NationStates Jolt Archive

AAP NEWS
4 BILLIONTH ASGARNIAN

Today, Asgarnieu celebrated its four billionth citizen, a milestone of great proportions.

"Most nations around here don't get such a population," President Herbert was quoted earlier. "It's just an immense pleasure."

The child, a boy born to parents Mr. Gregor Ivanovitch and Mrs. Lindsay Ivanovitch of Balkan City, was weighed in at six pounds and four ounces. He was born at St. John's Memorial Hospital, and is reported to be in pristine condition.

"We never thought it would be our child. We weren't even paying attention to that sort of thing," the parents said.

When asked if their child would be more special to them than their others, they had this to say:

"Even though he's special, he's no more special than any of our other kids. He'll get no real special treatment from us. We want him to recieve the same treatment as all of the other kids."

The President officially offered the child and his parents a one-million AGP savings account to be released to the child on his 18th birthday.

The President also stated that he would begin resizing the military to comply with the current need for troops.

AAP NEWS

It was a stormy night in Kurona. Unable to sleep a pregnate Ausha McKnight lied awake in bed next to her sound sleeping husband. People were predicting that her child would mark the 4 billionth citizen in Kurona. She had 4 other kids whom she loved dearly. A small farm, and she recently heard of the birth of the 4 billionth citizen in another country. She lit the lanter to a dim glow and began writing a letter for the family and the Government.


Dear Mr. Gregor Ivanovitch and Mrs. Lindsay Ivanovitch,

I recently read about your special event. The birth of the 4 billionth citizen in the country is something to be truly feel special about. I my self am currently pregnate, and many are predicting that I will probably give birth to Kurona's own 4 billionth citizen. Boy or girl I'm sure excited for it, and a little nervouse. Once again I congradulate you and send you a gift of our freshest crop of corn. Please enjoy

Sincerly,
Ausha McKnight

AAP NEWS
4 BILLIONTH ASGARNIAN

Today, Asgarnieu celebrated its four billionth citizen, a milestone of great proportions.

"Most nations around here don't get such a population," President Herbert was quoted earlier. "It's just an immense pleasure."

The child, a boy born to parents Mr. Gregor Ivanovitch and Mrs. Lindsay Ivanovitch of Balkan City, was weighed in at six pounds and four ounces. He was born at St. John's Memorial Hospital, and is reported to be in pristine condition.

"We never thought it would be our child. We weren't even paying attention to that sort of thing," the parents said.

When asked if their child would be more special to them than their others, they had this to say:

"Even though he's special, he's no more special than any of our other kids. He'll get no real special treatment from us. We want him to recieve the same treatment as all of the other kids."

The President officially offered the child and his parents a one-million AGP savings account to be released to the child on his 18th birthday.

The President also stated that he would begin resizing the military to comply with the current need for troops.

AAP NEWS

If, the Asgarnieu government would be willing to borrow 2 billion of our citizens, the Commonwealth Kingdom of United Earthlings would also be able to celebrate this milestone of great proportions. Alas, we can't and instead have to worry about the approaching annoying never shut up 6th billion citizen of our great nation. However, we do have come good news. With compulsory military service for all, we can instill some discipline into them to get them to shut up. This also works should the need arise to defend the nation. With a nation of 3 billion+ jerks ready to annoy anyone who dare oppose us at a moment's notice, we can say with much assertiveness that we have the best military on the planet. No nation can match, the annoyance of our citizens. :D

Anyway, our point that got lost was. Congratulations.

2890 Hydrian Avenue
Balkan City, 93347
Balkan City S.A.R., United Democratic Empire of Asgarnieu

To: Mz. Ausha McKnight
From: Ivanovitch Family

We thank you for your generous gift. As a form of thanks, we are sending you a batch of our finest home-made plum and apricot jams.

We wish you the best of luck with your child, and hope that your child is indeed the four-billionth Kuronian.

It is a great pleasure of ours, and we thank you for writing us. We don't usually get too much mail, and international letters are unheard of in our neighborhood.

Thank you for your care,

Gregor Ivanovitch
Lindsay Ivanovitch