Rufus Firefly
24-09-2008, 04:10
September 19, 2008
2:27 PM NPT
New Island Nation Makes Waves
SANTA MORONICA – On a hot desert afternoon in the North Pacific, eccentric Hollywood mogul J. Howard Flyvemaskine announced the completion of his 3000/sq mi man-made island situated several hundred miles off the coast of California. With a proclaimed initial founding of 5 million “settler entrepreneurs” Mr. Flyvemaskine introduced the world to his new nation, “The United States of Rufus Firefly” (USRF).
“It is the goal of this great new nation, to embrace and remind the people of the world, that compassionate insanity can be a lifeline and beacon of light in a universe increasingly incapable of laughing at its own lunacy. No longer will tradition and decorum, the historical causes of countless wars, hold humanity in their dusty, lifeless, grip! Intelligence without out a sense of humor is dumb, and dum spelled backwards is mud. My fellow Rufusians, let us pull ourselves out of this mud of humdrum, and the world along with us!”
Mr. Flyvemaskine held the “First Presidential” press conference in front of The Off-White House (really more of a beige) in the newly dubbed capital city of Santa Moronica, to a capacity crowd of three reporters and one Labrador retriever. The self styled “President of The United States of Rufus Firefly” was joined on stage by the first nominated member of his political regime, The Secretary of the Posterior, Mr. Shlomo Horatio Fink, a veteran member of the Hollywood comedy scene and avid water fowl conservationist. Secretary Fink’s main duties will be “to ensure the integrity of all compassionately insane media… and to protect the good people of The USRF from any and all stuffiness and/or tasteless humor.” As President Firefly noted with a strange tongue-in-cheek eloquence, “essentially Secretary Fink is here to monitor the quality of Rufusian cheese.”
In a press-packet written on the back of a cocktail napkin, President Flyvemaskine distributed a map and fact list of the newly dubbed USRF to the reporters in attendance. It was intriguing, it was daring, it was slightly stained with ketchup. When asked about the prospects of universal healthcare and human rights, President Flyvemaskine shrugged and casually replied “Sure, why not.” On that note, the fledgling nation began its first official day on Earth, defiantly shrugging its shoulders to the stuffy old-world powers.
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Unassociated Press Writer Paws McHound contributed to this report.
http://i317.photobucket.com/albums/mm367/Marqsaynt/RufusFirefly.jpg
2:27 PM NPT
New Island Nation Makes Waves
SANTA MORONICA – On a hot desert afternoon in the North Pacific, eccentric Hollywood mogul J. Howard Flyvemaskine announced the completion of his 3000/sq mi man-made island situated several hundred miles off the coast of California. With a proclaimed initial founding of 5 million “settler entrepreneurs” Mr. Flyvemaskine introduced the world to his new nation, “The United States of Rufus Firefly” (USRF).
“It is the goal of this great new nation, to embrace and remind the people of the world, that compassionate insanity can be a lifeline and beacon of light in a universe increasingly incapable of laughing at its own lunacy. No longer will tradition and decorum, the historical causes of countless wars, hold humanity in their dusty, lifeless, grip! Intelligence without out a sense of humor is dumb, and dum spelled backwards is mud. My fellow Rufusians, let us pull ourselves out of this mud of humdrum, and the world along with us!”
Mr. Flyvemaskine held the “First Presidential” press conference in front of The Off-White House (really more of a beige) in the newly dubbed capital city of Santa Moronica, to a capacity crowd of three reporters and one Labrador retriever. The self styled “President of The United States of Rufus Firefly” was joined on stage by the first nominated member of his political regime, The Secretary of the Posterior, Mr. Shlomo Horatio Fink, a veteran member of the Hollywood comedy scene and avid water fowl conservationist. Secretary Fink’s main duties will be “to ensure the integrity of all compassionately insane media… and to protect the good people of The USRF from any and all stuffiness and/or tasteless humor.” As President Firefly noted with a strange tongue-in-cheek eloquence, “essentially Secretary Fink is here to monitor the quality of Rufusian cheese.”
In a press-packet written on the back of a cocktail napkin, President Flyvemaskine distributed a map and fact list of the newly dubbed USRF to the reporters in attendance. It was intriguing, it was daring, it was slightly stained with ketchup. When asked about the prospects of universal healthcare and human rights, President Flyvemaskine shrugged and casually replied “Sure, why not.” On that note, the fledgling nation began its first official day on Earth, defiantly shrugging its shoulders to the stuffy old-world powers.
--
Unassociated Press Writer Paws McHound contributed to this report.
http://i317.photobucket.com/albums/mm367/Marqsaynt/RufusFirefly.jpg