NationStates Jolt Archive

Open to comments, inquiries, suggestions, etc.

RNN is an exclusive look into the average day events in Ralkovia. You can find out wierd things you would never think of hearing from an empire based on money, war, and everything evil in the world. You can even have a say in the politics, law, and economy of Ralkovia.
You can learn about civil wars, corruption, and even enviromental and human right violations in Ralkovia that you can raise a fuss about. RNN is open to suggestions(send me a telegram on the NS site) by other nations for news stories. RNN will usually be updated weekly if not daily.

7/10

Tyrone:"Hello I'm Tyrone Biggums and you have just tuned in to RNN. We have had a busy day in Ralkovia. Ralkovian legislature with permission from the great and wonderful Emperor has allowed the death penalty to be used as a form of punishment against the following offences: Burglary, DUI, DWI, drug trafficking, human trafficking, and conspiracy.

A new law was passed Thursday allowing civilians to buy unarmed Armored Personnel Carriers.

Red, White, Black and illegal all over. Swastikas were outlawed yesterday due to the recent Nazi rally that destroyed $2 billion in property damage. Any Swastikas you own must be destroyed by February or you could face a fine up to $100,000. Also all rallies of extremist groups are restricted to parks and must be supervised by heavily armed government troops. WELL THATS SUCKS FOR THEM....

In sports news the Terrible Tyrants beat the Bastardized Buzzers at the honorable game of chainsaw chucking. One of the highlights was Josef Myzer of the Bastardized Buzzers getting cut in half as you can see in this clip.

OH I WOULD HATE TO BE THAT GUY!!!!!!

In international soccer, the Ralkovian Reds defeated the Bernardine Blues, 20 to 2. This has been the Ralkovian Reds 48th consecutive victory. Juan Terme scored 10 of the 20 goals and made 3 assists. Oliver Smith made 2 assists and 5 goals. The Bernardine Blues were pushed around until the last quarter when Terme was struck with a crowbar by a Bernardine blue fan who made it past the overly lacking Bernardine security.

Now for the weather with Cherese Williams...."

Cherese:"Hi Tyrone, its real windy here on the northern Ralkovian coast with wind speeds of almost 90mph. Residents have been forced to stay in their homes as debris is flying everywhere. This wind will increase as category 3 Hurricane Gonnakillu makes landfall in the next day or two. "

Tyrone:Thanks Cherese... well we just had an update. A great tragedy has befallen the are great nation, the Emperors nephew has just died. The emperor is giving his address as we speak.

Emperor Dire: "Those responsible for the death of my nephew will be punished. Someone sunk the research ship he was on and when we find out who, they will not find mercy on any shores. I will make sure they hang from my palace window personally. They have not only killed my nephew, they have killed 300 brave, honorable, unarmed Ralkovians. This will not stand....I will not stand by that is why I ask you my loyal subjects to report to your local police station if you have any information on who killed my nephew."

Tyrone:"Let us all give a moment of silence for are beloved prince................In related news the chief of the ministry of science, and inner party member to the emperor, Nasra Colbert died aboard the same ship as the emperors nephew.

Also Ralkovia is opening a second chain of islands for sale to foreign interests. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=559536)

Thank you this has been RNN, see you soon"

Tyrone:Hello I'm Tyrone Biggums and you have just turned to RNN. The most trusted station for Ralkovian News.
Some of our top stories today are:
Disaster Strikes New Yon City,
Boy gets a stabbing headache!,
Prescription drugs raise to an all time high,
and


A flood hit New Yon City today. Water levels raised 4 feet as the Kingston Levee broke letting tons of water pass into the city. Early death tolls are believed to be in the hundreds. Raskov National Hospital was flooded in both ways with doctors having to operate with almost a foot of water. This flood came as a surprise as weather monitoring resources were used to observe hurricane Gonnakillu, which luckily for northern ralkovia died down as a current of cold water and wind weakened it to a low tropical storm.

We will be giving you a live news feed from New Yon by cherese.

Cherese:Hello Tyrone, as you can see water levels are extremely high. The ralkovian national guard and army corp. of engineers have been sent in to rescue people and repair the levies, respectively. The Army Corps of engineers have place large conzac blocks by chopper. This has stopped the flooding from getting higher and are now using large "vacuums" to try and lower water levels. The national guard has been using choppers to evac people to higher ground, in this case the tops of skyscrapers and other buildings. The initial estimate of damage is 228 Billion dollars. Back to you Tyrone.

Tyrone:Thanks Cherese, keep us updated. In the Southern Ralkovian city of Jandase. A boy was stabbed in the head, the knife went into the skull and became stuck there. The boy reported having a stabbing headache for several days before his mom took him for an xray. The result showed the knife sticking into the brain. The boy is fine and the knife has been removed without causing him any harm.

In other news, the prices for prescription drugs have raised 100 dollars more than average for almost every drug. The government has said if the prices don't lower it will have to intervene. This has come amongst the pleas of diabetic citizens who had to pay $300, now $400 to get insulin injections. The government has demanded that pharmaceutical and drug companies must lower their prices immediately or they will turn the private companies into state owned ones. These companies argue that they are making less than $10 of profit after subtracting workers wages and immense government taxes, so that they can't even run the factories without losing half of that profit to the electric companies.
Legislations has met with the emperor to discuss lowering taxes on drug companies.

Thank you, we hope for you to continue to tune in to RNN"

Tyrone: Hello this is Tyrone Biggums and this is RNN,

Small Battles have broken out across New Wingsborow, Ralkovia with the Fascist Binox group and the Communist Moers fighting across the province. Death toll has been estimated in the 100's. Ralkovian Police and Riot squads have been dispatched from across Ralkovia to end these disturbances. The Emperor has made threat to dispatch the death guard and disband both groups.

We are bringing you live feed from Max Brawning. He is with the Riot squads as we speak.


Max:Hello tyrone. Riot squads are responding to a disturbance on North Hamdon road, where the Binox and Moers have taken positions at these two houses and have been firing at each other with AK's, Light Machine Guns, and colts for almost 3 hours. Riot squad have taken positions at the cross lanes and intersections and are preparing to take these radicals out.

*a streak of light coming from the Binox hits the house where the Moers are fighting from. An explosion shatters a wall in the house*

You have just seen what is believed to be an RPG round hitting the Moer- occupied house. Riot squads are now rushing the houses to capture the radical groups. Tyrone we will keep you informed.

Tyrone:Thank you max. We have had a few updates of our own. It seems that this conflict has spilled into the Mardan province with other communist and socialist groups opening fire on the police and fascist groups.
The Emperor has declared both provinces are in a state of emergency. National guard has already been deployed to keep these provinces in order and to prevent conflict from spreading.

Curfews will be instated tomorrow if this civil unrest increases anymore. The emperor is also talking about deploying special order groups and the ralkovian national army if this conflict persists any longer.

Tyrone:Well it is day 2 of this communist vs. fascist fight. The emperor as promised has called in the Ralkovian National Military to stamp out this civil war between these two groups. The emperor has also enacted a curfew in the provinces that these conflicts are taking place. It also saddens me but we have lost 4 of our news crew to this conflict. Max Brawnings died today after an RPG from a Moers group smashed into the vehicle Max and his camera crew were in. An official death toll has been made up to this point. 512 dead, 309 are civilians, 3 police deaths, 108 Binox deaths, and 92 Moer deaths. Injuries are in believed to be in the thousands.

Military Helicopters have been dispatched to the conflict to clear out houses of these radicals. 4,000 Ralkovian Sovereign Guard soldiers have been deployed to New Wingsborrow and Madran provinces. They will be equipped with top weapons and APCs.


The emperor has just made an announcement. The Moers group has been labeled terrorists as clear threats to government officials have been made by them. They will recieve the penalty of death if they are captured. They will be imprisoned for up to 30 years if they surrender before a battle begins. As for the Binox, the government is considering them rogue militia. They can recieve sentences of up to 40 years if captured and if they surrender before battle begins a sentence of up to 2 years, community service for 5 years and a fine of up to $10,000.


This has been RNN. Keeping you up to date in Ralkovian News."

OOC: Very strange nation you've got there :p. Still, very entertaining. Espicially "Chainsaw Chucking" :D

ooc:Glad someone likes it

To: Ralkovia
From: Republic News Network, Liberty City, Wolfenhalle

Dear Sir or Madam,
It has come to our attention that you have a news service called RNN, we ask that you change the name of this service or we will have bring in legal to settle it.

Signed,
Robert Garrison
President and CEO of RNN Group

To: Republic News Network, Liberty City, Wolfenhalle
From: Ralkovia/RNN


RNN is above all legal charges, the network is personally run by the Ralkovian Government. Bringing charges against a government over a name dispute would be ill-advised. RNN is an acronym and a widely used one at that. Also we report Ralkovian news, yours reports on well whatever you report on. Lastly, the R in your news network stand for republican, our R stands for Ralkovian. This would not be enough to warrant a court hearing.

Signed,

Thelma Rendrove
President and CEO of RNN

OOC:tyrone biggums? wasn't he a character on chappelles show?

Tyrone: This is day 3 of the conflict. The tides of this conflict between communism and fascism have reached out into the ocean that is the Ralkovian Northern State. The Northern States capitol has been attacked and taken over by the Moers. The government has fled to the Southern Ralkovian State. The emperor has enacted martial law. This has not been done in over 100 years. Ralkovian military units have secured the northern oil fields, uranium deposits and nuclear launch sites. Ships are now blockading the city of Tanbarain. The largest port city in Ralkovia. This is an attempt to stop the rebels from moving into southern ralkovia. The binox have tried to push the Moers out of the city but death tolls on both sides have been extrordinarily high. Over 10,000 dead have been reported by both sides. Ralkovian 4-star General Mizuki Cotalado has said that the Ralkovian army will not be involved in anything but evacuation of civilians and the recapture of the northern capitol. Binox has officially named a spokeperson on their behalf, the man has told military officials that the Binox have no quarrels with them, and they love the emperor but they cannot live while a communist blood sucker still lives in Ralkovia.

Tyrone: Tragedy Tragedy Tragedy. Crisis Crisis Crisis
Are Emperor may G-d rest his soul has been assassinated, the capital under attack, and a huge gas crisis with cost per barrel reaching $840 dollars. Gas shortages are at an all-time high with a gallon of unleaded gas costing $24.83. Normal transportation has crashed, public transportation and biking on an increase. Riots, starvation, and death all across Ralkovia. The oil rich protectorate of ruthmenostan and many of our refineries destroyed by the repelled balkov invasion. THIS IS RNN, most trusted name in Ralkovian News.

Hello and I am Tyrone, last week are glorious emperor was assassinated and his son was attacked on his way to the palace. The attacks happened across the city with hundreds of building damaged. The stock market building was also one of the buildings completely destroyed in the fighting between the military and the unknown culprits.

After the Balkov invasion last month, the protectorate of ruthmenostan was taken leaving ralkovia oil-dry. Gas prices soared. At almost $25 dollars a gallon in most parts of Ralkovia, cars have come to a screaching halt. Public Transportation has had an 89% increase in passengers, with not enough buses or subways to actually support them. Everyone is feeling this crunch, from the extremely poor and homeless, whose charity trucks which carry there usual meals can't afford to move, to the ultra-rich who have had to sell there mansions and cars to feed themselves. Even the government is feeling the pain with many of the council just making votes from their houses rather than use planes or cars to reach the capital.
Rioters have taken to the streets, riot police have been overwhelmed. The military has been called in to deal with these problems.
The stock market has almost crashed with government leadership lacking or completely gone.
Today the Emperor-in-waiting announced that he would pump 3 trillion dollars into the markets and help pay for gas bringing prices down to 14 dollars. The money he is using is from the Royal treasury.
Government leaders hope this will bring stability to the market. Almost 9 trillion dollars have been used to try to help end this crisis as much as possible...but good news is on its way. Ralkovia National Military announced that 3 theaters of conflict have ended bringing home over 900,000 troops. All none-nuclear powered ships, about 30% of the ralkovian navy, have been emptied of most of there fuel. This will be given to commercial and civilian use. All non-essential military assets have been emptied of fuel. Military units have been called in to protect new civilian and government assets such as refineries, ports, farmlands, powerplants, and new stock market buildings.
Militia have also joined in this fight, they and their families receiving small government packages of bread, milk, vegetables, fruits, some meat, and even an odd pint of ale.

Starvation is on the rise in most urban cities. Starvation has claimed 3000 lives, mostly infants and the elderly. Restaurants, grocery stores, even Zoo's and horse-racing tracks have reported being raided of food products and animals.
Ralkovian farmers have also reported attacks by these unarmed mobs of starving people. Grain and rice prices have raised almost 20 dollars per pound as militia have been ordered to guard these assets with orders to shoot to kill.
Ralkovian exports have ended almost completely except for foreign ships taking products out.

The ralkovian dollar though in foreign eyes has actually stayed the same value as gold and silver reserves of the Imperial Treasury.

The emperor in waiting has announced that he himself is selling hundreds of luxury items and giving up all food and wine from the royal kitchen and storage in the imperial palace to help the people. Mobs have paid no mind to the palace because of the deep respect to the emperor in waiting and his kind gesture. Coronation will have to wait for this emperor in waiting then.

Chuck can you comment on this.

Chuck: Yes tyrone, the Emperor in waiting has no real power until coronation.
The only real power he has at this point is the ability to use the private treasuries and wealth of his late father, the emperor, and his late mother, the matriarch. He of course has the death guard which are ultra-loyal to the Emperor but the army is also in general support of him. We will only feel relief for a short time tyrone about a month, the Emperor in waiting hopes though that this will make it calm enough for a proper coronation so he can use the national treasury and end taxes. We can however expect a solution once he is crowned as he plans on using the many oversea colonies to help the country.