Gwljdodnfyglijjijip
05-04-2008, 02:59
The Gwljdodnfyglijjijip Broadcasting Network: Gwljdodnfyglijjijip's Most Reliable News Source!
Scene: Generic TV station. Newscaster, rather unremarkable and bored-looking woman in her thirties, with no particular accent and an unpleasantly shrill voice.
"Hello, I'm Alex Ptuykin with GBN and the latest reports from Gobadishu. The capital is apparently in some kind of turmoil, I guess. Loads of people are dying, and apparently there's a lot of stuff happening. We'll go to Janine Redmond in Gobadishu."
Scene: Hard to say. It's outdoors, and it looks like a public street in broad daylight, but otherwise the scene -- what of it can be seen -- is one of utter chaos. In the background, away from the camera, people seem to be running to and fro wildly, attacked by unseen forces; gunshots and screams ring out wildly. Janine Redmond, the newscaster, is a young lady of aristocratic mien and meticulous dress, marred only by the hideous, sharp black claws sinking themselves into her bloodstained throat, embroidering it like a brooch, except in the wrong place.
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Scene: Back to Alex, who looks (if possible) even more bored than before.
"As you can see there's, like, lots of problems happening. The Catholithic Church has released an official statement, or something, in which it says something about punishment for ancient sins, and how we've awakened a source of great evil or .... you know, some religious twaddle. Military dudes, on the other hand, are tied to the theory that it's some kind of organized violence, 'cause the phone lines or something have been cut, or maybe just aren't working. We tried calling the government officials in Gobadishu but they just said something like 'AAAAGGGH IT'S GETTING CLOSER! SEAL THE BREACHES! OH SHIT, HELP MEEEEEEEeeeaaaa*gurgle*' before the phone lines were, like, cut off.
"So anyway, I'm Alex Ptuykin with GBN, Gwljdodnfyglijjijip's Most Reliable News Source, and that's all on the crisis in Gobadishu. In sports...."
Scene: Generic TV station. Newscaster, rather unremarkable and bored-looking woman in her thirties, with no particular accent and an unpleasantly shrill voice.
"Hello, I'm Alex Ptuykin with GBN and the latest reports from Gobadishu. The capital is apparently in some kind of turmoil, I guess. Loads of people are dying, and apparently there's a lot of stuff happening. We'll go to Janine Redmond in Gobadishu."
Scene: Hard to say. It's outdoors, and it looks like a public street in broad daylight, but otherwise the scene -- what of it can be seen -- is one of utter chaos. In the background, away from the camera, people seem to be running to and fro wildly, attacked by unseen forces; gunshots and screams ring out wildly. Janine Redmond, the newscaster, is a young lady of aristocratic mien and meticulous dress, marred only by the hideous, sharp black claws sinking themselves into her bloodstained throat, embroidering it like a brooch, except in the wrong place.
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Scene: Back to Alex, who looks (if possible) even more bored than before.
"As you can see there's, like, lots of problems happening. The Catholithic Church has released an official statement, or something, in which it says something about punishment for ancient sins, and how we've awakened a source of great evil or .... you know, some religious twaddle. Military dudes, on the other hand, are tied to the theory that it's some kind of organized violence, 'cause the phone lines or something have been cut, or maybe just aren't working. We tried calling the government officials in Gobadishu but they just said something like 'AAAAGGGH IT'S GETTING CLOSER! SEAL THE BREACHES! OH SHIT, HELP MEEEEEEEeeeaaaa*gurgle*' before the phone lines were, like, cut off.
"So anyway, I'm Alex Ptuykin with GBN, Gwljdodnfyglijjijip's Most Reliable News Source, and that's all on the crisis in Gobadishu. In sports...."