Allanea
07-09-2008, 18:39
WANTED
DEAD OR ALIVE
As some of you know, the United States Government is at war with the Griffincrest Corporation and with its Patron State, the Blackhelm Condeferacy. After a procurement of a small amount of funds from the budget of the Confederacy of Sovereign States [after approval of the Confederate Treasurer], we have established a reward fund for the heads of every leader of the Blackhelm Confederacy.
Specified below are rewards for the various leaders of the Blackhelm Confederacy. These rewards will be given to anybody who turns them in, dead or alive. Should they surrender to Allanean justice willingly, they themselves will receive the reward. As shown by our behavior in the New France Incident, our word is good – even when given to the worthless scum that lead the Blackhelm Confederacy and Griffincrest.
Specifically, wanted for crimes against humanity, violations of human rights, aggression tyranny is the Chancellor of The Blackhelm Confederacy, Lucius Blackhelm. The reward for his head is [u]fifty billion Universal Standard Dollars, delivered in a currency or commodity of your choice.
A reward of ten billion Universal Standard Dollars, again delivered in a form of your choosing, has been announced for all of the key military and security personnel of the Griffincrest corporation – Marius Firesword, Appius Stonebridge, Tiberius Goldshield, Aulus Silverknife, Gaius Whiteboot, Gnaeus Orangeblossom, Spurius Redvest, Marcus Blueshield and Vibius Silkshirt. Claudius Griffincrest is also worth ten billion.
Rated lower on the scale of villainy are the Chancellor's Secretary, Publius Reddollar, his chief advisor, and head of Worker's Affairs Department, Quintus Blackletter. Similarly rated are subhuman scum like Octavius Featherpen, Decimus Clearglass, Sextus Longbow, Titus Bronzemace, Numerius Copperchip, Romulus Gildedhelm, Cassius Darkhood, Gaius Redpepper and Marcus Greyhammer. They are worth a billion dollars each
A variety of smaller fish, especially local officials and cabinet ministers, are lower on the totem pole:
Appolonius Lightdagger, Ambrosius Ivorybowl, Flavius Brownhorse, Fabus Leathersack, Cornelius Yellowfeather, Arrius Ironlock, Artorius Brightring, Decius Redwing, Flavius Brownhorse, Ovitius Bronzefist, Julius Onyxbridge, Marcellus Lemontree, Lucius Greelamp, Cornelius Pureheart and Julius Glassdagger. Each of these scumsuckers is worth 250 million dollars.
Finally, on the last – and definitely least – level of human failure, corruption, and slime, are the various Public Relations Chiefs (excepting, of course, those serving in other capacities as well):
Servius Greenarrow, Vipsanius Bluebush, Claudius Redsaddle, Marcellus Stonehut, Gaius Smoothstone, Calidus Diamondhilt, Marcus Redbook, Rufus Blackhelm, Octavius Coldknife, Flavius Hotbread. They're worse 100 million.. In a break from our habit, we value Rufus Blackhelm at thrice the default fee if brought back alive.
Finally, a $200,00 scholarship will be provided to anybody who figures out what is it with Blackhelmians and composite name – Black-helm, Stone-hut, Glass-dagger, and why it is that they so many names of medieval weapons and armor in surnames, like Greenarrow, Firesword, and Blueshield. We at the Department of State suspect that the Blackhelmian census clerks probably have a D&D game generator stashed in somewhere.
We thank you for your help.
Sincerely yours,
The Allaneans.
DEAD OR ALIVE
As some of you know, the United States Government is at war with the Griffincrest Corporation and with its Patron State, the Blackhelm Condeferacy. After a procurement of a small amount of funds from the budget of the Confederacy of Sovereign States [after approval of the Confederate Treasurer], we have established a reward fund for the heads of every leader of the Blackhelm Confederacy.
Specified below are rewards for the various leaders of the Blackhelm Confederacy. These rewards will be given to anybody who turns them in, dead or alive. Should they surrender to Allanean justice willingly, they themselves will receive the reward. As shown by our behavior in the New France Incident, our word is good – even when given to the worthless scum that lead the Blackhelm Confederacy and Griffincrest.
Specifically, wanted for crimes against humanity, violations of human rights, aggression tyranny is the Chancellor of The Blackhelm Confederacy, Lucius Blackhelm. The reward for his head is [u]fifty billion Universal Standard Dollars, delivered in a currency or commodity of your choice.
A reward of ten billion Universal Standard Dollars, again delivered in a form of your choosing, has been announced for all of the key military and security personnel of the Griffincrest corporation – Marius Firesword, Appius Stonebridge, Tiberius Goldshield, Aulus Silverknife, Gaius Whiteboot, Gnaeus Orangeblossom, Spurius Redvest, Marcus Blueshield and Vibius Silkshirt. Claudius Griffincrest is also worth ten billion.
Rated lower on the scale of villainy are the Chancellor's Secretary, Publius Reddollar, his chief advisor, and head of Worker's Affairs Department, Quintus Blackletter. Similarly rated are subhuman scum like Octavius Featherpen, Decimus Clearglass, Sextus Longbow, Titus Bronzemace, Numerius Copperchip, Romulus Gildedhelm, Cassius Darkhood, Gaius Redpepper and Marcus Greyhammer. They are worth a billion dollars each
A variety of smaller fish, especially local officials and cabinet ministers, are lower on the totem pole:
Appolonius Lightdagger, Ambrosius Ivorybowl, Flavius Brownhorse, Fabus Leathersack, Cornelius Yellowfeather, Arrius Ironlock, Artorius Brightring, Decius Redwing, Flavius Brownhorse, Ovitius Bronzefist, Julius Onyxbridge, Marcellus Lemontree, Lucius Greelamp, Cornelius Pureheart and Julius Glassdagger. Each of these scumsuckers is worth 250 million dollars.
Finally, on the last – and definitely least – level of human failure, corruption, and slime, are the various Public Relations Chiefs (excepting, of course, those serving in other capacities as well):
Servius Greenarrow, Vipsanius Bluebush, Claudius Redsaddle, Marcellus Stonehut, Gaius Smoothstone, Calidus Diamondhilt, Marcus Redbook, Rufus Blackhelm, Octavius Coldknife, Flavius Hotbread. They're worse 100 million.. In a break from our habit, we value Rufus Blackhelm at thrice the default fee if brought back alive.
Finally, a $200,00 scholarship will be provided to anybody who figures out what is it with Blackhelmians and composite name – Black-helm, Stone-hut, Glass-dagger, and why it is that they so many names of medieval weapons and armor in surnames, like Greenarrow, Firesword, and Blueshield. We at the Department of State suspect that the Blackhelmian census clerks probably have a D&D game generator stashed in somewhere.
We thank you for your help.
Sincerely yours,
The Allaneans.