NationStates Jolt Archive

Integritopian News Network (INN)--"News You Can Watch"

Breaking News!

FREEDOM, Integritopia--

They often disguise themselves with confidently revealing spandex and obnoxious capes, but for Integritopia's most beloved Superhero...the sky's the limit.

The Incredible Hyperbole held a press conference earlier this evening to announce, in light of personal hardship, that several corporate sponsors will enjoy a prominently displayed logo on the masked hero's uniform.
"I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea," stated the Incredible Hyperbole, "I'm still one-hundred percent committed to morality, integrity, and the new and improved taste of Bed Rull Energy Drink!!"

Amidst a maelstrom of questions, the hero added that this is a once-in-a-lifetime advertizing opportunity. Furthermore, the hero was asked to justify the 'Super' high cost for a well-placed logo. "Some of you might be wondering what I've done...Well, I was the guy that saved that schoolbus full of children last October. Also, I saved a bunch of money on my auto-insurance by switching to Keico!" A well-timed wink followed the shameless endorsement, leading many to wonder whether the hero had lost his mind.

Anyone interested in advertizing by way of the Incredible Hyperbole should leave their information.

OOC: Seriously, between the microwaves, superheroes and "wars" on racism, stop trying to be funny or GTFO.

Griffincrest will sponsor him.

OOC: Seriously, between the microwaves, superheroes and "wars" on racism, stop trying to be funny or GTFO.

IC: Are you suggesting that our issues of state are something to be laughed at?

OOC: Zinaire, I haven't had the pleasure of getting to know you on a personal level, so I hardly feel qualified to criticize you. If you dislike my posts, feel free to ignore them. I thank you for your understanding.

IC: Are you suggesting that our issues of state are something to be laughed at?

OOC: Zinaire, I haven't had the pleasure of getting to know you on a personal level, so I hardly feel qualified to criticize you. If you dislike my posts, feel free to ignore them. I thank you for your understanding.

OOC: It's basically spam though, that's the thing. Better spam than most, but spam nonetheless.

OOC: If you want to make a joke IC thread, I recommend you to check some examples of how it's properly done before your threshold of fail becomes epic and the batteries of IGNORE cannons hit you:

http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=558058

http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=558133

http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=558660

http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=556747

http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=554320

Kulikovian News Network

"Good evening, comrades-I'm Sasha Borev and this is your news tonight. Our top story tonight is the shocking announcement made by famous superhero: The Incredible Hyperbole. In a stunning and controversial move, the masked hero has requested corporate sponsorship. Many people have taken to the streets and talk shows, condemning this move as immoral of a man whom many people look up to"

"This is an outrage!" Fumes one passerby, "He's supposed to be for the people. Not promoting Red Bull and other stuff"

"How can he do this?" Questions another, "What happened to the real heroes?!"

The Exterminator looked down at the news article. He smiled. "Ach du lieber!" he exclaimed. "I've got to tell George II und ze rest of ze Marionetonian gubberment about this! Dey might want to advertise! Und besides, I might be able to grope ze man's wife while he's not looking!"

"Bwahahaha" Laughed the Grey Guru hidden within his secret tree-house deep in the central reserves of Sarrowquand "And when Hyperbole man does recieve such sponsors I shall contact their corporate enemies and other my services to show him and by extension his sponsors up. Bweheheheh"

OOC: Zinaire, I haven't had the pleasure of getting to know you on a personal level, so I hardly feel qualified to criticize you. If you dislike my posts, feel free to ignore them. I thank you for your understanding.

OOC: I feel that Integritopia is being very generous in giving such a tolerant response in this situation. Nobody's forcing you to read his posts, Zinaire, so how about you show the respect that he is showing you and just let him roleplay as he wants.

The New Soviet Man, The hero of the Soviet System was outraged, how dare he do this, and with that The New Soviet Man, with his body of metal started to plan a way to get back at Hyperbole for supporting the capitalists

OOC: This looks like it could get to be quite fun.

OOC: yes it could what powers do Hyperbole

George Tush II looked down at the piece of paper. "What does it say, Dick?" he asked.

"Something about some superhero," Dick replied. "Read it yourself--oh, that's right, I forgot: you don't know how to read."

"Well it's just a @$*#ing piece of paper," George said.

"Uh huh," Dick replied. Then he told George what the message from The Exterminator said.

"Oh my!" Exclaimed Rio Nevada, in her smokey whiskey voice (http://www.atddm.com/rio2.htm) "He has just put himself in terrible danger of the 'Goans find out that more superheroes exist." She had fled her homeland many years ago when the people had been manipulated into rising up against the Super Heroes that protected them. Most had died for the sin of being 'different', powerful, envied but she had fled and thus lived. Mostly she hid ...and to see this blatant advertising made her shake her head and walk away quickly from the window of the electronics store. Before anyone caught her interest in such...She couldn't be too careful.

Rio expertly lost herself in the noon hour crowd.

"But this is wasteful," the chairman of the oversight committee said. "We can't just go throwing money around any way we please!"

Dick shot him in the face.

Somehow, he survived.

Rio looked about carefully, and decided that no one was paying her any more attention that they werw paying to any other reasonably non haggish female, and stopped in fromt of another electronics store. They were showing the "man on the street "reactions from Kulikovia, on the Kulikovian News Network. The people in Kulikovia seemed to be highly disappointed.

"Well, every one has to make a living some how you twits. What do you think he lives on? Thin air?" Rio spoke aloud, but very softly, purely to herself. It was a habit she had picked up since the dark days in Nuevo Nihongo..

Once the news turned to other matters, she shrugged and moved along, doing her best to stay utterly unremarkable.