NationStates Jolt Archive

In light of the actions of Greston, we feel it only appropriate to offer an open contract for the head of the leader of Greston.

As such, we will offer a large amount of DoubleWidevillian Bucks for his head: 12.5 BILLION DoubleWidevillian Bucks.

Payment on receit of the head of the leader of Greston, after D.N.A tests confirm it is him.


"]12.5 BILLION DOLLARS FOR THE SEVERED HEAD OF THE LEADER OF GRESTON!!![/B]

With the goal of trying to put some wisdom into boneheads
Third Spanish 4chanTV /b/ Show
States(For the LULZ):

A glassed nuclear wasteland cannot afford 12.5 billion, because if your nation insists with this stuff that's what it might end becoming.

Oh, and before you put a bounty in my head for this advice, I went through 7 proxies to send you this message.

To The Retarded Assholes Living in Debris and Twisted Metal Called DoubleWideville,

My head must be very big if you are paying that much for it to be brought over to you. Now let me say this. The second one of you assholes are seen in our nation you will be dead. If you are to miracously get past my miles upon miles of soldiers, naval defenses, air craft defense, anti aircraft defenses, over a 800,000 mercenaries, thousands of Maldorians, and many other system, I my self, having military service, would put a bullet into the person trying to attack me. People have tryed to snipe me out in Shalrirorchia, some one tryed to shoot me in the stomach in The Latin Peoples, our own ex president attempted poison me, and you know what happened to all of them besides the beloved Michael Check? They all died. I kill 400 men by myself on the beaches of Shalrirorchia. If I survived that, I could survive some morons trying to kill me.

--President and Brigader John Batther

OOC: Can we please stop making these threads? And I can read fine, DWV, I don't need extremely large text.

OOC: Can we please stop making these threads? And I can read fine, DWV, I don't need extremely large text.

OOC: seconded.

To The Retarded Assholes Living in Debris and Twisted Metal Called DoubleWideville,

My head must be very big if you are paying that much for it to be brought over to you. Now let me say this. The second one of you assholes are seen in our nation you will be dead. If you are to miracously get past my miles upon miles of soldiers, naval defenses, air craft defense, anti aircraft defenses, over a 800,000 mercenaries, thousands of Maldorians, and many other system, I my self, having military service, would put a bullet into the person trying to attack me. People have tryed to snipe me out in Shalrirorchia, some one tryed to shoot me in the stomach in The Latin Peoples, our own ex president attempted poison me, and you know what happened to all of them besides the beloved Michael Check? They all died. I kill 400 men by myself on the beaches of Shalrirorchia. If I survived that, I could survive some morons trying to kill me.

--President and Brigader John Batther

The contract, nontheless, remains open to anyone whom can seperate your head from your body and deliver it to us here at DoubleWideville.
I am sure there will be some interested parties willing to take the chance.

To: Origin of bounty on Greston

Message:

Not only are you, once again, irritating powers everso much greater than you, but you are doing it with very large type. Which means that our comm techs will be irritated with you, because the font size dosen't matter in the slightest. To that end, if it was worth it, they would all jump on the chance of hunting down the origin of this message and teach the perpetrator how to use the computer correctly. But since it is more effort than it is worth we will leave you alive.

Incidentally, we look forwards to the bounty on our leader and hope it is more than the palty 12.5 billion dollars you have offered for Greston.

To Whichever Idiot is in Charge Over in DoubleWideville This Week,

We request that you stop making these insane threats, or we may be forced to turn our attention from the civil war in our nation, and come to separate your head from your body. Now we know that for this message you will probably put a bounty on Jim Lange's head, and we don't care, for you will never have his head. You may succeed in finding someone willing to attempt the task. They may even succeed in removing the head, but you will never see it, for once an attempt is made, your head will be rolling on the floor next to your body. We hope you understand. Thank you, and have a very insolent day.

Signed,
General Alfredo Bowman
General Simon Branch
Admiral Sigmund Kauffman
The Military Tribunal
The Republic of the Beatus

Official Statement of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant on the Terrorist Actions of DoubleWideVille

The Republic of ChristianFlorissant is appalled at the behavior of its fellow nation, The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville. The fact that one nation would dare to put a contract out on another nation's leader is criminal. The fact that this contract was put out by a nation claiming to be "holy" and whose profile credits that nation's government as "moralistic" is even more appalling. The hypocritical actions of The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville's government in put out these contracts had, in the eyes of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant, degrades The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville to no more than mob and its government to no more than a group of thugs.

Generally, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant is made up of a people and a government that desire peace between the nations of the world and us. Government officials work hard within the United Nations and on its own to spread goodwill throughout the world.

However, the people and government of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant are a Christian nation that also believes that there is a time a place for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" Edmund Burke once wrote that "When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle." In light of these statement, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant believes that the time has come to act.

Therefore, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant condemns The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville a terrorist state and, withing the guidelines of the United Nations, terminates all trade between The Republic of ChristianFlorissant and The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville. All ships from The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville are banned from entering ports of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant. All planes from The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville except those carrying out diplomatic missions are likewise banned from the Republic of ChristianFlorissant. All ships and planes from The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville currently with the Republic of ChristianFlorissant are required to depart within 48 hours of this time. Failure to depart peacefully from the Republic of ChristianFlorissant will result in forceful eviction.

Furthermore the Republic of ChristianFlorissant encourage all nations of the world to join it in this embargo against The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville. Should a coalition of the world's nation determine that more than an embargo in neccessary, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant will support them in this endeavor.

This concludes this official statement from the Republic of ChristianFlorissant. Goodnight and God Bless!

Crypto Furon
Spokeperson for the Republic of ChristianFlorissant.

An anonymous sculptor from Golugan's capitol city of Bloodkine has mailed a bust of the likeness of Greston's President and Brigader John Batther, along with a bill for 12.5 billion DWD.

The Empire mirrors its prior stance on these matters; we condemn government contracts on the lives of government officials of sovereign nations. Further such actions will result in the removal of Errikan security forces from the nation of DoubleWideville.

Official Statement of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant on the Terrorist Actions of DoubleWideVille

The Republic of ChristianFlorissant is appalled at the behavior of its fellow nation, The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville. The fact that one nation would dare to put a contract out on another nation's leader is criminal. The fact that this contract was put out by a nation claiming to be "holy" and whose profile credits that nation's government as "moralistic" is even more appalling. The hypocritical actions of The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville's government in put out these contracts had, in the eyes of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant, degrades The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville to no more than mob and its government to no more than a group of thugs.

Generally, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant is made up of a people and a government that desire peace between the nations of the world and us. Government officials work hard within the United Nations and on its own to spread goodwill throughout the world.

However, the people and government of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant are a Christian nation that also believes that there is a time a place for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" Edmund Burke once wrote that "When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle." In light of these statement, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant believes that the time has come to act.

Therefore, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant condemns The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville a terrorist state and, withing the guidelines of the United Nations, terminates all trade between The Republic of ChristianFlorissant and The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville. All ships from The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville are banned from entering ports of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant. All planes from The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville except those carrying out diplomatic missions are likewise banned from the Republic of ChristianFlorissant. All ships and planes from The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville currently with the Republic of ChristianFlorissant are required to depart within 48 hours of this time. Failure to depart peacefully from the Republic of ChristianFlorissant will result in forceful eviction.

Furthermore the Republic of ChristianFlorissant encourage all nations of the world to join it in this embargo against The Holy Empire of DoubleWideville. Should a coalition of the world's nation determine that more than an embargo in neccessary, the Republic of ChristianFlorissant will support them in this endeavor.

This concludes this official statement from the Republic of ChristianFlorissant. Goodnight and God Bless!

Crypto Furon
Spokeperson for the Republic of ChristianFlorissant.

OOC: Someone who quotes the Bible and Edmund Burke? My people should love you.

Highly Encrypted Message
To: The Republic of ChristianFlorissant
From: The Errikan Empire

Greetings, brothers in Christ! We have not heard from your nation in the past, but are impressed by what we have learned of you thus far; we would like to open diplomatic relations with your fine nation that we may develop a mutually beneficial relationship.

OOC: Someone who quotes the Bible and Edmund Burke? My people should love you.

Highly Encrypted Message
To: The Republic of ChristianFlorissant
From: The Errikan Empire

Greetings,, brothers in Christ! We have not heard from your nation in the past, but are impressed by what we have learned of you thus far; we would like to open diplomatic relations with your fine nation that we may develop a mutually beneficial relationship.

To: Leadership of The Holy Errikan Empire of Errikland
From: Elrabin Kelth, Minister of State for the Republic of ChristianFlorissant
Subject: Establishing Diplomatic Relations

On behalf of President Judson Moon, the Congress, and the people of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant, I would like to return the greeting to the nation of the Holy Errikan Empire of Errikland. We look forward to a long relationship with you not only as a fellow nation, but as nations bounded in the name of Christ. We open the diplomatic doors of the Republic of ChristianFlorissant to you and invite you to send ambassadors to negotiate treaties of trade, military, or possiblies alliance. Though the Republic of ChristianFlorissant is smaller then some its friendship, once gain, is solid. We look forward to hearing from you!

Yours in Christ,

Elrabin Kelth
Minister of State for the Republic of ChristianFlorissant
New Nazareth, ChristianFlorissant
In God We Trust!

Highly Encrypted Message

To: DoubewideVille
From: The Special Tactics Force, The Spire, Magna Polis

Greetings again. We would like to assist, again, in your contract. The same criteria from the Ryou operation exists. However, since Greston is a much more defended state, each of our operatives must be deployed miles away from each other, and each one will carry a small nuclear device that is rigged to insantly explode once the pulse monitors stop recieving a heartrate. For your safety, these will be activated once they are deployed, as to ease your transportation personnel's worries. The devices can also be deactivated, but the wearer must still be alive (Or else it'd blow, obviously) and a 45-digit code (Which is different for each device. The code can be found on the inner part of the chestplate armor, which is only visible once the armor is taken off, preventing defusing of the weapon without authorization) must be entered. Once again, of course, our Agents will be carrying weapons that are not exclusive to our country. They also will have Suicide Pills to kill themselves in only 5 seconds, that way the bomb cannot be defused. Also, payment for this mission and the Ryou mission must be dropped by hand to 4392, Street Corner Adress 83rd Street-N23, Magna Polis. The building is a Government Safehouse for such transactions.

Highly encrypted message

To: Leadership of DoubleWideville
From: His Holy Hand
Re: Leader's safety

We, members of His Holy Hand, are worried that the hostile attitude being displayed towards the leaders of DoubleWideville will lead to invasion of DoubleWideville. We are a small and secret society operating in the ASoGM, and wish to hide your leaders so that they may not be captured by the heathens, heretics, and infidels of the hostile nations. We can provide safe transport from DoubleWideville to the ASoGM, all documentation necessary to operate in the ASoGM, and safehouses for your protection. Weapons are easy to acquire in the ASoGM, so if that's one thing you need, that won't be a problem either. If you wish to take us up on our offer, please send an encrypted message back to us. Keep in mind that we are a secret society, so inquiries to officials will not be helpful, and may indeed harm our mission.

The contract, nontheless, remains open to anyone whom can seperate your head from your body and deliver it to us here at DoubleWideville.
I am sure there will be some interested parties willing to take the chance.

To The Retarded Assholes of The Debris and Twisted Metal Called DoubleWideville,

Ah, that may be, and the bounty upon your head, and King David are still set up. The parties interested in this will all invenitable die. I know you are religous, so let me say this, I hope you all go to Satan's Pride and Joy, Hell. Just like he, Lucifer, was condemned and exiled from Heaven, you shall be exiled from Earth, and will go to the same place as he did.

--President and Brigader John Batther

Official Reply from the Executive Government of the Motherland of Anagonia

To whomever it may concern,

It has come to our attention that something wondrous has happened. People paying for the death of other people! This concept is so new, so technologically advanced, that we must participate!

Wait...hold on a second...

We have just discovered that your money is useless, due to the fact that it actually equals one of our currency because of your Nuclear Wasteland. In case of the fact that you aren't the wasteland, we'll make all parties involved be wastelands. We haven't nuked in a while, and as such we are getting the "No-Death" syndrome.

However, upon further consideration, we might decide to just nuke the ones protesting this just for fun.

Yours never to hold,
Caster Oblivion
Chief of Foreign Relations and Activities

((OOC: DWV, I'd like to continue this op.))

OOC: Guys, can we please stop with these stupid threads. I swear I have seen 10 alone in the last three days, all oozing of noobishness. Now, if you want to continue you should all rp on one thread or two and not ten or however many you have.

OOC:
TPF,
DoubleWideville seem to not get what anyone is telling him about reading the Stickies (amoung other things). I just don't get why people keep showing interest in this threads when most of his threads are just retoric. I'm personally not going to RP with the guy anymore, he just doesn't get it when people try to help him.

OOC- He does have this thing going on about threatening nations whose resources are considerably greater than his own. His own nation has a population of 697 million, but Greston has 1.9 billion. Greston's old ally, Shalrirorchia, has 8.1 billion. I think he's crazy to throw threats around at such behemoths, but that's his prerogative.