NationStates Jolt Archive

Greetings and Salutations from the Ordo Argan Argari! Our Order is dedicated to the ideals of community and Brotherhood, and we have labored long and hard to bring our exclusive services to You, the Galactic Community.
As you are doubtless aware, the First Mother has decreed a period of inward thinking and advancement, but She has agreed to allow our Order the leeway to offer our unique services to the Brotherhood Galactic.
Firstly, our mercenaries:
We have four Orders Militant, three of which are willing to offer their services through the Ordo Argan Argari:the Ordos Zorak Zorani, Vaneekara, and the respected Order of Karrg's Sons.
Karrg's Sons
Humble policemen on their beats, Karrg's Sons will patrol your streets for the discounted price of $1000 per officer per week, taming your mean streets within a matter of weeks. What a bargain! An officer with the physical prowess of a rhino, the echolocation that puts a bat to shame, and a complete forensics lab in his skull! Once on a case, the boys of Karrg's Sons will track down any miscreant, take him peacably down, and deliver him to the courts with all evidence.
Karrg's Sons are used to delivering evidence to the telepathic Sacred Mothers, and have an admirable 85% conviction rate. Sadly, they are only available for police work. Detectives of the Order are available for $5000 a day, but this fee is reduced to the standard if the accused is not convicted.
Zorak Zorani
Our top-of-the-line mercenaries, the Ordo Zorak Zorani will safely see your military excursions successful for a mere $500 per day per soldier, plus looting priviledges! The ultimate fighting machines, the Zorak Zorani will decimate your enemy as a sacrifice to their god, and rehabilitate the enemy at no charge!
Their battlecrabs are available for 5 million per day of service, and will destroy all ships not of your navy entering the region designated in the contract as part of their hiring.
(Disclaimer: On occasion, the Zorak Zorani will claim territory for religious reasons. In this event, the Argan Argari claim no liability, nor will refunds be given. The Order ARE the best of the best, reflecting millenia of warcraft, and their reasons are their own.)
Vaneekara
The Rightful Daughters have opened themselves up for business, and business is good! For a mere $1000 per day per Daughter and looting privileges, the Ordo Vaneekara will reduce your enemies to ash, no questions asked! This Order takes pride in destroying those foolish enough to oppose it, and the absolute destruction of your enemy is assured.
(Disclaimer: Looting is part and parcel of an Ordo Vaneekara's pay, and the Order may assume control at it's option-individual members able to exercise this option at will. The Order reserves the right to end hostilities at it's discretion. The Ordo Vaneekara will announce attacks ahead of time as a matter of honor.)
The Tarnaxa
Such a find! Such a deal! The Tarnaxa are not trolls, but a silicon-based life form who made an amazing discovery in their Atomic Age. Tarnaxa do not develop cancer from exposure to radiation, but their silicon forms rise up on the Radiation Scale, from silicon to phosphorus! Tarnaxa require regular infusions of radiation to sustain themselves, and are slow compared to carbon-based life, but have proven time and again to be adept at bathing in water supplies, introducing the fumes from their bodies into air-conditioning systems, and to generally behave as agents of terror, disabling a city within 24 hours, other than a handful of alcoholics. Price is an astoundingly low $5000 per day per operative.
(Disclaimer:the Tarnaxa do not like night maneuvers, as they glow in the dark. Their radiation requirements must be supplied by the buyer for the duration of the operation.)

As an additional enticement, we are offreing the renowned Repair Kit of the Ordo Gadbladdi:
"Himile Ring," emits waves of cold which can be used to stun an opponent. The ring usually causes the air in the path of its blast to turn to ice, and can lower an object's temperature to nearly absolute zero. With it one can encase foes in bands of ice or create walls of ice to block pursuers. Particularily nasty individuals are not above freezing an opponent and shattering them.

"Annila Ring," which amplifies the wearer's own mental energies and allows them to control the minds of others with a limit of one person at a time at a distance of ten feet. Can also be used to create illusions. If the wearer of the ring is a natural telepath, the ring will enhance their abilities far beyond a wearer without telepathy. This ring is used to adjust the delicate psionic matrix of muri advanced technology, though the Blue Moon has developed it's own uses...

"Orlanth Ring," emits electricity in amounts and intensities mentally determined by the wearer. The maximum voltage attainable is not known, as it is dependant upon the wearer's strength of will and relationship to the muri Air rune. It also insulates the wearer, safely absorbing up to 250 megawatts without discharging. Once it attains a critical mass, however, it must discharge or explode. Some Gadbladdi use it to "jump-start" other systems, or on occasion for arc-welding.

"Amalastan's Blessing," emits infrared radiation, or heat, at intensities mentally determined by the wearer. Usually the heat produces flame through incandescing the molecules in the air in the path of the blast. The heat beam can be used to trigger chemical explosions. The maximum amount of heat it can generate is not known, but is useful for welding and soldering.

"Pamalt's Servant," can emit various forms of energy along the electromagnetic spectrum, often a laser-like beam. Can also create suficient gravity to make an individual completely bury himself simply by trying to walk forward. It can manipulate gravity to a certain extent, allowing the wearer to bind to the hull of a ship in space, or to telekinetically manipulate objects, the ability dependant upon the wearer.

"Pocharngo's Ring," which can rearrange the atoms and molecules of a substance. The Order usually uses this ring to change the shape of objects, forming needed components out of available atoms. It can, however, used to transmute the molecular composition of objects, such as changing the air around a target into a poisonous gas and can also speed up and slow down molecular movement so as to alter states of matter like turning water vapor into liquid water. Given a proficient wearer, it can also be used as a teleport device. This item is named for Pocharngo the Mutator, a Chaos god, but it is actually bound to the runes of Change and Mastery.

"Gore's Pounder," can project various forms of energy, most frequently that of fast neutrons with the concussive force of 350 pounds of TNT. The ring has also been used to project intense sonic vibrations and to create magnetic and gravitational waves to attract or repel objects and people. The ring may be capable of emitting other forms of energy as well. Often used to manipulate dangerous materials from a distance.

"Storm Bull's Ring," causes the air to move about at high speed in a vortex, basically a high tech screwdriver, capable of applying torque to delicate instruments as well as vastly large items. The vortex can be used as an offensive weapon, as a means of levitating objects, or as a means of propelling the wearer through the air, but these non-intended functions require training and familiarity with the ring.

"Chaos' Bane," emits a beam of energy that destroys all bonds between the atoms and molecules of the object it strikes. This ring needs twenty minutes to recharge after use. A proficient wearer with Darksense can generate a selective beam, removing blockages. Although intended for inanimate objects, proficiency will allow surgical applications, but this use is frowned upon, as disastrous consequences can occur...

"Dehore's Stone," can create an area of absolute blackness that seems to absorb all light used within it. This is used for transporting or working on photosensitive materials, though cunning and skilled Gadbladdi can nuetralize lasers and electric eyes with it.
A steal at $20 million but individual items at a mere $5 million each.

The Gault Protoplasm
On a distant world, long since gone, a genius by the name of Harlowe Gault perfected this substance, an organic form he dubbed "mirror cells" due to their ability to perfectly mimic any organic matter with which they came into contact. While Gault used it to create an army of hybrid freaks he used as troops and assassins. Our intentions are more benign, as a few healthy cells from a donor can provide any organ desired, with almost no threat of rejection, and only the usual dangers inherent to surgery. One weighs out the proper amount of protoplasm, adds the cells, and within minutes, the protoplasm has formed a healthy organ tailored to the donor.
Disclaimer: Gault Protoplasm has difficulties in replicating nerve tissue, resulting in thicker, ropey nerves, or (in the case of the brain) lessened intelligence. As Gault misused his discovery horribly, the protoplasm will be provided in pre-weighed packaging, adequate for replacement organs, but not entire creatures. The protoplasm sells at $500/pound of material.

The Muri Railgun
A monsterpiece of destruction, the railgun favored by the muri resembles nothing so much as an oversized shotgun(purchased guns will be scaled to the dimensions of the purchasing species), and can be loaded with anything-debris, nails, dirt-it's all the same to the railgun. The trick here is in the barrel, where gravimetric nuetralising circuitry has been embedded, generating an anti-gravity field.
Now, when most of you think of anti-gravity, you think of things floating in the air-that's two gravitic fields in balance, not true anti-gravity. The only thing in E-space minimally affected by gravity is light, so as the ammunition passes through the field, it's inertia propels it forward without gravitic restraints at the speed of light. Even a round of fine powder at that speed can rend an enemy to shreds.
The base gun goes for $1.5 million-replacement parts for rather less.
Disclaimer:Any attempt to crack open the barrel for a peek at the gravitmetric circuits will have devastating repercussions, most often either a sudden release of gravitimetric forces or an implosion resulting in a small singularity point.

Pain Blades
A dummy training device, the pain blade carries gravimetric circuitry that generates a field making the device operate like the weapon it's modelled on-same heft and weight, pull under inertia, etc.-but the business end is an energy field, that interacts with other such fields appropriately, so the finer points of blocking and deflection can be taught, but the energy field itself has no effect on flesh, other than projecting a nerve stimuli much more painful than an actual cut, but without the physical damage! The devices are supplied with a control to adjust the amount of pain, as well as a master control for lots of twenty so instructors can override their trainees' more sadistic leanings.
The blades themselves range from $20,000-$150,000, depending on the desired weapon. Master controls start at $100,000, with additions increasing the cost, if the instructor wishes to conduct underwater training or space training, as examples.
Disclaimer:This is a training aid, not an instrument of torture. Any use of the Pain Blade to torture anyone will result in nullifying the warranty, forfeiture of shipments, and possible criminal charges before a Sacred Mother.

The Gault protoplasm is fine for health purposes, but some people want a little bit more, or to differentiate themselves from others of their species.
For that reason, we offer various conversions-some may be illegal under your nation's laws, so consult a qualified attourney before contacting us for liability purposes. A full range of cybernetic and genetic enhancements are available, and any modifications can be undone free of charge if within the first year of conversion, though the conversion costs will not be reimbursed.
Cyberjack
The ultimate in hacker convenience-why bother with heavy keyboards, bulky mouses, and the like, when you can just plug in and surf at the speed of thought, leaving your hands free for Twinkies and soda. A motherboard with a full array of personalized programs is also available, allowing you to infiltrate a computer system with relative ease, freed of the time consuming task of typing. Be warned-cyberspace is not for the faint of heart, and certain black programs can be deadly, but none can think so rapidly as an organic. Motherboard filters can make the experience whatever you desire, from ancient crypts and ruins to pseudo-samurai trappings. Wander the ruins of ancient worlds or cybercities filled with neon, all from the comfort of your beanbag.

Animan conversion
Tired of the limits of the human form? Desiring fur, claws, enhanced senses, or even a tail? We can help-a full range of animal-human hybrids are available, allowing your body to become the fantasy form you desire. Enhanced night vision, sonar, and retractable claws all available-if Nature can produce it, we can replicate it.

Empowerment
Every generation has it's heroes-why not be one? The flexibility of the human genome allows for amazing abilities-the use of psionics, for example. Our converters will analyse your DNA, and insert the meta-gene, allowing for amazing abilities-flight, energy generation and manipulation, heightened senses, strength, agility, even armor plating. A full analysis is required to embark on this program, and results may not be what is desired. The meta-gene operates on complex directives, and not all powers will be available to all genetic encoding.
Disclaimer: If your desired powers are not going to happen according to the analysis, no refund will be forthcoming. Certain governments will frown upon meta-conversion, some to the extent of criminalizing the process. The Ordo Argan Argari accepts no liability for these circumstances, and full records will be made available to the subject's nation on request to ensure the Order is not held as an accomplice. Use of metahuman abilities to conduct criminal activity is not approved by the Ordo Argan Argari, and will result in reversion upon capture, with forfeiture of all further dealings with the Ordo Argan Argari.

Environmental Adjustment
It's a perfect, uninhabitted world, except it's all underwater, the gravity's too intense, the sulfuric acid clouds sully one's enjoyment? Well, have no fear-the Ordo Argan Argari will modify you to the world's demands-greater muscle density for heavier gravities, gills, denser hides to avoid the sulfuric acid, even conversion into a gaseous or energy form if required. No world is beyond you now-just bring your requirements and a lot of cash!

SIC:
The Syndicate wishes to purchase five (5x) Dehore's Stones, two (2x) Chaos' Bane rings, one (1x) Gore's Pounder ring, five (5x) Pamalt's Servant rings, one (1x) Himile Ring, and one top-of-the-line Pain Blade, for a combined price of 170,150,000 million for all fifteen (15x) items. The Syndicate also wishes to know if the Ordo Argan Argari offers discounts for frequent buyers or those who buy in bulk. Finally, the Syndicate wishes to know with what currency Ordo Argan Argari would like to be paid in, and how the Order would like to transfer the money and items in a discreet manner.

OOC(Kinda): (Coded message from Pamaltela to New Xiscapia, delivered by fatline squirt: )
"My dear /translation garbled beyond decryption/:
Perhaps higher mathematics are not the forte of Xiscapian schools, but by purchasing five (5) entire repair kits, one should save about 70,000,000 dollars. As far as the Pain Blades, a proper Xiscapian katana will run about 50,000, with a dagger going for 125,000. I should suggest a lot of twenty, as they throw the master control in for free at that point, and it certainly looks less suspicious.
"I shall be at the Laughing Dolphin with your shipment-the Sultan has work for me that will permit traverse through your sector of space. We can arrange payment then, eh? I expect certain of your people will cry grievously at the leaping houses of the Barrens.
"I shall deliver a Pain Blade dagger to Sticks, as well as a Master Control Rod. In future, might I suggest an arrangement with the weapons master at the Academy of the Rose? Master Miyagi is quite happy here with Karrg's Sons, but /too garbled to translate/ may be found in the /garbled/ sector of that data crystal. Just look under "Things the Incompetant Would Use for Blackmail" and it should pop right up. You can also find several of the Imperial Navy who will joyfully lose things in space given the proper enticement, and those enticements should be listed under their names.
"Give Foxy my best, and I will be at the Dolphin /garbled/. Don't worry about my files in Rio Casa-it's all the crap I've long since disproven, but want others to believe. Best to leave it dormant as a ticking time-bomb. The real deal's in the filing cabinets of the offices at /garbled/.
"All my best,
"/garbled/
"(the crest of the Baron of Infendells follows)"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IC:The requests of the Syndicate are denied, as the Order of Argan Argari may only deal with acknowledged governments. Your requests will be forwarded to Rio Casa and pending approval, will be reconsidered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IC: Given the cancellation of your order, our reports are deferred. Future orders will be required to bear an Imperial acknowledgement to be considered.

OOC: My mistake, I was under the impression that the "Dehore's Stone" was avaliable for 20 million and all other items listed there had the price of 5 million. But the problem with communication is often found in the illusion that it occured.

Ralkovia is interested in purchasing 50,000 pain blades, with 50 master control.

Your order may easily be fufilled-inform us of the preferred weapon, and our pain blades will be built to specifications. Our ships will drop them off at the spaceport of choice, and you may enjoy your pain blades and master controls post haste

Aldryami are various species of sentient, mobile plant native to Pamaltela that instinctively tend the flora and fauna in their territory. As the aldryami colony grows, so grows the sentience of the individuals that make up the group-mind, as well as the group mind itself.
The aldryami will cultivate woodlands into optimal growth for the plant species in their care, and rather like bees, will produce far more than they can consume, trading with neighboring species their substantive excess, as well as furs and meats they have no personal use for from culling local fauna.
Though the black aldryami are granted full citizenship by the Pamaltelan government, making it illegal to traffic in the spores of the fungoid mushroom tenders, the Ordo Argan Argari can negotiate colony rights with this variety, allowing them to tend and preserve natural wetlands within the borders described in any contract.
Other species are not considered citizens, and thus their seeds may be freely bartered or sold as desired by the customer. These include:
The red aldryami, fern tenders who will administer the needs of any rainforest environment, raising the animals as cash crops and protecting the fragile flora indigenous to those regions.
The green aldryami, protectors of the forests, who grow great trees and cull the animals of the woodlands, cleaning up brush and preventing fires as well as generating massive tracts of managed woodlands.
Aldryami are symbiotes, and will always see to it their preferred natural environment flourishes, deriving much of their sustenance from the well-being of the plant life to which they have formed deepest bonds, be they ferns, trees, or mushrooms.
Yellow aldryami, bamboo and grain symbiotes, are not available for sale nor colonising, as this variety are natural reservoirs of vast psychic potential and concievably quite dangerous outside their natural Pamaltelan environment. Other varieties as described are readily available, and quite capable of terraforming worlds within the sun's biosphere in the span of a year without serious environmental repercussions.

A marvel of muri engineering, these "Jump Gates" negate the need for a hyperdrive. Simply pull your ship into the Gate, allow the scanner to charge your account, and a Jump Point to hyperspace opens, complete with navigational beacons keyed to your location. Fast, efficient, and no need of an energy-intensive FTL drive on your ship.
Escorts can be provided for a slight extra fee, complimentary in those sectors where hyperspace piracy has been reported.
The hyperspace lanes are regularily patrolled by mercenaries of the Argan Argari, and the gates themselves meticulously maintained by engineers of the Ordo Gadbladdi. Each Gate comes with a small flotilla for it's protection, and the Gate Keepers can shut down the Gates instantly in the event of hostilities or the request of the orbiting planet's government.
The Argan Argari will construct and maintain a Gate wherever permitted, allowing your populace the whole of space for vacationing and trade! The pleasure spheres of Xanadu and Aladdin's Light await, and all you need is a simple transport to orbit!
Disclaimer:the conditions of the Barrens are still inhospitable to our Gates, and transport there will be by pleasure barge instead-our cruise lines are the finest in Known Space, with the highest return rate of any other means of transport to the Barrens. This is a pricier option, but well worth the security.