NationStates Jolt Archive

Jaredcohenia normally was a land where citizens enjoyed low temperatures than the rest of Eastern Haven, a normal high for a day in late June would be 12 degrees centigrade. On a normal day, most Jaredcohenians would wander around wearing hooded sweatshirts, fur coats, and other things to keep warm. Anything to keep warm helped in Jaredcohenia: blankets, fires, snuggling with a loved one (or a complete stranger), etc. In buildings, the heat was always on. Nuclear power fueled some portion of heating homes, but that was only near power plants. Elsewhere in the nation (towards the Blub/Novacom border), homes were heated with black gold.

On this particular day, the heat would not be needed. The Jaredcohenian Meteorological Department had predicted a record setting high of 38 degrees centigrade. Temperatures have rarely gone this high in the nation of Jaredcohenia, and the citizens of the nation would not be used to it. School children disobeyed their uniforms, girls didn't wear their long shirts and skirts, leaving them nearly bare, while boys ripped their long pants and turned them into shorts. All of the demerits in the world would not stop these childre, the heat had gone to their heads. Families flocked to the coastal areas of Jaredcohenia, women lying on bath towels in their underwear while men did the same in their own underwear. Indecent exposure tickets would've been handed out, but police officers were doing the same-a military police officer smiling was a rare site indeed, unless of course he had seen a dead Clandonian.

Aside from the freak weather occurance, this date was something special in Jaredcohenia. But the people didn't know about it yet, the idea was still fresh in the mind of the Premier.

Jaredcohenia's Premier, Aaron Cohen, had controlled the nation with an iron fist since he turned 25. The Premier was now entering his late 50s, he was generally regarded as a dictator throughout the world (rather not the world, I mean who the fuck knows about Jaredcohenia?) even though his nation had a working parliament. As Premier, Aaron had complete executive control and was leader of the Parliament, having an unblockable veto power. As all leaders, Aaron wanted more power. Dictatorship didn't thrill him-Aaron wanted something bigger. The people of Jaredcohenia weren't happy with the dictatorship, so something else was needed.

By six o'clock on the day, the temperatures had dropped to the 20s. People were reaching for their coats and leaving the beaches, heading towards major commuter areas. Train stations, the highways, air ports, and so forth. To keep the nation of Jaredcohenia safe and keep the citizens alert, loudspeakers were installed on various locations throughout the nation. When people did not need to be informed, a radio station was put on. Jaredcohenians listened to music all day, music that everyone liked. (Link to such music is here: click this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sK3AqFYAWQ)) At Victory Square (the site of the Jewish victory over the Muslims in the 1200s), people did what anything happens at the square. They shopped, they listened to music, they did all sorts of leisurely activities.

The Premier walked out of the Tyraningrad, the Jaredcohenian Parliamentary building that was formerly the palace of the Muslim governor over Jaredcohenia, and onto a balcony. This balcony was where the Premier would hold rallies for his people, delivering speeches, war declarations, the lunch menu at the Tyraningrad cafeteria, et cetera. He was to hold a rally, everyone in the square looked up.

"People of Jaredcohenia!" he screamed. "Today, aside from the strange heat wave, marks another important date in the history of our nation! No more will I be Premier of this nation." The crowd was shocked, the Premier was no longer the Premier? Was he drunk? "I have called upon Parliament to draft a new constitution on our land, one that calls for a new leader. That new leader is a king, an emperor, your new czar. Effective immediately, the Jaredcohenian Republic is no more! Laws of the Republic are no longer useful, they were too kind upon infidels! No more will Muslims frolic peacefully in the islands, their land will be given to new families of the Jewish faith! By the power of Parliament, I am your new czar!" The people in the square cheered, mainly due to the anti-Islamic chant.

"Long live the Czar! Long live the Czar! Long live the Czar!" Pan-Arabic flags were burned as the newly crowned Czar raised his fist, an iron one. The Czar would assume the name of Czar Ferrin, Ferrin being Jaredcohenian for Man of Iron. The rule of Czar Ferrin would be a new world upon Jaredcohenia, who knows what would occur next?

The Republic of Groznyj
http://www.chechnyawar.com/flags/coat_arms_small.jpg
Long Live Nokhchichoo


To Czar Ferrin:

It is another sad day in the history of human kind when once again we turn against our brothers solely on a matter of faith. As the president of the Republic I am supposed to serve I congratulate you on your new title of Czar. A title so very different then that of dictator, or despot, or what have you. Surely it is a great feet of humility to be able to so humbly renounce your title as premier and for that you should be praised. However, it comes to me, as the elected leader of a secular and open-minded nation, to ask you, what difference does being a Czar make? Is it that by being Czar you are afforded a convenient opportunity to pass on your most honorable legacy to an heir? A continuation of power in a world climate where autocrats are so despised but royalty exalted? Or, so is my guess and do correct me if I am wrong, is this just a clever scheme in a powerful man's quest for more power? You have, on a whim, instituted a new order for your people. No longer are you a ruthless premier but a venerable Czar. And now with this new order you realize it is left to you to put some action behind this new order of yours. So you discriminate against a lone group of people not bound by ethnic or nationality but by simple faith, going so far as to call them infidels (a name they have most certainly earned in their loyal service to your nation and among your other peoples) and ejecting the Islamic peoples from their property.

No. You Czar Ferrin are a hypocrite and a despot. You now commit crimes against your own people in much the same way as the Nazis did to yours. And in doing so you are no better than their despicable leader Adolf Hitler. That is right I have just likened you, a self proclaimed advocate of the Jewish faith to their most reviled enemy. Look inside your heart, you know it is true. But what do you care? As long as you get more power what is it worth to you? Nothing. That is the same thing Hitler himself thought.

I condemn your actions against the people of the Islamic faith and Groznyj's borders are open to willing refugees who wish to start a new peaceful life away from madmen. If you truly are not what I think you to be, then renounce you previous declaration and make a full public apology. Do not take this lightly.

Signed,
Ramzan Urmev,
President of the Republic of Groznyj

President Ramzan Urmev
Republic of Groznyj

My nation was founded on the basis of the destruction of Muslims, as Muslims raped my people and robbed them of their wealth during the 1500s. Documents found from that era discuss young girls at the age of 14 being forced into Harems of the Sultan of Tsyina. In years after the defeat of our army to the Muslims, we managed a victory in what is now known as Coheningrad. Muslims will learn the pain suffered by the Jews and Catholics of my land, they know they are not wanted here but continue to stay. You do not compare those men to Adolf Hitler, do you? Do you compare the fat infidel who took my 14 year old sister when I was 11, along with my two other brothers, and both raped and killed her? The man is still on the loose. The Muslims of the Jaredcohenia deserve less rights than what they have now, the fact that my Parliament allows them to own houses by three votes is strange. The people of my nation hate the Muslims of my land too, why not give them what they deserve? My words are my words, I say them for a meaning. I am to please my own people, I am to make them happy. Think of me as a father towards my people, daddy always needs to put a smile on the kid's faces, doesn't he?

Also, for your knowledge, I do not have a heart. My heart is currently in my office, in a pickle jar. Where I should have a heart is a plastic machine that acts like one, consider it a warning of eating too many Bacon Cheeseburgers.

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia

From the Offices of His Gods' Blessed Imperial Majesty Emperor Konrad Teran II
To: Czar Ferrin, Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia
Regarding: Taking Power

Hello, old friend. I would like to be the first to congradulate you on you shift to Czar of Jaredcohenia, though I regret not being the first to actually respond to this event. Unfortunatly, the terrorist supporters in Groznyj got to it first. I hope that with your new found powers the friendship between our nations will become even stronger and the alliance even more impenetrable.

Signed,
His God's Blessed Imperial Majesty Emperor Konrad Teran II, Emperor of the Glorious Empire of Zukariaa, Leader of the Zukariaan people, Ruler Of the Lands of the Gods, Leader of the Church of Zukariaa, Grand Exterminator of Muslims, etc etc

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c381/crave22/Cravan/crestcopysmall.png
Imperial Department of Foreign Affairs

RICKROLL'D.

Signed,

Sir Leroy Webbings
Leroy Webbings
Director of Foreign Affairs

The Republic of Groznyj
http://www.chechnyawar.com/flags/coat_arms_small.jpg
Long Live Nokhchichoo

From the Office of the President:

On behalf of the president who does not have the time to waste on responding to idiotic dribble I, the Vice President will reply in his stead.

The Republic of Groznyj in no way shape or form supports terrorism and does not negotiate with terrorists. Additionally we have had no diplomatic dialog with the nation of Zukarria in the past so why they would insult us the way they did is beyond me.

Regardless of your sadly skewed ideology the president's offer of accepting refugees on basis of political asylum still stands. What say you?

Signed,
Vice President

THEOROSHIAN COMMUNIQUE


Congratulations, Comrade Czar! Assuming that you are a communist nation, we applaud you on protecting your country by punishing the Muslim infidels. Hopefully, like minded men like you will rise up and lead the world into a new era! Again, congratulations comrade!

Premier - Ericov Sergetov

THEOROSHIAN COMMUNIQUE


Congratulations, Comrade Czar! Assuming that you are a communist nation, we applaud you on protecting your country by punishing the Muslim infidels. Hopefully, like minded men like you will rise up and lead the world into a new era! Again, congratulations comrade!

Premier - Ericov Sergetov


OOC: For reference, he's not Communist. >.>

OOC: When he said Czar, I thought that's what he meant. Still though, congrats!

ooc: um Czar =/= Commie, lol the Bolshevists killed the Russian Czars family :p

YAY SPAM

:sniper:on u

I know that, but still Czar and Bolsheviks go together, so...yeah.

'Tā mā de!' swore President Fan Baonu of the Republic of Jeuna. Loosely translated, it equated to 'shit!'.

'More nonsense, sir?' asked a mildly-amused aide in Chinese. He crossed his arms over the portfolio he'd be perusing, and looked at the President with a raised eyebrow.

'Yes,' replied the President, tipping his chair back, only to get up and walk to the window overlooking the Ye Lao that ran by the capital city, Jianjing. He held his forehead in his hand, slowly moving his thumb and index fingers in circles, as if to relieve a headache. 'Some lunatic in...Dammit, I have no idea where—decided he'd become a tsar. A king, of all things!'

'Nothing more than standard procedure, then?' asked the aide dryly, pretending to go back to his folder.

Baonu sighed, and walked over to the bar to pour himself a glass of Scotch. Despite its foreign origins, he still enjoyed the alcohol, and it was preferable to the lighter yellow wine when he needed a stiff drink to soothe his nerves. 'It is unfortunate, but no,' he replied, turning around to look at the aide, leaning on the bar's counter. 'Hopefully, he'll be gotten rid of by those vitriolic imperialist nations. I doubt, however, that we can expect one of them to go down in the fighting.'

'A shame,' responded the aide. 'I did always wonder what fireworks looked like on a regional scale.'

'You always were a smartass, weren't you, Jie?' grumbled the President, taking a swallow of the Scotch.

Jie just shrugged and lifted his free hand, palm upward, to the heavens.

Dyelli Beybi was a Roman Catholic State, but had always had a strong Muslim minoroty in the more sparsely populated reaches of the country. While Dyelli Beybi generally didn't give a brass razoo for what went on outside of the Federation of Klatch, there was enough of a stir to cause the Government to make a comment...

The Cheka had busily been intercepting communiques back and forth and passing them onto the Tzarina cum Prime Minister of the Klatchian State...

Official Statement from Parliament, Dyelli Beybi

Dyelli Beybi wishes to strongly condemn this genocidal behaviour as not befitting a modern State. Furthermore we wish to strongly decry this move from democracy to Feudalism. However, Dyelli Beybi wishes to strongly stress that while we disapprove, we do not feel it would be an appropriate move to sever diplomatic ties altogther.

Secret and heavily encoded addendum at the end...

Having observed your behaviour, I am inclined to believe you to be an intelligent and ruthless man, qualities becoming in a leader. While I may not share your political views, what you do in your own Nation is entirely your own business, however I have an idea I feel could be of benefit to both of us. I would be most interested to meet you in person.

The Right Hon, Alexia ap Adam, Tzarina of Dyelli Beybi

PS: Naturally we will deny everything if you attempt to reveal the nature of what has been mentioned in secret.

The Hierocracy is not pleased to see this abuse of religion by the new 'Iron Czar', it is both a step backward both politically and socially and does nothing to improve your nation -- only make it stand out more as a poor example of the good that religion can do. The saying an Eye for an Eye is meaningless, and even if it were to be applied, to see be executing Moslems centuries after you overthrew them is excessive. You've already repaid the Moslems a hundred fold for their crimes against your families. To continue is a slap in the face of your own faith, and in no way shall be supported by the Divinidom.

If your country is bent on this continued persecution, then Jagada will relieve you of your burden and allow the Moslems into our country. The cost of deportation and moving will be paid in full by the Hierocracy. We only need authorization to enter your territorial waters and extract them from various ports.

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/HeavensKnights/JagiteSeal.gif
Signed,
High Minister Ronin Matsumoto

The Vioroid spoke out and the Emissaries of all Departments listened, their beings vibrating in unison to the dark resonance his dark charms induced in his open devout. They felt the paralyzing presence creep upon their sins, devour their souls, oppress any intention outside of the current Agenda.

they do not hold their peace, they do not hold their mind. Faith is the last tool of the Powerful, and Crusading the First Folly! I Say Death To The Rusted Facist! Delusion is the Right of every man!

Upon witnessing for a few moments the outraged aura of the religious Sycophant of Vicisse, ArchDuke Deloissar knew that tonight death would ferry from Vicisse to a small, unimportant overpatriotic country. Not because the Vioroid knew the international community wouldn't mind the resulting atrocity that would engulf said country. Not because the Higher Beings were afraid a small conflagration could expose activities in the area that were crucial to the Agenda. And lastly not because the leader of Vicisse's religion had a personal grudge with an obscure occult organization based partially in that country.

Great Nyarlathotep! Iub Nusshatt! The Alignment is right! The Higher Beings agrees, Judgement will be carried out by thee dark Messenger, Azathoth, and by thy Will!

Agrian Deloissar lifted his enormous armored bulk from the higher back seat row available to the members of the Legion. He quickly turned and whispered to lady Yvy,

" Don't believe there will be a man in Jaredcohenia sleeping tonight. Hair will turn white, sanity will be lost, life will be extinguished and all this to out advancement "

He departed quickly, the Mass regulatory only to the lower ranks, to plan further pain and misery, and by a surprising twist of destiny, once upon a country greatly in need of pain and misery.

I will not hail such ape excrement.

Earthling Apeoids are savage grape soda chugging and fried chicken eating pink sucklings who have coasted by in life by the BLESSINGS of OVERlord and ever dominating Aguromastyx and not their merit.

OOC: So much SPAM (that means you Groz and that other dude, so little time!) Also, excuse the length of these posts, it's 3:35 AM as I type this (later when I'm done) and I'm sleepy/unwilling to continue posting tomorrow.

IC:

To: The Nation of Theoroshia

I am no communist.

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia

SIC and Highly Encrypted

To: The Right Hon, Alexia ap Adam, Tzarina of Dyelli Beybi

Your words confuse me. First you insult me, calling me a genocidal maniac then you ask for a meeting between the two of us? The hatred of the people of the Islamic faith is shared between my people and myself, but whatever in all honesty. If you wish for diplomatic talks, I'm game. However, if the goals of said talks are just to ask for refuges-the people of my nation and myself are not interested.

Thank you,

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia

As he sent this message, the Czar wondered why anyone in their right mind would let a woman head a nation. "Czarina, hmm. Seems kind of crazy to me." The Czar was a bachelor, his wife dying of cancer after the bird of their third child. Throughout these twenty years since the death of his wife, the only woman he was around most of the time was his daughter. He lost any pro-feminist ideas in this time.

To: High Minister Ronin Matsumoto

May I ask how exactly I am abusing religion? I am doing as my people wish, they have high hatred towards the Muslim population of my nation-so I happily listen to them. And as I recall, I never asked you on your opinion on how I should run my government. I listen to the will of my people, my people cry 'death to Muslims!', I answer their requests. Nothing is excessive when it comes to pleasing my populace. Well, perhaps handing out tax refunds every day and giving them thousands of Haven Pounds would be excessive. Also, I do not believe it is a slap in the face to my own faith. Their faith dislikes mine, so our faith will return the favor.

Also, my people will decide the faith. Other nations are vying for who gets the refuges, perhaps it'll turn into a game show.

Thank you,

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia

However, throughout the nation of Jaredcohenia, men and women soundly slept throughout the night. (Honestly dude, wtf r u doin?)

OOC: more replies when I wake up. It's 3:53 now.

From: A. ap Adam
To: Czar Ferrin
Subject: Regarding Negotiations
Status: Highest level Encryption

Yes, Dyelli Beybi has chosen to publically condemn your Regime and we will indefinitely, this does not mean however that we cannot conduct a deal. Were we to organise some manner of diplomatic business we would of course Officially be discussing the status of the Islamic population within your Nation, however unoficially and definitely off the record, we wish to discuss a possible final solution to your Nation's problem which could be of benefit to all of us. We will not discuss more in this manner due to the inherrant lack of security in all but face to face discussions.

Regards,
The Right Hon. Alexia ap Adam, Tzarina

High Office of the ArchDuke Deloissar, High Legion


To the temporal Czar Ferrin
This letter in itself could easily be misconstrued by lower intellectually gifted individuals as an attempt at friendship. You cannot in any way facilitate that, and it is necessary that my communication with you remain secret. Acting otherwise would make my very angry, and of course terminate my current involvement in the matter.

It suffice to say of the matter itself is one of private terrorism. The Vioroid, leader of the Cthonian majority of Vissice, has taken personal offense from your declaration of crusade against another religion. I understand the unenlightened and barbarous might not understand Cthonia as a religion, and might laugh at the edict of a religious leader, underestimating its importance. I can say nothing in specific, but I would highly suggest you secure your border in the next while. Not that you really have a chance, though.

Remember that this is the action of a religious entity, one that embrace the concepts of trans humanism to the exaltation. However advertised by the Vioroid himself, the body of government of Vicisse, the Higher Beings, have not sanctified this order, which explains my communication. The fact is that we cannot permit the Vioroid to know of our involvement. We thrust your understanding and applauds your vision of strength. But believe this, flesh is stronger than iron

ArchDuke Deloissar, Commander, 3rd Legion

Dear Czar Cohen,

I am sorry, but I cannot cheer you in your so called accomplishment. Despite being an Empire based on religion(mine being Christian) I can find nothing in your actions besides cold-hearted malice in your persecution of those of the Muslim faith. Surely you would not disgrace the Jewish faith in such a way.

Instead of congradulating you in your "victory" I am here to give you advice and warning. Do not persecute those minorities you find so annoying for they will rise against you, and display mercy to your enemies as God has displayed mercy on us all. Remember the times your people were forgiven of their sins, and thus rule in a matter fitting not to you, but for the Lord our God.

sincerely,

His Imperial Majesty, Nicholas Edom, Emperor of the Realm of New Ragnos, Prince of the Lands of the River Rhiva, of the Imperial City of Kial, Duke of the Duchy of Livon, Head of the United Church of New Ragnos, and Grand Master of the Order of Ragnos

Official West Corinthian Statement

On behalf of West Corinthia, I congratulate you for adopting the one title truly befitting of a monarch. I have no comment on your actual administration, however, I would like to keep in contact with you.

Signed,
Czar Valerius Ptolemy of West Corinthia

ooc: yay! Czar buddies!

OOC: lol Jared, I really laıd the groundwork for some serıous spam :D

WOOHOO!

SIC:

To: The Right Hon. Alexia ap Adam, Tzarina

Please come to my nation if you wish to discuss the Muslim minority, just remember if you come requesting they seek refuge in your nation it will be ignored. Other nations before yours have contacted me regarding refugees, and I wouldn't want you wasting jet fuel, coal, nuclear power, etc.

I actually would, but I'm trying to be polite.

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia
~~~~
To: High Office of the ArchDuke Deloissar, High Legion

http://www.lolwut.com/layout/lolwut.jpg

I must be inferior, as your worlds confuse me. Either that, or the 160 proof industrial alcohol is kicking in. Diplomatic messages while drunk are more fun, I must say!

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia
~~~~
To: Nicholas Edom of New Ragnos

I simply act on the will of my people, who hold a hatred for those of the Islamic faith. If you hated a certain person, what would you do? You would ignore them, correct? However, crimes against my people by the Muslims occur daily, painting of swastikas on doors, burning crosses on lawns, synagogues being destroyed as well as Cathedrals-the only way to ignore these crimes is to exterminate the criminal.

Also, if they are all dead - who is to rise against my people? Answer that question to me.

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia
~~~~
To: Czar Valerius Ptolemy

Didn't we used to be allies in the Tripartite Pact? However, that was destroyed as the nation of Undershi just seemed to vanish off the face of the Earth-eerie ain't it? But I thank you for the congratulations, it is appreciated.

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia

From: A. ap Adam
To: Czar Ferrin
Subject: Regarding Negotiations
Status: Highest level Encryption

The continued attempts to insinuate some degree of stupidity on my part do not befit your assumed station. I am not contacting you 'regarding refugees', however I assure you that Jaredcohenia is not the only nation with excess human population. My time is valuable and I will not organise anything that would be a waste of my time.

The Right Hon. Alexia ap Adam, Tzarina

To: The Right Hon. Alexia ap Adam, Tzarina

Then come already, Christ...

Czar Ferrin
Czar of the Iron Imperium of Jaredcohenia