Velkya
09-03-2008, 19:41
"Velkyan Parliament Reaffirms Pledge To Keep Its Territory In Line"
Velkyan resolve in its possessions Is unwavering, says company executives
The Donnet Times, English Language Edition, X/X/XX, taken from donnetnews.efr, article written by Hans Siegfried
http://www.scurvoriginalz.com/image/29937639.jpg
Typical Allaneanoid man, unfortunately indigenous to the region. If one examines it closely one can spot a white material on its facial structure, indicating that he has just arrived home from his employment.
In a surprising but not totally unexpected turn of events earlier this week, the Velkyan Federal Senate (comprised of legislative and executive representatives of the sixteen different sovereign states of the Federation) voted to internationally reaffirm Velkya's complete and total sovereignty over the state of "Allanea", known in official diplomatic circles as 'The Barely Coherent Territory of Prepubescentelffantasyland', a pledge it has maintained since the formation of the Federation of Velkya in 1791.
Tensions between the international community and Prepubsecentelffantasyland have recently increased with the introduction of one Alexander Kazansky, who has, despite strict Velkyan laws prohibiting the sale of modems and computer components to Allaneanoids, declared himself to be the ruler of "Allanea" (the Allaneaoid term for Haven's official used contraceptive processing and sewage treatment plant) and insulted many actual international leaders over an official diplomatic message board.
Many were appalled by the man's ability to speak and write legible English, let alone use a keyboard (native Allaneanoids have fingers comparable to the size and mass of their members, and thus risk injuring themselves by attempting to strike the relatively large keys of a standard international keyboard). International outcry has been directed at the Velkyan management staff of the Prepubescentelffantasyland facility for allowing such a travesty to occur while under their supervision, and apologies from the aforementioned have been voluminous and sincere.
"We believe that the Allaneanoids were aided by outsiders hostile to the business of recycling and sewage treatment, possibly the Kahanistanis or Hatarians, and although both identified groups would hardly fare better in the operation of simple machinery, this hatred of basic necessities and a willingness to undermine and deny their usage to the superior peoples of Haven only shows that all three groups are enemies of civilization at large and should be dealt with appropriately."
Exactly what this 'dealing' would entail was not specified, although large quantities of MacGyver video disks and heterosexual pornographic materials have been airlifted to the region by Velkyan Federal Air Force transport aircraft, and it is a well known fact that these substances can be powerfully repellent to the average Allaneanoid and may be possibly used in ensuring compliance with the directives of local Velkyan soldiers and professionals. Meanwhile, the Velkyan Integrated Air Defense Command's Cyberwarfare Division has publicly announced the procurement of an unspecified but large order of militarized server units from the Marian Precision Computing corporation, presumably to disarm and prevent future Allaneanoid network usage.
Velkyan resolve in its possessions Is unwavering, says company executives
The Donnet Times, English Language Edition, X/X/XX, taken from donnetnews.efr, article written by Hans Siegfried
http://www.scurvoriginalz.com/image/29937639.jpg
Typical Allaneanoid man, unfortunately indigenous to the region. If one examines it closely one can spot a white material on its facial structure, indicating that he has just arrived home from his employment.
In a surprising but not totally unexpected turn of events earlier this week, the Velkyan Federal Senate (comprised of legislative and executive representatives of the sixteen different sovereign states of the Federation) voted to internationally reaffirm Velkya's complete and total sovereignty over the state of "Allanea", known in official diplomatic circles as 'The Barely Coherent Territory of Prepubescentelffantasyland', a pledge it has maintained since the formation of the Federation of Velkya in 1791.
Tensions between the international community and Prepubsecentelffantasyland have recently increased with the introduction of one Alexander Kazansky, who has, despite strict Velkyan laws prohibiting the sale of modems and computer components to Allaneanoids, declared himself to be the ruler of "Allanea" (the Allaneaoid term for Haven's official used contraceptive processing and sewage treatment plant) and insulted many actual international leaders over an official diplomatic message board.
Many were appalled by the man's ability to speak and write legible English, let alone use a keyboard (native Allaneanoids have fingers comparable to the size and mass of their members, and thus risk injuring themselves by attempting to strike the relatively large keys of a standard international keyboard). International outcry has been directed at the Velkyan management staff of the Prepubescentelffantasyland facility for allowing such a travesty to occur while under their supervision, and apologies from the aforementioned have been voluminous and sincere.
"We believe that the Allaneanoids were aided by outsiders hostile to the business of recycling and sewage treatment, possibly the Kahanistanis or Hatarians, and although both identified groups would hardly fare better in the operation of simple machinery, this hatred of basic necessities and a willingness to undermine and deny their usage to the superior peoples of Haven only shows that all three groups are enemies of civilization at large and should be dealt with appropriately."
Exactly what this 'dealing' would entail was not specified, although large quantities of MacGyver video disks and heterosexual pornographic materials have been airlifted to the region by Velkyan Federal Air Force transport aircraft, and it is a well known fact that these substances can be powerfully repellent to the average Allaneanoid and may be possibly used in ensuring compliance with the directives of local Velkyan soldiers and professionals. Meanwhile, the Velkyan Integrated Air Defense Command's Cyberwarfare Division has publicly announced the procurement of an unspecified but large order of militarized server units from the Marian Precision Computing corporation, presumably to disarm and prevent future Allaneanoid network usage.