NationStates Jolt Archive

Not so long ago in a MMORPG like this one....


NationStates

The Pirates of The Galaxy

The Galaxy is in Chaos, as wars are being fought on all Corners of the Milky Way Galaxy, there are heroes on all sides, evil is everywhere!

While the wars are being fought between nations, Star Pirates run rampant though out the areas between the Galactic Federation and The Hyperborian Khanate.

With the Rise of piracy, Trade routes are now more deadly then The battlefields, making it hard for even The Cimmarian Samurais and others for Keeping The routes open for trade and peace....

OOC:

Note to the mods. This thread is for parody purposes only, and to inspire a good Role Play while mixing the odd funny joke. I'd also like to admit that were quite bored.

IC:

PIRATES!
The Galaxy is full of Pirates, including that oddball one that somehow gets drunk and saves the lives of millions. However, this story isn't about the oddball, rather its about pure bloodshed. And hatred, let's include hatred. Because hatred and pirates mix well, and eventually the pirate meets the awesome looking babe who should have been with the awesome looking hero. What was I typing about again? Oh yea, Pirates!

Our Hero, Captain Stereotype, has pledge himself to plunder and riches across the Steppe/Anagonian border. His disloyal crew of fifty, all hired hands ready for a mutiny, have killed thousands of not-so-innocent capitalists from the Uber-Corporation of Northrop-Grumman, and hate Jack O'Neill because he left his previous assignment as a kick-butt guy who could make weapons with a paperclip, a pencil, and a toilet. This unending rage has landed them in the most unnerving situation of all: Plundering more Grummian Capitalist Dogs or attacking another Pirate ship for pure enjoyment. Our hero chose the Pirate way of doing things, do unto your brother so he can't do unto you.

Will this encounter lead Captain Stereotype and his disloyal band of not-so-merry men (and women) to finally trust each other? Or will this adventure be another useless story about nothing in particular? Whichever way, someone dies, and someone dies harder. NOW ONTO THE ACTION BELOW THIS LONG LINE OF WORDS!

On board the Insert Name Here

Captain Stereotype was rather enjoying not having a knife being stabbed into his back. Standing about six foot and three, he had enough surgery and regen treatments to prove that his crew really wanted him dead. For reason unexplained, he retained them, almost as if some guy had forced this hell upon him. Some twenty-two year old behind a computer screen, forcing upon the Captain obscene and rather stupid thoughts to create a character worthy of pity. It was almost as if-

"Captain, your thinking out loud again." First Mate Johnny Whatever said from the other side of the bridge. Stereotype looked oddly back, with mad and rather simple-to-read eyes. His gruff black beard and odd-looking cap added to his stereotypical look as a pirate. He coughed silently, "What did I say?"

"You were talking about that twenty-two year old kid again," Johnny said as if for the thousandth time. "Really, I don't understand why you don't just kill yourself and be over with it."

Johnny Whatever was the stereotypical First Mate. Blunt, honest, and wanting the damn ship for himself. His childish looks betrayed an alien expression, showing a cold heart and someone who could kill without a second thought. He also wore a stereotypical pirate hat. This added up was possibly one of the reasons Captain Stereotype enjoyed his presence, despite the hundred attempts on his life by Johnny. With a maddening gaze, he shook the last comment off. "Next time you'll die for that."


Johnny shrugged, "Whenever you get the ba-"

"Captain, ship closing in!" exclaimed the rather random pirate on the console, who seemed to be without description and wearing a rather Trekkie red shirt. "Shall we transport over without proper weapons, get ourselves killed off expect for the Captain, and somehow survive without enough crew?"

Stereotype thought about that for a moment, then dismissed it. "Nah, we'll just open a channel."

"Awww, but I wanted to die," complained the rather depressed red shirt pirate. Then continued to mumbled about something involved banana's as the channel was opened to the other pirate ship. "Channel opened."

"Attention other ship whom we assume to be pirates! We are the Insert Name Here, and wish to have tea with yo-"

"I don't think they'll go for that," Johnny interrupted. "How about you just say, 'prepare to be boarded?'"

"Ah, very good there First Mate!" Stereotype took on a more maddening look, "Prepare to be boarded you space dogs!" He coughed under his breath, "And we'll share some tea too."

Johnny slapped his face, then ordered the random Red Shirts to bring the stolen Accalamator I's weapons to bare. Apparently the Grand Army lost some of its ships, but thankfully the Accalamator I wasn't as powerful, nor should it be feared. Its weapons were pathetic compared to most ships in this age, but if it had a good Captain then it could make a formidable opponent. However, for this story, our heroic Captain has the intelligence of a Peanut.

OOC:

Note to the mods. This thread is for parody purposes only, and to inspire a good Role Play while mixing the odd funny joke. I'd also like to admit that were quite bored.

IC:

PIRATES!
The Galaxy is full of Pirates, including that oddball one that somehow gets drunk and saves the lives of millions. However, this story isn't about the oddball, rather its about pure bloodshed. And hatred, let's include hatred. Because hatred and pirates mix well, and eventually the pirate meets the awesome looking babe who should have been with the awesome looking hero. What was I typing about again? Oh yea, Pirates!

Our Hero, Captain Stereotype, has pledge himself to plunder and riches across the Steppe/Anagonian border. His disloyal crew of fifty, all hired hands ready for a mutiny, have killed thousands of not-so-innocent capitalists from the Uber-Corporation of Northrop-Grumman, and hate Jack O'Neill because he left his previous assignment as a kick-butt guy who could make weapons with a paperclip, a pencil, and a toilet. This unending rage has landed them in the most unnerving situation of all: Plundering more Grummian Capitalist Dogs or attacking another Pirate ship for pure enjoyment. Our hero chose the Pirate way of doing things, do unto your brother so he can't do unto you.

Will this encounter lead Captain Stereotype and his disloyal band of not-so-merry men (and women) to finally trust each other? Or will this adventure be another useless story about nothing in particular? Whichever way, someone dies, and someone dies harder. NOW ONTO THE ACTION BELOW THIS LONG LINE OF WORDS!

On board the Insert Name Here

Captain Stereotype was rather enjoying not having a knife being stabbed into his back. Standing about six foot and three, he had enough surgery and regen treatments to prove that his crew really wanted him dead. For reason unexplained, he retained them, almost as if some guy had forced this hell upon him. Some twenty-two year old behind a computer screen, forcing upon the Captain obscene and rather stupid thoughts to create a character worthy of pity. It was almost as if-

"Captain, your thinking out loud again." First Mate Johnny Whatever said from the other side of the bridge. Stereotype looked oddly back, with mad and rather simple-to-read eyes. His gruff black beard and odd-looking cap added to his stereotypical look as a pirate. He coughed silently, "What did I say?"

"You were talking about that twenty-two year old kid again," Johnny said as if for the thousandth time. "Really, I don't understand why you don't just kill yourself and be over with it."

Johnny Whatever was the stereotypical First Mate. Blunt, honest, and wanting the damn ship for himself. His childish looks betrayed an alien expression, showing a cold heart and someone who could kill without a second thought. He also wore a stereotypical pirate hat. This added up was possibly one of the reasons Captain Stereotype enjoyed his presence, despite the hundred attempts on his life by Johnny. With a maddening gaze, he shook the last comment off. "Next time you'll die for that."


Johnny shrugged, "Whenever you get the ba-"

"Captain, ship closing in!" exclaimed the rather random pirate on the console, who seemed to be without description and wearing a rather Trekkie red shirt. "Shall we transport over without proper weapons, get ourselves killed off expect for the Captain, and somehow survive without enough crew?"

Stereotype thought about that for a moment, then dismissed it. "Nah, we'll just open a channel."

"Awww, but I wanted to die," complained the rather depressed red shirt pirate. Then continued to mumbled about something involved banana's as the channel was opened to the other pirate ship. "Channel opened."

"Attention other ship whom we assume to be pirates! We are the Insert Name Here, and wish to have tea with yo-"

"I don't think they'll go for that," Johnny interrupted. "How about you just say, 'prepare to be boarded?'"

"Ah, very good there First Mate!" Stereotype took on a more maddening look, "Prepare to be boarded you space dogs!" He coughed under his breath, "And we'll share some tea too."

Johnny slapped his face, then ordered the random Red Shirts to bring the stolen Accalamator I's weapons to bare. Apparently the Grand Army lost some of its ships, but thankfully the Accalamator I wasn't as powerful, nor should it be feared. Its weapons were pathetic compared to most ships in this age, but if it had a good Captain then it could make a formidable opponent. However, for this story, our heroic Captain has the intelligence of a Peanut.

The Planet Angathia, The Porbor System

Anagathia was a City-world that was the color of Dull Grey, Polluted by Tens of Thousands of years of Industrial Expansdion and Dust. One could not go out without a Rebreather, But now with The Hyperborians in Control, Air Scrubers, Waste Cleaners and Water Filters were cleanin the world up, even though it will take over Two hunderd years for Anagathia to be totaly De-toxicfied.

It was the base world for Von Kalraia Shipping, a wealthy Shipping Company that shipped Goods to the Outer worlds of the Hyperborian Khanate. own by one Madame Daldoushi Von Kalraia, who had one secert.

She was a Pirate.

Leader of the Dreaded Pirates of The Black Star, a Pirate gang that threated the Trade Route Between The Galactic Federation and The Hyperborian Khanate, whoes name was feared in the Hyperborian Outer Worlds.

Today, Von Kalraia was meeting with Stock holders.....all of them her puppets. and there was trouble........

"So, I heard that someone was skimming money from this Company, seems that someone thought that the money I give you was no good for their own Purses, so they have stolen what they could not get." Stareing at all of them, she looked at Gangaisu, a Pal'thai'to'to, The Roach-like alien looked around and then asked a Stupid Question. "Mesa Fired?" It asked in it's smal voice.

"No, You-sa FRIED!" Madame Von Kalraia said as she pushed a Botton that started a hidden Flame Thrower that was in the table. The Roach never escaped the fire, Gangaisu soon ran, on fire, only to fall out of the window.

Good news, he Survive the Fall and fire.

The Bad news, he fell into a tub of Acid.

"I am now holding Interviews for a New Stockholder" She said. No one said much about it.

"Why is there a cockroach running around screaming on my bridge?"

Recently, science invented a device to party. This device, so awesome and advanced, warped the very fabric of space and time. So much so, that often enough, Chuck Norris came through the warp in time and space to start roundhouse kicking the crew of the Insert Name Here to death. This usually led to mutiny, and a fear for the "Chuck Warp", as it was called. Despite this, they had partied, and for the first time Chuck Norris didn't kill half of Captain Stereotype's crew. Stereotype took this as a divine sign that the Almighty Chuck approved of their change of music from Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" to something more sanitary.

Of course Stereotype missed Rick's music, but he preferred to be fully crewed. Upon gazing at the cockroach and proceeding through a track of thought that took three hours to complete, Stereotype forgot what exactly he was talking about. And so, upon gazing around the bridge at the ten baffled Red Shirts, he grabbed his gun that magically appeared on his stereotypical pirate outfit and shot one Red Shirt, completely forgetting his target should have been the banana man dancing to the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" song.

And so he scratched his stereotypical beard, in a very stereotypical way, amusing himself as the Red Shirt screamed that his guts were splashing everywhere. Then he saw the cockroach again, still screaming with acid poured over it. Somehow he gained enough intelligence to figure that the "Chuck Warp" must have relocated this poor, miserable creature to the Insert Name Here. His line of thought continued for another hour, his expression growing maddening, psychopathic, just as at the end of the hour as Johnny Whatever squashed it and acted all stereotypical.

That was a bad mistake. It was Captain Stereotype's Job to be stereotypical. He started to dance the Numa Numa song, on his hands! It was ON! Until Johnny gave the "look". A look so evil, so foul, so freakin' scary that Stereotype had no choice but to run in terror. After screaming like a frightened girl looking at a Barney, and running into three bulkhead doors in the process, the bridge was free of stupidity.

Now all Johnny Whatever had to figure out was where in the hell was a ship to board?

"Why is there a cockroach running around screaming on my bridge?"

Recently, science invented a device to party. This device, so awesome and advanced, warped the very fabric of space and time. So much so, that often enough, Chuck Norris came through the warp in time and space to start roundhouse kicking the crew of the Insert Name Here to death. This usually led to mutiny, and a fear for the "Chuck Warp", as it was called. Despite this, they had partied, and for the first time Chuck Norris didn't kill half of Captain Stereotype's crew. Stereotype took this as a divine sign that the Almighty Chuck approved of their change of music from Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" to something more sanitary.

Of course Stereotype missed Rick's music, but he preferred to be fully crewed. Upon gazing at the cockroach and proceeding through a track of thought that took three hours to complete, Stereotype forgot what exactly he was talking about. And so, upon gazing around the bridge at the ten baffled Red Shirts, he grabbed his gun that magically appeared on his stereotypical pirate outfit and shot one Red Shirt, completely forgetting his target should have been the banana man dancing to the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" song.

And so he scratched his stereotypical beard, in a very stereotypical way, amusing himself as the Red Shirt screamed that his guts were splashing everywhere. Then he saw the cockroach again, still screaming with acid poured over it. Somehow he gained enough intelligence to figure that the "Chuck Warp" must have relocated this poor, miserable creature to the Insert Name Here. His line of thought continued for another hour, his expression growing maddening, psychopathic, just as at the end of the hour as Johnny Whatever squashed it and acted all stereotypical.

That was a bad mistake. It was Captain Stereotype's Job to be stereotypical. He started to dance the Numa Numa song, on his hands! It was ON! Until Johnny gave the "look". A look so evil, so foul, so freakin' scary that Stereotype had no choice but to run in terror. After screaming like a frightened girl looking at a Barney, and running into three bulkhead doors in the process, the bridge was free of stupidity.

Now all Johnny Whatever had to figure out was where in the hell was a ship to board?

The Cargo Ship Tanakasyussi

The Tanakasyussi was a Large Cargoship that was owned by one Tradeing Company that was well known......

Von Kalraia Shipping

Officaly, it was carrying 50 Megatons of Food, Unofficaly.....

It had weapons.

Weapons heading for a Secert Pirate Base, own by the Pirates of The Black Star. Ready for raiding The Galactic Federation's Trade routes...IN THE GF!

it was armed with a few Turbolasers. It was well protected from other Pirates.

"I just hope they don't attack." The Capitan said.