DoubleWideville
04-01-2008, 12:12
]"After hearing the Atheistic and Hellbound nations complain about "Jesus Camp", Kingdom News Channel 7 sent this reporter to do a story on DoubleWideville's "Jesus Youth".
We went to interview the Commadant of Jesus Youth Schools, which have cropped up in the provinces of New Judea and New Palestine. We wanted to know what Commadat John Johnson thought about the criticisms of the Christ-hating nations towards that fine program of Jesus Camp, and to interview the cadets enrolled in Jesus Youth Academies.
(Puts microphone into a man dressed in military uniform) "Commadant, what do you think of the criticisms od the Athesists in foring nations regarding that fine program, Jesus Camp?" "Well" says Commadant John Johnson" What do you expect? We know there going to Hell anyway, so who cares what their thinking? But besides that, I really criticize Jesus Camp for being too wimpy and Liberal. We teach our Cadets at Jesus Youth Academies the use of assault rifles, sabotage, guerrilla tactics and of course, a good heaping of the
Word"
This reporter was courious how he would respond to people's criticism, especially the Hellbound and Atheist heretics, that they were brainwashing these youth "Brainwashing?!?" retorted Comadant John Johnson" You bet were washing their brains clean of the smut and trash of the world! Our youth don't fornicate and produce illigitimate babies! They don't smoke crack and stab their mothers and fathers to death in their beds! No sirree! You bet we brainwash them, every day, with the cleansing power of the Word, Praise!
The Commadant took me on a tour of the Jesus Youth Academy in New Jerusalem, New Judea Province. The grounds were wll swept, and the young men and women were tastefully and modestly dressed in military uniforms. I noticed some seniors on the parade grounds practicing hand to hand combat, so as politely as I could, I interrupted a group of these fine youth to interview them.
" Young man, what do you think of the criticism of the Jesus Camp documentary by the Athesists and Hellbound?' I was gratified by the response this fine Cadet gave me. "What can you expect? Their weak willed, wobbly kneed nations filled with raving homosexuals, spineless drug addicts and heathens of the worst sort! Their gutless youth are unwilling to serve their people, and are pampered and soft! I watched the first episode and laughed at those wimps! I can dissassemble an assault rifle blindfolded in 3 minutes, plus lead a patrol on deep recon AND set up an L shaped ambush! I'd snap the neck of one of those gutless punks, with one of my hands tied behind my back!" I thanked the Cadet profusely for bring glory to our Holy and Righteous Empire and honor and glory to Jesus. For balance, I interviewd a female Cadet, who was busy with practicing assembling and dissassembling improvised explosives.
"Yong Lady, what is your impression of the Hellbound and Atheists response to the documentary "Jesus Camp"?. The female Cadet, Jesse, was absorbed in assembling the parts to the improvised explosive, so I had to wait a minute for her response. "Well" She said" All I can say is I am glad I live here and not with those whoremongers and their sick society! They abort their babies so the women can play the part of whores, their men are irresponsible and impregnate women for fun and the majority of them are dope fiends! Why, I just read in class today how they hate Christians and are always impeding on their right to worship the true God! Plus, they let heretics and demon possessed madmen preach Hellbound trash on television! It'll be only by the grace of the Lord any of those devil worshipping dogs will see the Kingdom!" I was encourage by this Patriotic young ladies response. So i asked her some further questions. "Why does the commadant have you train so hard for war?" This fine young lady looked at me as if i were mad or demon possessed. "Are you blind? The Muslims, Atheists, Heathens and the rest of the Hellbound want to invade our nation, rape our women and desecrate our Churches! They teach their youth to spit on crossess and allow their women to kill babies willy nilly! Do you want some fanatical Muslim raping your wife and bayonetting your kids? When, not if, the Atheist, Muslim, Heathen scum come to destroy our Empire and fill us with whores, dope heads, demon worshippers and adulters we'll greet them with a wall of steel!"
All in All the Jesus Youth Academy in New Jerusalem, New Judea Province was a place of young men and women with good moral charcter and devout Christian youth. This reporter sees the criticisms of the Christ-Haters and Hellbound as a barometer of their immoral degregation and the moral anarchy of their dope addict, whore filled, baby killing nations. Is it any wonder when the raving homosexuals there hold "Gay Pride" parades there? God only knows why flames and brimstone haven't fallen on these modern Sodom and Ghemmorahs!
Reporting for Kingdom News, Channel 7, this is Bill Mccannon, singing off!
We went to interview the Commadant of Jesus Youth Schools, which have cropped up in the provinces of New Judea and New Palestine. We wanted to know what Commadat John Johnson thought about the criticisms of the Christ-hating nations towards that fine program of Jesus Camp, and to interview the cadets enrolled in Jesus Youth Academies.
(Puts microphone into a man dressed in military uniform) "Commadant, what do you think of the criticisms od the Athesists in foring nations regarding that fine program, Jesus Camp?" "Well" says Commadant John Johnson" What do you expect? We know there going to Hell anyway, so who cares what their thinking? But besides that, I really criticize Jesus Camp for being too wimpy and Liberal. We teach our Cadets at Jesus Youth Academies the use of assault rifles, sabotage, guerrilla tactics and of course, a good heaping of the
Word"
This reporter was courious how he would respond to people's criticism, especially the Hellbound and Atheist heretics, that they were brainwashing these youth "Brainwashing?!?" retorted Comadant John Johnson" You bet were washing their brains clean of the smut and trash of the world! Our youth don't fornicate and produce illigitimate babies! They don't smoke crack and stab their mothers and fathers to death in their beds! No sirree! You bet we brainwash them, every day, with the cleansing power of the Word, Praise!
The Commadant took me on a tour of the Jesus Youth Academy in New Jerusalem, New Judea Province. The grounds were wll swept, and the young men and women were tastefully and modestly dressed in military uniforms. I noticed some seniors on the parade grounds practicing hand to hand combat, so as politely as I could, I interrupted a group of these fine youth to interview them.
" Young man, what do you think of the criticism of the Jesus Camp documentary by the Athesists and Hellbound?' I was gratified by the response this fine Cadet gave me. "What can you expect? Their weak willed, wobbly kneed nations filled with raving homosexuals, spineless drug addicts and heathens of the worst sort! Their gutless youth are unwilling to serve their people, and are pampered and soft! I watched the first episode and laughed at those wimps! I can dissassemble an assault rifle blindfolded in 3 minutes, plus lead a patrol on deep recon AND set up an L shaped ambush! I'd snap the neck of one of those gutless punks, with one of my hands tied behind my back!" I thanked the Cadet profusely for bring glory to our Holy and Righteous Empire and honor and glory to Jesus. For balance, I interviewd a female Cadet, who was busy with practicing assembling and dissassembling improvised explosives.
"Yong Lady, what is your impression of the Hellbound and Atheists response to the documentary "Jesus Camp"?. The female Cadet, Jesse, was absorbed in assembling the parts to the improvised explosive, so I had to wait a minute for her response. "Well" She said" All I can say is I am glad I live here and not with those whoremongers and their sick society! They abort their babies so the women can play the part of whores, their men are irresponsible and impregnate women for fun and the majority of them are dope fiends! Why, I just read in class today how they hate Christians and are always impeding on their right to worship the true God! Plus, they let heretics and demon possessed madmen preach Hellbound trash on television! It'll be only by the grace of the Lord any of those devil worshipping dogs will see the Kingdom!" I was encourage by this Patriotic young ladies response. So i asked her some further questions. "Why does the commadant have you train so hard for war?" This fine young lady looked at me as if i were mad or demon possessed. "Are you blind? The Muslims, Atheists, Heathens and the rest of the Hellbound want to invade our nation, rape our women and desecrate our Churches! They teach their youth to spit on crossess and allow their women to kill babies willy nilly! Do you want some fanatical Muslim raping your wife and bayonetting your kids? When, not if, the Atheist, Muslim, Heathen scum come to destroy our Empire and fill us with whores, dope heads, demon worshippers and adulters we'll greet them with a wall of steel!"
All in All the Jesus Youth Academy in New Jerusalem, New Judea Province was a place of young men and women with good moral charcter and devout Christian youth. This reporter sees the criticisms of the Christ-Haters and Hellbound as a barometer of their immoral degregation and the moral anarchy of their dope addict, whore filled, baby killing nations. Is it any wonder when the raving homosexuals there hold "Gay Pride" parades there? God only knows why flames and brimstone haven't fallen on these modern Sodom and Ghemmorahs!
Reporting for Kingdom News, Channel 7, this is Bill Mccannon, singing off!