sophisticated systems and chemicals expected to be used.
Oslea
05-10-2008, 08:09
National News Network
Your source for reliable news

Competitor to car flamethrower revealed

Rockefeller Motors HQ, Jacinto Plateau

In the wake of higher carjacking rates in and around the seperatist Djupesland region of Oslea by seperatists, car buyers have been clamoring for better security measures against these thieves.

For years, the only option for the public were the steering wheel lock and GPS trackers. Now - the public may turn to a Steelternian invention: The car flamethrower.

"This is a huge threat to our car industry," Rockefeller Motors CEO David Rockefeller told the media today. "Many people will choose Steelternian cars over Oslean-manufactured ones due to this new security measure. Which is why, Rockefeller Motors is introducing the mini-MLRS!"

"This system will use millmeter-wavelength doppler radar - yes, the very same used to protect tanks from missiles - to detect any incoming carjackers. Once the system has detected a threat a rocket pod holding 8 rockets will emerge from the hood of the car and fire a small 40mm missile at the carjacker. This missile is filled with many tiny submunitions designed to inflict serious pain to your attacker, and have about as much power as a large firecracker each."

"It's a reliable security system, which will only set you back $900 NSD. Not to mention, it gives the James Bond feel to your car too!"

Rockefeller Motors will release its mini-MLRS tomorrow, and is thinking of developing other security measures such as a door mounted fletchette gun (gives new meaning to the phrase 'I'm riding shotgun!") and spring-loaded exploding hubcaps.