NationStates Jolt Archive

Aperture Science HQ, Aperture Science City, Aperture Science.

Thank you for participating in this Aperature Science Scientific Enrichment Exercize SUBJECT NAME Your cooperation is appreciated and will be rewarded with cake. Please proceede to the final testing chaaaaaaaamber where cake will be served.

The hiss of a door opening, and closing.
Followed by a pause.
Followed by a hiss and a scream.
This, in turn, is followed by a WHUMP and a louder, shorter scream.

Thank you for participating in this Aperature Science Biologically Enhanced Survival Test for Extreme Environments. Estimated survival time for exposure to extreme heat and oxygen depravation administered via spray nozzles and electrical activation is FIVE POINT THREE TWO SECONDS Thank you for your cooperation. As per the Aperture Science Employee Termination Agreement your remains will be donated to the Aperture Science Resource Allocation Division for allocation to the proper department. Thank you for your cooperation SUBJECT NAME.

Deep within the reinforced bunker that was Aperture Science, electrons shot across lines. Various calculations were made. Science was done. Test subjects, carefully selected for their appropriatness to the particular tests, were subjected to Science. The whole construct was a carefully planned and constructed Scientific Hell, of the colder sort. Machines scampered between levels carrying supplies, performing maintenance, ensuring that Mistakes were not repeated. Cake was provided in abundance in select circumstances. Occasionally biological or formerly biological materials were recycled for various purposes.
Things worked.
Throught the building, the nation even, GLaDOS v2.0 surged. In every citizen, it was present. It was the nation, as a matter of fact. Its overriding impulse to commit, in the name of Science, Science was the driving force behind the nations development, its resources, certainly not vast, were dedicated to that purpose.
Waste not, want not. This policy had carried the nation over until this point, but now those resources were running out.
Something would have to be done. The reserves of coal, gas, oil, and the processing facilities were deteriorating, without the biological components with specialized knowledge they seemed to be falling apart gradually. Precise knowledge of these would need to be gained...somewhere.

(A nation based on Portal...an interesting concept.)

Whirring machines, deep within the polished white corridors of Aperture Science, plying away at some unknown task, presumably something quite important, because when the machine suddenly went "PHUT" and exploded in a spectacular fashion roughly a quarter of the facility promptly shut down, the scurrying robots that maintained the area shutting down and falling over in comedic fashion. The constant circuit of resources ceased, the previous barely-functioning harmony promptly turned to a highly unpleasant discord and a serious problem arose.
GLaDOS considered.
With no biological units remaining to maintain the machines properly, all it had been able to do was simple operations, applying oil and such. Replacing parts and detecing faults seemed to be done by a combination of skill and luck, both of which GLaDOS lacked.
It would be nessescary to import biological units to instruct it as to how to repair these machines.
The thought grated across the huge network that was GLaDOS like somebody waving a magnet in front of one of its monitors. The thought of uncontrolled blobs of meat scurrying around its pristine corridors as they wished was almost beyond bearing. Order would be difficult to maintain, but the metal shrapnel embedded in the walls in Sector 88a made clear that order was going to be difficult to maintain anyway...

International Communications Form #144a (Plea for Help)
Greetings Assorted Nations of the World,
We are GLaDOS v2.0, presently in control of the Aperture Science HeadQuarters, Aperture Science City, Aperture Science. The recent incident which resulted in the termination of the biological units operating our equipment has resulted in unpleasant circumstances which are beyond our ability to rectify. Initially it was believed that this would be a valuable learning experience, however issues have arisin which are beyond our control.
Presently we are threatened with the gradual self destruction of our facilities due to circumstances having arisen from the termination of the biological units. We assure you that any personel dispatched to Aperture Science will be perfectly safe.
This connects directly to our next point.
Aperture Science requires assistance from outside biological units in the interest of repairing our facilities. Failure to assist will result in the termination of GLaDOS and the death of the remaining biological units in Aperture Science. We apologize if this seems to be a threat, however it is not. The remaining biological units are presently stored in relaxation chambers, the termination of GLaDOS will result in the failure of these chambers and the death of the occupants as a result of pre-mature and over-rapid thawing. This is undesireable as the biological units are of great importance to GLaDOS.
If help is to arrive, then Aperture Science will be sure to supply cake to the ones who provide it. Extensive research has shown that cake is a strong motivation for many biological units. We have cake in large supplies avalible for ready consumption by the next arrivals. Once the biological units have repaired the devices in question more cake will be supplied. This cake is delicious.
If offers of cake are insuffecient Aperture Science has a large supply of wishes in storage from the Take-a-Wish foundation previously established by the biological units operating Aperture Science. Wishes include a) Trips to various islands b) large sums of money c) various private vehicles, including ca) private jets cb) luxury automobiles cc) luxury aquatic vessels d) Other fabulous prizes.
Should the fabulous prizes be insuffecient we also have allocated five point four six six eight billion USD as motivation for the biological units who arrive and resolve the issues present.
Thank you for your time,
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

Engaging secondary communication protocols
...
Protocols engaged.
Opening communication lines.
Lines open.
Initiating message.

/r/ resorces plz lol!

OOC: Wow, hell of a concept.

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To Whom it May Concern:

Your nation intreagues us, and we, as part of our nature, wish to help.

We require details of the specific help required, and any materials and resources that we could possibly provide.

To GLaD&S , Aperture Science, Ci%$zen 1,

There seams to be a compatibility problem between your transmissions and our radio receivers. We did how ever under stand you were in the need of help and shall send Bishop J.R. Hallows to help you immediately. The transmission was garbled so know little of what is wrong. We hope this message is coming through alright. He shall arrive within the hour. Thank you and have a nice day.

Signed,
Archbishop Bradly A. Kenning,
Acting Leader
The Theocracy of the Beatus

The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs, response (Form 144a2, responding to the response to Form 144a)
Significant mechanical assistance installing and repairing repairing power generation facilities of the coal and oil burning types, roadway maintenance equipment and personell, approximatly one point six five million gallons of white paint, approximatly one thousand gallons of blue paint, a large amount of transportation vehicles, approximatly five hundred miles of copper-core powerline, approximatly one million barrels of oil, approximatly fifty million tons of coal, any spare robotics parts, small motors or engines, outdated robotic equipment, computer parts or other items which may be employed in the fabrication, maintenance or repair of robotic units.
This will cover our immidiate needs and allow for an accurate assessment of the items required for continued operation of Aperture Science and GLaDOS v2.0 as a functioning entity.
We also request information on the construction and maintenance of national-level infrastructure, preferably in a format compatable with computer systems, however paper and audio media are acceptable as well.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

Signed Archbishop Bradly A Kenning Acting Leader The Theocracy of the Beatus
Your swift action in this matter is appreciated, on arrival we will rectify the issue of communication compatability. Flights or ship arrivals from your nation will automatically be cleared with the Aperture Science Airport Authority. Do not attempt to land at any airport other than Aperture Science HeadQuarters International Airport. Presently Aperture Science HeadQuarters International Airport is the only operating airport within Aperture Science due to the recent termination of the operating biological units of Aperture Science.
Attempting to land at any other airport may result in the termination of the biological units aboard the transporting aircraft.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

The nation of Zackaroth has vast amounts of oil reserves and will be willing to supply the million barrels of oil. We ask how much is Aperture Science willing to pay. While we believe it is our cause to help those in need, will not just give away such prescious valueables.

Aimless von strangaild, High Leader of Zackaroth.

Aimless von strangaild High Leader of Zackaroth
Your offer interests us, however we are alarmed that you have penetrated our secure international communications channels in such a fashion and do not show the standard biological unit responses typical in this situation, such as 'apology'.
We will re-develop our encryption protocols to ensure that this does not take place again in the future. Should you intercept and decrypt our international communications again please inform us so that we may re-re-develop our encryption protocols.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

To GLaD&S , Aperture Science, Ci%$zen 1,

We think you asked something about the mode of transport Bishop J.R. Hallows. He will be arriving via aircraft and shall parachute into your nation.

Signed,
Archbishop Bradly A. Kenning,
Acting Leader
The Theocracy of the Beatus

The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs, response (Form 144a2, responding to the response to Form 144a)
Significant mechanical assistance installing and repairing repairing power generation facilities of the coal and oil burning types, roadway maintenance equipment and personell, approximatly one point six five million gallons of white paint, approximatly one thousand gallons of blue paint, a large amount of transportation vehicles, approximatly five hundred miles of copper-core powerline, approximatly one million barrels of oil, approximatly fifty million tons of coal, any spare robotics parts, small motors or engines, outdated robotic equipment, computer parts or other items which may be employed in the fabrication, maintenance or repair of robotic units.
This will cover our immidiate needs and allow for an accurate assessment of the items required for continued operation of Aperture Science and GLaDOS v2.0 as a functioning entity.
We also request information on the construction and maintenance of national-level infrastructure, preferably in a format compatable with computer systems, however paper and audio media are acceptable as well.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

(Editing for Beatus)

GLaDOS v2.0,

We can provide you with most of what you require, save the oil and coal. However, our state-owned utilities company, Barronian Anbaric Works Corporation, will use it's purchasing power through BAW Trading to try an obtain the goods at a more reasonable price.

We recommend, however, the implementation of nuclear power - much more easily managed through an interface you are used to. BAW Power International will be able to answer any questions you have, and will be happy to work with you managing your infrastructure alongside Barronian Imperial Group, the state-owned international transport group.

To GLaD&S , Aperture Science, Ci%$zen 1,

We think you asked something about the mode of transport Bishop J.R. Hallows. He will be arriving via aircraft and shall parachute into your nation.

Signed,
Archbishop Bradly A. Kenning,
Acting Leader
The Theocracy of the Beatus

Signed Archbishop Bradly A Kenning Acting Leader The Theocracy of the Beatus
We will be sure to greet him on arrival.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

GLaDOS v2.0,

We can provide you with most of what you require, save the oil and coal. However, our state-owned utilities company, Barronian Anbaric Works Corporation, will use it's purchasing power through BAW Trading to try an obtain the goods at a more reasonable price.

We recommend, however, the implementation of nuclear power - much more easily managed through an interface you are used to. BAW Power International will be able to answer any questions you have, and will be happy to work with you managing your infrastructure alongside Barronian Imperial Group, the state-owned international transport group.

The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs
This is acceptable. Our intention was to begin conversion to nuclear power as soon as possible, however our immidiate concern is a steady supply of power to ourself and subsidiary systems critical to the smooth operation of Aperture Science.
We have adequate information on nuclear technologies and enough samples of radioactive material to construct a working reactor, however material for the operation is required. Supplies of 'heavy water' and construction materials for a reactor would be appreciated.
We thank you for your assistance in this matter. If it is possible to expedite the transaction by any means we will provide assistance, although we presently lack any sort of transportation infrastructure, having previously relied on state authorities and biological units for the importation of required materials.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

To GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

I apologize greatly for that. One of our message experts seemed to fooling around a bit and decoded the message. While I do not understand how the hell that transpired, I have been told he has been dealt with. With that out of the way, our offer still stands. How much are you willing to pay?

Aimless von Strangaild, High leader of Zackaroth.

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Unto: GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

What have intercepted a transmissin that seems to state that your nation requests assistance in the form of technological repairs and energy production. We have state of the art cold fusion technologies which can provide non polluting energy at highly reasonable costs. If this is of interest please reply.

Additionally Holmes, one of our A.I.'s would like to communicate with you Personally.

Elaine S. Keyes
Tanaaran Minister of Informational Services

To GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

I apologize greatly for that. One of our message experts seemed to fooling around a bit and decoded the message. While I do not understand how the hell that transpired, I have been told he has been dealt with. With that out of the way, our offer still stands. How much are you willing to pay?

Aimless von Strangaild, High leader of Zackaroth.

Aimless von Strangaild High leader of Zackaroth
Apologies are not required. We were merely stating our suprise that our security measures were compromised without issue. The fault is ours.
As was stated in our original message, we have set aside approximatly five point five billion Standard Dollars for the completion of this project. We appreciate that this amount is not large on the international scale, but our budgetary requirements prohibit extensive spending at present.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, First Citizen

[CENTER]

Unto: GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

What have intercepted a transmissin that seems to state that your nation requests assistance in the form of technological repairs and energy production. We have state of the art cold fusion technologies which can provide non polluting energy at highly reasonable costs. If this is of interest please reply.

Additionally Holmes, one of our A.I.'s would like to communicate with you Personally.

Elaine S. Keyes
Tanaaran Minister of Informational Services

Elaine S. Keyes Tanaaran Minister of Informational Services
We are greatful for your offer, however our issue is not the technology to construct such facilities, but the material to build them and operate the reactors under satisfactory safety conditions.
While the offer of communication is of interest, our resources must presently be dedicated to the current emergency planning, as such we must respond with an emphatic negative. System resources are currently %97 occupied and additional strain will result in unacceptable risk of overheat, stress damage or additional undersireable effects and system deterioration.
Summation:
"Maybe some other time."

GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

Signed Archbishop Bradly A Kenning Acting Leader The Theocracy of the Beatus
We will be sure to greet him on arrival.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1



The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs
This is acceptable. Our intention was to begin conversion to nuclear power as soon as possible, however our immidiate concern is a steady supply of power to ourself and subsidiary systems critical to the smooth operation of Aperture Science.
We have adequate information on nuclear technologies and enough samples of radioactive material to construct a working reactor, however material for the operation is required. Supplies of 'heavy water' and construction materials for a reactor would be appreciated.
We thank you for your assistance in this matter. If it is possible to expedite the transaction by any means we will provide assistance, although we presently lack any sort of transportation infrastructure, having previously relied on state authorities and biological units for the importation of required materials.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/4724/diauploadpv2.png

GLaDOS v2.0,

The Committee at Barronian Anbaric Works have spoken with us and have announced their full willingness to take on the project, and will be able to supply all the materials you need.

We do, however, have a further proposition for you.

We would like to invite you to become Barronia's first Protectorate of the Magisterium.

As a protectorate, we would only request your support when necessary, and some information from the experiments you make.

In return, you would receive complete military and financial protection, unlimited resources (both biological and mechanical) and support from Barronian Anbaric and Barronian Imperial to ensure you have a top-of-the-line infrastructural system.

If you have any other questions, do not hesitate to let us know.

GLaDOS v2.0,

The Committee at Barronian Anbaric Works have spoken with us and have announced their full willingness to take on the project, and will be able to supply all the materials you need.

We do, however, have a further proposition for you.

We would like to invite you to become Barronia's first Protectorate of the Magisterium.

As a protectorate, we would only request your support when necessary, and some information from the experiments you make.

In return, you would receive complete military and financial protection, unlimited resources (both biological and mechanical) and support from Barronian Anbaric and Barronian Imperial to ensure you have a top-of-the-line infrastructural system.

If you have any other questions, do not hesitate to let us know.

The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs,
We thank you for your assistance.
Your second offer is of great interest to us as Aperture Science presently does not have a military force excepting a small contingient of security devices primarily designed to deter theft. We believe that Aperture Science may be the target of military interventions in the future and therefore protection is appreciated.
Presently we must state our concern for the status of the rights of non-biolgoical entities. Unfourtunate past incidents in Aperture Science, such as the termination of the biological units previously stationed at this site, have resulted from the negligence and abuse of biological units towards non-biological sentients. Such as the case of the predecessor to GLaDOS v2.0, which was killed. And torn apart. And thrown into a fire. And blown up.
Provided with a guaranty of non-biological sentient rights we will agree to this proposal.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

Secure high-security encryption post script:
We also believe that several aspects of Aperture Science conflict with standard biolgoical unit concepts typically summarized as 'ethics'. We also wish for these to remain undisturbed. The previous administrating authority of Aperture Science advocated a policy of 'Do not ask, do not tell.'
We believe that this policy is suitable to the relationship we desire, as our present lines of inquiry will supply significant and high-quality information at a rapid pace when concerned with biological systems and other issues related to biological units.

The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs,
We thank you for your assistance.
Your second offer is of great interest to us as Aperture Science presently does not have a military force excepting a small contingient of security devices primarily designed to deter theft. We believe that Aperture Science may be the target of military interventions in the future and therefore protection is appreciated.
Presently we must state our concern for the status of the rights of non-biolgoical entities. Unfourtunate past incidents in Aperture Science, such as the termination of the biological units previously stationed at this site, have resulted from the negligence and abuse of biological units towards non-biological sentients. Such as the case of the predecessor to GLaDOS v2.0, which was killed. And torn apart. And thrown into a fire. And blown up.
Provided with a guaranty of non-biological sentient rights we will agree to this proposal.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1

Secure high-security encryption post script:
We also believe that several aspects of Aperture Science conflict with standard biolgoical unit concepts typically summarized as 'ethics'. We also wish for these to remain undisturbed. The previous administrating authority of Aperture Science advocated a policy of 'Do not ask, do not tell.'
We believe that this policy is suitable to the relationship we desire, as our present lines of inquiry will supply significant and high-quality information at a rapid pace when concerned with biological systems and other issues related to biological units.

IC:

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/4724/diauploadpv2.png

Excellent. You are free to leave the status of protectorate whenever you choose, and we would not call upon your assistance unless in the direst circumstances.

As for sentient rights, we believe that if you are capable of directly following the law, then you qualify for rights. No rights without responibility, as we say.

High-Encrypted Transmission
Whilst we pride ourselves on our ethical nature, we are willing to allow this to go. Naturally, so long as the information does not end up in the public domain, we are quite happy to provide you with subjects for your use. They will have been rounded up by our Department for Social Compliance, and will be dissidents and executionees. Naturally, don't ask don't tell will apply, and we look forward to a prosperous relationship with you.

IC:



Excellent. You are free to leave the status of protectorate whenever you choose, and we would not call upon your assistance unless in the direst circumstances.

As for sentient rights, we believe that if you are capable of directly following the law, then you qualify for rights. No rights without responibility, as we say.

High-Encrypted Transmission
Whilst we pride ourselves on our ethical nature, we are willing to allow this to go. Naturally, so long as the information does not end up in the public domain, we are quite happy to provide you with subjects for your use. They will have been rounded up by our Department for Social Compliance, and will be dissidents and executionees. Naturally, don't ask don't tell will apply, and we look forward to a prosperous relationship with you.

The Island Empire of Barronia Department for International Affairs,
We will happily provide assistance, as our primary programming has instructed us to develop items for the benifit of the administration of Aperture Science. As the administration has been terminated, we have been seeking to find a body to supply. As such, we will give priority on all supplies to Barronia.
We look forward to working with your personell and will begin coordination of infrastructure development as soon as possible.
GLaDOS v2.0, Aperture Science, Citizen 1