NationStates Jolt Archive

Lord Wartom of The Dominion of Wartom Declares War On World

I, Wartom, declare war on EVERY nation in the world, no matter what their views or arms are. My nation may have absolutely NO guns OR soldiers, but we nevertheless declare war-on-world. Everyone standing in our way shal fall since they are in war against uss as well. NO ONE can join me in the war against the world since I am in war with YES YOU! YOU THERE! AND YOU!
You shall all feel the might of WARTOM!!!:mad::eek:

FOR THE SONG OF THE LUTE AND STMBALS! PREVAIL!:mad:

TO: ALL GOVERMENTS OF THE WORLD
FROM: NC

Even though we have differnt views, we should crush him like a dam bug, im going split him.

From: Wartom
To: Every Computer In The World

HELLO PUNY MAN OF NOT-WARTOM`S DOMINION! PREPARE TO BE IN ONE WITH ETERNITY! I SHAL PURGE YOUR GOVERNMENT WITH THE MEANS OF CONCENTRATED ORANGE JUICE AND A PIECE OF HAM!

Prevail, puny nations of the world.... and other planets.... when we get the space program up and running... if we ever...

Would anybody have an objection if I used their government officials for training my snipers?

We can supply you with weapons at a very low price

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=12815236#post12815236

TO: ALL GOVERMENTS OF THE WORLD
FROM: NC

Even though we have differnt views, we should crush him like a dam bug, im going split him.

You do realize this is some sort of stupid joke, right? Everyone knows that real n00bs type something like:


We declar w4r on teh ent1r3 wolrd! OuR uN5t0ppable 4rmy c4n PWN any nation. B0w d0wn t0 T3h ultamite Rul3r!11!1

:sniper: :mp5:

And don't forget the gun smileys... No real n00b would ever dare to even think about not using gun smileys...

Do as you please. I have no officials except myself! My advisors are easily replaced althoug I am no dictator. Chosen by my goodwilled people. Nevertheless... I shal NOT be assasinated even thoug I dont have ANY guards!

OOC: Its no joke... I am trying to RP a nation here!!! Bear with me please...

Dear God, not another one of these "I'muberkickworldsass" start up nations!
On the plus side, several million units of target practice...
or I could test my new WMD...
Or I could just walk right in and kill everyone, creating a new colony for Xiscapia...
So many ways, so little time.

i will join you xscipia,lets split him, i will come from the north and you got the south.

yur right what ever and as if you can get into every Computer in the world

The military of NC began preparing for an invasion, the people navy was headed to blockade wartom.

World News

The Kingdom of Wartom was today invaded by a giga-zillion of space-ships, soldiers, ships, airplanes, clones and tanks. Its little left on the nation now, and The Lord... Wartom as he is called.. has been killed in the action. The Nation is only dust, but is trying to rebuild as the troops are leaving the country. We are interviewing Jhon here who has researched on Warom`s Dominion. So Jhon Willy, are the war over?

Jhon: "Well.. pretty much. But the people of The Dominion always belive that Wartom is reincarnated into another insane person they find in the insanity hospital. Thats the way of things there."

Reporter: "Thank you. And now I shoot you for no reason goodbye."

*pow. Jhon screams and falls bloody to the floor*

That was all for today! Next News 12`o clock. Good night everybody.

Do as you please. I have no officials except myself! My advisors are easily replaced althoug I am no dictator. Chosen by my goodwilled people. Nevertheless... I shal NOT be assasinated even thoug I dont have ANY guards!

OOC: Its no joke... I am trying to RP a nation here!!! Bear with me please...

To bad only one target to eliminate and the war will be over. I was hoping to train at least 10-15 elite snipers but with the deficit of targets I might not even get one.:(

I don't really want to kill innocent civilians and he has no army to speak of.

On another note All refugees who wish for a chance at a better life are welcome in The Empire of Lord Raug.

OOC: awww man, the war's over already? I was hoping to draft a provisional army and kick his ass, it's not very often that such an easy target comes along.

You state that your nation has no soldiers or weapons, however we distinctly remember supplying the Prince of Wartom with a single PHX R-700 Series Combat Cycle, three wheeled variant with a custom pink paint job (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/grunt74/NS1/pinkbike.png). As we consider this a piece of military hardware, we deem it too dangerous for someone in your now rouge and insane nation to possess, and therefore have issued a recall. If you do not surrender it we will launch an air strike to neutralize it.

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/250px-Ioncannon.jpg

The Ignore cannon hath smited you

http://usera.imagecave.com/CaptainDeath/VariousShazbotdom/Government-Seal.gif
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE MINISTER OF THE MILITARY
GRAND ADMIRAL JAMES E. ROCKENBACH
The Entirety of Shazbotdom's Nuclear Weapons division is trained upon your weak and pathtic nation. Either back down or we turn you into plate glass. The choice is yours.

OCC:shaz!!! im going t invade him!

OCC:shaz!!! im going t invade him!

OOC:
I'd rather nuke him......So if you don't want your people vaporized, i'd stay outta there.

It wasn't much of an invasion I only sent 5 troops.......

You state that your nation has no soldiers or weapons, however we distinctly remember supplying the Prince of Wartom with a single PHX R-700 Series Combat Cycle, three wheeled variant with a custom pink paint job (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/grunt74/NS1/pinkbike.png). As we consider this a piece of military hardware, we deem it too dangerous for someone in your now rouge and insane nation to possess, and therefore have issued a recall. If you do not surrender it we will launch an air strike to neutralize it.

The New Wartom: NO PLEASE! EVERYTHING BUT NOT MY CAR!

*Car explodes in backround and kills Wartom*

OCC:NO, let me get at least 250 miles of his land, nuke the rest south of it.

I got it ha ha spoils of war :D

A man with only one hand and a cigarette in his mouth pressed a big red button.

A message was sent to Wartom:

The IGNORE CANNON has now been activated. Either stop acting like a noob, or leave Jolt. Thank you.

His job was now done...

**throws rock at Wartom**

There's my contribution... Now where are my spoils?

Hey, don't nuke the south, I need that for my Glorious colony of Xiscapia...

10:05 AM:

One of Rome's B-52s is spotted flying directly overhead Warton's ruler's mansion. The B-52 unloads its payload, dropping thousands of pounds of...horse manure..., burying the mansion, and all those who inhabit it in animal droppings.

Pictures were taken of the ruler's wife poopified and distributed via the internet.

*fires one shot*
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d9/Lance_strike.jpg

*fires one shot*
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d9/Lance_strike.jpg
Nice shot...what did you center it over?

The Holy Empire declares war on Wartom. Hey, look, we won, their army is already nonexsistant. another victory for the mighty Sumguaians.

*fires one shot*
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d9/Lance_strike.jpg

I was going to make that a vacation home.........

We can supply you with weapons at a very very low price

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread....6#post12815236

Nice shot...what did you center it over?

in the middle of the nation to mark where to aim

*takes out nation with a Bombardment*
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/31/Exterminatus.jpg

I believe more drastic measures are needed..surfs up for all you island countries

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/vulcan_01.jpg

I believe more drastic measures are needed..surfs up for all you island countries

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/vulcan_01.jpg

Great...massive waves incoming!!!!!!!!
How did you direct that meteor, by the way?

thats classified...I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you...

*runs away in little pink car stolen from the Dictator*

[ Kill me, please.

Seriously, this is saddening. ]

my massive waves will kill you..

OOC:

That's enough water to float a turd...and probably will float a turd

IC:

In the main city of Wartom, the tons of horse manure are now floating upon the waves...this has turned into a very stinky situation indeed.

The Republic of Steel and Fire hereby extends diplomatic relations to Wartom. We think it is good to see another nation starting out on the right foot in the world, as we and so many others did. We also wish to dispatch a.... hehehe.... "delegation", to, um, discuss diplomacy and stuff.

The Triumvirate

PS. Note, we are really not trying to gain your favour solely so we can sneakily take over your nation when you least expect it. You did not read this sentence. Nothing to see here, move right along.

a motorcycle and its passenger in its side car ride into a large city in Wartom

the Rider dismounts and grabs his megaphone,
"this city and the surrounding areas are now occupied by the Verenberg Army"



worlds easiest occupation.....i got my spoils

"Well, a country has declaired war on us.", David Flower, Prime Minister of New Brittonia said, "Well, because we are neutral, this is the only time that we can use military force. We do not take this lightly, even if it is a country with no military."

The very next day, 150,000 members o the New Brittonian Milittary tormed into Wartom.

Lord Wartom of The Dominion of Wartom Declares War On World

I, Wartom, declare war on EVERY nation in the world, no matter what their views or arms are. My nation may have absolutely NO guns OR soldiers, but we nevertheless declare war-on-world. Everyone standing in our way shal fall since they are in war against uss as well. NO ONE can join me in the war against the world since I am in war with YES YOU! YOU THERE! AND YOU!
You shall all feel the might of WARTOM!!!:mad::eek:

FOR THE SONG OF THE LUTE AND STMBALS! PREVAIL!:mad:

IC:

After the spies sent in details on the Wartom situation all the politicians started laughing inside the South Lizasaurian Parliamentary building. The Vice Chancellor was a mean prankster by nature as his ice cream and zoo animal policy have shown. This was the perfect oppurtunity to begin his multinational reign of laughter. Bomber planes began dropping meat onto Wartom as all the pounds ordered all the strays to be released at Wartom's border. This is what INTEL feared. The Vice Chancellor has gone rogue. Begun the clown war has. Fear the large red noses and fear the large red shoes they shall.

Vice Chancellor: Release the clowns!

*clowns come out of large trucks, get into formation, face the enemy and begin marching forward the same way the droids (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKQYa_i7o1k)do in 2:43-3:30*

The Constitutional Monarchy of Stonedhard volunteers to serve as the meeting place for peace negotiations. There's lots of weed here; maybe that will mellow everyone out ;)

IC:

After the spies sent in details on the Wartom situation all the politicians started laughing inside the South Lizasaurian Parliamentary building. The Vice Chancellor was a mean prankster by nature as his ice cream and zoo animal policy have shown. This was the perfect oppurtunity to begin his multinational reign of laughter. Bomber planes began dropping meat onto Wartom as all the pounds ordered all the strays to be released at Wartom's border. This is what INTEL feared. The Vice Chancellor has gone rogue. Begun the clown war has. Fear the large red noses and fear the large red shoes they shall.

Vice Chancellor: Release the clowns!

*clowns come out of large trucks, get into formation, face the enemy and begin marching forward the same way the droids (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKQYa_i7o1k)do in 2:43-3:30*

Dear God, teh Emperor says, we must conter this assualt with one of our own! They don't get all the spoils!
A single tank rolls up. The lethal weapon. It opens it's hatch and out comes...
CHRIS ROCK!
He'll kill us all


...no really...

Chppers carrying zoo animals in nets attacked Wartom by dropping random animals on people as clown troopers armed with ballon swords came in by the millions, even though they lacked firepower the numbers were overwhelming.

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP DROPPING CRAP ON MY NEW VACATION HOME?

I cleared Wartom out weeks ago ending his reign of tyranny. It's great you all want to be freedom fighters and all but your kind of late to the party.

But just so you know no hard feelings and I have a nice piece of land with a mansion on it for sail on the east side of Wartom's Capital with a nice view of the ocean.

It's listed for 50,000 crowns ($2,500,000) its quite the steal.

"President..."

"I know, don't bother me."

"Sir, war!"

"What? From who?"

"lol."

"LOL... useless nations."

"In other news today, Wartom suddenly disappeared off the map of the world, as analysts concluded what appears to have been a mysterious psychotic delirium torn the country to pieces in the world that is NS. Officials have yet to speak about what happened, and phone calls to the country have been left unanswered, further extending the enigmatic circumstances.

"Back to the home front, the price for pork at the local market hit a record high of 4元..."

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP DROPPING CRAP ON MY NEW VACATION HOME?

I cleared Wartom out weeks ago ending his reign of tyranny. It's great you all want to be freedom fighters and all but your kind of late to the party.

But just so you know no hard feelings and I have a nice piece of land with a mansion on it for sail on the east side of Wartom's Capital with a nice view of the ocean.

It's listed for 50,000 crowns ($2,500,000) its quite the steal.

OOC: South Lizasaurian troops are notorious for getting on with chicks from conquered territories. ;)

IC:

South Lizasaurian soldier: Do we still get to erm, you know with the girls in this here conquered land?

I don't care what anybody does I just want people to stop randomly attacking my vacation home.

You see when I'm on vacation I like to relax, which is hard to do when I constantly have to run for cover.

But to all those gathering "spoils of war"

PARTY ON

i shall re-name my Captured city Freidriksberg it will be sovereign Verenberg Territory , and i send the new owner of this country other "spoils of War"

i have taken an island off the coast of Friedriksberg for my Ally Lyras

I'll just take the capital and the vacation home...

$5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 for it.

OOC: Declaring your Stupidity!!!!

IC: The Urcean Imperial Army, consisting of about 26,000,000 regular forces and an unknown amount of para-military forces, sends 1 million troops into Wartom to crush the military there and to laugh in their faces.

The occupying forces of Wartom shall immediately leave the nation as I raze it to the ground...

5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, Urcea? Just the vacation home and a port. Have the rest. But this includes a Non-Aggression Pact.

:headbang: Oh no, another violent fag... :headbang:

We´re lost, God help us... I´m desesperated... :confused:

5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, Urcea? Just the vacation home and a port. Have the rest. But this includes a Non-Aggression Pact.

Sure. All other occupying forces of yours shall leave the country or be forcibly ejected.

The Greal government warns Wartom to back down from its decision.

Urcea tells Greal that we have this problem solved.

URcea tells Greal that we have this problem solved.



OOC: realL? I rather bomb this nation to dust, but whatever.

OCC: I'll just it the General Patton way. Blow the hell your country Wartom and take it for Rome. Or I'll do it Hitler's way. Offer a pistol and hope you use it correctly during a set time limit. If not, I'll shoot you myself. Pick one and I'll do the rest.

OCC: I'll just it the General Patton way. Blow the hell your country Wartom and take it for Rome. Or I'll do it Hitler's way. Offer a pistol and hope you use it correctly during a set time limit. If not, I'll shoot you myself.

OOC: That was basically my idea. Except instead of Shermans, I am using U-3A2s and M1A2s.

OOC: That was basically my idea. Except instead of Shermans, I am using U-3A2s and M1A2s.

OCC: Good. Hopefully Wartom will pull off a Hitler and kill himself.

(OOC: Hey guys, you're just a little late. Wartom was killed on the first page, and the nation was destroyed there too, as typed by the maker of the thread. Now, could you stop these inane postings to a thread that ended already?)

After bombarding the country with cruise missiles loaded with napalm, the army leaves Wartom and returns to Urcea. Mission Accomplished.

Well, you never know... there could be insurgents... :p

I've sent a few thousand troops to help with the recovery & humanitarian efforts, and I hope other Texan nations are doing the same.

Look at the bright side after several WMD attacks a few meteor impacts and being shot with lasers from space, Wartom is now a very beautiful lake complete with radiation and plenty of rotting bodies.

Well, you never know... there could be insurgents... :p

I've sent a few thousand troops to help with the recovery & humanitarian efforts, and I hope other Texan nations are doing the same.

OOC: How many exactly? If you sent an army of a few hundred thousand, which indicates 2 or more, you're sending your entire army over to Wartom. Your entire army, by my calculations, is 360,000 maximum.

OOC: How many exactly? If you sent an army of a few hundred thousand, which indicates 2 or more, you're sending your entire army over to Wartom. Your entire army, by my calculations, is 360,000 maximum.

(OOC: He said "few thousand". Not "few hundred thousand".)

(OOC: He said "few thousand". Not "few hundred thousand".)

OOC: My fault. I read it like that.

Having looked at Wartom's other posts, I've got this feeling that he knows what he's doing and isn't a genuine n00b, just an intentional parody of one.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Decide for yourselves.
In any case, Legion XXI of the Somabalbian army pulls up in an Ivan Rogov-class amphibious assault ship, looking to see if anything can be salvaged from Wartom.

ooc: why do people keep on assaulting this thread? the guy hasn't even replied since page 2, and somehow people find something to berate. As far as I care, this guy quit because a thousand people decided to barge into this thread. This thread is dead.

ooc: why do people keep on assaulting this thread? the guy hasn't even replied since page 2, and somehow people find something to berate. As far as I care, this guy quit because a thousand people decided to barge into this thread. This thread is dead.

(OOC: Not to mention that Wartom himself was killed on page 1 (on the setup of this thing I'm using anyway), and the entire nation was obliterated by various things. But you know just as well as I do that that's how these threads work, people'll flood 'em with inane posts for the next few days until they get bored of it. That's how it works.)

why do people keep on assaulting this thread? the guy hasn't even replied since page 2, and somehow people find something to berate. As far as I care, this guy quit because a thousand people decided to barge into this thread. This thread is dead.

OOC: Because it's fun!

Okay, Greal and Urcea, i will remove all troops (which is none) except for protection of my Princes when they arrive at their new vacation home and port. Sound good?