NationStates Jolt Archive

Announcement of Kevin Nivensky, CEO, Allanean Arms Corporation

As I have recently profited greatly from the sales of Angstrom Gigacarrier production rights, and because I think the Doomani are a glowing bunch of international idiots, I hereby announce a fund to rebuild the economy of the Kahanistani survivors, and ease the setting up of their new homeland. As such, I am willing to provide one trillion dollars in a variety of currencies as a donation to the Kahanistani people. This will come out to $2,200 dollars per every Kahanistani refugee.

Further, I call on all the decent people of the world to provide aid to the Kahanistani.

Official Statement of the Provisional Government of the Free Republic of Kahanistan

We are most deeply grateful for the aid that has been heaped upon our once proud nation by the international community to heal our wounds from the Doomani and their Questarian slave-allies. We intend to use it to build new infrastructure, treat those civilians and soldiers who have been wounded for our people, maintain our famous educational and health care systems, and build a new defence force for the protection of our people from those who would exploit it.

Signed,
Dr. Khalid bin Abdullah al-Omari,
President of the Provisional Government

[OOC: COMECON's given some foreign aid. Link: Is peace really intolerable? (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=540126)]

Official Announcement from the Kroandon Charity Foundation

We are pleased to announce, that due to a surplus in supplies, we shall be donating the following materials.

x2 Dirty Old Socks
x1 Half-Melted Rubber Band
x64 Cents
x1 Used band-aid
x2 Torn Sweaty Undershirts
x1 Stray Brown Dog named 'Odot'
x1 Pint expired axel grease
x1 1957 Edition of Webster's Dictionary
x3 Old green retainers
x2 Sharp spoons
And a two headed gold fish.

Official Announcement by the Department of Research, Evolution, and Developement

Dear Dr. Khalid bin Abdullah al-Omari!

We hear you have been donated a two-headed goldfish. We wish to purchase this goldfish for 45 million dollars for our bioweapons research labs.

Official Announcement by the University of Concord, Liberty City

We wish to purchase the 1957 Webster’s Dictionary for 150 million dollars for the University Museum.


Official Announcement by Alexander Kazansky

I kind of like Odot. I will be buying the dog for 1 billion dollars because I’m a wealthy, arrogant fuck like that.

Official USSW Support for the Rebuilding of Kahanistan
First of all, I would like to say one phrase: "We remember." As with the prior attempts to eradicate the Kahanistani nation and their ancestors in the Holy Land, we remember what happened even if the allies of Caesar Maximus may lie and dissemble to shift the blame onto their victims. We remember the black day that billions were slain, for trying to defend their homes and lives from ruin and desolation brought upon them without reason. And we remember our obligations to the oppressed; not merely because of alliance, but of simple compassion.

Hence, Mr. Nivensky, I too will authorize the commitment of a further five-hundred billion dollars from our Commerce budget immediately transferable to whatever secret accounts you will require of us; this on top of our standing donation per annum of five-hundred billion as well until the Kahanistani need is alleviated. I also have it from my wife, the Secretary General of the United Federation of Allied Nations Christine Friedrich, that one trillion dollars is authorized for disbursement to the Kahanistani from our disaster fund. Many will not like this effort, but together the free peoples of the world are stronger than those who side with the tyrants for whatever reason. And with Kahanistan under shelter and aid, we shall triumph yet again despite this monstrous crime inflicted against them by the Doomani; already their people largely remain, and that is half the battle won indeed.

Sincerely in Solidarity,
Charles D. Lind
Commander-in-Chief, USSW War Office
Party Secretary, Wagdian Revolutionary Party
General Secretary, USSW Revolutionary Command Council

Encrypted Message

Certainly; we have no use for the diplomatic insult from the Kroando Charity Association. The goods will be distributed by private courier.

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars

Funds per refugee: $5,558

Being of a particularly sensitive mind to the plights of impoverished refugees, the Associated Peanut Growers of the Greater Balkan Region wish to donate the total sum of $15,000, along with 400 tons of fine Hungarian peanuts. The Society of Obscenely Wealthy Tea Drinking Pseudo Intellectuals has also chipped in by donating a wide variety of leftist campaign posters dating back to 1926, six gold snuff-boxes, and fourteen expensive watches, and is currently organising pro-Kahanistan demonstrations throughout Hungary and Slovenia as well as within the tiny autonomous nation of Vojvodina-Nihon. The Society for the Preservation of Rare and Endangered Animals has sent Kahanistan a single, extremely rare pygmy spotted-bellied marmoset, to be included in the first zoo to be opened accompanied by a massive plaqee six times the size of the marmoset stating "This pygmy spotted-bellied marmoset was donated to the Government of Kahanistan by the Southeast European Society for the Preservation of Rare and Endangered Animals."

These parties requested that they be referred to as "Private donors" on the rap sheet.

As part of our relief package to Kahanistan, we have commissioned General Resources Conglomerate to modify the R-3 Airdroppable Propaganda Sackpack.

We introduce the R-4 Airdroppable Essential Sackpack.

The R-4 Airdroppable Essential Sackpack contains everything you need to help survive in a wartorn environment. You can request differing amounts of Halal, Kosher, Vegan variaties

Besides the transparent polymer Sackpack with nylon straps it contains.
7x Mark 4 Canned Rations
-3 slices of vacuum sealed bread
-1 Breakfast Can (Rice Porridge, Oatmeal, Minipancakes in syrup)
-1 Lunch Meat Can (Spam/Beef/Turkey/Chicken/Tofu/Seafood/Beans/False Meat morsels in gravy)
-1 Vegetable Can (Mixed vegetables)
-1 Starch Supplement (Mashed Potatoes, Rice Variaties, Sliced Baby Potatoes)
-1 Dinner Chunky Soup (Beef Stew, Chowders, etc.)
1x Glock 17 9mm Pistol
1x Water Filtration Straw
1x Deflated Football (Soccer)
1x Pack of Cards
1x Change of Clothes
-1 T Shirt
-1 Shirt
-1 Boxers
-1 Socks
-1 Pants
-1 Pair of flipflops
-1 Rainproof Poncho (wrapped in)
1x Sewing Kit
1x Mark 2D Field Kitchen Kit
-1 Stainless Steel Spork
-1 Knife
-1 Stainless Steel Cooking Pot/Cup/w lid
-1 Lighter

(MSRP $300)

We wish to donate 500 million of them to Kahanistan in increments over a period of 10 years.

Response from Richard Rabbit, CEO CBBC

My son has always wanted a pet marmoset. I will be buying this marmoset for a million dollars.

Mr. L Jones {see profile} of Asymptotic Consequiance, Vojvodina-Nihon {Google Earth this location!}, has submitted the following comment:
What about pot lids? I've long since learned, on numerous backpacking trips, that if you forget your pot lid you're screwed! For that matter, what happened to the water filtration system? Do you want them to all die of thirst?!
Reply | Flag | Report

Response from Richard Rabbit, CEO CBBC

My son has always wanted a pet marmoset. I will be buying this marmoset for a million dollars.

The Southeast European Society for the Preservation of Rare and Endangered Animals will throw in the plaque for free.

Mr. L Jones {see profile} of Asymptotic Consequiance, Vojvodina-Nihon {Google Earth this location!}, has submitted the following comment:
What about pot lids? I've long since learned, on numerous backpacking trips, that if you forget your pot lid you're screwed! For that matter, what happened to the water filtration system? Do you want them to all die of thirst?!
Reply | Flag | Report

OOC: The pot lid is on a hinge attached to the cup, I've clarified that, the water filter I forgot as an oversight.

IC:

4th Kahanistani Relief Mission

The first 10 million R-4s were being loaded onto the massive ships. Security forces and oversight officers would accompany the labor.

While 500 million had been purchased, the first 10 million would be distributed under controlled conditions. Some areas would be controls, getting no aid, others would be monitored by oversight officers, others allowed to give themselves oversight. They would see the retention rate of the R-4s. If too many of them ended up on the black market, a fee would be charged per bag, then the whole experiment would start up again.

OOC: Kahanistan, onto MSN.

IC:

THe Allanean Department of Defense, in a drive to cut its numbers and reduce budget shortfalls, wishes to donate the following weaponry to the Kahanistani:

80 Type 1000 strategic bombers
16,000 SAH-27A Next Generation attack helicopters
21,000 Boneharvester helicopters

This cuts the amount of helicopters in service with the Air Force by a third, and cuts our annual maintenance expenditures.

OFFICIAL IMPERIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

For years, for long centuries, the Imperium has seen itself as kin to the Doomani. It is not surprising that we saw a kindred spirit in them; we know the hatred that drives them, and we know the intoxication of victory after victory. Now, however, we know their vile idolatry, their deceitful tongues...we are committed to eliminating their sinful race from this earth. To this end, we must show support for those who have fallen in the fight against the demon.

I have commanded that a monument be erected in Korronis: the Tomb of the Kahanistani Martyr. This is the first monument to honor a foreign people with whom the Imperium has never been friendly; however, this is a time for unity, not selfishness. The Tomb will depict a Kahanistani soldier, weary from long battle, looking towards the continent of Doomanum. Furthermore, I have ordered the appropriation of four billion USD for humanitarian relief, in addition to the money we will spend on any refugees arriving on Kregaian shores. May the Kahanistani serve as an example of the cruelty of the Doomani, the bravery of the free world, and the necessity of resistance.

Death to Maximus.

Signed,
His Divine Majesty, Sacred Emperor Ishamael II

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
Kregania: 4 billion
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars
Leafanistan 150 billion dollars in goods
Others: Around 1 million dollars in marketable goods.

Funds per refugee: $5,899

The Autonomous Communes of Soheran declare their support for this humanitarian mission.

In solidarity with the suffering people of Kahanistan, we have decided to contribute $100 billion dollars in aid to the project.

The Democratic Empire has sent the cry throughout the lands we hold, and have gotten the following response from the newly formed Kahanistani Aid Organization: 15 Million USDs, 5 Tons of Bread, and 1 Ton of Water. In addition, the Empress has made a withdrawl from the Vault of Random Things: 3 Lbs. of Anticheese, 5 Half Eaten Sandwiches, 1 Ton of Lint, 1 Baby Grand Piano, and 7 Grains of Rice. We are sure that the 1 ton of lint could be added to someone else's collection of lint and be used as publicity event to break some record or another, bringing more donations to the cause. May Jupiter smile on these unfortunate souls, and save them for Mars's War Dogs.

~Official Imperial Democracy Message~

The Imperial Democracy wishes to donate 500 billion NSDs (NationStates Dollars) to The Kahanistani Government along with these assorted weapons and items-

100,000 Assorted muffins
4 million M-16 Assault rifles
2 million RPG-7s
500,000 Party hats (Red)
10,000 M7-A1 MBTs
4 million Assorted Candies
8 trillion pieces of paper

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
Kregania: 4 billion
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars
Leafanistan 150 billion dollars in goods
Soheran: 100 billion dollars
Cazelia: 500 billion dollars
Others: Around 1 million dollars in marketable goods.

Funds per refugee: $7,233

The Democratic Empire has sent the cry throughout the lands we hold, and have gotten the following response from the newly formed Kahanistani Aid Organization: 15 Million USDs, 5 Tons of Bread, and 1 Ton of Water. In addition, the Empress has made a withdrawl from the Vault of Random Things: 3 Lbs. of Anticheese, 5 Half Eaten Sandwiches, 1 Ton of Lint, 1 Baby Grand Piano, and 7 Grains of Rice. We are sure that the 1 ton of lint could be added to someone else's collection of lint and be used as publicity event to break some record or another, bringing more donations to the cause. May Jupiter smile on these unfortunate souls, and save them for Mars's War Dogs.

I'd prefer to be included on the report/update/whatever you know.

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Vetaka: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
Kregania: 4 billion
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars
Leafanistan 150 billion dollars in goods
Soheran: 100 billion dollars
Cazelia: 500 billion dollars
Others: Around 1 million dollars in marketable goods.

Funds per refugee: $8,344, and approx. $2000 per year after that until the country rebuilds itself.

Official Free Dominion of Vetaka Diplomatic Message:

To: Kevin Nivensky, CEO, Allanean Arms Corporation
From: Daniel Pearce, President of the Free Dominion of Vetaka

Subject: Details of Vetakan Donation

Greetings My Friend,

As previously stated to the Kahanistan Government the Vetakan Dominion like our UFAN Allies is committed to aiding and defending the people of Kahanistan. We are committed to defending the true, the right and the free. Together we are stronger as such the Vetakan Dominion pledges a total of 500 Billion USD with immediate affect and commits 500 Billion USD annually.

Yours

Daniel Pearce

President of the Free Dominion of Vetaka
Supreme Commanding Admiral in Chief of the Vetakan Defence Forces

OOC: Allanea: You could use 'The Warmaster' or 'Warmaster' if you'd like, but if you're going to go with the IC nation name, it's 'Kregaia'.

Official Message From Aurum Domus High Command

In addition to the moeny already alloted to Kahanistan from the UFAN Disaster Relief Fund we are donating 500 Billion USD. We are also willing to donate building supplies and workers once your rebuilding begins.

SIC:

The High General really didn't give a shit about the Kahanistanis but after the fiasco with Doomingsland he had to fidn a way to get back in the UFANs good graces. This also doubled as a slap in the face to Doomingsland.

We thank the High Command for this effort.

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Vetaka: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
Kregaia: 4 billion
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars
Leafanistan 150 billion dollars in goods
Soheran: 100 billion dollars
Cazelia: 500 billion dollars
Aurum Domus: 0.5 billion dollars
Others: Around 1 million dollars in marketable goods.

Funds per refugee: $8,345, and approx. $2000 per year after that until the country rebuilds itself.

Official Prestonian Communique
To: Kevin Nivensky, CEO, Allanean Arms Corporation
From: Justin M. Gannon, President of the Federal Havenic Republic of Prestonia

We stand with our allies in their aid to Kahanistan. We will be donating $750 Billion USD, as well as MREs to feed twenty million people. Caesar Maximus III may have destroyed the Kahanistani homeland but he will not break the people so long as Prestonia has a say in the matter. May Kahanistan rise like a phoenix from the ashes, and reconquer their lands from the barbaric hordes of the Doomani.

The Organisation of Really Much-Better-Off Merchants and Assorted Guildsmen applauds the generous donations of Anonymous, and adds to the supply already present a piece of atomite (it was not from Kahanistan, but it would work), set in an elaborate gold plaque with silver trimming, with the engraved words "7.10: NEVER FORGET".

We thank the governments of Central Prestonia for their effort, as well as the government of Dalnijrus.

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Vetaka: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
Kregaia: 4 billion
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars
Leafanistan 150 billion dollars in goods
Soheran: 100 billion dollars
Cazelia: 500 billion dollars
Central Prestonia: 750 billion dollars
Aurum Domus: 0.5 billion dollars
Others: Around 1 million dollars in marketable goods.

Funds per refugee: $10,011, and approx. $2000 per year after that until the country rebuilds itself.

OOC: Dal, the attack actually happened in July ICly. The 21st of July I think.

Official Hegemonic Statement:

The Hegemony will be donating a total of 1.4 trillion USD from the Hegemony Humanitarian Aid Fund to be at the disposal of Allenean officials for use in aiding the Kahanistanis in the rebuilding process. May the great nation of Kahanistan rise to be greater than ever before.

-Lord Sumguy

We thank the governments of Lord Sumguy for it’s generous donation,

Money Raised So far:

Allanea: 1,000 billion dollars
Wagdog: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Vetaka: 500 billion dollars per year, and 500 billion dollars immeidately
Kroando: 1.2 billion dollars in various marketable items
Kregaia: 4 billion
UFAN Disaster Fund: 1,000 billion dollars
Leafanistan 150 billion dollars in goods
Soheran: 100 billion dollars
Cazelia: 500 billion dollars
Central Prestonia: 750 billion dollars
Aurum Domus: 0.5 billion dollars
Others: Around 1 million dollars in marketable goods.

Funds per refugee: $13,122, and approx. $2000 per year after that until the country rebuilds itself.

Official Statement of the Imperial Yaforite Aid Foundation

Greetings from the IYAF,

We have had our differences in the past. After all, for a long time, the gates to Allanea have been closed by choice. Similarly, the gates to Kahanistan have been closed by choice. Both of your countries are known for their crimes - those of the Allaneans because of their hatred of others and their love of freedom and those of the Kahanistanis due to their religion and their persecution. We have all seen the footage of Allanean bombs falling upon cities, of Kahanistanis shooting civilians. We do not need to go over Doomani propaganda once more, or at least, not without wincing. There is no need for that now.

As the world knows, the goal of the IYAF is to make this world a better place. We do not do this by simply improving the lot of the rich. To paraphrase A Raisin in the Sun, we do not simply help when it is easiest to help, or even to who it is easiest to help. What good would that accomplish? The hardest to help are often those who can gain the most and it is in this that we try to accomplish our goals. We will put aside the past actions of Allanea and Kahanistan, and, instead, face the future, a future which will, hopefully, be a brighter and better one for the Kahanistani people.

As a result, I would like to let you know that the Imperial Yaforite Aid Foundation will be right behind you. We have experience building a nation from scratch - in The Burnsian Desert, we worked to rebuild the lives of a people who had been shattered by war. Through the tireless work of our volunteers and the unfailing opportunism of the Burnsian people, they managed to land on their feet. We hope to the do the same in Kahanistan, especially if the people of Kahanistan show the same resilience and willingness to survive, no matter the odds.

The Imperial Yaforite Aid Foundation, known throughout the world for our work with others, stands beside you.

~Signed~
Rudiv Sodo
Former Elected Duke and Head of the IYAF

[OOC: Sorry about the quality of the post, I really didn't feel like doing much more.]

The People's Republic of The Ryou Black Islands will give $500,000,000,000 to help rebuild Kahanistan

Emirate News Network

DRAGON'S LANCE, Tersanctus (ENN) - The Emirate Humanitarian Organization (EHO) announced a proposal to begin operations in Kahanistan to rebuild the nation. The proposal included donations and distribution of food, water, and other items necessary to the survival of the population of Kahanistan. Also included are plans to contract a number of Emirate corporations to help rebuild the devastated nation.

The operation was approved by the Drakonian Government, who is the current organizer of the EHO and their primary contributor. When asked to comment the Drakonia Government said that they approved of the reconstruction and that the operation was suggested by a foreign government. Government officials also said that the Imperium has no relations with the nations involved and is simply hoping to save lives and help the civilians of Kahanistan recover from their troubles.

Currently, the EHO has two other major operations that are on-going. One, in the nation of Fyreheart, which was torn apart by a rebellion against the illegal dictatorial government, and another in the former nation of Al Anbar, where the corrupt government was removed following treaty violation and an invasion by the Drakonia and Tersanctus. Both operations are expected to be completed in the next year.

The proposal outlines the shipment of several hundred tons of goods, including primarily food stuffs like grain. Materials would be gathered at ports in Drakonia, Baradossia, and Tersanctus, and then shipped to the Middle East. Items like blankets, water purifiers, and temporary shelters would be included among the first shipments.

EHO Officials reported that they would be able to quickly begin operations in Kahanistan by shifting manpower from nearby Al Anbar (Iraq and Syria). The proposal outlines the beginning of operations in the next few weeks as anthropologists would arrive in country to begin appraising cultural considerations that might affect the development and aid. The first shipments of aid would arrive in a month.

When asked whether contractors would be part of the operation or whether the EHO would be accepting grant proposals for development, ENN reporters were told that the plans for operations in Kahanistan had not been finalized, but that it was likely that fifty million in Drakonian Doubloons would be set aside as necessary.

Unlike many international development organizations the EHO conducts much of it international aid and international development direct, using contractors and grants only on a limited basis. As such it has a large number of permanent employees allowing it to quickly shift resources into place and begin humanitarian operations. At the fore front of humanitarian organizations among the nations of the United Emirates, the EHO benefits from support from many of the nations it represents. Being an international organization, its employees are well aware of the complex cultural issues that are often overlooked in international development and well schooled in diplomacy and anthropology.

Operations in Kahanistan are expected to save thousands of lives and rebuild the nation to again be a productive member of the international community.

This report is copyrighted (©2007) by the Emirate News Network. All rights reserved.

Ministry of State

The Vetalian government is committed to aiding our friends in Kahanistan rebuild themselves after their struggle and will provide them the technical assistance they need to restore their nation to economic functionality. Our workers' expertise in business and finance will enable your country to better rebuild its financial system and generate the capital needed to fund further reconstruction of infrastructure and industry.

To this end, we announce the following aid contributions to our allies:

-500 billion rubles (approx. $930 billion) at Vetalian banks for the purpose of building up foreign exchange. Our ruble is a very hard currency and will provide strong support for their economy in its recovery phase. This money will not be immediately available for use by the country's citizens, as that would do nothing but stoke unnecessary inflation.

-50,000 engineers of various specifications recruited for service by the Ministry of Economic Development.

-10,000 experienced managers, economists, analysts and accountants for rebuilding their tax collection systems and to rebuild business education in the country's educational system.

Other personnel can be provided as needed, but we feel that the Kahanistani workforce will recover quickly and we will not need to provide these volunteers' services for very long.

OOC: K'stan should post here. ALso, bumped.

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i206/Kahanistan/newland.jpg
In the island far out to sea where most of the survivors had been relocated, the massive inflow of cash aid had been used to import building materials, and settlements were now being constructed. The one that would become the capital was a thousand metres above the land in the high cliffs in the centre of the island. The other main settlements were going onto the beach to the south, the marshlands of the southeast, and the deserts and grasslands of the southwest.

The building that would become the new Presidential Palace, at least in the interim, was at this point a framework for a three-story house sufficient to house the President, a few office workers, and a security detachment.

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o205/Franarama/SealofFranberryLOL.gif
Official Diplomatic Communique of the Federal Sultanate Duchydom of Franberry

His Excellency, the President of Franberry, would like donate a suggestion to the Kahanistani Government to aid their cause in rebuilding their country.

"I suggest the Kahanistani people to get off their rotund posteriors like poor people do and go get a job, instead of pandering for money to the international community."

ooc: erm, Kahanistan, no offence but your map looks quite strange at the moment, especially with those rivers running in extremely strange ways. Also jpg is bad for quality.