Allanea
24-09-2007, 18:57
ANN News Report
Good day.
As Friedrich Goldwasser has announced he will not be running for yet another term, the different Allanean political parties have been deliberating over the last few months as to the choice of the person to lead their parties into the next election. As of today, the last of them – the New World Order party – had completed their primary process, and now the list of political candidates has been made available by the Federal Elections Commission for all Freemen to see. The list is as follows:
The Republican candidate is Mr. Desmond Keyes, known mostly for his calls to “continue in President Goldwasser’s frank, honest, forceful brand of foreign policy”, “complete the Johnson Program”, and “complete the Ten Thousand Ship Navy on schedule.” In essence, this candidate promises to continue as Goldwasser did. Given Goldwasser’s 45% job approval rating, this seems like a sensible electoral strategy.
The Libertarian candidate, Senator Antalia Reynes [L-Montana], campaigns on the abolition of the Department of Education. “The Department of Education is a senseless, useless violation of our Constitution, with the exception – perhaps – of training the Boy Scouts, which is the proper duty of the military anyhow.” – says Reynes – “When I’m President, I’ll eliminate the Department of Education, and use the resulting funding surplus to cut taxes and increase the national defense.”
The Constitutionalist, one Reverend Edward Angstrom, focuses on his strong pro-life platform. “It is true that we need a strong navy, and I will of course complete the Ten Thousand Ship Navy on time.” – notes Angstrom – “But it is important to remember that the duty of all government is to protect the life, liberty, and property of all Freemen. I will work to establish a Constitutional amendment to ensure that the Constitution recognizes that life begins at conception. This is a key step if we are to do our duty unto God and our fellow man and to protect the life of all Allaneans.
The Democrat, Congressman Harvey Lee Jones [15 million endorsements], opposes any cuts in the Department of Education. “While of course the Navy is important – and I would never, ever go as far as suggest a cutting in the budget of our military – we must remember the importance of raising Allanea’s children and maintaining our roads. Further, I am dedicated to the separation of Church and State and increasing funding to the implementation of the Johnson Program.”
The Anarchist, Lysander Suprynowicz, opposes the Ten Thousand Ship Navy program. “The only purpose of such a navy is to invade foreign countries, to commit crimes against humanity and further acts of imperialism. While all government is unnecessary and evil, to use money looted at gunpoint from some taxpayers to provide for the murder and conquest of others is particularly vile,” –said Suprynowicz at the meeting of Allanean Mothers for Peace.
The New World Order – a breakaway wing of the Anarchists – makes its focus on repeal of Allanea’s copyright laws. “Copyright is a fiction” – said the NWO Presidential candidate, Frederick Dalton Chomsky – “It is nothing more then a subsidy for the megacorporations and the RIAA, their enforcement arm.”
The Communist, Socialist, and Ambivalentira parties have banded together to run a candidate, Comrade John Smith [S-Hash]. His campaign platform includes, among other things, the institution of a progressive income tax with a top rate of 7%, the institution of mandatory health insurance, as well a ban on the use of Private Military Contractors by the military and on the operation of nuclear explosives by corporations.
Billionaire Jacob Pentegrue is running on his own, having spent 120 million dollars to achieve ballot status in all states. His main campaign issue is “disengaging Allanea from Menelmacar and ending corruption in the nation’s capital.”
Other candidates exist. The above is only a list of those candidates on the ballot in all states.
Good day.
As Friedrich Goldwasser has announced he will not be running for yet another term, the different Allanean political parties have been deliberating over the last few months as to the choice of the person to lead their parties into the next election. As of today, the last of them – the New World Order party – had completed their primary process, and now the list of political candidates has been made available by the Federal Elections Commission for all Freemen to see. The list is as follows:
The Republican candidate is Mr. Desmond Keyes, known mostly for his calls to “continue in President Goldwasser’s frank, honest, forceful brand of foreign policy”, “complete the Johnson Program”, and “complete the Ten Thousand Ship Navy on schedule.” In essence, this candidate promises to continue as Goldwasser did. Given Goldwasser’s 45% job approval rating, this seems like a sensible electoral strategy.
The Libertarian candidate, Senator Antalia Reynes [L-Montana], campaigns on the abolition of the Department of Education. “The Department of Education is a senseless, useless violation of our Constitution, with the exception – perhaps – of training the Boy Scouts, which is the proper duty of the military anyhow.” – says Reynes – “When I’m President, I’ll eliminate the Department of Education, and use the resulting funding surplus to cut taxes and increase the national defense.”
The Constitutionalist, one Reverend Edward Angstrom, focuses on his strong pro-life platform. “It is true that we need a strong navy, and I will of course complete the Ten Thousand Ship Navy on time.” – notes Angstrom – “But it is important to remember that the duty of all government is to protect the life, liberty, and property of all Freemen. I will work to establish a Constitutional amendment to ensure that the Constitution recognizes that life begins at conception. This is a key step if we are to do our duty unto God and our fellow man and to protect the life of all Allaneans.
The Democrat, Congressman Harvey Lee Jones [15 million endorsements], opposes any cuts in the Department of Education. “While of course the Navy is important – and I would never, ever go as far as suggest a cutting in the budget of our military – we must remember the importance of raising Allanea’s children and maintaining our roads. Further, I am dedicated to the separation of Church and State and increasing funding to the implementation of the Johnson Program.”
The Anarchist, Lysander Suprynowicz, opposes the Ten Thousand Ship Navy program. “The only purpose of such a navy is to invade foreign countries, to commit crimes against humanity and further acts of imperialism. While all government is unnecessary and evil, to use money looted at gunpoint from some taxpayers to provide for the murder and conquest of others is particularly vile,” –said Suprynowicz at the meeting of Allanean Mothers for Peace.
The New World Order – a breakaway wing of the Anarchists – makes its focus on repeal of Allanea’s copyright laws. “Copyright is a fiction” – said the NWO Presidential candidate, Frederick Dalton Chomsky – “It is nothing more then a subsidy for the megacorporations and the RIAA, their enforcement arm.”
The Communist, Socialist, and Ambivalentira parties have banded together to run a candidate, Comrade John Smith [S-Hash]. His campaign platform includes, among other things, the institution of a progressive income tax with a top rate of 7%, the institution of mandatory health insurance, as well a ban on the use of Private Military Contractors by the military and on the operation of nuclear explosives by corporations.
Billionaire Jacob Pentegrue is running on his own, having spent 120 million dollars to achieve ballot status in all states. His main campaign issue is “disengaging Allanea from Menelmacar and ending corruption in the nation’s capital.”
Other candidates exist. The above is only a list of those candidates on the ballot in all states.