NationStates Jolt Archive

Semi Secret IC...somewhere in Sardinia:

Hundreds of men, women, and teenagers stand chained together in the middle of a great building...as large as a football field. They are trapped in what is essentially a hole in the ground in the middle of this building, and on the higher level people in lab coats scurry hither and thither, for reasons not completely known to these prisoners. In the midst of these prisoners is a metallic canister...the contents completely unknown to them.

Things begin to grow dark as overhead, the top of the pit begins to close, a steel gate shutting them in...complete blackness surrounding them.

A loadspeaker from within the pit reveals the voice of the Imperator of Rome himself, Sextus Augustus. Indeed, this is a rare occassion, when the Imperator HIMSELF speaks to condemned prisoners.

Imperator: You have been condemned for the heresy of Oneness Pentacostalism. You, my friends, would crucify the Father, have the Son proceed, and have the Holy Spirit beget a Son. This is a most vile, pernicious heresy, and the penalty for you all is death. Yet, heretics, rejoice...for today is a most glorious day for Rome...yes...for today, Rome enters into a nuclear era.

And then, all goes blinding white...and the prisoners do not even have time to scream, for the canister, and all of the prisoners, are immediately incinerated.

IC:

Official statement from the Roman Government for International Press release:

Today, the Roman Empire has acheived nuclear capacities. Today, a nuclear weapon has been tested, and She is proud to announce that all has gone well. That is all.

Sextus Augustus
Imperator of Rome

Congratulations.

Instead of having to produce your own first bombs, we will send some to you.
2 10kt bombs
2 20kt bombs
10 300kt bombs
1 1mt bomb.

Radio Program, Father Sean Fitzgerald

...I would like to remind the world that the nation that murders those of other faiths and has brought back the inquisition now has nuclear capabilities. A supposed Catholic nation should never have these weapons of war, indeed, weapons that go beyond war and slaughter civilians. I would also like to take this time to denounce my own country for having these weapons...

A supposed Catholic nation should never have these weapons of war, indeed, weapons that go beyond war and slaughter civilians.

What about France?

OOC: Nice original test :)

Also if it's semi-secret does it mean that someone could accidentally stumble on how you tested the device?
IC:

Official Londim Communique

To Rome,

Congratulations on your successful test and wish you luck for further development.

Signed,

The Four

SIC:

"Just what we need." said Klallam, "Another nuclear capable nation that we'll have to watch out for." This was directed to Londim's Defence Advisor, Jahner.

"It's also strange that we have not collected any readings of such a test in unhabited lands and it seems it would be foolhardy to test anywhere else. Something about this doesn't feel right.", replied Jahner.

Emperor Kaozu Tsugaishi stood in silence, looking out of a window of the Imperial Palace. It was a sad day for him. Another power-hungry nation had attained the ability to use nuclear weapons. As was the traditional thought of Akodai, man-made devices that harmed the natural environment in a serious way were considered a threat and outlawed by the Empire. Yet, that did not stop others from creating more of these horrific destructive devices. The emperor sighed deeply.

Ara Kuenzan, high advisor of the imperial court, approached the aged monarch. He too had heard that Gens Romae had obtained nuclear weaponry. "I see you've heard the bad news, my lord."

Tsugaishi sighed again. "The world is coming to an end," he muttered. "Another nuclear arsenal, another opportunity to destroy all we love. When will it stop?"

"Maybe it's not too late," the advisor suggested. "It may be possible to convince Rome to disarm. Stop them from going down the slippery slope."

"That could be." The Emperor turned around. "Alright then, have a telegram sent to the Imperator of Rome. Tell him that I request an audience to discuss their obtainment of nuclear weapons. If all goes well, it may end with their disarmament."

"At once Emperor." Advisor Kuenzan turned and left to have a secretary draft a telegram for Rome. Emperor Tsugaishi turned back to the window and stared out at his beloved land. He hoped it could be spared one day the horror of nuclear attack.

OOC: Nice original test :)

Also if it's semi-secret does it mean that someone could accidentally stumble on how you tested the device?


OOC: Er...secret insofar as, depending on the sensitivity of your scientific instruments, you could tell THAT a test occured, just now HOW the test occured. Do you see what I am saying?

Open Declaration of Sumerian Intentions

While we would normally congragulate those nations who wish to defend themselves for their development of such weapons, we can not in good faith congragulate such a barbaric and backwards nation as is Rome for this.
Instead I pray to the gods that your nation sees the light of your wrongdoings before you take steps from which there will be no return, before it is too late for your people.

- Head of State, Dictator of Sumer, Priestess of Inanna,
Ridingir Kisikil Dumumiapuabiak Dumuaninatumak Urukak Leshbarkingdu Kalamak Ninuru

Signed: Kisikil Ninatuma

IC:

In Rome, a new industry has sprung up...almost over night, since the objection of Fr. Fitzgerald. Indeed, in the Eternal City, there rises up a vast skyscraper, with a great sign "Fitzgeraldsucks Inc."

Indeed, if one were to go to the company's website, this person would find lots and lots of anti Fitzgerald inventory, including but not limited to T-shirts, on the back depicting Fr. Fitzgerald....in a dress. The front of the T-shirt bears the phrase "Is this your pastor?"

Indeed, shirts and other merchandise such as this has become quite popular among the Romans...

Fr. Fitzgerald did not comment on the new clothing line, pther than calling it childish. However, when the King of Cherry Ridge was asked if the crown would take any action he responded, "No, everyone must have their fantasies. If the 'Romans' enjoy the image of a man in a dress, well, I suppose they are entitled to that." He laughed, and walked off camera.

The United Commonwealth of Bredford has gone in official message to the public:

"The United Commonwealth of Bredford has completed its nuclear plan, and it annouces it has two nuclear-reactors south of Bredford city for energy-producing and research proposes.

we can also announce that our nuclear experiment in the Pernu isle has succeeded, and we have managed to operate succesfuly one 20 kiloton bomb from a B-2 Nightrider plane.

we have decided to construct three small experimental bombs of 2 Kiloton power, in order to further test.

from tommorow all the electrical needs of Bredford city shall be supplemented by those reactors, as we prepare to move the entire country into nuclear energy source."

Official Communication
To: Rome
From: The Mighty Blub Colony

Body
WE HAVE RECIEVED WORD OF YOUR RECENT TESTING OF WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION UPON HUMAN BEINGS [STOP]


OOC: And you'd know this...how?

Official Communication
To: Rome
From: The Mighty Blub Colony

Body
WE HAVE RECIEVED WORD OF YOUR RECENT TESTING OF WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION UPON HUMAN BEINGS [STOP] WE ARE MOST DISPLEASED AND ARE CURRENTLY HOLDING AN EMERGENCY SESSION OF THE JOINT CHIEFS TO MAKE A DECISION AS TO A PROPER POLITICAL RESPONSE [STOP] THE BLUBLAND COLONY IS OBLIGATED TO DEFEND CIVILIANS EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT FROM BLUBLAND ITSELF [STOP]

(WE) STRONGLY URGE IMMEDIATE CEASATION OF TESTING AND DEVELOPMENT AND A COMPLETE HALT OF MILITARY BUILDUP AND OR WARTIME PRODUCTION [STOP] FURTHER USAGE OF WMDS WILL RESULT IN STANDARD REPRISAL AND ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL SANCTIONS [STOP] ALSO ACCEPTANCE OF WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL PROLIFERATION POLICIES WILL FIND ROME IN CONCEMPT OF THIS CEASE ORDER [STOP]

OOC: Er...secret insofar as, depending on the sensitivity of your scientific instruments, you could tell THAT a test occured, just now HOW the test occured. Do you see what I am saying?

OOC: Given that the blast was contained to a small area it would probably show up on seismic instruments, but that's about it.

IC:

We commend our ally in the Corporate Alliance for their successful test. We gain ground daily thanks to nations like you.

~Dr. Jules Hodz

[ Guys.

There's no way for you to know what happened inside a top-secret facility, especially not without roleplaying out how your spy got in there in the first place.

The most you could do is notice a handful of people were gone, but I highly doubt that. ]

OOC: Did you see that I gave you nukes?

OOC: In case you were wondering, my last post was supposed to imply that I had sent a telegram. Will you respond?

A Bunker
The Suburbs of Arcadia, Steel and Fire

"So someone else goes nuclear?"

"Indeed, that's what their announcement said. We were kinda surprised though...."

"You were? Why, was it a high-yield nuclear device?"

"No, not that. Well, you know The Director, he likes to keep records of these things, so we immediately took a look at the sat shots to figure out where they'd done it."

"Ah."

"We scanned all the uninhabited areas and everything else of note.... anywhere they could have done a nuclear test. Nothing—even if they'd done it underground, there weren't any of the telltale signs. No fallout, no crater, no heat left behind in the atmosphere, no dust, et cetera."

"That's weird. Were they bluffing?"

"Not in the slightest. We figured out where they did it in the end—but the odd thing was, it looked like it was inside a building."

"Inside a building? Are they crazy?"

"Apparently not. The building's still standing, and I'm guessing the techs got NBC suits, but still. Why would you test a nuke inside a building?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I asked. Does it contain the radiation?"

"Not really. It still spreads into the atmosphere, it just takes a bit longer."

"So then, what possible advantage could it have?"

"Maybe they wanted to keep their nuclear test a secret from their own populace, but felt safe informing the international community?"

"That's.... fucked up."

"Well, other countries commonly are."

Even if Intel could, by some miracle, discover the truth, it was highly likely it would never do anything. "Knowledge for knowledge's sake" was its motto, except when that was superseded by "Knowledge for power's sake". And there was really not too much at stake here, anyway. It was just some barely-known foreign nation miles from Steel and Fire's verdant shores, anyway.

[OOC: You know, it's been a while since I cracked out the good 'ol form letter. Let's not flood I.I. with copies, though, or else the mods might crack down.]

Form Letter from the Department of State, Sub-Department of Form Letters, Sub-Sub-Department of Humorous and Hostile Form Letters, Sub-Sub-Sub-Department of We Don't Give a Damn

(Check all that apply)

Dear:

[ ] President
[ ] Prime Minister
[ ] King/Queen
[ ] Maniacal Dictator
[ ] Reasonable Leader
[X] Twit With Guns
[ ] CEO/Board Chairman
[X] Religious Dudes

Congratulations on your:

[X] New weapon
[X] WMD proliferation
[ ] First satellite launch
[ ] Imperialist expansion
[X] Prelude to ethnic cleansing attempt
[ ] Prelude to future terrorist attacks
[ ] Superb display of complete idiocy
[X] Success in tying your shoelaces

We would protest more, but:

[ ] That wouldn't be enough, so we protest vehemently
[ ] We're actually happy for you
[ ] We might buy weapons from you
[X] Ours is bigger
[ ] We've done worse
[X] You are a tiny nation with no influence
[X] You have insulted/threatened other nations who will destroy you for us
[X] We honestly couldn't care less
[X] "Family Guy" is on

Therefore, we have decided to:

[ ] Declare war
[ ] Impose a trade embargo
[X] Go about forgetting that you ever existed
[X] Sit back and laugh as you are annihilated
[ ] Offer to buy your nukes at $1 million per kiloton
[ ] Offer weapons to your enemies
[ ] Send a tactical fruit basket
[ ] Send a tactical nuclear weapon disguised as a fruit basket
[ ] Buy weapons from you

In closing, we hope you:

[X] Have a nice day
[ ] Find eternal peace
[X] Fall on a pike
[X] Know what the hell you're doing
[ ] Enjoy being incinerated by aforementioned tactical nuclear weapon
[X] Accidentally bomb yourself
[ ] Burn in the fiery depths of hell
[X] Die an ironic death
[ ] Choke on a pretzel

[OOC: You know, it's been a while since I cracked out the good 'ol form letter. Let's not flood I.I. with copies, though, or else the mods might crack down.]

Form Letter from the Department of State, Sub-Department of Form Letters, Sub-Sub-Department of Humorous and Hostile Form Letters, Sub-Sub-Sub-Department of We Don't Give a Damn

(Check all that apply)

Dear:

[ ] President
[ ] Prime Minister
[ ] King/Queen
[ ] Maniacal Dictator
[ ] Reasonable Leader
[X] Twit With Guns
[ ] CEO/Board Chairman
[X] Religious Dudes

Congratulations on your:

[X] New weapon
[X] WMD proliferation
[ ] First satellite launch
[ ] Imperialist expansion
[X] Prelude to ethnic cleansing attempt
[ ] Prelude to future terrorist attacks
[ ] Superb display of complete idiocy
[X] Success in tying your shoelaces

We would protest more, but:

[ ] That wouldn't be enough, so we protest vehemently
[ ] We're actually happy for you
[ ] We might buy weapons from you
[X] Ours is bigger
[ ] We've done worse
[X] You are a tiny nation with no influence
[X] You have insulted/threatened other nations who will destroy you for us
[X] We honestly couldn't care less
[X] "Family Guy" is on

Therefore, we have decided to:

[ ] Declare war
[ ] Impose a trade embargo
[X] Go about forgetting that you ever existed
[X] Sit back and laugh as you are annihilated
[ ] Offer to buy your nukes at $1 million per kiloton
[ ] Offer weapons to your enemies
[ ] Send a tactical fruit basket
[ ] Send a tactical nuclear weapon disguised as a fruit basket
[ ] Buy weapons from you

In closing, we hope you:

[X] Have a nice day
[ ] Find eternal peace
[X] Fall on a pike
[X] Know what the hell you're doing
[ ] Enjoy being incinerated by aforementioned tactical nuclear weapon
[X] Accidentally bomb yourself
[ ] Burn in the fiery depths of hell
[X] Die an ironic death
[ ] Choke on a pretzel

You win International Incidents.

You win International Incidents.

QFT.

You win International Incidents.

[OOC: Well, I appreciate the siggable quote, but I have to confess that is a modified version of a post my good friend Leafanistan made a couple years back. So, unfortunately, I can't take credit for its originality, but I appreciate the sentiment anyways. And now I'll stop my threadjacking.]

Encrypted Telegram to Urcea:

Rome thanks you for your offer of Nuclear weapons, but would rather produce her own. Rest assured, however, that there will be punch and pie for all.

Sextus Augustus
Imperator of Rome

QFT.

Agreed.

Encrypted Telegram to Akodai:

Oh weak and puny nation, the only talks we might have are over our annexation of your tiny country. Rome scoffs at you. Hahaha.

Billy Boy Rodgers
Some minor official

The Imperial Empire of Maldorians applauds the act of the people of Gens Romae. This is one step in becoming a world power.

-The Mandalore.
Supreme Ruler of Maldorians.

Encrypted Message from The Revolutionary Government of the Glorious Republic of Leafanistan

While this incident doesn't concern us much, we'd like to remind you that you have qualified for nuclear weapons from our storefront for years.

We'd just like you to know that.

[END]

http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/6107/foreignaffairsuploadablku2.png

Congratulations on your puny warhead. Should we decide to hold a nuclear weaponry test demonstration anytime soon, we'll invite you along, to see what a real weapon looks like.

Pan-Arab Barronian Foreign Affairs

http://img393.imageshack.us/img393/2306/rsplbada2sc0.jpg

Official Communiqué

Open Declaration:

Congratulations on the construction of your first nuclear warhead. Please do not make the mistake of thinking you will be listened to any more simply because you have a nuclear bomb.

The thirty-thousand-warhead strong Londinian nuclear arsenal will be watching Gens Romæ carefully.

Sincerely,
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z259/pertinax201/siralistairdavidsonsig.jpg
The Rt. Hon. Sir Alistair Davidson, MP
Consul of British Londinium

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Official Communiqué

Dear leaders of Rome,

You are all idiots. We hope you drop the warhead on yourselves and save everyone else the bother.

You crazy capitalists, you...

~Galan Mckay
First Minister, New Pictish Parliament, Inverness

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/themaskednudist/nationstates/LorkhanFlag2.jpg
Official Deceleration of the Nationalist Republic

From: The Office of the Grand Nasier, Järten Prime
To: The Holy Empire of Gens Romae

The Nationalist Republic of Lorkhan applauds you and your scientists for becoming a nuclear offensive state. Now, you join the elite in military technology and have the power to destroy entire armies with the push of a button.

Sadly, we as a nation can not credit you with an ounce of respect or dignify your military men and women by giving them the long standing honor that comes with the title of a warrior. Perhaps if you invested as much time and money into building a killing machine of a man you would not feel the need for a man to build a killing machine.

Pathetic.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/themaskednudist/nationstates/valias2.jpg
High Lord Tiber Valias,
Grand Nasier (Champion) of Lorkhan