Zwangzug
03-09-2007, 00:30
"...a chance of storms by the end of the week."
"Thanks, Jerry. But despite the heat, our calendar still says that autumn is coming quickly, and that means that school is on the way. Bringing us a survey of education nationwide, here's Caroline Dayton at Picardy County Technical Institute."
Cut to footage of a woman in a crowded campus.
"In a pattern seen nationwide, enrollment is higher than ever. The government has invested a lot of attention into the educational system recently, including offering postsecondary education to any high school graduate. But there are no guarantees of which college students can attend, and that has provoked controversy in the case of one of the entering students here at PCTI. Known to the public as "Jillian Dingbat", the young woman applied to the elite Bryce College in Merano last winter. The small and selective school did not admit her, or thousands of other applicants-but Ms. Dingbat's case was different. An ethnic Bigtopian, she was able to portray her rejection as a case of ethnic discrimination, winning the sympathy of many. The law mandating free university education is rumored to have been passed in response, but colleges can still pick and choose their students, with less prestigious entities serving as a "backup" option. Such is the case for Dingbat, who has faded into anonymity, and has expressed a wish to blend in here as just another Fighting Muskrat."
Cut to footage of Dayton somewhere else entirely, accompanied by an adolescent boy.
"Ethnic controversy is, of course, nothing new. So it might seem reasonable to try and prevent blatant racism by educating children to respect other cultures and advocate nonviolence. Not so fast. This is Verdana Middle School, in Bassabook, where an unlikely hero will return in a couple days. Meet Nikita Copeland, budding revolutionary. Nikita, can you summarize your claim to fame?"
Nonchalantly, he addresses the camera. "Well, last year everything was going fine, but then we started having to shorten our classes and instead get these boring lectures on stupid stuff, like how we should all be nice."
"And you missed your classes?"
"Yeah. We actually learn interesting stuff. But that was all goody-goody junk about character."
"So what did you do?"
"Well, I mentioned to a couple of guys that it sucked, and they agreed with me, so kinda jokingly, I said we should just skip it. So we went down to the library instead. The teachers got all mad and lectured us, but we didn't pay attention and went to the library the next day too. But there were like more kids there. And pretty soon we'd turned the idea into a total joke, so they just gave up on it."
"So passive resistance-ironically enough, an improvement on the violent impulses the establishment was trying to eradicate!"
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
"Okay."
"But all this at a young age! What lies ahead for you?"
"Uh, I'm going to eighth grade...Yeah. When I turned thirteen last March I didn't feel any different, but it's going to feel weird being the big kid around all those sevies."
"Sevies?"
"Seventh graders."
"Ah. Well, Nikita the Sevie, defier of authority, is likely to be a legend around Verdana Middle School for years to come."
Cut to footage of Dayton in some empty bleachers.
"While most students have a couple glorious days of summer yet, some have been hard at work already. Here, like in thousands of high schools nationwide, a dedicated group of students trains for what they'll be called upon to do in the upcoming fall."
The camera rotates down to a field: several dozen boys and a couple girls are listening attentively to the instruction of a middle-aged man. "...gonna try that one again. Don't be afraid to kick this time."
"This brutish activity involves plowing into each other at odd intervals measured by a clock that starts and stops while counting down. Nevertheless, it greatly excites its practicioners, and a cult of competivity has emerged around it. For now, however, it is restricted to being a diversion between marching band performances."
Cut to footage of Dayton outside a miniscule airport.
"A new foreign language requirement has had teachers prepare curricula for such languages as French and Moderian. But a dozen students will be in for a much greater challenge. They're leaving to study in San Adriano, a microstate located in the Uhuhland continent. It contains astonishing linguistic diversity for its tiny size, with the vast majority of the population fluent in the Wymgani language, and another overwhelming majority fluent in Italian. Nearly half speak Dutch, and a sizable proportion are fluent in others besides English and the aforementioned. The high-schoolers spending a year here are fortunate indeed."
Cut to Zwangzug University.
"With all this and much more behind or in store for students and teachers, it promises to be another eventful year as the nation goes back to school. "Froggug sederty bungo-bungo", as they say in Ancient Maxtopian: "Forever to teach and learn"."
Dayton is accosted by a mad-looking professor who lectures her sternly on where to put the accent.
"Thanks, Jerry. But despite the heat, our calendar still says that autumn is coming quickly, and that means that school is on the way. Bringing us a survey of education nationwide, here's Caroline Dayton at Picardy County Technical Institute."
Cut to footage of a woman in a crowded campus.
"In a pattern seen nationwide, enrollment is higher than ever. The government has invested a lot of attention into the educational system recently, including offering postsecondary education to any high school graduate. But there are no guarantees of which college students can attend, and that has provoked controversy in the case of one of the entering students here at PCTI. Known to the public as "Jillian Dingbat", the young woman applied to the elite Bryce College in Merano last winter. The small and selective school did not admit her, or thousands of other applicants-but Ms. Dingbat's case was different. An ethnic Bigtopian, she was able to portray her rejection as a case of ethnic discrimination, winning the sympathy of many. The law mandating free university education is rumored to have been passed in response, but colleges can still pick and choose their students, with less prestigious entities serving as a "backup" option. Such is the case for Dingbat, who has faded into anonymity, and has expressed a wish to blend in here as just another Fighting Muskrat."
Cut to footage of Dayton somewhere else entirely, accompanied by an adolescent boy.
"Ethnic controversy is, of course, nothing new. So it might seem reasonable to try and prevent blatant racism by educating children to respect other cultures and advocate nonviolence. Not so fast. This is Verdana Middle School, in Bassabook, where an unlikely hero will return in a couple days. Meet Nikita Copeland, budding revolutionary. Nikita, can you summarize your claim to fame?"
Nonchalantly, he addresses the camera. "Well, last year everything was going fine, but then we started having to shorten our classes and instead get these boring lectures on stupid stuff, like how we should all be nice."
"And you missed your classes?"
"Yeah. We actually learn interesting stuff. But that was all goody-goody junk about character."
"So what did you do?"
"Well, I mentioned to a couple of guys that it sucked, and they agreed with me, so kinda jokingly, I said we should just skip it. So we went down to the library instead. The teachers got all mad and lectured us, but we didn't pay attention and went to the library the next day too. But there were like more kids there. And pretty soon we'd turned the idea into a total joke, so they just gave up on it."
"So passive resistance-ironically enough, an improvement on the violent impulses the establishment was trying to eradicate!"
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
"Okay."
"But all this at a young age! What lies ahead for you?"
"Uh, I'm going to eighth grade...Yeah. When I turned thirteen last March I didn't feel any different, but it's going to feel weird being the big kid around all those sevies."
"Sevies?"
"Seventh graders."
"Ah. Well, Nikita the Sevie, defier of authority, is likely to be a legend around Verdana Middle School for years to come."
Cut to footage of Dayton in some empty bleachers.
"While most students have a couple glorious days of summer yet, some have been hard at work already. Here, like in thousands of high schools nationwide, a dedicated group of students trains for what they'll be called upon to do in the upcoming fall."
The camera rotates down to a field: several dozen boys and a couple girls are listening attentively to the instruction of a middle-aged man. "...gonna try that one again. Don't be afraid to kick this time."
"This brutish activity involves plowing into each other at odd intervals measured by a clock that starts and stops while counting down. Nevertheless, it greatly excites its practicioners, and a cult of competivity has emerged around it. For now, however, it is restricted to being a diversion between marching band performances."
Cut to footage of Dayton outside a miniscule airport.
"A new foreign language requirement has had teachers prepare curricula for such languages as French and Moderian. But a dozen students will be in for a much greater challenge. They're leaving to study in San Adriano, a microstate located in the Uhuhland continent. It contains astonishing linguistic diversity for its tiny size, with the vast majority of the population fluent in the Wymgani language, and another overwhelming majority fluent in Italian. Nearly half speak Dutch, and a sizable proportion are fluent in others besides English and the aforementioned. The high-schoolers spending a year here are fortunate indeed."
Cut to Zwangzug University.
"With all this and much more behind or in store for students and teachers, it promises to be another eventful year as the nation goes back to school. "Froggug sederty bungo-bungo", as they say in Ancient Maxtopian: "Forever to teach and learn"."
Dayton is accosted by a mad-looking professor who lectures her sternly on where to put the accent.