Lemkizemnya
21-11-2007, 10:09
A very respectable news broadcaster in Lemkizemnya, Dyinya News, taped the following during an interview with the country's new President, Naputnik de Imperija Rusnyji Doktor Marco Koval:
+++The clip opens to show a soundstage where an anchor (yes, the kind that tell you what happened on the other side of the world while you were cooking your dinner, not the kind that people throw into the ocean—although many folk might have wanted to do just that to anchors, but not this one for he was fairly intelligent and just a little less unappealing but anyway) sat behind a desk, while a man in a stylish labcoat-shirt and black slacks and leather gloves sat in a chair nearby. No one knew exactly why the sofa was never sat in, or why it was nevertheless kept there, but that was one of The Things You Do Not Question, and so nobody did, and thus it remained, sitting next to a small potted tree—or perhaps it was sitting next to the sofa, but this is insignificant. Suffice it to say that anchor: desk and leader: chair. A backdrop of Dyinya was displayed behind the whole scene, probably taken from a high office building.
+++"I'm here with Lemkizemnya's new Presi—"
+++"NAPUTNIK!" shrieked the man in the chair, clenching a gloved fist in the air. "Ah, haha. Yes, sorry, excuse...me. The new title is...Naputnik. Or Doktor. I like both. Naputnik-Doktor! Yes, that may have a ring to it." He chuckled gleefully, and stroked his chin.
+++"Yes. Well, I'm here with Naputnik Marco Koval, the new leader of Lemkizemnya," the anchor continued on. "Sir Koval, you've mentioned some fairly extreme policy decisions in your platform, and though we went through all that in the election, I just want to go over them again, without the stress of the election race. Can you elaborate?"
+++"Ah...haha. Ha. Perhaps, my good maaaan. Perhaps. What did you wish to...to start with?"
+++"Well, I wanted to ask about your policy on the...ah...the Fúr."
+++"AH!" shouted the labcoat-clad man, his face darkening like a stupendous thunderhead about to spew for javelins of lightning. "THOSE miscreants! The bane of my IDEALS. Ah, well, s...some of them...at least. Ha ha. My apologies. I do not mean to...shout...so often." He paused, and seemed to be holding his left hand to his thigh, where it occasionally made little twitching movements. "Yes. Well, now." He cleared his throat, and then again. "The Fúr—" He grimaced, as if the word burned his tongue. "—they do not believe in any of the great aspirations to which I and my...party ascri—" His hand finally broke free and attacked his face. Marco gave a strangled cry, and shoved the offending appendage down forcefully, with a good set of solid knocks to it to keep it in its place. It seemed to obey for the moment. "Silly thing. Yes, where was I. Yes, yes. There. Ah, yes. ...Yes. They reject the ideas of their humanity, and would wish to return...to...the status of beasts! They reject the values of their intellect so graciously imparted upon them by the prirodnij-znevolennja, refusing to acknowledge their responsibility to greaten mankind by taking part in his endeavors in Humanism and only leech from the benefit of Science and Learning! They do not even work, much less think in any way that is not childish and frivolous! You have seen them! They live in their caves of basements and apartments, and what have they contributed?! I tell you nothing! No scientific discoveries, no artistic creations that are not horribly twisted, no insightful comments on Humanity's status—excepting that they would prefer not to be human, the status of which Nature has kindly given to them so that they may work with their tools and newfound knowledge to advance Science!" He stopped suddenly, and took a deep breath, steadying himself.
+++"Yet how do you know that they are supposed to be working with science and technology and not...doing whatever they like?" rejoined the anchor. He noticeably did not question the second half, and indeed had pursed his lips together, because after he considered it for a moment, he decided that there was some merit to the man's claim. He'd never seen a furry doctor, or serious philosopher.
+++"It is the natural way!" exclaimed the doctor. "The whole purpose of life is to perpetuate knowledge through the use of higher and more advanced tools, skills and brain power in the context of large-scale interactions. It is what all species strive to be through the many years of evolution! Ha. Hahaha. Well, we got to it first, we lucky bastards, and we must, must...must—we have no other choice, even if there were such...another race of beings, for we are responsible adults, not children who blame others as one who broke the lamp but does not want to admit it—shoulder the burden of Nature's call to improve ourselves and our environment! Does not the beaver use his tools for his benefit? Nor the chimpanzee? What drives them to do these things? It is Nature's Law! Nature demands that they continually elevate themselves to perfection! Well, if some of us shall not heed the call, then it is up to us who will be responsive and not lazy and form this society of my dreams to better function in!"
+++"I think you're answering more than one question, Sir—"
+++"They are all intertwined!" the doctor replied vehemently. "I cannot answer one without the rest! They are of one unified theory, yes."
+++"All right," replied the anchor. "But even if you are using nature as a base, then what happens when things go...wrong in the environment? Say when animals aren't productive, and mate with another of the same sex? Or strike out on their own, away from the group and die? Furthermore how do you know that they aren't furthering themselves?"
+++"Ha! HAHA. It is wrong, you said it yourself, and it is cut out soon as destructive! Nature is the most efficient sieve through which to send all things that it has made through time. Unfortunately, we can ignore that now, and must take up the task beside it." He paused. "You mentioned something also that is connected, and I must have missed it earlier, for I also said of it. Groups are essential. We are a society, not a bunch of...individuals, acting in our own interests to the detriment of others and that which is around us." He paused, and when the anchor opened his mouth to speak, the gloved hand shot up to silence him. He shut up. "How do I know?" he asked rhetorically. "Observation, my friend. Logical deduction. What possible purpose can daydreaming about something you are not serve? If you should wish to do something, do it, but if it is not possible in the least then why...ha, ha...why consider it?" What advantage would you have even if you were to accomplish such a goal? To be more free? Pah!" he spat. "To be free is to know, and to know requires an intellect of a man, not a beast."
+++The interview continued on like this for some time, and however odd and extreme the man's policies sounded, it was apparent that at least initially the population was very sympathetic to them. As it so happened, the Lemkizemnyan economy was not the hottest, and it was rather true that the country's contingent of furries were rather more leech-like (and bourgeois) than other countries', and this made them the natural and perfect target.
+++Would something happen to them? Like what? Is that a sentence? Of course not, but nevertheless we shall move on. What about the religious folk that Marco said are also irresponsible? Why are they irresponsible? What will happen to them? What sort of crazy news economic and social change will Lemkizemnya go through in the coming months (and perhaps years)? Just who is this Marco person and what's his story? Where did he come from, and where is he going?
+++Stay tuned.Yes, that is a command, you fool!
+++The clip opens to show a soundstage where an anchor (yes, the kind that tell you what happened on the other side of the world while you were cooking your dinner, not the kind that people throw into the ocean—although many folk might have wanted to do just that to anchors, but not this one for he was fairly intelligent and just a little less unappealing but anyway) sat behind a desk, while a man in a stylish labcoat-shirt and black slacks and leather gloves sat in a chair nearby. No one knew exactly why the sofa was never sat in, or why it was nevertheless kept there, but that was one of The Things You Do Not Question, and so nobody did, and thus it remained, sitting next to a small potted tree—or perhaps it was sitting next to the sofa, but this is insignificant. Suffice it to say that anchor: desk and leader: chair. A backdrop of Dyinya was displayed behind the whole scene, probably taken from a high office building.
+++"I'm here with Lemkizemnya's new Presi—"
+++"NAPUTNIK!" shrieked the man in the chair, clenching a gloved fist in the air. "Ah, haha. Yes, sorry, excuse...me. The new title is...Naputnik. Or Doktor. I like both. Naputnik-Doktor! Yes, that may have a ring to it." He chuckled gleefully, and stroked his chin.
+++"Yes. Well, I'm here with Naputnik Marco Koval, the new leader of Lemkizemnya," the anchor continued on. "Sir Koval, you've mentioned some fairly extreme policy decisions in your platform, and though we went through all that in the election, I just want to go over them again, without the stress of the election race. Can you elaborate?"
+++"Ah...haha. Ha. Perhaps, my good maaaan. Perhaps. What did you wish to...to start with?"
+++"Well, I wanted to ask about your policy on the...ah...the Fúr."
+++"AH!" shouted the labcoat-clad man, his face darkening like a stupendous thunderhead about to spew for javelins of lightning. "THOSE miscreants! The bane of my IDEALS. Ah, well, s...some of them...at least. Ha ha. My apologies. I do not mean to...shout...so often." He paused, and seemed to be holding his left hand to his thigh, where it occasionally made little twitching movements. "Yes. Well, now." He cleared his throat, and then again. "The Fúr—" He grimaced, as if the word burned his tongue. "—they do not believe in any of the great aspirations to which I and my...party ascri—" His hand finally broke free and attacked his face. Marco gave a strangled cry, and shoved the offending appendage down forcefully, with a good set of solid knocks to it to keep it in its place. It seemed to obey for the moment. "Silly thing. Yes, where was I. Yes, yes. There. Ah, yes. ...Yes. They reject the ideas of their humanity, and would wish to return...to...the status of beasts! They reject the values of their intellect so graciously imparted upon them by the prirodnij-znevolennja, refusing to acknowledge their responsibility to greaten mankind by taking part in his endeavors in Humanism and only leech from the benefit of Science and Learning! They do not even work, much less think in any way that is not childish and frivolous! You have seen them! They live in their caves of basements and apartments, and what have they contributed?! I tell you nothing! No scientific discoveries, no artistic creations that are not horribly twisted, no insightful comments on Humanity's status—excepting that they would prefer not to be human, the status of which Nature has kindly given to them so that they may work with their tools and newfound knowledge to advance Science!" He stopped suddenly, and took a deep breath, steadying himself.
+++"Yet how do you know that they are supposed to be working with science and technology and not...doing whatever they like?" rejoined the anchor. He noticeably did not question the second half, and indeed had pursed his lips together, because after he considered it for a moment, he decided that there was some merit to the man's claim. He'd never seen a furry doctor, or serious philosopher.
+++"It is the natural way!" exclaimed the doctor. "The whole purpose of life is to perpetuate knowledge through the use of higher and more advanced tools, skills and brain power in the context of large-scale interactions. It is what all species strive to be through the many years of evolution! Ha. Hahaha. Well, we got to it first, we lucky bastards, and we must, must...must—we have no other choice, even if there were such...another race of beings, for we are responsible adults, not children who blame others as one who broke the lamp but does not want to admit it—shoulder the burden of Nature's call to improve ourselves and our environment! Does not the beaver use his tools for his benefit? Nor the chimpanzee? What drives them to do these things? It is Nature's Law! Nature demands that they continually elevate themselves to perfection! Well, if some of us shall not heed the call, then it is up to us who will be responsive and not lazy and form this society of my dreams to better function in!"
+++"I think you're answering more than one question, Sir—"
+++"They are all intertwined!" the doctor replied vehemently. "I cannot answer one without the rest! They are of one unified theory, yes."
+++"All right," replied the anchor. "But even if you are using nature as a base, then what happens when things go...wrong in the environment? Say when animals aren't productive, and mate with another of the same sex? Or strike out on their own, away from the group and die? Furthermore how do you know that they aren't furthering themselves?"
+++"Ha! HAHA. It is wrong, you said it yourself, and it is cut out soon as destructive! Nature is the most efficient sieve through which to send all things that it has made through time. Unfortunately, we can ignore that now, and must take up the task beside it." He paused. "You mentioned something also that is connected, and I must have missed it earlier, for I also said of it. Groups are essential. We are a society, not a bunch of...individuals, acting in our own interests to the detriment of others and that which is around us." He paused, and when the anchor opened his mouth to speak, the gloved hand shot up to silence him. He shut up. "How do I know?" he asked rhetorically. "Observation, my friend. Logical deduction. What possible purpose can daydreaming about something you are not serve? If you should wish to do something, do it, but if it is not possible in the least then why...ha, ha...why consider it?" What advantage would you have even if you were to accomplish such a goal? To be more free? Pah!" he spat. "To be free is to know, and to know requires an intellect of a man, not a beast."
+++The interview continued on like this for some time, and however odd and extreme the man's policies sounded, it was apparent that at least initially the population was very sympathetic to them. As it so happened, the Lemkizemnyan economy was not the hottest, and it was rather true that the country's contingent of furries were rather more leech-like (and bourgeois) than other countries', and this made them the natural and perfect target.
+++Would something happen to them? Like what? Is that a sentence? Of course not, but nevertheless we shall move on. What about the religious folk that Marco said are also irresponsible? Why are they irresponsible? What will happen to them? What sort of crazy news economic and social change will Lemkizemnya go through in the coming months (and perhaps years)? Just who is this Marco person and what's his story? Where did he come from, and where is he going?
+++Stay tuned.Yes, that is a command, you fool!