The Resi Corporation
27-04-2008, 08:24
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f195/wetsail/resilogo.jpg
ResiNews Reports
*pssssssht... shhhhht. xxxxbbbt... BLEEEEEP*
...there has been much speculation, but facts are few and far between - usually indicating a great deal of money has changed hands to keep the peace. For those of you just joining us, CEO Jai Resi, leader of our nation by virtue of heading the Resi Corporation, has promised to make an announcement today that will revolutionize our military, as well as those of nations with deep enough pockets. In fact, CEO Resi has promised an entire new subsidiary corporation to handle this new asset, as well as further assets in the same category. The announcement is scheduled to be within the minute, so we go to our correspondent Tricia McMillian at Fountain Square, where an enormous sound stage has been erected for the event. Tricia?
Thank you, Adam. As you can see, the sound stage is now complete and the CEO has arrived via armored motorcade, though we were not actually able to get any footage of him due to an unusually strong but entirely understandable police presence in the area. Wait... wait, yes, he's entering onto the stage! Change the feed!
Amidst a maelstrom of applause and cheering, its solidarity most easily attributed to the scowling officers with beanbag guns surrounding the throng, Jai approached the podium in the center of the stage with a beauty-queen wave and a smile. The cameras zoomed in to get the usual navel-up living-bust perspective used on all politicians. After a minute or two of accepting the crowd's praise, Jai signaled that they could maintain their calm without finding a wayward beanbag somehow lodged where their nose once was by lowering his hands a slight bit.
With a hasty sip of water, Jai spoke.
The soldier has always been imperiled on the battlefield - and for what? We send our best, our brightest, the fruit of our nation and our education system to die in some god-forsaken lands as tools of lesser politicians than I, all striving to achieve some small personal gain and willing to sacrifice the lives of our children to do it. I say no more!
The crowd erupts in cheers, genuine this time. No beanbags need be fired today.
As you all know, I am a father myself, and naturally would not want my only daughter to become a tool of the military and as such can sympathize with all of you in the corporation who feel as I do. Therefore, effective today, our standing military will be replaced! Those currently enlisted will become our national guard, the largest held by any nation - and I am here today to introduce you to their standing-military replacements!
The lights dimmed. With a hiss, fog poured out over the stage in what would later be reviewed as an incredibly tacky effect, yet entirely fitting with Jai's cult of personality. A loud BOOM issued from the speakers, startling spectators and cops alike, one from the latter category accidentally firing a beanbag skyward, eventually coming down and decking an arbitrary bystander.
The same speakers that issued the boom produced a soft soothing techno, which was sadly no comfort to the slightly concussed civilian in the front row. Laser lights played over the stage - slowly, a platform was raised through the artificial fog. It was pitch black, and the onlookers were barely able to discern a humanoid figure silhouetted in its center. With a click, the platform stopped rising - the figure stood a good six and a half feet.
With another BOOM, four spotlights attached to the platform lit, immersing the figure in the center in bright lights from all angles.
Jai, as was his prerogative, spoke.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the R-Bot v1.0!
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f195/wetsail/robotics.jpg
Waiting for the gasps of awe to subside, Jai continued.
These R-Bots are now our standing military, and a fine fighting force they will be. Able to operate any weapon, drive any vehicle, do anything our sons and daughters would do in the field of battle, these triumphs of machine are now the backbone of the corporation's military might. Armed standard with two laser rifles, our new soldiers are able to distinguish threats from non-threats, to save innocents as well as strike down those who oppose our might. They can run faster, see clearer, shoot straighter, and act with more precision than any human soldier could ever hope to - even, he added with a twinkle in his eye that would be more at home in an infomercial, my own dear daughter.
Somewhere in the audience, Sara Resi sighed. She hated being used as a selling point for her father's products. Such corporate bullshit.
With these robots I'm announcing the founding of another powerful subsidiary corporation to the Resi Corporation family - ResiCorp Robotics, or RCR. We look forward to this collection of our brightest minds in robotics and programming giving us more amazing products such as this in the future. Thank you, and goodnight.
Applause, honest and genuine. Though the public had seen no trails of these robots, anything that'd bring their sons and daughters home was a smashing success in their hearts.
TL;DR? Here are the stats and price!
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f195/wetsail/rbot1.jpg
R-Bots v1.0
Size: 2'x1'x6.5'
Weight: 250 pounds
Composition: Titanium, iron, Kevlar, various other metals and plastics
Methods of control: Fully autonomous; can be given orders en-masse, in small groups, or individually via remote
Weapons: Dual arm-mounted continuous-fire laser rifles, whatever you give them
Power Source: StarCore - essentially a tiny sun superfusion battery inside each unit
Power Duration: ~100 years. No StarCores created have yet expired, but this is the estimate.
Cost per Unit: $80,000 NSD
ResiNews Reports
*pssssssht... shhhhht. xxxxbbbt... BLEEEEEP*
...there has been much speculation, but facts are few and far between - usually indicating a great deal of money has changed hands to keep the peace. For those of you just joining us, CEO Jai Resi, leader of our nation by virtue of heading the Resi Corporation, has promised to make an announcement today that will revolutionize our military, as well as those of nations with deep enough pockets. In fact, CEO Resi has promised an entire new subsidiary corporation to handle this new asset, as well as further assets in the same category. The announcement is scheduled to be within the minute, so we go to our correspondent Tricia McMillian at Fountain Square, where an enormous sound stage has been erected for the event. Tricia?
Thank you, Adam. As you can see, the sound stage is now complete and the CEO has arrived via armored motorcade, though we were not actually able to get any footage of him due to an unusually strong but entirely understandable police presence in the area. Wait... wait, yes, he's entering onto the stage! Change the feed!
Amidst a maelstrom of applause and cheering, its solidarity most easily attributed to the scowling officers with beanbag guns surrounding the throng, Jai approached the podium in the center of the stage with a beauty-queen wave and a smile. The cameras zoomed in to get the usual navel-up living-bust perspective used on all politicians. After a minute or two of accepting the crowd's praise, Jai signaled that they could maintain their calm without finding a wayward beanbag somehow lodged where their nose once was by lowering his hands a slight bit.
With a hasty sip of water, Jai spoke.
The soldier has always been imperiled on the battlefield - and for what? We send our best, our brightest, the fruit of our nation and our education system to die in some god-forsaken lands as tools of lesser politicians than I, all striving to achieve some small personal gain and willing to sacrifice the lives of our children to do it. I say no more!
The crowd erupts in cheers, genuine this time. No beanbags need be fired today.
As you all know, I am a father myself, and naturally would not want my only daughter to become a tool of the military and as such can sympathize with all of you in the corporation who feel as I do. Therefore, effective today, our standing military will be replaced! Those currently enlisted will become our national guard, the largest held by any nation - and I am here today to introduce you to their standing-military replacements!
The lights dimmed. With a hiss, fog poured out over the stage in what would later be reviewed as an incredibly tacky effect, yet entirely fitting with Jai's cult of personality. A loud BOOM issued from the speakers, startling spectators and cops alike, one from the latter category accidentally firing a beanbag skyward, eventually coming down and decking an arbitrary bystander.
The same speakers that issued the boom produced a soft soothing techno, which was sadly no comfort to the slightly concussed civilian in the front row. Laser lights played over the stage - slowly, a platform was raised through the artificial fog. It was pitch black, and the onlookers were barely able to discern a humanoid figure silhouetted in its center. With a click, the platform stopped rising - the figure stood a good six and a half feet.
With another BOOM, four spotlights attached to the platform lit, immersing the figure in the center in bright lights from all angles.
Jai, as was his prerogative, spoke.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the R-Bot v1.0!
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f195/wetsail/robotics.jpg
Waiting for the gasps of awe to subside, Jai continued.
These R-Bots are now our standing military, and a fine fighting force they will be. Able to operate any weapon, drive any vehicle, do anything our sons and daughters would do in the field of battle, these triumphs of machine are now the backbone of the corporation's military might. Armed standard with two laser rifles, our new soldiers are able to distinguish threats from non-threats, to save innocents as well as strike down those who oppose our might. They can run faster, see clearer, shoot straighter, and act with more precision than any human soldier could ever hope to - even, he added with a twinkle in his eye that would be more at home in an infomercial, my own dear daughter.
Somewhere in the audience, Sara Resi sighed. She hated being used as a selling point for her father's products. Such corporate bullshit.
With these robots I'm announcing the founding of another powerful subsidiary corporation to the Resi Corporation family - ResiCorp Robotics, or RCR. We look forward to this collection of our brightest minds in robotics and programming giving us more amazing products such as this in the future. Thank you, and goodnight.
Applause, honest and genuine. Though the public had seen no trails of these robots, anything that'd bring their sons and daughters home was a smashing success in their hearts.
TL;DR? Here are the stats and price!
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f195/wetsail/rbot1.jpg
R-Bots v1.0
Size: 2'x1'x6.5'
Weight: 250 pounds
Composition: Titanium, iron, Kevlar, various other metals and plastics
Methods of control: Fully autonomous; can be given orders en-masse, in small groups, or individually via remote
Weapons: Dual arm-mounted continuous-fire laser rifles, whatever you give them
Power Source: StarCore - essentially a tiny sun superfusion battery inside each unit
Power Duration: ~100 years. No StarCores created have yet expired, but this is the estimate.
Cost per Unit: $80,000 NSD