NationStates Jolt Archive


Zombies Rise from the Grave

Chicahgo
17-01-2008, 02:04
Chicago Tribune Online Edition

Just one month after dismissing the 50 Alderman on the Chicahgo City Council, the city held elections to elect 75 people to rule over the new city state formed when Chicahgo, 9 Illinois counties, and 2 Indiana counties broke off from their respective governments to unify under one flag.

The election results are now in and Daley's political allies led by Todd Stroger have claimed a huge victory. There have already been allegations of massive voter fraud, and the allegations appear to have some basis to them.

Bus driver George Ryan claimed that his bus, which was to transport voters of the oppositoin, had its tires cut the night before. Other accusations have been made that dead people were on the voting rolls. Most of the accusations have come from Cook County. This paper can now confirm that indeed there were dead Cook County residents on the voter rolls. Most of them did show up at the correct polling places to cast their ballots for Daley allies.

Mayor Richard M Daley refused to answer questions during a press conference at City Hall. "I'm not in charge of the elections," was all Daley had to say in response to the numerous accusations of voter fraud.

Several lawsuits have already been filed by disgruntled voters. Unfortunately for the voters, the judges who will hear the cases are all judges appointed to the bench during Daley's 20 year tenure. It appears that Daley's years of practicing patronage in appointments will pay off for the veteran machine politician.
DJ_Enduro
17-01-2008, 02:07
(ooc: did that have anything to do with Zombies? 'Cause if not that was the best title you could give to anything you want someone to read.)
Chicahgo
17-01-2008, 02:22
OOC: This nation is a parody. Just as an FYI, the dead really do rise from their graves to vote in Chicago. It is a sad fact of life under the Daley Machine.
Vojvodina-Nihon
17-01-2008, 03:35
Reports have indicated that the next voter blocks to swing in favour of Mayor Daley's party and political allies will include young children, domesticated animals, foreign nationals, and alternative spellings of the names of voters currently registered with said party (i.e. Jon/John, Frederic/Frederick, Terry/Terri, William/Will/Bill/Billy, Dennis/Denis and so on). Some have theorized that inordinate numbers of homes owned by members of the opposition party will be struck by lightning over the coming years, and it has been suggested that a tsunami in Lake Michigahn will serve the dual functions of further displacing opposition voters and destroying buildings in which election records and crucial evidence are stored.

That or they could just "gerrymander" like normal people do.