NationStates Jolt Archive

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Environmental Ministry promotes dolphin hunting in BL waters

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0b/Whaling_in_the_Faroe_Islands.jpg/250px-Whaling_in_the_Faroe_Islands.jpg

Whilst dolphin hunting has never been explicitly illegal, for the first time in Londinian history, Environmental Minister Albert Nazarbayev has explicitly condoned the hunting of the marine animal.

"Dolphins are the most prolific consumers of fish within Londinian territorial waters," Mr Nazarbayev stated in a press conference. "And thus pose the greatest risk to fish supplies with Greater British Londinium. It is the opinion and recommendation of the Ministry that measures be taken to curtail the dolphin population as to preserve the food supply for more deserving organisms."

At the same time, the Ministry of Environmental, Food, and Rural Affairs authorized the consumption of dolphin meat, an act which is said to "kill two birds with one stone", as it eliminates a consumer of fish, and expands food supply for Londinians.

Dolphin hunting is slated to come into full swing within the month, though the government has warned that it will only protect hunting that occurs with the waters of British Londinium and her colonies.

Story from LBG NEWS:
http://news.lbg.co.rsp/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/bl_news/2677291.stm

Published:03:53:02 LST

© LBG MMXII

Allanea's "Dolphin, Inc.", Allanea's biggest dolphin harvesting corporation, would like to apply for a license to hunt dolphins in Londinian waters.

Official Communiqué

A licence will be granted forthwith.

General Resources Conglomerate

We'd like to remind all dolphin fishers that due to the violent, antiwhaling stance of certain nations, we are offering 15% off all weapons bought by Whaling Companies currently operating in British Londinian waters.

We'd like to remind them of rumors of Akimonadite Coast Guards finding the entire boat crew of a fishing vessel massacred by Environmentalists.

[END]

OOC: Excellent, excellent. But can you blame us for killing the dolphins? Their meat is so amazingly tender.

OOC: you had to do this right now, when I don't really have time for a war, but screw it, this is pretty much an attack on my citizens, so tommorrow, expect hell.

[ I lol'd! ]

OOC: Can't... Resist.... Being... A... Jerk...

IC:

Open Communication to the British Lodinium Environmental Ministry

The Dictorial Republic of Sumer wishes to purchase a permit for seasonal fishing of dolhpins within Londinium waters.

- Commanding Officer of Trade Department,
Ridingir Fidelos Ashurban

Official Reply to Sumer

The more the merrier! A permit is being issued at this time.

OOC: Delicious! Metaphorically and literally.

IC:

The New Vantanian Colonial Company would like to have a permit to begin the hunting of this menace in British Londinian waters. As part of our contract we will hunt them the most brutally efficient way possible, and sell all of the dolphin meat back to the British Londinians. We hope you accept.

General Foods Inc.
A subsidiary of General Resources Conglomerate

We wish to apply for a fishing (or mammaling?) permit in Londinian waters for dolphin fishing, and to apply for a permit to have our boats accompanied by private security forces, armed with small arms and rocket launchers.

[END]

Somewhere near British Londinium

“Go, go, go!”

From the sides of the Dolphin, Inc. whaling ship, several light motor boats descended. The ships DolphinScan sonars have detected a dolphin school within a few miles from the ship. Now, it was hunting time.

The Allanean motorboats were arranged in a semi-circle, progressing towards the dolphins at high speed, fishermen hooting happily, loud music playing on stereos.

Don't waste your time on me
I got my own direction
Watch me close, wait and see
I'm lookin' for perfection
I make up my own mind
And I'll leave you far behind
When the goin' gets tough
You can kiss my ass

“Go boys, go! Remember, there’s a reward from the company for every one! Git’ em, boys!”

The dolphins were wheeling like a flock of scared sheep. The sounds stunned them, the flash of angry Allanean steel scared them. And the boats were drawing in faster. The animals, in their fear, took the only possible route of escape – towards the Londinian coast.

There, the water too shallow for the dolphins to maneover, only perhaps a meter to half a meter deep.

There, the slaughter began.

The leader of the hunting party drew a large sawed-off shotgun and let a large grey dolphin that was at the head of the ‘pack’ have it with both barrels. The animals head blew up like an overripe watermelon, the water assuming a reddish color.

I see the weenies with the dirty hair
Protestin' on the street
They condemn the clothes we wear
And the morality of what we eat

Some of the dolphins where grabbed with nets, to be sold alive in dolphin parks across the world. Most were not that lucky. The Allaneans fired on the dolphins with fishing spear guns and shotguns, jumped overboard to hack at the animals with axes and machetes, speared them on large barbed spears, dragged them ashore and brutally kicked them to death.

A few hours later it was all over. The dolphins – most of them – were packed into the belly of the armed whaler ship. However, three of them were taken to the cook.

And then, as the ship made its way to port, the captain treated his crew to a delicious dolphin barbecue and wonderful Dersconi beer.

Office of the Praetor of Vetalia

Consul Azzopardi:

The Vice Praetor and I would like to receive licenses to hunt dolphins in your country. It'll give us something to do during the monsoon season, and my chef promises me he can produce the most amazing dishes using dolphin meat. We'll supply our own boats and equipment...we just need the permits. Perhaps I will share the recipe for my family's dolphin remoulade.

Happy hunting,
Proconsul Ivan Melnikov

Diplomatic Dispatch from the Mondothian Ministrys of Commerce and Environmental Conservation
Via: ESL-9887420
Encrypt: Public
Decrypt: ********

Mondoth would Like to acquire permits for the hunting of Dolphins in Londinium Waters. Though we'd prefer to keep our participation under the radar as it were, and are willing to pay extra for discretion in this matter, if perhaps, non-nation specific permits could be issued to an intermediary, we would be most pleased.

Thank You.

Media Release
Xirniumite Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organisation for the Protection of Whales, Dolphins and Porpoises

We are both concerned and disappointed with the Londinian Government’s recent decision to begin large-scale commercial dolphin driving within British Londinium waters. The further authorisation of such hunting by foreign companies based in nations notorious for their environmental vandalism, such as the Allanean state, is yet more cause for concern.

Various international conservation foundations have already observed that the slaughter of dolphins is being carried out with a particularly brutal and feverish inhumanity. Reports indicate that Allanean drive hunters, for instance, operate with especial bloodthirsty sadism, bludgeoning the animals to death or eviscerating them alive. That the Londinian Government has not deigned to place even the most basic limitations or restrictions on the capture and killing methods employed by foreign whaling companies is most disturbing.

Dolphins are exceedingly well known for their high intelligence and gregarious nature. In experiments with mirrors they have demonstrated a level of self-awareness comparable to that of humans and the great apes. That dolphins share many of humankind’s higher thinking abilities is becoming increasingly obvious. The gross violation of widely accepted animal welfare standards by recent drive hunting in British Londinium is a most saddening development indeed.

[Signed]

Claúdine Naúger
Acting Deputy Chairwoman
Whale, Dolphin and Porpoise Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Advisory Committee

OOC: you had to do this right now, when I don't really have time for a war, but screw it, this is pretty much an attack on my citizens, so tommorrow, expect hell.

[So your kinda like Israel ("all jews are citizens or something") and all dolphins in the world have been extended TFEI citizenship or what? Cause if so I could totally write a angry diplomatic message if thats the case. >_>]

Official Imperial Democracy message

The Imperial Democracy finds this as a very harmful blow to the enviroment, which i remind you we are part of. We do not really want to intervene, as our capital city is four conjoined aircraft carriers and most of our territory are oil platforms and several island chains

Sincerally,
Secretary of the Enviroment,
John Derman

To: British Londinium

Olmedreca would like to aquire licence for its fishermen, including Saarmas Corporation and Sinivee Fishing Industries, to participate in Dolphin hunting at Londinian waters.

Olmedrecan Foreign Ministry

The Greal Look Inc. would like aquire licence for Look Inc. Fishermen.

The Department of Whale Population Control is looking to expand, and requests a license for dolphin harvesting.

[So your kinda like Israel ("all jews are citizens or something") and all dolphins in the world have been extended TFEI citizenship or what? Cause if so I could totally write a angry diplomatic message if thats the case. >_>]

ooc: sort of, we do give citizenship to dolphins, however, we allow some dolphin hunting, hey, well we allow some cannibalism of humans, but, this is biocide, and we cannot let it stand.

Secret Facility 9754:

“Welcome, sirs, ma’mas, to Operation: Red Rover.” The man who had not identified himself and no one recognized his face. “We’ve pulled our 19th Covert Submarine Armada from training exercises in international waters, and their currently at or possibly within British Londinium waters, they are, right now tracking over 100 dolphin fishing boats, and they are ready to fire. From what I understand, the Grand Arbiter is to issue a diplomatic statement later today, and if that fails, well, this won’t. The 19th Covert is currently running silent; there is pretty much no chance that they’ll be detected. And if you know anything about Covert Submarine Armadas, then you know that they have no way to link anything back to us directly. This is biocide, and it must be stopped.”

Ice Box:

Grand Arbiter Grant Norse was afraid of his keyboard at the moment. If he pressed a certain combination of keys, it made war, but the thing was, he knew that combination, the thing was, he didn’t know the combination that would make peace. He had to try his best though.

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We, the people of the Confederacy of the Far Echo Islands, do condemn this practice of biocide occurring in British Londinium waters. We believe that this barbaric practice must stop. The Londii complain of dolphins eating fish, but instead of coming to us, and asking for some of our fish exports, as we have vast numbers of wild caught, farmed, and cloned fish to export, they condone the biocide of dolphins. This is a most ridiculous practice must stop immediately. It is terrible, barbaric and a massive step backwards for humanity. Please stop, if not for the dolphins’ sake than for humanity’s.

Give me hope,
Grant Norse,
Grand Arbiter of the Far Echo Islands

Official Reply from Marshal William Kleek’weeek, Allanean Armed Forces

My dear friends in the Far Echo Islands!

First, let me explain to you that I am not a homo sapiens sapiens. I am an Orcinus sapiens, a sapient killer whale. In Allanea, the rights of all sapients are recognized and respected. On the flip side, Allanea does not recognize, and never will, any rights of non-sapients, and has not recognized regular Orcinus orca or Tursiops truncatus as sapient. It does emotionally disturb me to see orcas hunted and eaten – but I realize that it is my duty as an officer in the Armed Forces of Her Majesty the Queen to defend the right of all sapients to hunt them.

For in Allanea, there are no animal rights, there is no middle ground. You are either sapient, like me – and then you have rights – or you are non-sapient, and you have none. As a matter of fact, Allanea respects the rights of all sapients to kill, eat, or use in industry any animals they happen to legally possess or have a legal permission to cull. In essence, animals are property.

Now to the current issue.

Word has reached me you are issuing badly-veiled threats against nations that hunt non-sapient dolphins in British Londinium. This includes Allanea, Sumer, Leafanistan.

The population of the Far Echo Islands is 276 million citizens, according to the UN.

Allanea’s peacetime army alone outnumbers the TFEI armed forces 50-1.

Allanea’s military budget is 193 times bigger then yours.
Sumer’s military budget is 273 times bigger then yours.

You are now in the position of a regular, non-sapient baby seal wandering too close to the waterline. I, of course, am the killer whale. I hotly recommend that you stay away from the water.

Yours sincerely,
Marshal William Kleek’weeek.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/allanea/characters/OrcaSeal.jpg

ooc: I think I might just create a massive marine life "farms"....then I can avoid this whole mess...and make quicker and greater profits than the "traditional" international fishing companies

Bivalviaton Herald [August 30]
Opinion: The Wrong Answer
by Dalton Dyer

Politicians often have to make tough choices on issues. Climate change, for example, has forced some governments to consider steps ranging from the subtle to the draconian, to deal with the problem or pretend it doesn't exist.

The growing issue with declining fish stocks is another problem, and especially for countries with large coastlines and hence a large fishing industry, the solutions are not easy.

The recent announcement by the British Londonium government to support dolphin hunting, for example, was popular only to fishing and hunting groups and to voters concerned about preserving jobs. Environmentalists and dolphin rights groups protested, of course, but their cries fell on deaf ears. Yet, while it certainly gave the impression that British Londonium was "tackling the fish stock problem", it really does nothing of the kind.

Dolphin populations, much like fish populations, tend to swim through the oceans where they will. Their numbers are limited, and their appetites are limited. And fish replenish fast enough that even if the entire global dolphin population went on a feeding frenzy, they would not dent the fish stocks, much less drive fish species to extinction.

The real problem lies in the current approach to fishing, which treats the ocean like a giant strip mine. Industry trawlers routinely scrape up fish and scour parts of the continental shelf clean of life, producing large amounts of waste as "undesirables" are tossed back into the ocean. And the real solution lies in changing the approach to fishing: a large scale ban of trawlers, and a shift towards aquaculture would go a long way towards easing the strain on the world's oceans, preserving an important food supply, and creating jobs.

It's too bad, then, that the current fishing industries are not willing to give up their trawlers. They'll be forced to in the end, when the fish stocks finally collapse and the trawlers dig up nothing but silt. A ban will be inevitable then, and aquaculture will be forced upon nations out of necessity, rather than developed as an insurance against future environmental and economic disaster.

The decision to target dolphins, however, adds another species to the long list of ocean life to be devastated by our outdated fishing methods. And while British Londonium professes that it will only hunt dolphins "within its territorial waters", dolphins will not recognize this difference, as they swim where they will. The end result is that every dolphin will swim through British Londonium waters eventually, and thus become a target for increasingly greedy hunters.

If fish stock preservation was the question, dolphin hunting was the wrong answer.

Dalton Dyer is a respected political analyst; his weekly column is published in newspapers throughout Nova Europa and in selected locations elsewhere in the NS world.

The Empire of The Ryou Black Islands wishes to have a license for dolphin Hunting in your waters.

Minister Nabarzayev,

As always, Pale Rider Arms is interested in expanding into developing markets. With the opening of your national waters to foreign entities for the purpose of dolphin hunting, Pale Rider Arms is interested in acquiring fishing rights in Londinian waters. If this is acceptable, we will begin operations immediately.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms

~~~

* Finds himself wondering how a killer whale (which aren't sapient either, but I digress) found the means to put pen to paper *

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa293/The_Far_Echo_Islands/cfeis2.png

We, the people of the Confederacy of the Far Echo Islands, do condemn this practice of biocide occurring in British Londinium waters. We believe that this barbaric practice must stop. The Londii complain of dolphins eating fish, but instead of coming to us, and asking for some of our fish exports, as we have vast numbers of wild caught, farmed, and cloned fish to export, they condone the biocide of dolphins. This is a most ridiculous practice must stop immediately. It is terrible, barbaric and a massive step backwards for humanity. Please stop, if not for the dolphins’ sake than for humanity’s.

Give me hope,
Grant Norse,
Grand Arbiter of the Far Echo Islands

Any action taken against our allies will be taken as a flagrant breakage of the UC-Akimonad NAP and will result in a police action on our part. We suggest you stand down.

And we asked these dolphins who they belonged to, and they squeaked something that definitely was not "CFEI" or anything else. These aren't your dolphins. Back off.

~Dr. Jules Hodz

Official Londinian Communiqué

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Open Declaration:

The People's Sovereign Republic stands by its authorization of dolphin harvesting, and steadfastly refuses to comply with the wishes of the laughable conglomerate of poverty-ridden islands referred to as the Far Echo Islands. Whilst this government is taking action to implement aquaculture practices, the now-booming dolphin hunting trade will not cease, as they are an increasingly popular commodity in the coastal communities of Argyll and Bsharri.

Furthermore, all applicants for dolphin-hunting licences or permits are approved.

Sincerely,
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z259/pertinax201/azzopardisig.png
The Rt. Hon. James Azzopardi, MP
Consul of British Londinium

Open Declaration of the Dictorial Republic of Sumer

The Dictorial Republic stands firm by it's position of limited dolphin fishing as a food source. And as thus will maintain both limited fishing within our borders of dolphins, limited fishing within international waters, and limited fishing within British Londinium waters as permitted by Londinium law. To fulfill this we currently operate a total of eight vessles rotaring through Londinium waters for the purpose of dolhpin fishing, and we have no need to increase this number. However, we want to make it perfectly clear that attacks on these vessels will be taken as a declaration of war, and that those nations who wish to push their views on food production or life upon us should reconsider before approaching Sumerian ships with an aggressive intent. The Civil Senate is already eyeing this situation with cautious eyes towards the CFEI, and it would not take much to force a vote of war.

- Commanding Officer of Trade Department,
Ridingir Fidelos Ashurban

Word has reached me you are issuing badly-veiled threats against nations that hunt non-sapient dolphins in British Londinium. This includes Allanea, Sumer, Izistan, Leafanistan.

[Uh dude. I'm not hunting dolphins. >_>]

"There's one!" shouted a fisherman, arm outstreched pointing.

A swooshing sound and a flash of grey, as a brutal looking harpoon impaled a dolphin. Instantly the water around the dolphin started turning a bloody red. With a brutal jerk, the dolphin was yanked out of the sea, something that could be identified as a scream coming from it.

"Quick! Tenderize before it dies!"

The men quickly surrounding the bleeding thing, large clubs in their hands as they brutally pomelled the dolphins. The dolphin again shrieked, and the men continued sadistically bashing the dolphin. Finally, the shrieks ceased, and the hunt continued.

Meanwhile, in British Londinian ports, sales of extra soft dolphin meat started.

OOC: I've had enough of this. I'm going to start a seal-hunting thread.

LSS Dolichocephaly
Volar Sea, British Londinium

"A dolphin! Straight ahead!" shouted a hunter standing on the bow of the aging Type 42 destroyer, which, despite its old age, was still fully stocked with its armaments of guided missiles.

"Open fire!" shouted the captain, and a volley of missiles honed in on the lone dolphin, blasting it into tiny, bite-sized pieces.

"Hmm...maybe that was a little excessive," the captain muttered as the dolphin carcass flew hundreds of feet into the air. "But, hey, people need their bite-sized snacks."

General Foods Fishing Fleet

The men had a watch over the SONAR trap they had laid. A pod of dolphins was getting close, mistaking it for another pod. They arrived, and they sprung their trap.

A net launcher was fired, and soon dozens of high speed launches with nets got closer. Men were hooting and hollaring, the massive harpoon launchers on the General Foods fishing fleet's large boats came into action.

"FWOOP"

The sound of a air powered harpoon was deafening at close range, and the industrial diamond coated harpoon went out. It was tethered by a steel cable of 200m length. The entire mechanism was bolted to the ship itself. The harpoon was a particularly efficient design, when impacting flesh, it expanded and released barbs that further helped hook the dolphin.

The first one hit squealed and they started to scatter. But not before the other ships began firing their harpoons, hooking more and more.

The men in the small launches tossed their nets out and watched as they caught more. The dolphins struggled, only ensuring entanglement in the nets. One of the launches they had caught a dolphin close to the surface. It struggled and thrashed, and was carried onto the launch. A man there with a video camera recorded the event.

It laid on the boat, struggling desperately but it was stuck in the net. Two men held its powerful tail down as the commander put his boot down triumphantly upon the mammal. Its blowhole blew and it squealed and the man holding the camera zoomed in on its face.

"Its going to die of not being wet man."

The commander kept his foot on it and said, I doubt it.

He reached down with his immense arms and gripped its head and tried to twist. The men in the back protested but quickly resumed holding it still as he attempted to break its neck. The animal moved, its slick skin ensuring the man couldn't get a grip. The camera filming the entire time.

"It ain't like a deer, you can't get a grip on it."

The man grunted and tried again, this time, he managed to tear its skin and blood poured over him. He then dropped the animal, which squealed as it hit the ground. He brushed the sweat off his brow and reached into his pocket. He removed a Glock, and put it to the dolphin's head.

The cameramen grunted in disgust, "Too much for me man."

As he put the lens cap on his camera, it obscured the screen just before he fired, the camera recording the bang and the final squeal. A single drop of blood smacked into the lens as the cameraman closed the lens cap.

The video was posted to Youtube, as were other videos of the hunt. The cheap SONAR trap was highly effective, and General Foods believed it would rapidly meet its quota.

“Kill it! Kill it with fire!” – laughed the crew as the baby dolphins writhed on the deck of the Mary, still alive.

The sailors laughed merrily – many of them were already slightly drunk on quality Dersconi beer – as one of them approached the baby dolphin and kicked it hard in the head, propelling the still-breathing sea mammal across the deck with a satisfying crunch. Another sailor giggled as he blocked the flight of the still-squeaking, living ‘ball’.

‘Let’s play that game Rejistanis play!’ – one of them mocked.

“Soccer! Yeah!”

And so the last minutes of the baby dolphin’s life were spent acting as a soccer ball for grown-up men.

* * *

“Raise it up here!” – the Captain shouted as the full-grown dolphin was brought up to the deck by a small crane. “Let’s start processing now!”

The dolphin was still breathing as the chainsaw cleanly removed its flippers and workers sorted them away, to be eaten in special gourmet dishes in Liberty-City and British Londinium.

OOC: Wow. And Lol. And WTF?!

OOC: Wow. And Lol. And WTF?!

OOC: A healthy contest, the rules are no Dolphin Rape, BY and TO dolphins, and especially no lesbian dolphin rape.

IC:

The massive harpoons easily penetrated dolphins, and a few of them easily went straight through before their razor sharp tips expanded preventing the dolphin from pulling out, or the crane from pulling through the dolphin.

As the machine reeled it in, it was a female dolphin who was squealing and squeaking with all its might. It shouted repeatedly, its blowhole blowing out water, it was drowning. The harpoon had penetrated the lungs and collapsed them both. A significant amount of seawater had entered along with blood.

As the crane brought the dolphin up, it helplessly smacked against the side of the ship. The winds swung it side from side, digging each barb deeper and deeper. The squeaks were becoming quieter and quieter. Finally the dolphin was raised to deck level, and the men cheered at their first catch.

A bottle was passed around as they all took a swig of hard liquor. They shouted in joy as the dolphin breathed its last few breathes. Its blowhole now spewed a mix of seawater and blood onto the deck, but no one noticed, and if they did, no one would care.

One of them punched the dolphin's body, delivering the final bit of trauma that would kill the creature. That is when its body did one last job to try to save its baby. It gave birth right there and then, and as he turned around, something plopped to the ground. It was tiny, pink, covered in goo, and premature. The men picked it up quietly, then cheered.

"TWO FOR ONE!"

As the baby dolphin opened its eyes to the world, the chef brought down a massive meat cleaver and easily separated the baby from its fins. It tried to squeak, but it was too dried out to make noise.

Then perhaps out of mercy or utility, the chef cut off its head, and threw it in the bait pile. Its first and only glimpse of the world, a dolphin fishing boat.

The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan

We refuse to condemn the hunting of dolphins as long as local regulations are respected. This is a perfectly legal action and poses no harm to the environment.

[END]

sign us up im all for sushie

Official Statement from Tech-Com Corporation
With authorization from the government of the TSRT
"We formally request dolphin-hunting rights in the waters of British Londinium."
End Message

A small group of ships waited around, their eyes looking intently on a large group of dolphins. Before their eyes, a young one strayed from the pack, followed soon by two more. The first was harpooned as it leaped from the sea with glee. The harpoon went straight through it's open mouth, emerging on the other end with a sickening sound, blood dripping from it. Spikes emerged from the harpoon, ripping into even more of it's organs. With a violent jerk the creature was pulled towards the ship. The creature choked, gagged, squirmed, and was dead before it was halfway to the ship.

Another crew harpooned the other two dolphins, the bloody harpoons bringing them back alive. Their they were beaten with more clubs, detracted from their intended purpose of seal-clubbing. One of the men, filled with a sickening hunger, took a knife and cut the dolphin's skin off, starting to feast on it. The others soon joined in, gluttenous hunger overwhelming them as the creature was eaten alive. Blood dripped from their mouths despire their best attempts to slurp it up.

A few more strayed away from the group, and harpoons once again got them. Most of them were killed the standard way, but one was not. It's chest was ripped open while it was still alive, the heart being ripped from it. A makeshift wooden cross that served as an altar was held up, and a Fool's Gold goblet collected blood. The man raised the still beating heart, "In the name of the Father..." blood was dripped into a vague cross on the assembled mens' foreheads, "the Son..." more blood was dripped into the mens' throats, "and the Holy Spirit." the heart was ripped into peices and served like bread. The goblet was then split up amongst the men, now in a religious fervor.

Enough strays had been picked off, the ships dipped sliders into the sea around the dolphin groups. A bottom slider was inserted and the dolphins were gently raised in a sort of pool. There, various sailors poured in barrels of liquids. This would insure a long, extremly long and agonizing death. It would also sweeten the dolphin meat and turn the waters into a sweet tasting liquid. As the dolphins neared death, and the agony mercifully started to diminish, the sailors yanked a large net up, and once the dolphins were taking their last wheezing breaths above the waters, they were electrocuted and fried thoroughly. Then, the sweet tasting liquid, the dolphins' blood, and the dolphins' meat was served as commeration to the first sucessful day of business. Lastly, the surplus meat was sold, and the sea water drink stored for later consumption.

Meanwhile, the pirates waited. As the prisoners were getting hungry, dolphins were crudely hunted, causing unnecessary pain, and fed to the hippies. If they didn't like it, then they wouldn't get much else.

Swashbuckling Piratey Message:
To: Blue Peace, CFEI
From: Captain Piratepimple
You have twelve hours to pay for the captives. Don't worry, we're feeding them the bounty of the seas. Remember, twelve hours, or they'll be subject to Poseidon's wrath.

The dolphins threw themselves out on the beach, writhing, suffering, squealing in pain. Those were the few that had not yet been finished of in the water. Now, the Allaneans started finishing them off.

Captain Anatole Smiley-Jones paced between the bodies of the dead and dying dolphins, a benevolent smile on his face as he heard the men at their work, their machetes hacking at the dolphins’ neck. Behind him walked his son, Fred.

This was Fred’s first hunt, and his sixteenth birthday. Already he had killed two dolphins – one with a harpoon, with a macheted. He was thoroughly enjoying this hunt – it was far better, he thought, then hunting rabbits at home. The rabbits were not mammals his own size, and were completely unchallenging. And there was his favorite music, playing loud from all the loudspeakers on the ships, as if to congratulate him on his birthday.

There arrived at a small clearing on the beach, where a still-living dolphin still twisted and turned, squeaking horribly as it tilted it’s head in its death throes, knocking a worker backwards with a single blow. The man cursed as he fell.

“Step back!” – said the Captain, and a circle was formed around the dolphin. –“Son, this is yours. You need to do this. It’s your sixteenth birthday.”

Someone placed a machete in Fred’s hands.

“Come on, boy. You are a homo sapiens sapiens. A predator. Go do it.”

It was an Allanean tradition, a rite of passage, the slaughter of the first big animal.

Fred approached the dolphin and hit it once on it’s neck. The machete cut deep, and blood sprayed out in a large, pulsating fountain, soaking Fred’s clothing.

“Good, son! Here’s your cup! Bottoms!”

Fred filled a large steel cup with the dolphin’s blood and raised it to his chin. He tasted blood before – that of rabbits – and that would likely not be too bad.

The sailors cheered as the boy gulped down the red, salty liquid, trickles of blood running down his chin.


Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday Dear Freddie,
Happy Birthday To You!

The Department of Cetacea Population Control, as it was now called, had received its permit.

This time, the DCPC took a different approach. Twenty five defensively armed trawlers made for the seas of British Londinium.

One of these was the AMT Dolphin, aptly named for its prey.

The vessel chugged along at around ten knots, a large net trailing it, allowing fish through, but capturing the larger creatures.

As the Dolphin ended its run, the huge net was hoisted up by massive motors.

Caught in the net were numerous fish and three dolphins. It was a good day.

The dolphins were immediately euthanized and placed on ice.

Meanwhile, P-3s ran occasional patrols and there was constant satellite surveillance, in case of any threats.

The Fishing vessel "Wee Hawkin" did not exist, nor did its crew, at least insofar as much as Mondoth was concerned, no ship under that name had been registered there, and no member of its crew had ever set foot there. The men in turn, were similarly ignorant of Mondoth, at best one might be able to point it out on a map, maybe. If drugged or tortured for their secrets, Mondoth would never come up as a topic in their long and very interesting ramble about the many interesting employers they had done many interesting jobs for, only by a long and extensive international investigation could any of them be linked back to Mondothian intelligence officers making a quick buck by investing in local black markets who would kill themselves before revealing whether that business was for profit or duty.

The Crew of the "Wee Hawkin" could best be described as rogue agents, mercenaries that had worked for a variety of intelligence agencies and had retired by disappearing and assuming new identities every few years. Extremely talented nobodies and invisible men.

Their Dolphin fishing permit had a history almost as colorful as their own, acquired as under-the-table as possible and then sold through a long list of people and organization until it had about as much a link to its original owner as its current owners did, that is to say, none.

If you hadn't guessed the "Wee Hawkin", for all its dolphin fishing equipment, permits and generally legitimate, if not exceptionally so, appearance, Was not in British Londinium Waters to hunt dolphins, but instead to make the appearance of hunting dolphins while instead doing more interesting and questionable things.

The Ryous were Dolphin killers unlike any other, They were experts at killing the small whales and they knew how to do it well.

To Hunt a Dolphin, you must think like a Dolphin

and also have orcas around.

Useing tamed Orcas, the Ryous chased The Dolphins to Shallow Water where Ryou Whalers weer waiting on Small Boats, then the Whalers soon relesed the Hounds.....or Seals for that Matter.

The Black Islands Tiger Seal was a killer that waited for their pray (Other Seals, Fish and Dolphins), Attacking in Packs, the seals attacked the dolphins and bit off the fins, then they took the dolphin to the hunters so that they could kill it.

The Hunters also used the large Ryou Saltwater Crocs to kill the Dolphins.

soon only one was left, and that was soon killed as a offering to Umi no Kami, The Ryou Sea goddess.

The Whalers soon left to hunt another pod of dolphins.

Official Statement by the Executive Cabinet of the Federal-Parliamentarian Government of the United Sovereign Nations of Southeast Asia
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a338/Singaporean_Liberal/NationStates%20Pictures/SoutheastAsianCoatofArms.gif

To: All Parties Concenred
From: Aran Niratpattanasai, Acting Minister of Foreign Affairs; Chakra Savat, Minister of Environmental Affairs, United Sovereign Nations of Southeast Asia
Subject: Southeast Asia's stance on the so-called "War on Dolphinkind"

Greetings Esteemed Delegations of the Global Community,

The United Sovereign Nations of Southeast Asia, whilst it respects the sovereign right of the United Kingdom of British Londinium to legalize dolphin hunting, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Ministry of Environmental Affairs cannot help but question the rules the Londinian government has imposed on this matter.

Claúdine Naúger, the Acting Deputy Chairwoman of the Xirniumite Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organization for the Protection of Whales, Dolphins and Porpoises, has accurately pointed out facts about dolphins. For example, dolphins are one of the most intelligent mammals that exist on the face of this planet. More importantly, like Chairwoman Claúdine Naúger, this government is concerned about the lack of laws to even protect some degree of fundamental rights, allowing much liberty to use relentless methods like clubbing, are employed by the more relentless dolphin hunters in Londinian waters.

Here in Southeast Asia, dolphin hunting is banned, but hunters who can provide evidence that they took efforts to mitigate cruelty have a chance of getting a less severe punishment. We strongly implore the Londinian government to at least enact laws to punish excess cruelty of dolphin hunters in their country's waters, be they of Londinian origin or non-Londinian origin.

[Signed]
Yours Sincerely,
His Excellency
Aran Niratpattanasai
Acting Minister of Foreign Affairs, M.P.
United Sovereign Nations of Southeast Asia

[Signed]
Yours Sincerely,
His Excellency,
Chakra Savat
Minister of Environmental Affairs, M.P.
United Sovereign Nations of Southeast Asia

[OOC: Ah, the joys of fluid time. Assume this to be near the Second War of Corporatist Aggression's end, or just after it.]

Official Statement of the Federated Cities and States
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/san_marino--80.jpg


To: British Londinium, and those who are concerned
From: Chair Marshall Baret Nalstem, CEO of Foreign Oceanic Resources Division

The corporate alliance of DaxCorp wishes to request a legal writ allowing for our ships to sail British Londinium waters, and hunt for it's local dolphin population.

We wish to make it clear to the international community that DaxCorp's policy on humane treatement of livestock and game is second to none, and we would be more than happy to allow sociopathic PETA advocates onto our shuttles to oversee the appropiate measures we take.

We also wish to suggest to the CFEI, to mind the dolphins in your own waters, and steer clear of the corporation's property.

Signed.
Chair Marshall Baret Nalstem

Official Response of the Department of State of the United States of Allanea

We would like to point out to our glorious allies the Southeast Asia that, while dolphins are very intelligent animals, and can play nice tricks, they are still animals. While animal rights are a part of policy of Southeast Asia, Allanea here is a free nation. Here, we believe animals have no rights. Only sapient beings have rights. People in Allanea are free to do whatever the hell they want to animals, as long as they own the animal, or the owner allows them to do so.

Allanea does not have any laws to protect ‘animal rights’ – nor does Congress have any authority to enact such laws. Should they be enacted, the President of Allanea would veto them, should he not veto them, they would be thrown out by courts and juries.

While we disagree with the Londinian government on many points, we support its prerogative to manage the resources in its possession as they wish, as long as it does not violate the rights of sapients.

That is all.

May God bless Allanea.

[OOC: We may be technically allied to one another via the New Alliance Treaty Organization, but Boris, please keep in mind that we have yet to establish diplomatic relaions with one another, and my policy on you ICly is one of formal neutrality.]

Servo Broadcasting Network

Poseidon Fishing Incorporated posts record numbers, following the rise in international demand for commercial fishing PFI stocks have jumped more than 500% and are well above all other international fishing companies standings following a somewhat controversial ruling which allowed for the establishment of marine life "farms" within the Imperial Kingdom territorial waters.

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/fishfarm.jpg

CEO of PFI Mark Zruka says this is a win win situation for both people and the environment.

"By allowing the construction of these marine life farms we are able to leave the wild marine life alone and harvest a "domesticated crop", which will not be depleted so long as breeding groups are left intact...and those only need to be changed every few of months. In order to ensure that those animals being harvested are of a good healthy makeup.

Furthermore the use of these farms saves money as we don't have to spend the time actually looking for the fish, and I might add in the near future a much broader spectrum of marine life will be available to harvest as we already have under construction several massive.. in some instances hundreds of kilometers long deep sea farms being constructed to house rarer types of marine life including species of whale and porpoises."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v652/blaesa/Hippocampus.jpg

Why settle for diseased, malnourished, and chemically altered farm raised seafood? It's a fact that farm raised fish are exposed to larger degrees of chemicals like mercury and fertilizers, and their constricted, inhumane confines reduce the quality of any fish raised there as well as promote the spread of disease.

Hippocampus brings you fresh-caught seafood straight from oceans and rivers around the world. No cramped spaces, no chemical supplements, just quality food. Why settle for farm raised fish? Choose Hippocampus. Choose quality.

Hippocampus Fisheries is a wholly owned subsidiary of Pale Rider Arms

ooc: I think I hinted at the fact my fish farms are far larger than real ones...stretching for km's in protected harbors and bays..just so you're aware I made them NS style wanked to almost impossible proportions =P...

ooc: I think I hinted at the fact my fish farms are far larger than real ones...stretching for km's in protected harbors and bays..just so you're aware I made them NS style wanked to almost impossible proportions =P...

OOC: People are selfish, stupid, and completely emotional. If you show them video of a crowded fish farm, then of dolphins playing in the wind, they're feelings would shift toward wild fisheries. Even if your fisheries are better, we'll get the to buy from us, with words like 'Natural', 'Organic', and 'Like Mother Nature intended'.

IC:

Commercial Showed Worldwide

A group of dolphins glide through the water, they squeak, and fish through swarms of fish. Then a can is opened and a dolphin is crammed into it.

"Don't settle for farmed fish crammed into a can. Get all Natural, Freshly caught fish from General Foods."

Londinian Waters

The hunt went extremely well. They actually had shipped an entire floating refinery to process dolphin on site and get them canned and packaged without first freezing. A helicopter would take the canned and packaged food to a General Resources carrier where a modified transport plane would get it to international markets.

In this cutthroat business they had to get to market first. But there was a new threat now, Dolphin Farms might increase in yield fast enough and unless they coordinated.

Message to all Dolphin Fisheries currently in operation

Commercial Dolphin Farms might threaten our dominance over cetacean products worldwide.

Therefore I think we should from the International Dolphin Council to regulate prices, control the supply so we don't each other's throats and let the farmers win, and ensure we keep dominance over the market.

[END]

ooc: I am assuming the last part of your post relates to myself as well..?

Message to all Dolphin Fisheries currently in operation

Commercial Dolphin Farms might threaten our dominance over cetacean products worldwide.

Therefore I think we should from the International Dolphin Council to regulate prices, control the supply so we don't each other's throats and let the farmers win, and ensure we keep dominance over the market.

[END]

The Department of Cetacea Population Control is willing to help spearhead such a council. Though we think it ought to be renamed to the "International Cetacea Fisheries Consortium" or something like that, in order to show that it's not limited to dolphins.

~DCPC

The Department of Cetacea Population Control is willing to help spearhead such a council. Though we think it ought to be renamed to the "International Cetacea Fisheries Consortium" or something like that, in order to show that it's not limited to dolphins.

~DCPC

Response

This makes sense to us. We need to expand ourselves to control the supply, and demand.

[END]

To: British Londinium

Greetings to you on behalf of his Highness, Emperor Sviatov. It has come to our attention that you have initiated vicious hunting on several sea mammals generally considered to be off limits to such activities. While hunting of Dolphins and Whales was long ago made unnecessary and illegal here, and we must express our distaste in your choice, what we find most disturbing is the unnecessary level of cruelty in their pursuit.

It is however your right to do what you will within your national waters, as such our only desire would be to see even some of the more basic regulations put in place, one does not have to torture the animal one is to eat. Beyond that there is little we can say given the extreme distance from the Empire.

Kilrany foreign affairs minister
Pavel Kasatikin

OOC: So where is TFEI and his submarines?

ooc: I'm gona hold off on the firing of torpedoes for the moment, everyone suspects me, so even if the attack couldn't be linked to me, they could put up propaganda to make it look like it was my nation. So I'm gona let this cool off on its own a little. Though my subs are still in place.

ooc: I'm gona hold off on the firing of torpedoes for the moment, everyone suspects me, so even if the attack couldn't be linked to me, they could put up propaganda to make it look like it was my nation. So I'm gona let this cool off on its own a little. Though my subs are still in place.

Fishing Fleet Omega

The tired men of Fishing Fleet Omega were leaving Londinian waters for the long trip back to Wasser. There they'll disembark, collect a healthy paycheck of 17,500 LFP for only 2 weeks of backbreaking labor, and go home to their families before returning to the fishing fleets.

Diligent class cutters accompanied them, their SONAR pods scanning, but they didn't expect to get anything. That is when a faint reading showed up in the far corner of their scopes. It might be nothing, but based on how still and solid it was, even for a faint reading it was suspicious. They phoned it in, on the off chance it was a large whale idling for some reason.

The man picked up his satellite phone and called the Londinian Number they were told to phone in case of danger.

"Hello, this is General Foods Fishing Fleet Omega, escort ship, GRCS Maximilian. We've detected a faint reading at the following transmitted coordinates, we are not going to pursue, may be large pod of whales or possible submerged object. Good hunting. Over and out."

OOC: Leafanistan, it could also be a sunken ship...

OOC: FEI, please respond to your Blue Peace hippies being held captive. A simple affirmitive or negative will do. If you can, something about them being fed dolphins would be nice. They'll either live in exile, or be returned as temporary celebrities. Either way, they'll make it for years without dying.

Message to all Dolphin Fisheries currently in operation

Commercial Dolphin Farms might threaten our dominance over cetacean products worldwide.

Therefore I think we should from the International Dolphin Council to regulate prices, control the supply so we don't each other's throats and let the farmers win, and ensure we keep dominance over the market.

Message From:
Baroks Cannery Corp.

We believe this would be most beneficial...in our case especially we have already lost thousands to farming operations and if the current trend continues we will go out of business

The Cookeslandic Government's Official Stance on International Dolphin Hunting:


Link (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13016563&postcount=3)

Steven Andolor
U.S. Department of State

The BCC requests a license to hunt dolphins in your waters.

Armed Oceans Inc. Outside BL Waters.

"And yet another venture for our company! One step closer to riches beyond imagination!" one of the founders of the company, shall we call him Dumb, addressed his partner.

"I can't see the money yet, partner," the easily duped partner, to standardize things we'll call him Dumber, answered. "And we've still got that whale MK II arming kit to think about!"

"Relax, I have it all planned out. You see the dolphins are going to be good publicity for us. Just imagine how many clients are going to search for us after this."

"I don't know about this one..."

Like always, Dumber lost the argument and soon the ship started preping dolphins for standard customer treatment. Specially designed harnesses were equipped around the "willing" dolphins and in specially designed pockets, bombs placed.

"Now you see, next time someone gets these dolphins they'll get a nasty surprise! The dolphins will be back for more!"

Anagonian News Network morning news report

Today the Executive Government announced that Anagonian Waters will be strictly protected from British Londinium hunting activities.

It has been well known that the Government itself established that all animal life was to be protected to the best potential of human abilities. Anagonia has enjoyed centuries of lush rainforests, abondant wildlife, and an amazing array of species in the waters and oceans off its shore. The Executive Government stated clearly that any and all violations of its territory by ANY hunting persuits not of or with the Republic of Anagonia will be destroyed.

In response to the announcement from British Londinium, Chief Governor Dunan Ruu set forth an initiative to protect the massive territory waters that are under the control of the Republic. The Republic Navy has been disbatched to patrol its waters in hopes of keeping all outside influences from harming the ecosystem Anagonia has so devotly fought to maintain and grow.

Chief Governor Dunan Ruu assures the public that any and all Nations wishing to attempt to slaughter Anagonia's dolphin population will be destroyed, without mercy, and without hope. Of course, afterward, the Chief Governor remarked that at most only said nations ships would be destroyed in a very inhumane fashion.

The Chief Governor did not state the nation or nations of interest in the Republic Navy's deployment.

End

"Sail Ho!" The anachronistic call rang out from the 'fishing' vessel's top deck, alerting all to the presence of a nearby fishing vessel. A few select crew members descended into the cabin to prepare while the rest continued their Dolphin fishing activities. As the day continued, the "Wee Hawkin" ambled casually nearer the spotted vessel, exchanging friendly radio chatter and generally ingratiating itself in the immediate area. Meanwhile, plates under the 'Wee Hawkin's keel slid open on silent rails, revealing a hidden moon-pool where four men in military grade diving gear were already floating. AS soon as the door was open, they slid into the water's darkening with the sunset, using small personal propulusion systems, the team would arrive at the spotted vessel just after the sun finally dropped completely below the horizon, plant explosives on the foreign fishing vessel and then disappear into the night, the only sign of their passing flaming wreckage.

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee194/Glyphick47/Flags/NewKiravianEMpireflag.png

Kiravian Empire



Permissum Astrum Subleuco

Imperial Secriat of State

Natural Rights Protection Office

The Kiravian Empire condemns all nations that authorize the brutal zoocide of these sentient animals. They have done naught unto you, and live in your waters not as your subjects, but as entities in their own right. It is not for the government of any human nation to declare a zoocidal(It's a step up from BL's biocide term used to describe the massacre of the Kal'Har).

We find this attack completely unprovoked, and a stain on the Human stewardship of the Earth. Thus, we will take the philisophical Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and cleanse this stain from the most glorious white bikini that is Morality.

Furthermore, any attempt to harm dolphins, whales, belugæ, porpoises, or any other cetacean person, or person of cetacean ancestry, within the territorial waters and/or Exclusive Economic Zone of Kirav or its colonies, will be seen as an act of war. the UC has also ruled to protect dolphins, so this applies to Pictish and Echo Islander waters as well.

Damn ye who dare slaughter innocents.

Regards,

Sanctus Icebay

Sanctus Icebay
Officer of Natural Rights Protection

The Kiravian Empire condemns all nations that authorize the brutal zoocide of these sentient animals. They have done naught unto you, and live in your waters not as your subjects, but as entities in their own right. It is not for the government of any human nation to declare a zoocidal(It's a step up from BL's biocide term used to describe the massacre of the Kal'Har).

We find this attack completely unprovoked, and a stain on the Human stewardship of the Earth. Thus, we will take the philisophical Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and cleanse this stain from the most glorious white bikini that is Morality.

While we applaud your... colorful... vocabulary, we must respectfully disagree. Dolphins and other cetaceans are merely animals, no more intelligent than a particularly smart dog. Mere socialization or tool-use does not a sophont make. These animals display no culture, no art, no ability to better themselves. Like the octopus and chimpanzee, dolphins are animals and nothing more. Any attempt to classify them as something else is foolish and deserving of nothing but ridicule and scorn.

On this note, Otagia refuses to cease the lawful and appropriate harvesting operations of it's citizens. As the good book states, "Let us make man in our image and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea." Putting mere wildlife on the same level as humanity is degrading, sacrilegious, and foolish to the extreme. With this in mind, we will not disrupt a multi-billion dollar industry with centuries of history behind it, simply to satisfy a few PETA radicals. Fishing operations in Otagian and Londinian waters will continue unimpeded by such baseless concerns.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal
Regent of Otagia

While we applaud your... colorful... vocabulary, we must respectfully disagree. Dolphins and other cetaceans are merely animals, no more intelligent than a particularly smart dog. Mere socialization or tool-use does not a sophont make. These animals display no culture, no art, no ability to better themselves. Like the octopus and chimpanzee, dolphins are animals and nothing more. Any attempt to classify them as something else is foolish and deserving of nothing but ridicule and scorn.

On this note, Otagia refuses to cease the lawful and appropriate harvesting operations of it's citizens. As the good book states, "Let us make man in our image and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea." Putting mere wildlife on the same level as humanity is degrading, sacrilegious, and foolish to the extreme. With this in mind, we will not disrupt a multi-billion dollar industry with centuries of history behind it, simply to satisfy a few PETA radicals. Fishing operations in Otagian and Londinian waters will continue unimpeded by such baseless concerns.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal
Regent of Otagia

We acknowledge your point, yet must state that dolphins live an a radically different enviornment than humans. Oceanic sentince does not present itself in the way terrestrial sentience does. What does it take to be considered on par with humanity? Buildings? Written language? Agriculture? None of these could be managed in a pelagic enviornment. All that we know dolphins to have is social structure, spoken word, albeit not of Human form, and to a slight degree, technology. Our palæolithic ancestors that we call "cavemen" had naught but this, and are they not sentient? Primal humans and dolphins are, in their non-biological elements, the same, living in migratory groups by hunting and gathering. humans have increased and complexified their technology, culture, and society, very rapidly, yet dolphins have not. In this, humanity is far superior. However, mere lack of the elements of one race in a manner that applies to them, does not make another inherantly inferior.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bikini to clean.

Regards,

Sanctus Icebay

Sanctus Icebay
Officer of Natural Rights Protection