NationStates Jolt Archive

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/6967/p24chucknorrisintercontdm0.png


Height: 200 ft.
Weight: 1,465,000 lbs.
Diameter: 212 in.
Propellant (first stage): Ammonium perchlorate composite propellant
Propellant (second stage): Ammonium perchlorate composite propellant
Propellant (third stage): gyroscopic control; RP-1
Speed: Varying
Warhead: 90 megaton yield nuclear warhead
Tracking Systems: GPS, Short-Range RADAR
Price: $1.5 Billion USD per unit
DPR Price: 450 Billion USD
Description:

-General-
Think big. Think really big. The P24 Chuck Norris ICBM is a massive yield long range missile which is capable of achieving low earth orbit before descending to reek havoc on your target.

-Launch-

-Stage 1-
The Chuck Norris begins its launch at any ICBM launch point- a silo, or any such point. From there, the full weight of the ammonium perchlorate composite propellant pushes the missile roughly 75 miles up, and just below low earth orbit. Stage 1 then falls away, and Stage 2 takes over.

-Stage 2-
The second stage of the Chuck Norris is also an ammonium perchlorate composite propellant burning solid fuel rocket engine. This pushes the Chuck Norris the a further 75 miles into orbit, achieving approximately 150 miles total, or low earth orbit. From here, Stage 2 disengages, and Stage 3 takes it turn.

-Stage 3-
Stage 3 finally returns Chuck Norris to earth. The internal gyroscopic control rotates the missile until it is pointing towards the target, at which point the third stage rocket, which uses RP-1 liquid fuel, engages. This, combined with gravity, pushes the Chuck Norris back to earth, and to the the target.

-Stage 4-
Stage 4 finally engages the target with the Chuck Norris's 90 megaton yield warhead. Dropping from the sky thanks to stage 3's propulsion, it detonates, wiping out the target below.

-Construction-

-Assembly-
The body of the Chuck Norris is assembled from titanium-composite metals. The warhead is built from regular materials, and protected by pyrolytic graphite for heatshields.

-Electronics-
The Chuck Norris uses multiple internal guidance systems. In long range, it can be guided by an uplink to any GPS satellite. Within range of the target, it is guided by a GOT system which utulizes short range RADAR and homing devices.

Is there a Roundhouse Kick model? If so, what is the effective yield of this model?

Is there a Roundhouse Kick model? If so, what is the effective yield of this model?

We regret that the Chuck Norris ICBM currently has but one model, and assure you that at such times as such a model comes into existence, you will be dead, as Chuck Norris is behind you with a knife.

lol, man... lol.... :cool:

(bump)

We laugh at your pitiful missile, and wish to tell you that it would not stand a chance to our Govinator SLBM.

We wish to inquire as to the possibility of purchasing one of these "Chuck Norris" ICBMs so as we can test it and see how it preforms, though we have one request, could you swap the nuclear warhead with a conventional one?

We laugh at your pitiful missile, and wish to tell you that it would not stand a chance to our Govinator SLBM.

We thank you for your input, but regret to inform you that, unfortunately, "all your base are belong to us."

We wish to inquire as to the possibility of purchasing one of these "Chuck Norris" ICBMs so as we can test it and see how it preforms, though we have one request, could you swap the nuclear warhead with a conventional one?

Thank you for your order. The ICBM will be shipped to you posthaste. As per your request, the nuclear warhead has been exchanged for a HEAT warhead. We hope this is agreeable. The total charge comes to 1.5 Billion USD. Thank you for shopping with Ottomautics Weapons Inc.

We thank you for your input, but regret to inform you that, unfortunately, "all your base are belong to us."

Our response is, "somebody set up us the bomb."

Thank you for your order. The ICBM will be shipped to you posthaste. As per your request, the nuclear warhead has been exchanged for a HEAT warhead. We hope this is agreeable. The total charge comes to 1.5 Billion USD. Thank you for shopping with Ottomautics Weapons Inc.

No thank you, the money has been wired to your account. We shall consider purchasing more, after testing it, and comparing it to our Macgyver ICBM. If it is truly better we shall buy more, and if not, we shall most likely not return.

We thank you for your input, but regret to inform you that, unfortunately, "all your base are belong to us."



Thank you for your order. The ICBM will be shipped to you posthaste. As per your request, the nuclear warhead has been exchanged for a HEAT warhead. We hope this is agreeable. The total charge comes to 1.5 Billion USD. Thank you for shopping with Ottomautics Weapons Inc.
OOC: That's going in my sig.

Our response is, "somebody set up us the bomb."

Official Dominion Communications

Unfortunately, we have already moved the Zig for great justice.


OOC: Love the MS Paint! Any chance you could get his picture on that puppy?

How are you gentlemen!! You know what you doing?

Official Dominion Communications

Unfortunately, we have already moved the Zig for great justice.


Official Hegemonic Statement:

In response to the Dominion's decleration, the office of the Hegemon wishes to pose the following question:

What you say!?

OOC: Lol.. love the name.

OOC: This has gotta be the best idea I've seen on NS since New Dornalia made a Chuck Norris class Star Destroyer for FT...


However, what will you do when it's faced against the Bruce Lee ICBM?

(OOC: I'm seriously thinking on designing the "Snake Plissken" Electromagnetic Pulse MIRV ICBM now with a single slogan: "Welcome to the Human Race"* :D

*If you watched "Escape from LA" you'll know what I mean)

Official Dominion Communications

Unfortunately, we have already moved the Zig for great justice.


OOC: Love the MS Paint! Any chance you could get his picture on that puppy?

OOC: Thanks. Thats not a bad Idea. I think I'll get right on that...

OOC: This has gotta be the best idea I've seen on NS since New Dornalia made a Chuck Norris class Star Destroyer for FT...


However, what will you do when it's faced against the Bruce Lee ICBM?

OOC: Thanks. Actually, should it come up against the Bruce Lee ICBM, I know the Chuck Norris will win.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

OOC: As per Amazonian Beasts suggestion, I've added an image of Norris himself on the missile.

My God!:eek:

If this weapon fell into the wrong hands...they could bring the world to its' knees!

Kulikovia would like to order six missiles for...defensive purposes. The Chuck Norris Missile combined with our already existing MechaCheney robot, our military would become unstoppable! Muwahahahaha!!!

*Cue dramatic music*

The Bruce Lee ICBM wouldn't have a chance. Remember: If there was a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.

*groan*

My God!:eek:

If this weapon fell into the wrong hands...they could bring the world to its' knees!

Kulikovia would like to order six missiles for...defensive purposes. The Chuck Norris Missile combined with our already existing MechaCheney robot, our military would become unstoppable! Muwahahahaha!!!

*Cue dramatic music*

Thankyou. Your order has been accepted. The total comes to 9 Billion USD. Thankyou for shopping with Ottomautics Weapons Inc.

The Mr.T Balistic Missile Defense System is the latest in missile defense. It will pitty missile like fools out of the sky.

Warhead: 90 megaton yield nuclear warhead

OOC: Why, In the name of God, why is it 90 megatons? The most you would ever need, at most, is 20Mt. 2Mt is enough to wipe out most cities in NS... so again.... why 90 metagons? Just an excellent waste of time, money and resources really.

OOC: Why, In the name of God, why is it 90 megatons? The most you would ever need, at most, is 20Mt. 2Mt is enough to wipe out most cities in NS... so again.... why 90 metagons? Just an excellent waste of time, money and resources really.

OOC: Because its the Chuck Norris. Its really, really big. The purpose is not to be efficient, or to save resources. The purpose is massive destruction. Sure, its more then you need. But its the Chuck Norris.

(bump)

Chuck Norris is going to pay...

OOC: Because its the Chuck Norris. Its really, really big. The purpose is not to be efficient, or to save resources. The purpose is massive destruction. Sure, its more then you need. But its the Chuck Norris.


Thus really easy to shoot down, disable, track, you name it- the Chuck Norris can be a victim to it. Under fifty 20Mt nukes could obilerate a nation, litterally bring it to it's knees and make it ripe for conquest, what's more is that the fifty 20Mt nukes using a bog-standard, tried and tested and highly reliable delivery system would be sheaper and quicker to build than a single Chuck Norris.

Not only that, in order for your missile to survive then you will have to launch a lot of them against a well armed nation. Let's say you're launching them at me: I'm no god-mod so the nukes will hit their targets (it's more fun Rp too), but i'm no push over. Me and Damirez have one of NS' best satellite based missile defence network so you'll need well over three or four hundred of these missiles to effectively nuke me. So let's say you have the economy and civilian political support to build that many WMDs and you launch that many at me, you overwhelm the defence grid with sheer numbers but you lose 80-90% of the nukes.... already you have lost trillions and trillions of dollars on nukes that have proved worthless.

Your nukes land on all the major cities and known military bases, 90Mt per warhead, one warhead per target with maybe fifty to eighty surviving missiles. Simple overkill and a job that a 2Mt bomb could do, that's billions more down the drain. The net amount of megatons unleashed on Stevid comes to round 7200 when an overall of 90 (the same as just one of your Chunk Norris missiles) would destroy my nation. It's a waste my good friend.

The aftermath is much different and might actually turn to my advantage. Your economy is a wreak because it has been funding a bloated and useless nuclear program and you can not afford a campaign to invade me, even if you did have the money- the amount of raditation from just one of these missiles makes my country a "no go" zone so just think what 80 would do. I meanwhile would counter your move with nuclear submarines with good old fashion 50kt-20mt nuclear bombs. Devestate your nation and actually be favourites to invade and conquer it with just a small naval force.

God I love nuclear wars.... so easy plan.

Nothing against your missile mate, it has a right to be feared but more so by your own people than by mine. 90Mt is a waste of money- at most make it 30Mt. Bigger is not always better.