Franberry
17-06-2007, 16:28
President Announces Construction of Giant Sabre
Herald of Franberry
June 17th, 2007
Setting a bold goal to the “metallurgy industry of Franberry”, President Geoli Joolitan challenged the smelters of our fine nation to produce a 500m-long sabre by the end of the year.
“It is shameful to admit that Franberry has fallen behind when it comes to sabre-rattling”, admitted Joolitan at this morning’s press conference. “We must, however, not ignore this problem, but study it, and solve it as quick as possible. Franberry has what it needs to increase its warmongering.” The President explained as he unveiled a chart comparing Franberry not only to allies but to other nations as well. “One can see here that warmongering is a massive 40% down from last year, and while we have fallen, all other nations have increased.” Shortly thereafter, he asked for the construction of the massive sabre, sheath, and pedestal. The President also detailed government wishes for the sabre to be inlaid with gold, diamonds, and other precious materials.
The announcement comes after members of the opposition have criticized the government for “Putting the well-being of the nation in front of national prestige and warmongering at the international level.” Franberry has not been involved in a major conflict since the Thirteen Day War over a year ago, which left a mere 186,500 dead on all sides. “Franberry must do what it needs to do: go to war more often.” The opposition highlighted that military bases were being overcrowded due to the fall in number of dead or wounded. “Our soldiers deserve to live with ample comfort, not squished together because they’re not dying quickly enough”.
The recent peace proposal of the guerrillas in the Uruazo Islands have undermined the government’s position even further and created more public discontent. “We need much more warmongering, there’s plenty of third world nations out there to go ‘peacekeeping’ in. Not to mention I’m receiving less and less costumers every month” said George Wistan, Chairman of the Museum of Heroes, a site dedicated to the fallen in the military.
Arms producers have expressed concern as well, but have rejoiced at this morning’s announcement. “Over the last year we have been producing less and less, and selling less. Research has practically stagnated. Peaceful Skies 2007, the government initiative in aerial production has saved the aerospace business from this recession, but those companies producing land and naval equipment are experiencing losses everywhere. We hope that this sabre-rattling campaign will get us back on the warpath and revive our local arms economy. Not only that, but flag-making companies are recording losses as well. Less aggressive actions on the part of our government means less troops going abroad and returning, and less troops going abroad means less parades, and less parades means less flags.” Explained Corkwallis Pertross, head of the Committee of Franberrian Arms Manufacturing Enterprises. Flag-making companies have experienced a 30% loss, while the land weaponry business has had ones of 21%, and the shipyards have been the best off, only losing 16%, all figures compared with those of last year.
“This initiative also extends to the public” said President Joolitan, explaining that “every Franberrian can help in this time of crisis, citizens are encouraged to devise new weapons systems and suggest dirt-poor third-world nations to bomb.” Worsening relations between Gologoth and the SL have encouraged Franberrians, Joolitan stating, “Franberry will no longer be the ‘nice’ member of the Sovereign League.”
Early estimates have expected that the giant sabre, shall increase sabre-rattling by 180%, in comparison with others, this is a conservative figure, as some statistics agencies are claiming that this has the potential to increase sabre-rattling by a massive 650%.
“Franberry will return to its former greatness” stated our President, “every citizen must do their duty, hate foreigners more, and propel Franberry to glory!”
Herald of Franberry
June 17th, 2007
Setting a bold goal to the “metallurgy industry of Franberry”, President Geoli Joolitan challenged the smelters of our fine nation to produce a 500m-long sabre by the end of the year.
“It is shameful to admit that Franberry has fallen behind when it comes to sabre-rattling”, admitted Joolitan at this morning’s press conference. “We must, however, not ignore this problem, but study it, and solve it as quick as possible. Franberry has what it needs to increase its warmongering.” The President explained as he unveiled a chart comparing Franberry not only to allies but to other nations as well. “One can see here that warmongering is a massive 40% down from last year, and while we have fallen, all other nations have increased.” Shortly thereafter, he asked for the construction of the massive sabre, sheath, and pedestal. The President also detailed government wishes for the sabre to be inlaid with gold, diamonds, and other precious materials.
The announcement comes after members of the opposition have criticized the government for “Putting the well-being of the nation in front of national prestige and warmongering at the international level.” Franberry has not been involved in a major conflict since the Thirteen Day War over a year ago, which left a mere 186,500 dead on all sides. “Franberry must do what it needs to do: go to war more often.” The opposition highlighted that military bases were being overcrowded due to the fall in number of dead or wounded. “Our soldiers deserve to live with ample comfort, not squished together because they’re not dying quickly enough”.
The recent peace proposal of the guerrillas in the Uruazo Islands have undermined the government’s position even further and created more public discontent. “We need much more warmongering, there’s plenty of third world nations out there to go ‘peacekeeping’ in. Not to mention I’m receiving less and less costumers every month” said George Wistan, Chairman of the Museum of Heroes, a site dedicated to the fallen in the military.
Arms producers have expressed concern as well, but have rejoiced at this morning’s announcement. “Over the last year we have been producing less and less, and selling less. Research has practically stagnated. Peaceful Skies 2007, the government initiative in aerial production has saved the aerospace business from this recession, but those companies producing land and naval equipment are experiencing losses everywhere. We hope that this sabre-rattling campaign will get us back on the warpath and revive our local arms economy. Not only that, but flag-making companies are recording losses as well. Less aggressive actions on the part of our government means less troops going abroad and returning, and less troops going abroad means less parades, and less parades means less flags.” Explained Corkwallis Pertross, head of the Committee of Franberrian Arms Manufacturing Enterprises. Flag-making companies have experienced a 30% loss, while the land weaponry business has had ones of 21%, and the shipyards have been the best off, only losing 16%, all figures compared with those of last year.
“This initiative also extends to the public” said President Joolitan, explaining that “every Franberrian can help in this time of crisis, citizens are encouraged to devise new weapons systems and suggest dirt-poor third-world nations to bomb.” Worsening relations between Gologoth and the SL have encouraged Franberrians, Joolitan stating, “Franberry will no longer be the ‘nice’ member of the Sovereign League.”
Early estimates have expected that the giant sabre, shall increase sabre-rattling by 180%, in comparison with others, this is a conservative figure, as some statistics agencies are claiming that this has the potential to increase sabre-rattling by a massive 650%.
“Franberry will return to its former greatness” stated our President, “every citizen must do their duty, hate foreigners more, and propel Franberry to glory!”