NationStates Jolt Archive

What strange and/or funny punishments exist in your nation?

A few that exist in mine are:

Being crucified to a giant piece of toast with other criminals and then lowered into a giant toaster

Death by piniata (basically you are tied up and hanged into a pen filled with angry kids from my nations top secret super soldier program armed with blunt and pointy objects. (kids taken away from their parents due to child abuse and such are brought to special facilities where they are raised as soldiers)

Punishment through embarrassment (the criminal is forced at gunpoint by an officer to embarrass himself in public in the way that the officer and/or the public chooses)

Death by military experiment (usually things like catapulting lawbreakers into the air so the newest missile's homing device can be tested out)

Death by catapult (basically being catapulted through an medieval style catapult into the borders of nations South Lizasaurians hate.

Death by wasted bandwidth, worst known to man = O

Death by concrete: stuffing a victim into a block of concrete which is then cracked open and have the body thrown into the concrete lake

Torture by tea: forcing a victim to drink large quantities of tea, then stuffing tea bags down their throats and then have them removed repeatedly

Torture by tissue: forcing a victim to blow their nose constantly

For our white collar criminals.
Death by bureaucracy: criminal is forced to complete the infinite tedious forms generated by the state until they lose the will to live (technically state assisted suicide)

For our white collar criminals.
Death by bureaucracy: criminal is forced to complete the infinite tedious forms generated by the state until they lose the will to live (technically state assisted suicide)

Lulz.

Underage criminals in my nation are put in the stocks, with only their friends, family, and loved ones allowed to feed them, other than the odd bit of rotten food flung at them.

Lulz.

Indeed it's our attempt to cross-breed our giant civil service with our justice department.

Underage criminals in my nation are put in the stocks, with only their friends, family, and loved ones allowed to feed them, other than the odd bit of rotten food flung at them.

If your a friendless, hated, orphan your a bit doomed then?

In the battlefields, Cazelian Commisars often use unorthodox methods if ammunition for executions run scarce:
Clothes Hanger beatings
During the 3rd Caz'e Londinian war, Major Ingram Hasley beat a deserted with a clothes hanger. The man suffered major fractures and is now afraid of clothes hangers
Death by paper-cut
In the 1st Cyconut war, the trapped 4th Infantry division killed Cyconi prisoners by slicing their veins with paper and then left them to bleed out/
Death by muffin
During a fight with a traitor, Commisar James Hogart (Now President) smothered the man with a muffin. The man was killed by the suffocation and later his nut allergies.
Death by lamp-post
A common punishment used by cityfight commanders was the "Lamp-post execution". The victim would be held in front of a lanp-post as it spurt out electricity, electrocuting the man. It was more commonly known as "Being pissed on by a lamp-post".

If your a friendless, hated, orphan your a bit doomed then?

LOL.

Give them an apple pie with a coin in it and hope they choke.

or....DEATH BY CHINGLISH.
Send them to the Chinese district of town and make them read all the signs.

During the last Doomani invasion, Kahanistanian soldiers whose comrades, families and friends had been crucified by the Doomani responded by nailing their Doomani and allied prisoners to wooden Stars of David or Muslim crescent moons, with the occasional upside-down cross.

Death by lollipop-the criminal has his scull crushed by a gladiator armed with a giant lollipop.

Spoon sepuku-the name of the punishment explains itself

During the last Doomani invasion, Kahanistanian soldiers whose comrades, families and friends had been crucified by the Doomani responded by nailing their Doomani and allied prisoners to wooden Stars of David or Muslim crescent moons, with the occasional upside-down cross. I can see the Muslim crescent moon, but the star of David? Did you have to cut off al their limbs, then cut those in half, then cut those in half to covere the whole thing?

Give them an apple pie with a coin in it and hope they choke.

or....DEATH BY CHINGLISH.
Send them to the Chinese district of town and make them read all the signs.

You definitely HAVE to have more than that. :D

In Brummerhaven some crimes are so horrid that they make people wish you were never born. So they try to unbirth you by placing you back inside a giant wooden woman then slicing off your head with a giant razor coat hanger which has to be carried and maneuvered by crane.

for manly men: we make them get dressed up in frilly dresses (i.e. lolita, or sometimes kimonos with really really tight obis) and stand in public and have others catcall at them. known by locals as the Topsy-Turvy Princess
locals have been known to elect a queen and have them dance and sing anime theme songs.

for youth: forced to knit a thousand scarves

for straight women: convincing them their husbands/boyfriends/etc are gay.

They generally used the top part to nail the hands, and the bottom part to nail the feet.

I'd do an ASCII of it, but I suck at ASCII art. No effort was made to cover the whole thing, it was chosen because the Doomies, for the most part, don't like Jews.

TMI execution

The offender is given a gun and listens to the Prime Minister talking about his sexay day. When we here the shot we retrieve the corpse. Usually the corpse is in fetal position or with severe concussions accompanied by a dent in wall.

BLUE BALLS
We stick nitrogen on their fun parts.

Death by being forced to watch bad television nonstop or death by having to watch weird flash (like www.Weebls-stuff.com for example) :D

Or death by Beth- Bethny the maneater

Death by brokeback-beign forced to watch brokeback version of the most manly and admired shows until the criinal begs for death

Death by South Lizasaurian humor (since South Lizasaurian humor is seen as dark, wierd and even painful to listen to in the eyes and ears of foriegners, foreign criminals have to listen to South Lizasaurian humor until their brains melt)

Bother execution

We bother them to death, much in the way Harry and Ron bother Snape in the popular flash "bothering snape". Basically, we all headbutt the condmened while shouting "BOTHER BOTTHER BOTHER" repeatedly.

Badger badger badger...

Death by convulsions and/or seizure from watching such a flash.

What strange and/or funny punishments exist in your nation?

While most of the Empire's punishments are jail sentences, executions and fines, there are still a few old punishments that are on the statute books in the Empire, mainly related to old law. These include

Anyone that sabotages a level crossing within the Empire is to be punished, according to the Railways Act 1894, by having their person tied upon the rear of the Ptolemais to Alexandria Express. While other punishments for sabotagers of level crossings were brought in with the Railway Crimes Act 1956; the sections of the Railways Act relating to railway crimes have never been repealed. The same law requires the Ptolemais to Alexandria Express to have a platform to facilitate the punishment.

According to the Parliamentary Dress Code Act 1911, anyone wearing a hat taller than one foot within the Parliamentary Complex would be required to wear pink for the duration of a week. Considering that homosexuality was and still is illegal in the Empire and that the colour pink is strongly associated with homosexuality in the Empire, wearing such a colour would be humilating at best. The law has only been enforced twice according to court records though, and since Lords nor MPs are required to wear hats anymore, it is unlikely to be used again as a punishment

When cars were first brought out in the Empire, the Automobile Act of 1903 was brought in, primarily for safety. Any individual that had an automobile with a speed faster than 30mph and that did not fly a red danger flag from the front centre would see their car dismantled, and they would be required to reessemble it, with modifications made to bring the speed down. This law was not enforced after 1920 when the open road speed limit was instituted at 35mph on sealed roads (the Empire still has graduated speed limits depending on the road type and seal)

In fact, the Ministry of Justice usually releases an annual list of laws that are not to be enforced, usually due to their supercesion by other laws. The 2007 edition involved 499 laws that had sections that were not to be enforced. 345 of these laws dated to before 1920, and had some hilarous punishments.

Bother execution

We bother them to death, much in the way Harry and Ron bother Snape in the popular flash "bothering snape". Basically, we all headbutt the condmened while shouting "BOTHER BOTTHER BOTHER" repeatedly.

i officially love you.

If it's stalker love then I'm sorry, but that position of executioner has already been taken.

uh nope. definitely not stalker love. just harmless you-made-a-reference-to-something-i-love love

In Alfegos, though outlawed, there are still odd punishments carried out in the remote villages in the rainforest:

1) Dece'skinao

Also known as "trial by fleash", the offender is forced to eat parts of his own body, while they are still attached. The severity of the crime depends on how much of the body has to be consumed: from a fingertip to an entire leg.

2) Dece'fliv

Also known as "Trial by Marsh", this is sometimes still used to test if people are guilty. In this case, they are forced to run across a mile of bog, with hundreds of biting midges, sinking holes and naturists. If they succeed, they are usually let off. If they don't, it is considered apt punishment.

3) Dece'klano

"Trial by Noise". In this case the offender is asked to walk as quietly as possible to retrieve a skull from the den of a "fe'lii" (forest tigers). If they fail this task, they are ripped to shreds.


Other punishments carried out illegally by some of the more modern people include:

1) Deadland Execution

This is where a person is basically driven out to the centre of the Polinas deadlands, and left there. If he isn't killed by the radiation, he will be killed by the lack of water and food.

2) Beating

If a person is beaten in Alfegos (illegally), they are usually beaten not with a whip, but with a bandsaw blade. Lashes are usually between 5 and 50, though there have been recorded incidents by the police where bodies have been found with upwards of 200 lashes.
After they are beaten, the wounds are usually sprayed with hydrogen peroxide.

3) "Syringing"

There have been recorded cases of people being executed by "syringing": that is when their internal body matter and blood is sucked out of the body completely though a large syringe. In this case, death is very slow and extremely painful, especially as they can see their internal organs and blood being sucked out.

4) Zen

In rare cases, a perfect murder can be carried out using the drug Zen: when given in an overdose, it severes the link with the conciouss mind, and causes a new one to be generated in its place. The person, while having the same body, is completely different. Coupled with mind washing, it means that people can be completely destroyed without having been killed, so the murderer can avoid any punishment.

In Alfegos, though outlawed, there are still odd punishments carried out in the remote villages in the rainforest:

1) Dece'skinao

Also known as "trial by fleash", the offender is forced to eat parts of his own body, while they are still attached. The severity of the crime depends on how much of the body has to be consumed: from a fingertip to an entire leg.


With or without ketchup?

No ketchup

No ketchup

Cruel.

Law 12AZX-34ZY-0260: If a person is found writing a letter to the king while wearing a blue hat, he/she is to be boiled alive in kettle of lead. As Zaheran does no longer have a king, this law is not enforced.

Law A16B63-AC6-1Y7: If a person is found eating a sandwich without mustard, he/she is to be executed by pieing.

Law A13UI2-NB7UIY-5TY7/34: If a person is found wearing one red sock and one sock striped in blue and grey, he/she is to be executed by bowling. Not enforced because of confusion around how the punishment is to be interpreted, in other words if "bowling" means the sport or the act of throwing bowls at someone.

4) Zen

In rare cases, a perfect murder can be carried out using the drug Zen: when given in an overdose, it severes the link with the conciouss mind, and causes a new one to be generated in its place. The person, while having the same body, is completely different. Coupled with mind washing, it means that people can be completely destroyed without having been killed, so the murderer can avoid any punishment.

Sounds interesting.

In Burlovia, it is not actually straightly a punishment but an effect exiling to the giant industrial prison areas in the rural areas of Burlovia usually has to the citizens: sickness because of the lack of vodka.

The most common punishment used is exiling to forced labour into industrial facilities. Big part of the Burlovian underground business has something to do with large quantities of alcohol, and many caught and condemned criminals get ill because they can´t get vodka to ease their addiction.

Well, we do several things, none of which are actually funny.

1: The infamous "Rat Torture" seen in 2F2F, where a rat is placed on the victim's stomach. A bucket is placed over the rat, and a blowtorch is used to heat the bucket, causing the rat to burrow into the victim's stomach.

2: During the war against the Red Brotherhood, General Beltway of the GWO Marine Corps stabbed an RB Officer in the eye with a toothpick as a form of punishment.

3: A form of interrogation used by CCU is to use an electric chair that cannot be turned high enough to actually kill someone. The electirc current goes up as the victim becomes more defiant.

4: We feed some criminals to random creatures we keep locked down in the lower levels of government buildings, which range from common rats, etc., to cannibalistic humans, to radioactive things that can only be described as "monsters."

In my country, there is an option where a person convicted of child rape is sent to the dark, dungeons for eternity for rape, never to be seen again in the normal world. The punishment was inspired by Dungeons and Dragons, but many of the offenses once punished in this way have been superseded by death by undisclosed ways, which is another strange punishment.

O'Brienmckenziekip T. E., one of the appointed executioners in C. Ryberg adds: "The way the condemned person is executed is something that they will definitely wish to never go through. Only the executioner, the two witnesses and the condemned will ever know what it is."

I've only seen it in paper-view, so in my opinion it is a bit like Nineteen-Eighty Four's 'Room 101' in my opinion.

The 'Empire' faction of Vojvodina-Nihon enforces some ridiculous and out of proportion punishments: i.e. mispronouncing the Emperor's titles is punishable by being boiled in oil while skinned alive and hanged; stealing a raisin is punishable by being simultaneously impaled on a stake and shot; wearing a green hat is punishable by being forced to listen to opera; et cetera. Other factions have similar rules. In 'Quiet', for instance, making unnecessary noise is punishable by being buried alive in feathers (a punishment which has only been enforced once, as most people do the sensible thing and go elsewhere to make noise).

In future tech, it is still technically illegal for a Sievese starship to travel at any more than ten per cent of the speed of light, despite FTL technologies having been available for over a century. Starships that enter hyperspace from Sievese space are ticketed 50 koronin (about $0.68).

No funny punishments here although they maybe found strange. Here are the only strange punishments:

Murder (DNA proof or 100 or so witnesses) - Death by your own strangest method. If a serial killer stabbed the eyes, then the hands, then the feet then the heart of his victim he'd have that done to him by an executioner who would be punished in case it was proven that the killer was someone else. This is where the 100 or so witnesses comes into play - executions are on live TV.

Adultery - Stoning. 18 reasonably sized stones are to be thrown at the adulterer.

Sex Offense - Castration/'Tubes Tied'

Arson - have something of yours burnt (often hair)

During the last Doomani invasion, Kahanistanian soldiers whose comrades, families and friends had been crucified by the Doomani responded by nailing their Doomani and allied prisoners to wooden Stars of David or Muslim crescent moons, with the occasional upside-down cross.
From what I recall the only Doomani you ever got your hands on were already dead <.<

Suicidal fanatics ftw

I can't think of any form of punishment in Doomingsland that are funny...strange by today's standards maybe, we burn people at the stake, crucify people (as Kstan mentioned), flay them alive (generally in combination with one of the aforementioned), impale...I could go on for several pages but alas I have the flu and with that comes a really nasty headache...

From what I recall the only Doomani you ever got your hands on were already dead <.<

Suicidal fanatics ftw

I can't think of any form of punishment in Doomingsland that are funny...strange by today's standards maybe, we burn people at the stake, crucify people (as Kstan mentioned), flay them alive (generally in combination with one of the aforementioned), impale...I could go on for several pages but alas I have the flu and with that comes a really nasty headache...

True. Allied, especially Candrian Empire's (Lucinian?) troops, however, were not always so lucky. My own troops aren't normally fanatical (or even murderous), but discipline and morale were breaking down and if it's a choice between fighting to the death and suffering a worse fate if captured... and needing something to pour their fury onto...

Hope you recover soon, and the bloodletting can continue, hopefully not on me. :)

Thanks, man :)