Deasrargle
21-11-2007, 01:40
"If a country isn't using their resources productively, then we have the obligation to step in" Winston Churchill
The Unity Room, Palace of the Oireachtas, Freetown
Meeting of the Economic Commission of Kaitan-Leagran
Kaitan-Leagran was, as a country, predisposed to "Committees of the Wise". There were a number of reasons behind this; some said it was a product of the unyielding patriarchy that the powerful Christian churches promoted. Others said that, after 30 years of civil war, the only form of government most people knew was the local meeting of elders, often consisting of clergy and a few psychopaths that passed themselves off as "Community Leaders". And while the Economic Commission was, thankfully, free of the ecclesiastical interference and maniacs, it still operated in the same patrician-style that so many others had done.
The Commission’s goal, as established by the Provisional Government, and now endorsed by the newly elected power-sharing administration, was to find a way of building a national economy from scratch. With much of the economy still functioning on aid, such a task was by no means easy, and one not helped by the obvious tension that had emerged between the various occupants of the gilded committee room.
There were, in general, two types of “expert” on the Commission. The first were expatriates who, after living abroad for so many years, now returned to the newly unified motherland in order to help their fellow creatures better not only themselves but also the country that they had long considered home even if they had never actually set foot there. Such people, to those that had lived through the civil war, were often objects of contempt, bringing with them a host of ideas alien to them and their respective cultures. In return, most expatriates considered their fellow countrymen to be bitter, illiterate trolls that were unsuited to the tasks that fate had given them.
The Commission’s Chairman, one Donald Wolfenden, most certainly fell into the former category. Though raised in a sound Catholic Family near the town of Carrickmacseáin, his family had managed to obtain passage to Finara, and then to Bigtopia, were he had spent the majority of his life in merchant banking. This tall, balding man with thick, dark-rimmed glasses and an aristocratic bearing not suitable to his origins had now returned to the island of his birth in order that he might ‘do his duty’. His preliminary report on the state of play did not make good reading.
“It is clear to me that, from a purely economic perspective, that God’s countenance does not shine on Kaitan-Leagran,” he began with a clear, authoritative voice whose accent and tone so clearly distinguished him as ‘the outsider’.
“Even the most cursory glance at this island’s natural resources demonstrates a distinct lack of anything of material value. It does not possess, for example, much in the way of arable land. Much of the soil here is, for whatever reasons the scientists inform us, largely infertile, meaning that only the most intensive of subsistence farming can produce sufficient food for the average family, and this, of course, discounts the large number of cases of malnourishment that our medical facilities report. If one cannot produce enough food to feed its own peoples, it scarcely needs me to say that it can hardly be marketed as a commodity.
Further, preliminary geological reports reveal little or no resources of any note. Just to choose a number of examples; there is no coal, oil, gas, iron ore, copper, tin, manganese and tungsten. And, ladies and gentlemen, when I say none I really do mean that. Only the most trace amounts of all these substances can be found, not enough to initiate any process of industrialisation.
To be perfectly blunt, the prognosis is bleak.”
“Mr Wolfenden,” began Themistoklis Papakonstantinou from the governing People’s Orthodox Rally, “Surely you can’t be saying that we have no natural resources at all? There must be something on Anacea.”
“You are correct, Mr Papakonstantinou, that is island is not wholly barren,” began the Chairman, “But what does exist does so in exceedingly scarce quantities. The development of any national economy, of any sort, will still require the importation of nearly all those resources that other, more geologically blessed nations, take for granted.”
“Is there any scope, therefore,” began a civil servant from the Finance Ministry, “Of developing a service-based economy?”
“I have discussed that,” said Wolfenden, “At Section 19 of my report, though it would require a sustained and quite large investment in education.”
“But surely,” began the civil servant, “The Aid money is designed for such an task?”
“It is, but it would also require a significant degree of educational reform.”
“Ah.”
Ah indeed, for educational reform was 'the elephant in the room' for politicians of all communal persuasion. Education was, quite simply, the preserve of the Churches and many were entirely happy for the situation to remain like that. Anyone proposing the creation of a national, secular education system on the island was soon exiled to the outermost fringes of political discourse, where many felt it was entirely appropriate that they remain. Further, abrogating responsibility for education also made the whole thing much cheaper to run and, thanks to the relative wealth of the institutions, nigh-universal.
“Then our course is clear,” said Papakonstantinou after a few moments, “We need to obtain the raw materials necessary for us to create a modern economy.”
“Which is fine,” responded Wolfenden, “But how?”
“We shall just have to take over an area of rich natural resources that is currently unclaimed.”
Wolfenden scrutinised the Greek-speaking politician for a few moments, before issuing a bark of laughter.
“Mr Papakonstantinou, if such a place even existed then I am sure it would already be under the ownership of a larger state than our own. I am afraid that the days when someone could plant a flag and claim it for the Empire have long since departed.”
A tense silence fell across room as the two men stared at one another for a few seconds, as though the battle of ideas was not occurring on a much higher plain.
“Well, actually Mr Wolfenden,” began a small, bespectacled man at the end of the table, “That isn’t really the case.”
“Well Mr…er…”
“O’Reilly, sir”
“O’Reilly, from the Foreign Office. Well pray, sir, tell us all of this mythical place.”
“I will.”
The small, beetle-like man rummaged through a battered briefcase before producing a number of lengthy reports. Then, rising from his seat, he proceeded to waddle around the table distributing them.
“As you will all see,” he began with a voice of pride, “We have looking at the problem for some time and have concluded that this provides us with the best hope of achieving all of our economical goals.”
The report showed a large area of land with the word ‘ATANGA’ printed above it. The scale indicated that it was several times larger than Kaitan-Leagran.
“Atanga,” began O’Reilly from the Foreign Office, “Is a large area of previously unclaimed land and which, as you can see on page 9, is rich in every sort of raw material imaginable. We estimate that is has one of the highest natural gas reserves in the world, or at least the north pacific.”
“Which is all very good,” replied Wolfenden, “If the area is completely empty, which I assume it isn’t.”
“Well,” sweated the little man, “We do know that a number of tribes exist within the interior of Atanga, but most of these haven’t changed in thousands of years.”
“You do realise that what you are proposing is the creation of an empire?”
“Empire is too strong a word, I would prefer to call it a benign colonisation. We assume control and bring the natives-up to a certain level of civilisation in exchange..”
“In exchange for their natural resources,” said the chairman with satricial flair, “I cannot believe that you have even prepared such an offensive document. I believe it would be much more productive to address…”
“No no no sir,” interjected Papakonstantinou, “Let’s at least hear him out. How much would this “expedition” cost, exactly?”
“Well,” said O’Reilly, “It’s still in a very preliminary stage, but we don’t think that anything more than an infantry battalion would be required to seize the strategic areas of Atanga.”
“Now really,” said Wolfenden, “This is all too much.”
“I think the plan has merit, and I don’t think we have anything to lose by at least investigating it.”
“Well, Mr Papakonstantinou, if you are so sure of this matter, I propose a vote on the matter. All those who are in favour of rewinding time some 150 years to a time when serious people considered ‘the white man’s burden’ to be something that was positive, please raise your hands.”
Much to the visible consternation of the former merchant banker, every hand around the table rose. All except, of course, his own.
“Then I shall assume that the motion has carried. I believe that is it for today.”
And with that he stormed out the committee room.
A new chapter, it would appear, had just begun.
The Unity Room, Palace of the Oireachtas, Freetown
Meeting of the Economic Commission of Kaitan-Leagran
Kaitan-Leagran was, as a country, predisposed to "Committees of the Wise". There were a number of reasons behind this; some said it was a product of the unyielding patriarchy that the powerful Christian churches promoted. Others said that, after 30 years of civil war, the only form of government most people knew was the local meeting of elders, often consisting of clergy and a few psychopaths that passed themselves off as "Community Leaders". And while the Economic Commission was, thankfully, free of the ecclesiastical interference and maniacs, it still operated in the same patrician-style that so many others had done.
The Commission’s goal, as established by the Provisional Government, and now endorsed by the newly elected power-sharing administration, was to find a way of building a national economy from scratch. With much of the economy still functioning on aid, such a task was by no means easy, and one not helped by the obvious tension that had emerged between the various occupants of the gilded committee room.
There were, in general, two types of “expert” on the Commission. The first were expatriates who, after living abroad for so many years, now returned to the newly unified motherland in order to help their fellow creatures better not only themselves but also the country that they had long considered home even if they had never actually set foot there. Such people, to those that had lived through the civil war, were often objects of contempt, bringing with them a host of ideas alien to them and their respective cultures. In return, most expatriates considered their fellow countrymen to be bitter, illiterate trolls that were unsuited to the tasks that fate had given them.
The Commission’s Chairman, one Donald Wolfenden, most certainly fell into the former category. Though raised in a sound Catholic Family near the town of Carrickmacseáin, his family had managed to obtain passage to Finara, and then to Bigtopia, were he had spent the majority of his life in merchant banking. This tall, balding man with thick, dark-rimmed glasses and an aristocratic bearing not suitable to his origins had now returned to the island of his birth in order that he might ‘do his duty’. His preliminary report on the state of play did not make good reading.
“It is clear to me that, from a purely economic perspective, that God’s countenance does not shine on Kaitan-Leagran,” he began with a clear, authoritative voice whose accent and tone so clearly distinguished him as ‘the outsider’.
“Even the most cursory glance at this island’s natural resources demonstrates a distinct lack of anything of material value. It does not possess, for example, much in the way of arable land. Much of the soil here is, for whatever reasons the scientists inform us, largely infertile, meaning that only the most intensive of subsistence farming can produce sufficient food for the average family, and this, of course, discounts the large number of cases of malnourishment that our medical facilities report. If one cannot produce enough food to feed its own peoples, it scarcely needs me to say that it can hardly be marketed as a commodity.
Further, preliminary geological reports reveal little or no resources of any note. Just to choose a number of examples; there is no coal, oil, gas, iron ore, copper, tin, manganese and tungsten. And, ladies and gentlemen, when I say none I really do mean that. Only the most trace amounts of all these substances can be found, not enough to initiate any process of industrialisation.
To be perfectly blunt, the prognosis is bleak.”
“Mr Wolfenden,” began Themistoklis Papakonstantinou from the governing People’s Orthodox Rally, “Surely you can’t be saying that we have no natural resources at all? There must be something on Anacea.”
“You are correct, Mr Papakonstantinou, that is island is not wholly barren,” began the Chairman, “But what does exist does so in exceedingly scarce quantities. The development of any national economy, of any sort, will still require the importation of nearly all those resources that other, more geologically blessed nations, take for granted.”
“Is there any scope, therefore,” began a civil servant from the Finance Ministry, “Of developing a service-based economy?”
“I have discussed that,” said Wolfenden, “At Section 19 of my report, though it would require a sustained and quite large investment in education.”
“But surely,” began the civil servant, “The Aid money is designed for such an task?”
“It is, but it would also require a significant degree of educational reform.”
“Ah.”
Ah indeed, for educational reform was 'the elephant in the room' for politicians of all communal persuasion. Education was, quite simply, the preserve of the Churches and many were entirely happy for the situation to remain like that. Anyone proposing the creation of a national, secular education system on the island was soon exiled to the outermost fringes of political discourse, where many felt it was entirely appropriate that they remain. Further, abrogating responsibility for education also made the whole thing much cheaper to run and, thanks to the relative wealth of the institutions, nigh-universal.
“Then our course is clear,” said Papakonstantinou after a few moments, “We need to obtain the raw materials necessary for us to create a modern economy.”
“Which is fine,” responded Wolfenden, “But how?”
“We shall just have to take over an area of rich natural resources that is currently unclaimed.”
Wolfenden scrutinised the Greek-speaking politician for a few moments, before issuing a bark of laughter.
“Mr Papakonstantinou, if such a place even existed then I am sure it would already be under the ownership of a larger state than our own. I am afraid that the days when someone could plant a flag and claim it for the Empire have long since departed.”
A tense silence fell across room as the two men stared at one another for a few seconds, as though the battle of ideas was not occurring on a much higher plain.
“Well, actually Mr Wolfenden,” began a small, bespectacled man at the end of the table, “That isn’t really the case.”
“Well Mr…er…”
“O’Reilly, sir”
“O’Reilly, from the Foreign Office. Well pray, sir, tell us all of this mythical place.”
“I will.”
The small, beetle-like man rummaged through a battered briefcase before producing a number of lengthy reports. Then, rising from his seat, he proceeded to waddle around the table distributing them.
“As you will all see,” he began with a voice of pride, “We have looking at the problem for some time and have concluded that this provides us with the best hope of achieving all of our economical goals.”
The report showed a large area of land with the word ‘ATANGA’ printed above it. The scale indicated that it was several times larger than Kaitan-Leagran.
“Atanga,” began O’Reilly from the Foreign Office, “Is a large area of previously unclaimed land and which, as you can see on page 9, is rich in every sort of raw material imaginable. We estimate that is has one of the highest natural gas reserves in the world, or at least the north pacific.”
“Which is all very good,” replied Wolfenden, “If the area is completely empty, which I assume it isn’t.”
“Well,” sweated the little man, “We do know that a number of tribes exist within the interior of Atanga, but most of these haven’t changed in thousands of years.”
“You do realise that what you are proposing is the creation of an empire?”
“Empire is too strong a word, I would prefer to call it a benign colonisation. We assume control and bring the natives-up to a certain level of civilisation in exchange..”
“In exchange for their natural resources,” said the chairman with satricial flair, “I cannot believe that you have even prepared such an offensive document. I believe it would be much more productive to address…”
“No no no sir,” interjected Papakonstantinou, “Let’s at least hear him out. How much would this “expedition” cost, exactly?”
“Well,” said O’Reilly, “It’s still in a very preliminary stage, but we don’t think that anything more than an infantry battalion would be required to seize the strategic areas of Atanga.”
“Now really,” said Wolfenden, “This is all too much.”
“I think the plan has merit, and I don’t think we have anything to lose by at least investigating it.”
“Well, Mr Papakonstantinou, if you are so sure of this matter, I propose a vote on the matter. All those who are in favour of rewinding time some 150 years to a time when serious people considered ‘the white man’s burden’ to be something that was positive, please raise your hands.”
Much to the visible consternation of the former merchant banker, every hand around the table rose. All except, of course, his own.
“Then I shall assume that the motion has carried. I believe that is it for today.”
And with that he stormed out the committee room.
A new chapter, it would appear, had just begun.