NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: The Lizasaurs are currently grounded off of the internet for being retarted, and I talked with them on the phone, and we wanted to set this up because it is june 6th.


The Armed Republic of the Toori, and the Allied Meritocratic States of South Lizasauria cordealy invite all nations to join in the opening ceremonial celebration of our newest resteraunt franchise: The Arsenal Cafe', which is dedicated to the memorial of all of the wars in Toorian and Lizasaurian history, as well as the wars of earth. The first location has already been built in southern South Lizasauria, and today is the opening day. We invite any national representatives or ambassadors from any nations to partake in the opening day, which has been desided as:

The First Gracian War Memorial Day


Please register your nation, and its representative participating below. Registration will end in two hours, due to the fact that today is its opening day.

bump for interest and sign-up

Nation: The Kiravian Empire
Participant: Officiate Tûrin Vorm, Lietenant Governor, insular province of Northern Saula. Also Diplomat, Imperial State Dept.
&
Master Electrician Wersk Tristell, expert in Lizasaurian culture.

Nation:The United States of Calizorinstan
Repersentive: Temp.President Jack R Arnold

Toori and Reformer South Lizasauria welcomes you to our opening. Once 5 participants are logged, the opening ceremony will commence. For a reason that still eludes me, the Lizasaurians are highly motivated to recieve guests, more so than usual. It is my prediction they have alterior motives behind this so called "resteraunt" as humans call them.


-Preator Artanis-

Nation: The United Socialist States of New Brittonia
Representative: Deputy Prime Minister Mohammed Javaid

Nation: The Kiravian Empire
Participant: Officiate Tûrin Vorm, Lietenant Governor, insular province of Northern Saula. Also Diplomat, Imperial State Dept.
&
Master Electrician Wersk Tristell, expert in Lizasaurian culture.

I am interested by how you know so much of the Lizasaurians. Might you be interested in an exchange of embassies with the Toori for trade purposes?

Nation: The United Socialist States of New Brittonia
Representative: Deputy Prime Minister Mohammed Javaid

Your Deputy Prime Minister is most cordualy welcome. Thank you for your participation.

Your Deputy Prime Minister is most cordualy welcome. Thank you for your participation.

As a Muslim, I would like to know if there will be space for me to pray, if this reception falls in any of the salat times.


Deputy Prime Minister of the United Socialist States of New Brittonia,
Mohammed Javaid

As a Muslim, I would like to know if there will be space for me to pray, if this reception falls in any of the salat times.


Deputy Prime Minister of the United Socialist States of New Brittonia,
Mohammed Javaid

It will take place at 1930 hours at night, and end at 2100 hours at night. I am unsure if your prayer time would be then, however, he Toori do have many sanctuaries designated specificaly for prayer, meditation, and spirituality that you may relieve yourself to. As for the Lizasaurs, they are strictly catholic I do believe. They may not take kindly of that. None the less, you are welcome as a brother in the Toori.

-Preator Artanis-

It will take place at 1930 hours at night, and end at 2100 hours at night. I am unsure if your prayer time would be then, however, he Toori do have many sanctuaries designated specificaly for prayer, meditation, and spirituality that you may relieve yourself to. As for the Lizasaurs, they are strictly catholic I do believe. They may not take kindly of that. None the less, you are welcome as a brother in the Toori.

-Preator Artanis-

The Maghrib prayer time is sunset to midnight, I can manage to pray later so I do not disrupt the ceremony. For safety reasons, will I face discrimination because of my faith here?

The Community of Siap wishes to partake in this event. Specifically, we will be sending Paul Kesson to act as our nation's representative. Mr. Kesson is a former soldier and was the commander of the Siapian expeditionary force in the war against the Baptist terrorists. He has personally served along side Lizasaurian soldiers.

We hope that we have not registered too late.

~Alex Connor
Speaker
The Community of Siap

The Maghrib prayer time is sunset to midnight, I can manage to pray later so I do not disrupt the ceremony. For safety reasons, will I face discrimination because of my faith here?

As long as the Toori is present, there shall be no discrimination, for it would be dishonorable of the virtues of the Toori and South Lizasauria. The only ecception is if you were a Gracian. Then there would be much discrimination. You are most welcome to the Toori's many sanctuaries.


-Preator Artanis-

The Community of Siap wishes to partake in this event. Specifically, we will be sending Paul Kesson to act as our nation's representative. Mr. Kesson is a former soldier and was the commander of the Siapian expeditionary force in the war against the Baptist terrorists. He has personally served along side Lizasaurian soldiers.

We hope that we have not registered too late.

~Alex Connor
Speaker
The Community of Siap

We most definitely accept your request for a former brother in arms to take part in this event. You are also most welcome to join our nation in trade: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=528810

You are welcome to the Toori any time you wish.


-Preator Artanis-

OOC: PS, forget what I said about the 2 hour thing, and the 5 applications thingy. We have desided to wait for the opening thread to be when he gets back on the internet. Hopefully he can stay out of trouble long enough to do so. lol

OOC: When will this open?

OOC: Hopefully within a week or two. Hopefully less.

Toori and Reformer South Lizasauria welcomes you to our opening. Once 5 participants are logged, the opening ceremony will commence. For a reason that still eludes me, the Lizasaurians are highly motivated to recieve guests, more so than usual. It is my prediction they have alterior motives behind this so called "resteraunt" as humans call them.


-Preator Artanis-

IC:

South Lizasaurian: OH NO! Spies! Spies! *pulls foil hat over head* :O

OOC: Ok, nevermind then. I spoke too soon........ AGAIN! .......... I mean............... geese! what took you so friggin long!?!?

OOC: Hey Toori, which memorial performance shall we do first while the customers ICly dine? :D

IC:

Menu:

Meats:

Ground Beef
Fried pork (choice between cooked alive or cooked dead)
Terrorist hotdogs(comes with one dead terrorist, just for entertainment)
Chicken strips
Turkey with stuffing

Deserts:
Kubran fruit salad
Milk Shake
Slushie
Large Cake(for special occasions only like Birthdays, anniversaries and such)
Protoss Pudding
Banana Split
Vice Chancellor's Ice Cream Special (If you get the lucky poison pellet you win a free squirt gun and free medical care ;) )





OOC: (still updating)

IC:

The first restraunt was in the Reconaissance Islands where the guests were invited. The building looked like a garrisoned outpost and strangely enough it tad barricades keeping anyone from getting in with people in Grecian uniform guarding from the top. Tons of troops in Reformer South Lizasaurian Uniforms were in a square formation outside holding up the South Lizasuarian flag.

Manager:*walks onto a stage with a sign reading "Opening Day" dressed in a LT Colonel uniform* My friends, we have gathered here to celebrate the opening of the Arsenal Cafe! *applause from crowd* Unfortunately as you can see some nasty Grecians *laughs jokingly* have garrisoned our beloved restraunt. Now before I open the cafe know that my troops have joined to serve, they will serve you and make sure that you get the food you good folks like and that your stay in the restraunt is interesting and hopefully pleasant, but to do that we must be in the restraunt right? So the first task for my soldiers here is to liberate the restraunt, we must have that building taken by 0200 hours! Got that men?!

Troops: Sir! Yes sir!

Manager: Move out!

The reinactment of the battle began, the Reformist reenactors charged towards the barricade as the Grecians opened fire with blank rifles, three reformers faked death as the rest reached the gate returning fire making a few Grecian troops drop to the ground, the reformers then put bangle ores into a crack between two boards in the barricade.

Soldier: Bangle Ores! Fire in the hole!

The reformer troops fell back as the real explosives blasted the barricade open revealing the cafe entrance thus making the restraunt officially open. The Reformers and Grecians clashed and reenacted the battles of the Second Grecian war. The reformer rushed into the building securing the area, troops still fought on side stages a safe distance away from the tables. A Grecian outpost was between the kitchen and the tables meaning that waiters would have to crawl through obstacles, cut barbwire, infiltrate the defenses, ovoid getting caught or captured then bring the food to the designated table.

bump

Paul Kesson, who had been standing in the back was slightly put off by the excessive war paraphenalia, almost dropping to the ground upon the detonation of the explosives.

With his usual calm demeanor hiding his anxiety and outright confusion over the theme of the restaraunt, Paul waded through the crowd looking for someone he may recognize.

Many Protoss Zealots walked into the restaraunt, and noticed the Gracians. They immediately activated real psi-blades, let out a massive battle cry, and charged the restaraunt.

"FOR ADUN!!!" they shouted, as they began hacking the line of Gracians in half.

A lizasaur stopped one of the Protoss, "Umm.... are those psi-blades real?"

The Protoss gave the lizasaur a blank look, then continued slaughtering the Gracian reenactments.

Many Protoss Zealots walked into the restaraunt, and noticed the Gracians. They immediately activated real psi-blades, let out a massive battle cry, and charged the restaraunt.

"FOR ADUN!!!" they shouted, as they began hacking the line of Gracians in half.

A lizasaur stopped one of the Protoss, "Umm.... are those psi-blades real?"

The Protoss gave the lizasaur a blank look, then continued slaughtering the Gracian reenactments.

Soldier: Psst, protoss! *mouths* They're actors! They're not real Grecians!

Just as he said that, all of the Protoss stopped, most standing on a Gracian actor they had pinned on the grouned, then turned and gave the Lizasaur a blank look, then looked at eachother, then looked back at the Lizasaur.

Paul Kesson, who had been standing in the back was slightly put off by the excessive war paraphenalia, almost dropping to the ground upon the detonation of the explosives.

With his usual calm demeanor hiding his anxiety and outright confusion over the theme of the restaraunt, Paul waded through the crowd looking for someone he may recognize.

IC:

A paratrooper jumped from a balcony in the ceiling and landed next to Paul Kesson.

Paratrooper: Private Walter, 2nd Waiter battalion, *hands kesson a map of the restraunt with grid lines and coordinates and a compass* Here are the coordinates for your table, may I take your order sir?! *hands him a menu*

Artanis unsuspectingly walks into the restaraunt in his ceremonial robes. He then stopped at the door and looked at the carnage ensueing.

Artanis: WHAT IN THE NAME IF AIUR!!!!

Soldier:[mouthing] ACTORS.

The Protoss blinked all at once, then turned to eachother, then turned back to the Lizasaurian soldier with the same blank look.

Just as he said that, all of the Protoss stopped, most standing on a Gracian actor they had pinned on the grouned, then turned and gave the Lizasaur a blank look, then looked at eachother, then looked back at the Lizasaur.

Soldier:[mouthing] ACTORS.

Artanis unsuspectingly walks into the restaraunt in his ceremonial robes. He then stopped at the door and looked at the carnage ensueing.

Artanis: WHAT IN THE NAME IF AIUR!!!!

OOC: Toori, you get to play the Toorian vice manager. ;)

IC:

Manager: *whispers to Artanis* It's a reenactment of the second Grecian War.

*paratroopers paradrop next to customers showing them to their tables and taking their order as troops reenact battles in the background on stages and near the defensive position between the kitchen and the tables*

OOC:Is this still open?

OOC:Is this still open?

OOC: Yes it is. :p

OOC: Yes it is. :p

OOC:Is it ok if I join in then?

OOC:Is it ok if I join in then?

OOC: Of course, just RP your characters coming to dine, order a meal or if you want you can have your nation request a memorial day for wars Shakal has been in at a price of 3000 USD.

IC:


Manager: All nations are free to request a memorial day for us to reenact but reenactments aren't cheap, to request a memorial for a war you nation has been it the nation must pay 3000 USD so we can buy supplies, hire setmakers, interview veterans, hire historians and everything else needed for a grade A reenactment. Thank you for listening.

OOC:TALLY HO!

IC:

"O war reenactments you say?" Derrick (http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/e/e4/160px-Rommel_cadet.jpg) asked his wife as they stepped into the new restaraunt.

"Yup, and there only $3000 to." The Empress (http://www.buddytv.com/articles/deal_or_no_deal/images/leyla.jpg) said. "Thats why I got you to come." The Empress lookd around for an empty table. Her usual black dress on for any social event.

"Thats right just leave the commander of the entire Shakal navy holding the door for you two assholes." Grand Admiral Samantha Conners (http://teenist.com/galleries/postthm/tiffany3.jpg) said quiet enough so that noone else would here.

"Come on, you know we love you." The Empress said back as they sat. Derrick was already writing a list of potential war reenactments in his head. He sat deep in thought for several seconds unti lhe noticed his companions staring at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Your the man, your supposed to order the drinks." The Empress explained to him. He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Waiter!" He called waiting for the man to come service the triad.

OOC:TALLY HO!

IC:

"O war reenactments you say?" Derrick (http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/e/e4/160px-Rommel_cadet.jpg) asked his wife as they stepped into the new restaraunt.

"Yup, and there only $3000 to." The Empress (http://www.buddytv.com/articles/deal_or_no_deal/images/leyla.jpg) said. "Thats why I got you to come." The Empress lookd around for an empty table. Her usual black dress on for any social event.

"Thats right just leave the commander of the entire Shakal navy holding the door for you two assholes." Grand Admiral Samantha Conners (http://teenist.com/galleries/postthm/tiffany3.jpg) said quiet enough so that noone else would here.

"Come on, you know we love you." The Empress said back as they sat. Derrick was already writing a list of potential war reenactments in his head. He sat deep in thought for several seconds unti lhe noticed his companions staring at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Your the man, your supposed to order the drinks." The Empress explained to him. He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Waiter!" He called waiting for the man to come service the triad.

*a paratrooper landed behind the Grand Admiral*

Paratrooper: Corporal Robert 3rd Waiter Battallion sir! *hands him a map with a compass with coordinates* The coordinates for your table sir! May I take your order?

Derrick was alarmed as the Paratrooper landed behind Samantha.

"I will have a medium steak with caesar salad." Derrick said. He looked towards the Empress.

"I think ill have the same." She said. The Grand Admiral sat thinking for a moment.

"Im not one for fancy food, just give me two chili dogs fully loaded." She shrugged as Derrick snickered to himself.

Derrick was alarmed as the Paratrooper landed behind Samantha.

"I will have a medium steak with caesar salad." Derrick said. He looked towards the Empress.

"I think ill have the same." She said. The Grand Admiral sat thinking for a moment.

"Im not one for fancy food, just give me two chili dogs fully loaded." She shrugged as Derrick snickered to himself.

Waiter: Sir yes sir! Right away sir! *runs to the defensive position in order to get to the kitchen evading Grecian bullets and capture, after sumersaulting over a sandbag wall, shooting a few Grecians with his Garand M1 then crawling under a ditch carefully to ovoid being cut by barbed wire then goes to the kitchen.

(minutes later)

Man in a robe and turban with Middle Eastern accent: Did you order the chili dogs?

(kitchen)

Sergeant: ATENTION!

*chefs line up for inspection*

Sergeant:We have a 2 beef steak situation, now men, this all what you've been training for! You know what to do! Saddle up and move out!

As the sarge broke the news a few chefs started praying in their own religions as if they were about to go out on a live battlefield.

Chefs: Sir yes sir!

(field outside kitchen)

*chefs in cammo uniform tether two live cows to a stake then cleared the area. And inferno cannon then rolled onto the field. Then BOOM! Napalm was rained upon the cows, the troops then went to the aftermath minutes later and brought the meat back to the kitchen.

*chefs line up*

Sergeant: Bayonet! Hugh!

*chefs put on bayonets as sergeant unsheathes his sword*

Sergeant: CHARGE!!!!!

Everyone:YAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! *starts cutting up the steak with bayonets and sword*

Waiter: Sir yes sir! Right away sir! *runs to the defensive position in order to get to the kitchen evading Grecian bullets and capture, after sumersaulting over a sandbag wall, shooting a few Grecians with his Garand M1 then crawling under a ditch carefully to ovoid being cut by barbed wire then goes to the kitchen.

(minutes later)

Man in a robe and turban with Middle Eastern accent: Did you order the chili dogs?


Derrick watched the waiter go through an overly elaborate routine to get there order to the kitchen. He shook his head as the arab came up.

"Yes i ordered the Chili Dogs." Sam said holding up her hand. "Is there something wrong?"

Derrick watched the waiter go through an overly elaborate routine to get there order to the kitchen. He shook his head as the arab came up.

"Yes i ordered the Chili Dogs." Sam said holding up her hand. "Is there something wrong?"

Man: *tears off his own shirt to reveal tons of hotdogs tied to his chest to look like a vest of dynotyte* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *presses the button sending a frying surge of electicity into the dogs frying them and making them ready to serve* Enjoy the hotdogs errr ugh *dies*

OOC: He only killed himself, no one else.

Man: *tears off his shirt to reveal tons of hotdogs tied to his chest to look like a vest of dynotyte* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *presses the button sending a frying surge of electicity into the dogs frying them and making them ready to serve* Enjoy the hotdogs errr ugh *dies*

Derrick almost cried at the predictableness of the routine. Although he had to admit this, resteraunt went all the way, and he liked it. ANd from the way the Empress and Grand Admiral were laughing, they did to. Sam picked up her hot dogs and took a bit bite with a satifying chomp.

"Youve always likes wieners hey?" The Empress said joking.

"Expecially when I pick them off the dead bodies of the over fanactical Arabs." She said smiling taking another bite. "You can taste the fanaticism inside the food."

IC:

(kitchen)
Sergeant: Good work men! The battle for the two stakes maybe won but we still have to deal with the salads...

troops:*nervous gulp*

One soldier had the whole ingredients for the slalad, whole chickens, whole cabbage and lettuce and vegetable and e loaded them onto a B-17 WWII bomber, the bomer then flew over the 'drop zone' where a minigunner shot at the falling ingredients as they fell into a pit with a P-57 engine running in it, the engine was deactivated and the shredded ingredients now made a salad. The two salads were put in two bulletproof boxes, the waiter now had to infiltrate the enemy's defenses once more to bring the food to the empress.

The Empress watched as the man carrying there orders came running back. She couldnt believe the resteraunt actually expected to survive i nthe market like this. She looked at Derrick barly able to hold in a laugh. Samantha finished her first Chili Dog and licked her fingers.

"Almost tastes as good as you." She said to the Empress. As the food came closer.

OOC: Toori, you get to play the Toorian vice manager. ;)

IC:

Manager: *whispers to Artanis* It's a reenactment of the second Grecian War.

*paratroopers paradrop next to customers showing them to their tables and taking their order as troops reenact battles in the background on stages and near the defensive position between the kitchen and the tables*

Artanis: That would be to explination. Warrior! Find me a suitable pirtch! *he said to a lizasaur*

Deputy Prime Minister Mohammed Javaid walked into the restaurant, he thought,
"Is this it?"
He was startled by the action. Mohammed immediately fell down and thought he was back in 'Nam, whatever that means. The Deputy Prime Minister fell down in the fetal position and started crying.

John sat down and saw the re-enactor's and said "This is awesome, can I have a hamburger, with meat cooked well done, and a vanillia shake?"

The New Brittonian Marshalls whispered, "Snap out of it, Mohammed."
He said, "No, I want my blankie." and continued crying.

Artanis: That would be to explination. Warrior! Find me a suitable pirtch! *he said to a lizasaur*

IC:

Lizasaurian actor: Yes sir! *does it*

John sat down and saw the re-enactor's and said "This is awesome, can I have a hamburger, with meat cooked well done, and a vanillia shake?"

IC:

Once again a paratrooper landed behind the customer.

Paratrooper: Corporal Johnston, 2nd Waiter Battallion reporting for duty sir! *hands him the same map with a compass only with different coordinates leading to his table* Here are the coordinates to your table. One burger, well done, and a vannilaa shake. Affirmitive! *runs to the defensive position ovoiding enemy fire, jumps over a sandbag wall crawls in a trench under barbed wire to the kitchen* Sir we have a burger situation, I have special orders, the meat must be well done, repeat! WELL DONE!

Sergeant: Oh my God! :eek:

Corporal Johnston: And he'd like a shake!

Sergeant: Stations people! *everyone pickets another cow in the field as everyone gets in position* *puts on his helmet and arms his LAW rocket launcher* Ok you son of a cow! Your grounded! *shoots a frag rocket down it's throat* FIRE IN THE HOLE! *everyone takes cover as the bomb explodes and as shrapnel grinds it's innards* COVER AND FIRE! *the entire squad of chefs start shooting into it with their automatic weapons frinding up the meat further* BAYONET! HUGH! *everyone arms bayonets* CHARGE! *everyone bayonets the dead carcass continually until the meat resembles the inside of a pumpkin* Good work men! Lets get this mean well done! Get clear people!

Just then the inferno cannon rolled onto the hill once more and fired napalm at the dead cow. A soldier looked at the carcass with high tech infrared binoculars.

Soldier: Iron Chef! Come in Iron Chef this is "ground" patrol! Do you copy? *next to the green words "status:" appeared the words "well done" in red. Checking out the target sir the status is...well done.

Sergeant: We copy ground patrol, get the meat to coordinates x54,y67!

Soldier: Yes sir! *takes the completely blackened meat and brings it back to the kitchen where two chefs are making the rest of the sandwich*

Two chefs were facing each other.

Sergeant: BREAD! HUGH!

*one chef holds the bread*

Sergeant: BAYONET! HUGH!

*other chef arms bayonet*

Sergeant: CHARGE!

The other chef then had the bun impaled on the bayonet which he twisted a bit to make seprating the two pieces of bread easy. The sarge turned to a scarecrow set up in the kitchen dressed in rebel clothing with it's arms tied to the stake with a lettuce head as the head.

Sergeant: Where are your rebel friends now?!?!?!? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Firing squad! *chefs with bolt action rifles line up* READY! *gun cocking* AIM! FIRE!!!!!! *gunshots*

The bullets hit the lettuce, the sarge quickly grabbed a leaf of lettuce and put in in the bread.

Sergeant: You know the drill! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!

The chefs put the sandwich together in a manner that a soldier would assemble a gun with just the parts with sincere grim looks on their faces, blindfolded and with lots of discipline, by the time they were finished the burger looked like any normal burger except for the blackened meat. The chefs placed it in a bulletproof box. The sarge then saluted the burger and placed a medal of honor in the box next to it and placed a South Lizasaurian flag on a toothpick on it through the center and started humming the South Lizasaurian national anthem, the rest joined him except the paratrooper whose job was to infiltrate the enemy's defenses and deliver the food.

Sergeant: Now, for the milk shake...

Mohammed Javaid's sences calmed down. He stood up and said,
"What's going on? Am I suppossed to kill me some charlie again?"

The Diplomatic Security guard thought,
"He was never in 'Nam, he is 35. He saw too many movies. I can't believe I have him for a job."

IC:

Minigunner: Milkshake commencing!

A giant block of ice was positioned in firing range of the mini gun, a wall of bullets hit the ice shredding it. The chefs then took scoops of the ground up ice and put it in a giant vat with the other ingredients for the milkshake. The minigunner pulled the trigger to make the barrels spin but not the one to fire then lowered the barrel into the vat mixing it up real good making a milkshake, the milkshake was put into an RPG shell and placed in an RPG, it was given to a soldier who went halfway then stopped once taking a sandbag bunker, he aimed ten feet over John's head then fired, a parachute came out of the back part of the shell making the shell land gently in front of John. Now all John needed to do was to unscrew the top part of the shell and enjoy the contents[milkshake].

John opened the shell, and drank his milkshake and said "This is super!, this is cool, thank's men!" Next he accepted his burger, and said "Also super, this is cool, thank's for shooting the cow!" He started to eat the burger.

Mohammed Javaid's sences calmed down. He stood up and said,
"What's going on? Am I suppossed to kill me some charlie again?"

The Diplomatic Security guard thought,
"He was never in 'Nam, he is 35. He saw too many movies. I can't believe I have him for a job."

A paratrooper overheard and landed behind him.

Paratrooper: Nam? Vietnam? Oh yeah, we have the Vietnam war memorial next week. There'll be villagers shooting soldiers, soldiers shooting villagers and best of all little children will be running around with AK-47s. *thumbs up*

Unfortunately due to this waiter's asperger's syndrome he failed to understand he aggravated the situation instead of calming Javaid down.

The guard screamed,
"LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
as Mohammed Javaid started yelling,
"Seargent, I have failed you!!!!! DIE CHARLIE!!!!!!!!"
Mohammed then pretended his fingers were gubns and started to make shooting noises.

The guard said,
"God, kill me."

The guard screamed,
"LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
as Mohammed Javaid started yelling,
"Seargent, I have failed you!!!!! DIE CHARLIE!!!!!!!!"
Mohammed then pretended his fingers were gubns and started to make shooting noises.

The guard said,
"God, kill me."

OOC: Should I have an accident occur resulting in the death of the guard as a joke or have God's finger appear out of heaven and squish him? It would add to the hilarity and ICly give the cafe more publicity. :D

IC:
John said "May I have a banana cream pie for dessert please?" He was very pleased with this resturant so far, and hoped that they would open a chain of these in Calizorinstan.

IC:
John said "May I have a banana cream pie for dessert please?" He was very pleased with this resturant so far, and hoped that they would open a chain of these in Calizorinstan.

Manager: (on a loudspeaker) Greetings everyone, this is the commanding officer of this facility and the commander who ordered the opening and liberation of this patch of land your dining in. If any of you are interested in requesting chains in your nations, discussing war memorials or any other business you may discuss it in the command bunker next to the armory with either I or the LT Colonel aka the vice manager. Good day and good luck.

Paratrooper: Banana cream pie! Affirmative! *makes long and tedious journey to the kitchen

John looked around and said to the paratrooper just coming back with the banana cream pie "Your shake and burger were delicous, thank you sir." Being used to the atmosphere of the cafe, he saluted the paratrooper.

OOC: Should I have an accident occur resulting in the death of the guard as a joke or have God's finger appear out of heaven and squish him? It would add to the hilarity and ICly give the cafe more publicity. :D

God's finger

John looked around and said to the paratrooper just coming back with the banana cream pie "Your shake and burger were delicous, thank you sir." Being used to the atmosphere of the cafe, he saluted the paratrooper.

Paratrooper: Just doing my part sir! *pulls out Garand M1 and shoots at an enemy reenactor who falls to the ground faking his death*

The guard said to the paratrooper,
"WHAT AE YOU DOING, ARE YOU RETARDED!!!!!!!!!! tHIS MAN IS EMORTINALLY UNSTABLE AND THE ONLY REASON HE IS THE DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER IS BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE DIVERSITY IN THE POT AND YOU ARE MAKING HIM WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"


Javaid ran around, yelling
"Die Charlie!!!!"

The other guard said,
"You got any Doritos by any chance?"

God's finger

OOC: OK :D

OOC: ICly God did bless the Reformers during the Second Grecian war and talked with General Warfrog [A South Lizasaurian revolutionaiire, political leader and war hero] and helped him make decisions on the fronts.

IC:

Just then God's finger went through the ceiling without damaging it as if it was a giant ghost, the customers thought it was a hologramatic display, judging by the effort put into the cafe already it wouldn't be surprising if they did put in a hologramatic machine to simulate God blessing the Reformer soldiers as legend says He did during the Second Grecian war. But the weird thing was the finger once coming upon the guard crushed him as if the finger was solid but if moved through everything else like a ghost then as mysteriously as it appeared it left. Even the cafe personnel were baffled, for a while the fighting stopped and everyone stopped what there were doing and watched this miracle.

The guard said to the paratrooper,
"WHAT AE YOU DOING, ARE YOU RETARDED!!!!!!!!!! tHIS MAN IS EMORTINALLY UNSTABLE AND THE ONLY REASON HE IS THE DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER IS BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE DIVERSITY IN THE POT AND YOU ARE MAKING HIM WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"


Javaid ran around, yelling
"Die Charlie!!!!"

The other guard said,
"You got any Doritos by any chance?"

The paratrooper who heard the order said "right away" but it wasn't right away because the giant finger through the ceiling caught everyone's attention for the moment.

Javaid stood up and said,
"Allah Akhbar!!!!! So. . . am I at the resturant, military dude?"


The other guard said,
"Holy shit!"

John walked over to the manager near the command bunker, oblivous to the finger of god, and said "I am interested in you opening up a chain of these "Arsenal Cafe's" in Calizorinstan, in San Diego, Alpine and Descanso, can be the inital launch towns."

John walked over to the manager near the command bunker, oblivous to the finger of god, and said "I am interested in you opening up a chain of these "Arsenal Cafe's" in Calizorinstan, in San Diego, Alpine and Descanso, can be the inital launch towns."

Manager: I shall deploy as soon as possible sir! *salutes*

Bump

IC:

The paratrooper after infiltrating the defenses went to the cupboard, a strange box was wired to it, he had to cut the right wire to open it, any false move and the whole kitchen would be nuked. After sweating for a few seconds he cut the red wire and the door opened with a computerized voice saying "unauthorized entrance detected" he then had to wrestle a few enemies and then load the doritos into a shell which he would fire above the guards head. Once doing so a parachute would make it land safely in front of him so he can open it and get the bag inside.

After the hand disappeared there was an investigation by the South Lizasaurian police, upon finding out that no hologramatic technology of equipment was found it was known that God himself entered the Arsenal Cafe. Many of the reenactors and personell especiall the manager and vice manager felt honored that God would "help out in the reenactment". For God played a major role in the second Grecian war and He also showed himself during it's reenactment. The manager decided that to honor God he'd plan a special memorial, preferable the Great Crusades.

"Mmmmm", the guard said, "I love the spicy ranch ones!", as he ate some.

Javaid ate some Doritos and then said,

"So what is the house special?"

Derrick finished off his meal and set his utensils down. He leaned back in his chair before speaking. "Sam's right, it does taste almost as good as you." The Empress giggled.

"Still, gotta love the heart they put into this place." Sam said looking around. The way the owners stuck to the theme impressed her.

"Mmmmm", the guard said, "I love the spicy ranch ones!", as he ate some.

Javaid ate some Doritos and then said,

"So what is the house special?"

OOC: LOL, the two specials are the Kubran fruit salad (made from Kubra's atomic fruit) and the Vice Chancelllor's Ice Cream special (note that the current Vice Chancellor this special is named after has a taste for destroying things in messed up ways and is notorious for meaningless destruction)

IC:

Paratrooper: Sir! The specials are the Kubran fruit salad and the Vice Chancellor's Ice cream Salad Sir! Please confirm whether or not you'd like the specials sir!

"Is the fruit radioactive?", Javaid asked

"Is the fruit radioactive?", Javaid asked

Paratrooper: I beleive so sir!

"Can I have normal food, but something halal please.", Javaid asked.

Soldier:[mouthing] ACTORS.

The Protoss stood there, looking at the Lizasaur with the same blank look, when one of them in deep blue armor spoke, "Fah! Heathenous Gracians!!! They are reproducing fakelings!!!!

Protoss zealot: I WILL SPILL YOUR BLOOD!!!

Another zealot: FOR TASSADAR!!!!

All of the zealots let out a massive battle cry while mowing the mass of Gracian actors over as they were utterly slaughtered, "RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""""

Derrick watched as the Protoss chopped up the actors in the resteraunt. He sighed and looked at his wife. The Empress shared his blank look, but Derrick held her gaze forcing her ees to stay away from the sight of blood, the last hing the Empire needed was an incident where the Empress went Vampire and bathed in the deceased persons blood. She licked her lips and Derrick shook his head slightly.

Sam knew the Empress was going through one of her fits again. By the way Derrick was handling it he wanted to be discreet, Sam wasnt one for subtleties. She pulled the Empress over and kissed her quickly. That would distract her.

The Protoss stood there, looking at the Lizasaur with the same blank look, when one of them in deep blue armor spoke, "Fah! Heathenous Gracians!!! They are reproducing fakelings!!!!

Protoss zealot: I WILL SPILL YOUR BLOOD!!!

Another zealot: FOR TASSADAR!!!!

All of the zealots let out a massive battle cry while mowing the mass of Gracian actors over as they were utterly slaughtered, "RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""""

IC:

Vice Manager[Toorian]: C'mon! Do you know how much actors cost?! :eek:

OOC: The Vice Manager is your character Toori. ;)

OOC2: The actors are not really Grecian, they are only pretending to be.

"Can I have normal food, but something halal please.", Javaid asked.

Paratrooper: Halal? What's Halal sir?! The term wasn't mentioned once during basic training sir!

Paratrooper: Halal? What's Halal sir?! The term wasn't mentioned once during basic training sir!

"Halal, confirming to the Muslim dietary laws, which I am one. . . a Muslim." Javaid said

IC:

Menu:

Meats:

Ground Beef
Fried pork (choice between cooked alive or cooked dead)
Terrorist hotdogs(comes with one dead terrorist, just for entertainment)
Chicken strips
Turkey with stuffing

Deserts:
Kubran fruit salad
Milk Shake
Slushie
Large Cake(for special occasions only like Birthdays, anniversaries and such)
Protoss Pudding
Banana Split
Vice Chancellor's Ice Cream Special (If you get the lucky poison pellet you win a free squirt gun and free medical care ;) )





OOC: (still updating)

"Halal, confirming to the Muslim dietary laws, which I am one. . . a Muslim." Javaid said

Paratrooper: Here is the menu sir! *hands him menu*

bump for customers

Paratrooper: Here is the menu sir! *hands him menu*

Ok. . . I want grilled chicken or beef steak, well done, but I only want it if it came from a kosher butcher. If not then I want a garden salad with Italian dressing.

Ok. . . I want grilled chicken or beef steak, well done, but I only want it if it came from a kosher butcher. If not then I want a garden salad with Italian dressing.

Paratrooper:Garden salad with Italian dressing...ROGER! *salutes and makes his perilous journey to the kitchen*

(kitchen)

Paratrooper: Sir! We need a garden salad with Italian dressing in sector 2!

Sergeant: Battlestations everyone! FIRE AT WILL!!!

There was a cart filled with various vegetables, a line soldiers shot at it with FN SCARs until everything was all sliced up.

Sergeant: FIRE! HALT! Corporal! *gives a stern and serious look* You know what to do...

Corporal: Yes sir!

The Corporal took a German hand grenade and tinkered with it so it make a harmless explosion of ranch dressing. The paratrooper took slices and bits of various vegetables to make the garden salad then placed it into a bullet proofed container. He then brought it to Javaidonce he had the grenade. Upon putting the open bulletproofed box on the table with the salad inside he threw the grenade into the salad and shouted "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Dressing then flew everywhere within a three meter radius.

Paratrooper:Garden salad with Italian dressing...ROGER! *salutes and makes his perilous journey to the kitchen*

(kitchen)

Paratrooper: Sir! We need a garden salad with Italian dressing in sector 2!

Sergeant: Battlestations everyone! FIRE AT WILL!!!

There was a cart filled with various vegetables, a line soldiers shot at it with FN SCARs until everything was all sliced up.

Sergeant: FIRE! HALT! Corporal! *gives a stern and serious look* You know what to do...

Corporal: Yes sir!

The Corporal took a German hand grenade and tinkered with it so it make a harmless explosion of ranch dressing. The paratrooper took slices and bits of various vegetables to make the garden salad then placed it into a bullet proofed container. He then brought it to Javaidonce he had the grenade. Upon putting the open bulletproofed box on the table with the salad inside he threw the grenade into the salad and shouted "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Dressing then flew everywhere within a three meter radius.

Javaid licked his lips, there was dressing on them. . . and his face. . . and his suit. . . and everything else in a three meter radius. He then are the salad.

"Excellent", he said, I'm trying to lose weight so can I have a diet Pepsi?"

Javaid licked his lips, there was dressing on them. . . and his face. . . and his suit. . . and everything else in a three meter radius. He then are the salad.

"Excellent", he said, I'm trying to lose weight so can I have a diet Pepsi?"

Paratrooper: Affirmitive! *rushes to the kitchen avoiding gunfire* Sir! We need a diet pepsi in sector two sir!

Sergeant: Oh my God! *activated walkie talkie* Get the special forces...NOW!


The fridge was down a seemingly innocent cement corridor. A special forces guy threw a tiny rock down the corridor, tons of hidden laser, rocket, flamethrower, and machingun traps annihilated it. The special ops guy made like James Bond and somersaulted around enemy fire athletically evading and destroying every trap. At the end of the corridor lay a box wired to the fridge like the one on the cupboard. After cutting the right wires he took the diet pepsi and loaded it into a flak shell which was loaded into a flak cannon and aimed it at Javaid's table, he fired it ten feet over Javais, the shell made a flak explosion and the drink landed in front of Javaid gently because of the parachute.

"Ahhhhh. . .", Javaid said. "Hey,, is this the only one of these or is it a chain?"

"Ahhhhh. . .", Javaid said. "Hey,, is this the only one of these or is it a chain?"

Paratrooper: Sir, so far this is the only one but *hands Javaid maps of the new ones being built in countries who requested a chain* new facilities are under construction in these areas sir.

Derrick laughed as his wife pulled out of the kiss. Trust Sam to do things so brazen and foolhardy. He looked towards the Zealots and liked the equipment they carried. Sam noticed his laughter and looked.

"What? It owrked didnt it?" She said haughtily. "Now lets get some desert..."

John said "Could I have a cherry pie for a last dessert please? Thank you!"

Paratrooper: Sir, so far this is the only one but *hands Javaid maps of the new ones being built in countries who requested a chain* new facilities are under construction in these areas sir.

So. . . . can I get some in New Brittonia?

John said "Could I have a cherry pie for a last dessert please? Thank you!"

OOC: Toori, it's your turn to serve orders. ;) You ICly own half the franchise and are in half command remember?

Javaid jumped past trenches, to find the manager's office.

So. . . . can I get some in New Brittonia?

OOC: Yes, just have Javaid go to the manager's office to request chains in New Brittonia.

A Lizasaurian sheff behind the counter jumps up with his M1A Springfield. "Sarge! Its time for desert!!"

Sarge: WHAT IN SAM HELL ARE WE WAITIN FOR THEAN?!?!? CALL IT IN!!


*Lizasaurian minigunners start shooting bannana splits to all of the tables, covering them in mess.*


Fat lady costumer: I WANT WIPCREAM ON MY BANNANANNANANYA SPLITS!!!!


Protoss warrior activates a communication device: Requesting orbital strike on grid Kilo 177, Mike 2.05.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, in orbit over the Arsenal Cafe':....


*A protoss capitol ship fires one of its orbital weapons down at the restaraunt, only instead of supper heated plasma comming out, a massive stream of whipped cream shoots down through the cafe's roof.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


*everyone and everything is covered in whipcream.*

Manager: (on a loudspeaker) Greetings everyone, this is the commanding officer of this facility and the commander who ordered the opening and liberation of this patch of land your dining in. If any of you are interested in requesting chains in your nations, discussing war memorials or any other business you may discuss it in the command bunker next to the armory with either I or the LT Colonel aka the vice manager. Good day and good luck.

Paratrooper: Banana cream pie! Affirmative! *makes long and tedious journey to the kitchen

OOC: These are the instructions the Manager gave for reaching his office.

Javaid jumped past trenches, to find the manager's office.

IC:

A reformist trooper pretended to decaptate three Grecian reenactos with his fake bayonet and shot at several others with blanks causing one to fall.

Soldier: Sir! This is the combat zone, you seem a bit lost, may I help you with anything?!

I need to find the manager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

A well dressed young man wearing sunglasses and carrying a briefcase walked into the cafe. He went up to the first person he thought worked there and asked to see the proprietor of the establishment.

A well dressed young man wearing sunglasses and carrying a briefcase walked into the cafe. He went up to the first person he thought worked there and asked to see the proprietor of the establishment.

OOC: The Colonel is the manager.

IC:

Soldier: Sir! The officer in command of this installation is the Colonel Sir! His command center is right next to the armory over there! *points*

I need to find the manager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Soldier: It's that command bunker right next to the armory!

The man walked over to the colonel and opened his briefcase on the table, which had a number of pictures and some samples in it.
"Hello. I am from Phoenix Dynamix and I have a offer to make you.
Phoenix Dynamix can manufacture a number of military themed food service goods for your little cafe here.
We are offering great deals on the following:
flamethrower grill
mortar base plate plates
bayonet steak knives
shovel shaped spoons
machine gun tripod serving tray stands
chuck wagon desert carts
smoke grenade mugs
artillery shell bowls
and many others
So what do you say?"

The man walked over to the colonel and opened his briefcase on the table, which had a number of pictures and some samples in it.
"Hello. I am from Phoenix Dynamix and I have a offer to make you.
Phoenix Dynamix can manufacture a number of military themed food service goods for your little cafe here.
We are offering great deals on the following:
flamethrower grill
mortar base plate plates
bayonet steak knives
shovel shaped spoons
machine gun tripod serving tray stands
chuck wagon desert carts
smoke grenade mugs
artillery shell bowls
and many others
So what do you say?"

Colonel: *gives a nutty yet serious look* It's a deal soldier! *salutes*

Colonel: So how much will it cost for this new state of the art equipment?

"Looks like they dont like giving deserts..." Sam said looking around sadly. She really wanted a nice big milkshake.

"I still dont understand how you stay that good looking and fine even though all you do is stuff your face all day." Derrick said to his friend. "Its easy for Kristina, shes a vampire, how much weight can she gain with a metabolizm that works at 500% normal rate?"

"Maybe she made me one to?" Samantha said winking.

"That would have to be the worst thing that could ever happen to me, sleeping with two vampires..." Derrick added before getting up. He watched the man from The Pheonix Militia enter the store and talk to the colonel. Derrick decided he wanted to open some of these in the Empire, the revenue would make it easier to buy guys, which meant that more wars would happen, which meant more stores would open. It was a beautiful cycle of self creating income.

John observed Sam and Derrick walk in and said "Hullo, I am John Macked, Foreign Minister of Calizorinstan, pleasure to meet you, and you" He bowed to Sam, and he shook Derrick's hand, and he said "It's been a laugh riot, watching them cook my burger!"

Sam gigled. This man had bowed to her, a Grand Admiral ,but not to the Empress, this would prove almost as amusing as watching the method the cooks use in this resteraunt.

"Thank you sir, our steaks were a riot also. I plan to have 250 of these in the Empire before the weeks end." Derrick said to the John. He noticed Sams laugh and shook his head. "I suggest taking 2.34 steps backwards then covering your face in 3.1 seconds." Derrick whispered. As he finished a noise sprung up. Two giant wings came flying toawrds John and were trying to trap him inside them.

OOC:Just do what Derrick said. I need fun.

John did as Derrick said, he took 2.34 step's backward's, and in 3.1 second's he covered his face, and he laughed for some reason's.

The wings missed him by a mere 3mm and in under the alloted time the Shakal Empress was standing in front of him. She glared with squinted eyes.

"Im just joking John, no need to hide from me. I mean what would I do? Suck your blood?" The Empress slit eyes glowed red and her wings furled in twitching. Her extra sharp teeth glinted with the juice of the recently eaten steak. She licked the end of her teeth and smiled.

"She is just trying to scare you." Derrick said rolling his eyes.

John said "Yeah, I know, I am having by the end of this week 400 of these open in Calizorinstan...., I think Sam is very pretty!" He bowed slightly, and pulled a chair up and said "I've been fighting zombie's for the last couple of weeks, so that's why I am sweating right now..."

Colonel: So how much will it cost for this new state of the art equipment?


"We can give you everything for $70,000" ;) the man said with a smile.

"We can give you everything for $70,000" ;) the man said with a smile.

Colonel: Lt. Colonel!

LT Colonel: Yes sir?

Colonel: give this man $70k from our treasury.

LT Colonel: Yes sir!

The (somewhat) fashionably late Kiravians enter the restaurant.
"Sir?", Tristell asks, "Is this what you expected?"

"No," Ambassador Vorms replies, picking a hot dog off of a dead Arab on the floor,"But the sausage is excellent"

OOC: LMAO, this thread was halarious when it lasted.