NationStates Jolt Archive

Published in bussiness section of the SaintB Times, November 10th

Shitte Pizza Looks to Expand

Thursday, November 9th
Warrick Dunn, Contributing Author
SaintB's own Shitte Pizza, the largest restaraunt chain in the country has anounced today they plan to go international. CEO and Founder Colonel Bobby Lee Shitty held a press conference where he made claims such as, "I am confident in my products, in fact I am so confident in that statement that I will go as far as saying that my pizzas are the best pizzas in the world, garanteed!"
Bobby Lee Shitte is known as one of the savviest entrepenuers in the country. In 1993 he opened the first drive through Shitte Pizza in Dalataire and changed the face of convinience and quality in the nation's Pizzarias. With fair prices, quality entertainment and eventually including a variety of cousines Shitte Pizza became a huge success, eventually spawning over 5,000 stores within the Kingdom of SaintB itself and even creating one of the Kingdoms favorite slang terms, "Well thats just Shitte" (meaning wow thats great) now Bobby Lee looks to expand his multi million saintbill enterprise around the globe.
It remains yet to be seen whether or not Colonel Bobby Lee's idea stinks... or if its just Shitte!

*bump*

Shitte Pizza Radio Spot

Female voice: Honey, do you like me new hair doo?
Male Voice: Wow; thats some shitte hair!

Older Man's Voice: Well.. this must be the shitteist resume I have ever seen!
Young Man's Voice: So do I get the job?
Older: Son! You get the whole company!

Female Voice: Hey Jo, have a shitte day!
Male Voice: You have a shittte day too Jill!

Voice over: Shitte means great! You'll find out just how great shitte is when you go to Shitte Pizza! For a limited time only get the Shitte's Shitte Breakfast combo meal; a medium pizza served cold and a six pack of warm Shitte bear for only $10.88!

Published in ‘The Member,’ the privately run government affairs newsletter in Ueli, November 11th.


BfU Welcomes Shitte Pizza

Today Steven Jones, head of Business for Ueli, let slip his wish to attract the hugely popular Shitte Pizza to Ueli.

When asked by The Guardian about the SaintB based company’s expansion plans, he replied “There haven’t been any negotiations yet, but we are very keen to speak to Lee Shitty about the potential for a chain here.”

The BfU was set up six months ago to support business through Ueli’s tough legal procedures.

To Mister Steven Jones of the BFU

From: 'Colonel' Bobby Lee Shitty

Me and the board of director's would like the opportunity to discuss negotiations between our company, "Shitte Enterprises" and your BFU. A hasty reply would be much appreciated.

SIncerely, Robert Lee Shitty

To Mr. L. Shitte,

We appreciate your interest in the BfU, and we would be happy to discuss any queries you have at all about our services.

Your recent statement about plans to expand your business to an international level has caused great interest in our organization, and we would be very happy to assist you in any way on this (and any other) matter.

Sincerely,

Mr. Steven Jones
Head of BfU

The long and short of things is we would like to expand into your nation, perhaps assistance in finding good locations to initially set up in could be given? We would invest much capitol and resources within your nation.

Shitte Pizza is welcome to expand into Soulia, and we have many excellent locations in Eska (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=542944), our beautiful capital city. If money is an issue, we can arrange a deal of some sort.