NationStates Jolt Archive


On Homo Cazelius - A Documentary

British Londinium
19-08-2007, 02:51
The camera pans across a barren landscape covered in rubble, with artillery-formed craters peppering the land; several fires can be seen raging in the background. It stops as a confident man in a safari outfit approaches.

"Greetings. I'm Tom Sloan, and I'll be your host today in this documentary about the primitive and backwards people of Cazelia."

A montage of clips showcasing poverty, disease, and anarchy are shown, all superimposed over a Cazelian flag.

"Cazelians, to you and me, may look just like a regular human being. But look closely, and you'll be able to see why Cazelians aren't regular human beings."

A computer generated model of a Cazelian appears onscreen.

"Look at the slouch this Cazelian exhibits, and the glassy-eyed, vacant expression that never seems to go away. Or look at the way his knuckles drag on the ground as he walks. An ever closer inspection of Cazelian anatomy reveals even more differences. The cranial structure, you see, is highly resemblant of a member of Homo erectus, not that of a regular human being. Even the heart of a Homo cazelius is fundamentally flawed, as it only has three chambers - not the human four."

The image of the kindly-looking Londinian reappears.

"But enough about anatomy. Let's look at them in the wild."

The image fades out, and is replaced by a Cazelian walking in the woods.

"This here is the site of a battle between the People's Sovereign Army and the Cazelian militias outside Orlock, where two or three Londinians were killed."

The Cazelian woman stumbles across a dead body, apparently that of a soldier. She picks up the corpse's pistol.

"Watch the Cazelian struggle to comprehend this firearm - a tool many of us take for granted." The woman examines the pistol in her hands, and, as the muzzle is pointed at her head, accidentally depresses the trigger. She falls to the ground. "Or, conversely, watch her earn a Darwin award. Either or."

A clip of a Cazelian government plane replaces the previous footage, and two men step out of the aircraft.

"Here we see two senior leaders of the Cazelian 'government', if you choose to call it that. They have foolishly decided to enter the lands of a hostile nation that wants nothing more than the destruction of Cazelia. And, to make matters worst, they didn't even bother informing the opposing government."

As the two men walk across the tarmac, several dozen soldiers perforate their bodies with their assault rifles.

"And these individuals, ladies and gentlemen, are who the Cazelians elect as their leaders."

The Londinian man reappears once more.

"But the question remains: how did the Cazelians obtain such advanced technology? No one knows, but it's believed that these savage brutes took advantage of human kindness, stealing our technology. All we can say for sure about this horrific species is that it is an endangered one, threatened by its own stupidity. But we must take measures to protect this species, as all life is important. Already, several governments around the world have taken measures to place Cazelians in zoological institutes, giving them a safe place to live and breed, all under the watchful eyes of trained naturalists. Write to your government officials - ask them to protect your local Cazelian population and place them in a zoo, where they belong.

This has been Tom Sloan. Thanks for watching."

This documentary does not represent the views of the PSR nor the LBG, as it was produced by an independent third party and broadcast on a private network.
Cazelia
19-08-2007, 02:58
The camera pans across a barren landscape covered in rubble, with artillery-formed craters peppering the land; several fires can be seen raging in the background. It stops as a confident man in a safari outfit approaches.

"Greetings. I'm Tom Sloan, and I'll be your host today in this documentary about the primitive and backwards people of Cazelia."

A montage of clips showcasing poverty, disease, and anarchy are shown, all superimposed over a Cazelian flag.

"Cazelians, to you and me, may look just like a regular human being. But look closely, and you'll be able to see why Cazelians aren't regular human beings."

A computer generated model of a Cazelian appears onscreen.

"Look at the slouch this Cazelian exhibits, and the glassy-eyed, vacant expression that never seems to go away. Or look at the way his knuckles drag on the ground as he walks. An ever closer inspection of Cazelian anatomy reveals even more differences. The cranial structure, you see, is highly resemblant of a member of Homo erectus, not that of a regular human being. Even the heart of a Homo cazelius is fundamentally flawed, as it only has three chambers - not the human four."

The image of the kindly-looking Londinian reappears.

"But enough about anatomy. Let's look at them in the wild."

The image fades out, and is replaced by a Cazelian walking in the woods.

"This here is the site of a battle between the People's Sovereign Army and the Cazelian militias outside Orlock, where two or three Londinians were killed."

The Cazelian woman stumbles across a dead body, apparently that of a soldier. She picks up the corpse's pistol.

"Watch the Cazelian struggle to comprehend this firearm - a tool many of us take for granted." The woman examines the pistol in her hands, and, as the muzzle is pointed at her head, accidentally depresses the trigger. She falls to the ground. "Or, conversely, watch her earn a Darwin award. Either or."

A clip of a Cazelian government plane replaces the previous footage, and two men step out of the aircraft.

"Here we see two senior leaders of the Cazelian 'government', if you choose to call it that. They have foolishly decided to enter the lands of a hostile nation that wants nothing more than the destruction of Cazelia. And, to make matters worst, they didn't even bother informing the opposing government."

As the two men walk across the tarmac, several dozen soldiers perforate their bodies with their assault rifles.

"And these individuals, ladies and gentlemen, are who the Cazelians elect as their leaders."

The Londinian man reappears once more.

"But the question remains: how did the Cazelians obtain such advanced technology? No one knows, but it's believed that these savage brutes took advantage of human kindness, stealing our technology. All we can say for sure about this horrific species is that it is an endangered one, threatened by its own stupidity. But we must take measures to protect this species, as all life is important. Already, several governments around the world have taken measures to place Cazelians in zoological institutes, giving them a safe place to live and breed, all under the watchful eyes of trained naturalists. Write to your government officials - ask them to protect your local Cazelian population and place them in a zoo, where they belong.

This has been Tom Sloan. Thanks for watching."

OOC- ok, BL, shut up about this. i have gone dormant, but my FT nation, the coalition, may be able to fucking glass your country. leave this matter in the 'forgotten' pile, and pretend i never existed
British Londinium
19-08-2007, 03:00
OOC: Why are you getting so angry OOCly? It's nothing more than an IC jab. And, incidentally, why would I RP with an FT country?
Carbandia
19-08-2007, 03:04
The People's Republic hereby officially condemns this so called "documentary" as nothing more than a elaborate display of propaganda.

We hereby demand that scientists from neutral nations be allowed to not only see these so called results of yours, but also check them for themselves.
-Official statement from the Carbandian foreign ministry
New Brittonia
19-08-2007, 03:26
The USS of New Brittonia has failed to see conclusive scientific evidence on why the Cazelian population, although a different species of the Homo genus, is not a sentinent group which adopts the same principles of nationhood that we put the British Londinian people as, which are that of the 1933 Montevedo Convention, those are this:

The state as a person of international law should possess the following qualifications: (a) a permanent population; (b) a defined territory; (c) government; and (d) capacity to enter into relations with the other states.

Thus, the United Socialist states of New Brittonia, still formally recognizes Cazelia as a independent state.

Signed,
Foreign Minister of the United Socialist States of New Brittonia
Sarah Lynch

_______

Reviews:

"Al Gore was better"

"One thumb up, one thumb sideways."

"That was short."

"I like men now."
Vontanas
19-08-2007, 03:33
Ratings of this documentary skyrocketed, it quickly became the best documentary of the year. Reward after reward piled on, and marketing agents were quick to buy into the documentary hype, ceding fifty percent of documentary related profits to the company that made them. There was a brief lapse, but when finally the DVDs came on to the shelves, they flew off. Every single person in New Vantania had one copy.

General Review

We sort of liked it.

Government Review

It was okay for a documentary
British Londinium
19-08-2007, 22:17
Bumpity.
Cazelia
19-08-2007, 22:44
Bumpity.

:mad:
Central Prestonia
19-08-2007, 22:51
OOC: Just ignore him Caz. No sense getting pissed off OOCly over him calling you subhuman ICly.
British Londinium
19-08-2007, 22:56
OOC: It's an IC jab at your nation, Cazelia. It's not meant to be personal.
Nova Pictavia
19-08-2007, 23:11
The Commonwealth of Nova Pictavia sits down to watch, then laughs for three-days straight. Then they get back up, pick up their rifles, and head back out to cleanse the corporate scum. With tears in their eyes.

God that was a good program...
Theoroshia
19-08-2007, 23:51
OOC: Lawl, nice BL.
Shazbotdom
20-08-2007, 00:14
SHAZBOTDOM NEWS NETWORK
A new documetary has hit the shelves all across the world and the Government of the Shazbotdom Empire has officially condemned it and barred it from behing shown in the Dark Empire and her colonies. In a press conference, Supreme Emperor George A. Loak called the piece of video "a discrace to the documentary industry and the nation in which it was created." In an official piece of legislation that has come out of the Imperial Palace, it states that if any organization, person, or company shows the video of the 'documentary' will result in a B$4,000 (Four Thousand Black Dollar) fine and roughly 15 years in prison for the one who authorised the showing of the video.

In other news...
New Brittonia
20-08-2007, 00:24
OOC: BL, you gonna reply to what the reviews said?
Carbandia
20-08-2007, 00:55
ooc: Not to mention the fact that three nations have gone so far as to officially condemn it..

ic:
We hereby also outlaw this piece of trash from our nation, and extend a offer to our esteemed allies in Shazbotdom to work together to keep this so called documentary out of the hands of people in our respective countries.
-Foreign minister Gennady Bondarenko
Vontanas
20-08-2007, 01:09
The Free Empire condems the nations who banned the documentary for breaches of freedom of speech. It is ironic that these nations, who call themselves 'liberal' would be the ones to deny this basic freedom.
The Far Echo Islands
20-08-2007, 01:49
SIC:

The Far Echo Islands cannot ban this documentary due to free speech laws, however, we do view it as a work of fiction, and one would have to look for it in that section of the movie store.
Central Prestonia
20-08-2007, 02:01
Official Prestonian Statement

While we cannot ban this film outright due to Article I of the Prestonian Constitution upholding the freedom of speech, this so called "documentary" has been labeled a work of satirical fiction. We believe the only way to conclusively prove that a Cazelian is less intelligent than any other citizen is to have both take the same unbiased IQ test. We also condemn the government of British Londinium, believing hate speech and propaganda to be above civilized nations. Perhaps you are truly the uncivilized barbarians, as past actions would seem to indicate.
Nova Nippon
20-08-2007, 05:32
In a rare display of complete unity the three Courts Of Nova Nippon agree with the other nations that have declared this so called doccumentary a farce and have placed it upong the list of banned and forbidden items.

The Divine Court of the Emperor, the Earthly Court of the Taiko, and the Court That Lies Between, that of the Shogun have issued a Unified Proclamation advising that any within the Imperia found viewing said item, having viewed said item, possessing this or any other forbidden item, attemtping to sell / lease / rent / loan / offer as gift or incentive on a wholesale, or retail level the forbidden item can suffer a penality up to and including death.

The Celestial Empire of Nova Nippon has no interaction, and will have no interaction with the nation titling itself British Londinium. The Realm of the Imperia is closed to all citizens or residents of British Londinium, and such corporations that have their 'home' within that nation, or do a majority of their business with that nation. Any one attempting to bring this item into the Imperia will be summarily executed.
Shazbotdom
20-08-2007, 05:34
The Free Empire condems the nations who banned the documentary for breaches of freedom of speech. It is ironic that these nations, who call themselves 'liberal' would be the ones to deny this basic freedom.


http://usera.imagecave.com/CaptainDeath/VariousShazbotdom/Government-Seal.gif
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE MINISTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
MR. LARRY WILLIAMS
It is our understanding that you make an assault upon this nations freedoms because we ban this piece of filth that is being called a 'documentary' from our nation. Well we don't really give a rats ass what you think. It is the right of a government to protect it's civilians from something that, in the governments eyes, can spread fear and terror in a nation. This piece of filth can and will spread terror in the eyes of Shazbotdomites due to several Cazelian Refugees in our nation that have shown and proved to us that they are as smart as a standard civilian from other nations that we have run across.

From our point of view, this 'documentary' is nothing but a work of fiction with actors who have little, if no, talent. Which is why we are barring it from the Shazbotdom Empire, not wanting the people of our nation to think that the Cazelian Refugees are a threat to our way of life. If that is still a problem in the eyes of your small and pitiful national leadership's eyes, then so be it. We will not allow this, even if you threaten us. Kapeesh?
Tanara
20-08-2007, 05:49
The Tanaran Empire has refused to allow this shabby piece of fiction within it's borders. "It isn't even good fiction" stated the Empress Perigrine Apollon -Moore after viewing with her husband Hans Belran of Tarlachia. "This isn't a freedom of speech issue, but a freedom from bad taste and no artistic merit. I wonder why the govenment of British Londinium allows such appaling falsity to be labeled a documentary. However the Tanaran Empire has no relationship, and desires none, between the Empire and British Londinium. We shall simply make sure that it doesn't enter the Empire."
Lord Sumguy
20-08-2007, 14:15
Sales of the film within the Holy Empire of the new documentary were huge, although this may be attributed to the fact that most people thought it was a joke. When Lord Sumguy was asked about it, he was quoted as saying: "What? That was a serious documentary?" At which point the emperor and several people around him collapsed into fits of laughter.
Vanek Drury Brieres
20-08-2007, 14:25
The VDB is appalled by this recent action, as well as many others (OOC: Caramel Teacup?). This movie may not be banned, but however, it is unsupportive and sold 0 copies it's first day in the VDB. It also resides in the "Fiction" section of the movie store and is considered AO (Adults Only) and is priced at 5,000 BP (British Pounds) to further deter anyone to watch this piece of *@#$)(. To rent, you must pay the same fee.

OOC: BL, I half want to declare war on you. Except you have 1.912 billion and I have 425 million. But, you would probably just send 27,000 nukes at me and not care.
Ravensholt
20-08-2007, 14:30
To the People of British Londinium!

The Ravensholt government, its people haveing evolutionary similarities with those of Cazelians, formaly condems this documentary, and futhermore we ask that all copies of it be destroyed at neutral grounds, the volcano forges of Ravensholt shall gladly destroy them.

-Signed-

Hanz Revan
Elected Prime minister of Ravensholt
Vanek Drury Brieres
20-08-2007, 14:35
This sounds agreeable, fine country of Ravensholt.

OOC: Nice first post Raven, and this doesn't happen often it's just usually guys like BL. This is sub-par for him, did you know last week he bombed a guy with 27,000 nukes?
The Charr
20-08-2007, 14:45
Having little to no interest in the machinations of the outside world, this so-called documentary was broadcast on but a select few minor comedy channels via cable and satellite broadcasters. Ratings were quite low, although critics were quoted as saying that it was a "hilarious insight into the primitive and hypocritical mind of the average dishonourable hairless ape", and that it "showed the clear disregard for the truth that is a common trait amongst [that species]".

Meanwhile, a small production studio in Southern Ascalon produced a short mockumentary along a similar vein, demonstrating the inferiority of the homo sapien in general and the British Londinian in particular. Ironically this mockumentary, called 'On Homo Moronicus - A Documentary', achieved higher ratings and more critical acclaim, although it was met with some resistance from the dwindling human population of Tyria who did not 'get the joke'. Charrian comedians could sometimes deliberately obfuscate their jokes...

As per usual, the UCC government gave the documentary the full force of their utter apathy, and said nothing.
British Londinium
20-08-2007, 14:47
OOC: Who you callin' sub-par? :p Can't people recognize it for what this is - a joke?

Regardless, Vanek, you're welcome to invade me once this thing with Kraven is over. Just you and me, and no nukes. What say you?
Faxanavia
20-08-2007, 14:52
The Allied States of Faxanavia wishes to commend British Londinium on it's excellent new comedy. It's satire and sarcasm are far beyond those of a normal comedic venture. The sales have been incredible here in the Allied States- we all love a good comedy, and this one most certainly is! It is also a great opportunity for Cazelians! They are entering into all new performing arts roles thanks to your "docuementary"!
Laughing Out Loud,
Prime Minister Ivansky Bochick
Vanek Drury Brieres
20-08-2007, 15:04
I was pretty much joking but seriously, BL, you're going a little bit too far.
Amazonian Beasts
20-08-2007, 16:08
OOC: BL, please. Pretty bad excuse for a joke and poor RP etiquette in general after you've already trashed Cazelia's MT nation. Leave it.

IC:

Governmental Open Address to the Soon-to-be-Doomed Nation of British Londinium

The Amazonian nation will laugh as your women are taken to the Kraven Birthing Facilities to spawn further capitol police, when your children are dead in the streets in pools of their own blood, your men dead in the face of the Kraven machine. You may mock another nation's demise, but your own is soon to follow.

-Amazonian Dominion
New Brittonia
20-08-2007, 16:44
OOC: BL, please. Pretty bad excuse for a joke and poor RP etiquette in general after you've already trashed Cazelia's MT nation. Leave it.

IC:

Governmental Open Address to the Soon-to-be-Doomed Nation of British Londinium

The Amazonian nation will laugh as your women are taken to the Kraven Birthing Facilities to spawn further capitol police, when your children are dead in the streets in pools of their own blood, your men dead in the face of the Kraven machine. You may mock another nation's demise, but your own is soon to follow.

-Amazonian Dominion

The USS of New Brittonia is not that hostile on the Homo cazelius documentary, but we are perplexed on why your documentary made a man gay. Why, BL, why?

Signed,
Foreign Minister of the United Socialist States of New Brittonia
Sarah Lynch
[NS::::]Olmedreca
20-08-2007, 17:39
ooc: Some people seem to fail to realize that ICly that documentary is done by some random people not by BL's state, so ICly you can blame BL government only for having too relaxed free speech laws.

IC:
In more educated parts of Olmedrecan population documentary did not receive any attention. Among less educated people it earned some popularity, although currently most attention goes to documentaries about attrocities of Kraven Corporation.
Carbandia
20-08-2007, 18:23
Olmedreca;12982257']ooc: Some people seem to fail to realize that ICly that documentary is done by some random people not by BL's state, so ICly you can blame BL government only for having too relaxed free speech laws.

IC:
In more educated parts of Olmedrecan population documentary did not receive any attention. Among less educated people it earned some popularity, although currently most attention goes to documentaries about attrocities of Kraven Corporation.
ooc: sure we can blame him for this hogwash, as it stinks of being a deliberate govermental attempt to make Cazelia look bad..Both ic'ly, and ooc'ly..

Congratulations, BL..you have reached a new low.
British Londinium
20-08-2007, 18:34
OOC: Here's a radical thought. If this thread is such a low, and it's stupid/disgusting to you, how about you simply stop posting in it and let it die?
Amazonian Beasts
21-08-2007, 02:46
OOC: Here's a radical thought. If this thread is such a low, and it's stupid/disgusting to you, how about you simply stop posting in it and let it die?

How 'bout you stop harrassing Cazelia (ie, posting in the FT thread against Ingram Halsey or whatever his name is)? Why not just leave Cazelia alone and move on to what'll happen to your nation if you don't defend against Kraven?
Dephire
22-08-2007, 00:49
"To Arms, Dear Friends, To Arms." ~Descius Kane

Kane stood in front of cameras, hundreds upon thousands of cameras. His charisma was extremely high ever since he had killed the men behind Scythis' death. The people were in love with him, and this he used to his advantage.

"My good people," Kane spoke with a voice that demanded attention from everyone whom heard it, "I come to speak with you about conditions concerning British Londinium..."

Ten thousand miles away, a small fleet of tactical strike submarines were making slow progress towards the outer range of British Londinium's capital and surrounding metropolitan area.

"British Londinium continues to act as an annoyance towards myself and towards this nation. As I speak now, twenty-five tactical nuclear strike submarines are edging closer and closer towards British Londinium..."

The submarines halted as Kane spoke the code word, 'twenty-five'. At once, the fleet's admiral ordered to begin launch sequence to eight nuclear missiles carrying a super-large grade.

"...and all I can say is this, good riddens." Kane wrapped up his speech rather swiftly.

Ten thousand miles away, eight identical streaks of light burst from the ocean's surface. They then raced towards British Londinium at hypersonic speeds.

Kane turned towards his adviser, "British Londinium will die."
Akimonad
22-08-2007, 00:56
-snip-

OOC: Bad idea. And easily taken out by Sprint missiles.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 00:58
OOC: Bad idea. And easily taken out by Sprint missiles.

OOC: Since when does an '06 have ruling over an '05? Please don't forget that I just launched 8 missiles. Also, don't interject your own anti-nuclear beliefs as well. British Londinium has more enemies than allies. I don't give a rat's ass what an '06 thinks.
Akimonad
22-08-2007, 01:00
OOC: Since when does an '06 have ruling over an '05? Please don't forget that I just launched 8 missiles. Also, don't interject your own anti-nuclear beliefs as well. British Londinium has more enemies than allies. I don't give a rat's ass what an '06 thinks.

Since when does age matter? Are you aware that I've been here since 2004? In any case, there will be retaliation, which I hope you anticipated.
The World Soviet Party
22-08-2007, 01:02
Snip

Fort Outpost,
Soviet base in BL

The radar station had been on full alert due to the Kraven threat, so the missiles were quickly spotted. The order was given to shoot them down, and so, the S-400 batteries opened with a barrage of missiles.
New Brittonia
22-08-2007, 01:03
Can't we all get along???
Theoroshia
22-08-2007, 01:04
OOC: That was a stupid move man.

First, when you joined doesn't matter. I'd been using Nation States since '05, but never realized that there were forums.

Secondly, BL has the E.V.I.L. alliance to back him up. I hope you expected some retaliation.

Third, I consider that godmodding. I don't think BL would let you park your submarines wherever you please.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 01:09
Since when does age matter? Are you aware that I've been here since 2004? In any case, there will be retaliation, which I hope you anticipated.

OOC: It would be rather hard to retalliate when half the world is already on BL's ass already. :rolleyes: Unless BL can wank out of it, I wouldn't worry too much.

IC:

Kane walked into his office and shut the door. A man in a dark cloak was sitting in a chair in front of the desk.

"Hello, sir." The man in the chair spoke with a low tone.

"Hello, Craig. Are you ready for orders?"

"Yes sir."

"I'd like you to activate the anti-missile defenses. Have our ships on standby, and scramble the jets. Thank you."

Craig Freize stood and bowed. He then turned on his heel towards the exit, of which he passed through.

No other nation knew of the entire defense network system encompassing Dephire. Since there were several thousand islands surrounding the mainland, it was difficult to strike with any form of non-orbital weapon. These islands were full of anti-missile lasers along with anti-missile missile platforms. They were also housing units for the Dephirian Navy, which had their own anti-missile systems. The only way to strike would be from a satellite, if that satellite could even get past the Dephirian Space Defense System in place...
Akimonad
22-08-2007, 01:11
Base One Island

Things were rather peaceful at the Office of High Command.

And then, all hell broke loose.

"Intelligence reports eight ballistic missiles incoming towards British Londinium." A midranking officer said.

The small conference room erupted into frenzy.

Missile silos were opened throughout the country.

The following message was sent to the Dephire government:

Official Communique

To: Dephire

It has come to our attention that you have launched missiles against the Supreme Imperator of the EVIL Alliance Bloc. Disarm your missiles now, or face the fury and retaliation of EVIL.
Akimonad
22-08-2007, 01:13
-snip-

I'm going to assume from that that this is PMT, which is good, because I can now use HISS.
Theoroshia
22-08-2007, 01:14
Although the Intelligence sector wasn't as fast in gaining the information as their Akimonadian allies were, they reacted in kind.

Throughout the nation, fifty seven silos were prepared for launch, and twenty eight submarines began heading for the waters around Dephire, armed with nuclear missiles.

The message to Dephire was the same as the Akimodians.
Vontanas
22-08-2007, 01:16
OOC: Not to mention he's already got the military on high alert due to Kraven's attack. Also, Aki, I think that we realistically have to develop HISS before we can use it. Which is why I wanted IC posts.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 01:17
OOC: That was a stupid move man.

First, when you joined doesn't matter. I'd been using Nation States since '05, but never realized that there were forums.

Secondly, BL has the E.V.I.L. alliance to back him up. I hope you expected some retaliation.

Third, I consider that godmodding. I don't think BL would let you park your submarines wherever you please.

OOC:
First of all, it isn't godmodding. I never said that I was in one thousand miles of his nation, so that rules out god modding.

Secondly, why the fucking hell would he still be in "E.V.I.L."? He has broken several other alliance's charters. Do you honestly expect to trust him? Hell, he can't keep his word!

Thirdly, I still don't give a rat's ass. Replying to IC with OOC, wow.
Kampfers
22-08-2007, 01:18
I'm going to assume from that that this is PMT, which is good, because I can now use HISS.

OOC: Not to mention he's already got the military on high alert due to Kraven's attack. Also, Aki, I think that we realistically have to develop HISS before we can use it. Which is why I wanted IC posts.

OOC: Yes, you can't use HISS. Remember that fluid time concept I tried to explain to you Akimonad? Christ...
Theoroshia
22-08-2007, 01:33
OOC: This guy is wacky. This topic is supposed to be about a documentary, and he turned it into a global (well, not exactly) thermonuclear war. I'm ignoring all of his posts.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 01:37
OOC:

In any sense, my attacks are on BL. If you seriously wish to sign a death certificate, then please join the war ICly. The reason why I put in the join date is because that is how most people check to see how big of a nation you have. Thus why I'm laughing so freaking hard now that so many '07s with absolutely no clue about BL are siding with him.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 01:39
OOC: This guy is wacky. This topic is supposed to be about a documentary, and he turned it into a global (well, not exactly) thermonuclear war. I'm ignoring all of his posts.

OOC:
BL brought this upon himself when he launched a grand sum of 27,000 nuclear missiles at North Calaveras.
Maldorians
22-08-2007, 01:41
The Mandalorian Empire, in a show of good face, will not join this 'conflict' yet rather we will 'aid' Dephire. Any missile strike against them will be taken as an act of war and will be responded as such...

Mandalorian Message...
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 01:48
OOC: Unbelievable, Delphire. I'm appalled simply on the grounds of your unimaginably hostile attitude towards '06 nations. Since when did clicking the "Create a nation" button a year early make somebody a better RPer?
Maldorians
22-08-2007, 01:54
OOC: Unbelievable, Dephire. I'm appalled simply on the grounds of your unimaginably hostile attitude towards '06 nations. Since when did clicking the "Create a nation" button a year early make somebody a better RPer?

Fixed...:p
Dephire
22-08-2007, 01:56
OOC: Unbelievable, Delphire. I'm appalled simply on the grounds of your unimaginably hostile attitude towards '06 nations. Since when did clicking the "Create a nation" button a year early make somebody a better RPer?

OOC: Well, for one, I said "Nation Size" not RP experience. So please read posts thoroughly before responding. It'll save everyone from loads of arguments.
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 01:58
OOC: No, you said that '06 nations had no right to judge you, which, to me implied that you think you're a better RPer, or, at least, above everyone else, simply because you're larger.
The World Soviet Party
22-08-2007, 02:00
Fort Outpost,
Soviet base in BL

The radar station had been on full alert due to the Kraven threat, so the missiles were quickly spotted. The order was given to shoot them down, and so, the S-400 batteries opened with a barrage of missiles.

QFT!
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:02
OOC: No, you said that '06 nations had no right to judge you, which, to me implied that you think you're a better RPer, or, at least, above everyone else, simply because you're larger.

OOC: Ah, actually, I was trying to imply that '07 nations do not know the past histories of '06 nations and that someone from '06 really doesn't have the right of way to win in an argument over an '05. I've even taken this to heart when speaking with '04s and '03s.
Vetalia
22-08-2007, 02:07
OOC: Ah, actually, I was trying to imply that '07 nations do not know the past histories of '06 nations and that someone from '06 really doesn't have the right of way to win in an argument over an '05. I've even taken this to heart when speaking with '04s and '03s.

OOC: It can be misleading, though. I'm older than you, but I only really started RPing in February or so. I'll defer to a nation that is more experienced, no matter their age, unless I know for a fact I'm right.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:09
QFT!

OOC: I was about to get to that.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:10
OOC: It can be misleading, though. I'm older than you, but I only really started RPing in February or so. I'll defer to a nation that is more experienced, no matter their age, unless I know for a fact I'm right.

OOC:

Well, I shall applaud to you and respect you. *claps*

Now may I ask for your assistance? I can send an IC message!
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:10
OOC: Do I not get a chance to respond before you have them turn into cluster missiles of death? Or is it that you're a wanker and didn't want me to shoot them down with my space-based ABM satellites?
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:18
OOC: Nothing fancy, because I don't feel like wasting my time on Dephire. And this occurs before the missile division.

Meanwhile, dozens of hydrogen fluoride lasers in constant geosynchronous orbit over British Londinium activated, rapidly shooting down the Delphrian missiles.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:20
OOC: Do I not get a chance to respond before you have them turn into cluster missiles of death? Or is it that you're a wanker and didn't want me to shoot them down with my space-based ABM satellites?

OOC: Actually, I just now withdrew that.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:26
The admiral smiled to himself and then spoke another command directed towards his fleet, "fire now".

Several more streaks of light burst from the ocean's surface, this time screaming towards The World Soviet Party's protective artillery barrages.

This time the admiral squeeled with delight when the fresh missiles broke up into several more. He was going to have fun.
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:30
OOC: Now this is getting annoying out of principle. I still don't understand how they can do that. This hereby receives the "BL Award for Moding" and the "Londinian Seal of Ignore".
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:35
OOC: Now this is getting annoying out of principle. I still don't understand how they can do that. This hereby receives the "BL Award for Moding" and the "Londinian Seal of Ignore".

OOC: You don't know how more missiles could be fired?
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:36
OOC: I can estimate. You used the word "several", which, according to the latest edition of the Oxford English Dictionary, means "more than two but not many". So seven-hundred minimissiles is out.
Vontanas
22-08-2007, 02:39
The admiral smiled to himself and then spoke another command directed towards his fleet, "fire now".

Several more streaks of light burst from the ocean's surface, this time screaming towards The World Soviet Party's protective artillery barrages.

This time the admiral squeeled with delight when the fresh missiles broke up into several hundred more. He was going to have fun.

OOC: So now you're attacking TWSP's sovereign territory. You do realize that Kraven is about to invade, don't you?

IC:

Sattelites swerved, firing off to neutralise the missles. By no means was this a heavily defended corner of the globe, recieving military protection just because it was part of EVIL. Some of the missles would survive the sattelites arm, and most of them wouldn't be targetted at all.
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:39
OOC: Vontanas, I'm ignoring the attacks anyways. So don't worry about it.
Amazonian Beasts
22-08-2007, 02:41
OOC: Ok, Dephire, I started out angry at BL and now I'm on his side...seriously, give it up.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:42
OOC:
BL, there you are estimating again. There are not 700. I just use 'several' to hide the actual numbers. If you really must know, those 25 subs fired 2 additional missiles (that's 50 if you are keeping record). Those split into 3 missiles each (150). Ah...wait...I see now. My bad! *edits*
The Order of America
22-08-2007, 02:42
The Order of America has banned this Documentary from the Public Eye. All Documentaries found in the OoA have been retrieved and burned. The OoA Condemns The Producers for the Production of this Documentary. This Video is sick and wrong and once again displays the Sub-Human Attitude of British Londinium.

[Signed,]
Richard Forrest
Minister of Propaganda
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:44
OOC: So now you're attacking TWSP's sovereign territory. You do realize that Kraven is about to invade, don't you?


OOC: His land became open season when he retaliated against my missiles aimed towards BL.
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:44
OOC: Either way, I'm still ignoring it.
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 02:47
OOC:

As do you when it comes to accepting that you're a wank. "Hiding numbers" - what kind of tripe is that? I don't need to RP with a person who can't even be straight about how many missiles they're firing. Jeez.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:47
OOC:
I knew you would. How did I know? Because when things don't go your way, you whine and cry like a baby and then ignore everyone. I'm sorry, but you have lost due to forfeit. Good day.
Theoroshia
22-08-2007, 02:55
Theoroshian's stared at awe when a weapon submerged from the sea. A weapon so vast, so immense, that it was called the Nation Killer.

The official name was the Ignore Cannon, and it was fired at Dephire three times for good measure.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 02:58
OOC:
BL, there you are estimating again. There are not 700. I just use 'several' to hide the actual numbers. If you really must know, those 25 subs fired 2 additional missiles (that's 50 if you are keeping record). Those split into 3 missiles each (150). Ah...wait...I see now. My bad! *edits*

OOC:
OMG, BL, READ THE FUCKING POSTS THOROUGHLY! No wonder why everyone dislikes you for being a poor rper, you don't read!
British Londinium
22-08-2007, 03:02
OOC:

Dephire, I already saw that, thank you very much. It bothers me that you couldn't write those numbers down in the first place. And calm down. It's game, remember that.
Maldorians
22-08-2007, 03:07
Theoroshian's stared at awe when a weapon submerged from the sea. A weapon so vast, so immense, that it was called the Nation Killer.

The official name was the Ignore Cannon, and it was fired at Dephire three times for good measure.


As the Theoroshian's launched their Ignore Cannons, Maldorians knew better...Imperial Gods's Never Open Red E-bombs, Codenamed. I.G.N.O.R.E for short, were soon fired at Theoroshia....:D
Theoroshia
22-08-2007, 03:08
OOC: Lulz at Maldorians.
The World Soviet Party
22-08-2007, 03:09
OOC: His land became open season when he retaliated against my missiles aimed towards BL.

Wait, you are firing at my homeland?

I thought you were targeting my base in BL.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 03:11
OOC:

Dephire, I already saw that, thank you very much. It bothers me that you couldn't write those numbers down in the first place. And calm down. It's game, remember that.

OOC: Alright.
Dephire
22-08-2007, 03:12
Wait, you are firing at my homeland?

I thought you were targeting my base in BL.

Err...I was firing at the base in BL...
The World Soviet Party
22-08-2007, 03:12
Err...I was firing at the base in BL...

And what are you firing, exactly?

Nukes, conventional missiles, bio weapons, chem weapons, chickens?
Dephire
22-08-2007, 03:17
And what are you firing, exactly?

Nukes, conventional missiles, bio weapons, chem weapons, chickens?

OOC:

Chickens. Your guys needed food, so I am dropping KFC.
The World Soviet Party
22-08-2007, 03:18
OOC:

Chickens. Your guys needed food, so I am dropping KFC.

OOC: I see, then, I shall retaliate with the most horrific weapon ever created, "lite" and "diet" food.
The Order of America
22-08-2007, 03:28
OOC: People Chill there is know reason to be killing each other over a freakin Documentary!!!!!
Dephire
22-08-2007, 03:29
OOC: I see, then, I shall retaliate with the most horrific weapon ever created, "lite" and "diet" food.

OOC: YAY HEALTHY!!!


((Sorry for somewhat spamming your thread BL...just now got happy for some reason and might just as well withdraw everything I did here and move on.))