NationStates Jolt Archive

The peaceful nation of FFI had been threatend by the evil nazi empire of Tocrowkia when all they were looking for friends. And so general Washington of the FFI military forces decided that they would have to go to war with the evil nazi empire in order to presever their freedom in the face of that menace.

200 B-52 bombers were sent to the tocrowkian mainland each loaded with nuclear missiles in order to wipe them out once and for all

OOC: How do you load nuclear missiles on a B-52?

Also, this has my name written all over it. However, for courtesy, I'll stay out.

Khartoum, Human Order HQ

"Mother of God..."

~Commissar Davis on hearing of Fuzzies flying bombers

OOC: Probably meant warheads. Damn it, FFI, it's like you're begging to be defeated, occupied, and absorbed into Tocrowkia. Have fun.

Khartoum, Human Order HQ

"Mother of God..."

~Commissar Davis on hearing of Fuzzies flying bombers

"DOUBLE NO!"

General Rio Miracula after being informed that a rickity old fleet of bombers filled with nuclear warheads was being piloted by men in fursuits.

"Usa People Gonna Die"

Offical Binarian Response

Animal Dudes,

I am glad you did not join our alliance. You would have surely gotten us allianilated in a large scale war actings so irresponsibly. Why there is still time for your people I hope you call off those bombers.

Sincerely,
FreeDemGov

To be serious, you don't have enough of a budget to support nuclear bombs, nor missiles, nor any nukes of any kind unless someone gave them to you. You also lack the budget to rally even 10 bombers of that size, much less send them against someone.

OOC:Leaf, let him try, it shall amuse me... Plus then I may even be able to get my hands on some lands...

GLACORP offers to test its new Star Blenders on FFI instead of Tocrowkia. Of course, that would mean the destruction of the entire planet, but thats fine with us, really. Its not as if its a very NICE planet anyway, what with all the nukings going on.

OOC: I call an isle!

IC:

The Free Empire of New Vantania demands that the scum grouping that dares call itself a nation, when a more appropriate term would be terrorist organization, known as Free Furry Islands surrender to the rightful coalition of God's Will, ceding the majority of your land to Tocrowkia, whom you have sacrificed your... lives to. If you do this and do not rebel then maybe, just maybe, your people wouln't be killed for their seamless fur coats.

ooc- FFI, WTF, I wanted to be nice with you now this?

Why are you doing this, I thought you had potential.

((OOC: From a technical standpoint, I doubt your nation has enough money build and maintain such a large fleet of Strategic bombers, much less enough to load them all with nuclear weapons. You do know the generally accepted rule is that no nation under 100 million pop can produce nuclear arms, right? But hey, you caught me in a good mood. I'll humor you.))

Tocrowkian Early Warning RADAR station,
Northern Atlantic Ocean, 3:12 AM

Everything was quite normal and typical on the small island that made up the Tocrowkian outpost. Having a small force of just over 5,000 soldiers and assorted staff. The outpost was a fairly boring one to be stationed in, as the Reich had not experienced a true threat in the area of the Northern Atlantic ocean for quite some time.

And so, the three RADAR operators, two teenage boys and a girl were understandably bored with their nightly duty and chose to occupy themselves with a seemingly more entertaining activity. All three of them sat around a small table, one of the males with his feet on the table and a cigar in his mouth. The other had a bottle, clearly an alcoholic beverage in his hand and took liberal gulps of it every few seconds. Both males had their service jackets off off, leaving them bare chested. The girl on the other hand had been reduced to her bra. And all three had a series of cards in their hands.

"Haha, full house biyatch!" One of the guys shouted in joy, slamming his cards down to prove his hand. The other cursed and threw his down in anger. "Fucking god damnit, Johan! You're cheating!" He growled, looking at the other man.

"Hey, fuck you Rulf! How the hell could I be cheating? I don't have anywhere to even hide the fucking cards!" He flipped Rulf the bird, and put his feet back on the floor, eagerly looking to the female soldier. "What about you, Alicia? What do you have?" He asked with a cheeky grin.

The girl, now identified as Alicia gave an large sigh and placed her cards on the table, revealing quite a poor hand. Both the men laughed. "Alriiiiiight! You know what that means!" Johan snickered. Rulf whistled obscenely in response.

"Hey, fuck you guys!" Alicia yelled, but knew it was useless. She sighed and began to unstrap her bra, making a promise to shoot both of these morons if they ever found themselves in a battle together. That's when the loud, blaring alarm rang through out the room, signaling the RADAR had picked up an unidentified signal. Both men cursed obscenity's as they quickly dressed while Alicia sighed in relief as she was, quite literally, saved by the bell.

All three went over to the console and noticed a huge signal, heading straight toward the Tocrowkian mainland. "Holy shit!" Rulf commented, leaning in to examine it closer. "Bombers! Large ones, and alot of them! In the hundreds!"

"Holy shit! Game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now?" Johan yelled, starting to pace frantically back and fourth. "Well..." Alicia cut in. "We could do the standard procedure, which is to scramble fighters and intercept the threat..."

"Oh yeah..." Johan replied, stopping in his tracks. "

"Glad I thought of it."

Within ten minutes, the pilots were alerted to the threat. Seventy aircraft, air superiority bombers were sent as the tip of the spear while thirty more followed closely behind them. Intercepting a large force of bombers, who had no fighter escort to think of would be a relatively easy task...

For the record, New Brittonia has an embassy at FFI. At all possible, please avoid the strategic bombing of the embassy. It is out sovereign territory and it is relatively new so we really like it.

To be serious, you don't have enough of a budget to support nuclear bombs, nor missiles, nor any nukes of any kind unless someone gave them to you. You also lack the budget to rally even 10 bombers of that size, much less send them against someone.

OOC: Would anyone be pissed off if I "gave" him the money and the like to do it? Just to watch this play out. I do have a defense budget of 67 bil.

Edit: Holy crap, 100 percent of his funds go to administration. He has nothing going to anything else. He has a defense budget of...nothing.

"In other news, the relatively nonchalant state of Free Furry Islands suddenly vanished off the map, as the Imperial Cartography Institute held its celebrated convention in a hotel. Suspicious details of a giant fleet of nuclear-laden bombers prompted the inquiry, after which cartographers found that the area formerly labeled "FFI" was merged into the deep blue sea. More updates as they come from MBC International News....A child pornography case looms as Imperial investigators check out sources that illicit communist groups are trying to subvert the nation's youth. More after the weather break..."

(ooc: in my books, this thread no longer exists...)

OOC: Would anyone be pissed off if I "gave" him the money and the like to do it? Just to watch this play out. I do have a defense budget of 67 bil.

Edit: Holy crap, 100 percent of his funds go to administration. He has nothing going to anything else. He has a defense budget of...nothing.

OOC: Christ, I was just working off the joindate but Sunset gives me 100% Administration at only $14,013,640,439. His nation is administration only, my guess is only the capital is under his government's control and the rest is some sort of wild outback controlled by warlords.

4 F/A-11 imperiators flew up beside the lead FFI bomber "turn around for the sake of your people, we demand it!" yelled one of the pilots, firing a warning shot across the plane "you have 30 seconds"

"All fucking furries must fucking hang."

-Emperor William Kennedy upon hearing that there was a nation of furries in existence.

"All fucking furries must fucking hang."

-Emperor William Kennedy upon hearing that there was a nation of furries in existence.

OOC: God this thread is giving me major Full Metal Jacket flashbacks. Guess who we should let play the Indians?

Is anyone going to offer real advice to FFI?

Yeah since you yahoos won't

FFI - please read the stickies, lurk a few weeks and ask those sympathetic to you lots of questions via TGs ( and keep independant copies of the TG's you send so you can remember what you asked.). Jumping right in may look like fun, but it's the hardest way to learn.

Tocrowkia, Wilhelmsboroughand others that may or may not really have problems with furries, or unlearned newbies, step back, and let the newbie get his feet under him. If you have a problem with furries, stay the heck out of such threads.

additional advice - take giood advice and ignore bad advice

don't get up all in arms over verbal insults or put downs, you are just letting yourself be manipulated - and while stick and stones and thermonucelar bombs may hurt you words are just water off a ducks back.

if people have a problem with your nation, policies, politics, religion, society, etc, just ignore them, they aren't really worth wasting your time over.

Untill you know more about the game, don't attack others. Defending yourself is cool and many will come to the aid of a newbie who gets picked on by bullies...and if some nations here can't figure out who I am refering to just tg me and I'll explain in private.

Every one else why don't you remember you too were a new comer once and offer the same helpful advice you wish you had gotten.

Yeah since you yahoos won't

FFI - please read the stickies, lurk a few weeks and ask those sympathetic to you lots of questions via TGs ( and keep independant copies of the TG's you send so you can remember what you asked.). Jumping right in may look like fun, but it's the hardest way to learn.

Tocrowkia, Wilhelmsboroughand others that may or may not really have problems with furries, or unlearned newbies, step back, and let the newbie get his feet under him. If you have a problem with furries, stay the heck out of such threads.

((OOC: Rather or not I have issues with furs in real life has no meaning on what is going on here, honestly. I am replying how I would if anybody, and I mean anybody, tried to n00k me))

I know you are Tocrowkia - in this thread - I was more addressing your posts in the FFI's intro thread that resulted in this thread.

Agreed that FFI went over board, but obviously he felt pushed enough into a corner to react as he did ( ie this thread )

- Ashbury, Jimanistan (Chairman's office, in the inner city)

"What the hell is it this time, Jerkov? It better not be another stupid
briefing about those terrorists... Can't we just just kill some of those sadistic freaks, I mea-"

"No Chairman. It's not another Early Morning Terrorist Briefing (EMTB).
Here, look at this"
Demostratskiy's advisor handed him a thin white-yellow file, stamped
with the word "CLASSIFIED".

"Jesus Christ!" The Chairman shouted near the top of his lungs,
"Are you serious?"

"I'm afraid so, sir. Should we take action?"

"I'm tired... I need a few hours to think. In the morning we'll pass the
news to the T.V. station. You're dismissed, Comrade."

"Yes Sir." replied Jerkov, as he quietly spirited out of the room.

OOC: I want an island too! :(

IC: "What!" The president fell off of his chair in laughter. As the chair crashed to the floor in a loud smack sound. The president hit his head on the desk and passed.

======================

"Whu, What happened?"

"Sir, you fell down and hit your head while reading about FFI"

The president started with a slight crackle and it worked up to a hysterical laugh, the hospital bed rocked and the laughter echoed down the hallway.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. Those idiots. (hewent back to a giggle here) are threatening Tocrowkia with nukes. HA! Screw what Tanaara said, we are getting a colony!"

I know you are Tocrowkia - in this thread - I was more addressing your posts in the FFI's intro thread that resulted in this thread.

Agreed that FFI went over board, but obviously he felt pushed enough into a corner to react as he did ( ie this thread )

I wonder if FFI is gonna go on again?

To the Cazelia fighters the furs piloting the B-52's said "no! we must protect our freedom and this is the only way to do it!" and ignored them. meanwhile the RADARS on the B-52s detected the torchiwikan fighters and then fired some gatling guns at them.

The Tocrowkian Fighters easily dodged the Gatling gun fire, and simply locked on with their missiles, each fighter targeting six bombers, the equivalents of their missile payload and fired. Due to simple psychics, there was no doubt the bomber formation would be annihilated in the onslaught. That was, unless there was some UBER-secret countermeasure of doom available to the furries.

To the Cazelia fighters the furs piloting the B-52's said "no! we must protect our freedom and this is the only way to do it!" and ignored them. meanwhile the RADARS on the B-52s detected the torchiwikan fighters and then fired some gatling guns at them.

ooc- B52's don't even have gats

ooc- B52's don't even have gats

OOC: Rear guns.

Yeah since you yahoos won't

FFI - please read the stickies, lurk a few weeks and ask those sympathetic to you lots of questions via TGs ( and keep independant copies of the TG's you send so you can remember what you asked.). Jumping right in may look like fun, but it's the hardest way to learn.

Tocrowkia, Wilhelmsboroughand others that may or may not really have problems with furries, or unlearned newbies, step back, and let the newbie get his feet under him. If you have a problem with furries, stay the heck out of such threads.

additional advice - take giood advice and ignore bad advice

don't get up all in arms over verbal insults or put downs, you are just letting yourself be manipulated - and while stick and stones and thermonucelar bombs may hurt you words are just water off a ducks back.

if people have a problem with your nation, policies, politics, religion, society, etc, just ignore them, they aren't really worth wasting your time over.

Untill you know more about the game, don't attack others. Defending yourself is cool and many will come to the aid of a newbie who gets picked on by bullies...and if some nations here can't figure out who I am refering to just tg me and I'll explain in private.

Every one else why don't you remember you too were a new comer once and offer the same helpful advice you wish you had gotten.

Do what these people say

To the Cazelia fighters the furs piloting the B-52's said "no! we must protect our freedom and this is the only way to do it!" and ignored them. meanwhile the RADARS on the B-52s detected the torchiwikan fighters and then fired some gatling guns at them.

the Cazelian fighters were joined by an entire squadron of F/A-11 and F-18 fighters. they locked on to both sides "both teams-stand down now! we do not want another small nation wiped out..." they again strafed the FFI bombers "we are ordering you to back down or we will fire!"

Urcea laughs and decides to stay out of it. We've owned enough newer nations.

The United Socialist States of New Brittonia, with its long-standing tradition of neutrality in armed conflicts, would like to mediate the Free Furry Islands Conflict, also known as the Furry War, in the New Brittonian capital of Epsom in order to end this violence and aggression.

the Cazelian fighters were joined by an entire squadron of F/A-11 and F-18 fighters. they locked on to both sides "both teams-stand down now! we do not want another small nation wiped out..." they again strafed the FFI bombers "we are ordering you to back down or we will fire!"

A simple message was transmitted back:

"Hey, assclowns! These idiots violated Tocrowkian airspace, something you are doing as well, by the way. We have every right to shoot them down, and if you don't clear the hell out of here right now, we will take this as an act of war on the Tocrowkian Reich!"

"we are tying to avoid a nuclear war, sir. we request your permission to fire upon the FFI aircraft before they reach their targets"

An awkward "..." style silence followed, before the same pilot replied.

"Well, why didn't you say so? Go right ahead then. Have a field day. But you have no right to tell us to stand down in our own airspace."

A simple message was transmitted back:

"Hey, assclowns! These idiots violated Tocrowkian airspace, something you are doing as well, by the way. We have every right to shoot them down, and if you don't clear the hell out of here right now, we will take this as an act of war on the Tocrowkian Reich!"

"we are tying to avoid a nuclear war, sir. we request your permission to fire upon the FFI aircraft before they reach their targets"

New Brittonia is also sending three hospital ships to FFI with over 1200 beds each, to prepare for the possibility of conflict, which we still hope does not happen.

http://www.shipcamouflage.com/images/hospital_ship.jpg
http://www.shipcamouflage.com/images/hospital_ship.jpg

OOC: Probably meant warheads. Damn it, FFI, it's like you're begging to be defeated, occupied, and absorbed into Tocrowkia. Have fun.

OOC: Do I need to provide links to a variety of nuclear missiles that can be mounted on stratbombers? Do you need NS or RL designs? FFI, what is your nation's political structure like, apart from, obviously, being furry?

Khartoum, Human Order HQ

"Mother of God..."

~Commissar Davis on hearing of Fuzzies flying bombers


"Do you see anything wrong with furries in the military, Commissar?"

Brigadier-General Michael S. Farris, Furry Airborne Division

Official Allanean Announcement

We are happy to see that there is another nation where furries are treated with the respect and dignity that they so richly deserve. We are also currently at war with the evil Questarian Commonwealth, and will happily befriend the furries.

Official Allanean message to Tocrowkia

Funny how you wage war on a nation of furs with only 8 million people in it, and are afraid to wage war against a nation with 9.036 billion people, that respects furs, even though you're kind of supposed to be waging war on us, if only due to your duties to your masters in Questaria. Perhaps this is because the Tocrowkians are bullies at heart.

The President of the Cevnian Federation read his response to the events involving the Free Furry Islands:

"In the interest of national security, the Cevnian Federation hereby declares that any use of nuclear weapons on any nation by the FFI will be considered an act of war! Any attack on the sovereign Liberal Neo-Imperial Reich of Tocrowkia will result in a full military assault on the nation of Free Furry Islands. I would also like to thank the leader of Tocrowkia for exercising restraint in this matter. That is all." he walked quickly off the platform, the flashes of the cameras lighting up his face. He was stopped by the Minister of Defense.

"Mr. President, the Federal Navy cannot move enough military assets to take and hold the FFI...we only have twenty-two ships. Fourteen of which are obselete and scheduled to be scrapped."

"Yes, I know. My statement was to make it perfectly clear that I will tolerate meaningless warfare on my nations doorstep. I believe I am right in assuming that with so many nations against it: the FFI will either recall its bombers or surrender and be absorbed into the Tocrowkian Reich. Our military 'assets' will not be needed if Tocrowkia decides to attack, and if they requested our help-it wouldn't make much of a difference...our military personel, in total, is only 16,850. And only when we are on full alert..."

Official Allanean Announcement

We are happy to see that there is another nation where furries are treated with the respect and dignity that they so richly deserve. We are also currently at war with the evil Questarian Commonwealth, and will happily befriend the furries.

Official Allanean message to Tocrowkia

Funny how you wage war on a nation of furs with only 8 million people in it, and are afraid to wage war against a nation with 9.036 billion people, that respects furs, even though you're kind of supposed to be waging war on us, if only due to your duties to your masters in Questaria. Perhaps this is because the Tocrowkians are bullies at heart.

It has more to do with the fact we have no interest in catching some vile decease from the Allanean people than your nations size.

-Reich Foreign Ministyr-

Ya know I stepped in simply to make some suggestions to a newbie and here you go ignoring my advice, and making all hostile...

Greston..."HA! Screw what Tanaara said, we are getting a colony."

Your population is currently 714 million ...

Mine is 5.126 billion

Don't pass go, don't grab a colony and avoid a war how about?