NationStates Jolt Archive


Third Spanish States Smokes its Roots, becomes Immoral and Nihilistic Genocidal Borg

Third Spanish States
01-04-2008, 18:37
I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein

A massive group of thousands of individuals with red-rimmed eyes and on the high was discussing and listening on politics in a large plaza. A man was barely standing on foot when he started his speech. It has become critical. Now even the military was full of potheads, and to make things worse, those who were responsible for controlling all the, publicly denied, nuclear weapons of the Confederacy, were also on their second acid trips by such moment.

"Damn the world! We are the best, because we don't need rulers and those pathetic fools need! We've been passively watching for too long and it's time to show why everyone who needs governments fail! We have enough fractional orbital MaIRVs up to blow the entire planet and let's face it: mankind is worthless, from each ten born humans, three become thugs, four becomes losers, two become capitalist pigs and one faces reality and commit suicide. At least we have some degree of honesty, it's time for the old rules of nature to come again, this compassion, this failed concept has delayed the evolution of the human race. Why should we tolerate the pathetic, the conformists, the suckups? No! We must kill them all before they screw everything we did here! Because we can, right?"

"Yes! Death to the losers and suckups!", the crowd shouted while a few were hallucinating, when suddenly a man raised and argued:

"What? Trillions will die! Are you insane? And do you think this will not go without retaliation? This is suicide! Damn! You're really rooted into drugs! Stop now before you kill we all nuts!"

Suddenly the crowd drew their guns towards the man, who immediately cowered in fear. It was clear that liberating drugs has, ironically, led to the rise of a new form of tyranny. And now, as in most clichéd histories written by eighth-grade writers, it was too late, but unlike with them where an hero tends to change what seemed before to be hopeless, here it is definitive. It was not greed, ambition, ruthlessness, imperialism, capitalism or fascism that would give the final blow and destroy the Confederacy. No, what actually would seal its fate was a small root with hallucinogenic effects called Lulzenis Trepanemas, or popularly as simply "The Root", which has a near 100% addiction rate and which seems to entice aggressiveness and primal violent instincts and negate the hormones responsible for the feelings of compassion and mercy in human organism. Maybe it was a trap carefully laid by a fascist State, maybe not, but by now whatever it was, it won't make a damn difference.

"What were you saying?", one of the junkies asked.

"Huh, nothing!", the man replied scared.

"OK, so, what's the deal bro'?"

"Look at the skies! Soon the cleansing day will begin! Let's count: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, nukes! Now!"

The next world war was about to begin. And who would be to blame. A secret -insert hated ethnic minority here- conspiracy of the Protocols of the Elders of Anonymous who developed in secrecy a transgenic drug to make people emotionless and ruthless to bring the apocalypse sooner? The Illuminati? The Ceiling cat in its conspiracy to witness whatever it does happening across the world symbolically as massive steel phalluses filled with nuclear warheads fly through the skies? The flying spaghetti monster in a last effort to stop global warming and promote the growth of the number of pirates? Or was it just the fact mankind sucks?

Nothing of this mattered as a thousand of nuclear Maneuverable Independent Re-entry Vehicles entered into Orbit hundreds of kilometers above Earth and started to spread. In about 30 minutes, the entire world would become nothing but a massive nuclear wasteland, works which too millennia and natural evolution over millions of years would be completely annihilated in such little time. The few non-doped individuals in Third Spanish States ran towards fallout shelters. Fortunately, as a minority, there was more than enough space for them inside these vaults and arcologies. Humanity would be almost extincted, and the world would never be the same again after this moment. No statements were given, not at all. The only statement was that of the nuclear missiles flying through Earth's orbit and to eventually surround it and land on every territory of the globe besides Third Spanish States. Resistance is futile... through weed they have gained courage to weed the world, and now it was too late.
Greston
01-04-2008, 18:59
"AH this shit is awesome!"

President John Batther plucked the joint filled with "The Root" out of his mouth and leaned back in his chair as the substance fucked up his inards. He let out a long sigh of relief then his eyes grew and raged red and he withdrew his super uber colt hand machine gun from his jacket. He walked to the office door and kicked it out. The door went flieing through the hall and crushed two people. Then he fired like mad upon all of the staff and guards in sight. His secretaries fell, six bullets lodged in their head and body. With an evil scar laugh he shot and killed and shot and screamed. That was until every thing was halted.

"Oh shit. I know that sound."

His pale red eyes blinked while he stood in the middle of the hallway and then 3 nuclear missiles came down upon his building. All around Greston nuclear missiles savagely destroyed everything. And that was all because those stupid Coast Guard Soldiers fell asleep on the job.

This is obviously an OOC joke, I am guessing so is the OP. But lol anyway.
Kulikovia
01-04-2008, 20:15
A Research Lab Somewhere...

"Dr.Jones, I've found the cure for cancer!"

"Why, that's-"

*Explosion consumes the whole area*