NationStates Jolt Archive

Horse Isles declears WAR!:gundge:
So, the first country to come and challenge us will be wared against. And I have WEAPONS!:)
You: DO'H!:headbang:
Me: No worries. Anyone wanna fight?
You: :rolleyes:
Me: :D Okay, fight? :sniper:

Regards,
Horse Isles. ;)

OOC: Who did you declare war against? :sniper:

OOC:I know that the disappearence of euroslavia's guide has something to do with this...

IC: The free republic of oily prata condemns your militaristic actions and imposes sanctions upon your nation until you stop.

OOC: please read the stickies and please describe who you are attacking.....and lots of us are bigger then you....

Agreed. How's the war coming, Greal?

OOC: Horse, let's turn you into a better RPer first before you go and try to commit suicide on here, how about it? First off, don't use the smilies while roleplaying ;)

Agreed. How's the war coming, Greal?

OOC: read the 55 pages :D

OOC: read the 55 pages :D

My sufficently slow internet prevented that. Sorry I couldn't help you in your war, I was aw

OOC: Horse, let's turn you into a better RPer first before you go and try to commit suicide on here, how about it? First off, don't use the smilies while roleplaying ;)

Erm, actually, I'm a pretty good rper. Here's an example:


Jane walked over to the naughty box and finally took Tiger out of it. Tiger meowed playfully and walked into the house, where the TV was on.

Black woke up. "Perfectly fine, thanks, Sandy! And now, our children, or at least the older ones, can go into the house! In fact, when our owner took Tiger out of that naughty box, I saw him walk into the house! Aren't they growing up? They might only be a week old-Ring and Toffee dont even have their eyes open yet-but they act alot like six-month-olds already!"

Meanwhile, Tiger was afraid. He had never been in this area of the house before. So, he rushed out to go up the stairs, which he rushed up. Then, he went to the landing. Immediantly he noticed Matrix, a kitten who he didnt exactly like. Tiger hissed at Matrix and took a swipe at him.

Not trying to be mean or rude or anything, so please do not go jumping down my throat. :p

Regards,
Horse Isles.

horse isles i could smack you down but im future tech

but im future tech

so do you see where it said what Tech this is,i don't

I might be small, but I can kick your ass. Don't use smileys in a declaration of war. I'll war you to the ground!:upyours:

Maybe you should try our religion, it allows you to fight wars but in bravery not out of some feeling of inadequacy that you need to work through. If interested, we will send you our Wawis to show you the Wawa.

To the nation of Horse Isles:

You have been challenged by Mr. Jonathan F. Williams, an avid hunter, hinterland resident, and country music enthusiast, of the nation of Siev. Mr. Williams, upon reading the communication from your nation, reportedly declared: "So they think they can challenge me, eh? Me, Jonathan Fabius Williams, who killed a full grown bear with me bare 'ands?! I'll show 'em, that I will!", rolled up his sleeves, gathered a posse of relatives close and far, and set out at the head of a convoy of sports utility vehicles with hastily improvised grenade launchers on the hoods.

Mr. Williams loaded his shotgun and drove off first with his wife, four children, and aged father; all bearing a variety of personal handguns. He reportedly whooped "We're gonna catch us some 'Orse Isles!" and "Yeeeee-haw!" while driving down windy dirt roads at 90 mph. Amazingly, Mr. Williams and his family were unharmed. The two sports utility vehicles that followed contained Mr. Williams's fifth child, six cousins, three uncles and their wives, and several nephews and nieces. The Sievese Intelligence Department has warned the nation of Horse Isles that Mr. Williams and family are fully equipped with large quantities of comestible alcoholic beverages and ammunition, and claim they will "shoot to kill".

[signed]
Henry Kissinger's Reanimated Corpse
Advisor for Foreign Policy and Zombie Attacks

and so it begins...

Horse, you really ought to have read the stickies first. You're only about the 1millionth first poster to declare war on apparently the world for no apparent reason. Were you unaware there were nations like mine that could fart and blow you off the map? Were you unaware that there are even larger nations that could crush a nation like mine without thinking twice about it? Go read some stickies, and if you're still interested, come back.

To the Government of the Nation of Horse Isles,

We will challenge you just so you can see how weak and puny you are compared to the other nations of the world.

To the Governments of Epsilon Halo and Vojvodina-Nihon, and the citizen Mr. Jonathan F. Williams,

You will stand down in your actions against Horse Isles. If you do not complyn we will set you nations a flame. And for you Mr. Jonathan F. Williams, if I do see you or your men/soldiers on the battle field of Horse Isles I will stick a jack knife through both of your eyes and then I will stick a flag pole through your neck.

Two Bums on the street, the City of the Blessed

Bum 2: We have to stop meeting like this.

Bum 1: Oh, well how about next time you invite me over to your house then?

Bum 2: You know the wife don't like me bringing friends over to the box.

Bum 1: Blah, blah, blah, you always use that excuse, I would invite you over, but you know my box isn't big enough for two.

Bum 2: Yeah, yeah, go and make me feel bad. So you hear about these Idiots over in the Horse Isles. They made an open declaration of war against the rest of the world, basically.

Bum 1: Well looks like thats another one of the places I'll never get to see.

Bum 2: Why not?

Bum 1: Because, they won't last two seconds against a competent enemy, and with the declaration they made, it won't take long for someone to take offense, and do something about them.

Bum 2: At least it ain't our nation that's gona get ground to dust.

Bum 1: Yep.

To the Governments of Epsilon Halo and Vojvodina-Nihon, and the citizen Mr. Jonathan F. Williams,

You will stand down in your actions against Horse Isles. If you do not complyn we will set you nations a flame. And for you Mr. Jonathan F. Williams, if I do see you or your men/soldiers on the battle field of Horse Isles I will stick a jack knife through both of your eyes and then I will stick a flag pole through your neck.

Mr. Jonathan F. Williams has issued the following statement: "Bring it, punk. You 'n' what army?"

Puppet Monarch Alistair I of the Holy Jingoistic Federation of Unaligned Nations of Vojvodina-Nihon has issued the following statement: "Stand down in whose actions against what? Since when did I do anything?"

I could say something about the folly of declaring war against unspecified foes many times your size, but since other nations have already done so, it would just be beating a dead, um, never mind. ;)

Mr. Jonathan F. Williams has issued the following statement: "Bring it, punk. You 'n' what army?"

Puppet Monarch Alistair I of the Holy Jingoistic Federation of Unaligned Nations of Vojvodina-Nihon has issued the following statement: "Stand down in whose actions against what? Since when did I do anything?"

To Puppet Monarch Alistair I of the Holy Jingoistic Federation of Unaligned Nations of Vojvodina-Nihon,

I am sorry, I was mistaken, I thought you military was backing some stupid citizen of yours.

To Mr. Jonathan F. Williams,

Me and what army? Sir, the army to do that would be the Grestonian Federal Military Soldiers Union.

Seventy-one ships from a fleet urged closer and closer to killing and capturing Horse Isles as a colony. 180 F-15 Eagles flew above them ready to protect from enemy aircrafts.

To Puppet Monarch Alistair I of the Holy Jingoistic Federation of Unaligned Nations of Vojvodina-Nihon,

I am sorry, I was mistaken, I thought you military was backing some stupid citizen of yours.
"That's all right. You could have done slightly better research; the Royal Guard is a defensive unit only, and I have direct control over no offensive military unit. But no harm done." Alistair shrugs, rubs at his unshaven cheek and goes off in search of marmalade.


To Mr. Jonathan F. Williams,

Me and what army? Sir, the army to do that would be the Grestonian Federal Military Soldiers Union.

Mr. Williams reportedly commented: "Mighty pretty moniker it's got, but if y'all ain't Williamses then y'all don't 'ave any right to be 'andling a gun. Never trust shootin' to a guv'mint, Ah always say."

His son, Billy-Bob Williams, also contributed: "Soldi'uhs, huh? Ah eat soldi'uhs fer breakfast! Molon labe, bitches!"

The elder Williams said proudly: "Went t' college, Billy-Bob did. Studied langwerjes."

To Mr. Jonathan F. Williams,

You are lucky I haven't dropped a nuke upon your house, or box or whatever the hell you retarded hill folk live in.

|Official Faxanavian Communique|
To: Horse Isles
Message: As part of the ongoing Faxanavian war on idiocy, the Faxanavian forces wish to notify you that you have been classified as a class three threat to intelligence in the world. We ask that you cease and desist these actions, before we are forced to take military action.

Repsectfully yours,
Ivanksky Bochick
Prime Minister

OOC: Seriously. Do some reading, and don't start declaring war immediately. Looks like you've already got Greston on you. Best of luck!

To Mr. Jonathan F. Williams,

You are lucky I haven't dropped a nuke upon your house, or box or whatever the hell you retarded hill folk live in.

"Who the hell you think you are anyway, ya gawdfersaken pinko 'ippie? Who the hell? Droppin' nukes on our cabin, pah, ya couldn't nuke our place if it was in front o' yer nose. You try any of that shit with me, and Ah swear bah Gawd Ah will get angry!" -- Mr. Jonathan F. Williams, from the window of his pickup truck, currently consuming his second six-pack.

Lt. Reedlern stood behind a line of men ready to fire a cannon. The men waited for his order and they would load it and fire. "Load the cannon!" ordered Lt. Reedlern and the men threw a dictionary, a thesaurus, a few classic books such as Moby Dick by Herman Melville and Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, a 5th grade spelling book, a 1st grade vocabulary book, and a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade grammar books into the cannon and aimed it at the horizon. "FIRE!" yelled Lt. Reedlern and the men fired the cannon and it's payload flew across the sky to hopefully end up find it's new home in Mr. Jonathan F. Williams's house/box/truck.

The Royal Code's Humorous Airlift Command decided to take advantage of this situation, and make a flight over the nation of Horse Isles. Civilian modified B52's took off with full payloads of millions of bouncy balls. These balls were dropped all over the Horse countryside, and in some lightly populated urban areas. Pamphlets were also released by the hundreds of thousands from these B52's showing this (http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a53/GodOfWar102/1197578791906.jpg) image.

As is customary, the Secretary of the HAC had a good laugh.

Uh..horsey guy or whatever your name is... NO ONE threatens B.P. so consider yourself glassed.

Have a nice day. :D












(THIS POST IS A JOKE DAMNIT SO DON'T YOU LARGER NATIONS GO DECLARING WAR ON ME!!!!)

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/1480/ddwuploadfs9.png

You amuse us. From your $0 defence budget, you can afford precisely 0 weapons (OOC: calculator - Sunset).

We buy $25million missiles intended for nuclear warheads and use them for fireworks. Epic fireworks, truly, but fireworks nonetheless.

Thereby, you ramblings serve only to spam the mailbox of life, and we dutifully request that you cease.

Uh..horsey guy or whatever your name is... NO ONE threatens B.P. so consider yourself glassed.

Have a nice day. :D












(THIS POST IS A JOKE DAMNIT SO DON'T YOU LARGER NATIONS GO DECLARING WAR ON ME!!!!)

We know it's a joke. My nation now has a 9-digit population, and we have orbital coilguns just to demolish old buildings.

we could use them to turn your capital into a huge crater.

and then we'll glass you.

Seriously.

IC: a B-2 Spirit left for the Horse Isles carrying two W80 nuclear bombs, escorted by S33B Stealth Teutons, each equipped with enough AAM's to defeat the soviet fighter fleet...

An epic weapon. One that has never seen the light of day. The most powerful weapon in the entire nation. Forget the Ignore gun. Forget even the Ignore cannon.

Now introducing ICHU (I CAN'T HEAR YOU!) - The latest in ignoring technology. Powered by anticheese/cheese reactions, and using the latest apathetic targeting systems, the weapon diverts power in the range of terajoules through a shard of the "last good idea", and reflects the powered beam off of a generic orbital satellite network onto the enemy nation.

The results are devestating: entire nations can be ignored within seconds, and it doesn't just stop there. With 3 different types of filters, many useful effects can be aquired:

1) Dictionary filter - Causes a mass outbreak of good spelling amongst the target. Uses the Oxford English Dictionary on a hydraulic mount. Can be interchanged with other language dictionarys.
2) Procrastination filter - Makes an enemy put off an attack until tomorrow. Uses a sample of "couldn'tcarelessium" embedded in glass to produce such an attack.
3) Signal filter - By shining the beam through a keyboard, modem and jolt forum uplink, a powerful signal can be sent out, calling in a horrific strike by the moderators, up to and including deletion. A last resort in Ignore warfare.


The unit is part of the efforts from the Ministry of N00Bs research team, and currently retails at $x.

Horse Isles = awesome.

Horse Island.
Now, when I started out posting on NS i made some ridiculous ones that in retrospect I shold have been publically executed for, but these ones always take the piss.
With the blow of their nose most nations could anihilate you.

You have weapons? So do I. So does everyone! If you wish for war then telgram me or what not to accept this challenge- come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!
I could do with another colony, or another place to expend some nukes on (ask the Steppe Empire that).

We're done here.