NationStates Jolt Archive


Royal Industries Showcases the DEAT

Castilla y Belmonte
05-12-2007, 18:55
The DEAT

http://webpages.charter.net/jasonr/pictures/button3.jpg


Royal Industries, one of the principle defense companies of Castilla y Belmonte, introduces 'the DEAT' (TD). TD is the only 'one-shot one-kill' weapon currently in existance, other than nude pictures of 's mom. It works through a relatively simple mechanism which I could spend ten thousand words explaining in a detailed write-up with mostly extraneous and irrelevant information (just wait for the Lince write-up!). When you press the red-button an electromagnetic signal is sent to a giant computer in the center of the Earth's core (FYI, no installation is required - the computer is already there). The result is an overly extravegant destruction of whomever you wish.

http://worldunionfederation.org/images/nuke.jpg

Bullshit, you say? Let's hear what former clients have to say:

Mike Sparks: 'If it includes Gavins it's a 10/10!'

George W. Bush: 'Did you say DEAT? NUKULAR N00B, NUKULAR!'

Some critics thought they were smart enough to prove us wrong. For fairness, let's here what they have to say.

Fancy Shmancy Scientist: 'It's impossible. The computer doesn't exist, and to do this you'd basically have to fire a large number of nuclear weapons. I conclude that this is innacurate.'

Our representative had something to say in our defense:

King Juan Carlos I: Why don't you shut up?

[i]We can only conclude that that stupid scientist just got pwnd. What a n00b.

You can buy this marvelous technology for like $20. Buy it now, before it runs out! Expert Mike Sparks says that if you don't buy it, you're unamerican.

http://www.geocities.com/itsg/billcriswellsfavoritem113pictn.jpg
New Czardas
05-12-2007, 19:02
New Czardas wishes to order 40,000 of them, as well as those nude pictures of Clandonia's mom. We can't be arsed to do the math so we'll send you $7.75 in quarters, plus a big bar of some weird yellow shiny metal, and a moldy sandwich I found in the back of the 'fridge.
Zanwesia
05-12-2007, 20:15
<.< >.>

THE 100X BODACIOUS IMPERIUM OF MASSPWNAGE WOULD LIKE TO BUY 10000000000000000000000000000000000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:sniper::sniper::sniper::upyours::upyours::upyours::upyours::mp5::mp5::mp5:
Castilla y Belmonte
10-12-2007, 19:17
Approved. All units will be sent within two seconds through an ETC warp drive. As per the request of Clandonia's mom naked in pictures, that's impossible. We would die just looking at the picture while placing it inside a box for UPS.