NationStates Jolt Archive

At approximately 08:30 GMT the Easter Bunny was found to be trespassing on the territory of The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice.

As of 08:35 GMT the Easter Bunny is now in military custody on charges of military espionage against The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice.

(OOC: lol clever)

IC:

We of CDA congratulate you for taking custody of this wretched being that is the Easter bunny.

TO: The Armed Republic of The People's Justice.

Though my government couldn't really care less weather the Easter Bunny is captured of not, think of the children! In the name of happyness for all 3-6 year olds, we will not let this stand. Release the Easter Bunny at once, or we will send a volounteer army of toddlers and kindergardeners armed with teddy bears to your country. This volounteer army was not made by the official Indonesian States' Army, they made the "alianse of free teh ester bunny" on their own. This is not a joke. You have been warned.

Muhammad Hanka,
Acting President of the Indonesian States

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v35/jedierrant/Errantemblem.jpg

The Armed Republic of Catawaba
An Official Communication from the Alpha Miraade, Jedith Errant
Concerning a Most Vile Offense an International Figure of Good Will

The Armed Republic of Catawaba cannot tolerate the injustice of detaining such an august and honored personage as the Easter Bunny. As an extralegal figure of Easter merriment and joy, we acknowledge that the Easter Bunny holds not alliegance or tie to any nation or military body. Thus any charge of military espionage is a farce. An utter and bald farce.

We urge the Armed Republic of The People's Justice to release this minor holidy diety before any ill effects befall us all. For should any appear, they will surely multiply, well, like rabbits.

From the heart,

Jedith Errant

TO: International Community

As of 18:30 hours the Easter bunny is currently being questioned on charges of military espionage and conspiracy against the state.

If found guilty in accordance with national and military law the Easter bunny will be sentenced to death for war crimes against the state.

PS: As for the volunteer army of toddlers and kindergardeners armed with teddy bears I have personally put the military on high alert no matter what happens WE The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice will be ready.

:sniper: shoot that stupid bunny if you do not i reqest u hand the matter over to my country were he has commited several serious affenses including raping little children and abduction so MAKE IT SUFFFER!!!

OOC: ignore gingerisland's n00bish nooby noob post.

TO: The Government of the People's Justice

These children will be sent from a commercial airplane to your capital city. Technically, they are unarmed, so you may not attack them. They are not adults either, so they may attack you as they wish. If any children are killed, we will take over your nation by force. Think wisely. There are other options. And again, I was just asked to inform you - I have nothing to do with this until one of my people are killed within your nation.

Muhammad Hanka,
Acting President of the Indonesian States

OOC2: Oh, and considering your nation's new, I could roll over your military as if they are the little kids. So, think wisely,

TO: The Indonesian States

Because The Empire of Dregma is an old ally of The Peoples Justice, we will counter your attack with underaged thugs armed with wedgiehands and equiped with bikes and skateboards.

TO: The Government of The Indonesian states

I regret to inform you that as of now The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice sees no choice but to enforce a complete National Embargo against your country

National Embargo: International diplomatic act in which a nation bans its citizens from trading with one or several other country. The ban also extends to transportation over any given route or segment thereof, to or from any given airport, for or from a given connecting carrier.

In short any commercial of non- commercial flights from your country to The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice will not be allowed entry to the said country



TO: The Empire of Dregma

Thank you for your support old friend. Together with your help we can protect our lands against this violent aggressor.

To the Peoples Justice,

My friend Harvey, is very upset over this. He is going to get his friends, and they are preparing to rescue they're pooka brother, who you are holding. I have never seen Harvey angry like this. I am just asking you to let him go. You've never met anyone like Harvey before. Now wouldn't you be happier if you just let this poor fellow go?

Signed,
Elwood P. Dowd

Dear The People's Justice,

My name is Tanya Loganov, I live in New Archangel and am 6 years old. I heard that you have imprisoned the Easter Bunny. Why did you arrest him? What did he do? He's a nice bunny that only wants to give candy to children like me. Me and the others kids at the school are really really sad and hope that you will let him go. He didn't do anything wrong and it is bad that you have him in prison. Please, let him go.

Sincerely,
Tanya Loganov

We congratulate you on capturing the easter bunny fiend, we ourselves have been pursuing him for a long while on charges of smuggling, fraud, espionage, and murder (due to an instance where a child choked slipped on a broken easter egg and smashed their skull open on a wall). We ask that you allow us to assist in the interrogation and trial of this criminal.

Emperor Mikhail Haird
Tel Amur Empire

Dear The People's Justice,

My name is Tanya Loganov, I live in New Archangel and am 6 years old. I heard that you have imprisoned the Easter Bunny. Why did you arrest him? What did he do? He's a nice bunny that only wants to give candy to children like me. Me and the others kids at the school are really really sad and hope that you will let him go. He didn't do anything wrong and it is bad that you have him in prison. Please, let him go.

Sincerely,
Tanya Loganov

Official Telegram From The Armed Republic Of Ustio North
To: The People's Justice, Dregma
Subject: Immediate Release Of Easter Bunny

The Ustian Government stands with The Indonesian States on this matter. Release the Easter Bunny, or we set every Ustian childs big brother free to "Deck You"

You have been warned

Dregma, Ustio is an ally of The Indonesian States. Any military action against them will be considered an act of war and we will retaliate accordingly.

Signed

Sir Scott Welsh,
Acting President General

:sniper: shoot that stupid bunny if you do not i reqest u hand the matter over to my country were he has commited several serious affenses including raping little children and abduction so MAKE IT SUFFFER!!!

OOC: FFS N00b

These are just some of the angry letters, notes and messages written by kids in whose first language is English sent to TPJ:

Q

----------

♪

----------

2 ThE Ppl's Justis:

Y did u imprisun the Eestr buny? U must b rllly bod ppl bcaz the Eestr Buny is gr8 and u r eevul. U shad reeleez the animol b4 or bye 1 o klok I will have 8n ol ur eestr treetz.

~@®@ñ ©@®ñ@©

[QUOTE=Ustio North;13552477]Official Telegram From The Armed Republic Of Ustio North
To: The People's Justice, Dregma
Subject: Immediate Release Of Easter Bunny

The Ustian Government stands with The Indonesian States on this matter. Release the Easter Bunny, or we set every Ustian childs big brother free to "Deck You"

You have been warned

Signed

Sir Scott Welsh,
Acting President General



We'll send the meanest bully from every school to assist you.

OOC: Thank you for your support Kulikovia. Fantasy Creatures should never be imprisoned :D

OOC: Thank you for your support Kulikovia. Fantasy Creatures should never be imprisoned :D

Nor will this one remain incarcerated!

FROM THE LAW OFFICES OF QUAVERLY & SONS

Dear sir,
My name is Charles C. Quaverly, esq. I represent one S. Claus, who is the founder and chief associate of the "Society for the protection of minor deities of holidays." Mr. Claus demands the immediate release of your captive, Mr. E. Bunny, as he has not violated any international or internal law. Furthermore, any action you take against Mr. Bunny will be grounds for a suit in following with the "International Statute for the Proper Treatment of Mythical Holiday Deities." Mr. Clause respectfully requests that you return Mr. Bunny or else, "You'll have elves out the wazoo."

Respectfully yours,
Charles C. Quaverly, esq.
Quaverly & Sons: Attorneys of Law

FROM THE LAW OFFICES OF QUAVERLY & SONS

Dear sir,
My name is Charles C. Quaverly, esq. I represent one S. Claus, who is the founder and chief associate of the "Society for the protection of minor deities of holidays." Mr. Claus demands the immediate release of your captive, Mr. E. Bunny, as he has not violated any international or internal law. Furthermore, any action you take against Mr. Bunny will be grounds for a suit in following with the "International Statute for the Proper Treatment of Mythical Holiday Deities." Mr. Clause respectfully requests that you return Mr. Bunny or else, "You'll have elves out the wazoo."

Respectfully yours,
Charles C. Quaverly, esq.
Quaverly & Sons: Attorneys of Law

Mr. Clause

Stay out of this affair, Mr. E. Bunny has violated a number of laws and must atone for them. I also want you to stay out of this for your own good, as you are wanted in Tel Agarak for arson, espionage, trespassing, and theft. If we were able to take you into custody without violating international law, we would right now, do not give us another excuse to do so.

Mikhail Haird
Tel Amur Empire

P.S. We will be waiting for you with AA guns on Christmas Eve...

OOC:

Screw the children. Think of the chocolate!

Mr. Clause

Stay out of this affair, Mr. E. Bunny has violated a number of laws and must atone for them. I also want you to stay out of this for your own good, as you are wanted in Tel Agarak for arson, espionage, trespassing, and theft. If we were able to take you into custody without violating international law, we would right now, do not give us another excuse to do so.

Mikhail Haird
Tel Amur Empire

P.S. We will be waiting for you with AA guns on Christmas Eve...

FROM THE OFFICES OF S. CLAUS

It is of great regret that you, sir, have forced my hand. Please be aware that if you do not release Mr. Bunny immediately, a crack squadron of fully armed elves will be given the task of retrieving him. We will not be held responsible for the actions taken by these elves, nor when the death toll reaches the third digit. Please, for your own sake- release Mr. Bunny. Now.

Respectfully yours,
S. Claus
Toy Deliver, Father of Christmas, Christian Saint, Toy Maker General, High King of the People's Republic of the North Pole, Grand Chairman of the Federation of Mythical Holiday Persons, Founder and Chief Associate of the Society for the Protection of Minor Deities of Holidays, Leader of the New Elfen Federation, #1 Grandad.

We will send in 80's action movie parody Dutch Manstrong to blow up everything and save the Easter Bunny.

Tremble!: http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/Movies/Commando.jpg

TO: International Community

As of this time Mr. E. Bunny AKA the Easter Bunny is still being questioned by our internal security forces in relation to allegations of military espionage and conspiracy to cause acts of terrorism.

At this point in time we are currently investigating claims that Mr. E. Bunny was only trying to spread joy and happiness throughout the world. But this claim has yet to be proven and is the matter of internal investigation.

We are also investigating claims that Mr. E. Bunny was carrying grenades disguised as Easter eggs and killed 17 of our military personal when trying to escape.

To The Peoples Justice,
CC: All others involved,

Again I write concerning your detention of the Easter Bunny. Why do you chose to take such actions? The last time I saw Harvey, he was angry, I have never seen Harvey angry. He said he was going to save his friend. He went to enlist the help of his pooka brethren to rescue the Easter Bunny. Harvey is different than anyone you have ever met, just ask Dr. Chumley, or Dr. Sanderson. You could even ask my sister Veta, she doesn't really like Harvey, I don't know why. Anyway, I have warned you, do not be surprised when Harvey and his friends come to save the Easter Bunny. When Harvey says he will do something, it will get done.

Signed,
Elwood P. Dowd

FROM THE LAW OFFICES OF QUAVERLY & SONS

Dear sir,
My name is Charles C. Quaverly, esq. I represent one S. Claus, who is the founder and chief associate of the "Society for the protection of minor deities of holidays." Mr. Claus demands the immediate release of your captive, Mr. E. Bunny, as he has not violated any international or internal law. Furthermore, any action you take against Mr. Bunny will be grounds for a suit in following with the "International Statute for the Proper Treatment of Mythical Holiday Deities." Mr. Clause respectfully requests that you return Mr. Bunny or else, "You'll have elves out the wazoo."

Respectfully yours,
Charles C. Quaverly, esq.
Quaverly & Sons: Attorneys of Law

Notice from the Country Wide Police of Uiri

Dear Mr. S. Claus & Mr. Charles C. Quaverly esq.,

While we respect your stance on the incarceration of Mr. E. Bunny, he has clearly broken some laws in the foreign country known commonly as The People's Justice, which ironically has no law requiring a fair trial that we are aware of. We agree that this interrogation is unlawful however it is out of our hands and I suggest you keep it out of yours as well. Perhaps another member of the "Society for the protection of minor deities of holidays." could make your case such as a Mr. A. Cupid.

I suggest this because you are wanted in Uiri for billions of cases of breaking and entering for the supposed distribution of presents. You are also charged with almost as many counts of theft of food and/or drink, supposedly because you get hungry during your trip between break-ins and because your supposedly flying and magical reindeer also get hungry. We agree that the "International Statue for the Proper Treatment of Mythical Holiday Deities" (ISPTMHD) has been broken, however I do believe that The People's Justice is not a signatory of the ISPTMHD.

The Country Wide Police of Uiri

OOC2: Oh, and considering your nation's new, I could roll over your military as if they are the little kids. So, think wisely,

{ Same to you, buddy.

Be careful of what nonce garbage you spout in OOC. }

{ Same to you, buddy.

Be careful of what nonce garbage you spout in OOC. }

OOC:

Alright children, shush or I'll have an excuse.

Fake IC Post: As the B-2 passed over the Easter Bunnies prision, the pilot flicked the switch. There was a whir, a whoosh and then....
Then a ... (http://www.deskpicture.com/DPs/Miscellaneous/AtomicBlast.jpg)

General Xavier wooped and danced a konga. The Easter Bunny was finally defeated, only moments before he completed the arcane ritual to summon Beelzebunny.

Real IC:
The nation of Void Templar strongly urges you to execute this bunny, a creature of pure evil and malice, as he has been linked to a number of terrorist cells inside the Void.

We need Tenacious D to defeat Beelzebunny!

(( Beatus, kudos for the Jimmy Stewart homage. ))

"Sir? Colonel Quigley has arrived." The Miraade's secretary Jessica Lepur escorted the Air Force officer into the office. Colonel Matthew Quigley strode up in front of the Miraade's desk and stood at attention.

Dramatically, the Miraade turned around in his overly large leather chair. He looked at the colonel over peaked fingers. "Stand at ease, Colonel."

Quigley spread his feet shoulder width apart and clasped his hands behind his back. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

The Miraade leaned foward, placing his elbows on his desk blotter. "Yes, Colonel, I'm sure you've heard about the events in The People's Justice?"

His eyes remained locked above the ruler's head. "Yes, sir, nasty business. Easter Bunny and all that." This was rediculous. He couldn't believe he was getting called before his commander and chief over the Easter Bunny.

The Miraade's eyes narrowed. "It's worse than that, I fear. The PJs are going to try Mister E. Bunny for capital offenses. If they carry through with their dastardly plans, Easter will...never come again." Out of a clear, blue day, a rumble of thunder sounded and a drum pounded out "Bum Bum BUUMMM" to accompany the Miraade's words. Quigley groaned inwardly. This going to be an obnoxiously poor day now.

Quigley sighed and half-heartedly said the words he thought where expect of him. "No, no, say it ain't so, sir. Easter...never come again?" Yes, another crash of thunder and those damned phantom drums.

"I'm afraid so, Colonel, but We Catawabans cannot allow a travesty like that to occur! Which is why I and the War Office have concocted a hare-brained plan that we think might be so crazy...it might just work." The Miraade pushed his chair back as he stood and moved over to a shrouded table. Quigley followed, now groaning audibly at the Miraade's puns.

The Miraade pulled back the shroud from the table, revealing a rather detailed but unpainted model of a castle. "The Catawaban Intelligence Service..."

"I know who our intel spooks are, sir."

"Yes, the CIS has identified this location, Castel Evil von Nogood, as the likely place of Mister E. Bunny's imprisonment." He picked up a wooden pointer and rapped it against the side of the model. "I apologize for this rather crowd model, we didn't have time to paint it or make it to scale."

Quigley leaned in to peer at the tiny merlins on the fortifications and the intricate gargoyles on the towers. "No apology needed, sir. I think I can get the picture well enough."

"Right, good then." Errant reached behind the model and picked up a chocolate bunny placing it inside the castle. "We expect him to be heavily guarded in the deepest dungeons or the highest tower...we can't get better intel than that, but we think that ought to narrow things down a bit."

Quigley frowned. The model had sixteen towers, all jockeying to be the highest. He poked at the model and found a cutaway that revealed an estimate of the tunnel system under the castle. Oh this was going to be a piece of cake...Quigley looked up at the chocolate bunny. "Is that a representation of Mister E. Bunny's physical status?"

Errant looked over at the chocolate bunny which had both its ears bitten off. "No, colonel, the bunny was just sitting there while I was waiting for you to show up...and I couldn't help myself. No, the PJs are United Nation members and thus signatories to the Wolfish Convention on Prisoners of War. As stated POW, we expect that his ears and even his cute cotton tail will be intact. That is until their kangaroo court finds him guilty and executes him."

Errant stopped to ponder something for a moment. "Do you suppose we could bribe this kangaroo's court? He maybe be a presiding legal official, but..."

Miss Lepur cleared her throat. "Sir? I think it's a figure of speech."

Errant sighed. "Right, fine. Colonel, I am charging you will leading a hand selected team to rescue Mister E. Bunny. Whatever you need, you can have. Money is no object. We have been contacted by the Federation of Mythical Holiday Persons, and a Miss T. Fairy has agreed to bank roll our operation by ingeniously smuggling in the funds in untraceable amounts of pocket change left under the pillows of Treasury personnel."

Quigley bit his lip to keep from screaming at the insanity. He was quiet for a few moment as he gained control of himself. "Is that all, sir?"

Errant shook his head. "I have one stipulation to your team choice, Colonel."

"Of course." He rolled his eyes, wondering who he was being saddled with.

"Miss Jessica Lepur will be going with you. She claims to know a great deal about large, talking rabbits, and she personally detests you."

Quigley looked over at the tall, stunning red-head. style. Her short red dress accentuated her long, lucious legs, and yes, after he stared at her legs for a lecherously long time, he saw a seething dislike for him in her eyes. Well, one of her shimmering emerald eyes was hidden behind her long firey red bangs in a peek-a-boo style. "I'm sure our comic antics as we snipe and back bite each other during the mission will all but ensure our success, sir."

Errant smiled widely. "Good! Capital! We have taken to calling the mission Operation: Mister Quigley's Happy Easter Special."

Quigley looked disgusted. "Surely you must be joking..."

"I'm entirely serious, and don't call me Shirley. This operation depends on you and your reknown abilities to shape reality in the manner of a stereotype action hero, Colonel! If you can't do it..."

"Please don't say it, sir..."

"Easter...might never come AGAIN"

Quigley groaned and turned to leave. Ratzer Fratzin' Easter Bunny...oh perfect! The After-School special filter's already kicked in. Quigley threw his hands up in the air and cursed made-up nonsense words as he went to plan a silly, fun, and rousing rescue of the Easter Bunny.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v35/jedierrant/Errantemblem.jpg

The Armed Republic of Catawaba
An Official Communication from the Alpha Miraade Jedith Errant
An Angry Advisory Against Any Action Against An Annoited Animal.

The Government of The People's Justice,

We warn you not to harm a hare on the head of Mr. E. Bunny. The government of Catawaba will not cotton to any pronounce it open season on this holiday rabbit. You are a hop, skip, and jump from international intervention. We ask you to reconsider your actions.

We also ask other members of the international community not to egg on or paint the actions of People's Justice in any light encouraging this holiday hostage-taking. We fear that this is only the first hop down a dark rabbit hole into a warren of holiday persecution.

From the Heart,

Jedith Errant
Alpha Miraade

((( Too... many... puns.... Can't... breathe.... *head explodes from too much punoxide)))

(OOC: Your the first person to notice, they don't know what they're in for!)

((( Too... many... puns.... Can't... breathe.... *head explodes from too much punoxide)))

(( OOC: Yes! *rubs hands with a maniacal glint in his eye.* My evil plan is working! Buwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahaahahaha! *figuratively milks the giant cow.-* ))

(OOC: Your the first person to notice, they don't know what they're in for!)

(( OOC: Perhaps only the first to comment, but a legion of invisible rabbit polterghiests? Together with my action hero punnery...it'll be long odds...but that's the way I like'em. Ha Ha! *takes up an Errol Flynn pose* ))

"My...God!" uttered General Petrov from behind a glowing screen. Beads of sweat rolled down his cheeks, collecting at his chin and cascading down onto the desk. It all came down to this...this fery moment where real men are made and panzies are made fun of, "You sunk my battleship!"

His voice echoes dramatically as he shoots up from his chair and raises his fists into the air angrily.

"Ha-haa!!" Proudly exclaimed President Dimitri Nevsky, "Now you have to sing: I'm a Little Tea Pot, at the next cabinet meeting!"

"Damn, you're good at this game, Mr.President" Petrov admitted, now regaining his nonchalant attitude. He grunted slightly and sat back down.

"Only if conflicts could be solved through a harmless game of Battleship" nevsky sighed, dreaming of a bright future where board games could alter foreign policies.

Suddenly, the President's secretary, Lydia Jarlow exploded through the door with an urgent message.

"Mr.President, we just recieved this letter from a little girl in New Archangel who is appealing to you to save the Easter Bunny from the cluches of The People's Justice!" Lydia said in dramatic fashion.

"The Easter Bunny is...imprisoned?!" Nevsky replies hurt. It's like everything he loved in the world was just thrown into a pile of rusty barbed-wire. 'We have to do something about this!"

"I have the answer..." Petrov stands up as dramatic music plays "We need our top specialist...Dutch Manstrong!"

Caster Oblivion sat in his office, looking at an awesome spectacle. Before him was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes upon. It was sweating, just purchased from a proper dealer. Ready, willing, and able to please all his desires in one use. It was so wonderful to finally have this in his hands. He would enjoy it, all night long, and perhaps half of tomorrow before he discarded it for another piece of heaven.

You could see the naked texture if you looked hard enough, the willing posture his prize presented before him. It was so lustful, so ready, so wanting him. He had to take it, had to claim it as his own. He couldn't just sit here while she begged for him, knowing all too well he would use her to his personal limit.

Yes....She was his now....

POPuuussshhh...

The Vodka came to his lips in pure ecstasy, a piece of orgasmic bliss. Its taste, indescribable. Its instant effect, a cooling sensation all through-out his body. All these beautiful ladies gave the same result, pure pleasure. Taking another swig, he sighed happily. This was heaven!

Suddenly a secretary burst through his door, and he hid his naked bottle away. "What is it?!"

"Someone has taken the Easter Bunny hostage!" She proclaimed loudly.

"Dear God," he took another swig of his vodka, "Call..."

The Entire room fell silent. The secretary waited for his response, willing to make it happen. He looked directly at her, knowing she was waiting. The light fell from his face, dark and gloomy. He puffed in a breath, and sighed. Nothing could save the easter bunny now, expect one man.

"Turn the Signal on, Mary," he finally said. "Its time to call Chuck Norris!"

Dominion Intelligence Minister Alyssa McCall strode into the President's office, and threw a report on his desk, "Well sir, what are we going to do about this? I would advise sending in the Black Ops to-Mr. President? MR. PRESIDENT THIS IS NOT FUNNY! Think of the children!"

Wiping a tear from his eye and calming down, President R.L. closed the folder and handed it back to her, "Really Minister, what do you propose we do? Send a children's crusade? Write a really angry letter? Personally, I despise the Easter Bunny. Why, the devilish little creature is unofficially responsible for the deaths of thousands of people over the years.

You don't really think that under that adorable fuzzy veneer is an equally adorable personality? He's a menace! Him and that damn fat guy at the North-"

"MR. PRESIDENT!"

"What? It's true! Surely you've seen the 'M' Files in our archive? They're worse than vampires! Zombies even! At least those you can kill! Well, sort of. I mean, they're already dead and-"

"Cutting this monologue short," Alyssa chimed in, "I'll get to the point: we're not doing anything, are we?"

"Heck yeah we are! Get the Black Ops ready! I want him tried and executed here!"

"Sir, we're not a corporate police state anymore. There is no more Secret Police. We're a democracy remember? And do you really want to be the President who let the Easter Bunny die?"

"Meh, it's my last term. Ready the team, I guess I'll say something in the bastard's defense..."

Throwing up her hands, Alyssa stormed out of the room.

"He's always like this around the holidays..." she muttered to herself.

Still chuckling over the rise he got out of the Intelligence Minister, R.L. began to type and soon enough he sent a message to the People's Justice:

To the People's Justice
From: The Dominion
It has come to our attention that you are detaining the charming holiday creature known as the Easter Bunny. The Dominion must express its sincere disdain at this course of action. Surely you realize that all he wants to do is supply candy to the good little boys and girls of the world?

He is a holiday symbol, nay, an international icon, nay yet again, a true hero! We advise that you release and let him be on his merry way, as he has not yet come to the Dominion, and the President can be very irritable when he doesn't get his chocolate bunny. He may even be so angry as to order mean men with guns to slip in and liberate said rabbit. So please, think long and hard on whether or not the Easter Bunny is truly guilty of these crimes.

Somewhere Dangerous...

"So...we meet again, Mr.Manstrong" said a man in a thick Spanish accent. He stroked his goatee menacingly.

"For the last time, Rojas!" Dutch replied, bound by heavy rope tied tightly around his body. Armed guards surrounded him, carrying AK-47's and looked very mean.

"Indeed" Rojas agreed as he circled around Dutch, enjoying having his main tormentor finally in captivity and about to be destroyed. "Now, you'll tell me what I want to know"

"Never!" Dutch shouted, the veins in his neck almost exploding in fury.

"Yes you will!" Rojas pointed at him, "You will tell me what President Nevsky's favorite color is or you will suffer a fate worse than death!"

"I'll never betray my country" replied Dutch with a cliche statement. He struggled to break free but someone used a double knot on the rope, it's impossible to break!

"Tell me what I want to know!" Rojas demanded as he smacked Dutch across the face again and again, "If you don't tell me, I'll give you a paper cut!"

"Never" Dutch steeled himself for brutal torture.

"Fine, Mister Man...have it your way" Rojas snapped his fingers and an armed guerrilla entered the room with a piece of paper. Several men grabbed Dutch's one arm and held it out as the fighter slit the paper across the webbing between his fingers.

"NOOO!!!" Dutch cried in anger as he struggled to free himself, "You'll pay for that!"

Five seconds later...

The communicator attachment to his watch began to sound. Dutch Manstrong stepped over a pile of bodies and past a raging fire and clicked the screen of his watch.

"Dutch Manstrong...your country needs you, are you busy?" asked President Nevsky

"No, I had a little business to take care of, but now I'm free till lunch"

"Damn, then we have to make this quick. We need you to save the Easter Bunny!"

"The what? The Easter Bunny?" Dutch seemed befuddled.

"Dammit, we don't have time for explinations. The Worker's State needs you, nay, the world needs you once more!"

((( OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?! I want a Chuck signal!)))
(((Also, I love this thread so much, I want to marry it and raise a little family of threads.)))

((( OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?! I want a Chuck signal!)))
(((Also, I love this thread so much, I want to marry it and raise a little family of threads.)))

OOC: Back off, the threads with me!:mad:

((( *slaps Kulikovia with glove* I challenge you, sah, to pistols at dawn! May the best man (who will be me, babeh) win!)))

OOC: Back off, the threads with me!:mad:

OOC:

No, both of YOU back off. I have the Chuck signal!

OOC:

No, both of YOU back off. I have the Chuck signal!

OOC: No one can beat the ultimate 80's action hero parody Dutch Manstrong! Not even Chuck Norris!

((( *slaps Kulikovia with glove* I challenge you, sah, to pistols at dawn! May the best man (who will be me, babeh) win!)))

OOC: I hope you trip and stub your toe on the way to the duel!

(( OOC: What devilry have I birthed? ))

Quigley looked about at the thin air. He feared this would happen. His mere presence, the revelation of his power was sliding the world into a parody of itself. They were all in for it now. This wasn't a B, a C, or even a D universe. No, they'd gone straight to PLAID. He sighed heavily and turned to address his crack squad of highly trained and highly expendable commandoes and, oh yes, Miss Jessica Lepur. "Alright, people, let's get this training montage on the road! We haven't got more than an hour or so left!"

The Worker's State of Kulikovia's: Bad Stuff Warning System has elevated the warning level to: BLACKWATCH PLAID!!!

Elwood P. Dowd got off a chartered plan in the Peoples Justice. He stood, holding open the door to the MD-80, for 10 minutes. Then he closed the door and began speaking to the tarmac at the bottom of the airplane steps thingy, "Are you sure about this Harvey?" ... "Well if you say so, then yes I will come with you," Elwood entered the terminal and started his way though customs. He lost Harvey, and the others, but was able to meet up with them on the other side. From there, the went out side, to the awaiting chartered bus. Elwood talked to the bus driver as Harvey and his friends took they're seats, then he sat down, and the bus was off to it's destination, the Government offices. Once there, Elwood walked up to the desk, and asked for the office of the leader of the Peoples Justice. "Tell him that Harvey, Elwood, and Harvey's friends have arrived, on the matter we discussed in my letters," Elwood said.

TO: The International Community

After careful consideration and intensive integration we the Internal Security Forces of The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice find the accused Mr. E. Bunny not guilty for the crimes listed below.

Military espionage
Conspiracy to cause acts of terrorism
The Deaths of 17 of our military personal

In light of this new information we The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice will release Mr. E. Bunny so that he may go free and continue to make children happy all over the world.

Furthermore we The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice would like to apologise to Mr. E. Bunny for any misunderstanding.

TO: The International Community

After careful consideration and intensive integration we the Internal Security Forces of The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice find the accused Mr. E. Bunny not guilty for the crimes listed below.

Military espionage
Conspiracy to cause acts of terrorism
The Deaths of 17 of our military personal

lol

OOC: This is very funny.......:D

Quigley looked over his ragtag group of commandoes and the indominatable Miss Lepur. That five minute training montage had done wonders. They'd coalesced as team, and Quigley figured that he and Jessica had come to an understanding, perhaps if he got another montage started...with a slow, power ballad maybe she and he could...

A Lieutenant drove up and ran quickly, happily yelling out the news. "It's over! The Easter Bunny is free!"

For all their vaunted discipline, the commandoes broke out in a chorus of howls and cheers. Quigley looked over at Jessica. She smiled warmly, but Quigley knew it would go no further than that. They just weren't meant to be. Anyways...he was partially worried that any further music in this universe would only lead to a musical number.

OOC: Maybe I should have Santa Claus arrested for entering houses. :D

To: The People's Justice

The Republic of Saratogar fully supports your actions against the Easter Bunny. Saratogar knows first hand what these situations are like, last Christmas Santa Claus was arrested and sentenced to spen the rest of his life in Solitary Confinement for breaking into a house via the chimney.

The Easter Bunny has commited many crimes in Saratogar including clogging public toilets and owning a Paris Hilton C.D. If your nation decides to bulk, Saratogar will be willing to take the Easter Bunny into custody.


With All Due Respect,

Pres. David Dunn
President of the Republic of Saratogar

ISEC NEWS

http://www.unicef.org/spanish/media/images/vnp_opt_6919-1.jpg
Indonesia's children rejoice as the find out that the Easter Bunny will be freed

"Today, nation known as the People's Justice has officially let go Easter Bunny, after arresting him for numerious offences. These offences include: Military Espionage, Conspiracy to cause acts of Terrorism, and killing 17 of the People's Justice military personnel. People immidietly knew this couldn'tbe true, because the Easter Bunny did not hurt anyone. Under pressure from various "Childrens Military" groups, as well as the rest of the International community, they were forced to let the Easter Bunny go, so kids can eat chocolate eggs for years to come."

*Insert witty, sarcastic post here*

No one would ever know it, nor could they fathom the awesome power. But Chuck Norris and Dutch Manstrong had used their l33t powers of awesomeness to transport into the Office of the Armed Republic President and hold him hostage with thousands of Bradey Bunch reruns until he decided to release the easter Bunny. The unfortunate 17 Military Personnel killed was because Chuck had accidentally stared at the seventeen men. The side effect of such a stare was that every one of them collapsed while spontaneously combusting into flames, all the while screaming for mercy from the mighty Chuck.

Dutch had commented that Chuck should wear glasses from now on. Chuck Norris Approved.

read the posts, man. He aleady released the bunny. Chuck Norris and his stare of doom can fight elsewhere...holy crap combusting into flames! I agree, shuck norris should wear these: :cool:

read the posts, man. He aleady released the bunny. Chuck Norris and his stare of doom can fight elsewhere...holy crap combusting into flames! I agree, shuck norris should wear these: :cool:


Well I know, but WHY did he release the bunny? Obviously Chuck Norris and Dutch Manstrong had SOMETHING to do with it!

the children would slowly kill them by hitting with dolls and the soldiers have could do nothing - if they shot one, I, along with my allies, would invade with our superior armies.

Naturally, 80's action movie parody Dutch Manstrong is a very imposing person. Not to mention he loves the Easter Bunny and would massacre a whole city to save this cherished icon.

TO: The International Community

After careful consideration and intensive integration we the Internal Security Forces of The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice find the accused Mr. E. Bunny not guilty for the crimes listed below.

Military espionage
Conspiracy to cause acts of terrorism
The Deaths of 17 of our military personal

In light of this new information we The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice will release Mr. E. Bunny so that he may go free and continue to make children happy all over the world.

Furthermore we The Armed Republic of The Peoples Justice would like to apologise to Mr. E. Bunny for any misunderstanding.

We ask that you immediately send Mr. E. Bunny to Tel Agarak so that we may try him for the crimes he is accused of here. We also want the international community to see that he will not surely be punished, he will have a fair trial and punishment will occur if he is found guilty.

Mikhail Haird
Tel Amur Empire

We ask that you immediately send Mr. E. Bunny to Tel Agarak so that we may try him for the crimes he is accused of here. We also want the international community to see that he will not surely be punished, he will have a fair trial and punishment will occur if he is found guilty.

Mikhail Haird
Tel Amur Empire

To: International Community
Subject: Global Law On The Imprisonment Of Holiday Dieties

The Ustian Government proposes global legislation against the imprisonment of holiday entities. All those in favour, say "aye"

Supporters So Far:
-Ustio North
-
-

We ask that you immediately send Mr. E. Bunny to Tel Agarak so that we may try him for the crimes he is accused of here. We also want the international community to see that he will not surely be punished, he will have a fair trial and punishment will occur if he is found guilty.

Mikhail Haird
Tel Amur Empire

Like Hell you'll take him! We're putting the Easter Bunny under the Bunny Protection Program. He'll be given a new identity and a new life, somewhere safe from the really mean people of the world.

Dutch Manstrong is going to wage a one-man war against Tel Agarak!

Elwood P. Dowd, and Harvey, greeted the Easter Bunny, and agreed to escort him, back to the Beatus, where he would come to dinner at Elwood's House, and meet Elwood's sister Veta, her daughter Myrtle Mae, Dr. Chumley, his medical partner Dr. Sanderson, and Miss Kelly a nurse. They returned to the airport, boarded the chartered plane, and were on they're way back to the Beatus.

Suddenly, one of the passengers on the plane by a window seat screamed.
"Oh my god! It's... it's... Santa!" The man fainted.

"Ho, ho, ho, b****s!" Santa pressed a button on his sled and the two QAAM missiles launched towards the plane. Then, pressing another trigger, the sled's forward Vulcan cannon opened up on the plane. "Soon I shall be the only holiday being in ze world!" He tweaked his mustache.

The plane crashed in the Beatus, luckily Elwood had read all the safety procedures, and was prepared for such an event. He, Harvey, and the Easter Bunny survived. They walked away from the crash, and looked up at Santa. They waved at him to land, so they could talk.

The sled smashed into the ground and Santa leapt out.
"E Bunny! There is only one way to settle this! No talking! Only MORTAL KOMBAT!" Santa pointed his hand at the Bunny and a spike on a rope flew out.
"Get over here!"

The Easter Bunny twitched his cute button nose. His whiskers rose as he grinned, and then disappeared. One does not try to use such tactics against a minor diety with the powers to reshape time and space around him so he can deliver colored eggs and candies to the children of the world in one morning.

As to why he hadn't used these powers to avoid capture....>_> <_< He wanted to see if people still have the Easter Spirit inside them. Levied and emboldened by the outpouring of support for his released, he appeared behind the Evil Santa Clone, because the real Santa would never do such naughty, mean, nasty things. He dropped into a fighter's stance and beckoned the Evil Santa Clone. "You want an omlette, you gotta crack some eggs, Fat Man. And you'll be the first I crack."

"You want an omlette, you gotta crack some eggs, Fat Man. And you'll be the first I crack."

Santa suddenly turned into a dragon.

"Mr. Clause," Elwood said. "I would like to introduce you to Harvey," he continued, gesturing to the empty space next to him.

"Mr. Clause," Elwood said. "I would like to introduce you to Harvey," he continued, gesturing to the empty space next to him.

Santa roared and breathed fire at the spot where Elwood pointed.
"RAR AH MUNNA EEE CHU!!!" Bad grammar and syntax fell from his evil maws as he changed from a Dragon into that most feared of all animals...
An LolCat Thesarus.
He attempted to bite the EB.

Suddenly, one of the passengers on the plane by a window seat screamed.
"Oh my god! It's... it's... Santa!" The man fainted.

"Ho, ho, ho, b****s!" Santa pressed a button on his sled and the two QAAM missiles launched towards the plane. Then, pressing another trigger, the sled's forward Vulcan cannon opened up on the plane. "Soon I shall be the only holiday being in ze world!" He tweaked his mustache.

QAAM missiles? Ah, someone has been playing Ace Combat I see XD

QAAM missiles? Ah, someone has been playing Ace Combat I see XD

OOC: Yup. CFA FTW!

Seconds after Santa attempted to attack Harvey, a a six-foot, three and a half-inch tall rabbit, dressed in a suit, and wearing a hat, with holes for his ears, appeared in front of Santa.

I think I just lost my sanity...

Suddenly, up from the rainbow, seven midgets in green come flying down towards Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

"Eat Lucky Charms, Will ya?!?!? They're magically delicious!" They said as colorful shaped marshmallows and cereal pieces flew towards the other holiday creatures, giving them mini bruises on their arms.

Suddenly things got very cold and a freezing mist arose from the ground. Appearing from the mist, a man appearing to be made of snow and ice, Jack Froste.
"Okay Santa, leave this rabbit to me, before you both get hurt."
Froste raised his hand and a beam of ice proceeded out of it, freezing the dragon/Santa into solid ice and extinguishing his fires.

The Sangon smashed out of the ice.
"DO NOT WANT!" He thrashed around, and suddenly the world cracked into, a team of flamingo's discovered the meaning of life, frogs did fractions, omlette fell from the sky and England won the World Cup. Santa was replaced by a man in a black cape and hat, with an evil mustache. EB would find himself tied to some magically appeared train tracks wearing a pink floral dress while a steam train very slowly hurtled towards him. "I CAN HAZ BUNNYBURGER KTHXBI!" A pianist also appeared, playing ragtime music.

A 7/11 Somewhere...

Dutch Manstrong walked to the back where the refrshment center was. He eagerly grabbed a large cup and placed it under the nozzle from a Tasty Slushie machine. His favorite flavor was Rockin' Raspberry. He depressed the button and nothing came out.

"What the fuck?!" Manstrong exclaimed dramatically, veins in his neck expanding from anger. Without warning, three ninjas came out of nowhere and so began a highly choreographed fight scene that's too complicated to write out and I'm starting to develope wrist pains from writing his exploits...which are many.

Seventeen Seconds Later...

"Next time, you check to make sure you're fully stocked!" Manstrong warned the scared cashier who huddled beneath the counter. The rest of the store was in ruins and a ninja hanged from the ceiling on fire.

A figure in long duster stood silhouetted against the setting sun. His brown fedora shielded his face. He spread his boots shoulder width apart, the out of place spurs on his heels clinking. As he looked up, the face of Matthew Quigley was revealed, and a gust of phantom wind blew from behind him. A tumbleweed blew out from nowhere in this temperate woodland. That tended to happen when he decided to put on capes or long coats, the reality bending forces around him started creating minor weather systems around him in attuned to his badassity.

Quigley knew this was getting out of hand. The universe had already devolved past Blackwatch Plaid and was settling into the rediculousness of Carolina Tartan. His hard blue eyes slowly took in the minor mythical figures, Mr. Dwood, and the indomintable Harvey, yes he could see Harvey.

"This stops now."

The man looked at Matthew with his sideways.
"?" He then threw a bucket at the man and a Lolrus fell from the skies.
"MAH BUKKIT!" The lolrus then attempted to squish Matthew.

Angles Sang Out,
In an Immaculate Chorus.
Down from the Heavens,
descended Chuck Norris.
Who delivered a Kick,
That could Shatter bone,
Into the crotch,
Of the Santa Claus Hoe.
Who fell on the ground,
Writhing in Pain,
As the Easter Bunny Turned Back,
Into a cute little Kitty.
But Chuck saw through,
His clever disguise,
And crushed the Easter Bunny's head,
In between his thighs.

This is the Ultimate Insanity, of Ultimate Holiday Deities. Who will Survive? Only Chuck Norris can decide!

OOC:

All respects to Lemon Demon! Hail the Lemon!

Quigley looked up comically as a shadow grew around him. His mouth hung open for a moment before he deftly jumped to the side. He got to his knees and dusted himself off, glaring at the Sangon. "Fat lot of good that did ya."

He tried to spring foward at Sangon and was yanked off his feet as his duster was caught under the Lolrus. "Gack!" The hero yelped as he sank undiginified into the mountain of blubber.

After his run-in with the ninjas and the confrontation with their sexy yet still lethal lady ninja in Lucky Stiff Motel room, Dutch manstrong remembered that he had to save the Easter Bunny or something like that. So, he headed to a conveniently placed AirForce Base and boarded a plane that was outfitted like that one movie with Steven Seagal and Kurt Russel...You know, thew one with those terrorists on the plane that prayed just before they killed somebody.

He successfully boarded the plane and produced a combat knife and sliced someone wide open out of reflex.

A mutant chef served Dutch some red jelly.
"This is not a jelly! This is A TOTAL JELLY!" His head suddenly popped and suddenly a predator decloaked in front of Dutch.
"Click click click, holmes."

The lolrus picked up its bucket and happy walked away. Or flippered away. However, Matthew was now surrounded by an army of penguins. A cat walked forward.
"Good evening sir. I'm Tabs, and these are my minions. Now then, I do believe you allowed a certain walrus to reclaim his bucket. I'm afraid that my associates do not like that. ATTACKS!" Tabs was suddenly eaten by an Alien queen, who preceeded to make Penguin/Xenomorph hybrids. Soon, there was an army of Alien Penguins. Satan smashed out of the Earth, looked around and said, "...Um, I think I hear my mother calling. Woop woop woop woop *fades*" The pengaliens screeched and attacked.

Unfortunately, Mister Manstrong had, by mistake, boarded the Catawaban Kangaroo transport aircraft that been airlifting Quigley's commandoes to effect the Easter Bunny's rescue against the orders of the Miraade. The first commando that Dutch met had simply raised a hand to stop him and instruct him that this was a Catawaban Air Force aircraft, and that civilians weren't allowed on board. Or was it that civilians were allowed and the commandoes weren't? He started dithering with his squadmates trying to remember the Colonel's orders right before Dutch Manstrong gutted.

The commando noted as he looked down at his uniform that he'd told Colonel Quigley was not a redshirt like the Colonel had contintually claimed it was. But 'lo and behold, it was a red shirt now. Fancy that, the Colonel was a prognosticator, the commando thought as he fell backwards.

~~~~

Quigley spun around with flourish as his duster floated out to reveal a pair of large revolvers. He hauled those gleaming silver revolvers and fired to his sides as the pengaliens buried him in their horde.

"I hate red jelly, what the fuck is this?!" Manstrong sensed there was a trap, like all 80's action heros, he managed to jump out of the way, using an elderly woman as a human shield. Her head exploded and it looked really cool.

*Cue fight music*

Manstrong did several combat rolls and pulled a serated knife from his boot and started to kill stuff. Suddenly, a King Cobra emerged from an overhead storage bin and coiled around his arm. With the free arm, he kept the cobra at bay as they tossed and struggled down the aisle. Soon, he freed himself of the cobra and killed it.

"I'm tired of these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!" cursed Samuel L. Jackson as he removed headsets from his ears.

"What were you doin?" Manstrong asked.

"I was watching Madagascar. That movie cracks me up...muthafucka" Samuel L.Jackson replied.

The predator ate Samuel Jackson's head for his poor performance in Coach Carter then fired 200000000 laser bolts at Dutch before blowing up in a nuclear explosion. Just then however, the plane from Stealth flew directly underneath Dutch.

Dutch Manstrong stood befuddled for a few moments, trying to think of something to say, "Uh...I'm past my line quota. Usually I only say a few lame catch-phrases or somehting that pertains to the current situation, mixed in with a couple shouts of No! i normally don't talk this much. Most of the time I'm either doing montages, action sequences, or having sex"

The plane stopped for a moment.
"Oh. Ok." Suddenly Rocky, Scarface and Trinity appeared.
"We cool? That's all of it. Of course, you could just dress up as an old lady and split in two."

The White House...

President Bush and President Nevsky held an emergecy meeting today to discuss retaliation possibilities against the guys who captured the Easter Bunny, even though they released the rabbit. To help them think, the two world leaders cleared off the desk in the Oval Office and they began a game of finger football. Bush fucked up and formed his hands into a goal as Nevsky stood the paper football up on a corner and aimed in for the winning goal. He flicked it wioth enourmous stength and it smacked Bush against the forehead, causing him to reel back in his seat.

"Ow, that really stung" Bush said.

"Stop being a pussy, loser" Nevsky stood up and began a victory dance.

Meanwhile...

Manstrong had to think of a plan. This was the hard part: Thinking. An 80's action movie icon like himself were from a time of one-liners and drawn out and bloody action scenes.

"Dammit, I'm really thirsty. Saving the world has parched my throat" Manstrong said.

"Hey, guys! Hold it, will ya?" A voice cried out from under the pengaliens. The arctic fowl/xenomorph hybrids looked at each other sqwacking and hissing at each other before unpiling off Quigley. He got up, looking remarkably clean and well off for a man that had been pengalien piled.

He looked around at the pengaliens. "Okay, I'm not raggin' on y'all. You lot are a bunch of upstanding fowl/monster chimera that God never wanted to let live, but yer a bunch of working stiffs like me, ain't ya?"

The pengaliens sqwahissed, that being the best word to describe the sounds they made, and nodded in agreement. Quigley holstered his revolvers. "I thought so, and y'all can see what a hell in a handbasket, hemi-cred, Mickey Mouse square dance this has all become?" A chorus of sqwahisses agreed with him.

A spokespengalien sqwahissed a statement from the horde.

"Yeah, like ya said, 'it's like the writers don't just give a damn anymore.' I couldn't agree more." He straightened his fedora. "Come on, pards. Let's swing by my Kangaroo, see if any of my squads left, y'all can have the parts that ain't movin' no more." That excited the ravenous half-penguins. "We'll pick up Miss Lepur, you'll like her...not sure if she'll like y'all...and I'll buy everyone a round of whatever y'all like."

The spokespengalien sqwahissed a question. Quigley shook his head. "Naw, the Tooth Fairy's payin' for all of this." That satified the horde, and they waddled after Quigley towards the nearest bar.

'Wait for me!" Manstrong held out his hand, "I want to come to, maybe there's some action at the bar. There's always something that needs to be blown up!"

A thing watched from the trees. A being of pure evil, so evil he brainwashed and ate children in their sleep. So evil, Chuck Norris was ever so slightly scared of him.
Mickey Mouse laughed. That fool Santa, soon, he shall perish along with the rest of them. Meanwhile, a meteor was hurtling towards earth, the Boar and Wolf clans fought the humans of Iron Town, Sonny was killed in an ambush, the AT-ST and stormtroopers of the Empire fought with the rebels, catching Dutch, Matthew and all the pengaliens, Batman appeared and used his anti evilhordesofpenguinalienhybrids spray and zombies rose fro the grave.

OOC: Okay, I'm running out of sanity.

A thing watched from the trees. A being of pure evil, so evil he brainwashed and ate children in their sleep. So evil, Chuck Norris was ever so slightly scared of him.
Mickey Mouse laughed. That fool Santa, soon, he shall perish along with the rest of them. Meanwhile, a meteor was hurtling towards earth, the Boar and Wolf clans fought the humans of Iron Town, Sonny was killed in an ambush, the AT-ST and stormtroopers of the Empire fought with the rebels, catching Dutch, Matthew and all the pengaliens, Batman appeared and used his anti evilhordesofpenguinalienhybrids spray and zombies rose fro the grave.

OOC: Okay, I'm running out of sanity.

"Look out! It's zombies!" Manstrong pointed out the obvious. Due to the magic of film editing, he produced an M60 with belts of ammo around his chest and started to bring a world of pain on those motherfuckers. He fired and fired until the machine gun turned red hot...then he fired some more, tearing them to shreds.

OOC: Sanity's overrated, you nancy!"

"Good, a voice of reason," Elwood said. "We were simply taking the Mr. Bunny to dinner, when Mr. Clause attacked our plane. Me and Harvey were trying to stop these lunatics from destroying the world with they're evil, manly, psychotic, angriness." Harvey simply nodded, visible only to Elwood, Santa, and the that new guy.

(Shall I break out the sandwich bread anyone? Everyone likes Spam!)

A thing watched from the trees. A being of pure evil, so evil he brainwashed and ate children in their sleep. So evil, Chuck Norris was ever so slightly scared of him.
Mickey Mouse laughed. That fool Santa, soon, he shall perish along with the rest of them. Meanwhile, a meteor was hurtling towards earth, the Boar and Wolf clans fought the humans of Iron Town, Sonny was killed in an ambush, the AT-ST and stormtroopers of the Empire fought with the rebels, catching Dutch, Matthew and all the pengaliens, Batman appeared and used his anti evilhordesofpenguinalienhybrids spray and zombies rose fro the grave.

OOC: Okay, I'm running out of sanity.

While Chuck Norrise was slightly scared of Mickey Mouse, never once did he show fear. So, like Chuck Norris, he aimed his finger at the Mouse, cocked it like a gun, and simply said....

"Bang."

The entire are within a hundred mile radius exploded in an atomic fireball so massive nothing could survive it, followed by the shockwave from a giant hand from Heaven confirming that Chuck had the powa to destroy! So yea, everybody died, expect Dutch Manstrong, who chuck happened to like.

"That was kick-ass!" Dutch Manstrong commented as he watched a huge area explode inton a furious fireball. These special effects for the film were really top knotch, "High-Five!"

So Dutch Manstrong and Chuck Norris did the coolest High-Five ever in the recorded history of High-Fives. Even better than the high-five between FDR and Winston Churchill at the Yalta Conference after they put a tack under Josef Stalin's seat.

Mickey Mouse stood in the blast, laughing maniacally.
"You fools! You foolish fools!" He began to levitate, pulsing green. He roared and jumped over a building in a single bound. He then attacked the Chuck using his evil undead supermouse powers.

Manstrong, sensing corporate evil in the air, instinctively threw himself infront of Chuck Norris as Micky Mouse lunged forth with his evil powers. Manstrong took the blow which caused him to hurtle backwards and into a concrete wall. His chest was nearly caved in but he somehow managed to survive, thanks to unrealistic writer techniques.

Harvey, a six-foot, three and a half-inch tall rabbit, dressed in a suit, and wearing a hat, with holes for his ears, appeared before Chuck, holding the body of Elwood P. Dowd. He just stared at him.