NationStates Jolt Archive

Chamber of Nicholae Carpathia, Director of the Allanean Central Intelligence Comittee

"Very well.” - Carpathia threw his feet, clad in large pink combat boots, up on the table. - “Let us recap: Kahanistan's anti-Praetonian opposition must be subsumed. For this, two things must be done. First of all, we must explain to their leadership the nature of the enmity between Doomingsland – and the rest of the civilized world. If Kahanistan wants greatness again – if it wants revenge against Doomingsland – it must inevitably side with us. Only through the benign tutelage of the Praetonian and Allanean may the Kahanistani find their path – once more – to greatness. Do I understand that the memo was prepared?”

Carpathia's aide nodded. He wore no shirt – unless you count a set of blue gunpowder tattoos covering the area of his skin which would normally be hidden by a t-shirt – and a set of leather pants, breaking up the official athmosphere of the Chamber. Then again, so did Carpathia's pink combat boots.

"Here it is, Sir.”

The report – 400 pages of ACIA data in favor of Kahanistan's adopting a pro-Praetonian policy, carefully edited for the purpose of the oncoming 'leak' – has been stored on a single USB key. Because of the notorious ineptness of ACIA – rumoured to be inflitrated at low levels by Cotlandi agents, and at it's highest – by necrontyr intelligence, nobody would ever doubt that the Allaneans would store honest intelligence data on a USB key.

"Very well. Begin operation Glorious Failure.”

Ten days later

Within days, a scandal would begin in Allanea. It would appear that an ACIA agent had taken the data on a USB key to work on it at home, and his six-year-old son – who for some reason also had access to the machine - had accidentally set his P2P to cover the entire hard drive. Very soon, thousands of people have downloaded an .odt file containg Top Secret, Eyes Only secret intelligence analysis files – or so Carpathia would have them believe.

It was no longer possible – no matter how hard the ACIA 'tried' - to get the genie back in the bottle. The file, containing analysis by the intelligence agency's top brains, explaining irrefutably why the most anti-Doomani thing to do would be to get Kahanistan to side more explicitly with Praetonia was disseminated across dozens of P2P networks and downloadable from dozens of sites. Hundreds of thousands of bloggers and posters discussed the 'newest failure of Allanean information security'.

Naturally, the ACIA agent responsible was tried, and plead guilty to, 'dissemination of state secrets' and 500 counts of copyright violation. He was given five hundred years in prison – at least if you believed the ACIA's official announcements.

Congress demanded hearings of how Carpathia, on his second week of service, let such a thing happen. The media boiled. The blogosphere was abuzz with speculations.

And Carpathia waited.

Military Intelligence Base, Fort Green, Kahanistan

"Boss! Check this out!" An intelligence officer had just downloaded the ACIA data in favour of supporting the Praetonians.

"What is it, Bergman?" asked General Igor Kaselev, Director of Military Intelligence. He pored over the documents, methodically scanning them.

"Easy!" Bergman replied. "Allanean Intellligence information I downloaded off the internet." He did not mention to Kaselev that he had actually been looking for a video of 2 Girls 1 Cup to email to his coworkers as an important memo.

"Allanean intelligence... that you... downloaded?" Kaselev seemed immediately suspicious as he made eye contact with the young man. "As in, from Morpheus?"

"Limewire, actually. I know you're always telling me not to believe everything I see on the internet, but we should follow every lead, shouldn't we?"

"Even the Allaneans are not foolish enough to post something so highly sensitive on a P.2.P. server," replied Kaselev in his usual deep monotone. "I would be very suspicious of it unless there is material of such moral outrage that someone felt obligated to come forward anonymously and expose it. I will have it forwarded to Analysis, and see what we make of it, but I want a detailed report by 2000 hours on how you came across it."

True, the Cottish and Necrontyr may have infiltrated Allanean intelligence... but they wouldn't disseminate it so widely if they had - unless they hoped to discredit Allanea. Kaselev wouldn't put much past the Cottish - but he knew fuck all about the Necrontyr.

24 hours later, however, Analysis had a detailed report on how the information had been acquired, and understood that it was a strongly pro-Praetonian report. A summary arrived at the desk of President Nadia Sklenova, who supported the protectorate only because it was a way of keeping the militarists in check and feeding the people, though ideologically she was opposed to the spread of rampant capitalism. She believed strongly that it was a Cottish disinformation scheme. Kaselev wasn't much different, but much of the Military Intelligence Division believed that there may be some truth to it - the reasoning was highly convincing and Cottish didn't equal bad or unreliable despite the mutual mistrust between the two nations. If not for Carpathia's reaction, however, virtually all of the intelligence community would have dismissed it as Cottish lies.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/allanea/Propaganda/father_kill.jpg

This was the poster hanging in Carpathia's chamber when he convened his aides again. In front of him were reports from the Kahanistani press – dozens of newspaper clippings, media reportings, and so forth.

There was a long silence during which Nicholae peered at the tips of his combat boots – orange this time. He waited until one of his assistants spoke first – he had no desire of wading through the pile of Kahanistani media this early in the morning.

"They seem to believe us.” - one of the aides (the one without the shirt) spoke first, eyeing the poster for a second. “What is this, Director Carpathia? It looks like something out of the African War.”

"Well, they were actually printed in vast amounts for the NATO-Commonwealth war, but that was over before we could distribute them. However, we are now distributing them across various Allanean military bases. Which, by the way, is the first thing I wish to talk to you about.” - he pointed to the other aide, a man who wore a full-body fursuit in the shape of a floppy eared dog.

"Yes, Director Carpathia?”

"I wish you to talk to the Army guys. Have them invite some handful of Kahanistani officers for cross-training with us – and make sure these posters are everywhere when they arrive. Of course... not more than a handful. Don't want it to make the news.”

"Very well, Director Carpathia. If you allow, I will immediately proceed with the mission.”

"Do so. As for you -” - he pointed to the shirtless man – “you must visit Senator Aristakos. I wish you to feel out what he thins about Sklenova. It cannot be that he's too fond of her. He may be our line to the nationalists.”

The shirtless man nodded. “Very well, Director Carpathia. If you allow...”

"No. I do not allow. I am not yet done. You must also feel out – without overtly asking, but I am sure you have your ways – how he feels about the report that we just misplaced. You understand of course what I mean.”

"If he believes it is genuinely the opinion of the Allanean intelligence community -”

"Which, interestingly, it is.”

"Quite. If he believes us, he may indeed back the transitions. In which case, your ingenious plan regarding Operation Glorious Failure...”

"...has been perfectly successful. Now you can go.”

Two hours later, the Sandstorm SUV carrying the Allanean intelligence official would screech to a halt outside Aristakos' house.

The Allanean intelligence official was greeted by a tall, somewhat overweight man of Mediterranean appearance aged in his late 30's. This was Senator Aristakis Nikolatos, who had masterminded a raid on Doomani territory in his effort to save General Marcellus Valens, one of the most esteemed generals in modern history.

Living in Allanea to hide from Doomani assassins he had been led to believe would kill him horribly, Nikolatos was closer to what was going on, unlike Kahanistanian Intelligence which would take some time to piece together most of the real facts.

"Hello," said the exiled chair of the Anti-Catholic Party. He invited the Allanean to enter, keeping a hand inside his pocket on his Hi-Point .45 ACP in case the man were a Doomani agent, of which he was paranoid.

"Greetings, Senator Nikolatos. I'm David Jenkins. Allanean Central Intelligence.” - he flashed a badge rather unnecessarily. - “I've been reassigned by Director Carpathia to your protective detail.”

As he sat down, the shirtless man's weaponry – a backup pistol in his left boot (a Glock-19C), and two Equinox pistols in his belt – made a strange clanking cound. “Tell me, Senator Nikolatos... how are things back in the homeland? I assume you do keep in touch with your party comrades.”

Nikolatos led the man to his chair and sat down across from him, never turning his back on him. A scantily dressed woman provided glasses and asked if the two men cared for anything to drink. Nikolatos asked for a beer and asked Jenkins if he cared for anything. After waiting for a reply, he answered the Allanean's questions.

"Back in the homeland... well, the anti-Praetonian movement is weakening. The Liberal Party is openly pro-Praetonian now. The Anti-Catholic Party used to support the protectorate but withdrew its support after Valens was murdered. Some are going back toward the Praetonians, but officially the party doesn't have a stated position on them."

He chugged about half of his beer and continued. "The only real opposition comes from the Nationalist Party these days... even the Communists support them because Sklenova does, and she probably only supports them because the militarists don't and she's opposed to going to war until we're stronger... not that she's a pacifist, but even she had to face up to the fetid reality of our weak position. For the record, I am not a militarist. I am a nationalist, a patriot, driven out of the Nationalist Party for my views on Catholics and fully believe in keeping out of useless wars."

“Me? I'll have a beer, too.” - Jenkins said. After the drink was brought, he spoke, seemingly on a separate issue.

“The world is rearranging itself, Senator. After the tensions between NATO and APOC ended, Praetonia left APOC in disgust at the... activities of the Doomani. They have become... more open to our view that the slavetraders are a threat to civilisation entire. And of course Maximus understand that. But not being much of a genius, he is unwrapping a cold war between himself and the Praetonians... wise men could see opportunity here, Senator.”

"Interesting," said Nikolatos. "I would be interested to know what incident finally turned Kingston against the Doomani Catholic Nazis. I would be... even more interested in exploiting this rift to explore the possibility of forging an alliance with Praetonia. Unfortunately, our military is... shall I say, not up to the task. It's not so much the individual soldier, who has extensive training in combat and whose equipment is easily the equal of the Doomani. I think the flaw is more a leadership issue... most of the ones who can motivate and lead our troops are crazy. Men like al-Ghazi, whom I hear has defected to you... how is he, by the way?"

“A very good question. His location is currently classified even beyond my reach. At any rate, if we suppose – just suppose, as a purely theoretical matter – that there were a strong person, a man capable of taking leadership away from Sklenova and towards a theoretical – purely theoretical, Senator! - Anti-Catholic, Nationalist, and possible even Liberal coalition, and take Kahanistan into the Pact, then the nation could expect... a variety of assistance from Allanea. And that person would find... would find that we might be willing to assist him in this endeavor. Much more extensively, perhaps, than we would openly admit.”

Nikolatos smiled. He understood that when Jenkins said it was theoretical he was completely full of shit. He also knew that he was being asked to take over his country, and support the Kingston Pact.

"So, you are saying that Kahanistan should join the Kingston Pact and adopt a more ardently capitalist policy," said the Senator. "But, simply pressuring her to resign, or God forbid, assassinating her, will simply hand power over to the Vice President... Julius Valens. At this point, it's better to have a weaker leader, rather than someone whose father was just burned on international television. She's the President, not a queen; if the majority of the legislature opposes her there is little she can do. What would Allanea do to support someone who wanted to take the leadership?"

"Oh... assassinating her is a bad idea... and would certainly turn it against whoever did it. It would do harm to whoever was perceived as the actor. As for what we would do... well, the first thing to do would be to send money and professionals. Oh, not mercenaries! But Allanea, as you know, is the land of elections. We vote for judges, for dogcatchers, for governors and state legislators. So there's plenty of people who make a living of organizing people's campaigns and helping them win. As for more... covert activity, that would remain to be seen, depending on the identity of this completely theoretical politician."

They want me to take over. Nikolatos had his standards, and he didn't want anything to do with assassins. "So... how would they go about overthrowing someone? Let's say there was someone who was interested in taking over... what would they have to do to get Allanean support?" And why are they supporting me? The domestic enemies of the Anti-Catholic Party often accused them of opposing religious freedom. The Party's counter-argument was generally along the lines of defending against a cult that wanted to convert or murder all non-Catholics.

“The main thing, of course, is that one would have to steer the nation into the Kingston Pact. This would be beneficial for us all. Naturally, this would mean that this purely hypothetical politician would have to generally support the various rights of men – but they would also have to maintain a hard anti-Doomani stance. As for Sklenova's... career options, imagine something were to... come up. New and previously unknown information about her views and moral character, for instance. Again, this is purely a speculation.”

"With Praetonia leaving APOC... and most of its allies following suit, breaking away from Doomingsland, I am more supportive of Praetonia than I would have been earlier," replied Nikolatos. "I support the rights of people. I don't support their right to practice a religion that commands them to murder anyone who won't convert to it and worship Mary. I don't think that any Allanean freeman would support someone's right to practice a religion that told them to kill innocent people, either. As for Sklenova's views... I really don't know her that well. We aren't on good terms. Ah..."

It dawned on him. They were going to smear her. "Any ideas? If we claim she likes to screw interns, it won't stir up the scandal it would in a lot of other countries... publishing embarrassing nude photos of her wouldn't damage her politically except in the more conservative circles who don't like her anyway. What are you thinking?"

"Well... it's a question of organization. Should a.... oh fuck this crap, we understand each other. If you can get the nationalists behind your candidacy, we need only to knock Sklenova down a few percentile points. Perhaps some rumours. You have conspiracy theorists in your nation, right? Persuade them SKlenova had a lover murdered. Or plotted the Doomani attacks on your country. It worked for Alex Jones."

"You overestimate the strength of the Anti-Catholic Party," said Nikolatos. "We are but five percent of the population, ten percent of the Senate. First, we have to get the Nationalists to support Praetonia, then we can worry about taking Sklenova's political rating down. To do that, we have to get them to see Praetonia as a genuine asset, rather than, as they put it... owning our nation. We have to remove this notion that they're a threat to our independence. Ideally, we'd withdraw from the Treaty of Haversham, but we'd need significant military strength to back that up. I am not exactly an electable candidate."

"You're not?" - the Allanean raised his eyebrows. - "I believe I should talk to the Liberty Committee, then." - he added cryptically.

"I have been labeled as a hatemonger by most of the nation," said Nikolatos. "But I am willing to support a more electable politician... one without ties to the Anti-Catholic Party... a Liberal, more likely, but a Nationalist if the party can be turned pro-Praetonian. What is this Liberty Committee?"

"An organization including the heads of Allanea's biggest companies, who pool and distribute donations for charities and political causes for the purpose of maintaining Allanea's political order. THey are patterned after the Liberty Comittee that opposed Roosevelt's New Deal. Now, here are the key points:"

"We must create a joint front of the Nationalists and the Anti-Catholics. We must ensure that the economic reform continues, otherwise the Praetonians will not accept you into the KGP. Thus, if the Liberals are part of the coalition, they must be weakened as well. Now you see why we donated so much money to promote laissez-faire liberalism in Kahanistan?"

Headquarters, Foreign Intelligence Beurau
Eeobroht, Cotland

"They did what now?"

The non-descript middle-aged man in the grey suit didn't quite believe what the young and rather attractive female junior analyst had just reported.

"The Allaneans leaked a top secret document on the web. We intercepted it through Sjekkpunkt, along with about half a billion other people throughout the world."

The analyst was referring to the Cottish open sources surveillance program, which sifted through billions of files on various P2P-filesharing networks every single day.

"Several of our sources within the ACIA have confirmed the authenticity of the leak. Their new director, a chap named Charpathia, managed to lose control over this information and he's only been on the job for two weeks."

"Sounds like just the man we wanted there in the first place. Makes it a helluva lot easier for us to get the information." The man, the Head of the Allanean Office commented as he took a sip of the boiling warm coffee. After letting the bitter liquid sooth his throat, he continued. "What was it you said the document said?"

"It's four hundred pages and we're still reading the fine print, but basically the document is addressed to a higher official within the ACIA, and explains in detail how the Allaneans can deal a devestating propaganda blow to the Doomanis."

"Interesting. What have they figured out?"

"That they're going to get the Kahanis to drop their nationalistic noise-making and get real cosy with Praetonia. It says in clear writing that if Kahaniland were to stop resisting the Protectorate with Praetonia and instead take full advantage of it, it would basically be the end of their misery and, with some time, the start of a new and prosperous Kahaniland with an economy and armed force capable of shedding itself of the Protectorate with Praetonia and once again being a sustainable and viable nation-state."

The section head drew a deep breath.

"So basically the Allaneans have figured out what just about everyone but Kahaniland has figured out?"

"In a nutshell, yes sir."

"Okay. So, taking this knowledge and adding it with what we know about Allanean foreign policies and relations, we can safely assume that it won't be long before this information has reached Kahaniland itself."

"What do you want us to do with the info sir?" The analyst asked.

"Write the normal report, classify it Yellow-3 and forward a copy to the Praetonians. Don't mention our sources within ACIA - the Praetonians have been getting uncomfortably cosy with the Allaneans lately. Just say that we got a hold of it and that the info is confirmed. Let the Praetonians deal with it as they wish. It's their protectorate after all."

"Understood sir." The analyst nodded. "Would there be anything else?"

The man smiled for the first time since she entered the room. "Not right now, but how about dinner?"

"Your place or mine?" The analyst added with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Let's try your place this time."

The analyst just smiled as she turned and left the office to type up the report, leaving the section head watching her leave before he focused on the work again and picked up the phone to report this to his superiors.

If he got as much work as possible done in the office hours, he could sleep in a little tommorow. God knew he wouldn't get much sleep tonight...

"Ahhh," said Nikolatos. He had no economic principles himself; most of his political career had been promoting nationalism and anti-Catholicism. He could care less what economic system ran as long as the economy was strong.

"So, how do they plan to turn the average nationalist... who sees Praetonia as the greatest threat to national sovereignty since the Doomani... over to believing that the Praetonian occupation they see is good for them?"

"The principle thing is to turn the attention of the public to the new enmity between the Allaneans, the PRaetonians, and the Doomani. Furtherr, the public must be led to understand that the Praetonian presence will be reduced if they can see tthat the Kahanistani government can be trusted not to confiscate their investments. Remember that Praetonia supported practically no measures in Kahanistan that don't also exist in Praetonia itself."

"I see," said Nikolatos. "The Anti-Catholic Party has a giant TV screen mounted on the north wall of its headquarters. Thousands gather at it from 1900 to 2000 hours every day to hear me speak. My equipment is upstairs. I will issue a statement supporting Praetonia, Allanea, and Kahanistan in... our common struggle against the Doomani Catholic Nazis. I will remind the people that the average citizen of Kahanistan is not treated any differently than the average Praetonian, and that Praetonia and any other country that is not our enemy should be allowed to trade with us without fear of losing its investments."

"Thank you, Sir. In the meanwhile, we will procure fifteen million dollars. We will then transfer the money - in cash - into KAhanistan, where it will be separated into small amounts and given to faithful Anti-catholic party activists- who will then donate it under their own name. Your men will surely provide us with the lists, right?"

Nikolatos seemed nervous. He was being asked to give someone he'd just met a list of party members' names? What for? So Manus Dei can assassinate them?

"Senator Romero knows some activists," said Nikolatos. "I... am, you will understand, wary of giving membership lists to someone I've just met." He didn't feel he was betraying his colleague - the Vice-Chair would obviously know activists. She would also have no objection to giving them Allanean funds to give to the Party under their own names, if the arrangement were genuine.

"I suppose you could have someone talk to her, but she's a little paranoid."