NationStates Jolt Archive

There's a hole in the middle of the sea
There's a hole in the middle of the sea
There's a hole, there's a hole
There's a hole in the middle of the sea...

There's a flea on the wing on the fly
On the frog on the bump on the log
In the hole in the middle of the sea.

Children's song

(OOC: This thread takes the form of a presidential debate, the format is similar to the General's Press Conference thread, you can RP a news rep or official of your government asking questions of one or more candidates or running mates, or making a comment. Also, there is a poll.)

It is time for Kahanistan to decide who will be its President for the next three years. The nation has been at war for a long time, and its leadership is due for a change to see how it will survive the next term.

The provisional government, composed mainly of veteran politicians from the era before the Doomani wars, was now to hold elections for permanent officials. Political parties formed within the past year had merged, disbanded, or split into factions, and there were many different parties running for office.

MAINSTREAM PARTIES

Communist Party

Candidate: Nadia Sklenova
Age: 33
Ethnicity: White / Russian
Occupation: Military officer, flight instructor, party general secretary
Education: B.A. in philosophy, Kahanistan Military Academy, 1995
M.A. in political science, New Masada University (formerly University of Kahanistan - Najaster), 2007
Current support: 24%
Platform: Global protection of human rights, removing dependence on Allanean aid, nationalisation of powerful corporations with compensation, increase of minimum wage to $10 / hour or $20,000 / year, improving military training, reducing military personnel, encouragement of immigration.
Brief bio: Served as a military officer from 1995 to the present. Rapidly promoted through the ranks to Lieutenant General. Also a dedicated member of the Communist Party for more than half of her life, from age sixteen. She is credited with the destruction of the Kraven AI Father, and is only the second person, after Marcellus Valens (1935 - 2007) to receive two Heroes of the Republic.
Quotes: "Without human rights, the peoples of the world are as slaves, owned by the state that denies them their rights."
"How can we continue to depend on Allanea? They have given much to us, but we have given so little. It is only a matter of time before they collect, and when they do... it will not be pretty."
Running Mate: Rear Adm. Julius Sextus Valens

Liberal Party

Candidate: Khalid bin Abdullah al-Omari
Age: 59
Ethnicity: Arab
Occupation: Technician, later professor, politician
Education: B.S. in communication, University of Kahanistan - Al-Bahr, 1977
M.S. in education, Kahanistan National University, 1986
Ph.D. in political science, University of Kahanistan - Al-Bahr, 1991
Current support: 17%
Platform: Individual freedom, moderation of interventionist policies, environmentalism, encouragement of immigration.
Brief bio: The sitting President of Kahanistan. A civilian politician, he has supported intervention in human rights abusing nations for most of his career. He assumed the Presidency upon the resignation of President Valens so the latter could assume command of the Kahanistanian military in the Negev invasion by Doomingsland and Whyatica. His approval rating plummeted after he accepted proposals to establish special economic zones where foreign businesses could set up shop.
Quotes: "People of Kahanistan, people of the civilised world, we are in our greatest trial since the Freekish aggression against Kahanistan. The Whyaticans are invading us for flying a plane into occupied territory. Listen again to me. The Whyaticans... are invading us... because we flew an unarmed plane. Into territory they had occupied. They are doing this because we have exposed something vile going on, something that they did not want exposed, and that is that the Whyatican state is ruled by brute beasts who have no desire to improve human rights, contrary to the outrageous lies perpetrated as being its casus belli for the occupation it now carries out! That's right, they went into a state for abusing human rights, and they... abused human rights."
"What we have witnessed in Kraven, and everywhere Kraven soldiers set foot, is the behaviour of unspeakably evil capitalist beasts who have no humanity, compassion, kindness, morality, or decency."
Running Mate: Dr. Margaret Delray

Democratic Party

Candidate: Carl Jenkins
Age: 60
Ethnicity: White / European
Occupation: Military officer, scientist
Education: B.S. in mechanical engineering, Kahanistan Military Academy, 1970
M.S. in physics, Kahanistan National University, 1974
Ph.D. in physics, Kahanistan National University, 1979
Current support: 14%
Platform: Centrist ideology. Supports a pragmatic policy towards interventionism, but advocates massive acceptance of refugees. Advocates individual freedom and a powerful military deterrent.
Brief bio: Assumed command of the Republic Navy when Fleet Admiral Nazmareh was promoted to Defence Minister. During the Doomani invasion of Havenic Kahanistan, he spared the lives of downed pilots who were shot down over the sea, in stark contrast to the vicious butchery often inflicted on those downed on land. He is credited with saving over 2,000 Lucinian enemy soldiers. As a Catholic, he is opposed by anti-Catholic political forces as a possible traitor.
Quotes: "We cannot be the world's police officer. We simply lack the military muscle to go up against the superpowers of the world, Gholgoth states, multinational alliances, the Doomani."
"We can help people more efficiently by bringing them under the protection of our territory than by sending millions of troops to die horribly on some forsaken rock."
"I have never denied being a Catholic, and I will not now. What I deny most vociferously is any allegation of my loyalty being anywhere but to the Republic I have fought for for the last thirty-seven years."
Running Mate: Abdul-Rahman ibn Abdul-Wahid al-Sisroti

Nationalist Party

Candidate: Alyssa Petrova
Age: 35
Ethnicity: White / Russian
Occupation: Military officer, politician
Education: B.A. in political science, Kahanistan Military Academy, 1993
M.A. in political science, Kahanistan National University, 1997
Current support: 22%
Platform: Nationalism, reduced acceptance of foreign aid, stronger military. Is willing to accept immigration regardless of race, creed or colour as long as they are willing to assimilate into Kahanistanian culture and gain fluency in one of the nation's four official languages. Supports intervention only to prevent genocide.
Brief bio: A former member of the Special Combat Service, Kahanistanian special forces. As a captain at age 26, was photographed committing obscene acts with a loaded assault rifle. Nine years later, the photographs were leaked to the pornographic magazine Alldoor Action, and she was the target of a major sexual scandal that threatened her progress within the Nationalist Party until the Party drove out its anti-Catholic faction. She is generally considered one of the more moderate Nationalists.
Quotes: "The Doomani will probably shoot me, or feed me to the lions. But what will they do to those who they feel have been their friends and then betrayed them? What terrible things do they have in store for the Generians?"
"I fail to see what relevance these allegations have to my ability to function as a politician."
Running Mate: Dr. Kemal Abdullah

Libertarian Party

Candidate: Angus McKimble
Age: 40
Ethnicity: White / Scottish
Occupation: Economist, educator
Education: B.S. in economics, Kahanistan National University, 1991
M. Ed., Kahanistan National University, 1994
Ph.D. in economics, University of Kahanistan - Najaster, 1998
Current support: 11%
Platform: Closer political and economic ties with Allanea and other libertarian states. Reduced taxes and more power for business owners. Strengthening of military alliances with libertarian nations and hostility toward communism, even to the point of joining ACID under Questers.
Brief bio: Minister of Commerce since 2004. While initially a socialist, his economic views gradually inched toward the right amid the Allaneanisation of Kahanistanian culture and mass imports from Allanea. He now runs for President as a libertarian candidate.
Quotes: "This economic system will not survive. It has only survived until now because we were not constantly pissing away our budget defending against invasion after invasion."
"I will not take taxpayer money and use it to fund a war in some forsaken part of the world, when we can just as easily take the suffering masses here and provide them with jobs that enable them to contribute."
Running Mate: Dr. Mohammed Hassan ibn Malik

---

EXTREMIST PARTIES

Anti-Catholic Party

Candidate: Aristakis Nikolatos
Age: 37
Ethnicity: Greek
Occupation: Professor, politician
Education: B.A. in political science, Kahanistan National University, 1992
M.A. in political science, Kahanistan National University, 1996
Ph.D. in political science, University of Kahanistan - Najaster, 1999
Current support: 7%
Platform: Extreme nationalism, anti-Catholicism (duh), stronger military. Advocates intervention solely to prevent genocide. Supports the expulsion of all Catholics and the banning of Catholicism.
Brief bio: Raised in a Greek Orthodox family, at first was friendly toward the Catholics. When tensions with Doomingsland grew high, however, he became one of their harshest critics. Over time, he, like many citizens, lost the distinction between Catholic moderates and Doomani extremist Catholics.
Quotes: "They are a primitive, subhuman, barbaric, freedom-hating, Jew-hating, woman-hating race of shits. They really need to be all rounded up and expelled."
"This is the mindset of this Catholic scum that we are allowing into our country! They must all be rounded up and deported, by whatever force is necessary to achieve that end!"
Running Mate: Dr. Ruth Lipshitz

Kahanist Party

Candidate: Efraim Za'ir
Age: 53
Ethnicity: Jewish / Sephardic
Occupation: Clergyman
Education: B.A. in theology, Yeshiva University, 1974
Current Support: 0.5%
Platform: Expelling all "Arab Muslim Nazis" (read: all Arabs and Muslims) and installing a Jewish theocracy (duh). Advocates the purification of Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel) and repopulating it after nuking the Doomani presence. Advocates the nuking of Doomingsland to make the world safe for Jews, and allowing the non-Jewish citizenry to take their former Havenic territory.
Brief bio: Rabbi Za'ir sought to become Chief Rabbi of New Masada, the new capital, after the Doomani invasion, but lost to Dr. Menachem Bergenstein. His politics were considered too extreme for him to have a position of authority, so founded a political party and pushed forth his extremist rhetoric.
Quotes: "The Doomani... are the descendents of the Romans, and we are the descendents of the ancient Judeans. This war will only end when the righteous Jews bless those who bless us and curse those who curse us, and purge the Doomani, yimach sh'mam ve'zikhram, may their names and memories be obliterated, from the earth as we did to Amalek over three thousand years ago."
Running Mate: General Ilan Hofetz

Factio Dei

Candidate: Lucius Rufus Cassius
Age: 72
Ethnicity: White / Spaniard
Occupation: Clergyman
Education: B.A. in theology, International Catholic University, 1956
Current Support: 0.1%
Platform: Doomani Catholic theocracy, alliance with the Imperium Doomanum, segregating non-Catholics into "Infidel Zones" modelled on South African Bantustans.
Brief bio: An ordinary Catholic priest until 1997, when he read the Doomani version of the Bible. He was arrested several times for attempting to incite domestic riots by Catholics in preparation for a coup d'etat by Catholic generals he had groomed as possible leaders. He clashed with the local Archbishop during the sectarian conflicts that took place as a prelude to the most recent Doomani invasion, opposing negotiations with Ayatollah Marwan Vanodeh, leader of the League of Anti-Catholics.
Quotes: "Certainly the people must be aware by now that they cannot stand against Christ's legions."
"If possible, we must save the souls of the heretics and infidels... but if not, we must save our own souls from those who are tainted by Satan."
Running Mate: Dr. Discens Augustus

National Socialist Party

Candidate: Thomas Merrick, Sr.
Age: 46
Ethnicity: White / Germanic
Occupation: Engineer, military officer
Education: B.S. in mathematics, Kahanistan Military Academy, 1984
M.S. in electrical engineering, Oxford, 1989
Current Support: 1.3%
Platform: Anti-Semitism, anti-Catholicism, anti-Arabism, Nazism (duh), military buildup.
Brief bio: A former major in the Republic Marines, discharged administratively for mental health reasons after he was found in uniform speaking before throngs of Neo-Nazis. He is known to be pushing his son through the military academy. He is opposed to the multiculturality of his nation.
Quotes: "The Doomani are right about one thing... we are weak, we are pathetic, we are undeserving of life. We have brought this upon ourselves by race-mixing and interbreeding with the Jews and their evil Arab brethren."
"The Catholic Church... the word 'Catholic' means 'universal.' They hold the dogma of racial equality... they seek to kill the Jew but they are themselves tainted by a Jew-inspired religion. As sure as the Jew must be purified in a final Holocaust, so must the Catholic."
Running Mate: Dr. Ivan Norkov

Juche Party

Candidate: Cho Wong-chin
Age: 42
Ethnicity: North Korean (duh)
Occupation: Politician
Education: B.A. in political science, Kahanistan Military Academy, 1987
Current Support: 0.1%
Platform: Juche, an extremist form of Communism originating in North Korea.
Brief bio: Born in the Negev Desert to illegal Asian immigrants in 1965. While studying his parents' culture, he became enamoured of Juche and its potential applications to a nation constantly at war with superior powers. He believes that a nation under an intelligent dictator can survive and thrive under a similar regime. Expelled from the Communist Party for his extremist views and formed his own party with a few confederates.
Quotes: "Our advantage is that our nation is not ruled by a retard."
Running Mate: Dong Wang-jop

"Hello, I'm Han Talbon, reporter with the City of the Blessed Daily and I have question for Mr. McKimble. If elected what would you do about welfare and health care funding?"

A tall man with jet black hair in a part on the left side of his head said, with a strong Indian Accent,

"This is Fahmi Mehta with the NBBC World News, for those of all parties to answer, if you are elected as president, what will constitute to you as a legitimate reason to use military force?"

Aurum Domus Waste Budget Distribution Department

We are donating 100 million dollars to Factio Dei for epic lulz. That is all.

[Tyrandis Precision Machine Import/Export Corporation]

TPMI/EC will support the electoral campaign of any candidate willing to support our company with special privileges in the Kahanistani aerospace and defense market.

A short, red-haired, long-haired, clearly Scottish man stood up. His thick hair and beard did not go well with his three-piece suit.

"Welfare... now, as a Libertarian, I'm against the government telling people what to do with their money. I cannot in good conscience tell people they must give to the poor, not that I am in favour of letting people starve. I would, of course, run public service announcements strongly encouraging donations to charities. As for health care, it is not the government's place to keep people healthy, or even to keep them contributing citizens. A thoroughly deregulated industry would encourage competition and force costs down."

---

General Sklenova was the first to speak. She was a slender woman in her early 30's, with shoulder-length blonde hair and a wide smile, dressed in a conservative dark grey business suit and midcalf-length skirt. She walked up to the podium with the aid of a cane, apparently suffering from some kind of leg injuries.

"I'll assume you don't refer to an invasion of our territory, in which I think we would all fight, with the possible exception of the Factio Dei. I would consider military force acceptable to prevent a genocide, naturally." she said. "Or to resist slavery in those nations that still practise it. I would not send in troops over every instance of political repression as previous governments have; I'd prefer to focus our limited resources on helping people live safer lives here or in another friendly nation than in killing people."

Khalid bin Abdullah al-Omari, the sitting President who was running for a second term, stood up. He was a tall, powerful Arabic man with a thick beard and still-dark hair. "Pretty much when people are used as currency, or as personal property... or treated as vermin to be eradicated. When people are using WMD on civilian population centres... we have experienced that first hand."

Admiral Jenkins spoke next. He was roughly the same age as the President, but a white man with white hair, and was also large, though not as big as al-Omari. He was the only candidate in full uniform.

"If there is anything that can be learned from our war with the Questarian Commonwealth... it is that our military must be focused specifically as a defence force. While I support intervening in genocides, I cannot... countenance weakening our own national security to enforce all manner of other human rights. I am sorry if I sound cold, and people who feel their rights are violated are more than welcome to come here."

McKimble simply shook his head. "Like my Libertarian counterpart... should I be elected... in Allanea, I will not take money from the mouths of our children and use it to load rifles to kill Doomani or Kravenites or Pwnagians in some Third World crap hole unless they come to us."

Senator Petrova stood up. Like Sklenova, she was dressed in a conservative business suit; there was no trace of the wild girl from nine years earlier. She was also a thin woman, though taller and more athletic than the other woman. When she spoke, she sounded more commanding.

"Well, those of you who know about me... know that the controversial pictures (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=523765) of me were taken while I was on a special forces mission with some resistance members. You all know I'm a combat veteran. I have no regrets about my military service or my celebration. I feel I performed an honourable deed in the jungles in that campaign. However, religious persecution in this day and age does not merit military intervention unless it rises to genocide, as the Nazi persecution of Jews and similar genocides against other religions have."

Senator Nikolatos spoke next, the first of the extremist candidates to do so. He was a tall, powerful man of Greek descent. Like most of the other male candidates, he was dressed in a suit and tie.

"Wherever the Doomani... wherever any Catholic militant nation... raises their hand to commit war crimes, to spread their evil religion of hate, terror, misogyny, imperialism and hypocrisy to lands unbefouled by that wicked ideology, I would send the full force of our military to crush this cancer on all humanity."

The next candidate was a Jewish man in his 50's, of very frail build and sporting a beard that looked like he had been growing it his whole life. It went down to near his groin. Rabbi Dr. Efraim Za'ir crept behind the microphone as his Hellenic opponent finished.

"I agree with Dr. Nikolatos on his stance regarding the Doomani, this sworn enemy of all humanity, this blight, this pestilence, this spawn of Amalek. However, I believe that the rest of the world... we should focus on retaking the Holy Land from the Amalekite-Doomani, expelling the Arab Muslim Nazis from the land we have here, and the rest of the world... is the province of the righteous Gentiles. We merely want the land that HaShem has given us as an eternal birthright in order to live as Jews the way HaShem intended Jews to live."

Thomas Merrick, Sr., was the next man to speak, and he was dressed in camo with swastika armbands, as if to antagonise the Jewish extremist.

"First, I am a Nazi. And I don't like Muslims any more than I like Jews. Muslims are dangerous terrorists who kill and rape for fun, they are no different from Doomani. When I take over, I will build up our military to protect us from the world and it will ONLY act if we are invaded. I will build death camps for the Jews, the Muslims, and the Catholics. All other minorities like blacks will be sent back to where they came from. Communist men will be shot for treason."

He looked straight at General Sklenova. "Communist women will be taken as comfort women for our Aryan soldiers and raped." The young woman looked at him in shock, staggered over to a nearby bench, and sat down next to Admiral Jenkins. He placed an arm around her as she started crying. She had always been overly emotional.

A small Asian man stepped up. "Cho Wong-Chin, Juche Party. I would say I agree with the Nazi regarding our military, but not with his economic views or his threat to kill and rape us. Miss Sklenova's economic views, wanting to kick the foreign investors out, are well and good, but she doesn't go far enough. We need to become completely self-sufficient, and that requires a military capable of defending us with purely domestic technology, and a home-grown industry."

A tall, old man walked up, dressed in the robes of a Catholic Cardinal, but with a Doomani flag armband over each of his arms. Cardinal Cassius took the microphone.

"I will impose laws based on the Catholic code, pre-Vatican 2. I will bring back the Inquisition. I realise that not everyone will want to convert, and here is the only area at which I would disagree with the Imperium - I would send those who do not wish to convert to Infidel Zones, zones for Jews, for Baptists, for Puritanians..."

An aide whispered in the Cardinal's ear, and he looked stunned for a second before resuming speaking. "Puritans, Muslims, Protestants, Orthodox Christians, even atheists, but Satanists will be deported or killed. The zones would have autonomous governing bodies, but be supplied by our government. Those who want to leave the country would be allowed."

"I would consider it meriting military intervention if Catholics were persecuted or discriminated against, or if a Catholic government threatened the reputation of the Faith."

---

OFFICIAL STATEMENT

FACTIO DEI

We thank the Aurum Doman government for its generous gift. However, we believe such a gift should have been kept secret; we are not a popular organisation even among local Catholics, who see us as heretical, let alone among the infidel masses who see us as traitors.

Signed,
Cardinal Lucius R. Cassius

[Tyrandis Precision Machine Import/Export Corporation]

TPMI/EC will support the electoral campaign of any candidate willing to support our company with special privileges in the Kahanistani aerospace and defense market.

The Libertarian Party will allow Tyrandisian corporations to conduct business in Kahanistan if elected.

We would like, if possible, to negotiate D.P.R. for the Shukusei, whose Doomani variant, the Atratus, is completely responsible for our defeat at the hands of the Doomani.

Of course, only if I win would I be able to conduct these negotiations.

Angus McKimble,
Libertarian Party

[Tyrandis Precision Machine Import/Export Corporation]

The offer by the Libertarian Party of Kahanistan is satisfactory to our board of directors; please refer to private channels for further discussion. We have available large quantities of gold bullion which can be liquidated into dollar amounts and wired to the LP's accounts as soon as possible.

Our company hopes that your esteemed organization will triumph over the sad rabble of fanatics and tyrants that infest the political discourse of your nation. We will speak of the matter of business transactions at a later date, assuming a Libertarian victory in the elections.

Official Communique, Axis Nova Ministry of Foreign Affairs

We here in Axis Nova put our full support behind Miss Sklenova. To that end, we are preparing a two part aid package for Kahanistan, with the first part consisting of one billion dollars in gold bullion, 10,000 heavy trucks, 3000 pieces of various earth-moving equipment, 4,000 tons of medical supplies, 2,000 tons of modern textbooks for science and mathematics, 5,000 tons of enriched uranium, 250 gallons of tritium, and the rest to be discussed after her election victory. In addition, a donation of 300 million dollars will be wired to the account of her campaign staff's choice if she wishes.

We stress that the first part of the aid package shall be given to Kahanistan with no strings attached, and no obligation to act in our interests shall be implied in any way by this gift.

Fahmi then said,
"This is to the Anti-Catholic Party, Kahanist Party, Factio Dei, National Socialist Party, and the Juche Party. I have not heard mch on your economic policies, what are they?"

Normally, I'd never accept foreign contributions to my campaign, but with the Libertarians promising the import of Tyrandisian aircraft (whose 13,000:0 kill ratio, as I have said before in an angry letter to a Juumanistran critic, is overtly propagandistic and false advertising), and people sending Factio Dei generous aid packages, by some admissions, for "epic lulz", I see no choice but to accept.

While there is no realistic hope of more than a few hundred thousand people genuinely supporting a pro-Doomani organisation in this nation, there is the possibility that several million will vote for them for "epic lulz" and possibly swing the election in favour of the Libertarians or worse. I therefore, reluctantly, accept this campaign contribution, and offer my most profound thanks to the Government of Axis Nova for their assistance to our educational institutions.

Signed,
Lieutenant General Nadia Sklenova,
Kahanistanian Air Force

Fahmi then said,
"This is to the Anti-Catholic Party, Kahanist Party, Factio Dei, National Socialist Party, and the Juche Party. I have not heard mch on your economic policies, what are they?"

The Juche Party leader rolled his eyes. "We are Communists. We want a Juche Communist system like that which exists in North Korea. Absolute loyalty to the Dear Leader, complete economic independence from foreign powers, and equal distribution of wealth."

The Factio Dei chief shook his head in disgust. "Communism... bah! I support a policy of Absolute Capitalism. I suppose my Juche and Communist comrades will call me a whore... they are the whores, they are the ones putting a woman - a rather attractive one at that - up as a viable political candidate. Absolute Capitalism is all about the cheapest good for the best price." The Cardinal was not much of an economist, but his support for Doomani policies had blinded him to the worse aspects of capitalism.

The National Socialist looked with even more disgust at the first two. "We support a policy of zero unemployment, massive production of consumer goods, and massive arms production for shifting to a defensive war economy."

The Anti-Catholic candidate simply nodded at the National Socialist. His main difference with them was that he did not support genocide or anti-Semitism; in fact, his VP candidate was a Jewish woman whose Jewish son had been killed in action by the Doomani.

"I see nothing wrong with the National Socialist economic model. It is their racism which bothers me."

The Kahanist Party candidate was furious. These extremists were... well, extremists! And they were just disgusting, filled with the most vile, self-hating pieces of excrement.

"An economy guided by Torah Judaism and the rulings of the Talmudic sages, may the memories of these righteous men be blessed. We will lend to many nations and borrow from none. We will become the world economic superpower." It was clear that his religious fanaticism had left him ignorant here - he was relying on old religious texts for modern economic guidance.

Telegram from Pope Baari IV, to the Congress of Kahanistan.
The Church of Centeral Anatolia, which practices catholicism, feels that the Anti-Catholic party's candidate should be executed and the party outlawed. We feel that it is the duty of the people of Kahanistan, whom you represent, to make sure parties like this can never rise to power. It would hurt relations between our two countries if you were to allow such a party to even appear on the ballot. Consider the consequences of this parties actions, and the consequences of your inaction.

Telegram from Pope Baari IV, to President Ataturk.
The elections in Kahanistan are on the horizon and one of the candidates running for office threatens to undermine our religious and moral authority in the world. The Church of Centeral Anatolia has sent word to Kahanistan, telling them of our concerns, but if they ignore our concerns I am depending on you to take care of the situation, by any means.

Telegram from President Ataturk, to General Mohammed.
General, the current situation in Kahanistan is delicate. The country is on the brink of civil war, and there are many factions competing for control of the country. The Communist Party is my governments greatest concern, however the Pope has expressed concern over the Anti-Catholic candidate, Aristakis Nikolatos. He has instructed me to deal with the candidate, by any means neccesary. Should diplomacy fail, I trust you'll have military action lined up. However, should military action prove neccesary, we feel that it should be carried out in top secret, we do not want war with Kahanistan and we do not want to unite them behind an Anti-Catholic candidate. Make sure whatever course of action you're prepared to take, is taken with the utmost secrecy and percision.

From the desk of Dr. Aristakis Nikolatos, Member of the Kahanistanian Senate and Leader of the Anti-Catholic Party

The Anti-Catholic Party came into existence as a political movement as a response to Doomani terrorist genocide and Catholic warmongering imperialistic aggression against our people. It disgusts me that you would consider that I should be killed for expressing political views at variance with your misogynistic hate cult of Satan.

We do not ban controversial politicians from running for office. I personally do not like that Factio Dei, the self-styled Party of God, runs a candidate and receives billions in aid packages to spread their evil propaganda about their murderous religion. Would I ban them? I would like to see them rounded up and sent back to Doomingsland, but that has to be done by the will of the people. If they love Doomingsland so badly, let them live there.

If the people want me to lead them and expel the Catholic menace, they will vote for me. Otherwise, they are free to vote for these bloodthirsty lunatics who also want to take power.

Signed,
Dr. Aristakis Nikolatos,
Member of the Senate

The People's Maoist Party of The Ryou Black Islands Surports the Communist Canidate.