Third Spanish States
15-04-2008, 06:50
- Tucker, 15:00 PM
The Richard Dawkins Institute for Research of Memes, an institution both famous and infamous for its vehement anti-clerical, anti-religious world views, to the point of claiming that "all religions are viral memes", has identified a new international, limited-spread trend as a new meme is copycatted through some nations. In what is pejoratively classified as Cathobabbleism, the Dawkins Institute's representative Aaron "Darth Benedict XXIV" Paul has publicly stated about it, caring little about politeness with his usual irreverence and cynicism:
"This new meme consists into nothing but a mutation over the old meme of having countries named like the 'Democratic Republic of North Korea'. But now the trend is to have Catholic Churches which are as Catholic as North Korea is Democratic, probably in a metaphoric derivative of what in contemporary culture is known as penis envy. There is actually no real reasoning behind it other than jealousy of not having their own central religion and religious authority, or maybe for not having a large phallic monument (http://gordonye.com/yegifs/vatican1.jpg) among a major religious building to compensate for uncertainties and doubts of their psyche, and the existence of polytheistic cults calling themselves 'Catholic' explains pretty much the way such meme could fit perfectly as a post-virtual derivative of obscure Internet memes created by 12 years olds. Yes, I recognize there are actually some catholic churches which existed for a long time ago and although I disagree with their beliefs, they have a solid existence and dogmatic coherence rather than being almost joke religions like some of the most recent outcomes of this new memetic virus. However this sort of mental virus led some of them to attempt getting into the international spotlight in recent times, and I find it amusing to consider the fact that the word Catholic means 'Universal'... and yet there are dozens of 'Universal' churches being established, sometimes to allow some smut to become a pope. Perhaps it's more 'charming' and ego-pleasant to claim being 'The Catholic Church in...' rather than using a proper individual name for a religious denomination, but I personally see it as laughable"
Asked about the possible consequences of this trend, he simply answered, with a bit of sarcasm, pointing to potential geopolitical ramifications of this event, as it challenges many of the more traditional Catholic denominations:
"What happens when you have more than one meme naming itself as 'Universal'? We have a truly Universal convergence! It's inevitable that a meme war will happen between all these denominations for the right of claiming to be the REAL Catholic Church, and I have not accounted the possibility of the Doomani, which are indeed the most pure and orthodox form of Catholicism, feeling themselves offended by all these new denominations of Catholicism, some of which can't even be called Christian. Or maybe neither them or the more traditional Catholic Churches will ever care about this. Ignoring a viral meme is ensuring immunity. We just have to risk not ignoring them, or we would instead have to research the effects of idleness in human mind with ourselves as test subjects."
When being asked if he believed whether such trend would last or not, his answer was very quick:
"The chance of it lasting more than a few years is as great as the chance of Duke Nukem Forever being released and of Haven and Gholgoth signing a mutual nuclear disarmament pact. I have no shadows of doubt this new trend is leading to what in Internet terminology is classified as Fail"
The last question was on international statements to the publication of their 2-page long, synthetic report about this new trend, it was the most deep, philosophical and intelligent reply we have ever listened to, for never so little words were so loaded with meaning, briefing basically the entire set of beliefs from the Institute on Public Relations:
"I don't care"
A viral meme can be, in a simplified way of Richard Dawkins concept, explained as an equivalent of a gene regarding culture: an idea which spreads among people like a virus, changing their ways of thinking. Examples can be a catchy tune which can't leave your mind, expressions like "LOL" and "LULZ", image macros and small mantras, slangs and many other elements which maintain and change human cultures, for better or perhaps more usually, for worse.
On related news, several parody videos were released on YouTube to satirize some of these new "Cathobabbleisms", while a new parody religion have also arose, to side with Pastafarianism: The Catholic Timecubist Church, which claims, among other things, that there are 4 Popes, and that people are educated stupid among countless lines of pure babble inspired by that classic website and by these recent events in what was a mutation over the original viral meme, which still is active across the world.
The Richard Dawkins Institute for Research of Memes, an institution both famous and infamous for its vehement anti-clerical, anti-religious world views, to the point of claiming that "all religions are viral memes", has identified a new international, limited-spread trend as a new meme is copycatted through some nations. In what is pejoratively classified as Cathobabbleism, the Dawkins Institute's representative Aaron "Darth Benedict XXIV" Paul has publicly stated about it, caring little about politeness with his usual irreverence and cynicism:
"This new meme consists into nothing but a mutation over the old meme of having countries named like the 'Democratic Republic of North Korea'. But now the trend is to have Catholic Churches which are as Catholic as North Korea is Democratic, probably in a metaphoric derivative of what in contemporary culture is known as penis envy. There is actually no real reasoning behind it other than jealousy of not having their own central religion and religious authority, or maybe for not having a large phallic monument (http://gordonye.com/yegifs/vatican1.jpg) among a major religious building to compensate for uncertainties and doubts of their psyche, and the existence of polytheistic cults calling themselves 'Catholic' explains pretty much the way such meme could fit perfectly as a post-virtual derivative of obscure Internet memes created by 12 years olds. Yes, I recognize there are actually some catholic churches which existed for a long time ago and although I disagree with their beliefs, they have a solid existence and dogmatic coherence rather than being almost joke religions like some of the most recent outcomes of this new memetic virus. However this sort of mental virus led some of them to attempt getting into the international spotlight in recent times, and I find it amusing to consider the fact that the word Catholic means 'Universal'... and yet there are dozens of 'Universal' churches being established, sometimes to allow some smut to become a pope. Perhaps it's more 'charming' and ego-pleasant to claim being 'The Catholic Church in...' rather than using a proper individual name for a religious denomination, but I personally see it as laughable"
Asked about the possible consequences of this trend, he simply answered, with a bit of sarcasm, pointing to potential geopolitical ramifications of this event, as it challenges many of the more traditional Catholic denominations:
"What happens when you have more than one meme naming itself as 'Universal'? We have a truly Universal convergence! It's inevitable that a meme war will happen between all these denominations for the right of claiming to be the REAL Catholic Church, and I have not accounted the possibility of the Doomani, which are indeed the most pure and orthodox form of Catholicism, feeling themselves offended by all these new denominations of Catholicism, some of which can't even be called Christian. Or maybe neither them or the more traditional Catholic Churches will ever care about this. Ignoring a viral meme is ensuring immunity. We just have to risk not ignoring them, or we would instead have to research the effects of idleness in human mind with ourselves as test subjects."
When being asked if he believed whether such trend would last or not, his answer was very quick:
"The chance of it lasting more than a few years is as great as the chance of Duke Nukem Forever being released and of Haven and Gholgoth signing a mutual nuclear disarmament pact. I have no shadows of doubt this new trend is leading to what in Internet terminology is classified as Fail"
The last question was on international statements to the publication of their 2-page long, synthetic report about this new trend, it was the most deep, philosophical and intelligent reply we have ever listened to, for never so little words were so loaded with meaning, briefing basically the entire set of beliefs from the Institute on Public Relations:
"I don't care"
A viral meme can be, in a simplified way of Richard Dawkins concept, explained as an equivalent of a gene regarding culture: an idea which spreads among people like a virus, changing their ways of thinking. Examples can be a catchy tune which can't leave your mind, expressions like "LOL" and "LULZ", image macros and small mantras, slangs and many other elements which maintain and change human cultures, for better or perhaps more usually, for worse.
On related news, several parody videos were released on YouTube to satirize some of these new "Cathobabbleisms", while a new parody religion have also arose, to side with Pastafarianism: The Catholic Timecubist Church, which claims, among other things, that there are 4 Popes, and that people are educated stupid among countless lines of pure babble inspired by that classic website and by these recent events in what was a mutation over the original viral meme, which still is active across the world.