NationStates Jolt Archive

SPOLETIVM NEWS NETWORK

Thanks and welcome to SNN! My name is Livia Augusta, and I'm here with tonights top stories. In a shocking turn of events, our glorious leader has decided to sign a deal with Zeppelin Manufacturing Industries to station the majority of our nuclear stockpile in space! The systems used will likely be similar to the ones seen in Doomingsland, but currently all information surrounding these devices is classified.

The camera cut from Livia to a picture of last Sunday's weekly military parade, specifically focusing on the missiles, whose exact tonnage could not be specified.

Since we have no longer need for outdated equipment such as this, our glorious leader, praise be to Ceaser Gaius Sertorius, has offered to transfer the weapons for a sum of money to the highest bidder. Although an exact number of warheads was unavailable, given our size of three billion citizens and the glorious ceasers steadfast commitment to defending our nation, it can easily be estimated that the total cost will be an immeasurable sum of money!

The camera cut back to Livia.

Speaking of our glorius ceaser, I was able to sit down with him the other day for a breif interview. Here was what Ceaser Sertorius had to say about the deal with ZMI.

She blushed as the camera cut to the clip. Gaius Sertorius was shown from the waist up, dressed in the attire of a normal buisnessman. His chubby form pushed at the buttons, and he hardly looked the part of the leader. However, when he began to speak, the charisma that had formerly been lacking became apparent.

GLORIOVS citizens of SPOLETIVM, I come to you with great news today! Today we move forward to the future of the defence of our homes! And with this, we also look to make a large sum of money by selling our current systems! Recently, the world has fussed and squabbled about the sale of uranium on the open market. Well let their jaws drop in wonder as we sell our arsenal to the most unsavory folks you have e're laid eyes upon. And will the world stop us? Hah! The world DARES not to encroach upon GLORIOVS SPOLETIVM!

The camera then cut back to Livia, and applause could be heard from around the studio. Everyone supported the Ceaser. Well, not everyone. Those that didn't just weren't around anymore to voice dissent.

On the other side of this commercial break, we'll bring you the updated situation on the factory fire in Trasimum as well as the 7 day weather outlook. Looks like smog will dampen any chances of sunshine around the cities, unfortunately...

Questions? Comments? Send them to me via TG or on #draftroom @irc.esper.net, rather than posting them here. Save the thread for roleplay.

OOC: It would be a nice thing. I'm tired of this "I have more than you! I demand you to stop! No I mean I just want a pretext to annex you so my E-penis will enlarge!" crap that newbie NSes have to cope with. Come on, there is virtually no non-proliferation treaty in NS other than the WA LOL. And there are just too many would be "world policemen" for too little around. It's time for this high school bullying and dickwaving system to end. Foreign policy isn't about "I have more than you, I pwn you and I win." and that's over.

Remember what the annexation of Czechoslovakia led to... or the Cuban Missile Crisis. Diplomacy in NS is a joke and personally, I would love to use a puppet-bait to lure some "LOOK AT ME RAWWWGH! I RULE NS!" types who destroy RP quality.

OOC: I agree with Third Spanish States.

The government of Ascelonia would like to know how much a nuclear weapon would cost.

Just a warning to everyone here, if you have anything OOC'ly to say to the original poster, say so in other channels (telegrams, instant message, start an OOC thread, etc). This is an IC thread and will be treated as such. Any further OOC posts will result in a warning.

The Aaronian Empire, in it's constant fight for power would like to purchase much or your nuclear stockpile. This will aid our people greatly.

The United Socialist States of Daiwiz warn the nation of Spotlvm, that it is not suggested to trade nuclear weapons. It is impossible to know the intentions of whom you are selling said weapons to. For all that can be known, you might be selling them to a nation that aims to use them against you! This is meant as a friendly warning, for we do not wish for nuclear weapons to be launched, ever.

Daiwiz offers good advice and as an act of good measure, the Aaronian Empire would like to offer a permanent peace agreement to ensure that we will not use these weapons against you