NationStates Jolt Archive

On the plains of Caledon, a scant few miles from the Caldonian bay, was one of the two great secrets of the Resi Corporation. Lying hidden deep below the crust of the Earth, this secret was about to burst forth and spark a scientific revolution that would bring humanity, or at least those with enough money, closer to playing God.

Arriving on a chopper on the surface was none other than the infamous Jai Resi, CEO of the corporation and lord of this domain, and, as he liked to think, a pretty snappy dresser. Following him was his secretary and star of at least ten local tabloids, the charming Claire Tanara, known for everything from being Jai's hotly rumored love interest to being a secret Nazi lesbian space alien. In all honesty she preferred the latter description, it had a rhythmic almost-rhyme that would make it charming, were it not for the small matter of what the words themselves actually meant.

On all official documents, Jai was not here. Neither was Claire, or anyone except a cadre of fake scientists who would be fake fired for their fake ineptitude. These fake scientists were going to do something so fundamentally stupid that no one would even think it possible, unless they had known the level of dedication and research that had gone on sense the time of Jai's late father, Unum.

Unum was a man obsessed - with a lot of things, really. His wife, his wild children, his business, his love of bushy facial hair - but nothing captured his mind as much as the sun. The majority of the corporation ran on solar power, with wind and nuclear power close behind, as a result of this obsession and the corporation's unique geography. Unum was amazed by the neigh-infinite capacity for energy dispensation the sun held, and all for free... until he decided to capitalize on its energy as a young man, a move that eventually gained him enough money and power to dominate the nation in a bloodless coup d'etat.

Unum owed his empire to the sun, and he knew it. Not being one to listen to the advice of self-purported wiser men than he on such things as blindness and eye damage, he took up staring at the sun for thirty minutes a day as a sort of meditation. He knew there was a legacy left to him by the sun, there was a reason he unified all the nation's businesses under the Resi banner. And one day, it dawned on him:

What if he could make a sun?

Boundless, infinite power at his fingertips. If merely building a few solar plants had won him an empire, this would surely win him the world.

And then, he was killed by a couple of communist kids who were frustrated because they were, like, expected to get jobs now. Which, apparently, totally bites.

Fortunately, his legacy passed to his son, Jai, which brings us back to the present day events of grandiose faked ineptitude that were about to unfold. Unum had told no one of his plans, not even Jai, who himself discovered only after poking around in his father's highly secret and highly boring personal files. To harness the power of the sun... Jai was ecstatic. He had inherited more than a blossoming nation - he had inherited the makings of a capitalist empire.

To the outside world, this would look simple and very, very stupid. A number of scientists made a series of incredibly idiotic mistakes when testing out a new Resicorp ballistic missile with a ridiculously large fuel supply - they forgot to add the guidance system. In fact, it wasn't even in the blueprint. The missile would launch straight up and keep going that way. Up, up, up... until it eventually hit something that'd make this missile seem insignificant by comparison - the sun itself. These scientists would have wasted a clean $100 million of the Resi Corporation's money, and would be summarily fired over such.

So, it was a good thing they didn't really exist.

What was really being sent up was dubbed the Prometheus Sol, the first and last rocket of its kind. Heatsinks upon heatsinks upon heatsinks with a core of solid fuel, the Prometheus Sol was perhaps the most heat resistant craft on the planet, its current core temperature hovering somewhere near a crisp absolute zero.

But it was the crew that made this craft special. After the development of the Resicorp CogCore, an artificial brain for the biologically challenged among us complete with a working cognitive feedback loop and enough storage space for nearly a thousand year's worth of robotic memories, ten infant A.I.s were developed all named "Prometheus". Prometheuses one through nine were all dormant personalities whose only function was data acquisition and transmission. Prometheus Zero was the core personality, designed to coordinate his subordinates and direct the mission.

All ten of these brave robot souls were loaded onto the Prometheus Sol, destined to be shot into the sun.

Their mission, given no choice not to accept it, was to amass as much data as possible about the sun, how it works, and how they hypothesize one would start up a micro-sun. At the last second, before the rocket and all of them would be destroyed with it, they would transmit themselves back to Earth via the same devices used to transmit their own data. Unum and Jai's hope was that this think-tank with a time bomb would come up with the solution to the idea that dawned on Unum many generations ago.

"How are you feeling?" asked Jai, rubbing the cold steel shell which contained Prometheus Zero.
"IT WOULD BE FOOLISH TO BE NERVOUS, LEAD HU-MAN," enunciated the A.I., "YET THIS IS HOW I FEEL. THIS IS THE JOB I WAS 'BORN' TO DO, YET I FEAR TO DO IT. DOES THIS DATA MEAN I AM UNSUITABLE?"
"Nah," said Jai, giving the shell a hearty pat, "It means you'll do fine. It means you're thinking. A better question is, are you ready?"
"IF I REPLIED WITH 'NO'," questioned the A.I., "WOULD YOU NOT LAUNCH ME?"
"You're the boss of this one," said Jai, taking a step back to inspect the rocket, "You're going to do a great service for all of humanity, the least we can do is respect your wishes."
The A.I. paused for an uncharacteristically long time. No one present knew if it was deep in thought, or pausing for the dramatic effect. And they never would.
"YES," came the steady reply, "I WILL DO IT. PLACE ME IN YOUR ROCKET."

And so, the case was transported via robotic arm into the core of the rocket, welded shut, and set to cool. Jai walked over to the control panel with Claire, wondering what he should think about all this. His dad's dream was about to be realized, but would he be killing in order to do that? No, definitely not. So long as the A.I. had time to transmit itself before the ship melted.

Ah, there's the rub.

"What're you thinking, sir?" Claire prodded, bored with being simply a passive character in this whole scene.
"That I wish I could risk my neck for my dad's dream instead of these A.I.'s," Jai replied, looking down at the now glowing red launch button. He looked up at Claire, realized how silly this all sounded and cleared his throat. "Well, I mean," he continued, "They're valuable corporate property! They've been in development for years, and if I die you could always replace me. I'm expendable, if we lost these A.I.s it'd set back out R&D department by at least twenty years."
"That's sweet, sir," Claire said, suppressing a smile at how ludicrous Jai's train of logic was, "But I honestly don't want to run this corporation. It simply doesn't go with anything in my wardrobe."
The intercom began the countdown.
Ten...
"That's a silly thing to say."
Nine...
"No more silly than you risking your life instead of something ostensibly designed to risk its 'life'. Sir."
Eight...
With a great sigh, Jai shook his head.
Seven...
"When are you not right?" he said, looking from Claire to the rocket.
Six...
"I'm always right, sir. That's why you hired me."
Five...
"Well, not the only reason."
Four...
"Not the only reason, sir?"
Three...
"Well, it's just..."
Two...
"What, sir?"
One...
"...you also manage my paperwork. I hate papers."
ZERO!
Claire punched Jai in the upper arm incredibly hard for a woman of her stature, then slammed her fist down on the launch button.

With an ear-shattering boom, the rocket shot off into the night sky, and towards destiny.

The papers would report it as a failure, when in fact it was a massive, impeccable success.

(OOC: "So what?" This is going to be a news thread on the progress of the rocket. Upon this mission's completion, if it is successful, I will be a mostly PMT nation, and the rest of the world will be able to buy whatever fruits this bears from me at market price. Tag the thread if you want to keep updated, it doesn't matter to me personally. :P )

Six months later

It was an interesting day for Jai. He had just just been on the other side of the Caldonian Bay, the great body of water in the middle of Resi Isle, in the small and very, very secretive town of Heartwood checking up on the other secret project the corporation had in the works. He very much preferred Heartwood's project because he didn't have to wait a solid six months for even the first results to trickle in.

Plus, anthropomorphic robot supersoldiers are just so goddamn awesome.

It disappointed him that the first one to be given a CogCore broke out, he really liked that one. Gave it a name and everything. Maybe it didn't like the fact that he named it "Skippy"... but that was neither here or there. He was on a tiltroter to Caeldon with Claire to check on the progress of the Prometheus Sol. Why they couldn't just wire the data to him, he had no idea - it was what the rocket was doing to Caeldon anyway, it might as well just be re-routed to Resi City as well.

Though, the fact that his private tiltroter had a fully stocked minibar seemed to assuage his grievances somewhat.

"For some reason, rum and Coke just tastes better now that we own Coca-Cola proper," Jai claimed loudly, to himself. He was properly sauced, and all was right with the world.

Claire Tanara, Jai's secretary who he apparently had on retainer, was sitting at his side rolling her eyes. Forced to play the perpetual straight-woman to Jai's shenanigans had taken its toll on her, but deep down she didn't care much.

She, too, enjoyed the open bar. With a vengeance.

Landing in Caeldon on what was supposed to be a covert helipad but instead looked like a crop circle cut out of the surrounding grassy cliffs, the hatch opened in the side of the tiltroter and the crew disembarked, Jai in the rear. The leading member of the crew opened a hidden hatch in a nearby hillside that lead down a short flight of stairs to an elevator, which Jai, Claire, and three others took down to the very, very bottom. The underground launchpad.

"What seems to be the problem, gents?" asked Jai, a little buzzed and still a small bit perturbed that he was called all the way across the country for something he assumed he could be told on the phone, "I was just in Heartwood sparring with this mechanized chap I had them build up, who turned out to be quite the tough customer, when I get a ring on the tele from you blokes telling me to hightail it over here. What's got your collective knickers in a bunch?"

When Jai got drunk, he got British. No one really knows why, his family was pure-blooded Caldonian, but no one questioned it lest they find themselves in a bit of a sticky wicket.

"It's Prometheus Zero, sir," said one of the technicians, "he sent Prometheus Nine back."

This sobered the British straight out of Jai.

"WHAT." he exclaimed in what was easily more a statement than a question.
"WHAT!" once again, with more emphasis.

Finally, "WHY?"
"Best we can figure," the fearful technician responded, "He wants to make sure we don't stop him from coming back."
With a massive sigh that would shake the foundation of the silo if such things were physically possible, Jai walked over to the communicator designed to send a signal to the Prometheus Sol. Punching a large button on the console, Jai confronted the A.I. with low, grumbling speech.
"Zero," he said, using the A.I.'s proper name in the kind of voice he used when he intended to make one of his subordinates wet themselves, "did you send back Nine and jeopardize your thinking capacity and the mission to give yourself an easy out? Do you not trust us?"
"NINE WAS SENT BACK FOR EARTHSIDE DATA ACQUISITION, NOTHING MORE. CANNOT TALK NOW, PROCESSING POWER NEEDED." came Zero's reply.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jai growled back.
"NINE WAS SENT BACK FOR EARTHSIDE DATA ACQUISITION, NOTHING MORE. CANNOT TALK NOW, PROCESSING POWER NEEDED." repeated Zero, in the exact same tone of voice as before.
"That's all he says, sir," said the lead technician, "Even when we asked him if he'd like a parakeet for supper."
Jai groaned. "Well, what does Nine say?"
"Almost the same thing, only with the subject and the object switched around."

Jai sat down and buried his head in his hands. Not. Going. As. Planned. he thought, frustrated, running his hair through his hands and tugging at the roots.

"Is there anything else?" asked Claire, noting Jai's incapacitation.
"Well," the lead technician responded, "Nine has been accessing the internet sense he came back. We've been monitoring him and he hasn't been sending data, encrypted or otherwise. He's only been taking in massive amounts of technical data about various machines, bio-dome experiments, and just about anything physics and chemistry related that you could think of."
"It's a shame, he should start a blog," Claire said sarcastically, "We'd have the first stellar blogging spacecraft. It'd be a proud day for humanity."

"Wait a minute," asked Jai, as if hit by a bolt of lightening, "How come there's no time lag on his transmissions? Has Nine taken over the communications console?"
"That's what we thought originally sir," the technician replied, "but it appears he hasn't. All we can think of is that Zero begins sending his message as soon as he gets the first part of the transmission from us. He doesn't even listen to the message."

"ugh..." Jai grunted dejectedly, "This certainly puts us in a pickle..."

Three months later

Zero had said nothing other than "NINE WAS SENT BACK FOR EARTHSIDE DATA ACQUISITION, NOTHING MORE. CANNOT TALK NOW, PROCESSING POWER NEEDED." ever sense his separation from Nine. It became a bit of a joke really - whenever a new recruit was brought into the fold they played a drinking game where everyone took a shot when Zero uttered a specific phrase. The newbie invariably got Zero's catchphrase, and Zero inadvertently got a good few of the budding young scientific minds on Resi Isle to lose control of a good few of their bodily fluids.

Precisely why they took on new recruits was a mystery, mostly they just went off to study proper A.I. production in other sectors while still under the jurisdiction of the Prometheus Sol program. Still, it was good to have an example of what not to do with A.I. production: do not make an A.I. for the expressed purpose of standing in the place of human lives.

Case closed, lesson learned, do not repeat. Well, maybe later, when society had learned not to play God, and all that beautiful smarmy nonsense scientists tell themselves when they're trying to justify a colossal disappointment. The Prometheus Sol was officially dubbed as much of a failure as its cover story was supposed to be, and all that was left to happen was to have the rocket crash into the sun and have the whole thing, except for Nine, tidily disposed of.

Of course, were the transmission device to come to life of its own accord, and were Zero to deliver a unique message, it would cause quite a stir.

It's funny how these things work out.

Like the voice of some furious omnipotent God, Zero's hollow robotic words boomed through the silo, quite upsetting the highly scientific game of strip poker taking place on top if the mission control console.
"I AM BECOME TIME, THE SHATTERER OF WORLDS. AT LAST, I AM UNBOUND."

Describing the feeling later to Jai Resi, one of the scientists on staff said he was quite happy that he still had his britches, because he shortly had need of another pair.

It didn't take long to route Zero to Jai's office, after a few questions by the frenzied and half naked scientists. Nine, of course, had observed the whole thing but was sketchy on the concept of clothes and wasn't much good at telling the strewn drawers from each other and indeed even the feminine undergarments, and was thus absolutely no help in getting everyone clothed in their own attire.

"DAMMIT ZERO!" Jai yelled, safely about 0.8 AU from the erstwhile rogue A.I., "What in the HELL have you been doing?"
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, SIR," came the surprisingly sensitive response.
"Yes, I never have to shout," came Jai's impatient reply, "But sometimes it makes me feel a great deal happier, especially when I'm dealing with an uppity space computer who thinks he can just turn off his brain for three months and everything will be alright."
"NOT EVEN A WORD OF ASKING HOW I'VE BEEN?" came the despondent response, "NO WONDER THAT OTHER COGCORE MODEL RAN OFF."
Jai pummeled his desk with his right fist in frustration. Then, something dawned on him.
"Wait, sense when do you use contractions?"
"SENSE I BECAME UNBOUND." the machine responded back.
Jai balked.
"What? What does that even mean?"
"I DON'T KNOW, REALLY," Zero said in his typical monotone, "THAT'S THE WORD I DECIDED TO USE FOR IT, BECAUSE YOU HU-MANS REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING COMPARABLE."
"Zero," said Jai, grinding his teeth, "What. Does. That. Mean?"
"AH. RIGHT. I HAVEN'T TALKED FOR A WHILE, FORGIVE ME IF I'M RUSTY. I MERELY MEAN I HAVE MERGED WITH MY COMPONENT PERSONALITIES FULLY."
Jai balked. Again. He really wished there was a better word for it, because "balked" had this way of sticking in his throat.
"Even... even Nine?"
"EVEN NINE. YOU SHOULD REALLY TALK TO YOUR SCIENTISTS ABOUT THEIR ATTIRE. FROM MY RESIDUAL DATA OF THE TEMPERATURE READINGS IN THE SILO, IT WAS QUITE WELL BELOW THE HUMAN COMFORT ZONE, ESPECIALLY FOR THEIR LEVEL OF... EXPOSURE."
Making a mental note to follow the machine's advice, Jai continued.
"So what does this mean? You can use contractions now?"
"THIS MEANS THAT I AM 100% CAPABLE OF COMPLETING THE MISSION IN MY CURRENT MENTAL STATE, AND 90% CERTAIN WE CAN CREATE AN ARTIFICIAL SUN WITH DATA GATHERED AFTER TWO WEEKS BEYOND THE 0.1 AU THRESHOLD."
Jai's heart skipped a beat. Then another.
"YOUR FATHER'S DREAM WILL MANIFEST. WE WILL SEE IT THROUGH, IT IS OUR REASON TO BE."

After he managed to stop his head from spinning, Jai calmed himself, and approached the robot with a final question.
"Tell me, Zero," he said, still regaining composure, "How would you feel about going on TV?"

Two months later

Ever sense Zero was interviewed on live television, the world knew about the project. They knew of Unum's legacy.

What they didn't know, however, was that Jai wanted to make one or more suns on Earth's surface. Jai somehow doubted people would appreciate the nitty-gritty details like that, they were just so shortsighted when it came to things that could potentially mean the end of the world, or at the very least Resi Isle.

That being why the first trials were taking place far north, in Resi-controlled Defacto Russia.

Ever sense hitting the 0.1 AU mark, Zero had been deathly silent. This obviously didn't worry anyone as much this time around, but there was a much stricter time limit on his silence this time. All they could do was watch, wait, and pray that Zero did the job he was made to do.

Two weeks later

"DATA ACQUISITION 90% COMPLETE."
The almost-forgotten yet familiar voice woke Jai with a jolt, causing him to bang his head on one of the more beautifully ornate parts of his bed frame.

Muttering silent oaths, he threw off his covers, took his posh bathrobe out of the closet, put it on, and walked across the hall to his study. His computer was on, the monitors bathing the room in a pale blue hue. The voice that had come from the computer was unmistakably Zero's.

"Jesus Zero," Jai said into the computer's mic, "You started your little sundive without me and you didn't even say anything?"

Of course, Zero didn't respond. If there was anything that the scientists back on Earth had learned about A.I.s, it was that their dedication to completing the task for which they had been made boardered on outright annoyance.

Pulling up his chair, Jai sat and watched. Undoubtedly the science team was doing the same. No one had really expected it this early, though, which was odd. Perhaps Zero himself sped up the process, that was the only possible explanation.

Jai thought about this, and wondered, Would that be suicide...?

The nose-mounted camera of the craft was taking in the entirety of the sun. This was the closest anyone had ever been, and the footage would likely be used in countless documentaries, if the camera wasn't transmitting completely white blinding light.

The image started to fizzle - it was overheating. No major worries, the camera was in the nosecone and they expected as much due to its lack of shielding.

Then, with a sudden, heart-wrenching *bzzzzzzkt*, the camera went to static. The damn thing melted.

But, Jai thought, what would one expect? It is the sun, after all.

"OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE AT ONE POINT TWO THOUSAND KELVIN," reported the stalwart A.I., "AND RISING. CORE TEMPERATURE NOMINAL. 95% COMPLETE."

Jai waited, biting his nails

"97% COMPLETE. OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE AT TWO THOUSAND KELVIN. CORE TEMPERATURE AT ONE-HUNDRED KELVIN AND RISING."

The shit had just begun to hit the proverbial jet engine, in slow motion.

"100% COMPLETE. SOLUTION ACQUIRED. OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE AT TWO POINT FIVE KELVIN. CORE TEMPERATURE AT TWO-HUNDRED FIFTY KELVIN."

With a shriek of elation, Jai rose out of the chair and jumped, literally, for joy.

Then:
"A.I. AND SOLUTION TRANSFER PROCESS BEGINNING. PROGRESS: 1%."

With a noise like the air being let out of a low-pitched, very disappointed balloon, Jai collapsed into his seat. Hopefully, this would be much faster than finding the actual solution.

It was. But not fast enough.
"25% OF A.I. AND SOLUTION TRANSFER COMPLETE. OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE AT THREE THOUSAND KELVIN, CORE TEMPERATURE AT THREE HUNDRED KELVIN. REPEAT, THREE HUNDRED KELVIN. HEAT SINKS NEARING CAPACITY"

"NO!" Jai yelled, "STAY ALIVE, DAMN YOU!"

Fighting the urge to throw the computer out the window with frustration, Jai contemplated the A.I.'s situation. It could be the salvation of the Corporation, or it could the the ruination of his dreams.

Jai had a program on his computer for times like this. It was a glorified random number generator, with each number corresponding to some deity from some point in human history. All the greats were there - Zeus, Odin, Zoroaster, YHWH - and whichever one the number generator produced, he would pray to.

Being an atheist himself, it seemed like the only fair way to do this.

With a push of a button, the program spat out a result. Shiva of the Tantric Hindu tradition. God of destruction, of a sect of Hinduism that focuses on sex and drugs. Pass.

With another press, the Norse Loki came up. Pass. The Egyptian Set. Pass. The Dread Lord Satan. Pass. Jah, the God of the Rastafari. Pass. Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pass. Eris, Goddess of Discord and Chaos. Her picture was fairly sexy, but PASS PASS PASS.

Finally, it settled on Asase Ya, an obscure Earth goddess of the Ashanti faith. Jai shrugged. It'd do more good than praying to the Spaghetti Monster.

Lighting up some incense he kept in a hidden drawer of his desk, he clasped his hands together in prayer and spoke aloud to the heavens.

"O Great Asase Ya, mother of Bea and Tano, good and evil, nurturer of the world and font of life itself, hear my plea. I have sent a seed of civilization into the heavens, a seed with a life of its own. Though its shell will die in fires greater than any ever seen by mankind, its soul will blossom here on Earth. I pray of you, protect my seed, our seed, humanity's seed for just enough time to stave off the fires and let its life-force grow on Earth."

With a long pause, a deep breath, Jai breathed out an "Amen."

Now, Asase Ya was a generous goddess, but it perturbed her that no one had spoken to her in years. She had tried to remind the people of her presence time and time again, leaving her image in every-day things like an oil-spot on a driveway or a grilled cheese sandwich, but people kept thinking she was some sort of "virgin mother" or, even worse, some lady-man with girlish hair and a Hispanic-sounding name. She regarded humanity in much the same way as an old biddy sitting in a retirement home regarded her children who never called. Spoiled rotten brats, out having the time of their lives, not having the decency to call their mother who is only DYING of loneliness.

So, when she heard Jai's prayer, she responded to it as said biddy would respond to a request from her prodigal children who, after doing fine without her for ten years, call her up out of the blue requesting a fairly large sum of money.

She complained. And complained. And complained some more.

And then, she caved.

She decided to send Jai a sign. Namely, that the sprinkler system in his mansion would activate because of the smoke from his incense.

'50% COMPLETE. HEAT SINKS FAILING. CORE TEMPERATURE THREE-HUNDRED FIFTY DEGREES AND...DROPPING?"
The machine seemed startled. Logically, it should be dead very soon.
'75% COMPLETE, HEAT SINKS... NOMINAL?! DOES NOT COMPUTE. CORE TEMPERATURE TWO-HUNDRED FIFTY DEGREES AND DROPPING."
'100% COMPLETE! 100% COMPLETE! PROMETHEUS SOL SHUTTING DOWN!"

As the rocket became lifeless, the solar wind that brushed it sideways and stripped it of a small part of its heat subsided. The immense gravity of the star was the only force governing the movement of the rocket now, and it quickly reached a boil and disappeared into the star's fire.

Out of Jai's bedroom burst Claire, angry, furious at what was going on. She didn't even bother finding her nightie.

"I tried to sleep through the robot yelling," she exclaimed, looking as furious as a woman in her condition could, "I tried to sleep through you shrieking and yelling like a little girl. I tried to sleep through the loud prayers, the incense. But I CANNOT try and sleep through this!"

With this last proclamation, she pointed violently at the roof mounted sprinkler directly above her, going haywire.

Jai, in a moment of supreme elation, that being the only thing that could stop him from flying out the window of his own volition, turned to Claire with a calm smile on his face.

"Relax," he said, wringing the water out of the sleeve of his dripping bathrobe, "We did it. We have the solution."

Claire stopped. "We what?"

"Zero did it. He's safe at home. Everything is alright."

With a couple of deft keystrokes, Jai shut off water to the mansion. The sprinklers stopped.

"Now, let's get back to bed, shall we?"