NationStates Jolt Archive

You know your from the Blackhelm Confederacy if...

1) You either work for or thoroughly approve of the Griffincrest Corporation, or are a Communist.

2) If you don't live in Divinity, you hate the people who do and think they are an ass backwards Commie haven.

3) You have been to Paradise City at least once, and never wanted to leave it.

4) You have an extreme distrust for foreigners.

5) You know where there are several Muslim hideouts, and wonder why the police haven't realized their existence yet.

6) You miss the old days, when Exponent was an Empire.

7) You, and all of your buddies, go out shootin' with your militia pals on weekends.

8) You have the best tavern right on your street, and no matter what anyone else says yours is better.

9) You find yourself praying for even the smallest of things and hoping God pulls through.

10) Hurtians really bother you.

You know from The Macabees if ...

1. You're a goddamn pimp.

Like to point out this has been done at: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=467816

Like to point out this has been done at: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=467816

so that last year

You live on a farm

You have astraphobia

You can speak English and Japanese more than Kurma

You have saild Xanadou more than anyother person has ever sailed

You own a machine gun or at least know someone who does

You know electricity is something of books and stories

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_thunder_(sound_effect) Thunder[/url] sounds much diffrent to you than the rest of the world.

You've likely never seen an aircraft

You know you must always adress Her Highness as such.

You have a root cellear instead of a basement.

You've probably been shooken awake by the sound of a deafening roar, a bad storm, or a tornado siren

Your not afraid to trod about half-naked

You own a Kimono and a pair of overalls.

you know your Isan Clone soldier when your looking at you face an theres no mirror in front of you

You know you are from Siap if...

1.) You consider a blood-alcohol content of 0.27 to be "slightly drunk."

2.) You fear people from Blake's Point.

3.) Everybody has a friend of a cousin working for "Those creepy fucks..."

4.) You are suprised to find out that some people actually speak less than 5 languages.

5.) Your mother can and regularly does outdrink you.

6.) Somebody in your family served in The Pacification.

7.) You'll pay 50% income tax and feel good about yourself, but throw a fit for paying more than approx. $40 for a nice pair of shoes.

8.) You've served in the armed services, fought fires or were a paramedic.

9.) Pepper onion soup with garlic tea is one of your favorite breakfasts.

10.) You know someone who died in bootcamp.

11.) You read the "Trib", and all the others are trash.

12.) You know someone who "works for the government" and doesn't sleep because of it.

Think Red, Black, and Gold are the Primary Colors.

Fall down on your face every time someone says Holy, Emperor, or Most.

Consider yourself to live on an island nation, but have never actually seen the ocean.

Make less money than the local police, regardless of your education level/profession.

Think Nhak Tolvar I is the second most awesome person on the planet.

Swear by the "Correctness of the Emperor."

1. You love iced tea with a passion

2. You can do binary functions in your head

3. You know that the Vetalian national anthem is actually the East German anthem with different lyrics.

4. You believe anything can be solved with enough money

5. You enjoy military parades

6. You have a robot friend and cybernetic implants

7. You know that the only people in the country driving Anza F625s are either government or mafia.

8. Lounge music is still popular

9. You know how to tie a tie no fewer than four ways

Swear by the "Correctness of the Emperor."

nice.

You know your from Leocardia, when...

1. The female cops wear the latest fashion, while the male cops wear the latest SWAT fashion.

2. Schools give students a grade on how well they keep the campus clean.

3. The Internet is called "The Net."

4. Having more than 10 kids is considered royal.

5. Wealth must be given to the poor.

6. It's either you become Communist, or die.

7. The army is full of people who have a 4.0 GPA.

8. The Government spends more on Law and Order than the military.

You know you're from ViZion if...

-You studder every time someone brings up the memories of Terror of the World or Angelic Freedom
-You think the ex-President Villian is still the most wanted ViZionarian in the world
-You feel Acigoo is something you'd gladly kill someone over
-You feel the Jaro-ViZo Alliance remains the greatest alliance of all time
-You would rather speak your true feelings than "fit in"
-You think Chiefy is still the greatest leader of all time in any nation
-You think anything below a 4.0 grade point is considered failure
-You can out-eat even the hungriest Jarridian in Texas
-You think the Doomini and his evil allies are nothing but pricks who feel they have to pick fights to make themselves feel bigger (lol)
-You can't imagine living in a world outside ViZion even though you love visiting those "other" countries to see how they live - But you'd gladly have them move into ViZion.
-You couldn't imagine ViZion not having anything but the biggest of everything in the world

If you can tell the border patrol officers to get their slimy asses off your ship before you put them out the airlock, without taking the cigar out of your mouth, or putting down your coffee, you might be a Terran.

If you've ever driven anything with more than 7 liters displacement(engine), and you aren't in the military, you might be a Solari.

If you've ever had to explain stellar directions using terms such as "thataway", or "haul ass fer the...", you might be a Confederate.

If you actually know what someone means when they tell you to "Haul ass fer the...", you might be a Terran.

If you've ever had to turn down sexual advances from anything with less than 6 limbs, that didn't speak your language, you might be a Solari.

If you've ever made sexual advances on something that had more than 4 limbs, and didn't speak your language, you might be a Confederate.

If you have ever resolved a diplomatic quarrel by executing the leader of a foreign power and walking out unmolested, you might be a Terran.

If you've ever had to use the words "Mechanical Violation" in a serious conversation, you might be Solari.

If you've ever had something mechanical accuse you of violating it, you might be a Confederate.

If your house cost less than your truck, you might be a Terran.

If any of these apply to you more than once, you might be Miehmish.

You know your from Rastoria if...

-You work for a multi-billion dollar company and do not have any health benefits package.

-The word Outfit means the organized crime fraternity not the cloths you are wearing..

-You probably know people that know people that can make things happen…

-You have had to pay protection money to several shady people every couple of months.

-You are unfazed when you see a dead body with bullet holes or stab wounds…

-You are frustrated because the cops won’t let you have a damn drink at the Tavern..

-The Unions are just as corrupt as the companies and take your dues without lifting a finger to help you out.

-The word Boss is a position of respect and if you meet one you better treat him like god..

-You probably owe or know someone that owes the mobster across the street for some illegal service rendered.

-You probably own an illegal firearm and use it on a regular basis when the cops try to frame you for substance abuse.

OOC: I've had years to think about this especially since my stories and books are focussed around my IC nation.

IC:

You know your from South Lizasauria when...

1) You drone on about your nation and it's ups and downs nonstop

2) If you hate Baptists, Liberals, Cultists, Grecia, Lesbania (those two nations are ICly racially bigoted against by South Lizasaurians on other forums)

3) (applies to human citezens) If you have a strange obsession with the life cycle and find slightly overweight women attractive

4) If you beleive it is right to stop someone from killing himself then kill him that way he may be in peace instead of rotting in hell

5) (applies to Muglav province) If you are scrappy, paranoid and tend to seem apathetic even though you have more emotion than others

6) (applies to lower provinces and Godhaven) If you are seen as a niceguy or pushover in public but a mean right wing monster on forums or in private conversation

7) (lower provinces and Godhaven) If you don't need to try hard to be successful

8) (Brumerhaven) If your religion is questionable to other South Lizasaurians and you have ways that are outside societal norms in South Lizasauria

9) If you think Reformo Fascism is ok/great and fight for it even though all your allies raise a white flag.

10) If people hate you for being under a meritocratic government that has a military, economy and populace way larger than that of their nation

11) (applies to Muglav, Kraigel's territory, and the parts under First Wavers) If your xenophobic and think that its best to invade any nations with very little stimulus to ensure that they don't invade your nation first.

12) when your accent has lots of "v" or "vis" sounds in it or lacks the "h" sound in many words

12) (muglav) If your evil and sadistic on the outside but really you are a confused drunkard with morals

13) (lower provinces) If fear influences you more than reason and you stand in the way of progress and innovation even though it is absolutely promising.

14) If you think tea is medicinal and have a obsession yet respect for the paranormal

15) If you make fun of other people from other South Lizasaurian provinces yet still claim to be of the "Empire of Brotherhood"

16) If most of the hentei from the Asian parts is replaced by the Anime Maternity channel :eek: (lol I said earlier they are obsessed with the life cycle)

17) Have a devotion to at least one of the following: values, family, superiors, elders, brotherhood, hatred to all the nations South Lizasauria hates, leadership, science, innovation, religion, philosphy, entertainment, an free will.

18) If the solution to everything for a man is to shoot or kill it, the solution for the woman (from muglav) is to kill it or hide in the corner (from lower provinces and Godhaven) to wine and get her male friends to kill it or get out a pitchfork

19) Demand a parade for every tiny achievement won

20) If you fought in the army and are a guy

21) If your a female soldier and purposefully got knocked up so you would be allowed to leave the army permanently

22) If cops are more well equipped than the army

23) If the army is nearly mentioned every day in polite conversation

24) If you are any of the following: a skilled pilot, railroad worker of some sort, specialise in on stage entertainment, act like a mix between German, British, Russian and Asian, is weapons designer or good in the think tanks or military.

25) If you think Japan, and Britain should rule earth

26) If you see earth as insuperior and idiotic compared to the South Lizasaurian empire.

27) Are good at making people laugh

28) (Reformo revolution and before) If you have straight sex a whole lot during hard times in hopes that your offspring will survive when you die and also to releive stress.

29) repsect ancestry

30) beleive in purpose and looks to scientific and philosophical evidence to bring one's hopes up

31) always react to situations involving cults and groups by barricading your family in and giving them guns

32) when the police are smarter than the average citezen and government officials are paid more to keep them from accepting bribes and to destroy corruption

33) if you demand to see South Lizasaurian specialists only during an emergency

34) If you suck at driving

35) (Muglav) If your two seconds late in responses unless it involves fighting and violence

35) If "bastard" or "smeghead" or "wanker" replace the Philipine term "para bali"

36) (Muglav) If you think annoying girls is flirting

37) (Reformo revolution) If your a soldier and notorious for blowing the girls whose house you've blown up or husband killed.

38) Find the ridiculas and random as hilarious and praise the media when it makes things ridiuclas and random

39) (lower provinces and Godhaven) When you seem pushoever to foreigners but then turn out to be more combat effective and more efficient than they are when the time comes

40) If you are good at McGeivering stuff together

41) If you put anything in curries

42) If you are moralistic in the way the "New Catholic Church" is in South Lizasauria

You know you're an Otagian if...

...Your gun collection is only rivaled by your Allanean neighbor.

...The local police are more heavily armed than the Army.

...There's a reason the local police need to be more heavily armed than the army.

...You recognise the irony of your intense dislike for American culture, yet you still hate it.

...You're more afraid of the rats than being mugged.

...You'd be insane if you weren't afraid of the local rats.

...The rats once ate your pet dog...

...And that dog was a great dane.

...You've gotten injected with more virii (albeit dead virii) than most people encounter in their entire lives.

...You are actually glad for these injections.



You know you're a Citizen under QUETZAL if...

...The phrase "day job" is an entirely foreign concept.

..."Punt the Ewok" is a socially acceptable sport.

...You've seen more of the universe on your honeymoon than most sentients do in a life time.

...You know why the words "buddy system" are no laughing matter when travelling faster than light.

...You've made prank calls to a Citizen ten thousand lightyears away...

...And they came by to yell at you in person a few minutes later.

You know you are Stratorian if...

You are a mindless worker drone that has unknowingly become the tool of their government and has the capacity to think only what aids the almighty lord and destroyer who you follow without question

... I guess you won't know if you are Stratorian

you know your a Isan prisoner when you are in Hells Gate and you don't get to see that Sky till your times up,if you do see it early you must be on death row

You know you're Nicksyllvanian if...

...your food rations contains a green slime with sharp teeth that attempts to eat you.

...you drink more alchohol then water.

...mushrooms growing in your underground room make good light snacks.

...you greet your neighbour and invite them to dinner, even if they are a secret policeman.

...you beat you're son for crying and recieve tax credit.

...you haven't seen the sun in 6 months.

...you see a dead dog, and you call the local butcher.

...you see a dead person, and you call the local butcher.

...you must run through an obstacle course to get to the voting booth.

...you engaged in ritual combat with someone for you're wife.

...you engaged in ritual combat with someone for the last bag of peas.

...an execution is a massive social event complete with hotdog vendors.

...at the execution, you attempt to catch the severed head of the criminal as it is thrown to the crowd.

...you have only 4 choices of juice available (lemon, lime, lemon-lime, and orange)

...your NCO has an eyepatch and your officer has a monocle.

...you wish you had an eyepatch or a monocle.

...your wife was still in school when you married her.

...the only thing you fear is you're superior officer.

You know your'e from the Black Warrior Cult if...........

You think nothing of venomous snakes nesting in the rotting corpses of the latest civilian purge.

Your idea of a sporting event are naked women lapping up the puke of drunken Cult Warriors in a military brothel.

You think New Jersey is the vacation capitol of the world.

Your'e sick and tired of ViZion losing nuclear subs to a deranged rogue captain.

Your idea of a home entertainment center are a dozen bird baths and a couple of shotguns.

You know if your an Xiscapian if...
1) Your average schoolkids equipment is a katana, a uzi, 9 shirkuins, and a bloodcloth
2) your average schoolkid is a ninja
3) you keep having to relocate because of black holes
4) Blood is in the food pyrimid
5) People pat you on the head and call you "Fox Miccloud"
6) You own and use a sniper rifle
7) You tear out throuts for a living
8) you enjoy tearing out throuts for a living
9) you step over dead bodies on the way to work
10) people are regulerly killed in duels on the street














0

You know you're from Calizorinstan if..

1. Your average weapon is a sniper rifle SKS, or a FN FAL
2. You've been using pumpkin's as practice target's for your MG-42 that's standard in each home.
3. Bank robber's are usually sniped, right after they ran outside with the money.
4.Criminal's are executed by MG-42 fire from houses.
5.You see relitelvy little crime.
6. You see several gun shops in the city.

You know your from Kampfers if...

Female cops don't pose as prostitutes, but they are prostitutes...

You Know your from The Kingdom of SaintB when you

1) Married your cat muffin.
2) Refer to the previous monarch as 'that other regime'
3) Refused to give you opinion when asked if you would like to vote
4) Can calculate the maximum amount of times a rubber ball would bounce when dropped from a 12 story building by the time you were 13.
5) Are proficient with at least 2 military grade weapons
6) Walk past as many coorperate SaintB Divisions as you do Embassys
7) Consider Thrash Metal to be easy listening.
8) Know a guy who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who is homeless.
9) Know a guy who knows a guy who makes less than $20,000 a year
10) Think twice before jaywalking.

...you regard the distinction between 'army' and 'police' as academic quibbling.

...people have been imprisoned for 'academic quibbling.'

...you either work for one of the megacorporations, for the government, or not at all.

...you regard the distinction between the megacorporations and the government as academic quibbling.

...You observe your ex-neighbor on the way to work, who is building a new road as part of a chain gang of inmates from debtors' prison.

...this strikes you as sad, but not unexpected.

...being homeless is a crime punishable by imprisonment.

...Many neighborhoods have a Required Minimum Net Worth (RMNW) which prospective residents must meet in order to live there.

You know you're from Maraque if...

1. You don't consider anyone from the province of Hythoria a human being.
2. You think people from the break-away province of Maraquean-Corona are a bunch of leeches who need to be forced back into the Empire.
3. Cars are useless because everyone lives in mega-metropolis', yet there are six cars for every one person.
4. Grass? Clean air? Trees? What's that?
5. The poorest citizens are middle-class in every other part of the world.
6. Lottos under $1 billion are bullshit.
7. You complain that the $17 minimum wage isn't high enough.
8. Driving a car that isn't from Anza Motors or one of the top German marques; Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Volkswagen, or Porsche, is considered a crime to most people.
9. Seeing a homeless person causes massive protests outside of the Imperial Palace because poverty is a heinous act by the government.
10. A piece of trash causes a massive protest outside of the Imperial Palace because environmental destruction is a heinous act by the government.
11. Racism, even jokingly, will cause random passerby to chase after you. Don't get caught.
12. Education and health care that isn't free is such a foreign concept to you that the thought of having to pay for it gives you nightmares and phobias of countries that make you do so.
13. You don't understand why it's colder in the fall than winter, either.
14. You walk by a smoke shop and peer inside the window to see a bunch of junkies getting their fix.
15. A naked couple just walked past. They were both males. They also had a child. This didn't shock you.

You know you're from Questers when...

... You hate Commies more than you hate the Tax Collector.
... You masturbate to maps of the Empire.
... You think the price of something is outraegous before you even see the pricetag.
... You criticise the Government "just because I want to."
... You own a gun "in case the commies come."
... If you own twelve guns and want to get another.
... If you've shot at the tax collector.
... You've shot at a policeman trying to get into your house.
... You think Freeks have small dicks.
... You think Doomanis have even smaller dicks.
... You think Translyvanians have the smallest dicks.
... You think Praetonians are posh bastards.
... You think women are good for cleaning and sucking.
... You think blacks are good for nothing.
... You think its immoral to believe in racial and sexual equality, in society anyway.
... You think Rule of Law is more important than feeding starving babies.
... You think you should sail a gunboat over and shell the Pwnagians for being "druggy hippy freaks"
... If your individuality is completley crushed by society.
... If you think Commies are actually around the evolutionary level of chimpanzees.
... You stir up dissent "because its my civil duty."
... If you pay someone to dress you.
... If you pay someone to undress you.
... No, we don't do that though.
... If at least four of your six sons joins the military.
... You drink tea at least seven times a day.
... You eat crumpets for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and supper.

You might just be a Skinnian if...

...you constantly argue that you're not referred to as 'Skinnian' goddamit, but as a 'Citizen of the Grand Monarchy'.

...assault anyone who mocks your nations past history, no matter how absurd and impossible it actually sounds.

...if you've suddenly had a change of attitude about Allaneans; they're no longer 'Those Capitalist Warmongers' and are instead 'Excellent Chaps. Part of the Sovereign League. Always loved them!"

...if the sight of a military convoy rumbling down the main street of your town/village/city is so commonplace that you know exactly when and how fast to cross the street so that the tracks of a Champion Main Battle Tank don't crush you as you try and get the morning paper.

...wonder why the Grand Monarchy is constantly invading foreign countries in an orgy of imperialistic ambitions, despite being part of a League that abhors such a thing.

...that, let's be honest, the Questarians are such a stereotype it's almost painful to talk to one without subconciously mocking them with a fake accent and random insertion of a braying laugh.

...that the Praetonian obsession with cavalry, and horses in particular, is rather disturbing and you hope that that website your co-worker showed you of the Cavalry Officer and Horse was just a photoshop.

...you wonder why so many nations and landmasses appear and reappear in Haven; and you know it happens despite government propaganda telling you a zeppelin crashed and spewed gas into a duckpond and created hallucinations for 5 Billion people.

...don't mind Communism and ponder why almost every other nation in Haven spits and fumes whenever that word is spoken.

...wonder how on earth Hataria still exists, and considers purchasing stock in the Hatarian healthcare system, considering the miracle of any Hatarian surviving through thousands of nuclear detonations, biological and chemical atacks, repeated invasions, annexations and razings.

[TBC]

You know you're a Shepmagan if...

1. You laugh at the irony of your nation's name.

2. You pay taxes to the Mafia, and protection money to the government.

3. Prostitution is only morally abhorrent to you if protection is used.

4. You consider yourself an upright and intelligent citizen, until a person in a business suit walks by, then you're a slave.

5. You think communism is the technical term for homeless people eating out of garbage cans instead of paying for food.

6. Unprotected sex is common, birth control is illegal, and adoption is practically nonexistent, yet no one seems to have more then five kids. Coincidentally, your stock in metal clotheshangers is performing excellently.

7. You've traded an AK-47 for food and experienced buyer's remorse

8. you were then immediately beaten up for not owning an AK-47

9. by your own family

10. your child tells you they're gay, your response is "You're still having kids though right?"

11. They roll their eyes and reply "Duh."

You are most definitely Tejano if:

1) You constantly code-switch between Japanese, Spanish, and English.
2) You think anybody who listens to rock is a fascist rebel.
3) You know what it's like to squat in a swamp for ten years with a PKM GPMG.
4) You think monogamy is some kind of exotic hardwood.
5) You were supposed to have demobilized with all the rest of the TPA guerillas in 1998, but still own two AKs and teach your children how to use them.
6a) Random people whom you have never met approach you on your way home and say, "I'm your son/daughter."
6b) Usually, they are.
7) You burst into freestyle rap battles at random intervals.
8a) You have ever seen a place called "People's Brothel #69."
8b) You frequent/work at "People's Brothel #69."
9) You sit for hours pondering why everyone outside of the PRH-TT loved the movie Gisela so much.
10) You don't bat an eye when you see someone masturbating in public.
11) Your pals in other countries get pissed at you for calling them "camarada" all the time.
12) You sit there and get offended at this list while everybody around you who isn't Tejano laughs and tells you it's all true.
13) You cut the blackish-green part off your bread, give it to your kids, and tell them "It's still good."
14) Your kids curse like sailors by the time they're 2 1/2.
15a) You have a tattoo with Kanji characters that mean something stupid or obscene.
15b) You have no idea said characters mean something stupid or obscene.
16) You beat up on an inflatable version of ex-President Brand Christensen every February 28th.
17) A cop walks by you and you shout "It wasn't me!"

After reading a few I was thinking, "When I post mine, I'll mention the only two or three that actually posted anything decent" but then quite a few people ended up getting it right, and I can't hold enough names in my short-term memory, so I'll just post mine...


You know you're a citizen of Tahuantinsuyu when...

...it's guineapig-on-bread for lunch, and a treat at that!

...your first memory is of potato-based spirits and maize-based alcoholic broth for breakfast with the family (and you don't remember your first memory).

...kids are for keeping the llamas away from the crops... and the jaguars away from the llamas.

...like all of your male friends, you've experienced compulsory military training, and, man, can you hit stuff with a stick, now!

...no? Well, you can certainly take it out with a rock from twenty paces, right? Yeah, you're one of us.

...it seems odd that these new foreign guests are wearing five layers of clothing and breathing with difficulty through a mask: we're at fifteen thousand feet, and it's only snowing a little bit, this is sandals and poncho weather, isn't it?

...congratulations! Your ten year old daughter has been judged perfect, and selected to become a god! We will now get her drunk and bury her alive! Hurrah!

...you may be of the only race on earth still afraid of Spain.

...foreigners keep calling you Inca, and don't want to hear your corrections.

...you get sixty-five days each year in which to provide for your own survival and that of your family, after that you're working for the state. Isn't it nice of the Sapa Inca to give you so much free time?

...you know that you'll never learn to read: all those ropes and knots, it looks so complicated!

...greeting a perfect stranger by telling them not to lie, steal, or be lazy is the polite thing to do, and won't upset them.

...because you take pride in your imperial flag, everyone else in the world thinks that you're making a bold statement about your homosexuality. This can be frustrating when you're trying to awe their society into terrified submission.

You know you're from the Chevrokian Republic if...

1. You've stayed up for 37 hours straight without the aid of drugs and didn't notice because the sun didn't set (Tellerbyen and Sefland Districts).

2. You've seen a dogsled with a mounted machine gun.

3. You've never heard anybody rational complain about global warming.

4. You've ever went to fuel your boat at a marina and been moored next to an F-60 Kingfisher seaplane fighter, and this was considered perfectly normal.

5. You know somebody who has at said marina, accidentally fueled their boat with JP-8 instead of gasoline. Although normally considered a rather hilarious event, to those it happens to it is considered very expensive and annoying, especially because of all the paperwork involved.

You know your from Alacea if

1) You show up at public places naked on occasion

2) While on vacation, you ask for marijuana at a local drug store.

3) You don't like muslims.

4) You think that "political correctness" and "the close-minded" are propaganda invented by insane uber-lefties.

5) You insist on paying for things

6) You own several household robots

You live in inescapable fear of the government.

You cant leave the nation.

Your brother just had a Hallucagenic Control Collar put on his neck.*

YOU just had a Hallucagenic Control Collar put on your neck.**

You find yourself thinking about the things the Red Tide Mafia does to people everytime you walk in to a bar.

You are one of the people with which the Red Tide Mafia carries those things out with.

You are thrown into a Gulag for saying to a NKVD Agent, "Excuse me sir, but I dont think thats right."

*You definantly know it in this case.

**Same here, you just wont care in a few seconds...

You know your'e from Xeraph if:

You join a pistol club and think it means that you drink til 9 and piss til 10...

You think manual labor is the name of the new Mexican presidente

You think any woman who runs for president should be shot

You know it's a fact that Jesus couldn't have been born in Poland because no one could find three wise men and a virgin

You think a dildo is the main character in 'The Lord of the Rings'

You think that if Democrats would do to their wives what theyr'e doing to this country, there'd be a lot less tension and stupidity

You know you're a TLAn if:

1. You think that Ice is simply the word for frozen water.
2. If you freak out over thunderstorms.
3. You fear that someone is out to get you.
4. You try to firebomb the local Nazi rally.
5. Or You have the uncontrollable urge to shout "Peace through Power".
6. You DON'T feel muslims are out to get you.

MT/PMT

...as a citizen, you're refered to as 'human resources.'

...as a tourist, you're refered to as 'a potential client.'


FT

...you're constantly hounded by hookers that are of multiple different species including, but not limited to, Eldar, Tau, Zentradi, and Sangheili.

...you see a bunch of girls have their clothes shorn off by the sneeze of a magical ten-year-old boy.

...you see ads for phallic enlargement in public.

...you see an adult store on every corner...even in the most desolate of areas.

...you see two citizens making love in public and everyone else doesn't seem to notice.

...someone randomly walks up to you and pokes you.

You know you're from the Eternal Kawaii if:

-- You think Sailor Moon is a police training video.

-- Your idea of a romantic getaway with your fiance is an elementary school field trip.

-- You have to chew out your younger brother for disgracing the family by being seen in public holding hands with a girl.

-- Your mad kung-fu skillz are all that stands between your family and Those Damned Heathen Foreigners.

-- You read a pornographic comic book on the train in to work and noone commented, either because they were too embarrassed to mention it, or they were busy reading one of their own, or more likely, both.

-- You have a phobia about giant monsters.

-- You have an even worse phobia about penguins.

-- You have an even more worse phobia about technology.

-- People give you funny looks when you try to explain the Cute One to them.

-- You give people funny looks when they try to explain "separation of church and state" to you.

1-You have more children than all other relatives compiled together.

2-Your wife regularily entertains your neighbors teenage sons in the bedroom while you watch the World Cup.

3-The soldiers in the army have hair.

4-Junkies are often seen shooting up with cupcakes rather than Heroin.

5-A house is a second name for the local bordello.

6-Women can eat three times there own body wieght before lunch and lose all the excess pounds by bedtime.

7-You often see a child abuser strung up in the town square to have his dead body beaten and destroyed for three days.

8-The national animal consumes for gas the the family car.

9-You see thousands of college students naked and drinking on the street at times other than spring break.

10-The local garrison commander knows you well enough that he regularily gives your children rides to school in his tank.

I have a question for Eternal Kawaii: would Goku be your Messiah?:rolleyes:

You know you're from Neo-Erusea if:

1- You dive under the nearest structure or car whenever anyone yells out "State Security!"

2- You try to run as fast as you can away from the direction you believed the words "State Security" were shouted out.

3- You have dreams of hiding or running when the words "State Security" are yelled out.

4- You have joined a riot that pummeled a prankster who thought yelling out "State Security" was a good practical joke.

5- You watch the daily military parades in Farbanti.

6- You are in State Security.

You know your from the Blackhelm Confederacy if...

1) You either work for or thoroughly approve of the Griffincrest Corporation, or are a Communist.


Weird... I think I might have misread that, but Confederates are commies?

You know you're from Cookesland when...

1.) you are a firm believer in democracy

2.) you love your soccer team for the first five rounds of the world cup and hate them after that.

3.) you think Enviromentalists are annoyingly ever-present

You know you're from Green Hawk when your home has at least two birds in it


You know you're from Green Hawk when you see a factory every five miles


You know you're from Green Hawk when someone yells SOP (Special Operations Police) and you run like a bitch


You know you're from Green Hawk when SOP kidnaps you and torture you for five days


You know you're from Green Hawk when you wake up in the middle of a parking lot and have no memories of the past five days, but your body hurts... alot


You know you're from Green Hawk when you see that gas cost five dollars a gallon


You know you're from Green Hawk when helicopters with a lot of guns on board flying overhead everyday


You know you're from Green Hawk when you hear a helicopter at night followed by a loud BOOM!


You know you're from Green Hawk when the news shows a blown up building where drug dealer(s), killer(s), etc. lived and it is treated as everyday news


You know you're from Green Hawk when you know that the civil rights only covers your privacy from the government, not for the SOP


You know you're from Green Hawk when people who hunt birds are drugged, striped of thier clothes and then released into the woods


You know you're from Green Hawk when someone yells "HUNTING TIME!" and you know that they aren't hunting down just any animal


You know you're from Green Hawk when your the only person in the world that know the Green Hawk is a real animal, it's just that no one has ever seen it before...

Your from the Dominion of Troglobites...

If you look like This (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a5/BtPotA-mutantsandtheirgod.JPG).

If you take in a bath of water with the ph of 14.

EXPLETIVES WARNING: If you don't like seeing expletives in print, then do not say I did not warn you...because I just did.

1. The idea of rounding up and lynching PETA members is appealing to you
2. You took Advanced P.E. in school just so you could kick the neighborhood bully’s ass
3. Following one day in Advanced P.E., you successfully kicked the neighborhood bully’s ass
4. It is not at all uncommon to see a person carrying a firearm, on the streets, without keeping it concealed
5. Enlisting in the local National Guard involves a waiting list
6. Referring to Muslims as “towel-head sunzabitches” when in a public place is perfectly acceptable
7. Insulting a woman in public will result in you being chased by every man who has heard you do it and a beating if they catch you.
8. Advocates of Political Correctness are openly laughed at
9. By everybody in town
10. Soldiers of all ranks, and both genders have no trouble bagging the very best dates if they are in uniform

Not all are meant to be funny, but I did try to put a few laughs worth in there.

EXPLETIVES WARNING: If you don't like seeing expletives in print, then do not say I did not warn you...because I just did.

1. The idea of rounding up and lynching PETA members is appealing to you
2. You took Advanced P.E. in school just so you could kick the neighborhood bully’s ass
3. Following one day in Advanced P.E., you successfully kicked the neighborhood bully’s ass
4. It is not at all uncommon to see a person carrying a firearm, on the streets, without keeping it concealed
5. Enlisting in the local National Guard involves a waiting list
6. Referring to Muslims as “towel-head sunzabitches” when in a public place is perfectly acceptable
7. Insulting a woman in public will result in you being chased by every man who has heard you do it and a beating if they catch you.
8. Advocates of Political Correctness are openly laughed at
9. By everybody in town
10. Soldiers of all ranks, and both genders have no trouble bagging the very best dates if they are in uniform

Not all are meant to be funny, but I did try to put a few laughs worth in there.

Now thats my kind of society >:3

Now thats my kind of society >:3

Heh. Why thank you.

Weird... I think I might have misread that, but Confederates are commies?

No, I meant the only people who don't like Grifficrest are the Communists, which are a very small portion of the populace.

1. If you are sacrifice a bull to the Sun God of [insertpaganmythicalcityhere] in public, and people applaud you.

2. If you hear about the Armed Forces making a successful, non-chaotic, retreat in battle and cheer like its V-Day.

3. You can dress like a hooker, walk down the hardest most violent neighborhood in the country, and still feel safe.

4. If you have daily nightmares about the Capitol Police.

5. If you're a Christian fanatic and are afarid of the Inqusition because you are a fanatic.

6. If the idea of a war being fought to a bloody stalemate by your armed forces nearly causes you to have an orgasm.

7. If you've never drank, smoked, dipped, or done any sort of drugs.

8. If cussing in public gets you a punch in the face, but pimp-slapping your wife gets you a nod of approval from the surronding men.

9. If you play the game 'Fallout' and feel some emotional connection.

10. If you laugh at armaggedon-styled movies and say "Pfft! Kraven was worse".

You know you are Leafanistani if:

-you can name what Municipal Form 322-C-Public does. (Public Sex Permit, notoriously cheap)
-know someone or is someone, who owns a military vehicle, most likely still mounting a weapon
-can easily assembled an ultralight 76.2mm artillery gun
-Service guarantees citizenship sounds perfectly alright to you
-have seen Triumvirate council member Samantha Arcturus openly hitting on female guards during press conferences, while on the street 'meeting the people', in between kissing babies, during propaganda film reels. And you have no problem with it.

You know your Ri-anese if:

You can name all 500,000 departments of the Ri-anese Government.

You were born waiting in line at a department office.

You died waiting in line at the same department office.

You've ever had to escape from a Ri-anese Mantrap.

Your surprised when you learn other nations don't surf hiveminds like an internet connection.

the environment comes to life and yells at you for litering when you accidently drop trash.

You know your Ri-anese if:

You can name all 500,000 departments of the Ri-anese Government.

You were born waiting in line at a department office.

You died waiting in line at the same department office.

Bureaucracy. Don't you just love it?

You vote for politicians with an unhealthy obsession for nerf products.

You approve the war on the new Apple iRaq

Even your boss plays Wii.

You think "inner peace" is the effects after the choking game.

You've participated in a world invasion with a whiffel bat as your weapon.

Your idea of deep thinking is whether or not you suspect the spanish inquisition.

You might be Hamilayan if...

... you're proud of your extensive political freedoms...

... but you never vote against your chosen party, ever. Ever.

... you drink latte, enjoy opera, use a Mac and vote Socialist...

... but you salute every time you see a soldier and refer to whoever the military is fighting as 'foreign scum'.

... your gun collection rivals that of the most militaristic, trigger-happy citizens in the world...

... but you're not quite sure if the muzzle is the thing the bullets come out of.

.. you support military intervention to liberate and assist the poor and oppressed peoples of the world...

... but you kick beggars.

... you hate all Communist-related goods...

... except their planes. Those commies make damn good planes.

... you'd never want your child to go to a religious school, as it's dangerous indoctrination and brainwashing...

... but you don't see any problem with a universal draft for 13-year-olds and up.

You're from the Domion of Hexalot, if...

1. Either you're House (clan) own majority of corporations and industries in the country, or...
2. You're entire family is gravely indebted to one of the Major Houses and would work for them through out your life as an employee/laborer/artisan.
3. The government is being run like a corrupt corporation and being run by a group of corrupt corporations..
4. "Efficiency" is the prime virtue.
5. You have had underwent millitary trainning as early as 6 years old.
6. Never voted your entire life.
7. Already desentisized with government corruption.
8. You are THE country's resource.

If you think Birkenstocks are formal footware, you might be a Maineiac.

If your workplace has a designated pot-smoking area, you might be a Maineiac.

If your 5th-grader is studying quantum physics, you might be a Maineiac.

If you think other nations "just don't get it", you might be a Maineiac.

If the street signs in your town are in five different languages, you might be a Maineiac.

If you get off from work for hockey finals week, you might be a Maineiac.

If the evening news is read by a woman while she's breastfeeding, you might be a Maineiac.

If your year revolves around the day you get your tax rebate check, you might be a Maineiac.

If you've had to call the fire department five times this week to get your pet lemur out of a tree, you might be a Maineiac.

If you watch your nation's politicians like a hawk, and hold recalls at the drop of a hat, you might be a Maineiac.

You might from Crookfur if:

1. Your favourite pass time is moaning, about anything, to anyone
2. You like queing as it gives you something worth moaning about and a captive audience to moan to.
3. You dispise Reality TV, but you keep watching just to remind yourself why you dispise it so much.
4. You have your MP and local councilor's office numbers on speed dial
5. The operating system on your PC does not have a section in the EULA which forbids its use in nuclear power stations or life cirtical applications, becuase the governement imposes such strict safety and reliability standards that your OS is pretty much unbreakable.
6. Your know 3 people who know how to break even the strongest operating systems.
7. You used to know 4 but one of them got taken away by those nice young men dressed in black who rappeled out of a black helicopter.
8. You aren't concerned by the fact that your national banking service is run by a secretive military organisation with no govenrment oversight, after all the templars were doign banking before anyone else and governments would only spend the profits on alcohol and individuals of negotiable morals.
9. You belive in deamons and monsters and think the X-fiels is a documentary
10. A friend of a friend knows a guy whose cousin was possesed by a deamon
11.You watch a news report about the inqusition disappearing soem people and feel both gladness and ptiy: gladness that soem one is out there being the light agaisnt the darkness and pity for everyone involved, the Inquisitors for the hoors they face and the "disappeared" for thier weak mindedness and what the Inquisitors are going to do to them
12: Your daily commute involves some kidn of aircraft
13. You like the idea of biofuels but you are not sure if they are worth it
14. You know someone who spends most weekends and at least a month in the summer goign by the name Olaf Bone breaker and actually living like a viking on one of the historical enclaves
15. It is you who likes to live on a historical enclave but you aren;t viking, being a 16t/17h century priate is much more fun, plus its much warmer in the Protectorate.
16. Either you or some one you know has been arrested by the coast gaurd for taking the whole pirate life thing too far and actually trying to use your authentic pirate galleon to engage in high seas piracy...

You Might be from the Dominion of Dastardly Stench If...

...Your nation's capital is the city of Beansville, located in the province of Fartsylvania, and you refer to it as "The Seat of Power."

...Your parliament is The Tract.

...Your currency is the Fart. 100 farts makes a Flying Fart.

...Your native language is Flatulan.

...Your national heroes are named Terrance and Phillip. You celebrate their birthdays as national holidays.

...The local greeting is "pew." It's just the neighbors' way of giving a warm welcome.

...Your State Travel Agency is The Chunk Pipe.

...Your Tax Collectors are The Bean Counters.

...Your Secret Service is the Silent but Deadly Brigade.

...You liberally enrich your speech with phrases that could have (pffffft!) a whiff of multiple meanings.

...You give your (pfffft!) Government, your (pfffft! pffft!) Military, your (pfffffffffrrrrrt!) Church and your (pfffffft! pfffffffffrrrrrrrrrt! pffft!) Corporations the (pfffffft!) air of respect that they deserve.

...Your favorite sport is buttball. Your National Team is the Blowhards.

...Your new class of whizbang, super-duper battleships is the Underthunder class.

...You haven't laughed even once at this post.

you know your an Axmanlander when:

your constitution protects your inalienable right to "get so high you drool and have long meaningful conversations with your dog"

the last time someone knocked on your door and asked you if you had "heard the good news about god" you shot them in the head and the relevant authorities declined to prosecute you as it "would not be wise or prudent for the taxpayers scratchie's to be wasted on frivolous legal action"

you enjoy duck hunting because the vapor trial from your shoulder mounted missile launcher looks good against the radioactive smog that hovers over the countryside

you poses a concealed carry permit but wonder how to carry or conceal a field howitzer

you have complete freedom to in terms of gender sexuality speech drug and gun ownership but you KNOW that any attempt to unseat your high king will result in an immediate painful and extremely entertaining televised execution

you spent the seven years between the ages of 18 and 25 in some branch of the armed services and believe that pacifism is a contagious germ based infection that can only be cured by high voltage electroshock therapy

your encouraged by the media in your paranoid belief that the evil oppressive overseas killjoys and buzzkillers want to come into your home rape your female relatives and TAKE YOUR DRUGS AWAY ...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your proudest moment at cub scouts was when you earned your " cooking hyper-amphetaminz" badge

you KNOW the secret police don't exist because people who don't know the secret police don't exist tend to have nasty accidents, or take their own lives, or go on holiday and never come back................

and if you think good leadership qualities include paranoia, rampant megalomania, the ability to look god in jackboots, a cruel cunning intellect and a refusal to ever die..... then maybe ...... you are an Axmanlander!!!!

You know you're from Uiri if:

1. You live in a 30 by 6 meter apartment and make US $1 an hour or you live in a luxurious mansion and a nice car every five years is about 1% of your income over those 5 years.

2. Every 50th person you see on the street is a cop.

3. There are 1 or 2 people in your apartment building who is a cop.

4. You think free education is like free haircuts and think that Communists come up with the funniest stuff.

5. You think reading is for those with more than 1 day a week off.

6. You think that bicycles are the way to go because they are cheaper.

7. You know only 1 in 10 people can afford a nice car.

8. The company you work for is either owned by companies named after a colour or IS named after a colour.

9. You think that 12 year olds working is normal. Even if they are working 10 hour days.

10. You know someone who can speak english or french but they can't read Uir.

You know you’re from Biotopia when…

1. Your daily staff meetings regularly feature 3hr debates on international affairs

2. You fudged you citizenship certificate to gain points selling cakes at the school fete

3. You’re that guy who interrupts with “well actually…” every time you overhear someone say communism is dead

4. You love tofu doughnuts

5. This one time at Young Pioneer’s Camp…

You know you're from CM if:

1. You have a strong hatred for anything foreign.

2. You find yourself complaining about the old men in the Senate to everyone within earshot, who are all doing the same.

3. You have a fascination with new technology.

4. You have at least three guns in your house, and one Crossbow.

5. You don't work for the National government, or know anybody that does.

6. You hate commies.

7. You view Thomas Jefferson as "That American copycat".

8. You smoke, snort, or shoot some kind of drug, at least once a month, occasionally down at the local police station with your police friends, who are also high on something.

9. You complain about the heat when it's -4 Celsius.

10. And finally, if you answered "Yes" to all the others... If someone you know has been killed by 1314.... You're a Moralite! Congrats! :D

You know you're from Stoklomolvi when...

... Almost all of your neighbours are in the KGB.

... You live next to an arms factory.

... You live in that arms factory.

... You drive an armoured car to work.

... You sweat when it is -100 Celsius outside.

... You're working for the government as a pawn, as is everybody else in your building.

... You hate capitalism like a scourge.

... You look towards capitalists as peasants when you're poorer than they are.

... Said capitalists feel like peasants when they're richer than you are.

... You have never seen an illegal drug.

... The only person in your family to have seen an alcohol bottle is that ancestor who lived in the 1500s.

You know you're from Ralkovia when...
1. You see a military tank at a stoplight in the middle of an urban city.
2. you look at how much gas costs and realize that its more than you paid for your car(the gas crisis is getting better)
3. you look to see that the military tank gets better gas mileage than your car
4. You hear the words "duck" in any context you immediately fall to the floor and cover your neck from debris.
5. Military weapons can be bought from civilian gunstores
6. You live longer in the military then in civilian life
7. When stores sell bomb-proof ear plugs.
"Don't get woken up on hijacked planes"
8. At least 10 people you know have dissappeared after a government worker went to visit them
9. Human Trafficking often happens right outside your streets
10. You bow and look to the ground the second someone says the word "Emperor"
11. You can sing the national anthem, remember every Emperors name, the national bird, national plant, and every ship in the Ralkovian navy by heart.
12. AND LASTLY, You know your definitely Ralkovian when the national sport is CHAINSAW CHUCKING.

You know...

I remember this sort thread from 05, I think. I would contribute but I'm not in the mood for wit, however.

You know you're from a little island from the past if you enjoy roses. :P

You know you are Sumguaian if....

1. Your local church maintains an armory.
2. You feel that what this world needs is more vigilante justice.
3. You are immensly proud of your expansive political freedoms, and use them to elect the same man as Emperor for seven consecutive terms.
4. You think that atheism and communism are synonymous.
5. Race only matters when determining what strength of sunblock to use.
6. The nation's largest charity organization also maintains a private army.
7. You consider it a good thing that rapists and murderers are usually dead by the time the police track them down.
8. "government control" is an alien idea to you.
9. You feel that the two most honerable jobs on earth are those of clergyman and corporate executive.
10. You dont own a hunting rifle, you own an AK-47.

You know you're Soufrikan when:
1. You wake up in the morning to explosions, rifle fire and shouts of "Allahu akbar!"
2. You keep an SKS under your bed.
3. You've actually fired it...at someone.
4. You're not Muslim.
5. Your kid[s] go to school in a surplus Battle Bus.
6. You walk in on your teenager[s] doing it.:eek:
7. Somehow, you can tell if a lady is "packing" just by looking at her.
8. You really like nude art.
9. You teach your dog to growl when someone says "apartheid."
10. You teach foreigners to curse in Afrikaans.

You know you're from the Kiravian Empire when:

1.You talk to dolphins and expect an intelligible response
2.You speak five variants of Coscivian, and so do your neighbours, yet no one can understand each other
3.Your university claims title over your laundry lists
4.You see someone getting into a car, and then rush to save that person from being eaten by "that metal monster-thing"
5.You have more middle names than digits in your phone number
6.Your surname ends in "sar", "mec", "ford", "field", "stone", "land", or "forest"
8.You don't live in Kirav Proper
9.You have a defencive wall around your home
10.You're arrested by drunk policemen for not driving while drunk.

You know you're from Ralkovia when...
2. you look at how much gas costs and realize that its more than you paid for your car(the gas crisis is getting better)


Don't you use Griffincrest?? How are you in a gas crisis?

And btw, thanks for bumping this people, I never thought I would see this thread again!

(Big war destroyed my oil tanking fleet[invasion of ruthmenostan thread], my oil rich protectorate nation was lost[invasion of ruthmenostan thread]. Government is floundering as the Emperor was assassinated[A sad day in Ralkovia])

(The invasion of ruthmenostan was never finished but I decided the outcome)

You know you're from Alfegos if:
1) You eat fruit nobody's ever heard of.
2) You eat meat from stranger parts than the french could think of.
3) You suffer/have suffered from some peculiar and painful disease.
4) You take the train because it's faster than the car.
5) You live in a house where only the central walls are not curved.
6) You live under the flight path of an airship route.
7) You live on an airship.
8) You find the armed forces have four separate branches.
9) You keep an assault rifle at home legally, but can't take it out of the house unless it's semi-automatic.
10) You find the beetroot a strange foreign fruit.
11) You take peculiar drugs that nobody has heard of, and suffer peculiar side-effects.

You know you're from La Habana when:

1. You earn more on welfare than you do if you actually work.

2. The list of candidates at elections is so massive that citizens coming to vote bring a weeks worth of supplies with them.

3. There are no prisons or police to be seen, yet for some reason crime is nonexistent.

4. Everybody has a family member in the book publishing industry.

5. You can go on the streets and do almost whatever you like, and people won't look at you strangely.

6. Your income tax rate seems to fluctuate several percent on each passing day.

7. Every time a new building is completed, it is covered from top to bottom in graffiti by the next morning.

You know you're from Third Spanish States if:

1) You actually work only 4 hours per day.

2) You anonymously browse porn, troll, flame and deface websites "for the LULZ" using your cooperative network during the other 4 hours and is a /b/tard or equivalent.*

3) You earn the same share of profits than the assembly line worker.

4) You are a simple mechanic, but you drive a TdC automobile equivalent to a Ferrari in both quality and price.

5) Your wife got laid with 20 different men last month, and you almost overcame the record with other women.

6) You and/or Your wife is 12 years old, use heavy drugs and is a nymphomaniac.

7) One of your children is homosexual.

8) You have shot/lynched a criminal to death at least once in your life.

9) You would join NRA if you weren't an anarchist.

10) You are not sure which is your native language.

*The acronym NSFW makes no sense in Third Spanish States

Don't you use Griffincrest?? How are you in a gas crisis?

And btw, thanks for bumping this people, I never thought I would see this thread again!

I ran across it while looking for something else and added to it. After that, it took on a life of its own.

I still think mine was the funniest, though! :p :D :p

You know that you are from Lamoni if:

1. You believe that you live in one of the two greatest nations in all of your Region (Atlantian Oceania)

2. You know that there are more NS World Cup winning nations in your region than any other

3. You have a commoner marry the Queen of Anglia

4. You take it personally when someone questions your economy

5. You are so genetically mixed that you have no idea of whether you are white/black/asian... etc.

6. You are descended from refugees

7. You are driven to read at least a chapter of a book before you fall asleep

8. You can see forest and desert just by going over a mountain range

9. You use decommissioned Navy ships to house refugees

You know you are from The Imperial Navy if:

-You have served at least 2 months in the Imperial Armada

-You have Bantha for dinner

-You list a mole as being one of your best friends (I'm looking at you Moleland)

-You own a turbocharged MKII ion drive hovercar

-You live in a city that covers the whole continent

-You can point to the Planet Arcadia on a space chart

You know you’re from Biotopia if… (II)

6] You buy a box of tofu doughnuts to share at work but require you co-workers to be blindfolded when making a selection to ensure they’re fairly distributed

7] When you were a kid you had a World Assembly themed party and nobody complained

8] You lost your virginity in your family fallout shelter

9] Your other car is a bicycle

10 You car is a bicycle

11] You and your college friends sobered up by taking a 3am tour of parliament

12] You’re not gay but you’ve slept with more men than women

13] You rail against corporations but actually work for one of the five largest companies in the country

14] You split your ticket between the Communist and Liberal Party

15] Sometimes you get paranoid that your life is nothing more than a virtual simulation

You know your from Kewen if(FT)
1. Your idea of fun includes assuming the shape of an old lady walking around, and periodly morhping into a 12ft deamon with large flaming redswords and yelling boo.
2 You know your a kewen if you can morph into any form and Have all 1,234,567.2 elements of the Kewen Table in your list of assumed forms.
3. You know your from Kewen if you've, crashed on a pre-atomic world, tunneled up from the group and give a religius leader a heart attack casuing a world war that destroys the planet
4. you know your a kewen when your older then a Sun.
5. you know your a kewen if your idea of a party is leading a pre-gunpowder crusade on some backwater planet.
6. you know you a kewen if you are metalbased,and anthromoprhpic.
7. you know your a kewen if you consider your best friend to be yourself.
8. you know your a kewen when your youngest son is older then most governments.
9. you know your a kewen if you enjoy sunbathing.
10. you know your from kewen if you were shot out of a giant slingshot in a spaceship.

You know you're a white Questarian when;

. . . You consume a bottle of scotch or gin a day,
. . . You smoke a packet of (filtered, fucking Doomani) cigarettes a day,
. . . You don't own slaves (fucking Doomani) but you have 7 black house-servants,
. . . You have a gas mask and a rifle per person (fucking Doomani) in your house,
. . . Your house is built strategically,
. . . You have a giant photo of Alexander Beaufort II in your front room,
. . . You bitch about air-conditioning not being strong enough,
. . . You bitch about the air-conditioning air being too dry,
. . . You are a hopeless romantic,
. . . You think anyone who doesn't speak English (fucking Doomani) is a savage,
. . . Latin (fucking Doomani) is your least favourite language
. . . You think Prestonoid is Latin for 'failure',
. . . You think Gholgoth is Latin for 'massive failure',
. . . You think Communism is Latin for 'even bigger failure',
. . . MATTOCRACY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
. . . You whine about taxes,
. . . You whine about military spending (fucking Doomani) being too low,
. . . Morning is for coffee, evening is for tea, any time of the day is for cigarettes,
. . . Your first word was 'boat',
. . . Your idea of pop music is Last Night of the Proms,
. . . Your favourite car is some variant on the Land Rover,
. . . You earn over $100,000p.a.,
. . . You give more to charity than the state taxes you,
. . . You have an inferiority complex,
. . . You have a superiority complex,
. . . You're still using bubble bath when you're 21 :3

You know you're from Ralkovia when:
1. Every old man you know has a prosthetic limb from some war
2. 40% of your family has been part of the military
3. You or someone in your family has an old RPG, assault rifle, grenade, or some other weapon from a war.
4. Military vehicles often pass by your streets on a daily basis.
5. Even though there are laws against soldiers forcing you to quarter them, they do it anyway.
6. Your children have to go to military training camps for 18 hours every week.
7. Your children are at school or some other government program more than they are with you
8. Your children know 5 languages fluently by the time they are 16
9. Airships often block out the sun.

Why not?

You know you're Sumerian if...
... The two hours around midday are nap time because it's too hot.
... You carry two 1L bottles of water with you everywhere, usually on your belt.
... Everyone else carries two 1L bottles of water everywhere, it's completely normal.
... Miniskirts and shorts outnumber long pants and long skirts by 20:1 in your wardrobe.
... You own a pistol and carry it openly, but never actually use it.
... Everyone else does the same.
... You think an hour walk is short, and laugh at foreigners who get tired doing it.
... You enjoy being able to see the stars from inside the city, and the clean air. As long as it's not a dust storm.
... Anyone in a government issued uniform is a celebrity.
... You need a license to have children.
... You got that license when you were 16 like everyone else.
... You think the foreign world is full of backwards baby civilizations.
... You are immensely curious how the foreign world still exists.
... You can trace your family tree, by name, farther back then most civilizations can trace their origins.
... You're not sure what god to pray to when your microwave oven breaks down.
... You built and drove a small tank for a high school project.
... You ask "That's it?" when you see news reports of foreign armies using massed tanks in numbers consisting of less then six digits.
... You believe everyone is equal regardless of race or gender or religion, but their personality defines them as inferior or not.

I ran out, oh well.

You know youre from TUSSD if you...
1. See 10' tall super soldiers everyday
2. The mailman has a tracking device for dogs
3. You enjoy vodka, whiskey, and Baileys
4 You drink Vodka whiskey and Baileys, more than you drink water
5. You have a large navy, but only one small port
6. You have freedoms from your government, but your government sayswhat freedoms you have
7. Every whackjob and his brother owns a gun
8. You smoke weed everyday, in the safety of your own home
9. Name is a random amount of random letters, in random orders.
10. Are turned on by trouts.

You know your Kiravian when:

...You married your house and got a property tax break
...Your family has its own flag
...You blend in with bleached paper
...You celebrate Christmas in January
...You your weekend has four days
...♪You kissed a girl♪...and were run out of town by vigilantes shortly thereafter.
...Your idea of good weather involves severe thunderstorms
...Your ancestors worshipped politicians
...Your yacht has anti-aircraft guns
...You do not live in fear, fear lives in you.
...You have seen local children playing with actions figures of world leaders
...You seperate television programs into three categories: Shows, Commercials, and Recuitment Ads
...You think that Communism is a board game
...The first thing your doctor asks you is "Do you have insurance?"
...The first thing your employer asks you is "Do you have insurance?'
...The first thing your insurance agent asks you is "Do you have insurance?"
...You do not exist in any public records
...Your IQ is higher than your monthyl paycheck. Even if you're a CEO.

You know you're a Prestonian when...

1. You take offense to the words Prestoviet and Prestonoid.

2. The regional community treats you badly, and you have no idea why.

3. You and most of your neighbors own more than one firearm.

4. You can get assault weapons at military surplus stores.

5. More than half the things you buy are foreign.

6. Your military regularly botches simple operations.

7. The word "comrade" has no political connotations to you.

8. You work for a firm that's headquartered outside your country.

9. You most likely keep your funds in an offshore account.

10. You believe everyone is equal, except for those damned Commies and Doomani.

11. You regard Clandonians with contempt.

12. You swear excessively.

13. You speak two or more languages fluently.

14. You drive a BMW or Mercedes-Benz.

15. Your government professes a hatred of communism yet associates with Wagdog and Aequatio.

You know you're from Kahanistan when...

10. Everyone and the wacko next door who believes that the world is being controlled by aliens through the New World Order can buy a military grade assualt gun.

9. Everyone and the wacko next door who believes that the world is being controlled by aliens through the New World Order has actually been called upon to use their military grade assault gun.

8. Coed showers are ubiquitous, even in the military.

7. "Pragmatist" is a dirty word.

6. You find yourself voting for whoever promises the least amount of foreign domination.

5. You see a guy in a turban on an airline in the seat next to you cradling an AK-47 and don't shriek, "TERRORIST!"

4. The sweet old lady next door drives a technical.

3. You've been driving since you were eight.

2. You use Hebrew curses, even if you're not Jewish.

1. You've ever had sex in a mosque / church / synagogue.

[I'll add more when I can think of them.]

More ways to tell your an Axmanlander

if the artificial intelligence that polices the internet has taken a dislike to you and forwarded the contents of your hard drive to the secret police (who don't exist)for a full evaluation

if the artificial intelligence that polices the internet has taken a shine to you and transfered cash from inactive accounts into a tax rebate for you

if you think a drug rehab center is a place you go to to learn how to get back into hallucinogens after a bad trip

if you can remember at least two occasions in your life when the city you live in experienced rolling blackouts,food shortages,fuel shortages or economic hardship due to some insane military purchase or huge overreaching civilian project

if you think rain is the standard default setting of the weather and that global warming sounds like the sort of thing that should be encouraged

if the most logical sensible way to ensure world peace seems to be for all county's to posses massively lethal W.M.D's

if you think the spread of religion could be stopped if only people remembered to wash their hands after going to the toilet

if you have such disregard for the environment that your favorite food is baby seal marinaded in its own pain

then maybe......just maybe..... your an Axmanlander

You know you're from Imota when.....

...you think it's normal for the local militia to completely demolish the regular army in military exercises.
...the crazy lady next door who has more cats than IQ points gets a tax exemption by claiming to be an animal shelter.
...death row inmates can buy about six months by claiming to be unable to decide what to eat for their last meal.
...the army issues a daily marijuana ration, even though it's illegal to smoke on government property.
...you applied for a concealed carry permit for an AK-47...and got one.

You are from Punckeds if:
1.All clerks from nearest department office are democraticaly elected.
2.Your boss are elected too.
3.You can to mark on the tax form how government could spend your money.
4.You will didn't do anythig before it is voted through.
5.You have turning over in every matter and you think around it always counts.
6.Not important how you look or behave - everyone likes you.
7.You hate nazis
8.You hate rasists
9.You hate intolerant people.
10.You hate orders.
11.You hate haters.
12.You think that people from other states don't have so a lot of freedom and democracy as you...
13.You think that all political parties are undemocratical.
14.You are part of worker's council.
15.You believe that "socialism with human face" is possible.
16.You have military traning in uniforms one month every year and you call it "military service"

You know you’re from Errikland if...

. . . you never whine, except about taxes and weak-willed politicians.

. . . you tithe more to your church than you give to taxes, several times over.

. . . you attend church at least once a week, and don’t know anyone who doesn’t.

. . . you aren’t and only child, and don’t know anyone who is.

. . . you regularly discuss politics and religion with your children of all ages over the dinner table.

. . . your personal or family honor is worth dying over, and certainly worth killing over.

. . . your shortest male friend is six feet tall.

. . . your average female friend is six feet tall.

. . . you feel compelled to correct grammatical errors on the part of your friends.

. . . you own a sword.

. . . you own and regularly use an assault rifle, alongside many other firearms.

. . . your sons, ranging in age from twenty to seven, also regularly use said assault rifle.

. . . you drank, smoked*, drove and went shooting with your father at the age of thirteen.

. . . your fourth cousin once removed is still family, dammit.

. . . you treat most everyone well, but are really cautious and distrustful of anyone not related to you, particularly any foreigners, until you know them very well.

. . . it is a novelty to purchase or own goods made in foreign countries outside of Mucro.

. . . you love your country, your military, and your police, but hate your government.

. . . you have a flag flying and a map of the Empire up in your living room.

. . . demeaning the Empire, the flag, or a woman are likely to get you beaten black and blue by all bystanders.

. . . even if caught on film, there will never be enough evidence to result in the arrest or prosecution of said bystanders, who will openly brag about the event.**

. . . you have a glass of cider (or wine, southern Errikland) every night at dinner, and think drunkards are scum.

. . . poverty is their own damn fault.

. . . you see genocide and ethnic cleansing as completely suitable strategies of war, and tend to view them as a sort of natural selection.

. . . you admire allied civilizations, but feel that most of the rest of the world is backward, foolish and uncivilized.

. . . you decry pacifism and cosmopolitanism as “bolshevism.”


Note: several of these apply only to men, who are the only ones given assault rifles by the government, though women are free to purchase them, just as men may purchase additional ones.
* cigarette smoking, which used to be very common in Errikan society, has declined a great deal in the past couple decades, though cigar smoking has not
** one such event did occur; the assailants were ticketed, and, upon paying their fines, proudly displayed the tickets and bragged about the event

OOC: I’ve got to say there were some really good ones on this thread. Luslyvania and Kirav both made me wish I had thought of that first multiple times.

You know you're a Cazelian if...

-Your house has a bomb fallout shelter
-You have a dartboard with a picture of Stalin on it
-Your children are afraid of communists under the bed at night
-You don't own a hunting rifle, you own an M82
-Your 8-year old son's target rifle is an M-240
-Your neighbors are members of the local militia
-You are a member of the local militia

You know you're Zinairian if...

1. You own at least one ZMW SUV.
2. You're never heard of Lucifer- only Lenin.
3. You're afraid to go to Grise without an armed escort.
4. You don't think it's weird that the prime minister is also on the board of several companies.
5. You've never seen a limo (or when you did, you threw things at it)
6. You think Muslim is a kind of cloth.
7. You're afraid to be left alone with someone who speaks German.

You might be a Belkan if...

You have ever used the phrase "yiff in hell"

You have ever wondered how a crayon company that re-names fifty different shades of grey stays in buisness

You have ever had dirty thoughts about Emperor Mundus

You consider Latin a living language

You have ever bought marijuana from the public market

You know the best strategic defense points in your neighborhood by heart

You have ever used public service to pay for a prostitute

You have ever eaten human flesh and octopus in the same sandwich

You have seen several co-workers naked, and you are a banker

You know you're a Falkasian if....

1. You live in a highly-polluted, semi-Orwellian society.

2. You recieve regular vists from the Police and Army asking to use your bathroom.

3. You have been part of the armed forces for at least 3 years.

4. You secretly hate the Prime Minister's guts, but keep your mouth shut.

5. You are incredibly adept at urban and vertical warfare.

6. Local playgrounds border missile batteries.

7. The cars outside are just as beat up as you are.

8. You work for a company whose name starts with the word Falkasian.

9. You speak Russian...... and verbally harass anybody who doesn't.

10. Most of your neighbors dream of driving a Zamboni.

*You're rich and pay more taxes then the less fortunate, even though the tax rate is 100%.

*The welfare of the environment and the Kitsunes trumps that of business every single time.

*Seeing a naked guy/girl doesn't faze you.

*All known sex offenders in your nation have been 'fixed' like dogs or cats.

*When people mention a 'Prison' or 'Jail', you wonder "What is that?"

*You wonder why in some other nations homosexuals/bisexuals don't have the same rights as hetrosexuals.

*You live by the national motto "As long as it harms none, do as you will".

*Those who run for public office know they're not going to have huge paychecks.

*Everyone has to vote, yet there's the "None of the above" option on the ballots.

*You've worn your pajamas to school and didn't get in trouble for it.

*The military sucks so bad, they'd even lose against a bear.

*The government allows groups that criticise the government to exist 'and' speak out against it.

*You can't trust the news to be accurate and truthfull (due to ultimate free-press leglistration; not the government controling the news).

*Someone from The Souless Lands of Generic Buracuracy said "Your nation is full of hippies and gypsies and I laugh at the misfortune of your farmers unemotionaly."

*You tell a Japanese person the name of your currency and said Japanese person thinks you buy and sell things with 'ice'.

*The government is trying to communicate with space aliens.

*Cheese is an icon of political disent.

*The head of the military wishes to have the power to be able to have enough firepower to destroy the entire human race (Good thing the current leader is a pacifist).

*The International Affairs Advisor is the most conservitave and discriminatory woman on the face of the planet (if not in the top 50).

(FYI: The national animal (Kitsune) is "Fox" in Japanese and the currency of Shimokorihi is the "Kori")

You know you're Doomani if...

-You end every written sentence with 'D:<'
-You write all your Us as Vs
-You are incapable of comprehending Arabic numerals
-You went to school 14 hours a day, 6 days a week
-The only reason they taught you to read was so you could memorize your Bible passages more easily
-They were teaching you to kill infidels the rest of the time
-'Foreigner' and 'slave' are synonyms (and you own at least five of them, fucking Questarians)
-You were 'issued' a wife at age 16
-You have at least 12 children as a result, because everyone knows that condoms are tools of heathen subversion
-You smoke two packs of (unfiltered, fucking Questarians) cigarettes a day
-Everyone who doesn't speak Latin is a barbarian
-Barbarian is also a synonym for slave
-You have a portrait AND bust of the Emperor (o/ o/ o/ o/ o/)
-You've been employed by your company since you were sperm in your daddy's dick
-You have an inexplicable permenant scowl, especially when you aren't particularly angry
-Most foreigners you meet assume that you've killed at least one person
-Your idea of fun is watching Kahanistani senators being ripped limb from limb by wild animals
-Beer.
-Your youngist child is capable of operating and firing a rocket propelled grenade launcher (fucking infidels)
-You learned to operate and fire a rocket propelled grenade launcher as soon as you were strong enough to pull the trigger
-The first gift you ever recieved was a rifle from the Emperor (o/ o/ o/ o/ o/)
-The second gift you ever recieved was a can of ammunition from the Emperor (o/ o/ o/ o/ o/)
-You hold just about every nationality other than yours in contempt (fucking Questarians)
-You go to Church EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK
-You actualy believe all that wierd crap the Doomani Catholic Church spouts
-You have a physical inhibition to questioning authority
-You're pretty tall
-JAYWALKERS ARE TO BE SHOT ON SIGHT (FVCKING QVESTARIANS D:<)
-You actualy believe Doomingsland is a free country
-You work 14 hours a day, 5 days a week...at a white collar job
-All infidels are to be subject to EXTERMINATVS D:<

AHA!!!! I'VE FOUND IT!!!! THE OFFICIAL VIDEO GAME OF THE DOMINION OF DASTARDLY STENCH!!!!!!!!!

SO...

You MIGHT BE from the Dominion of Dastardly Stench if your favorite video game is...

http://www.bizarrevideogames.com/fartfart.php

You know your a Dynamic Revolutionary if...

You've killed a brother, 3rd cousin, and your aunts roomates best friends boyfriends chihuahua in the last revolution

You didn't know that "semi-auto" actually existed

You and your Grandfather actually fight in the same unit

You have only memorized a few books
Bible
Infantryman's guide
You and your Rifle
Grenades for Dummies
How to fight like a gorilla
Thats not JUST a table leg! That's a weapon!

You've never been in a fight because you know that you would both end up dead

You dream of doing unholy things to Laura Cromwall Steiner

(That's the great thing about this thread! Every time I make a new post, someone else puts in another kewl contribution!)