Allanea
16-03-2008, 10:36
Official Announcement of the Communist News Network
We are happy to announce the opening of the offices of the Communist News Network, straight in the very heart of capitalist imperialism and workers' oppression, in Liberty-City itself! Yes, comrades, our press rooms, our studios, our broadcast chambers are all located at our building at Dennis Kucinich Street, 6, Liberty-City, in motherfucking capitalist Allanea! Yes!
Unfortunately, we could not find an address named by someone properly communist in Liberty-City, so Dennis will have to do – though of course this street is far, far away from the city center – an amazing ten-hour drive! You see, the wretched den of scum and villainy that is Liberty-City simply has no decent public transport and is composed of mostly of low-density neighborhoods – a more biased network could even say that it's because capitalism fails at urban planning, but we at the Network won't.
At any rate, our network will continue to broadcast on IPTV and cable outlets, for the purpose of balancing the overall pro-capitalist, pro-Imperialist, and anti-worker bias that's become rampant in the Allanean press.
Our editorial board will take a stern, principled position for the planks of the Communist Manifesto : Abolition of property in land, a progressive income tax and an abolition of inheritance (or, barring that, an inheritance tax), creation of a national bank and a strong nationally-owned industry, the establishment of a national service obligation.
We further support a strong, publicly-owned system of mass transit (which should properly be referred to as public transport anyway), and finally the free education of all children in public schools.
We hope you will remain with us in our services.
We are happy to announce the opening of the offices of the Communist News Network, straight in the very heart of capitalist imperialism and workers' oppression, in Liberty-City itself! Yes, comrades, our press rooms, our studios, our broadcast chambers are all located at our building at Dennis Kucinich Street, 6, Liberty-City, in motherfucking capitalist Allanea! Yes!
Unfortunately, we could not find an address named by someone properly communist in Liberty-City, so Dennis will have to do – though of course this street is far, far away from the city center – an amazing ten-hour drive! You see, the wretched den of scum and villainy that is Liberty-City simply has no decent public transport and is composed of mostly of low-density neighborhoods – a more biased network could even say that it's because capitalism fails at urban planning, but we at the Network won't.
At any rate, our network will continue to broadcast on IPTV and cable outlets, for the purpose of balancing the overall pro-capitalist, pro-Imperialist, and anti-worker bias that's become rampant in the Allanean press.
Our editorial board will take a stern, principled position for the planks of the Communist Manifesto : Abolition of property in land, a progressive income tax and an abolition of inheritance (or, barring that, an inheritance tax), creation of a national bank and a strong nationally-owned industry, the establishment of a national service obligation.
We further support a strong, publicly-owned system of mass transit (which should properly be referred to as public transport anyway), and finally the free education of all children in public schools.
We hope you will remain with us in our services.