NationStates Jolt Archive


Church of Raptor Jesus declared an official religion!

Tocrowkia
15-05-2007, 02:03
http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/8537/raptorjesuspngedtnqm0.png (http://imageshack.us)
The official logo of the Raptor Jesus Church

Today the Tocrowkian Reich announced that after several years, the Church of Raptor Jesus would be both a legally recognized and respected faith. The move is controversial to many other faith's in the Reich as they believe the Raptor Jesuit faith to be both flawed and insane. However, recent demographics have shown that the Church of Raptor Jesus is the second-fasted growing religion in the Tocrowkian Reich behind neo-paganism, with over a billion practitioners.

The Church of Raptor Jesus holds that:


The Lord Jesus Christ was a raptor
Moses was an Allosaurus
God a tyrannosaurus
And Satan was a Compsognathus


They believe like other Christians, that Jesus died (or went extinct in this case) for their sins. Church Members pledge to use expressions like "LoL!" and "It's Raptor Jesus, lmao!" in real-life, ever day conversations among other things.

The leader of the Church issued a statement to Governments around the world:

"It's time we wake up and realize the truth. No where in the bible does it say Jesus was not a Raptor. The Lord Christ was indeed a dinosaur! He went extinct for our sins...we must realize this. I hope nations around the world start allowing our faith to spread, for it is the one and true path of all Christians."

-Reich Foreign Ministry-
Jaredcohenia
15-05-2007, 02:15
ALL HAIL THE GREAT RAPTOR JESUS

He went extinct for our sins.

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/8836/raptorjesus2gq9.jpg
Tocrowkia
15-05-2007, 04:31
Inded he did.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-
The PeoplesFreedom
15-05-2007, 04:33
State Department Communication
Laugh out loud. Thank you.
Axis Nova
15-05-2007, 04:45
www.raptorattack.com
1010102
15-05-2007, 04:52
www.raptorattack.com

LOL!
Siriusa
15-05-2007, 04:59
www.raptorattack.com

Best. Site. Ever.
Trailers
15-05-2007, 12:28
This be Sskiss's work. c.c I can smell his impeccable hairdo.
Skgorria
15-05-2007, 14:18
www.raptorattack.com

The entire purpose of the internet was to create that site, it really is that awesome
Naestoria
15-05-2007, 15:01
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/naestoria.jpg
Will suffice until I create a proper logo

Official Statement
Foreign Affairs Department, The Academy, Zion
The Republic of Naestoria
May 7, 2026

The Republic of Naestoria hereby issues an official condemnation of:

a) Das Reich von Tocrowkia, for making use of one of the oldest and most tired memes on the internet.

b) The Republic of Jaredcohenia, for posting ridiculously oversized image spam.

We'd hope something particularly nasty would happen to you, except that is against our religion, so instead we will allow you to await the wrath of G(M)od.

[unsigned]
Kormanthor
15-05-2007, 21:32
You obviously have to much time on your hands