NationStates Jolt Archive

Love em? hate em? Sell em? We are requesting specailist from around the world to debate the context of these interesting creatures and their purpose on our dear earth. I am your host, Chad Foreal, welcome a Mokastana News Network Special report, FURRIES: What the fuck?


OOC: I figure since the furry wars are heating up we need news reports and jerry springer style debates!

HAVE FUN!

ohh and this is massively opened!

"Well, as such things, clearly do not exist, and if they do, they could only be the result of some horrid medical experiment, not that we are saying that they do, just that if they did, they would be, and if they did, our stance would be to 'put them out of they're misery,' but anyway, they don't exist. This is just a case of some kids getting over obsessed with a TV show, that they dress up like the characters, and make up a language, based on one used in the show, that really didn't ever exist, except for a few words in a TV show, until some group of crazed fans got together and made it up, based on those few words. So it is clear, these people are mentally disturbed, unless they are rich, then they are just eccentric. At least that's our stance," said Billy-Joe-Bob Hucky, who called into the show from the Beatusian hill country.

Well I heard that they're frickin Mutants! Or some sort of aliens. And if you say they don't exist, I will have to beg to differ, I've seen them, in fact there's one that comes into town about once a week to buy food, one of them, catgirls or whatnot. All those basement dwelling nerds love her but she blows them off everytime, funny as hell. For months I thought she was a faker until some guy got the balls to try and pull the tail off. She screamed like a banchee and then turned and attacked him in revenge, I've never seen fingernails do that, nearly scratched his eyes out! *Breathe* But then just like that she went back to normal just like it never happened... Weird things, but you don't want to mess with em! James R. Brown

-Rural Town of Borton Northwestern Mountains of TLA.

"Such disgusting creatures are clearly not supposed to survive alongside humanity," speaks Er's Ommt, concerned parent from the Holy Empire of Tsaphiel. "They must simply be a test from the God Emperor himself. They must be eradicated at all costs to please the almighty."

"I can't believe the world these days, treating horrific mutant offspring of bestiality as if they were some sort of protected race of people! Why, in my day we would have stuck em on a few planks of wood and floated those freaks outta the country, and now what do they want, the vote or some such?!" A geriatric old man by the name of Fargas Gemeo retorts, as he adjusts his thick-rimmed glasses, "That just ain't right! I mean, what next? Will we have to stop using chimps in medical testing just because they can finger paint? Don't get me started on parrots!"

"Well callers are sure against these furries, however I must say as odd and different they are no one seems to be defending them. Come on people, lets get some athro-people supporters to call in, or even come into the studio. This is Chad Foreal, SPEAK!"

"Well, here in Binaria, them furries are burned at the stake. This of course is wrong and horrific. We as a people ar going soft."

"Hello dear sir. It is my understanding, as Pope of Valtican City and Her Church, that furries should be eradicated at all costs. Such a thing as my ultimatum was the peaceful way of going about things but no one ever listens to an old weary Pope. They say I am senile but the senile ones are the ones who support this Satanic, yiffing, blasphemous, dsigusting creatures. They are not allowed in the Valtican and despite the fact this is a great tourist attraction we still have those labs all of the high tech nations have. We may have technology from the 70's but it would work in a war. There are projects we are commencing in foreign nations where we attempt to take off their disgusting fox tails and ears."

- Pope Peter-Thomas Aquantais of The Holy Church of the Valtican

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"They are disgusting, ugly, stupid, freak creatures that pollute the fancy and intelligent populace of Greston. They are disgusting to look at and they are horrid animals/human beings, but do to human rights laws we cannot do anything to them but let them become citizens. So what I really mean is that they are good prostitutes and I hear word that they give good blow jobs." - President John Batther speaking out about furries

Professor Drake Mallard walked into the studio. "Hello Chad, I am professor Drake Mallard," he said, "and I have been studying Furry sightings in the Beatus, for many years now, and I would like to share my research with you and your, um... viewers? or are they listeners? I'm not quite sure what kind of station this is?"

I would like to draw to your attention that Nekos and Kitsune are humanoid beings.

Yes humanoid. Not satanic, blasphemous or disgusting creatures and they have as much right to human rights than anybody. Even the people who would try to destroy them just because they are different.

I doubt that God is even known in the depth of space bar a small minority of people on my homeworlds. The pope of Valtican city has no idea of what else is out there past this world and until he does he should not be so quick to condemn others who are different.

Ambassador Sakura Yamamoto. Neo Kirisuban WA team

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"Well the Valtican has the right to call people an ass, the same for the people who he called that. But in no way can he condemn and wish to murder these furry beings. For without their prostitution rings and TV shows how in the world could my Vice President spend his time?" - President John Batther answering about the Valtican Pope's stance

And as we clearly witness in these graphs, furries as they are commonly known are significantly inferior on all scales to the average foreign human, and are simply incomparable to the proud Nicksyllvanian master race in ability. And here we have further evidence that shows that furries are even below communists in intelligence, this decline in intelligence is shown even in humans dressing as furries, showing that like communism, furrititis is indeed a mental disease for humanoids, fortunately this disease affects only those who are already weak willed and inferior, hence why these conditions has never occurred in a pure blooded Nicksyllvanian. Overall our studies conclude that furries are a greater threat to humanity and civilization then even communism, and hence our glorious nation should take every step to stamp it out.

Dr. Phil Ishii, Head of Imperial Nicksyllvanian Department of Eugenics

The problem we currently have with nations are the varying definitions of "Furries", which may be the cause of many of these mis-understandings.

The Meaning of Furry in most countries is that of a humanoid creature exhibiting 'animal' features, such as fox ears and animal tails. Many explanations are sought for the creatures existance, from parallel evolution to the offspring of "interesting" affairs between animals and humans. The latter however is known to be impossible due to the natural abort process the reproductive system of all animals have: if two seperate specieies gametes attempt to fuse, the zygote formed will be terminated by the body 100% of the time, due to the genetic nightmares of what could be the finished product.
The most viable explanation is that these animal features form due to mutations in the developing embryo. While most mutations do cause damage, some are known to produce effects that work (the entire theory of evolution relies on the fact that benevolent mutations occur), and if advantageous produce a race of creatures that are more likely to survive than others, which then dominate over the others. This process with humans takes centuries, possibly millenia. While animal ears may not be seen as advantageous, they can survive: think the occurance of different iris colours. This is what spawns the races of humans with animal features.

Some nations see the definition of furry, quite rightly, to be the sexual pervesion that some indulge in. This is not true in these debates or wars.

Questions?

"The furry is a mutant. A genetic crime against both humanity and the gods. Likewise, those who would put on suits to look like and act like furries commit crimes against morality and decency of the highest level. They are agents of Moander, born only to corrupt, to rot humanity from within. Regardless of if the furry is a mutant or a pervert, the end result is the same. Both forms of furries spit in the eyes of the gods equally, and likewise both forms must be dealt with the same way."

"Only by killing them with fire can we prepare them to yiff in hell. Suffer not the furry to live."

--Dawnbringer Michael Northrop, Priest of The Morninglord

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"Hmmmm, well communists fuck up the economy, have killed over 400,000 Grestonian soldiers, over 1 million other Grestonians and neighbors, pollute the minds of many young ones as well as senile old ones, it is their fault we go to most of our wars, they wish to take away my job, they wish to abolish tax, and suck. So I would have to say furrism is much, much, much worse and more of a threat to Greston then communism. They work on the inside, we cannot push all furries out but we can communists so furries are closer and could attack an any second." - President John Batther answering which is worse, communism or furrism

OOC: This is just a parody of 60 minutes on furrism I am releasing it bit by bit.

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"Well the Valtican has the right to call people an ass, the same for the people who he called that. But in no way can he condemn and wish to murder these furry beings. For without their prostitution rings and TV shows how in the world could my Vice President spend his time?" - President John Batther answering about the Valtican Pope's stance

OOC: You sir, win this thread.

OOC: You sir, win this thread.

OOC: Thank. *takes a bow*

It greatly saddens the Kitsune Empire of Xiscapia to hear the other nations of the world it shares speak so profanely.
Yes, you read right. Kitusne.
*Gasp* Could it be? Creatures different from humans? Obviously they have no right to live! Obviously they must be inferior, because they do not look like us! No, others say, such things could not possibly exist.
Open your eyes, world. Where in all your blatant stupidity, species-ism and blind general ignorance is there reason?
Many say that because of their difference, a "furry" could not possibly be on a comparible scale to a human. The Empire begs to differ, as we seem to have a stable economy, peaceful nation and abundent resources, entirely without human help.
Because we are governed, made up of, and support, furries.
Official message from the Palace.

"Furries contribute to the economy as much as regular people do, so what's the problem? I mean, sure it doesn't appeal to me, but it's not as if they're running around murdering people and raping our countrysides."

--Dave Host, collective member from The Community of Cyparissus

"Like I explained in the most recent Editorial of the Dawkins Magazine (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13621462#post13621462), on behalf of the Richard Dawkins Institute for Research of Memes, I've been amazed to see how a hoax have become so widely believed across the globe. First, I brought with me an history book. You probably seen one once, and after a careful reading of it, I find it highly unlikely that there have been no previous register of these supposed 'furries' in human history, if they are predominant enough to the point of being hunted down, why would all reliable history books of Earth have no single footnote about their existence? This is something I forgot to mention in the editorial I wrote.

But that's not all, not only history offers an argument against its existence, but genetics and biology are also explaining why it's impossible for an human with cat ears or tails or an animal with an exactly humanoid shape to exist beyond artistic works and Egyptian deities, plus it's doubtful that no scientist of the known world has ever cataloged such beings if they really exist, something which an understanding of genetics will deny. I will just repeat the same thing I wrote before:

The fact is that genes are not blueprints, you can't, for example, insert 'the genes for a cat's ear' into an human and get an human with cat ears, or insert 'the genes for humanoid form' in an animal and get a 'furry'. There are no genes for ears or 'humanoid form'. What can be done with genes is chemistry, since DNA codes for chemicals. It could theoretically be possible to exist a genetically modified human with more hair than usual who doesn't have that genetic problem which makes humans grow more hair the natural and gave origin to the werewolf myth, or with better night vision from very few animal genes which control production of rhodopsin, but an animal with evident but limited human features or an human with evident but limited animal features? Only if you are an artist interested in drawing anthropozoomorphic beings. And on the genetically modified humans, all I have to say is that with our modern technology the chances of doing it right are as large as the chances of achieving world peace right at this moment.

Now what makes me really saddened is the fact there are already people waging war because someone had the idea of forcing humans in the death row of some authoritarian States to dress fursuits in a grotesque attempt to bestialize the 'enemies of the State', and I personally find such concept of such bad taste. Yes, some racists tended to compare ethnic minorities to animals before, but that's going too far with this new meme spreading around. The world is simply getting too insane when something which seems to have spurted, yes, spurted straight from a website like 4chan, has been used as justification to wage wars. If this was a discussion about the maturity of some of the world leaders, I would have much more to say, let's leave at that for now"

- Aaron "Yiffinhell" Paul, Spokesperson of the Richard Dawkins Institute for Research of Memes

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"The AFA? There is an alliance fighting against furrism and their blatant stupidity? And their main target is The Ryou Black Islands?! SIGN ME UP!" - President John Batther speaking on the AFA and affiliates

I really can't see the source of all this bitter hatred and senseless violence being comitted against these people. They've as much right to live in our world as anyone else. So what if they've got ears and tails like cats or foxes or even have wings on their backs. They contribute to society as much as everyone else does. If other nations don't want them why don't they just send them here and then they'll be our problem.

- Victoria Kensington, Geneticist, Bjorneson Institute

These "Furries" are neither genetically created mutants, nor are they sexual divients dressing up in costumes day in and day out. They are children of God. They are our fellow citizens of humanity!

These "Furries" are neither genetically created mutants, nor are they sexual divients dressing up in costumes day in and day out. They are children of God. They are our fellow citizens of humanity!

No. Just no. They are vermin to be destroyed.

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"There is history of Furrism, Greston, even myself, had taken part in it. It was when the silly, in human, inferior chain of islands by the name of Free Furry Islands started up. They were a warmongering group. They even attacked an AFA member, Tocrowkia with nukes and planes. They were destoyed so they sent out spec ops. The Tocrowkians kicked their asses too. A war broke out, oh that war was awesome, and many people took in refugees. They wanted ot peacefully end it but it ended in nukes or something like that. Thus the furry prescence in Greston" - President John Batther on the history of furries

I am insulted at the hate against my kind, I being what they call a Furry. I am a General of The Ryou Empire and fought in The Civil War, even lead the Ryous against DoubleWideville.

Those Bakas who say I am a hoax and a hentai should see The Nekos in your great Empire. We are real and good and kind........unless we have to much Sake.

General Naya Mewsyu, General of The Ryou Imperial Army, Neko.

"Furries contribute to the economy as much as regular people do, so what's the problem? I mean, sure it doesn't appeal to me, but it's not as if they're running around murdering people and raping our countrysides."

--Dave Host, collective member from The Community of Cyparissus

"I wis to in for m Dave tat tey DO run aroun d mur derin people an rapin us. In fac t, I hear d tat one of my secon cousiné was raped by a furry two weeké ago."

--hill billy from a hamlet 5 km west of foretiri

"Now this is quite new and my psychiatrist friend would love to see it. Personally I support neurodiversity and see nothing wrong with situations like that of a friend of mine who thinks he is Jesus Christ or of another who thinks he is Napoleon, but this is the first time I saw someone who strapped cat ears over real ones and claimed being a 'neko'. In other countries, you would probably end in the psych ward of a sanitarium for schizophrenia, but if you really think you are a "neko" and are happy with this harmless delusion, who am I to say for you to wake up to the fact you are human? Oh, and why did you called me as a 'vaca'? I'm not a cow, maybe this 'I'm not human' thing is getting too over in your head, and I advise you to be careful where you go with those fake cat ears or you might end hugging a straightjacket."

- Aaron "Yiffinhell" Paul, in address to Naya Mewsyu

"Furries are pests that must be completely annihilated from this world. They're crimes against nature, polluters of society, and wastes of resources. Plus, we all need something "sentient" to kill for fun, and nothing is more fun to kill than a family unit of furries. My last personal execution was against a rebel furry leader and his family, I drove a crowbar into his head and pried it open before using a power drill on the mother's head, then beating the children with my steel knuckles."

Excerpt from a speech given by Gnaeus Mundus I before his capture:
"The furries are an abomination against the human genome which must be stamped out, lest it corrupt our species and further stall human evolution. This can be done either by segrigation or extermination." began the Emperor, wearing a new leopard-furry robe, "Nations such as Xscapia can become safe havens for these creatures if they wish, but only if they agree to stop crossbreeding. I have condoned and aided in exterminatory actions only where there is a danger of genetic corruption. Belkaros has never dealt with these creatures on a large scale, and hopefully never will. We will continue to champion human genetic purity and superiority, and never yield to the furry menace. Glory to the Imperium of Belkaros!"

"These things (Furries) are like Soviets. Godless, hairy, Communists, fags, an enemy against all humanity. The only difference is that the Soviets can take off their fur coats." -Tucker Boot, President

** shaky video feed of an Axmanlandian peasant rice farmer standing ankle deep in the mud behind him a second farmer leads a drooling slack jawed minotaur like being harnessed to a plow up and down the field**

"well i for one don't know what all the fuss i about" he drawls chewing on a grass stem " i mean its not like they mind working the fields all our furries has been bread for it big lummox don't even know he's alive half the time"

the voice behind the camera asked " and what would you say to those who say furries are intelligent"

the peasant thought about this for a while and replied "if he was all that clever he'd be standing here and ide be standing there" he said nodding

Excerpt from a speech given by Gnaeus Mundus I before his capture:
"The furries are an abomination against the human genome which must be stamped out, lest it corrupt our species and further stall human evolution. This can be done either by segrigation or extermination." began the Emperor, wearing a new leopard-furry robe, "Nations such as Xscapia can become safe havens for these creatures if they wish, but only if they agree to stop crossbreeding. I have condoned and aided in exterminatory actions only where there is a danger of genetic corruption. Belkaros has never dealt with these creatures on a large scale, and hopefully never will. We will continue to champion human genetic purity and superiority, and never yield to the furry menace. Glory to the Imperium of Belkaros!"

Listen I'm a part time geneticist and I have something to say about Mundus's comment. With the exception of severe Genetic engineering, Crossbreeding would be impossible, despite their physical parallels, Non Humans and humans are almost 90% incompatable Naturally. Unless some Genetist manages to somehow alter the genome in the exact right way that would cause a reproductive alteration... Which, as of now is nay impossible.
And to this Mr.Aaron Paul, you ever heard of the Parallel evolution theory? That two dis similar species can mimic the same modifications to reach a similar form? Oh and I think baca was supposed to mean idiot... With that said, you are a vaca. -Tom Roy of TLA Genetic Research labs, Gale TLA.

(OOC:At least in MT nations, Magic Tech, PMT and FT nations have no such limitations. Remember that)
(PS: I had him mis-speak the word baka as well as he couldn't say it right.)

Romandeos has always been kind to its minorities, asking only that they obey Romandeosian law and behave as loyal, law-abiding Citizens. From the Jews, to the Furries, this policy always holds.

~ Prof. Christine Duran, Head of Minority Studies, University of Southcoast

The last time this sort of mis information was posted I blew it out of the water. Don't make me do it again...

The fact is that genes are not blueprints, you can't, for example, insert 'the genes for a cat's ear' into an human and get an human with cat ears, or insert 'the genes for humanoid form' in an animal and get a 'furry'. There are no genes for ears or 'humanoid form'. What can be done with genes is chemistry, since DNA codes for chemicals. It could theoretically be possible to exist a genetically modified human with more hair than usual who doesn't have that genetic problem which makes humans grow more hair the natural and gave origin to the werewolf myth, or with better night vision from very few animal genes which control production of rhodopsin, but an animal with evident but limited human features or an human with evident but limited animal features? Only if you are an artist interested in drawing anthropozoomorphic beings. And on the genetically modified humans, all I have to say is that with our modern technology the chances of doing it right are as large as the chances of achieving world peace right at this moment.


Yes, genes are blue prints, and since even today we can mix and mingle genes in plants and animals, we can assuredly do it to humans.

DCFTNN: News at 2200! What is a "furry"

The image on the screen flashes to two very well dressed, impeccably clean individuals with absolutely perfect teeth. They were sitting on two chairs, behind them a backdrop that constantly changed producing stunning Vista's. Large holographic letters started to display the nights topic. Furries, what exactly are they, was emblazoned in bold letters flashing before the pair.

"Greetings, tonight I have with me Scientific Caste Genetor Alfarin Demarcel, author of the book Tau, Octonoids and other inferior, noseless humanoids, and how they pertain to you.. Genetor, we welcome you from the Divine Celestial Federation of Tannelorn News network." The long blond haired man to the right began, smiling widely and slightly eerily with those perfect teeth. The man to his left nodded and started to speak. "Thank you Dalil, Warm Greetings from the Scientific caste, I am honoured to be able to speak out on your show tonight. The subject at hand is furries. It has come to the attention of the Tannelornian Genetor's of the existence and wide spread distribution of a dangerous new species across the galaxy. Even on primitive worlds they are having trouble's with them, sparking wars of ethnic cleansing."

Dalil gave a look of sincere concern. "A new species, but why havent the populace of Tannelorn at large been told of their existence?" he asked. "Well Dalil, and our viewers at home or abroad...for two reasons. One we could not believe that such a monstrosity in itself could exist naturally..the pressures of evolution produce nearly human looking species on any world that is prime real estate for developing sentient humanoids. The worst you will get is say..klingons or perhaps, in an ozone depleted environment..orcs." The men laughed as images of orcs and tau dressed up in suits and dancing on stage to the uproarious laughter of crowds of Tannelornians displayed across the back drop.

"Well honoured Genetor, what do these things look like?" Dalil asked with an overly sincere curiousity. "Well Dalil, that is the biggest concern. Their forms are numerous, more then the stars in the sky." Pictures suddenly showed of furries in the back drop. This time Dalil looked on with genuine disgust, the colour draining from his face. "What..what is this Genetor, even a young child knows that crossbreeding with animals requires vast genetic engineering, and degradates the genome entirely so that within a few generations all that will be produced is dangerous and deformed mutants!"

"Aye that is true, but somehow..and most disturbingly of all these..things are capable of breeding with almost any known species, save tannelornians of course..thanks in part to the last nanite system update on all civilised Tannelornian worlds. Thankfully our genomes are now protected from this menace." Dalil looked at him in open horror. "Now here are some images that will be considered quite graphic to some tannelornians, here is footage of captive individuals as well as appropriated prime humans from primitive worlds."

The scene flashed to some graphic depictions of furries attempting to and succesfully mating with a series of serious rednecks, stolen from earthlike worlds."Do not worry the humans were treated for any genetic damage due to contact with these creatures and returned to their homes." Alfarin had shielded his eyes from the scenes..but as he spoke Dalil reacted as any true tannelornian would when presented with such a scene of unbridled evil.

He started to vomit. Profusely in fact, directly in front of himself. With a shriek he managed. "BY HEAVEN THEY ARE -Expletives deleted-THOSE HORRIFIC ABOMINATIONS. HEAVEN SAVE US THEY CAN -EXpletive chain deleted- with humans!!!!" Dalil then, shrieked clutching his head, then vomited again.

It was several moments before he regained his composure. "Now you see Dalil, why they concern us so greatly, do not worry the specimens were disposed of." he finished with a grave look on his face, staring in to the camera's. "Why are the Knights nor the Federal Spacy not doing anything about this threat, should we not be purging worlds that harbor these deviant scum, scouring them to the bedrock with our divine light?" Alfarin nodded.

"Yes, we should however the political will to enact a crusade against all things furry is not there, however i believe after tonight it will be. I have created a disease that works against the "scaly" strain of furries with a 97% success rate, inoculations against the other strains of the parasite are on the way. It is a virus based and self reproducing immune system supplement, which attacks any "unclean organisms" within reach. If the Divine celestial council agrees to it, I can guarantee that any Tannelornian world..or any world on which a Tannelornian treads will be Furry free." Dalil looked at the Genetor "So you wish to immunise the population against the Furry threat?" Dalil responded. "Aye we do, only when the first breath of a furry on a Tannelornian world, nay even near a Tannelornian is its death, may we be without fear of this perverse parasite spreading to our paradise. We hope one day that we can hone the immuno-viral supplement to the point that just by stepping upon any world the immune system will seek out any of these abominations, however that is for now just a dream. To fully cleanse the furry will require fire and light."

The image panned in to a very grave looking Alfarin, images of a massive orbital bombardment with graser fire behind him, before going to commercial.

OOC: I am gone for one day and this explodes....sweet.

IC:

Thank you for tuning in to the Mokastana New Network specail report, more to come, but first a word from our sponsers:



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OOC: Whats with the wave of Furry threads lately?

OOC: Whats with the wave of Furry threads lately?

(Quick OOC: It's called bandwagon. It's actually recommended to avoid jumping on them. When you are usually the one starting the bandwagon rather than following it, at least it can be assured you have some creativity in RPs, now if you only jump in bandwagons... let's say some people tended to do that commonly among other things, and today don't have a good OOC reputation of their RP quality. I've limited my participation on this in the form of IC jokes, because honestly it's getting so excessively overused it's actually starting to look like one by itself)

OOC: Why was there a wave of anti-semitism in the thirties? There just are I guess. Also i agree, the jokes are good as it is kind of a funny topic.

OOC: Why was there a wave of anti-semitism in the thirties? There just are I guess. Also i agree, the jokes are good as it is kind of a funny topic.

OOC: Half the world was in economic depression and of course Jews became an easy scape goat. Books like Mein Kamph also helped to fan the flames of it.

"I swear to the gods if I hear just ONE more thing about furries, I will not rest until every one of these creatures lies dead at my feet."

(Furries!)

"I swear to the gods if I hear just ONE more thing about furries, I will not rest until every one of these creatures lies dead at my feet."

"Just as planned."

"Fuck the AFA...And those religious nuts in Vatican City...Fuck it all...I fight for liberty, freedom, equality, and these bastards come around undoing us Marines' work...I'd put a bullet in the leader of the AFA's head. Not for the furries, but for the boys at the front. Oorah"
~Sgt. Jack Price, IDMC

Let us in the Republic speak up. First all our so-called furries are gen-tech. They are as we say a step below the humans in our lands. They are used as labor, frontline troopers and other such things. They go from our most trusted Dog-Boys to the least trusted slave race Reptoids. But if you want to kill the creaturs what is next? Destroying Cyborgs and robts. Live and let created live.


Reptoid shown here.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v396/wardoggames/grell16.jpg

"Furries? What furries? The only 'furries' that I know of are the cheaply made plasti- I mean, felt pillows from our poorly ventilated sweatsh- I mean excellently constructed and clean manufacturing facilities. If you're talking about those really ugly, cursed, mutated, unnatural, disgusting, terrible, disgraceful furry creatures, they all need to be tossed into a big pit. Then, we need to fill that pit with oil- wait no, alcohol- wait no, GARBAGE, and then light the pit on fire while tossing opium into it and singing songs while dancing around it."

-Commissar Vasiliy, 34295th Brigade, 13529th Stoklomolvi Military Police Force Division

Imperial News Network

Emperor Ingolf III Public Address


“Many now ponder the questions what category of species are the furries? Are they human? Are they akin to humans? Are they truly sentient? Are they equal to us true and pure humans?

Today, I shall answer these questions for you, my fellow Scandinvans!

Furries are a separate species then humans entirely.

Furries, though related to humans be genetics, are not humans in any aspect as they are a separate species and thus not equal to humans in any manner, if you do not believe recent tests in the Empire show that Furries posses an IQ of sixty five-seventy two on average.

As I said earlier of the far inferior IQs of Furries they still posses some primal instincts and primitive intellect that does grant them some sort of sentience. So therefore, they well be classified as being higher on the evolutionary chain, in terms of intelligence, then any ordinary animal or other type of beast.

In regards to if they are equal to humans, to this I say that are most certainly are not. This is due to the fact that they posses far inferior intellects to any standard human, do not posses the same higher mental capacities as humans, are lacking in the ability to establish their own complex social structures, and are incapable of the abstract thinking processes that come naturally to any human.

However, this does not mean that we should not look out for our genetically close relatives. Therefore, I propose that we create areas where Furries might be placed and protected from any type of human influence, so that we might allow them to live their lives unabated by human activities.”

Chad Foreal sits in his host chair, while the CEO of MNN yells at everyone:

"Can we get some specailist in here?! I am tired of these government statements, I want furry and animal supporter experts in here NOW. We need clash, fighting, killing maiming of furries with children cheering in the background on TV. Get me people asking for help with the their furry issue and furries asking for the right to live. I want desperation, I want a cry for peace, I want orbital bombardment, I want more things like the clash between Vatican City and 100 Minutes Special Report in Greston. I want to hear furries called the scum of the earth...I want people defending them to the death....Get me ratings people!!!!

wait, is that camera on? Fuck turn it off TURN IT OFF!"

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"Furries doing labor? Tell me when we have fucking lady bugs carrying bricks and I will be able to believe that. Furries are the result of perversion, mutations, and tons of other shit I am not authorized to tell about, much like the shit happening in under ground bases throughout Greston. They are furfags, not fur body builders, since when has a gay been able to do work?" - President John Batther about furry labor

100 Minutes Special Report Being Released

"Furries are being genocided? Where the fuck have I been. Oh that's right in the basement of this shitty building." - President John Batther on furry genocide

"Oh well then that makes much more sense. You want a cookie or a medal?" - President John Batther after being explained about furry genocide

"Or right I am supposed to act all outraged now. Wait a second, let me clear my throat, ok. No wait. Ok now I'm good, WHAT THE FUCK! We shouldn't stand for this nonsense in allowing people to mass murder furry fag peferts and their offsprings just because of their race! That is like killing facists, communists, dictators, and socialists and say 'capitalism is better' as our excuse, which is true but doesn't matter. WE should react by deploying the largest fleet even constructed by Greston to go some place where this made up shit is happening and do something that we should do and then turn off the televisions so those damned Grestonians won't notice it was all a hoax, much like the landing on the mo- nevermind." - President John Batther on furry genocide

OOC: bravo

"Well, Chad, as I said before, I am Professor Drake Mallard, and I am here to talk about them to your, viewer, listeners, readers, or what ever people you serve," professor Mallard said. "I'm going to quote you some statistics, okay Chad? For instance, did you know that 97% of all scientists, ever, are alive right now? Did you also know that 100% of those that aren't alive, are dead? Now this last on might be a bit of a shock, but did you know that if you laid out all the economists in the world head to foot, they would reach a conclusion?"

Imperial Norse First Party News Station

"Well, I have been growing through the global news lately ad I have nothing more then stories about a bunch of animals being killed for what they are, animals. These furries are obviously not even close to being human in any of the ways that matter; in fact I doubt then even posses things like sentience or complex human emotions.

Therefore, why not burn all those furries to hell for the fun it?

These is no reason why we should not. So now I say to the world grab your guns and go shoot some furries, grab your knives and skin them alive, go out and burn some fur fags with all cleaning flames, or get a club and start smashing some furries!

I myself am going out tonight and going to burn some furries. Who is with me!

*Crowd cheers*

Well then my friends underneath your seats you will all find new torches, swords, or pitchforks. All guaranteed to gave those furries something to look out for, and I can personally attest to that.

So tonight I am hosting a furry roast, so feel free to come down and bring the whole family, because this is not something you will want to miss.

Francis Dreais out."

A distinguished-looking Kahanistanian man of about 70 spoke up.

"I am Dr. Bruce Williams, Professor of Neurology at the University of New Masada," he said. "Our research holds that the brain of the 'neko' or 'anthropomorph' is virtually identical to that of the brain of Homo sapiens. They are clearly as self-aware as we are, and every bit as intelligent. Studies have failed to show a demonstrable, statistically significant discrepancy in mental capacity between Homo sapiens and various anthropomorphic races. Therefore, they are entitled to the same rights as any other sapient being."

"Well, Chad, as I said before, I am Professor Drake Mallard, and I am here to talk about them to your, viewer, listeners, readers, or what ever people you serve," professor Mallard said. "I'm going to quote you some statistics, okay Chad? For instance, did you know that 97% of all scientists, ever, are alive right now? Did you also know that 100% of those that aren't alive, are dead? Now this last on might be a bit of a shock, but did you know that if you laid out all the economists in the world head to foot, they would reach a conclusion?"

"Welcome Proffesor Mallard, and we have viewers, listeners, readers, we have it all. This is MNN after all. So do you have any evidence that 97% of scientist are alive right now, and what do you define as a Scientist? What about zombies? How do you know that there isn't one zombie scientist out there? To refute your claims we have a special guest.


OOC: anyone???

"Dat be me!"

Some fat, hick women with frayed and wild blondish hair got up out of her seat and tried relentlessly to squeeze out of her seat. He lard jiggled and danced around as she walked it bounced up and then down, it was a disgusting sight. She was one of the few Grestonian blue collar workers, she was Marla Branda Charla Honey, a racist, gun toting, bible thumper.

"Well mistur sta-tit-istics men. What ya 'ave to say fer yer gosh darn white colla self? Ye damned athiest racists bitch ya go hump ya ma ma ay!"

"Yes folks, from the fine trailer parks, I mean glorious universities of Greston, we have.....Marla Branda Charla Honey?"


Chad looks over shoulder to director, agures off mic, Director shrugs and Chad turns around with an ohh shit look then a smile.

"Also we have Dr. Bruce Williams, Professor of Neurology at the University of New Masada, to refute the claims of both Marla and Professor Mallard."

DING DING DING

"Round one!"

Marla being a renound dog fighting fan took the DING DING DING as a sign to start fight. In result she "put up her dukes" in front of her face rush the old man. First she punched him in the gut then the face making sure to snap his glasses. She kneed him in the balls then started twisting his nose.

"Bitch ya do dat to me ya bitch! Trel 'ers fer eva bitch!"

Chad turned back to the director, quiet muttering and mumbles with the words: "run with it"

he turned back and smiled, apparently the director wanted this, but no one knew that.

He began to play referee.

One of the phones at the desk rings...

The desk's second phone rings...

"Thank you for calling the MNN special report: Furries, What the Fuck? This is Chad Foreal, speak!"

"Hi, My name is William Elias, from the Cazelian marines...I just wanna say I heard what the Red Tideans did and I wanna say; What the fuck is wrong with you people! Furries have emotions, feelings, lives, families! So what if they look different! You're no different than the Stalinists! That's right! You're fucking commies!" Yelled Elias into the phone

"Please share with us who don't know what the Red Tidians did!"

Nothing like good information for the show

"Oh let's see, they walked into several small, undefended communities of Nekos, raped the women, killed the men and children, stole their property of the dead and then burned the place down. And let's not forget every last one of those actions violated the Geneva Convention, and the UCRC charter. Their nation is a spawn for actions such as these, and someday they'll get what's coming to them."

"My god that does sound horrible, Where was this and how can we get footage....I mean, what is wrong with the world, who will do things to combat this evil!"

"Communists? What about them? YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH COMMIES, YA BASTARD? Bring it on! BRING IT ON! Death to furfags! I fire my ignore cannons at you all!"

- Some recently escaped lunatic from Deathwish Mental Correction Facility

"What the hell is an IGNORE cannon?"

some guy passing the MNN studio

"Thank you for calling the MNN special report: Furries, What the Fuck? This is Chad Foreal, speak!"

A man's voice said:
"Chad Foreal... we know what websites you visited last Summer, I must say, www.newbornkittensex.net* sure gets a lot of visits from you..."

And then the phone hung up.

Apparently, someone at the Intelligence Commissariat Electronic Interferrence Agency(AKA: Red Tide's Hacking Network) had been bored.

OOC: Not a real link...

"umm....lets go to commercial!"

As the camera fads out chad turns away and scribbles something down...definitely not the website...

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Dr. Mallard recoiled into a cloud of smoke, that mysteriously appeared behind him. Moments later, a humanoid duck, wearing a purple and red cape, purple shirt, a black mask over his eyes, and large black hat. "Let's get dangerous," he said, before rushing Marla Branda Charla Honey. He attempted to grab her around the waste, but was unable to get his arms around her. Ignoring that, he attempted to pick her up.