NationStates Jolt Archive

In a brief statement today, Dyellian Narcotics inc. has announced it's factory will immediately cease production of Aspirin tablets in favour of the new range of more lucrative 'Amphetamine for Children' tablets.

"This is a very exciting development in the Narcotics Industry." said CEO Alex Trevithwick, "Previously Speed has come in a formula that in unappealing to the under fives, leaving a large gap in the market. With our new range of colours and flavours, including strawberry, lemon and chocolate, you can get high right from the word go. On top of that our new formula is considerably more addictive, with only a slight increase in life threatening side effects, meaning we will have customers for life!"

The Dyellian Minister of Health, John Turner, while announcing that obviously speed is illegal and cannot be sold in Dyelli Beybi, says he sees "no reason why the product cannot be exported overseas. After all, with careful observation of the effects this drug has on foreigners, we may be able to discover some medical benefit."

We commend the new policy by Naroctics Inc. and will be interested in having the corporation setting up shop in SilentScope003 in order to sell "Meth For Kids". After all, the postive effects of meth (getting high, losing weight, paying attention more often) far outweigh the possible negative sideeffect of premature death.

Such substances are illegal for sale in The Free Republic to persons of any age. Attempted importation of such substances into The Free Republic will be punished severely.

Madrid Arden
Minister of Foreign Trade
Ilek-Vaad

BXRT Radio
The Jimmy James Show
Jimmy James: Well, I don't know if all you out there in radio land have heard, but Dyellian Narcotics inc. has announced a new drug that is being called, "Speed for Kids," which is being marketed to children ages 0-5. I guess now we know what they mean when people say, "It's like speed, for kids," thankfully this substance has been promptly outlawed by the Republic of the Beatus. We don't know what these people are thinking, seriously. (Sound Effect, toilet flushing)

Official Statement from the Magestiriate for International Affairs

As is typical with such narcotics as this, this will be deemed illegal for sale within Barronia or her dependancies, colonies, and, pending appropriate correspondance and deliberation, potentially her protectorates.

Any attempted delivery within Barronia, her dependancies or colonies, or the attempted smuggling across the borders of the aforementioned will be dealt with in the harshest manner available to us.

Cocaine-Cola Cooperative Corporation Public Announcement:

Third Spanish States Citizens:

A recent drug nicknamed "Speed for children" is being manufactured by an international capitalistic corporation named Dyellian Narcotics Inc, which seeks to contaminate innocent children, their target audience, with something they have no idea of the consequences they will suffer if they use. Cocaine-Cola always had a policy to discourage its consumption by children and is a drink for adults, because children using drugs will bring irreversible damages not only to them, but to the future of the nation and they cannot discern the side effects. However, unlike basement grown processed cocaine from drug dealers, Cocaine-cola uses only one pure and raw coca leaf per soda can, and thus have a much smaller concentration of the substance than those inhaling powders, the same concentration which Bolivian natives have traditionally used for centuries without bringing them any harm.

We advise all to not purchase "Speed for Children" at all costs and will launch a national boycott campaign against such atrocious capitalistic merchandise that seeks to poison the children of the world for a bunch of money.

In a brief statement, Dyellian Narcotics inc. expressed it's dismay at the banning of 'Speed for Children' in so many Nations. The Statement went on to say that this was unfortunate because Dyellian Narcotics could not possibly be expected to check to see whether exporters were exporting to countries which had legalised, or at least not outlawed, importation of the product.

General Directive
Secretariat of State for Health, Welfare, and Ageing
Secretariat of State for Public Safety

The Dyellian substance "Speed for Children" is declared a Schedule 9 Prohibited Substance due to its intended market.
This decision has been sanctioned by the Ministry of State (Pan-Imperial), and is now in effect across the entire Covenant.

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Press Release
Secretariat of State for Immigration, Tourism, and Citizenship
Ministry of External Affairs (Pan-Imperial)

Klatchian citizens trafficking in "Speed for Children" from Dyelli Beybi are advised that this is a prohibited substance. Attempts to import this narcotic in any manner to the Covenant will result in the appropriate legal sanctions, including custodial sentences and heavy fines. Corporations trafficking the substance are advised that they will be suspended from trading for the duration of investigations and may have their assets seized.
All concerned parties are reminded that as of the decision of R v. Gaultier (1793), ignorance of Covenant narcotics laws is not accepted as a defence by the courts.

Statement by the Department of Trade of the Syndicalist Union of Okanaman Unity (SUOU)

The importation and subsequent sale of this product, "Speed for Kids", will not be allowed in the Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Okanama City, due to the fact that it violates the following law that is encoded in our constitution; the sale of narcotics in the Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Okanama City is not permitted if the narcotics in question does not meet the following target age group of 18 years old to 75 years old.

However, we are willing to import narcotic products from Dyelli Beybi, via the company known as Dyellian Narcotics Inc., that is, if they have narcotics that do meet that target age group.

Sincerely,
The Delegates of the Department of Trade of the Syndicalist Union of Okanaman Unity (SUOU)