NationStates Jolt Archive

ooc: Seeing this wedding has supposedly been going on for several months now and international relations with Randomea have been virtually non-existant the probability that your nation has had any interaction with it is unlikely to say the least. So while it is an open invitation I would beg you to remember that you may not treat the various political figures as your best mates, but affable hosts who will keep your glass filled, the plates full and the beaches enticingly clean.
Remember that Randomea is primarily a tropical island of friendly people employed by the State or living as indigenous tribes. However, prostitution and other such services are unavailable. Crimes such as littering are heavily punished (in the Randomean way). We recommend not trying to find out what this entails.
As long as you stay within tourist areas the creatures of the island will not try to eat or kill you. They are wild and even domesticated dragons have a painful bite. Therefore any accidents are upon your own head.

This public services announcement is brought to you by the leaflet issued by the Randomean Tourist Board, the Ministry of Special Occasions and the Brains-behind-it-all. Thank you. And on with the show.
Note: rsvps are assumed.
______________________________________________________

Her Royal Randomness, the Queen of Randomea,
regally welcomes you to celebrate
the Eigth Month of Prince Halapikno and Princess Tahbazkow's Wedding
and
the Withdrawl of Randomea from the United Nations

R.S.V.P. and everything shall be arranged forthwith.

Her Royal Randomness, the Queen of Randomea,
regally welcomes at the personal behest of the former UN Ambassador

Mr. Neville Chamberlain BL Hons

to the Eigth Month of Prince Halapikno and Princess Tahbazkow's Wedding
and
the Withdrawl of Randomea from the United Nations

as Honourary Executive-Head Bar-Lord and Officiator of Ceremonies

R.S.V.P. and everything shall be arranged forthwith, including adequate compensation for your time and your own personal beachside chalet with double ensuite bedroom, sauna, pool, jacuzzi, services of a massueur and of course personal bar.

Imperial Minsitry of Foreign Affairs

The Head of the Imperial Dark Realms Region, Kaiser Heyrdich wishes to attend this ceremony.

To: Whomever it may concern
From: Council of Foreign Affairs, Vuhifellian Federation
Subject: Wedding

We humbly ask for our permission to send an envoy to your nation to establish relations between our two nations and to congradulate the royalty on their wedding. We shall be sending the fourth and fifth seats of the Council of Foreign Affairs: Councillor Norman Garcia and Councillor Werner von Vogel as a delegation.

ooc: Perhaps I need to reiterate: rsvps are assumed. Just arrive and enjoy the party.

Oh and for the unaware...
Sampling Culture Smart! RANDOMEA - customs & ettiquette
Royal Weddings
A royal wedding is of course an infrequent affair, especially when it relates to the main line. A wedding extends over a long period of time, directly proportional to the importance of the royal, so a minor duke's wedding will last perhaps three months while a crown prince or princess's over a whole year.
During this period the couple will undergo several Randomean ceremonies during the first month but the main feature will be visiting various parts of the island, meeting people and throwing parties for everyone. In fact, it soon turns into one huge party of feasting, dancing, drinking, swimming, fireworks and other joyful activities. People can come and go as they please as long as they greet the happy couple and say goodbye when they leave with the traditional motto "may you be joyful together, the trees grow tall, the birds sing freely and the time til we next meet grow shorter!"

Being a nation based on socialist values, the USSC was not entirely thrilled at the prospect of nobility or royal families, let alone the continuance of such a form of government. Still, nations had a right to self-determination, and the revolution would come to all eventually. In the meantime, such an event allowed for the ability to rub shoulders with other diplomatic officials from foreign countries in the light of Cynapsia's recent opening to diplomatic relations. So, the President-Kommissariat assigned a envoy to attend.

---

Formal Diplomatic Response

The United Socialist States of Cynapsia thanks the nation of Randomea for their invitation, and will send Dr. Jack Kavanagh, Special Envoy to the Kommissariat of Foreign Affairs, to attend the ceremony.

Kommissariat for Foreign Affairs.

[OOC: My bad]

As the 747-400 touched down on the airport runway, the two councillors sat in their chairs bickering at one another. Both wore long, yellow robes, a standard feature for any lesser councillor to have when they were travelling overseas.

"I still don't see why you had to come, establishing relations is my job, your job is improving them," said Norman.

The two of them were from opposing political parties, and it was rumored at one point in their careers, Werner had secretly had an affair with Norman ex-girlfriend. Of course, rumors were rumors...

"Just shut up. It's not like you wouldn't be complaining for some company if you went alone. After all, a tropical vacation is great, just so long as you have someone to enjoy it with."

"You know what? I hate you. I really, really hate you."

The plane began to slow down on the tarmac, an aide began to undo their seatbelts for them, so as not to crease their robes.

"Let's just get this over with. Smile and wave, and act like you give a damn," said Norman.

"That's because I do give a damn, Norman. Our job is very important and this is a very special day for these people. You just smile and wave at the media, let me handle the politicians."

The aircraft came to a complete stop, and a few flight attendents opened the port side door in the front of the aircraft, the captain of the airplane bowed to the councillors before they entered the doorway for the staircase leading down to the ground.

"Captain Anderson, how long will this take?"

"As long as it needs to Councillor Garcia..."

"Wonderful."

Councillor von Vogel exited the aircraft first, while Councillor Garcia simply looked out onto the airport and smiled and waved for whoever might be looking in their general direction at the current moment in time.

The armoured motorcade swung away from the airport where the Tu-134 Airliner was cooling its engines on the hot tarmac of Randomea. Inside the vehicle, Jack Kavanagh, Doctor in Political Science and Special Envoy from the Kommissariat of Foreign Affairs, reclined in the leather chair of the vehicle, flanked by a pair of bodyguards assigned from the KFA's Security Detachment. Glancing through his files on the Queendom of Randomea, he prepared himself for the task to come.

Primarly, the Doctor was here as a representative of the United Socialist States for the wedding of this monarchy. Almost as importantly, the Doctor had been tasked with making contacts with other domestic and foreign dignitaries in a bid to extend the political relations of the USSC in this new era of international activity. Kavanagh was well aware of the limited ability he had been given to negotiate on certain political and economic areas by the President-Kommissariat himself, and relished the chance to make a difference for the Cynapsian Union if he could.

The vehicle traversed the astonishingly clean streets of Randomea's capital before swinging into the grounds of the venue where the wedding was taking place. Kavanagh took a moment to straighten his suit - a two-peice affair in white and black with a Cynapsian flag pin on his lapel - before stepping out of the vehicle behind one of the bodyguards and proceeding into the building.

A hole appears up in the side of a sand-dune, on a beach in one of the tourist areas. Anybody who actually looks into that opening would see that it seems to be the mouth of a tunnel, which slopes downwards and disappears into the distance. Nobody is visible within this passage, but two voices --which anybody who's spent much time in the UN Strangers' Bar might recognise as Wabbitish in nature -- have begun a conversation just outside it...

"I don't understand, how did you get us here so quickly when we've never had a wabbithole link to this nation before now?"
"I used the 'Albukoikie' principle: Because any of our tunnels that passes by that town goes badly off of its intended course I simply dug straight towards it and then aimed at "anywhere except Randomea"... so here we are."
"That's the most ridiculous rubbish that my elegant ears have ever heard!"
"But it worked, right?"
"Well, yeah, it did... but it's still ridiculous. I need a drink..."
"So do I: shall we try over there?"
"You're the navigation expert, all of a sudden: How am I supposed to know?"

(The voices pass along the beach, a few feet up in the air, still bickering: beneath them, two pairs of large feet leave their marks on the sand...)

A scantily clad Randomean cycled as fast as he could towards the 747-400 just as a couple of beaming and waving councillors descended the steps. Swerving his elaborate rickshaw in an arc and stopping at the bottom of the red carpet he had just moments to jump off and perform an extravagent bow.
"Greetings gentlemen to Randomea! I am Godak Manwell and am the Fiellell tribe's representative. I apologise for the lack of appropriate ceremony for your arrival but with the wedding it has been a bit of a holiday for all of us."
With a certain penache they were all (realtively) safely installed and cycling through the lush rainforest as Godek acted as tour guide.

_______________________________________________

Meanwhile in the capital, Hileyvalwaphol, the palace grounds were being decorated for the impending arrival of the Royal family on their final stop on the island and the many envoys from various countries.
Barrels of rum, piles of wood, fresh fish and whole herds of animals were building up in the outhouses. Acres of freshly washed linen hung from lines suspended between apple trees. Ribbons festooned the imperious-looking palace doors and a short be-whiskered Randomean (with an affected French accent) conducted the whole affair from the atrium.
"Mademoiselle no! Purple for ze Dukes, Red is for ze Viscounts!...Non non non! Ze orchestra wil be ere and the meat will be roasted over zere-get zat goose out of ere!"
He was surprised by the arrival of a large man...and a be-suited man behind him. "Zut! Zey are coming already! Away away!" Making wild gestures to the staff the little man swirled around then bobbed his head up and down towards the Cynapsian Envoy. "Monsieur! Enchante! Welcome to Randomea," he gestured towards a pretty young maid wearing something approaching a sari, who hurried over "Jazuki will escort you to your suite. If you will ezkuse me".
The girl curtseyed and smiled. "Follow me sir," as she led them up the grand staircase. "Your suite overlooks the ocean, visitors often find the rainforest view too noisy. I beg you will pardon the disorder, the Royal family delayed their return a day due to a sudden rainstorm. And here we are" she said as she flung open a set of double doors, and then scattered rose petals over the hallway.