NationStates Jolt Archive

Global News Network
All the news you need to know, 24/7, 365, live from our world headquarters in the City of the Blessed.

Breaking News 2-16-08 (1340)

The City of the Blessed-Forces in the Theocratic Republic of the Beatus have been put on high alert fallowing threats of an invasion by Nova Pictavia. The Theocratic Republic is taking the threat seriously, "We have considered the threats from Nova Pictavia credible, and as such are preparing to stop them. They're outlandish claims that we are planning to use nuclear weapons against them, are just plain insane, as we have no such weapons to use, in fact we don't even have nuclear reactors anymore after the Kruger Point incident," a Beatusian Government official told us today. As you all know Nova Pictavia is working with Akimonad to stamp out Communisim in Stoklomolvi and Yanitaria, who are both members of the New Oslo Pact(NOP), of which the Beatus, Kabavian, Soviet Aissur, the House of Boothby, and Oily Prata, are currently members. Nova Pictavia has withdrawn all Pictish citizens from NOP, and placed an trade embargo on all NOP nations. We will continue to keep you up-to-date on this volatile situation in Europa Atlantica, and all your other news from around the world.

Breaking News 2-17-08 (1105)

Eilífur-Peaceful protests, over the threats by Nova Pictavia, has turned to an all out riot in the streets in Eilífur. People are looting stores of known Pictish sympathizers, and are burning Pictish flags. One man who said, "Hey, maybe they all aren't that bad," was hung from a nearby oak tree by members of an angry mob. Violence like this, in the Theocratic Republic's most holy city have not been seen since the Kings forces attempted to ban religion, and ended up the start of a revolution which ended with the king being beheaded, and Edwardo Listless taking power. Many fear to think what these riots shall lead to, but we know one thing, it's probably not going to be good.

Breaking News 2-18-08 (2050)

Höfn-Reports have come in that a body has been unearthed at a construction sight near the docks in Höfn. Preliminary reports suggest that it is the body of famed 70's union leader, and suspected mafia leader, Timmy Goffa, who disappeared mysteriously from a restaurant parking lot in 1975. The building site was a factory that was owned by a known criminal with suspected mafia ties. Police say that DNA tests will be require to see if the body is actually that of Timmy Goffa, although, it appears to have been an execution style murder.

Breaking News 2-19-08 (1801)

Höfn-The Beatusian Paper Co. has reported that it lost contact with a Super Freighter carrying a lode of Paper. Schools nationwide are going to have to start canceling classes soon if that paper doesn't arrive. Most children nationwide are hoping that the paper won't come through, while the others are to busy studying for they're next big test. The company is not panicking yet, as the ship was in a bad storm, which could affect it's communications equipment.

News Headlines 2-20-08 (1752)

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SverðAfter the death of two people when ice feel from a skyscraper last year, the city has finally taken action, placing these(see above) signs around the city. They are predicted to reduce injury from falling ice, and other debris. "One problem solved, many more to go," said the director of the Sverð Public Works Dept. Next on the agenda, the big pothole issue.

ValdamikillThe subway system, that was preposed by Alderman Ned Stroger, has fallen on hard times. The proposal called for the county to raise the county sales tax 1.5%, bringing it to a new high of 18.5% to pay for the system, and the rest would go toward education. That would mean a total sales tax for residents of Valdamikill would be 35.5%, with a provincial sales tax of 2.5%, and a city sales tax of 14.5%. Citizens were outraged when they found out about this tax raise. After the number of county codes instituted to help the counties educational system, claiming to be "for the children," the citizens are still mystified that the educational system actually has less money than before. The citizens are baffled how legalizing, and taxing gambling, raising property tax 4%, raising income tax 5%, instituting a 1% tax on bottled water, raising property tax 10%, and instituting a corporate tax of 15%, all supposedly to fund the education system, and yet funds are down from last year over 300%. A local news station is advertising an expose on county spending, that will appear tonight at 10 o'clock.[/FONT]

Breaking News 2-27-08 (1719)

The City of the Blessed-President Jim Lange said, before a joint session of both the Brotherhood, and Conclave, "With the continual rise of tensions within Europa Atlantica, it is essential that we continue to support our military leaders, and they're requests for funds, equipment, and manpower. The commanders in the field know better than any of us here. I strongly urge you to pass law DF-114A, and give our commanders the power they need to defend us from any, and all threats." Law DF-114A would basically give the commanders of the Armed Forces a blank check for new equipment, research, and recruitment needs. Both the the Brotherhood, and Conclave will vote on this issue tomorrow, and then we shall all see just how influential the President is with this newly elected legislature.

Breaking News 2-27-08 (2158)

The City of the Blessed-At a unscheduled press conference that ended just moments ago, President Jim Lange announced that the Theocratic Republic of the Beatus would be withdrawing from the "New Oslo Pack" effective immediately due to a flood of call from concerned citizens about the recent threats made by a new organization called, the Atlantican Union. Both Houses unanimously approved the withdrawal, during an emergency session. They feel that it is in the best interest of the people that the Theocratic Republic remain neutral in this situation, but did warn that they're alliance with Stoklomolvi, still exists, and any assault on Stoklomolvi sovereign territory would mean that the Beatus would be forced to intervene. A travel ban was also enacted on all New Oslo Pact, and Atlantican Union nations, for anyone who is not a diplomat, and all citizens in Atlantican Union or New Oslo Pact nations have been cautioned that they should return to the Theocratic Republic immediately.

In the News 2-29-08 (1736)

The City of the Blessed-Noted Billionaire Jimmy James, owner of Jimmy James industries, sat down to talk with us yesterday, and we asked the hard questions, here are his answers,
GNN: How did you come to be the richest man in the Beatus, and own the largest corporation in the Beatus?
JJ: Well, it all started when I was in college. I was majoring in philosophy back then, and I though I was going to change the world. So one night I was up late, studying, and I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up half an hour before my test, and I really wasn't ready. I ended up failing the test, and dropping out of College, it was the best thing that happened to me, because without the responsibilities of college, and school work, I was able to develop the Jimmy James sleep and study system, which was my first patent, and sold over a 100 billion units to date world wide. From there, things just started coming to me, I'd read the newspaper, see an article about a failing business, and something in my gut would tell me, "you can do it, you can turn that business around," and I'd buy the thing, lay-off 75% of the employees, make it look like the thing was actually making a profit, when it was actually just making more money cause I laid all those people off, then dump int on some poor schmuck who didn't know any better, for a huge profit.
...
See more in next weeks issue of GNN Interviews Weekly.

Breaking News 3-02-08 (1702)

Höfn-Reports are coming from an expedition lead by famed Beatusian Jimmy James. He pioneered an expedition North into the Arctic ice fields. His ship, the S.S. Jimmy James has penetrated deep into the ice fields, and is now reporting great oil finds. The oil finds are being claimed by Jimmy James Industries, and it has been announced that work will start ASAP on the construction of oil rigs to develop these vast underwater oil fields. The price of gas has dropped $.05 on rumors of oil discovery, and within the year, this oil will be flowing into the Beatus. Jimmy James Industries also announced the construction of more refineries, that, if completed on schedule should be ready to receive the oil from the proposed oil rigs. In fact, Jimmy James Industries is already selling the oil that is still resting beneath the sea.

Breaking News 3-03-08 (2108)

The City of the Blessed-Rumors are flying after a press conference earlier today. A reporter asked "Where does government meat come from?" At that point, the CFDA(Chief of Food and Drug Affairs), ended the press conference and rushed away from the podium, through a plate glass window, and fell 20 floors to the sidewalk where he later died. Following the press conference, GNN launched an investigation into the FDAD(Food and Drug Affairs Division). We looked into the sources of government meat, cheese, milk, and pork, and we found nothing. We couldn't find a single document recording it's source, neither could we find any meat, cheese, milk, or pork that was unaccounted for. It's as if it just appears out of thin air, in the hospital and school cafeterias. We will continue to investigate this incident, while in the meantime, a new CFDA is being sought. Now we'll leave you with this question, "Where's the beef, coming from?"

Breaking News 3-22-08 (0158)

The City of the Blessed-Reports say shots have been fired on the Edwardo Listless Expressway. Preliminary reports state that Jim Lange's convoy was traveling from the airport to the Presidential Estate. We have no word of the condition of President Lange, or on who fired the shots. We have units en-route to the scene, and will continue to keep you updated on this breaking story, and remember, you heard it here first.

Live Report 3-22-08 (0206)

The City of the Blessed-We are broadcasting live from an overpass over the Edwardo Listless Expressway. The situation does not look good. We have identified two burning vehicles, as the escorts for the presidential limo, which is now surrounded by unidentified individuals. We cannot tell at this distance what they are doing, but they seem to be looking at something under the vehicle. Wait, they're all running away from the limo, and we can now see Beatusian Military vehicles approaching from the direction of the airport. It seems like this is going to have a happy ending. In the name of Bob! The limo has just exploded. Jim Lange's Limo, has just exploded. There is a flaming hunk of it has just landed not 10 feet away. Maybe he got out of the limo before we arrived. Bob willing he did. The soldiers are now exiting they're vehicles, and are pursuing the perpetrators into the forests to the north, while others are approaching the limo. Wait, a military vehicle is approaching our position now. We're going to have to stop broadcasting now, as the military wishes to question us, but stay with GNN as we continue to cover this developing story.