Xenofungus
31-07-2007, 02:45
Svlad Cjelli, a world-renowned author and social activist, was found dead in his Xenofungian home today. His body was found this morning in the basement after a neighbor complained about a noise coming from the house. Svlad, also known as Dirk Gently, was a great supporter of social equality and was know for never holding back his opinions on the matter.
When the police entered the home, they found the source of the noise was coming from downstairs, behind a locked door. After forcing the door in, they found the body of Mr. Gently sitting in a chair, with a cup of hot coffee sitting on the table next to it. The body was facing away from the door, toward a phonograph that was emitting the offensive noise, with Mr. Gently's head resting in the center of the turntable. His head caused the needle to become stuck in a groove, repeating a verse of a song which, according to official reports, was something along the lines of "Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick it… Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick it…"
The official report claims that the death was a suicide, due to the fact that all entrances and exits were securely closed and locked from the inside. However, this explanation has been scoffed by several conspiracy theorists who believe that he was murdered by an anti-liberal group organized in foreign shores. This theory is also bolstered by the fact that investigation showed that there was severe corruption in the local police department.
There is one supposed witness who says she saw a large man, around 2.5 meters tall, in a black cloak with bright green eyes and a large scythe. If any countries have any information regarding this event, please inform us so we can put this case to rest.
When the police entered the home, they found the source of the noise was coming from downstairs, behind a locked door. After forcing the door in, they found the body of Mr. Gently sitting in a chair, with a cup of hot coffee sitting on the table next to it. The body was facing away from the door, toward a phonograph that was emitting the offensive noise, with Mr. Gently's head resting in the center of the turntable. His head caused the needle to become stuck in a groove, repeating a verse of a song which, according to official reports, was something along the lines of "Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick it… Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick it…"
The official report claims that the death was a suicide, due to the fact that all entrances and exits were securely closed and locked from the inside. However, this explanation has been scoffed by several conspiracy theorists who believe that he was murdered by an anti-liberal group organized in foreign shores. This theory is also bolstered by the fact that investigation showed that there was severe corruption in the local police department.
There is one supposed witness who says she saw a large man, around 2.5 meters tall, in a black cloak with bright green eyes and a large scythe. If any countries have any information regarding this event, please inform us so we can put this case to rest.