NationStates Jolt Archive

It was Dr. Deimos who answered the page, and some of the Masakis might have recognized him from his previous treatment of Master Whitfield as he walked by. Thankfully, unlike Teh Fangirls, he was able to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than drooling over 'OMG Royals!!!11!!!!1!!' As he walked by, he waved. "I will be back in a moment, just after I take care of some loose odds and ends," he reassured the Masakis on his way to Daniel's cryochamber.

When he found Dr. Patel, he requested that said cryobacta be pumped, or otherwise transported, up to Daniel's cryochamber. He hoped to just pump the old cryofluid out and pump the cryobacta in.

It was Dr. Deimos who answered the page, and some of the Masakis might have recognized him from his previous treatment of Master Whitfield as he walked by. Thankfully, unlike Teh Fangirls, he was able to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than drooling over 'OMG Royals!!!11!!!!1!!' As he walked by, he waved. "I will be back in a moment, just after I take care of some loose odds and ends," he reassured the Masakis on his way to Daniel's cryochamber.

When he found Dr. Patel, he requested that said cryobacta be pumped, or otherwise transported, up to Daniel's cryochamber. He hoped to just pump the old cryofluid out and pump the cryobacta in.

Patel nodded, and said simply, "We can get moving as soon as possible." He then cried out, "Stevenson! Get the cryobacta into the storage tanks and move it to the Cryochamber area! Have the techs prepare the pumps up there for standard fluid changing procedure, but tell them not to move until the cryobacta is up there!" Stevenson nodded, and then moved the massive flatbed dolly with the vital fluid to the room where the cryochamber was at. Hooking a dispensal end up to one end of the pump and the expurgation end into a spare tank for old fluid, Patel then called Deimos and said, "Whenever you're ready. We've hooked up the equipment for expurgation of old fluid, installation of the cryobacta."

Chin smiled and said, "Colonel, you seem to have a knack for trouble....why the lawyer?" At that, Park walked up and said to Chin, "Mr. Chin, I am Thomas Park, esquire. I represent the Colonel in the eventuality charges are filed against him by the State."

At that, Chin frowned. "I don't see why a Jedi duel would need the intervention of the State." At that, Tommy said, "Well, son, Masaki-dono and the Colonel certainly think there are no grounds for the excessive force clause of the National Law. Madame has even chosen to drop charges. But, there might be some out there who feel it is needed, and as always, LAPD would like to know how a fellow got into the hospital."

Chin sighed. The National Law was regarded by Acolytes as a bother; something the politicos dreamed up to ease the public's fear of "Force users run amok." He then said, "I see. So even though the Colonel is not in danger from the family, the State will endanger him anyway?" To that, Tommy said, "It's a bitch, but it's okay. I've got a plan; I'm gonna make a motion to delay proceedings until our paitent is fully healed and able to self-advocate."

To that, Chin then said, "I guess that works. But that crowd is nasty....they will not like this." Turning to the Colonel, he then said, with his head shaking, "And those fangirls will want blood." Tommy merely stated, "You think? That's very obvious...."

Chin then returned to a somewhat cheery self. Extending his hand out, he calmly shook the hands of the Masakis, going, "Pleased to meet you all, I am Chin Tai-Wong, Comrade 3rd Class People's Acolytes." He then removed his lightsaber and showed the logo of the Acolytes on the bottom, as proof that he wasn't just some asshole who wandered in, before holstering it. "I prefer dual Colt Government pistols myself."

As this occurred, the cryobacta was ready, and Patel then informed the Woodian doctors they were ready.
"I know a few Jedi who prefer dual pistols." Jacob was the one who greeted Chin and inspected his lightsaber and creds. "Not to mention my currently frozen brother likes to wield dual Westar 50s when going underground. It's fairly popular."

OOC: CW had writers’ block, or something, so we kind of RP’ed this over IM…

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"You're the guy who froze daddy?" one young Riley Masaki asked in an accusatory voice.

Keith Allaire merely shrugged in response. "Something tells me you would not care if he had fried me to death instead," he replies to the kid, turning Riley's complaint on its head.

"That'd because you're weak." On the surface, the statement seemed odd, maybe even funny, coming from an eight-year-old girl, but Keith knew full well what it meant.

"But because I am not, you complain that I defeated your father." Keith sighed. "What is a Jedi to do?"

"C'mon, won't you show me how you knocked out my brother? I'm the resident Fire Knight, you know!" Taylor interrupted.

"Neg." Keith replied coldly.

"I'll figure it out anyway so might as well get it out of the way." Taylor pointed out, at the same time that Riley blurted out, "Yeah, because he's *my* dad!"

"Then figure it out," Keith, perfectly able to parse the two complaints, replied to Taylor, glaring at him in the process. Shifting his glare of doom to the kid, he added, "Well, perhaps you should tell your father to avoid going out of his way to pick fights, then." Riley stared up at Keith with a younger version of her mom's Stare 'o' Doom. Taylor just threw up his hands and stalked off.

Keith glared at the kid. "So let me get this straight. Daniel Masaki walks up to me and attacks me. I am not allowed to defend myself on account of 'IT'S A MASAKI!' and should just roll over and allow him to murder me, quiaff?"
:
"You still shouldn't freeze him!"

"Well, unfortunately, you are a member of his family, so you would never quite understand the feeling of 'he is charging up enough lightning to kill me, and I need to do something to paralyze him within the next two seconds to save my life,' because it will never happen to you."

"But you won and I don't like you for winning and that's that!" Oh, yes, the eight-year-old was behaving just like an eight-year-old.

"Nothing quite like being told, 'you should have just rolled over and let him kill you' by a little girl."

Riley smiled in agreement and skipped away.

Jacob sighed and looked at his sister-in-law. "She's definitely your daughter."

"I know. Little spitfire, isn't she?" Katrina beamed. Jacob groaned in reply and rubbed his temples. Keith had other ideas, however…

"Hey, Jacob, would it be possible for me to procure your services?" Keith asks, shrugging off Riley. While he certainly hadn't made any friends, he wasn't going to go around smacking little girls today, even if they DID deserve it.
:
"What do you need?" Jacob asked.

"I need to repair an iron naginata. It has quite a bit of tension/torsion damage from another duel that you can ask Chin about."

"I could do that. What materials would you want included?"

"If you could remove metal impurities, it would be appreciated. It was Somalia, you know, so I kind of...had to improvise with a used car axle?"

Jacob smiled. "Give me a little time. When I'm done with it, you'll never want for another naginata."

"Maybe add an alloy to make it stronger. I am not a metallurgist, so I do not know." Keith grinned. "Oh, and are there any materials out there that you could coat it with, so it would be lightsaber-resistant?"

"Hmm. There's cortosis and phrik. The second is more popular. Titanium-steel sounds good."

"Would it hold up in a duel?" Keith asked, not wanting the spear to get sliced in half if he used it in a lightsaber duel.

"Magnaguard droids used phrik staves against the Jedi in the Clone Wars." Thinking about other materials that might be required, Jacob added, “Hmm. then there's durasteel, from soft to starship-grade.”

"I would shell out for the good stuff. Question is, would phrik coating still allow me to grip the thing wherever I wanted? Otherwise, I may as well just go for a double-hilted lightsaber. Though blocking a lightsaber with a fifty-pound object probably makes it easier to force the opponent back."

Jacob simply smiled. "You forget, people consider me the Order's most skilled alchemist. I could make it grip well."

Keith returned the grin. "I just want it to shock my opponent, not myself. If you need me around to make it more...receptive to my presence, that can be arranged.”

"You'll get it before Daniel awakes." Jacob promised. "Now, show me this naginata."

"I left it in my hotel room. Perhaps it would be appropriate to meet there tonight?" However, it occurred to Keith that it might not be a good idea to keep Jacob waiting. "On second thought...oh, hell." Keith vanished in a puff of smoke as he teleports to retrieve it. A moment later, he popped back with the fifty-plus-pound monstrosity, with its 75 inch shaft and 36 inch blade, in hand. It needs to be cleaned of all the blood caked on it, Keith admitted sheepishly, using telepathy in an attempt to avoid the lawyer’s questions.

"No problem. Just have to get past the fans." Jacob said wryly. "Of course, that works too." Jacob took the weapon. His first comment: "Heavy."

"I told you I had made it from a used car axle." Keith nodded.

"Yeah. I could see that. Substandard too." Jacob frowned. "Well, I'm going to work on it."

"Somalia is not exactly the place to go shopping for quality materials. Enjoy." Keith waved as he went to go see how the doctors were doing...

"Somalia is not exactly the place to go shopping for quality materials. Enjoy." Keith waved as he went to go see how the doctors were doing...

Patel, meanwhile, had by now successfully completed the fluid change. Turning to Colonel Allaire, he then replied, "Ah, Allaire, was it? Please, come in." Pointing Keith to the cryochamber, Patel beamed, saying "Having been time for the change of cryonic material anyway, the cryobacta was carefully metered and pumped into the chamber hosting the eminent Mr. Masaki. I can't thank Dr. Deimos and Kavanowskii for their aid in doing this. His condition is currently stabilized; of course, your co-nationals tell me he will need a long soak..."

In the meantime, Chin stroked his chin and said to Jacob, "Hmm. I didn't figure Daniel for a dual pistols sort of fellow. I always imagined him as a dual swords sort of person in his way of fighting. Fascinating." He thought for a moment, and said, "I wonder what it would be like if I started my own School based on dual pistols combat...."

He nodded as Jacob looked over the saber and his credentials; which would be legit. People's Acolytes lightsabers would have a sort of factory-made appearance, though admittedly, to keep that handmade feel the factory was actually a small workshop that made the blades in small batches, each getting them "consecrated" with the Oath of the People's Acolytes upon the recipient's promotion to Comrade and a serial number, plus other unique embellishments. Chin's had Chinese characters on it, that read, if one knew Hong Kong Cantonese--"In the name of Heaven, Seek Justice, Do Unto Evil What Evil Would Do Unto You. Thus Always to Tyrants!" If the Masakis knew Kanji, then they might be able to eke out something to that effect.

As for Tommy, he didn't mind the spear itself. After all, it wasn't his job to judge his client's proclivities, just to protect his rights. Still, that spear looked awfully big. The heck kind of duel was he doing?

As for Tommy, he didn't mind the spear itself. After all, it wasn't his job to judge his client's proclivities, just to protect his rights. Still, that spear looked awfully big. The heck kind of duel was he doing?

Unfortunately for Tommy, hiding his thoughts from Jedi, as a non-Force-user, was difficult when Jedi parties were interested. "Questions about the spear have you?" Colonel Allaire asked. "I am sure Chin could tell you about it."

Unfortunately for Tommy, hiding his thoughts from Jedi, as a non-Force-user, was difficult when Jedi parties were interested. "Questions about the spear have you?" Colonel Allaire asked. "I am sure Chin could tell you about it."

Chin chuckled and said, "Sure. Leave the minority to speak about the spear." Turning to Tommy, Chin said, "The Colonel here knows martial arts--I bet you figured that out by now--and as such, he elected to acquire some martial arts weapons. Mainly, he built one from scratch. Even made a journey out into the boondocks to did it. Took me a bit to try and find him, he dissapeared from my Force sense."

Tommy simply replied, "Wow. Wish the guys down at Burger World would have that sense of care with my egg and sausage sandwiches." Chin replied, putting a hand on his shoulder, "My friend, don't eat fast food. You may save yourself."

"I sense that you are not finished with your questions," Keith prodded Tommy, wanting to pry them out. Oh, yes, Tommy was going to have an interesting time of this; it wasn't often that defense attorneys worked with clients who could poke a little into their minds. Worse for Tommy, Keith, having trained under a Jedi politician, was a bit better at the mind games than most...

"I sense that you are not finished with your questions," Keith prodded Tommy, wanting to pry them out. Oh, yes, Tommy was going to have an interesting time of this; it wasn't often that defense attorneys worked with clients who could poke a little into their minds...

Chin then Forcemessaged Keith, sensing something at work, not exactly what "Colonel, I'm not sure if this would go well with your client. Really."

Protestations aside, Keith would notice Tommy wondering about that blood on the spear. Knowing those angry fangirls outside, they would use that as evidence of excessive force real quick, ignoring the fact judo and the combat sports so popular in New Dornalia often shed blood as well in their attempt to "protect" their idol. "I wonder how I'm going to...wait...maybe I'll invoke UFC and World's Best Judo. Yeah. Maybe invite a couple of those guys to show excessive force and what it really is."

Keith gave Chin an awkward grin. "I am his client, not the other way around," he said, motioning to the lawyer. But, yes, stopping the mind-reading might be a good idea. The Colonel just wanted to get the questions out.

"Umm. Yeah." He humored the lawyer, even though his iron naginata had been involved in certain other self-defense activities in Somalia. After all, the gang of thugs had come after him before that spear ever existed... "Perhaps Jacob would have the sense to teleport it out of here. No hassling with fangirls required," he added.

Keith gave Chin an awkward grin. "I am his client, not the other way around," he said, motioning to the lawyer. But, yes, stopping the mind-reading might be a good idea. The Colonel just wanted to get the questions out.

"Umm. Yeah." He humored the lawyer, even though his iron naginata had been involved in certain other self-defense activities in Somalia. After all, the gang of thugs had come after him before that spear ever existed... "Perhaps Jacob would have the sense to teleport it out of here. No hassling with fangirls required," he added.

Chin then shook his head, saying, "I just wish they weren't here, period. You wouldn't believe the amount of Jedi Mind Trickery needed to slip through them and their cries of "KAWAII DESU!!!!" Ugh." He exaggerated the cry of the fangirl, making Tommy wince and say, "Please don't do that again! Please."

Chin replied merely, "Just proving a point. But yes, it would be wise to get that out of here. If they get their hands on it, it might end up on eBay. Cheap profiteers."

As this occurred, a man in a suit and tie walked through the lines of people, most notably the fangirls, who were by now screaming "WE WANT ANSWERS!" and "watashitachi ha kotae gahoshiito omou!" in badly pronounced pseudo-Japanese and waving icons of their idol. The man then glared at them, and said, "One more cry of that, and its disturbing the peace! NOW SHUT UP!" The Oendan then stilled itself, and then glared at the policeman as he entered the facility. Upon inquiring after the whereabouts of the eminent paitent, he was greeted with a stare. He then flashed his badge, which simply bore the icon of the Los Angeles Police Department. Upon that, the lady said, "Burn and Cold Injury Ward" and a curt point to the elevator. Moments later, he was on his way to ask a few questions.

"Do not do that again." On this, Colonel Allaire actually agreed with his lawyer. Chin got Teh Look.

He was just about to leave, when the police arrived. "Umm. Hello," Colonel Allaire greeted the officer, a bit more politely than what his thoughts indicated about the annoyance. He would have rather scheduled an appointment to show up at the police station. "You are probably looking for me."

"Do not do that again." On this, Colonel Allaire actually agreed with his lawyer. Chin got Teh Look.

He was just about to leave, when the police arrived. "Umm. Hello," Colonel Allaire greeted the officer, a bit more politely than what his thoughts indicated about the annoyance. He would have rather scheduled an appointment to show up at the police station. "You are probably looking for me."

The man showed Keith his badge, and the man simply replied, not caring whether Keith was annoyed or not, "Afternoon. I'm Detective Mulroney from the Los Angeles Police Department. I got a call from those toy soldiers at CP. They said that there had been some kinda Jedi duel, like in those comic books my kid reads. And that involved was some big white guy who happened to match your description."

Sardonically remarking as he faced the window which showed the crowd, "And I see that judging by the crowds, the paitent in this hospital was involved, which makes you the Tall, Muscled White Male ISB-CP in Post 456 Somalia faxed me about." Turning to Chin he said, "And I supposed you're the Chinese they mentioned too."

Pulling out a pen and paper, he smiled and said, "Now boys, I'm not here to arrest you, I'm here to just make an inquiry to see if I even have to. State of California follows National Law, so what's business in one part of the Workers State has to be ours. Considering that you brought a near riot to my city, I think this Q&A is necessary, no?" Motioning with his head towards a spare breakroom, he then said, "Follow me, gents."

Chin sighed; he had nothing to do with the Duel whatsoever. However, Keith probably had more to deal with now. He followed the detective to a small breakroom, whereupon he shut the door and mounted a white noise generator to keep things secure.

Jacob prepared to leave when he noted the LAPD guy appearing. He sighed. "I hope he doesn't get lynched for all this..."

With that final note, he disappeared with a tiny poof of smoke to pick up the materials he would need to rebuild the weapon in his hand...

Oh no. And now the mob will demand I be put to death as soon as this police officer leaves the building.

"Umm, yes...however, I wish to have my attorney present for this interrogation." Colonel Allaire had heard the horror stories of large, urban police departments extracting false confessions from those whose prosecutions would be politically convenient.

Oh no. And now the mob will demand I be put to death as soon as this police officer leaves the building.

"Umm, yes...however, I wish to have my attorney present for this interrogation." Colonel Allaire had heard the horror stories of large, urban police departments extracting false confessions from those whose prosecutions would be politically convenient.

Tommy lept up to the plate, knocking on the door and saying, "Under the Worker's Bill of Rights, I demand that I be present to prevent self-incrimination. My client may be just going in for a 'quick chat,' but I want to make sure nothing happens." Sighing, Mulroney rolled his eyes and opened the door, saying, "Jesus Tap Dancing Christ. All I want is to ask some questions; I get the Law in my face. This isn't the Stalinist Era, I'm not going to make him dissapear." Tommy then replied, sternly, putting his hands on the table: "I did not imply that, Detective. But, my client has rights if he is to be tried under our laws."

Detective Mulroney just shrugged and said, "Fine, fine. Not like I was gonna do much. Jeez..." Tommy glared at him, acting unusually defensive in a departure from what was an otherwise sheltered and easygoing manner.

Mulroney then turned to Keith and asked him the same question many others had asked by now. "What exactly happened over there in Somalia?"

Jacob prepared to leave when he noted the LAPD guy appearing. He sighed. "I hope he doesn't get lynched for all this..."

With that final note, he disappeared with a tiny poof of smoke to pick up the materials he would need to rebuild the weapon in his hand...

Jacob would find, if he chose to stay in the fine city of Los Angeles, plenty of scrapyards and metal shops to obtain the necessary metal to rebuild the crude naginata into something worthy of stories to tell. East LA, City of Industry, Hawthorne, Long Beach, whatnot, were all available for him to get stuff from. And, if he looked in Little Tokyo, he might even find a blademaker who made swords in the old way, for wealthy clients, sword collectors and Nipponophiles alike who could help out.

Keith sighed, and as he wanted to get this over with, he gave the detective the Short Version. "With Daniel? I was rock-climbing, minding my own business, when he challenged me to a duel. So we dueled, and he started accumulating this vast electrical charge. I figured I better do something to make sure that I would not get fried, so I sent a glob of liquid oxygen and liquid nitrogen at him...I claim self-defense. Not to mention it is my understanding that Jedi affairs are protected under the Workers' Bill of Rights."

Keith sighed, and as he wanted to get this over with, he gave the detective the Short Version. "With Daniel? I was rock-climbing, minding my own business, when he challenged me to a duel. So we dueled, and he started accumulating this vast electrical charge. I figured I better do something to make sure that I would not get fried, so I sent a glob of liquid oxygen and liquid nitrogen at him...I claim self-defense. Not to mention it is my understanding that Jedi affairs are protected under the Workers' Bill of Rights."

Chin nodded, and said, "I can corroborate his story, although by the time I arrived, Mr. Masaki and the Colonel had left for UCLA Medical."

Mulroney wrote that part down, before Tommy declared strongly, "Detective Mulroney, my client is invoking his rights to Jedi Dueling under the National Law Concerning Psykers and Force Users--more known as the Hawley-Lew Act. His rights to a Jedi duel are protected by freedom of religion clauses in the Worker--"

Mulroney sighed; he wasn't eager to do this either and just wanted to go home. As it was, he was having a good day too until LAPD brass assigned him to the job, and if Keith was feeling him out, he would pick up on that. Facepalming, he held his hand up and said, "I get it, Mr. Park. I get it. So it was a Jedi duel. What about that giant spear the fellow was holding? And the blood on it? I worked all kinds of cases in my time; I pick up on these things."

Park replied to Keith, "Colonel, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

Oh, yes. Keith sensed that Detective Mulroney was just as eager to get out of here as he was. His frustrated voice practically radiated it. However, he suspected that if the detective noticed Keith feeling him out, he would get Extremely Pissed Off, making it all the more likely he would recommend the local judiciary lynch him.

Meanwhile, Tommy Park heard voices in his head. Keith's voice, to be exact. While Taking the Fifth might seem good short-term, I sense it will do nothing but raise suspicions later, he advised his lawyer. And Chin was present for much more of that than he was for the Jedi duel.

"I had scarcely set foot on Somalian ground before I was attacked by gun-wielding, motorcycle-riding thugs belonging to organized crime," Colonel Allaire told the police officer. "I defended myself against those thugs, and then the whole organization got angry at me. At which point it became very necessary for me to defend myself against large roving bands of submachine-gun-wielding mercenaries from time to time."

Oh, yes. Keith sensed that Detective Mulroney was just as eager to get out of here as he was. His frustrated voice practically radiated it. However, he suspected that if the detective noticed Keith feeling him out, he would get Extremely Pissed Off, making it all the more likely he would recommend the local judiciary would lynch him.

Meanwhile, Tommy Park heard voices in his head. Keith's voice, to be exact. While Taking the Fifth might seem good short-term, I sense it will do nothing but raise suspicions later, he advised his lawyer. And Chin was present for much more of that than he was for the Jedi duel.

"I had scarcely set foot on Somalian ground before I was attacked by gun-wielding, motorcycle-riding thugs belonging to organized crime," Colonel Allaire told the police officer. "I defended myself against those thugs, and then the whole organization got angry at me. At which point it became very necessary for me to defend myself against large roving bands of submachine-gun-wielding mercenaries from time to time."

Park lept back just a little; it was one thing to be teleported to UCLA Medical, it was another to hear voices in your head. Park merely nodded, slightly freaked at the Forcemessage. Mulroney looked at him and said, "Something wrong, Mr. Park?" To that, Tommy replied, "Not really, no." Mulroney shrugged; he wasn't surprised. He wasn't usually impressed with lawyers, and Tommy Park was no exception. Besides, with two Jedi in the room--one Jedi and one Acolyte--things could get odd. Mulroney then turned to Chin and said, "Your buddy here tells quite a story. Can you back it up?"

Chin nodded and said, "Yes. I had come to Somalia, actually to investigate a smuggling ring which had links to Hong Kong Triads." Upon mentioning Triads, Chin's face narrowed, and Keith could probably sense some anger flowing out of him. "This was an organization led by a local pirate they called Father Abdi. when I tried to make my move in a bar to arrest two of his Agents, they attacked me, and the Colonel elected to end the fight before it broke into too much bloodshed. As such, the organization marked the Colonel and I for death, and we thus had the fight of our lives down there. I am sure ISB-CP mentioned that in their report, yes?"

Mulroney smiled. He didn't know if Chin was bullshitting him by reciting an episode of Hong Kong Supercop or telling the truth. Humoring the Chinese fellow, he pulled out a copy of the Report sent by ISB-CP Post 456, and then Mulroney read it over. He then put it down and said, "Yup. You boys got into a massive tussle alright. Report here says those who were willing to talk say that a bounty was on the heads of a White Guy and a Chinaman. Something about a Bible. Hmm."

He then put down the report and said, "Well, Colonel, Mr. Chin, I won't lie. You do seem to have a pretty good case for self-defense; though I do question Mr. Chin's adventurism." Turning to Chin, he said simply, "That sort of thing was better left to the Civil Patrol. People's Acolytes and Jedi have police powers, but they normally don't apply to Organized Crime."

Park then interjected with, "Detective, I'd like to point out that most organized crime groups use Plasmids, and therefore fall under the Anti-Rogue Psyker clause of the Hawley-Lew Act, which enables Jedi and Acolytes to battle organized criminals with Plasmids, per legal precedent under Nakajima v. Nomura."

Mulroney rebutted with, "Well, did they have Plasmids?"

Chin said, "Yes. They did. I am sure the Colonel can corroborate that."

Mulroney then nodded and said, "Good enough for me. You ask me, this whole media circus is getting on my nerves anyway. I'm gonna order some backup to get the crowds to disperse; in the meantime, I won't press charges in the name of the Workers and Peasants. CP won't, so they must have a damn good reason." Opening the door, he then waved and said, "You're free to go."

"Thank you. And yes, they had Plasmids. Good luck in dispersing the hordes of torches and pitchforks. If you wish, I can teleport you past them," the Colonel offered to Detective Mulroney. Keith was relieved, though not really visibly relieved, that the police hadn't lynched him like the mob outside wanted to. Every now and then, the Colonel could be reasonable...

"Thank you. And yes, they had Plasmids. Good luck in dispersing the hordes of torches and pitchforks. If you wish, I can teleport you past them," the Colonel offered to Detective Mulroney. Keith was relieved, though not really visibly relieved, that the police hadn't lynched him like the mob outside wanted to. Every now and then, the Colonel could be reasonable...

Mulroney replied, pulling up a cell, "Sure hold on." He could be easily heard uttering, "Yeah, this is Mulroney. I need LAPD Riot Squad down here. No, not the SWAT, not Tank Police, Riot Squad. No habla Engrish? Well, where the fuck are they? Cosplayers Pa--well, get your scrawny ass down here, we are going to have a major riot on our hands if you don't do something. The Masaki Oendan is here. They're full of hormones, and about to hit something with those katanas of theirs. Some look like plastic, others those shitty $80 mall katanas. Well, look, just get the fuck down here! NOW!"

He then hung up, and sighed. LAPD Riot Squad was powerful, but it was often busy, often doing this and that at the whim of the leadership. Dornalians sure loved to impose....Mulroney then replied, "So yeah, about that teleport?"

Colonel Allaire extended his hand. The lawyer, having been through this little ritual, might recognize what was about to happen. "Shake my hand, and you will be out of here," the Colonel said, in a much friendlier voice than he had started the little questioning session with. "Wilshire and Santa Monica Boulevard OK?"

Colonel Allaire extended his hand. The lawyer, having been through this little ritual, might recognize what was about to happen. "Shake my hand, and you will be out of here," the Colonel said, in a much friendlier voice than he had started the little questioning session with. "Wilshire and Santa Monica Boulevard OK?"

Looking at his watch, Mulroney replied, "What the hell. My day's up anywho. I'd be up for some action down in Wilshire, sure. Besides, guy like you running about, it might help to have a man of the law next to you." Tommy frowned, before Mulroney replied, with a chuckle "Relax, kid. Take a joke once in a while." Mulroney looked at Keith and declared with a handshake, "Beam me up, Scotty."

Keith closed his eyes and concentrated on the location of the intersection, especially important given that he wanted the two of them to end up on the sidewalk, not as roadkill. Fortunately, it had been along the route he had taken from UCLA to Beverly Center and his adjoining hotel room, which was why he had suggested that location in the first place...

*Pop!* Colonel Allaire appeared with cop right in the middle of the sidewalk on the northwest corner of the intersection, an experience that might be slightly disorienting for the officer. Then again, it might not. Waving goodbye, the Colonel said, "Have yourself a good evening, and now I need to defend my defense attorney from the fangirls that would otherwise mob him."

Keith did not hang around for long. He vanished in front of the officer, in a puff of smoke, having teleported back to the inside of UCLA Medical Center...

Detective Mulroney was about to thank Keith, but in a flash he was gone. Sighing, Mulroney hailed a taxi, and told him to get to Police HQ so he could clock out.

As this occurred, Tommy was getting nervous, with the LAPD Riot Squad showing up on the scene and forming into battle lines, shields raised along with electric nightsticks and the odd shotgun. The people down there wanted answers, and the Oendan was getting restless. The fact LAPD was ordering them to disperse quietly or else be charged with disorderly conduct wasn't making them leave, not when their idol was in the hospital and they "wanted to show their solidarity." "Some solidarity," Tommy uttered. "If only we could build a big statue of Daniel somewhere and get these guys out of here...."

Tommy might have been surprised to see the Colonel pop into existence right in front of him. Then again, maybe not.

"Hello again. Since my idea of 'formal attire' is Class A Dress Uniform that I do not have with me, it might be a good idea for you to help me pick out something that will not offend the judge, quiaff? Besides, Beverly Center is pretty far away from these fangirls of doom..."

Tommy might have been surprised to see the Colonel pop into existence right in front of him. Then again, maybe not.

"Hello again. Since my idea of 'formal attire' is Class A Dress Uniform that I do not have with me, it might be a good idea for you to help me pick out something that will not offend the judge, quiaff? Besides, Beverly Center is pretty far away from these fangirls of doom..."

Tommy raised a finger up and smiled. Proudly, he said, "Beverly Center? Hell, that's in the good side of town. I can definetly help you find some good clothes, though I know a couple of places if things get too expensive down there." A little more skeptically, he cautioned Keith with the words, "Don't be surprised if that's the case. Besides, I thought the good officer said he really didn't want to have the State press charges?" Shaking Keith's hand with the full expectation of a teleport, he said, "Let's do this."

"Earlier you made it seem like the State does whatever the hell it wants, regardless of the recommendation of the police. At least, as far as Somalia is concerned anyway." And then both of them disappeared from the hospital...

...and ended up in one of the Beverly Center parking garages, about five feet from the entrance of one of the anchor stores.

"Suggestions? You know this place better than I."

"Earlier you made it seem like the State does whatever the hell it wants, regardless of the recommendation of the police. At least, as far as Somalia is concerned anyway." And then both of them disappeared from the hospital...

...and ended up in one of the Beverly Center parking garages, about five feet from the entrance of one of the anchor stores.

"Suggestions? You know this place better than I."

Tommy replied, as they warped into the garage, "Well, like I reminded that policeman, this isn't the Stalinist Era. Our great Comrade Premier lets us speak our minds, use free choice, etc, and our People's Congress has finally enabled our people to have a say in their affairs. The state certainly has a lot of power, but its a more equal relationship now. And besides, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't protect your rights from the mob."

He then led Keith into the mall. Wandering about, he found a directory and muttered, "AH HA! There we go! You might benefit from an Armani suit. Barring that, something from Hugo Boss. I got both, they both look good to me. Sadly, my secretary knows more about men's suits than I. I only recognize the names are of quality...." He then led Keith around the mall, breathing in the air. Nobody recognized him yet so far, but Tommy was wary. Any one of these people might be an Oendan member, and if they saw Keith and got their imaginations working....ugh. Tommy didn't want to cause a scene with his Colt Detective Special.

Little did Lawyer Tommy know that that's just what Jacob Masaki was about to do, having found a nearby scrap yard (if you could call three miles nearby, but all celebrities know that fanatics can run at supersonic speeds) to grab a good-quality steel bar someone threw out. He offered the owner a nice bundle of cash not only for the bar, but also for the use of enough scrap metal to build a giant statue of Daniel Masaki to draw the otaku away from the hospital. Though the owner grumbled about the loss of the scrap, he accepted the cash. Besides, the fifteen minutes of fame can't be all bad for business, could it?

After the purchase, Jacob left the steel and the shaft and headed for the center of the scrap yard, climbing on the largest pile he could find. He clapped his hands and then slammed them down on the pile. Blue-white electricity coursed throughout the pile, drawing in all the metal and shaping it to his desire. When he was done, an impressive statue of his older brother rose above the scrap yard, his hairtail whipping back. It was fully clothed in battle robes and the pose itself was dynamic, complete with brandishing lightsaber.

Jacob jumped down from the statue, chuckling. "I can't wait to see the look on Daniel's face when he sees this!"

With that, he took back the material from the astonished dealer and teleported away.

Meanwhile, the crowd was almost ready to break when a voice cried out. "Hey! There's a giant statue of Daniel Masaki about three miles down the road! Come and see it!"

Jacob Masaki grinned as he teleported again, not waiting to see the stampede. This time, he went to search for a rare metal dealer in Little Tokyo, known for its technical prowess in ND. He needed some titanium and phrik alloy to finish off the naginata...

Calm down. Your nervousness radiates like heat from a fire. Tommy once again heard the Colonel's voice in his head, which might still spook him. But Keith could not risk talking about the situation out loud. He, too, sensed that if there were Masaki fangirls around, and they recognized them from paparazzi pictures beamed into their cell phones from the hospital rioters, there would be a scene, whether he liked it or not.

At which point, the Colonel conveniently found Beverly Center's Armani outlet. Conveniently only one of two within Los Angeles city limits. He ducked inside, perfectly aware that the Kings jersey he was wearing at the moment was a bit out of place here. But the clerks wouldn't be complaining when he whipped out his debit chip...

Little did Lawyer Tommy know that that's just what Jacob Masaki was about to do, having found a nearby scrap yard (if you could call three miles nearby, but all celebrities know that fanatics can run at supersonic speeds) to grab a good-quality steel bar someone threw out. He offered the owner a nice bundle of cash not only for the bar, but also for the use of enough scrap metal to build a giant statue of Daniel Masaki to draw the otaku away from the hospital. Though the owner grumbled about the loss of the scrap, he accepted the cash. Besides, the fifteen minutes of fame can't be all bad for business, could it?

After the purchase, Jacob left the steel and the shaft and headed for the center of the scrap yard, climbing on the largest pile he could find. He clapped his hands and then slammed them down on the pile. Blue-white electricity coursed throughout the pile, drawing in all the metal and shaping it to his desire. When he was done, an impressive statue of his older brother rose above the scrap yard, his hairtail whipping back. It was fully clothed in battle robes and the pose itself was dynamic, complete with brandishing lightsaber.

Jacob jumped down from the statue, chuckling. "I can't wait to see the look on Daniel's face when he sees this!"

With that, he took back the material from the astonished dealer and teleported away.

Meanwhile, the crowd was almost ready to break when a voice cried out. "Hey! There's a giant statue of Daniel Masaki about three miles down the road! Come and see it!"

Jacob Masaki grinned as he teleported again, not waiting to see the stampede. This time, he went to search for a rare metal dealer in Little Tokyo, known for its technical prowess in ND. He needed some titanium and phrik alloy to finish off the naginata...

The fangirls shrieked with the fury of the ancients, crying out in a thunderous roar, "WAAAGH!!!!!!" as they rushed past LAPD Riot Squad and onto the freeway in their Bacchanalian frenzy. As they were only a small portion of the crowd--and the most troublesome--they were easily able to snap up any and all taxis in the area as they tried to reach the statue. One taxi company, the Donegal Taxi Company, made a lot of money that day....

As that occurred, the rest of the curious crowd dispersed, obeying the will of LAPD Riot Squad and realizing they had better things to do.

Jacob's search would not be fruitless. In Little Tokyo, where he blended in as another Japanese fellow, he found a storefront marked "Ishikawa and Sons Advanced Materials Company." With a small adjoining warehouse, Jacob would be sure to find his titanium and phrik here.

As this occurred, Tommy sneaked around, and then went straight to the suits section. A sea of suits flew past him, and Tommy then said, quietly "Jeez. How does my secretary enjoy shopping for my suits!? Crazy." He looked at Keith, sizing his giant, well toned frame up, and then found a suit that seemed to match him. A simple gray, single breasted, two pocket affair, with a white shirt and black tie nearby to match, he turned and said to Keith, "Here's one that might work. Simple, dark color so stains don't show, and a black tie that will work for any occasion. I know black ties work well for me at least, not sure about you. What do you think?"

So far, nobody noticed him. Although the sight of a man in an LA Kings jersey shopping in a glitzy part of town drew stares. One little girl went, "Mommy, why does that man have a hockey shirt?" To that, her mother put her hand over her daughter's eyes, and said in a hushed but disdainful tone, "Don't look at the indigent, honey" before walking off.

As this occurred, Tommy sneaked around, and then went straight to the suits section. A sea of suits flew past him, and Tommy then said, quietly "Jeez. How does my secretary enjoy shopping for my suits!? Crazy." He looked at Keith, sizing his giant, well toned frame up, and then found a suit that seemed to match him. A simple gray, single breasted, two pocket affair, with a white shirt and black tie nearby to match, he turned and said to Keith, "Here's one that might work. Simple, dark color so stains don't show, and a black tie that will work for any occasion. I know black ties work well for me at least, not sure about you. What do you think?"

So far, nobody noticed him. Although the sight of a man in an LA Kings jersey shopping in a glitzy part of town drew stares. One little girl went, "Mommy, why does that man have a hockey shirt?" To that, her mother put her hand over her daughter's eyes, and said in a hushed but disdainful tone, "Don't look at the indigent, honey" before walking off.

Keith looked at the suit, somehow knowing that he would not like wearing it. However, the same could be said for everything here. Considering the likelihood that he would be imminently required to wear something like this for formal court appearances, he did not mention this out loud. It surely could not be that much worse than Class A's, could it?

He nodded to Tommy, and took the suit to the glitzy store's changing room. Trying it on, he could tell that, as long as he was stuck wearing this kind of clothing, this suit was going to be about as good as it got. He sensed the disdain of the people around him, and 'heard' the conversation of scorn between mother and child, and while he could have scared the bejeezus out of both of them by sending them a telepathic I heard that, he thought better of it. He would have enough enemies once the evening news ran.

He decided the suit fit him well enough, and emerged from the dressing room, his hockey jersey and pants on the same hangars the suit had been on a few minutes earlier. He had left those back in the dressing room so as to contain the stares. "Now to get the shoes," he muttered quietly to Tommy.

Keith looked at the suit, somehow knowing that he would not like wearing it. However, the same could be said for everything here. Considering the likelihood that he would be imminently required to wear something like this for formal court appearances, he did not mention this out loud. It surely could not be that much worse than Class A's, could it?

He nodded to Tommy, and took the suit to the glitzy store's changing room. Trying it on, he could tell that, as long as he was stuck wearing this kind of clothing, this suit was going to be about as good as it got. He sensed the disdain of the people around him, and 'heard' the conversation of scorn between mother and child, and while he could have scared the bejeezus out of both of them by sending them a telepathic I heard that, he thought better of it. He would have enough enemies once the evening news ran.

He decided the suit fit him well enough, and emerged from the dressing room, his hockey jersey and pants on the same hangars the suit had been on a few minutes earlier. He had left those back in the dressing room so as to contain the stares. "Now to get the shoes," he muttered quietly to Tommy.

Tommy quickly led him to a rack of shoes, saying simply, "Well, Colonel, this is where you take over. We've got loafers, penny loafers, fancy shoes of all kinds. I don't know your shoe size, so I can't pick one out for ya."

"Shoe size 13..." Keith quickly browsed the rack, looking for a pair of black loafers to go along with the grey suit. His eyes scanned up and down the aisle, looking for the magic number 13. First box...brown loafers, would not match the suit. Second box...third box. Aha!

He scurried off to the fitting room, to try them on. Yes, they fit all right, for which he was thankful, as it meant he could pay for his purchases and get the hell out of here. He changed back into his jeans and hockey jersey, as he still did not wish to actually wear the suit unless he had to. Whereupon he brought the suit on its hangars, and the loafers in their shoebox, out to pay for the goods. Yum yum.

By now, he had sensed enough of bystanders' reactions to the Kings jersey to know to get something else to wear while he wasn't wearing the monkey suit. That process, he expected to take about fifteen minutes, if that...

Tommy sighed. He was a lawyer, not a fashionista. Why wasn't his secretary doing this? Oh wait, because she's the only one that knows Spanish, and more than likely, she was helping Attorney Alvarez prepare a case. He sighed; Tommy didn't have the Force, but he could sense Keith's self-conciousness from a mile away.

After Keith paid for his goods, Tommy took a look around the various stores, settling on the John Morrison store down the way. New Dornalia's idea of trendy clothing, it looked fairly functional, not too outlandish, and something that would enable Keith to fit in. Unfortunately, it was, in essence, something akin to an Abercrombie and Fitch, but with better durability in clothing. One did have to pay for names and look, after all, and the nouveau riche in New Dornalia were eager to pay up to look good.

Oh, yes. Unfortunately for Tommy, his disdain at Keith's 'self-consciousness' was all to obvious to Keith's Jedi senses. It wasn't like the Colonel was prying into his mind, either. The Force gave it away, whether he wanted it to or not, and the only way to mitigate it was to dull awareness to surroundings, a potentially dangerous solutions with the hordes of Daniel Masaki fangirls floating about the city. While the Colonel could somewhat dull out Tommy and focus elsewhere, Tommy's feelings still managed to waft into Keith's general awareness of the Force.

Thus, it was time for Keith to commence Voices in Tommy's Head. You do realize that normally I would just wear my battle dress uniform? That it is so bloodstained from the duels I fought in Somalia that to wear it would make me instantly recognizable to Teh Fangirls of Doom? That in Evil Woody Thoughts, the hockey jersey would make a perfectly appropriate, casual substitute free of undesired double meanings?

Keith walked into the John Morrison store, looking for a golf shirt or something more...fashion-neutral. But he had a sudden bad feeling about this...

Keith walked into the John Morrison store, looking for a golf shirt or something more...fashion-neutral. But he had a sudden bad feeling about this...

Tommy sighed, and gritted his teeth. He quietly whispered angrily to Keith as he entered the store, "Colonel, I understand the situation completely. However, you're not in Evil Woody Thoughts. You are in Los Angeles. We play by slightly different rules here, Colonel, and one of them is that sports jerseys are good for most environments, but in places like this, they expect something better. I can't help it, these rich suckers make me nervous too--but that's the way they roll. And that Forcemessaging is making me as crazy as a shithouse rat! You've got a mouth...."

When they did enter, they were greeted by a slight woman, pale, with glasses and the standard issue polo that was the chain's uniform. She then said, "Welcome to John Morrison, What can I do for--" Her eyes widened, as she realized whom she was serving. It was the man her friends down at UCLA Medical sent cellphone pics of to her when the reports of the Masaki's arrival at UCLA Med sent the Oendan into action. They were grainy, and oft interrupted by shots of hospital security threatening them, but they recognized the man as the person who possibly hurt Daniel. After all, he seemed to be holding a spearlike object, and Daniel wasn't with the Masakis when they visited.

She then said, "Excuse me for one moment." Darting into a Ladies' Room stall, she quickly hit the speed dial on her cell, calling as many friends of her's as she possibly could. With all of them, she said thus:

"Hey, this is Katie-san. No, I'm fine. Guess what, guys. I have that scumbag who hurt Daniel-sama. He's in my shop. He wants to buy clothing. What's he look like? Like in the picture, duh! Yeah, bring the girls over here to Beverly Center, and get, like, ready for some heavy work. This guy's big."

She then hung up, washed her hands, and walked right up to Keith. She then said, with a smile, "Sorry about that. How can I help you today?" Tommy said, skeptically, "Got any polo shirts, or t-shirts for my client here?" Katie nodded and replied, saying, "Right this way," motioning for them to follow her to a rack of shirts.

As this occurred, a couple of well-dressed folk; two gentegata women, were shopping for clothes next to Tommy and Keith. They didn't look at the two, only muttering to one another about shirt sizes and whatnot. Of course, gentegata being gentegata, they had a sixth sense, and this one sensed something special about the man in back of her. She nudged her companion and muttered in Spanish, "I've a hunch--there's a guy behind you. Something special, si-nya? Watch him." The other replied back, in Spanish as well, "I'm a little busy right now..."

Tommy sighed, and gritted his teeth. He quietly whispered angrily to Keith as he entered the store, "Colonel, I understand the situation completely. However, you're not in Evil Woody Thoughts. You are in Los Angeles. We play by slightly different rules here, Colonel, and one of them is that sports jerseys are good for most environments, but in places like this, they expect something better. I can't help it, these rich suckers make me nervous too--but that's the way they roll. And that Forcemessaging is making me as crazy as a shithouse rat! You've got a mouth...."

"And what if I do not wish for others to overhear?" Keith asked Tommy under his breath.

When they did enter, they were greeted by a slight woman, pale, with glasses and the standard issue polo that was the chain's uniform. She then said, "Welcome to John Morrison, What can I do for--" Her eyes widened, as she realized whom she was serving. It was the man her friends down at UCLA Medical sent cellphone pics of to her when the reports of the Masaki's arrival at UCLA Med sent the Oendan into action. They were grainy, and oft interrupted by shots of hospital security threatening them, but they recognized the man as the person who possibly hurt Daniel. After all, he seemed to be holding a spearlike object, and Daniel wasn't with the Masakis when they visited.

She then said, "Excuse me for one moment." Darting into a Ladies' Room stall, she quickly hit the speed dial on her cell, calling as many friends of her's as she possibly could. With all of them, she said thus:

"Hey, this is Katie-san. No, I'm fine. Guess what, guys. I have that scumbag who hurt Daniel-sama. He's in my shop. He wants to buy clothing. What's he look like? Like in the picture, duh! Yeah, bring the girls over here to Beverly Center, and get, like, ready for some heavy work. This guy's big."

She then hung up, washed her hands, and walked right up to Keith. She then said, with a smile, "Sorry about that. How can I help you today?" Tommy said, skeptically, "Got any polo shirts, or t-shirts for my client here?" Katie nodded and replied, saying, "Right this way," motioning for them to follow her to a rack of shirts.

As this occurred, a couple of well-dressed folk; one gentegata woman and one Elf, were shopping for clothes next to Tommy and Keith. They didn't look at the two, only muttering to one another about shirt sizes and whatnot. Of course, gentegata being gentegata, they had a sixth sense, and this one sensed something special about the man in back of her. She nudged her elven companion and muttered in Spanish, "I've a hunch--there's a guy behind you. Something special, si-nya? Watch him." The elf replied back, in Spanish as well, "I'm a little busy right now..."

Keith's bad feeling got worse. Noted, that the cashier had suspiciously excused herself upon recognizing him. Noted, that the cashier had ducked into a private area. Noted, the sense that she had gone from quietly doing her job to frantically freaking out within a timespan of approximately one half of one second.

Keith quietly called upon the Force to amplify his hearing. As much as he could. Sure, ordinary conversation suddenly became unbearably loud. But it also meant he could distill a few snatches here and there from what was really going on.

"...that scumbag who hurt..."

"...He wants to buy clothing..."

"...Yeah, bring the girls..."

"...get, like, ready for some heavy work..."

Oh, yes. Colonel Allaire's Bad Feeling had just become an Actionable Bad Feeling. This was probably not something that Tommy could ever hope to understand, but Colonel Allaire knew that fangirls would be here soon. He needed to be out of here soon, or barring that, prepare a defense. Of course, he could not make it look like he suspected anything either.

Perhaps he looked just a tiny bit 'out of it' as he evaluated his options. He followed the store clerk to the selection of various shirts perhaps a half-second late, concentrating on cooling about two hundred cubic inches of air in front of him. (OOC: for the not-so-mathematically inclined, about six inches by six inches by six inches). That would provide a hopefully-not-so-obvious starting point for self-defense activities which, Keith, regrettably, suspected were imminent.

"Hmm. I think I like that one," Keith pointed to one of those racks sticking out of the wall about a foot or so with identical polo shirts, the only difference being the sizes, as if nothing important was going on. "Got anything in XL?"

Perhaps he looked just a tiny bit 'out of it' as he evaluated his options. He followed the store clerk to the selection of various shirts perhaps a half-second late, concentrating on cooling about two hundred cubic inches of air in front of him. (OOC: for the not-so-mathematically inclined, about six inches by six inches by six inches). That would provide a hopefully-not-so-obvious starting point for self-defense activities which, Keith, regrettably, suspected were imminent.

"Hmm. I think I like that one," Keith pointed to one of those racks sticking out of the wall about a foot or so with identical polo shirts, the only difference being the sizes, as if nothing important was going on. "Got anything in XL?"

Katie could feel the sudden chill in the room as she moved in front of him to help him pick out an XL shirt. She looked about, and then walked over to another associate, saying, "Hey, Jill--did the Air Conditioning get changed?" Jill simply shook her head, merely stating, "No, why?" Katie then retorted with, "Cause the room just got cold--wait. No, it must've been me. Nevermind." She then wandered back and picked out the shirt, saying, "Here we go." She then pointed to the changing room, saying, "Changing room's that-a-way."

The gentegata also felt the cold, and reached for her Mini-Uzi. Her sixth sense tingling, she realized it had to be the man... With that, the catgirl next to her put her hand on her shoulder to say, "No." She then opened her coat to reveal a very large assault rifle and tons of other guns. A L2A1 FAL, in 7.62mmx51 NATO more precisely, made in Lithgow, Australia with a 40mm grenade launcher and modifications for his work. With a smile, she whispered in Spanish, "When the time comes, the Bitch and her friends will talk for us."

The catgirl nodded, then walked up to Keith and tapped on his shoulder, saying in a confrontational tone, "Excuse me, sir. I'm just here shopping, like everybody else. Can you not mess with the climate?" She tapped a bulge on her side, where the Mini Uzi was, to drive the point home.

As this occurred...

Somewhere in Gardena

In a basement filled with computers, pinups of various anime heroes that looked too pretty to be men, and a large, almost saintly icon of Daniel Masaki, a group of angry fangirls was assembling an arsenal on an old workbench. Parked out front was a Ford Land Destroyer, a large SUV that could hold plenty of people and gear for the "vengance mission" ahead. As they shined high carbon steel katanas, twirled nunchucks, readied tonfas and all manner of balisongs, they worked with diligence and grim determination. A slight had been committed upon their Daniel-sama. No, bodily injury. And the man would pay.

After the close combat weapons came the firearms. CZ75s, Skorpion and P1 Dillinger Machine Pistols, modeled after John Dillinger's infamous .38 Super M1911A1 modified to fire full auto (but in .45 ACP), plus some Sten Guns built out of tube at a local metal shop, and Cadian Pattern Lasguns. This would be a raid never forgotten.

After being asked what was going on downstairs and assuring their parents that it was a simple trip to the gun range, they packed the guns onto their Ford Land Destroyer, and sped to Beverly Center. Upon parking at the mall, the Oendan pulled out cloth shopping bags and moved the guns into them. Chattering amongst themselves, they argued over where the John Morrison was as they entered the elevator.

"Oh. Sorry." Keith (pretended to) apologize to the disgruntled gentegata, though of course he did not really mean it. He had not been quite as precise with his cryonic abilities as he had meant to be. Oh, sure, he had ended up with a little cube of air cooled to a bit below freezing, but enough of his effort had diffused to cool the store by five or six degrees. Which, unfortunately, was noticeable. However, the gentegata had also suspiciously tapped something that looked suspiciously like a gun in her clothing. This little giveaway had been a mistake. Keith would exploit it soon enough.

He took the polo shirt and proceeded to take it with him to the changing room, presumably to try it on. However, truth be told, it gave him a quieter area from which to 'prepare the battlefield,' so to speak, where fewer people would be around him to complain. That little patch of cold air seemed to go with him, and indeed it had.

Once he had the door closed behind him in the changing room, he concentrated, hard. Proper preparations for what he knew was now inevitable required a degree of concentration comparable to the duel he had fought against Daniel Masaki. The temperature in Keith's little fitting room utterly plummeted, though it would not be noticeable to anyone milling about the store, at least, unless they were psykers. Then again, Keith had taken his apparent love of cold elsewhere. The stalls immediately adjacent to Keith's might have cooled a few degrees, but nothing like the frost quickly forming on the inside walls of Keith's own stall.

Now, about that Mini-Uzi. Oh, yes, Keith had enough military training to recognize, if not the model, the general type of gun from such suspicious bulges. He was, after all, a Colonel in the Evil Woody Thoughts military.

Keith concentrated on manipulating the temperature with the Force. He narrowed the focus of his cooling to about five cubic feet of air directly in front of him, meanwhile also focusing on jamming that Mini-Uzi. Oh, yes. His duel against Daniel Masaki had shown not only Daniel, but him as well, his ability to multi-task. Much like he had heated Daniel's lightsaber to make it unusable, whilst continuing to cool that Circle of Equals. Somewhere in the barrel of that gun, a bullet shell melted, and fused itself to the barrel.

But the nagging feeling in his head told him that such was not the only weapon. He used his Force-senses to scan for metal and explosives. No, he did not have X-ray vision. But he had melted, and forged, metal enough with the Force to use his Force-senses as a magnetometer, even if not a terribly sensitive one that would go off with a mere mini-paper clip. His senses were attuned, but not quite that finely attuned, yet. Moreover, his thermokinetic abilities meant he was also able to recognize explosives quite easily.

And, unfortunately for the catgirls, they were so damn loaded that Keith could have sensed their arms from five hundred feet away, now that one of them had been so damn stupid to advertise the fact that she was armed, and now had Keith looking for more weapons.

Oh, yes. It would be a shame if Keith rendered the grenades inoperable, because the fuses froze and the pin one pulled to activate them suddenly bent over and soldered itself to the grenade's shell. It would be a damn shame if all those guns' firing pins got melted, or their ammo feeding mechanisms fused with a bullet. Yet Keith was careful not to attack the catgirls themselves; he only wanted to disarm them. Oh, yes.

That catgirl had flashed her hand. More importantly, her intentions. Keith's Force senses oozed with warning of imminent danger...

That catgirl had flashed her hand. More importantly, her intentions. Keith's Force senses oozed with warning of imminent danger...

OOC: Technically the other guy is a member of the Elven Freigauneren. However, I'll roll with the idea they're both catgirls, for the lulz. Also, did Keith disable the Bitch too?

IC:


As Tommy went shopping for shirts, wondering what was all this about, the catgirl's sixth sense awakened again; this time, to the fact that this guy, whoever he was, was doing something. Not sure what it was, but it was something suspicious. She walked up to her partner and tapped her shoulder, saying with a whisper, "You sense something too?"

Her other partner nodded, and then said, "Yeah. Temperature's getting colder. That guy is doing something. The fuck did you tap your gun for? You think you're macho or something? Let's get out of here, this is a place of business, si-nya?" As they wandered out of the store, they saw a flock of shoppers walk--no, charge into the store, with bags of goodies.

As a salesperson tried to help them out, they dropped their bags and unsheathed a large number of katanas, causing a mass panic as the shoppers and employees rushed out of the John Morrison and a sales clerk ducked behind the counter and hit the silent alarm before reaching for the shotgun under the counter. The lead fangirl, a woman with dark sunglasses, cried out, raising her katana high "Find the Blasphemer who hurt Daniel-sama! Show him no mercy, sisters! NONE!" The fangirls then began turning the store over, trying to find their target in their frenzy. One or two even made it to the dressing rooms, where they found it very cold.

With that, the gentegatas looked at one another, and said, nodding "Weeaboos." The one with the long trenchcoat pulled out "The Bitch," the other her Mini-Uzi, then ran back into the store and tried to play good samaritan, with extreme predjudice....

....but as the Mini-Uzi catgirl would soon discover, her Mini-uzi was now rendered inoperable. Putting two and two together, it didn't take long to realize that the man who was making the store cold earlier probably had to power to mess up her gun somehow. She then cried out, "Luisa! My fucking piece is gone to shit! Check yours!" The Mini-Uzi Catgirl then dropped the now malfunctioning gun, and then pulled out a small hatchet, charging at a couple of fangirls who decided the interlopers were "blasphemers" too. Luisa, meanwhile, ducked to safety, and checked "The Bitch" to see if she was ready, or had suffered the same fate as her comrade's gun.

OOC: Technically the other guy is a member of the Elven Freigauneren. However, I'll roll with the idea they're both catgirls, for the lulz. Also, did Keith disable the Bitch too?

OOC: Yes. That foreign-language conversation was suspicious enough to tie the catgirl and the Bitch together. Especially when Keith sensed Bitch's guns right next to the catgirl's.

--------------------------------------------

Anyone who made it as far as the door to the dressing room found herself either Force-thrown back across the entire store, or Force-pulled into Keith's waiting hands. Keith dealt with the charging hordes as they came through the door, taking advantage of the fact that it created a bottleneck to deal with his attackers one (or, occasionally, two) at a time. One unfortunate enough for the latter found Keith's waiting hands equipped with Jedi Reflexes, and found her katana-wielding wrists completely snapped and crushed by Keith's iron-clad grip, strong enough to force her katana to clatter to the floor as Keith flung her over his back and into the wall. Keith summoned the foolish fangirl's katana to his hand with the Force. Now, those who charged him could be pulled straight into his waiting blade as well, just like he had Force-pulled psykers into his naginata's sharp tip in Somalia.

Fortunately, only a couple of the fangirls had found him so far.

As for the fangirl behind him, Keith lifted her up with the Force and expelled her from the room, too. His presents were almost ready; the temperature in the fitting room was below Hoth temperature...just a few more seconds...

Another fangirl found Keith and found herself Force-pushed backwards, over many a rack of clothes.

And it was a good thing Keith had prepared somewhat in advance, too. Liquid oxygen started to coalesce in his little dressing room stall, intermixed with tiny shards of dry ice that had frozen seconds earlier. He brought them into one light blue, liquefied glop. Even though the air around him continued to get colder, he was ready...

OOC: Yes. That foreign-language conversation was suspicious enough to tie the catgirl and the Bitch together. Especially when Keith sensed Bitch's guns right next to the catgirl's.

--------------------------------------------

Anyone who made it as far as the door to the dressing room found herself either Force-thrown back across the entire store, or Force-pulled into Keith's waiting hands. Keith dealt with the charging hordes as they came through the door, taking advantage of the fact that it created a bottleneck to deal with his attackers one (or, occasionally, two) at a time. One unfortunate enough for the latter found Keith's waiting hands equipped with Jedi Reflexes, and found her katana-wielding wrists completely snapped and crushed by Keith's iron-clad grip, strong enough to force her katana to clatter to the floor as Keith flung her over his back and into the wall. Keith summoned the foolish fangirl's katana to his hand with the Force. Now, those who charged him could be pulled straight into his waiting blade as well, just like he had Force-pulled psykers into his naginata's sharp tip in Somalia.

Fortunately, only a couple of the fangirls had found him so far.

As for the fangirl behind him, Keith lifted her up with the Force and expelled her from the room, too. His presents were almost ready; the temperature in the fitting room was below Hoth temperature...just a few more seconds...

Another fangirl found Keith and found herself Force-pushed backwards, over many a rack of clothes.

And it was a good thing Keith had prepared somewhat in advance, too. Liquid oxygen started to coalesce in his little dressing room stall, intermixed with tiny shards of dry ice that had frozen seconds earlier. He brought them into one light blue, liquefied glop. Even though the air around him continued to get colder, he was ready...

OOC: Gotcha. Technically, the gun was named "the Bitch;" Australian SAS modded L2A1 FALs in the manner Luisa had it carried as.

IC:

Luisa found her prized Aussie L2A1 inoperable, crying, "Shit!" and throwing it at a nearby ficus. In a strange bit of poetic irony, the L2A1 hit the woman who had mocked Keith before as indigent, knocking her over and taking the wind out of her with its considerable weight. Sighing, she pulled out a couple of large Indian Punching Daggers and injected herself with a blue syringe. It was time for Plasmid power, and she didn't hesitate to throw a gout of fire at the fangirls who tried to support their comrades, crying, "Eat shit!"

The fangirls, meanwhile, heard the screams of their comrades as Keith dealt with them and the catgirls had assaulted them with a furious charge. Those not dead or engaged in combat fell back to their shopping bags in the front of the store, and pulled out the first of their Arsenal. Tossing the Cadian Pattern Lasguns and Sten SMGs to one another, they opened fire on the dressing area where Keith was and on the catgirls, dumping coulds of ammo and laser shot at their erstwhile foes and barely missing their comrades as they ducked behind the counter. The clerk held out his shotgun, and fired back, but before he could react, an Oendan member swung at him with a katana, forcing the clerk to jump and roll behind a pile of returned merchandise, returning fire as he did so and filling an Oendan member's legs full of buckshot.

As this occurred, Tommy had ducked behind some coatracks, and was plinking away at the gunwomen with his Colt Detective Special. He wished he could snatch one of those Shopping Bags; he wanted whatever was in those things right now.

And in the meantime, LAPD was rushing towards the site, with SWAT in tow. And they were packing heat, and one Chin Tai Wong. Mall security, meanwhile, was also ready to fight back, assembling people who had concealed carry permits and their own machine pistols to form a posse of sorts to stop the marauders.

Guns, guns, and more guns. Oh, yeah, and blasters.

Keith whipped out his green lightsaber, and started sizzling bullets, knocking them off-course in the process so they would not strike him, and deflecting lasgun shots with it. The very occasional bullet that did hit him felt more like shrapnel than actually getting shot, because the lightsaber had already pretty much sliced the bullet in half and half-slagged it, absorbing much of its kinetic energy in the process. Unfortunately for Teh Mob, Keith used his lightsaber to redirect the light from the lasguns into targets of his own choosing. The lasgun shots were not something to take lightly, and Keith certainly did not. Those targets pretty much were the goons with the biggest weapons.

Meanwhile, now the whole damn store got cold. The comfort of the combatants was of secondary concern, and Keith's glob of liquefied atmosphere grew a bit bigger. And then, the goons that assaulted them had a nasty surprise coming...

Wind blew from behind Keith. Yes, that's right, wind. Colonel Allaire channeled the air from the dressing room through his liquefied-atmosphere glob, to flash-cool it. He recognized the injection of Plasmid material from Somalia. And the closest such plasmid user received a nice little iceball of liquid oxygen/nitrogen/shards of dry ice mix, nearly as big as a basketball. If not a deadly shot, the extreme cold burns should at least be paralyzing.

But Keith was not yet done. Oh, yes, he still had a substantial glop of liquefied air to play with. Another liqui-ball of half-frozen air raced towards the next Plasmid user as Keith forced more air through his little liquefied funhouse.

And another...

But Keith was not yet done. Oh, yes, he still had a substantial glop of liquefied air to play with. Another liqui-ball of half-frozen air raced towards the next Plasmid user as Keith forced more air through his little liquefied funhouse.

And another...

Luisa stumbled back, becoming vulnerable to a katana attack from one of the fangirls. As she deflected the blade with her good arm and flung her weight against the crazed she-beast, Luisa screamed, "I'M ON YOUR SIDE, PENDEJO!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?" The other catgirl, meanwhile, had successfully dispatched another with her Fairbairn and acquired a working lasgun, putting it to deadly use against the Oendan's rogue agents. The rogues ducked, and realized that whoever this guy was, he was serious. Tommy then cried out to the Oendan, "Ladies, he's done this before! Cease fire now!" They answered with a lasgun shot; he ducked, an overpriced T-shirt taking the hit. Tommy shrugged and returned fire with his Colt. The Shotgun Clerk, meanwhile, fell back to Keith's side, saying, "Hey man, I don't know what you're doing, I'm just glad you're here" before unloading another buckshot shell at the counter-turned-barricade.

It was just then that the Mall Militia had arrived; among them were a few Masaki Oendan members who were disgusted at the idea of violence coming to their little slice of consumer heaven. It wouldn't surprise Tommy that the Mall Militia was armed to the teeth; MAC-10s, Stechkins, M1911A1s, Mini-Uzis, King Cobras, Tokarevs, and Walther PPKs and a few ancient Mauser C/96s were in supply with the Mall Militia, the security guard who roused it crying out, "Give it up, ladies! You've nowhere to run!" One of the sane Oendan members with the Militia said, "Yeah! Daniel-sama wouldn't approve! You're nothing more than degenerate neckbearded Sith!" To that, the leader of the crazed fangirls in the booth said, "Tell that to the man who hurt him!"

With that, security and the Sane Oendan nodded, and the Mall Militia took up standoff positions in front of the store, aiming their assortment of arms at the objective. Keith would no doubt have been astounded at the amount of firepower Dornalian civilians seemed to be able to muster....

The leader of the posse said, "One last time. Give. It. UP!" The catgirls turned and said, "We're SO not with them! We were trying to save the store!" To that, the Mall Militia leader said, "Whatever, get the fuck out!" motioning to the side with a very large railpistol he whipped out of a holster. The catgirls complied, moving to the left, out of fire.
-----------------------------------------
Meanwhile, as the SWAT arrived on the scene next to the fangirls' van, Chin could sense a disturbance in the Force. It was a familiar feeling. Unjust violence being committed in the name of a higher goal. It was those fangirls, and they had come packing. And, a feeling of calm, collected tactical sense--it had to be the Colonel. He laughed and said, "Colonel....damn."

Pulling out his dual pistols, he then told SWAT, "I'm going in myself." The team leader stepped in front of him, going, "Uh uh. No. Standard Procedure says we go in first. People's Acolytes only get involved if there's psykers."

Smiling, Chin said, "There's a Force user involved in there, sir, and knowing his ability to get into trouble, people with Plasmids." Brandishing his Colt Government pistols, he said, "I will take care of it." The SWAT guy sighed, and let him through, saying only, "Fine. Whatever. But any shit goes down, WE move in and clean up. Got it, Hero!?" Chin nodded, saying nothing as he got onto the elevator.

Well, it was somewhat reassuring to Keith that not all of Daniel Masaki's fangirls were completely batshit insane. But the rabid attackers had not quite given up yet, even though they were now pretty much surrounded. Which meant that he still had to defend himself. Unfortunately.

Meanwhile, Luisa received a telepathic apology from Keith, as the latter had sensed her intentions half a second too late. Sorry! It will not happen again! How embarrassing.

To that end, even as he continued to use his lightsaber to deflect the various weapons fire directed at him, Keith released another round of liquefied nitrogen balls, this time directed solely against the Insane Fangirls who wanted his blood. He sighed; it was one thing to do this against gangbangers, but he hated having to paralyze fifteen-year-old girls, for Force sake. Then again, those girls wanted him hospitalized, if not dead...

"You can give up any time now." Keith's stern voice, the same voice that let raw recruits in the Woodian military know they were in for a pwning, made its presence known throughout the store. "I am sure that the Masakis will be MOST displeased."

Meanwhile, Colonel Allaire sensed a rather familiar presence in the Force approaching via the elevator. He hoped that this would end quickly.

Chin got out of the elevator and sauntered towards where all the men with guns were at. He could only laugh. And he thought the Triads back home were bad. These Americans sure liked to use cold steel for the littlest things. As he approached the Mall Militia, he held his badge open, and he spoke to the leader of the posse thusly.

"Chin Tai Wong, Comrade 3rd Class, People's Acolytes. What is the situation?"

"Buncha crazy women started shooting up the John Morrison store. Dunno why or how. All I know is they've got 'bout enough guns to fight a war in North Korea and win. Meanwhile, Mr. Freeze in there's tearing up the place, a clerk's got a scattergun, and some suit's plinking with a sissygun."

Chin nodded and said, "Let me handle this. I will end the bloodshed."

He then used Force Speed to dash towards the Fangirls, who were struggling to regroup and make a breakout after their ringleader was tagged with Keith's icebolt, turning her into an icicle. He plowed into one, sending her flying back, before tripping up another, shooting out another's gun from her hand, and pointing his guns at the rest, sliding to a stop on the floor. A Mexican Standoff then ensued, with Chin aiming his pistols at the Rogues, the Rogue Oendan aiming their Lasguns and Stens at Chin, and the Mall Militia aiming at the Rogue Oendan.

He then said calmly, "End this foolishness. Honor will only get you killed; you face prison time as it is."

The second in command, with a Sten, cocked it, saying, "I would die for Daniel-sama."

Chin then replied, "Tell me, then. Would you kill all these innocents, disturb the public order, and trample on a man's dignity all for your idol?" He grew stern as he continued, "I knew too many friends in my hometown who went on that path. They pledged loyalty to their Triad bosses. While I went clean, they imitated their Bosses, treated them like gods, did irrational and disgusting things for them. And all they got in the end was death."

Another jabbed a Lasgun barrel into Chin's forehead, and said, "You dare compare Daniel-sama with a gangster!?"

Chin merely replied, "I only wish to instruct you in the ways obsessive devotion and irrational loyalty can lead to ruin. I am sorry if this causes offense, but I do not intend to let you cause any more hurt. Now stop this and surrender."

The posse leader said, "Do what he says, girls."

Chin sternly rebuked the man, saying, "I am in control here. Quiet."

Turning back to the fangirls, Chin said, "You see what your opponent can do. You see what I can do. You see no one else wants your crusade. LAPD SWAT is coming, and if you do not surrender now, they will kill you."

He finished, gritting his teeth, "END. THIS."

The fangirls looked about, but refused to budge. Chin then Forcemessaged Keith, saying, "Keith, give them an incentive, if you will."

Keith waited while Chin more or less told the rabid fangirls to shut up and surrender, before giving him a polite nod. "Why, hello there." Of course, he still had to defend against random weapons fire, but with his lightsaber, that was not a problem.

Even Chin, it would seem, could not persuade the rabid fangirls to give themselves up. Colonel Allaire had a huge, liquefied glop of liquefied nitrogen in front of him, and, unfortunately, it did not look like he was done with it yet.

The glop of liquefied air separated before the fangirls' eyes, and Keith thought for a second about how to go about this without outright killing yet another deluded teenage girl. He, too, had had quite enough. He set aside one of the liquid-air blobs. The other fired itself at the second-in-command, the fangirl who had mouthed off at Chin. The paralyzing iceball seemed to split into four streaks right before it hit--one each for the shoulders, one each for the thighs. Keith wanted to completely immobilize her, without quite killing her. A pity that idol worship could warp such young minds into a near-Sithlike fanaticism.

"I came here to buy clothes, as I had not packed, and get assaulted by a rabid mob instead. You are not martyrs for Daniel Masaki, you are people who are now going to spend a goodly part of your lives incarcerated, and for what? Master Daniel's first statement when he recovers is going to be something along the lines of, 'I never knew ye.' Now, pray tell, give yourselves up before you get life for resisting arrest and using deadly force against law enforcement!"

"I came here to buy clothes, as I had not packed, and get assaulted by a rabid mob instead. You are not martyrs for Daniel Masaki, you are people who are now going to spend a goodly part of your lives incarcerated, and for what? Master Daniel's first statement when he recovers is going to be something along the lines of, 'I never knew ye.' Now, pray tell, give yourselves up before you get life for resisting arrest and using deadly force against law enforcement!"

Chin smiled; Keith knew how to get the words out and back them up to drive home the point. Chin did make sure to use the Force to knock the Sten that hit the floor to a part of the mall where no one would get hurt though, when it fell on the ground--it began sputtering ammo willy-nilly, as Stens tended to do when dropped.

He then turned to the fangirls and said loudly and sternly, so Keith could hear, "Oh, I think at this point, let's see....attempted murder, criminial negligence with a firearm, conspiracy all sorts of crimes added on....I do believe that at San Quentin, they have facilities for the death penalty. For all the crimes you've committed, a harsh judge might be inclined to kill you."

Sensing the presence of the lawyer, Chin yelled, "Right!?"

Tommy then crept from behind a coat rack, and said, "Yeah! What he said!" before dusting himself off and shaking his head, muttering, "What a Goddamn world."

The second in command then cried, "Alright! Jesus....we give up". The others soon followed by removing their magazines, and putting their weapons in safe and then onto the floor, before holding up their hands. Chin then got up, and called on his communicator, "You can come in, Lieutenant. The crisis is over."

With that, a flood of LAPD stormed the building, grabbing the fangirls, and cuffing them, reading their rights and taking their precious guns. Tommy then sighed and said to Keith, "Colonel, you and your buddy are officially fucking badass. But also fucking insane."

Keith gave his lawyer a wan smile. "I just hope there are not any prosecutors who get any ideas that I used 'excessive force' in defense. Sorry about the mess." He shook his head as he watched the LAPD SWAT arrest the fangirls. Mostly out of pity, for he knew they had completely thrown their lives away, blinded by an extremely misguided hero-worship.

Keith looked around and saw the store clerk hanging around him. Probably because Keith offered him a form of defense against the rabid fangirls, as he had helped to neutralize them. "I will be back in a moment," Keith told his clerk. "I do hope you have insurance against civil disturbances like this?"

Keith disappeared into the dressing room to gather his belongings, but not before letting his surviving blob of liquid air to boil and become normal atmosphere again. That was no longer needed. What was needed were Keith's Armani bag and the clothing he had been about to try on. After quickly verifying that it fit, he brought the polo shirt back with him to the cash register.

"I came here to get some decent clothing as my uniform had had a rough couple of days," Keith sighed to the clerk as he got out his wallet to pay for his purchase. "I am terribly sorry."

"I came here to get some decent clothing as my uniform had had a rough couple of days," Keith sighed to the clerk as he got out his wallet to pay for his purchase. "I am terribly sorry."

The clerk, tired and somewhat numbed by the whole experience, simply rang up the items and said, "Well.....I'm more concerned about what my manager's gonna think. We have insurance, but jeez...." He was too busy trying to make sense of the mess; Keith would detect a torrent of thoughts, none angry at Keith, all just wondering what the hell was going on, and whether that came out of his pay. With a robotlike motion, he unloaded the shotgun, put it in safe, and restored it to its rightful place under the counter, before he then said, "That'll be $55."

As he said this, Tommy then replied to Keith's statement, "Well, I think you're fine." Looking at the now smoking Detective Special, he said with a sarcastic grin, "Haven't shot it in a bit. I'll need to clean it tonight."

In the meantime, the Mall militia dispersed, as the SWAT took the fangirls away. Chin then walked up to Keith, commenting simply with the Dornalian smile, "Colonel, I am surprised by how much trouble you seem to find yourself. Were you born under a bad sign?"

"There was not much else you could have done," Keith reassured the very distraught clerk as he paid for the goods. "I am sure the manager will see that when he looks at the security tapes. If he gives you grief about it, you will probably be happier with another job anyway."

Keith flashed Tommy a grin before shrugging at Chin's comment. "Meh. I have never caused this kind of trouble before...maybe I need to take this stuff back to the hotel room and get out of this Wayne Gretsky jersey that would make any Woodian tourist want to take a picture of me. Here, it seems to mean that I am indigent or something." Keith sighed. "Correct one mistake, end up blowing up the place, I guess..."

"There was not much else you could have done," Keith reassured the very distraught clerk as he paid for the goods. "I am sure the manager will see that when he looks at the security tapes. If he gives you grief about it, you will probably be happier with another job anyway."

Keith flashed Tommy a grin before shrugging at Chin's comment. "Meh. I have never caused this kind of trouble before...maybe I need to take this stuff back to the hotel room and get out of this Wayne Gretsky jersey that would make any Woodian tourist want to take a picture of me. Here, it seems to mean that I am indigent or something." Keith sighed. "Correct one mistake, end up blowing up the place, I guess..."

Chin put his hand on Keith's shoulder, and said with a reassuring tone, "Why should you care what it makes you look like? Besides, I don't think it makes you look poor. It just shows you support Wayne Gretzky and the Los Angeles Kings. Besides, would they really want to threaten a man like you? You're easily bigger than most of these yuppies, and you probably could finish a fight with them if they insist on making trouble. Relax." Chin, if Keith could sense it, would seem unusually generous right now.

Tommy then said, frantically, "Guys, we got trouble."

At that moment, a horde of newsmen and Detective Mulroney--with two large LAPD officers--came into the store. Mulroney walked right up to Keith, and said, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Colonel! I can't leave you alone for five minutes. Come with me, you, your pet lawyer and your Chinese friend have some explaining to do while CSI cases the place." Tommy could see the LAPD interviewing witnesses outside, as newsmen frantically hounded Mulroney, the Colonel, Chin, and Tommy and began reporting on events. Mulroney could be heard saying to the newsmen, "Back off!" as he led the party out of the ruins of the store into the waiting arms of a group of LAPD and an overeager newsman who sneaked from the crowd. Thrusting a mike into Keith's face, he then said, "Chess Headman, Chess Headman Report, NDBC News. Can you tell us what happened back there?"

"Oh, this is just great." Colonel Allaire sighed. First the Attack of the Fangirls, now the Attack of the Media/LAPD Conspiracy. And then, Keith had the mike shoved in his face...

"First I get attacked by angry hordes of Masaki dittoheads. I really do not want to add 'Riot between Media and LAPD' to the headlines, Mr. Headmann. Perhaps it can wait until I have had my little chat with LAPD?" Keith went with Detective Mulroney, taking his pet lawyer and that Chinese guy along with him...

"Oh, this is just great." Colonel Allaire sighed. First the Attack of the Fangirls, now the Attack of the Media/LAPD Conspiracy. And then, Keith had the mike shoved in his face...

"First I get attacked by angry hordes of Masaki dittoheads. I really do not want to add 'Riot between Media and LAPD' to the headlines, Mr. Headmann. Perhaps it can wait until I have had my little chat with LAPD?" Keith went with Detective Mulroney, taking his pet lawyer and that Chinese guy along with him...

Speeding him into a waiting police auto, Keith and the rest of the party were sped downtown to Police HQ, as Chess was left hanging. He then turned to his cameraman, and motioned for him to kill the cameras. Having that accomplished, Chess then replied, "Fred, I want footage of the crime scene with Armand and Joe. Fight those guys from PNN and Amerikanski Pravda if you have to. Get me some transport to LAPD Headquarters. I want to get there before Alberta Takanawa from People's News Net gets there. NOW! I WILL NOT BE SCOOPED!"

With that, the crew ran in an almost militaristic fashion, boarding the Land Destroyer which served as their gear van with their intrepid leader, storming down the roads of Los Angeles towards LAPD HQ. Meanwhile, the man they left behind worked with two other cameramen, jostling and shoving the opposing news agencies as they got footage of everything from the unfortunate dead to the scared clerk to the paralyzed woman on the ground, who was being attended to by EMTs.

When Keith and Company were sped to LAPD HQ, they were processed duly and then thrown into an interrogation room, where Mulroney walked right in with another People's Acolyte. Locking the door, Mulroney said, "Okay, gentleman. This is Sensei Kuramitsu from the Temple of Glendale. He will ensure you're not lying. Now, let's begin."

Sitting down, he then said, "Okay, Colonel, I want the skinny on what happened. Why the hell did you and a buncha teenagers decide to play Shootout at the OK Corral in the John Morrison?"

Keith looked at his highly fidgety lawyer, who was oozing nervousness that the Acolyte no doubt sensed, then at the Acolyte. Wishing he had found a Force-sensitive lawyer in the Holo-ads who knew how to shield his thoughts from prying Acolytes, Keith gave the Acolyte a cold, hard stare before opening his mouth.

"I went there to buy clothes, like a normal person. One of the clerks recognized me, from what I do not know, and proceeded to excuse herself and call up all of her mob friends. Minutes later, a horde of Daniel Masaki worshipers armed with katanas and shopping bags full of guns and grenades arrived, wishing for nothing more than to chop off my head. What was I supposed to do, let them kill me and parade my carcass around the streets of Los Angeles?"

Colonel Allaire really wasn't in the mood for this shit again...

Keith looked at his highly fidgety lawyer, who was oozing nervousness that the Acolyte no doubt sensed, then at the Acolyte. Wishing he had found a Force-sensitive lawyer in the Holo-ads who knew how to shield his thoughts from prying Acolytes, Keith gave the Acolyte a cold, hard stare before opening his mouth.

"I went there to buy clothes, like a normal person. One of the clerks recognized me, from what I do not know, and proceeded to excuse herself and call up all of her mob friends. Minutes later, a horde of Daniel Masaki worshipers armed with katanas and shopping bags full of guns and grenades arrived, wishing for nothing more than to chop off my head. What was I supposed to do, let them kill me and parade my carcass around the streets of Los Angeles?"

Colonel Allaire really wasn't in the mood for this shit again...

Detective Mulroney glared at Keith, saying, "Colonel, you've got a lot of guts using that tone in here. As it is, I was going to go home and enjoy a nice dinner with the wife and kids. Hell, my kid got an A on his science project. I don't want to be here. So save the TV show attitude for when you get home; this is MY city."

Turning to the Acolyte, the Sensei scribbled on a pad and showed it to Mulroney, keeping it out of sight and thoughts shielded from Keith, "It's hard to tell. This guy's got strong mental conditioning and defenses; he's got a lot of fortitude. However, he doesn't seem to be lying. I would have sensed that much."

Mulroney turned to Tommy and said, "What about you, fatso? What the hell happened?"

Tommy then said, crossing his arms and frowning, "Very funny, Detective. I was helping my client here acquire new clothing, when just as he said, the associate recognized him and darted to the back. Several minutes later, as she returned and aided us with our goods and after a catgirl threatened us with a Mini-Uzi, a bunch of crazed psychos charged into the shop, upturning everything and gunning for my client. It was fortunate he could demonstrate a sufficent level of self-defense skill, as when he defended himself, they pulled out Sten Guns and Lasguns from shopping bags and opened fire on his position.

In the meantime, I had darted behind a rack of shirts, and attempted to defend myself with a Colt Detective Special. I even tried to get them to surrender, but they shot at me. It got to the point where mall security roused a posse, you boys and Mr. Chin here came in a little afterwards, and before all that the clerk had mustered the store's shotgun and attempted to shoot back before he was ejected from the counter. Nevermind the catgirls that got into melee. The fangirls barricaded themselves there and attempted a breakout when Mr. Chin came. Then, the situation was solved. That's all that occurred."

Mulroney turned to the Acolyte, and scribbled again on his notepad. "Yeah, he's good." Turning to Tommy, he then said, "Well, okay. If it is as you have said, where the hell is the merchandise? Assuming you're going to a shop to buy from it and not rob it or blow it up, you must have something. And also, what the hell did these Catgirls look like? I don't remember them being there."

Chin replied, "Neither do I...."

With that, Tommy turned to Keith and said, "Colonel, show the good man what you bought. You did bring it?"

"Oh, yes." Colonel Allaire produced two shopping bags, one from the Armani store and one from the store now being investigated as a crime scene. Fortunately he had thought to bring that along, but more because he did not want some random police officer taking it as evidence and conveniently 'losing' it. i.e. getting sticky fingers. "Like I said, I was there to get some clothing. It is not like I brought a suitcase here with me." Though Keith had not apologized to Detective Mulroney for his brusque tone, he had allowed his voice to become a little bit more...neutral.

As for the Acolyte, Keith really did not appreciate him trying to rummage around his mind. After having been mindraped by a Dark Lord of the Sith a little more than a year ago, and having his mind reconstructed by Jedi healers, he did not like anyone trying to pry into his thoughts, whether Light or Dark Side. The Acolyte received a curt warning not to screw around with Keith's mind again.

Do not fucking mess with my mind, after having it destroyed in the civil war and fucking rebuilt I like to keep other people the hell out of it, thank you. If you MUST pry around, then put me under a fucking ysalmari field and give me a traditional lie detector test.

Moreover, the Acolyte would KNOW that Keith wasn't kidding when Keith started scanning his OWN mind for even the slightest hint of alteration.

Moreover, the Acolyte would KNOW that Keith wasn't kidding when Keith started scanning his OWN mind for even the slightest hint of alteration.

The Acolyte winced; this guy was good. Chin could sense the back-and-forth in the room; it wasn't hard to pick up on Keith's displeasure at being scanned mentally for lie detection. The Acolyte then said to Mulroney with his pad, "Better bring in a bioscanner and some ysalamiri. Seems like he will refuse to cooperate if I keep scanning his mind." Mulroney only replied, "Bullshit. I'm not calling LA Zoo for some damn lizards." The Acolyte glared, and Mulroney replied then, "Fine. You call LA Zoo for some ysalamiri."

As the Acolyte left the room, Mulroney said to Keith, "Question still stands, tough guy. What did these catgirls look like?"

"Why, you interested in dating them?" Keith looked up at Detective Mulroney. "Seriously though. Catgirl Number One is about five-foot-four, carried a Mini-Uzi, wore a leather jacket and jeans, with a striped Russian-sailor style shirt. Sandy blonde hair, faint scar along her left cheek. Catgirl Number Two, about five-foot-nine, wore a trenchcoat with lots of guns stuffed inside, sunglasses, slacks and combat boots. Led Zeppelin shirt under that trenchcoat. Said Catgirl Number Two has a small Cross of Lorraine tattooed on her left hand, and yes, I have French ancestors so if you mispronounce that, I will regrettably have to smack you one. You happy?"

Colonel Allaire normally would not have divulged the last part. But all of this red tape was making him...slightly irritable.

"Why, you interested in dating them?" Keith looked up at Detective Mulroney. "Seriously though. Catgirl Number One is about five-foot-four, carried a Mini-Uzi, wore a leather jacket and jeans, with a striped Russian-sailor style shirt. Sandy blonde hair, faint scar along her left cheek. Catgirl Number Two, about five-foot-nine, wore a trenchcoat with lots of guns stuffed inside, sunglasses, slacks and combat boots. Led Zeppelin shirt under that trenchcoat. Said Catgirl Number Two has a small Cross of Lorraine tattooed on her left hand, and yes, I have French ancestors so if you mispronounce that, I will regrettably have to smack you one. You happy?"

Colonel Allaire normally would not have divulged the last part. But all of this red tape was making him...slightly irritable.

Mulroney chuckled at the attempted threat. Pulling up his sleeve, he revealed a shamrock tattoo, and said with a wry grin, "Lucky for me, I'm Scotch-Irish. I could hold my own." Pulling it down and standing back up, he then coughed and said, "Ethnic jokes aside...." He then paced around and delivered his judgment, "That Cross of Lorraine indicates your catgirl friend is some kinda bigtime killer in the underground. Hmm..." Scribbling down Keith's words onto Kuramitsu's notepad, which he snatched rather brusquely before handing it back, he then said, "Well find them and call them in for questioning."

He then put his pen in his pocket and said, "In the meantime, in the absence of what CSI and other witnesses can rustle up, I'm gonna let you boys go. But do not try my paitence. I want to be able to make the wife happy tonight, if you know what I mean." He then opened the door and said, "Don't let me see you around here again."

Outside, the TV crews had gotten there, and were jostling for a good view of the front of Police HQ. News media were reporting on the story from Beverly Center, about:

"...Police are reporting the grisly aftermath of a shootout here at Beverly Center, Hal. It was here at the John Morrison store at approximately 4:35 PM Pacific Time that witnesses say a group of women aged 15-23 stormed the store, attacking with katanas and later Cadian Pattern Lasguns. A local man, Thomas Park, James Eckert, a Clerk at the Scene, and Colonel Keith Allaire, a man from Evil Woody Thoughts, engaged the women, along with two unidentified gentegatas now wanted for questioning by police. 15 minutes into the shootout, Chin Tai Wong, a People's Acolyte, helped bring an end to the shootout when he helped the Colonel to talk down the women and force a peaceful resolution. Police are holding the women on bail, and refuse to disclose their names."

This was reported, along with footage of the two frozen dead girls, defiant shouts etched permanently into their faces as they clutched to Stens and Lasguns that wouldn't serve anyone anymore. Naturally, people called to complain.

As this occurred, Keith was soon talked about on Acolyte message boards and *Chans in New Dornalia. And before long, they had their own following....admittedly, it was made up more of Ultimate Fighter fans and fratboys who loved their macho takedown of the "weeaboos." Chin, for his role, also had his own 15 minutes of fame too, enough to maybe start that school he wanted.

Colonel Allaire nodded. "I will try not to cause any more problems. Though I cannot exactly help it if the whole damn city wants to attack me, either."

More importantly, he sensed the ravenous media outside. Media so ravenous that they practically wanted to give him enemas with microphones. He looked at poor, fidgety Tommy, mentally noting that the ysalmari from the zoo hadn't arrived yet. "So...media trolls or teleport?" he asked Tommy, picking up his two shopping bags from the mall.

Colonel Allaire nodded. "I will try not to cause any more problems. Though I cannot exactly help it if the whole damn city wants to attack me, either."

More importantly, he sensed the ravenous media outside. Media so ravenous that they practically wanted to give him enemas with microphones. He looked at poor, fidgety Tommy, mentally noting that the ysalmari from the zoo hadn't arrived yet. "So...media trolls or teleport?" he asked Tommy, picking up his two shopping bags from the mall.

Before Tommy could say anything, Chin walked out of the room, and motioned for the crew to follow.

Walking out towards the crowds of newsmen, they rushed at him with pens in hand, papers in the other, and tons of questions of varying degrees of relevance. As this occurred, Chin waved his hand, and shouted, "Attention please!" The newsmen stopped, and suddenly went docile. Looking at one another, they figured this guy had something important to say.

Chin then smiled and folded his arms, saying, "I know you gentlemen have a lot of questions. But, I am afraid it is too early to tell what will occur. So please, wait for the LAPD. They will tell you everything. Thank you." Mysteriously, the newsmen ate it up. Chin thought to himself, "Thank you, mind trick." He then Forcemessaged Keith, "I'll hail a cab. Get your stuff and get out, you have five minutes before the crowd gets rowdy again. You owe me."

And as he said, he went and hailed a cab, flagging down a man. Recognizing him as Cantonese, they began a conversation as he waited....

"Chin has ideas. We need to take advantage of them, before we lose the opportunity." Colonel Allaire left no room for argument. Poor Tommy was more or less dragged along for the ride as the Colonel quite literally tugged him along. Finding Chin's whereabouts through the Force, Colonel Allaire weaved through the police station's back hallways like he had worked there for years, thus going around the media mobbing the front entrance. "There is our getaway...er, I mean cab," Keith told Tommy, yanking him along. "The effects of Chin's mind trick upon the media will not last long."

"Chin has ideas. We need to take advantage of them, before we lose the opportunity." Colonel Allaire left no room for argument. Poor Tommy was more or less dragged along for the ride as the Colonel quite literally tugged him along. Finding Chin's whereabouts through the Force, Colonel Allaire weaved through the police station's back hallways like he had worked there for years, thus going around the media mobbing the front entrance. "There is our getaway...er, I mean cab," Keith told Tommy, yanking him along. "The effects of Chin's mind trick upon the media will not last long."

Tommy was too bewildered by the whole experience to figure out what was going on. As he was dragged to the cab, he muttered to himself, "If only my grandma could see me today....she'd wonder what the hell her son was doing with these guys. Good Lord, what a world!" He let out a sarcastic laugh as Keith and Tommy rendezvoused with Chin, who opened the doors and let them in, Chin taking shotgun.

The cab driving off, it sped away from the scene, just as the news media were wondering what the hell just happened. Chin then smiled and said, "You have to appreciate the wonder of the Jedi Mind Trick." Tommy then said, looking back at the crowd, "I can see that, Mr. Chin. You saved our asses....I'd rather go for the teleport though. Who's gonna pay for the fare?"

Chin then heard his stomach grumble, and he said, "More importantly, where to eat?" Tommy then said, "Well, I suppose it is around dinnertime. I've got cash. YOU have to pay for the fare." At that point, Chin held his hands up and said, "No problem. I will pay the taxi fare, I hired it anywho. Do you know a place?"

Tommy then turned to the driver and said, "Driver! How much to go to Koreatown?" The man said, thinking for a moment, "It will cost extra. Not in usual route." Chin then spoke to him in Cantonese, saying as he handed the driver a wad of bills, "My brother, you will have to excuse the gwei lo and his Korean friend. They did not know Koreatown was not in your usual route. Please take us there, just this once. Here is extra compensation for your troubles, particularly in the field of fuel and expense."

The driver then sighed and said, "Alrighty. For this much, no problem." The driver then asked, "Where in Koreatown?"

Tommy then replied, "145 Wilshire. Look for the Admiral Yi Bar and Grill." Nodding, the driver then sped off into the vagaries of LA Traffic, darting and weaving through the city and its decidedly car-heavy streets. Once they got there, Chin thanked the man with a tip and then looked at the restaurant. Tommy smiled and said, "Admiral Yi Bar and Grill. I know the guy who runs this place. I use it to schmooze with clients and other lawyers during the discovery phase."

He then opened the door and said, "After you guys."

Keith stayed quiet for nearly the entire length of the taxi ride, thinking to himself about how primitive the transportation infrastructure was here for such a large city. He was a bit more accustomed to speeders, and about five "highways" running above each other, demarcated by traffic control lights mounted on buildings.

Then again, Great Woody City crammed sixty million people into about as much space as the combined land area of Burbank, Glendale, West Hollywood, and Beverly Hills. Ugh. Urban sprawl, and they cannot even upgrade to low-altitude air traffic highways. One of the things that Keith was beginning to not like about Los Angeles. Had this been Great Woody City, the party would have arrived at the restaurant about twenty minutes ago.

"Why the hell do repulsorlift vehicles not exist here?" Keith muttered as the party stepped out to enter the restaurant. Unfortunately, Keith had not yet tried Korean food, as Woodian culinary tastes centered more on European/Russian/Central Asian, but that was about to change...

"Why the hell do repulsorlift vehicles not exist here?" Keith muttered as the party stepped out to enter the restaurant. Unfortunately, Keith had not yet tried Korean food, as Woodian culinary tastes centered more on European/Russian/Central Asian, but that was about to change...

Tommy replied to Keith's rant as they entered the restaurant, "Put it down to goddamn Red Tape. Speeders are pricey, and the Great City of Los Angeles doesn't want to raise the speed limit for them. Something about safety and how people would keep speeding and bumping into kids. Damn politicos." Chin muttered, "Odd. In Hong Kong, the city fathers there allowed speeders. Not that it matters, everybody uses the Mass Transit Railway. Subway system."

A waitress greeted them, and Tommy secured them a seat next to a TV. The table itself had several grills on it. A tall man in a chef's outfit was making his rounds, and when he spotted them, he grew estatic. Like an old friend, he said, "Hey, Tommy! Wassup, brother!?" Highfiving one another as Tommy lept up, Tommy replied, "Nothing much, Bob. Just taking a client out to eat. And his friend Mr. Chin over here." Bob then said to Chin, "Ni hao!" With a chuckle, he said, "Hell, that's the only Chinese I know." Turning to Tommy again, he said, "Anyway, what can I do for ya, Tommy?"

Tommy then said, with a smile, "The usual, Bob, for three. And OB Beers all around. You know the drill, bro." Bob nodded, did a dap handshake with Tommy, and then did a chant, followed by "USC! USC!" Then, Bob went into the back to get the gear. Tommy then sat down and said, "Old friend from USC Law. He dropped out to run the restaurant. It was his dad's. Anywho, here's how you do this. See those grills on the table? You're gonna get portions of raw, marinated meat. Using chopsticks and skewers, you're gonna grill them on those grills--" A waitress then brought out the OB Beer and prepped the grills, before leaving--"to perfection, and then you eat them with tons of side dishes. Real social like. Gets clients to open up."

KTLA 5 came on, and then, the news.

"This is KTLA 5, news. Today, police have no word yet on what exactly happened at the shootout at Beverly Center. We take you live to LAPD HQ."

Sure enough, Mulroney was answering people's questions, saying, "Gentlemen, ladies! The suspects are being held in custody at this moment. We are currently seeking to charge them with conspiracy, attempted murder, criminal negligence with a firearm and mayhem, plus resisting arrest."

"What about one Keith Allaire!? What is his status?"

"Colonel Allaire has been released; we've got no reason to hold him and his little buddies. We also brought in two women, Luisa Maria-Chibi and Justine Jacinta-chibi for questioning."

"What of reports Colonel Allaire was involved in an Altercation with Daniel Masaki that resulted in injury?"

"The Colonel was involved in said fight, yes. But it was a Jedi Duel protected by our laws."

"What abo--"

"I'm sorry, but at this moment I can't tell you anything more about the Colonel. CSI hasn't composed their report yet, and we haven't completely debriefed all witnesses and suspects. Thank you. Come back when we call you."

As this occurred, pictures of the involved parties and video from the John Morrison's security cameras flashed across the screen. And it was then people began turning their heads at Tommy's table. Some clapped. Others glared at Keith. And many more were just astonished. This guy had fought Daniel Masaki? And won? And later tussled with possibly legions of angry fangirls? Holy shit!

One woman walked up to Keith and said, "Are you the man from that video?"

Keith Allaire kept things real simple at first, skewering several pieces of some kind of marinated beef and setting it on the grill. He would deal with the chopsticks later; fortunately he had eaten sushi enough to know what to do with them. And he looked up to watch the news, and found himself the lead story. An odd feeling, it was, to watch himself flash-freezing two tween girls on the local news, their faces contorted with pain in the second before their heart and lungs froze. Their guns and katanas seemed to drop to the floor in slow motion in the recording.

And the Colonel sensed a damn wide variety of emotions explode in other diners' thoughts. Some trying (thus far, failing) to work up the courage of asking him for his autograph, some so shocked they would not know what to do even if they were told to find the restroom, some reacting more or less like angry, savage fangirls inside, and lots and lots of fear. Fear aplenty, sprinkled in with a fair dose of pure amazement. With all the raw emotion in the room, Colonel Allaire was surprised that no one dropped their food straight out of their mouth as their jaw dropped.

For a few seconds, the sound of the news report and the sound of the meat grilling were the only two sounds to be heard in the restaurant that didn't come from the kitchen.

That silence was interrupted by a woman. Keith sensed she was a mother, afraid not so much for herself, but for her children. Of course the last thing Keith wanted to do was wantonly kill children, but she didn't know that. He turned around and let her ask her question.

"Yes, ma'am." Keith replied quietly and calmly, making just enough eye contact to convey respect and that he was listening, but not too much eye contact that would be intimidating. "I am he."

"Yes, ma'am." Keith replied quietly and calmly, making just enough eye contact to convey respect and that he was listening, but not too much eye contact that would be intimidating. "I am he."

The woman said, shaking her head and reacting in a disgusted, shocked manner to the situation, "I don't know how you can do it. A Jedi Duel is fine, but you hurt teenagers and young women! I know one of their mothers, jackass! She has to pay far out the ass for precious Cryobacta at some damn Army hospital in Germany because you decided to turn her into a fucking meat popsicle!"

Chin put down his share of the food. He glared at the woman, and said, "Are you aware of the concept of self-defense?"

The woman said, turning her rage onto Chin, "Fuck you. Self-defense doesn't mean disablement!" To that, one of the patrons who was on Keith's side, an off-duty cop, said, "Lady, if I was in his situation, I'd do the same damn thing. People were shooting at him. The hell was he supposed to do?" To that, the woman said, "I dunno, just trip them up, or use Force Throw, or whatever you magicians do! You didn't have to fucking freeze them!"

Keith would be able to sense this was about to turn into a shouting match, and Bob said to himself, "The fuck just happened to my restaurant?"

Keith shook his head. He sensed where this was going, all right. Yet his voice remained the calmest in the room by far. "I attempted to Force-throw them away, but they simply got up and resumed shooting. And may I point out that New Dornalia has universal healthcare? Sure, cryobacta is specialized, but the coinsurance for it is what...two or three thousand credits? I can cover that..."

He flashed Bob a neutral look. "Sorry about the mess," he apologized for inciting the riot that was about to commence by his mere presence, tossing him a coin in the process.

Keith shook his head. He sensed where this was going, all right. Yet his voice remained the calmest in the room by far. "I attempted to Force-throw them away, but they simply got up and resumed shooting. And may I point out that New Dornalia has universal healthcare? Sure, cryobacta is specialized, but the coinsurance for it is what...two or three thousand credits? I can cover that..."

He flashed Bob a neutral look. "Sorry about the mess," he apologized for inciting the riot that was about to commence by his mere presence, tossing him a coin in the process.

The woman then smiled, saying, "Glad you can see the value of compensation" in a tone that struck Tommy and Chin as being somewhat proud. Tommy shook his head when the woman spoke; he knew plenty of clients and their familes who had a nasty habit of being sore winners. The only thing keeping him from sighing was that he was used to it all. The woman then wrote down the address of the aggrieved woman, and said, "I'll tell her this, and check to make sure you followed through" before walking off. The off-duty cop then asked Keith, "Say Colonel. Could I have a picture with ya?"

As this occurred, Bob caught the coin and looked at it.....

Oh, yes, the culture of compensation. Colonel Allaire could sense Tommy's exasperation over the argument that was not quite to be, and he, too, thought this woman was a Grade A Bitch. But at least he had averted yet another fight. He had had quite enough of those in the past couple of days, and he was simply relieved that the shouting match did not degenerate into a brawl that would send yet more people to the hospital. Or, more likely considering New Dornalia's concealed carry laws, send yet more people to the morgue. Colonel Allaire took the card upon which the woman from hell had written, quickly glancing at it before turning to respond to the off-duty cop.

Keith walked over to said cop, and shook his hand, complete with full, heavy handshake. "Sure. I do not mind, at least not until the media starts firing microphones at me. Which has yet to happen. So snap away." Yes, it was possible for one who had done so much pwning recently to be somewhat friendly. That, and there was a kind of unspoken bond between soldiers and cops...

As this occurred, Bob caught the coin and looked at it.....

Today was Bob's lucky day. It was a ten-credit Woodian piece, and one that Colonel Allaire had received as change in Evil Woody Thoughts commissary about a month ago. But the Colonel had just paid attention to it being a ten-credit piece.

When Bob looked at the coin's tails side, he saw an engraving of rubble, with buildings rising faintly in the background, more specifically, rubble of a small nuclear blast in the former capital of Evil Woody Thoughts. The year stamped on the coin was 2002, along with the inscription "NEVER FORGET." Bob was looking at a coin struck the year the Christofascist Wars (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9853971&postcount=5) ended, a coin nearly as old as Jedi Master Jacob Whitfield himself, widely regarded as the Father of Evil Woody Thoughts for his work during his terms as Prime Minister. Keith had unwittingly flipped Bob a coin that would have been worth a LOT of money to a collector...

Oh, yes, the culture of compensation. Colonel Allaire could sense Tommy's exasperation over the argument that was not quite to be, and he, too, thought this woman was a Grade A Bitch. But at least he had averted yet another fight. He had had quite enough of those in the past couple of days, and he was simply relieved that the shouting match did not degenerate into a brawl that would send yet more people to the hospital. Or, more likely considering New Dornalia's concealed carry laws, send yet more people to the morgue. Colonel Allaire took the card upon which the woman from hell had written, quickly glancing at it before turning to respond to the off-duty cop.

Keith walked over to said cop, and shook his hand, complete with full, heavy handshake. "Sure. I do not mind, at least not until the media starts firing microphones at me. Which has yet to happen. So snap away." Yes, it was possible for one who had done so much pwning recently to be somewhat friendly. That, and there was a kind of unspoken bond between soldiers and cops...

The cop then stood next to Keith, and then pulled out a small camera next to him, stablizing it somewhat. Beaming, he then flashed a peace sign and let out a "Fuck Yeah!" before snapping a picture from the camera. The thing beeped, and then the flash went off. The cop then looked at the resulting pic, and said, "Not bad. Thanks, man." The cop then went back to his seat after aggressively shaking Keith's hand.

Tommy then smiled and said to Chin, jokingly, "Welcome to Los Angeles. Where new stars are made overnight."

Keith had unwittingly flipped Bob a coin that would have been worth a LOT of money to a collector...

Bob then looked at the coin and thought nothing of it. It looked valuable enough--but he wasn't the numismatist, his cousin was. He'd touch base with him later. He then pocketed the coin and then went back to work.

"You are welcome." Keith flashed the off-duty cop a smile, then returned to checking how his food was coming along and realized that he needed to turn his skewer over. He had almost burned one side, but had caught it just in time. He would need to pay more attention to his food to make sure the other side did not burn.

Fortunately, it seemed like the place had calmed down a bit. Keith would give the mother of the fangirl whom he had paralyzed a little call when he got back to the hotel, but for now, he didn't worry too much about it.

"You are welcome." Keith flashed the off-duty cop a smile, then returned to checking how his food was coming along and realized that he needed to turn his skewer over. He had almost burned one side, but had caught it just in time. He would need to pay more attention to his food to make sure the other side did not burn.

Fortunately, it seemed like the place had calmed down a bit. Keith would give the mother of the fangirl whom he had paralyzed a little call when he got back to the hotel, but for now, he didn't worry too much about it.

It was in this time that the TV now showed other things. Like a new episode of Hong Kong Supercop. Standing proud on the screen, a man in a long trenchcoat with dual Berettas was yelling to a Triad boss holding a young girl hostage, saying, "Let her go, Tang! She has nothing to do with us!" To that, the gangster poked his gold-plated Desert Eagle into the girl's head, and said, "Too late copper! She saw the murder, and she's going to have to die!" With that, the man in the coat held out the pistol in his left hand, sighted downrange on it as the camera did a dramatic spin and zoom into the iron sights, and then it followed the bullet as he fired it into the thug's head.

Chin just laughed when he saw that, saying, "American Television....it's so funny, really. And rather violent. Hong Kong isn't actually like that." Tommy laughed and said back to Chin, pointing with a piece of shortrib in his chopsticks, "Yeah, says the guy packing dual Colt Governments. How's that for irony?"

As the repartee occurred, another couple, a couple of frat boys, walked up to Keith saying, "Yo, you're that dude who beat down those weeaboos in the mall, aintcha?" The other chuckled, saying, "Yeah, fuckin' neckbeards." Judging by their casual dress and somewhat rough demeanor, these guys weren't looking for a fight, but an autograph.

Colonel Allaire garnished his own shortrib with some lettuce and cooked garlic, and looked forward to eating it. He didn't care much for the cop drama, though he listened to Tommy needle Chin about having to carry twin Colts around. The lawyer would probably want to look into upgrading his Detective Special soon, as well.

But just as the Colonel was about to dig in to his mouth-watering plate, two fratboys walked up to him. Their diction was not exactly a shining reference for the New Dornalian education system, but no matter. Though he was seated, he got up; at least he sensed that they were not looking for trouble. "Hello, there," he greeted them as he gave both of them bone-crunching handshakes. "Indeed, I am. Were you looking for something?"

Colonel Allaire garnished his own shortrib with some lettuce and cooked garlic, and looked forward to eating it. He didn't care much for the cop drama, though he listened to Tommy needle Chin about having to carry twin Colts around. The lawyer would probably want to look into upgrading his Detective Special soon, as well.

But just as the Colonel was about to dig in to his mouth-watering plate, two fratboys walked up to him. Their language was not exactly a shining reference for the New Dornalian education system, but no matter. Though he was seated, he got up; at least he sensed that they were not looking for trouble. "Hello, there," he greeted them as he gave both of them bone-crunching handshakes. "Indeed, I am. Were you looking for something?"

The bigger fratboy said, shaking Keith's hand so hard it felt like an earthquake, "Hell yeah, brother! We wanted to get a pic and an autograph." He then pointed at the other man with him with both of his index fingers, saying "The name's Eddie Royce of Sigma Alpha Phi, USC, this here's my frat brother, Teddie Johnson!" Teddie, the one who had let out the phrase insulting facial hair before said, "Yeah. That's me. Looks like you hate weeaboos as much as we do, right?" Eddie then turned to Teddie and punched him in the arm, going, "Dude! Not yet, man. We don't wanna seem like haters. No one likes a hater, man."

At that point, someone decided to tip off NDBC News. When Chess Headman got word of the story, he then texted his crew, saying, "Boys, get in the van. We're going to Koreatown."

With that, the NDBC newsmen rushed to Koreatown, and when this occurred, the media freaked. The woman from People's News Net then pulled out her laspistol and aimed it at the other news crews, saying, "Get the fuck back!" as she rushed onto the PNN van, speeding after Chess to Koreatown. As they did so, she muttered to herself, "No one outscoops me. Fucking Chess. It's checkmate for you, fag."

"I do not hate anyone, but people brandish katanas and fire guns at me can expect to get their ass handed to them," Keith replied to the fratboys like he was discussing the weather. Keith let Eddie punch Teddie, but made a mental note of it for later.

Taking a quick bite of his food, Keith looked around for something to sign. He also wondered just how to pose for the camera. But then he had another idea. A mischievous, but harmless one. "Teddie, get the camera ready." Poor Eddie. He really should not have punched Teddie. Eddie's only hint of what was about to come was that grin on Keith's face. Not exactly enough for a non-Force sensitive to be able to tell what was coming.

When Teddie had the camera ready, Keith acted, quickly. Before Eddie could even remotely figure out what was going on, he found himself upside down, Keith having scooped him up far more quickly than he could hope to react, thanks to his Jedi reflexes. Keith held Eddie's body vertically, against his chest. Eddie would have a freaky split second of looking upside down at the floor, his head just a couple of feet off of it...

And then Keith piledrove him, simple as that. Gently, of course. Keith did not want to send him to the hospital; he just wanted to have a little harmless fun. Of course, Keith made sure that poor Eddie's body would fall away from other people in the restaurant; collateral damage here was a big no-no...

"I do not hate anyone, but people brandish katanas and fire guns at me can expect to get their ass handed to them," Keith replied to the fratboys like he was discussing the weather. Keith let Eddie punch Teddie, but made a mental note of it for later.

Taking a quick bite of his food, Keith looked around for something to sign. He also wondered just how to pose for the camera. But then he had another idea. A mischievous, but harmless one. "Teddie, get the camera ready." Poor Eddie. He really should not have punched Teddie. Eddie's only hint of what was about to come was that grin on Keith's face. Not exactly enough for a non-Force sensitive to be able to tell what was coming.

When Teddie had the camera ready, Keith acted, quickly. Before Eddie could even remotely figure out what was going on, he found himself upside down, Keith having scooped him up far more quickly than he could hope to react, thanks to his Jedi reflexes. Keith held Eddie's body vertically, against his chest. Eddie would have a freaky split second of looking upside down at the floor, his head just a couple of feet off of it...

And then Keith piledrove him, simple as that. Gently, of course. Keith did not want to send him to the hospital; he just wanted to have a little harmless fun. Of course, Keith made sure that poor Eddie's body would fall away from other people in the restaurant; collateral damage here was a big no-no...

As Eddie was summarily piledriven into the ground, Teddie took a picture of the act in action and said, shouting like a kid in a candy store, pumping his fist, "Fuckin' A, man! Fuckin' A!" Eddie then got up and rubbed his head, caught off guard by the sudden wrestling move. Turning to Keith he then said, "Dude! Woah!" Teddie then quipped in a gloating manner as he printed out the picture, "Yeah, he got you good, bitch! POW!" Eddie then said, laughing it off nervously, "Lucky you got me in a good mood, man. If you were anybody else, Colonel, I would've knocked you flat for that."

As this display of machismo occurred, the restaurant patrons sighed at the wanton loud noises that were occuring, and Tommy said disapprovingly, "Guys, keep it down....you're making a scene."

And even as this occurred, Chess's van found itself the target of potshots from PNN News. Alberta Takanawa, the main newswoman from PNN, was armed with a laspistol, and leveled it at the NDBC Newsvan, firing six shots into its side. The crew inside lept back as the las shots barely missed vital camera equipment, and they yelled to Chess, "Chess, do something!"

Chess then sighed, saying, "I wish, but my maid isn't here."

The driver then yelled, "Screw this!" and moved to pull a PIT Maneuver upon the PNN van. Slamming into its side, he then jerked the NDBC van's bumper's right side into the enemy, forcing it to swerve as Chess and Co. stormed onto Koreatown.

"Well, I suppose that solves the problem of how exactly to pose for the picture." Keith grinned. "Give me that. You said you wanted my autograph, correct?" He extracted a pen from his jeans...and then sensed a disturbance in the Force.

One of those disturbances resulting from a serious gunfight. When the combatants were driving at more than a hundred kilometers an hour. And said combatants were rapidly getting closer.

"Seriously. While I would like to show Eddie why he is wrong about his ability to knock anyone flat..." Keith just looked at him innocently... "we need to tone it down. The media is coming, and I doubt you want to make yourselves look like drunken fools on international television."

The Colonel took advantage of the lull to eat a few more bites of his dinner; it was a good thing he could call upon the Force to reheat it. He had a feeling he might not be able to finish it for a while.

"Seriously. While I would like to show Eddie why he is wrong about his ability to knock anyone flat..." Keith just looked at him innocently... "we need to tone it down. The media is coming, and I doubt you want to make yourselves look like drunken fools on international television."

The Colonel took advantage of the lull to eat a few more bites of his dinner; it was a good thing he could call upon the Force to reheat it. He had a feeling he might not be able to finish it for a while.

The feuding media outlets Keith sensed continued their duel, as they swerved throughout Koreatown, taunting one another as they carried out an impromptu street race, punctuated by odd shots of fire. Alberta shouted to the NDBC newsmen, "You're not getting my story, cocksucker!" To that, the driver of the NDBC van said, "Hey lady! There ain't enough room in this circus for both of us!"
-----------------------
Tommy then said, smiling, "Thank you, Colonel. I don't want Bob to kick me out." Pointing to Bob, who waved at the party, Tommy then continued with, "And then I'd lose my hangout spot." As Tommy said this, Chin sensed the same troubling disturbance Keith did, with the motorized gunfighters. This was going to be fun. Americans sure seemed to love fighting...

Teddie, upon hearing Keith's advice, then replied: "Shit, the media's coming? We better look good, man. Show some Trojan pride, you never know who's watching." Eddie nodded in reply, only agreeing that the University of Southern California needed their support.

Chin then Forcemessaged Keith, saying, "We need a plan. The media will only serve to distrupt our meal; I for one want to eat in peace. And I do not imagine any of the patrons want them to come. Suggestions?"

Keith was relieved that the two fratboys were able to calm down. Oh, yes, he could always appeal to university pride, hehehe. But there were more pressing concerns afoot, like the media, and the fact that the Colonel still had half a plate worth of food in front of him.

Moreover, Chin raised a valid question, but Keith really wanted to finish his food before leaving, and he wanted to be able to enjoy the taste rather than simply shoveling it down, as well. I have an idea. We Forcemessage the media to either stay out and leave us alone for twenty minutes, so that we can eat, or they do not get a word out of us. Not one. In no uncertain terms.

Moreover, Chin raised a valid question, but Keith really wanted to finish his food before leaving, and he wanted to be able to enjoy the taste rather than simply shoveling it down, as well. I have an idea. We Forcemessage the media to either stay out and leave us alone for twenty minutes, so that we can eat, or they do not get a word out of us. Not one. In no uncertain terms.

Chin nodded, and then sent an ominous Forcemessage in the nastiest voice he could muster. Something akin to a growling, evil voice, digitally altered. Targeted at the two media trucks that were now fighting for parallel parking space, it was thus:

"My friends and I are trying to eat. Leave us for 20 minutes so we may do so. If this is not done, then we will not speak to any of you. We value our privacy, and our rights. Kindly respect that."

The voices were enough to scare the crews inside, and the shock from hearing the voice was so much the trucks ended up hitting cars on the side of the road, the drivers too scared to focus on what was in front of them. Backing up and parallel parking appropriately, the NDBC News van was first, followed by the PNN News van. Both could be seen furiously negotiating with the owners of the vehicles they bumped into, exchanging insurance ID numbers and making profuse apologies. Who the hell were they dealing with?

With that, Chin returned to his plate of food. The kimchee was good today, its melody of pickled spicy cabbage searing his mouth for the best. Tommy then leaned back and said, "What the hell was that?"

Keith smiled. "That was Chin telling the media to allow twenty minutes for us to enjoy our food, or we would not say one word to their microphones. We just bought ourselves some time to eat in peace, folks. Then we get to go deal with that hassle. Enjoy the food while you can."

And with that, Keith started eating his own kimchee. He wondered where to find this kind of food in Evil Woody Thoughts...

Keith smiled. "That was Chin telling the media to allow twenty minutes for us to enjoy our food, or we would not say one word to their microphones. We just bought ourselves some time to eat in peace, folks. Then we get to go deal with that hassle. Enjoy the food while you can."

And with that, Keith started eating his own kimchee. He wondered where to find this kind of food in Evil Woody Thoughts...

Chin let out an "Aahh...." of relief. He was glad to be at peace for 20 minutes. Everything so far seemed to be one adventure after another, and he was getting dead tired.....he wondered if it would not be possible for him to gain a following like that. No, scratch that, he wanted some respect, but a more enlightened one, hopefully not made of toughs.

With that thought, he grilled up some more shortribs, eating them with the garlic and sides, and kimchee. It was good stuff, slightly Americanized and possibly filtered through Japanese sources, but overall beautiful stuff. The marinades seemed to play well on his tongue. The sizzling was a familiar feeling. And the TV, comforting, with an Ultimate Fighter match going on onscreen.

As this occurred, Tommy was taking solace in the food too. It was comforting, and good stuff. Something to take his mind off the hijinks of the day. He checked his cell; nobody called, that was good.

In that time, the fratboys were cheering, but in the meanwhile they had forgotten why the picture occurred. Thus, they asked Keith to finish up the autograph.

Colonel Allaire finished up his own marinated shortribs, chewing slowly so as to savor the approximately three dozen marinades, or so it seemed, that kissed his tongue, whilst watching the Ultimate Fighter match with slight interest. Those "Ultimate Fighters," however, were complete pansies compared to the sporadic Trials of Position that the Colonel was accustomed to from his tenure in the Woodian military. Oh, yes, air some of THOSE, those were real fights...

A light poke on the shoulder brought Keith's attention away from the Ultimate Fighting. His head swiveled, and he saw Teddie, who wanted him to hurry up and autograph Eddie's Most Embarrassing Moment Ever. "Oh, yes, Eddie should not have punched you," Colonel Allaire grinned at Teddie as he reached for the pen he had extracted from his pocket earlier and scribbled his signature on the photograph.

He then looked at his watch. The Peace and Tranquility would soon come to an end...

Colonel Allaire finished up his own marinated shortribs, chewing slowly so as to savor the approximately three dozen marinades, or so it seemed, that kissed his tongue, whilst watching the Ultimate Fighter match with slight interest. Those "Ultimate Fighters," however, were complete pansies compared to the sporadic Trials of Position that the Colonel was accustomed to from his tenure in the Woodian military. Oh, yes, air some of THOSE, those were real fights...

A light poke on the shoulder brought Keith's attention away from the Ultimate Fighting. His head swiveled, and he saw Teddie, who wanted him to hurry up and autograph Eddie's Most Embarrassing Moment Ever. "Oh, yes, Eddie should not have punched you," Colonel Allaire grinned at Teddie as he reached for the pen he had extracted from his pocket earlier and scribbled his signature on the photograph.

He then looked at his watch. The Peace and Tranquility would soon come to an end...

Eddie then laughed, saying, "Dude, it was just a love tap. You know, when a brother gets outta line?" Teddie then looked at him and said, "Well, dude. When you put it like that, it sounds kinda gay." Eddie then looked at Teddie, shook his head in disbelief, and merely mumbled, "Maybe you're covering for something...."

As this occurred, the media looked at their watches, and the twenty minutes ended. At that point, Chess stormed the door, as he ran through with his crew, slamming the door in Alberta's face as she was knocked to the ground. Chess then pulled out his mike and said, "This is Chess Headman, from the Headman Report! We have an exclusive story here from Koreatown, where I managed to locate the man who bested Daniel Masaki in a duel and bested a crazed fangirl mob, as well as the man who worked with him to reportedly destroy an entire crime syndicate!" Walking up to Chin, he thrust a mike at both of them and said, "So tell me, how does it feel to be heroes?"

Chin then said, looking at the camera, "I find it was satisfying to be carrying out the mandates of justice. The matenance of public order and peace in respect to the people's rights should be paramount. I was merely doing my job, nothing more. Though you may call me a hero if you wish."

Somewhat taken aback by Chin's humility, Chess then thrust the mike at Allaire, saying, "And you?"

Jacob's search would not be fruitless. In Little Tokyo, where he blended in as another Japanese fellow, he found a storefront marked "Ishikawa and Sons Advanced Materials Company." With a small adjoining warehouse, Jacob would be sure to find his titanium and phrik here.



OOC: Gonna need a reply to this, so ya don't get lost, CW.

As this occurred, the media looked at their watches, and the twenty minutes ended. At that point, Chess stormed the door, as he ran through with his crew, slamming the door in Alberta's face as she was knocked to the ground. Chess then pulled out his mike and said, "This is Chess Headman, from the Headman Report! We have an exclusive story here from Koreatown, where I managed to locate the man who bested Daniel Masaki in a duel and bested a crazed fangirl mob, as well as the man who worked with him to reportedly destroy an entire crime syndicate!" Walking up to Chin, he thrust a mike at both of them and said, "So tell me, how does it feel to be heroes?"

Chin then said, looking at the camera, "I find it was satisfying to be carrying out the mandates of justice. The matenance of public order and peace in respect to the people's rights should be paramount. I was merely doing my job, nothing more. Though you may call me a hero if you wish."

Somewhat taken aback by Chin's humility, Chess then thrust the mike at Allaire, saying, "And you?"

Colonel Allaire shrugged. "I simply did my job. Oh, yes, and defended myself."

Colonel Allaire shrugged. "I simply did my job. Oh, yes, and defended myself."

Chess then asked the question; "What did you feel when those crazed women assaulted you?"

On that note, Alberta ran into the restaurant, and then said to herself, "Shit. Fucker scooped my story...." Confronted by a waitress, Alberta simply said, "I'd like a table, please." She sighed, knowing that with Chess, he would basically win.

Chess received another shrug in reply. "I felt like I had to defend myself? It defies logic that they thought they could kill me after knowing that I had managed to hospitalize their idol. Maybe they thought I would simply roll over and play dead, like Daniel Masaki has been known to do with his fangirls?"

Chess received another shrug in reply. "I felt like I had to defend myself? It defies logic that they thought they could kill me after knowing that I had managed to hospitalize their idol. Maybe they thought I would simply roll over and play dead, like Daniel Masaki has been known to do with his fangirls?"

Chess then winced at that last part. Deciding to explore further why this man who had bested Daniel Masaki decided to gloat about it and insult his opponent's masculinity, he then commented, "Well, Colonel, fanatics never have been known for good sense. That is a given."

He continued, asking simply, "I do notice something Colonel and that is you commented on Daniel's seeming lack of spine and manhood when it comes to containing his supporters. Care to explain what brought you to this conclusion?"

"Suffice it to say that I will have a discussion with him about the conduct of his supporters when he recovers. Perhaps I can enlighten you after such discussion occurs. That is all."

"Suffice it to say that I will have a discussion with him about the conduct of his supporters when he recovers. Perhaps I can enlighten you after such discussion occurs. That is all."

"Heh." Chess then followed up that question with another, designed to keep the flow going. "Tell me, have the relatives of any of the injured women confronted you with legal threats or threats of some kind?"

"Not at this time." As much as Chess wanted to keep the conversation going, Keith had to admit, he wanted it to end. Especially with Tommy looking over his shoulder...

"Not at this time." As much as Chess wanted to keep the conversation going, Keith had to admit, he wanted it to end. Especially with Tommy looking over his shoulder...

Tommy then got up and noticed Keith's eagerness to end the conversation. He then walked up to Chess and said, "I'm Thomas Park, Colonel Allaire's attorney. My client does not wish to engage in further questions at this time."

Chess then said, "As you wish." Turning to Chin, he then asked, "So tell me, how did you get to know the Colonel?"

Chin replied in a much calmer fashion, thinking, "This man wants to talk, then I will talk to him as much as I want to tell him. I will be kind about it."

With that, the conversation went thusly:

Chin:

"I met him in a coffeehouse in Somalia. He assisted me in defusing a nasty situation involving two malcontents by disabling their pistols. I however, was left to finish the men off."

Chess:

"What about the report you two had to engage a crime syndicate?"

Chin:

"The Colonel did the majority of decapitation. He took out the boss, a misguided pirate king who we had inadvertedly angered. He had a bounty on us, you see. I, however, demolished a significant portion of their distribution facilities, particularly a central facility outside of the town we were in."

Chess:

"I see that your friend has a couple of followers." (points to Teddie and Eddie)

Chin:

"Yes, he does. Two fellows from college."

Teddie and Eddie:

"USC TROJANS RULE! YEAH!" (pump fists in air. Camera temporarily focuses in on the fratboys, before it goes back to Chin)

Chin:

"Exactly."

Chess:

"Well, what do you think?"

Chin:

"If I get a following of some kind for my efforts, I do not mind. I would like to establish my own School someday, and word of mouth is a powerful tool." (Raises finger, smiles) "However, I am not a glory hound. I do not actively seek the spotlight like Sensei Batov. And not like you and your opponent from the People's News Network, perhaps?"

Chess (slightlly irked):

"I see. A humble man, and a humble hero. Thank you, Mr. Chin. Chess Headman, for the Report. Signing off, Nation!"

The cameras then stopped and then Chess said to his crew, "Okay boys, they ain't talkin.' Let's go." The crew could probably tell he was dissapointed that he didn't get all the lurid details, but Chin and Tommy were glad to have that man out of his sight, as Chess left to board the van and get out. All they wanted was food. The media could wait. However, they both looked at Alberta, who then said, "I'll get to you in a minute."

Tommy then motioned to Bob, "Check please!" Bob then brought the check, and said in a friendly voice, "There ya go, Tommy boy. Enjoy. How was the meal, man?" Tommy merely replied, "Good as ever, dude. Marinade was fuckin' awesome." Bob chuckled and said, "Thanks, man. Secret family recipe always does the trick."

The one who said he'd pay paid, and then Tommy got up and said, "Right, let's go."

"Indeed. Let us go." Colonel Allaire thanked Bob for the food on his way out the door, to that waiting taxi. Thankful that the media was gone for now, yet dreading the phone call he had to make to the mother of the kid he had paralyzed with his deep freeze, he looked down at that card that The Bitch had given to him. "I need to get back to the hotel," he muttered.

"Indeed. Let us go." Colonel Allaire thanked Bob for the food on his way out the door, to that waiting taxi. Thankful that the media was gone for now, yet dreading the phone call he had to make to the mother of the kid he had paralyzed with his deep freeze, he looked down at that card that The Bitch had given to him. "I need to get back to the hotel," he muttered.

Tommy, for his part, got into the taxi and sat down. He was tired, worn out, and he just leaned back with a sigh of relief. He smiled, turned to Keith, and could only say, "Hell, you got my number, right? Call me if you still need my legal services by tomorrow, Colonel." He then turned to Chin, as he was going into the taxi, "You too, man. I could even do pro bono."

Chin sheepishly smiled back, and waved nervously, saying, "No, I do not need charity. I will pay the expenses." Tommy then said, "Whatever, Mr. Chin, just get in."

Of course, he then noticed a woman walk up to him as he was about to get into the auto. He then said to the driver in Cantonese, "One moment." Chin then replied, "I need to answer this. Hold on." He then shut the door and turned to face the young woman.

The woman then asked, "Are you that man from the TV?" Chin then replied, "Yes, your point being? I have had a rather long day, and I cannot keep my friends waiting." The woman replied, smiling, "Well, I couldn't help you're a People's Acolyte, and you had dual pistols." Emphasizing the point, Chin found the woman pointing at the slight bulges in his shirt, which showed the Colt Government pistols. Chin then nodded and said, "Yes, I am a shooter and an Acolyte. Being one does not exclude membership in the other, as long as you follow the Oath."

The woman then showed her Acolyte badge, and then introduced herself as "Lisa Park. Comrade 3rd Class, Temple of Long Beach." Scribbling her number onto a card, she then handed it to Chin and said, "If you're in town for a few days, maybe we could have a chat about doctrine. Even show me a few moves?" Chin took the card and smiled, saying, "I will think about it," before getting into the taxi and leaving.

The taxi then moved to Keith's hotel, speeding quickly back and forth as he drove through the traffic. By now, it was night in Los Angeles, and traffic wasn't so bad as it was before in the afternoon. It also cooled down somewhat in the evening, so Keith would get some relief. Once they arrived at the hotel, Keith would be able to get out, then the taxi took Tommy to his apartment in Sawtelle, whilst Chin was deposited in the local Acolyte temple; being a member of the order, he could lodge there.

"Thank you." Keith gave the cab driver a nice tip before jumping out and going to his hotel room.

Once inside, he pulled out that card that Bitch Woman had given her in the restaurant, the card with contact information for the mother of the paralyzed weeaboo. He dialed the number on said card. The Colonel had said he would offer to pay for the portion of the girl's hospital treatment that the New Dornalian Government had not. And he would keep his word.

"Hello? May I please speak to Shauna McInnerley?" Colonel Allaire was dreading this...

"Hello? May I please speak to Shauna McInnerley?" Colonel Allaire was dreading this...

The phone number Keith had dialed was McInnerley's personal phone, and at this very moment, McInnerley was in Central Germany. Particuarly, Rammstein Armed Forces Base, the other big facility on Earth that could support cryobacta production. Fortunately, Rammstein AFB had a supply on hand, and what it couldn't supply for Mrs. McInnerley's daughter's unthawing it imported from Cedars-Sinai out in Los Angeles.

As Mrs. McInnerley stood guard over her daughter, incredibly distraught, sighing and crying and wondering why in the name of the People had this occurred, this freezing, this mad gunplay, why her daughter turned into a madwoman shootist when she was about to go to Stanford Law, she felt a vibrating in her pocket. It was her phone. Picking it up, she turned it on and heard Keith. She replied thusly, still quaking somewhat from the magnitude of it all, "Yes....this is Shauna. How can I help you?"

"Hello, Mrs. McInnerley. I am not sure how to explain this..." Keith took a deep breath before the plunge... "but I am the person whom your daughter attempted to mob. I deeply regret the extremes to which I resorted defending myself against the mob, and I wish to offer my apologies and reimburse you for the out-of-pocket expenses incurred in her treatment."

"Hello, Mrs. McInnerley. I am not sure how to explain this..." Keith took a deep breath before the plunge... "but I am the person whom your daughter attempted to mob. I deeply regret the extremes to which I resorted defending myself against the mob, and I wish to offer my apologies and reimburse you for the out-of-pocket expenses incurred in her treatment."

McInnerley paused for a moment. Then, she spoke sternly and firmly, her voice hardening to a knife's edge as she gritted her teeth. So this was the man who hurt her little girl.....she could only say this.

"Well. I see you've come to apologize, and own up for the hell you've put me and my daughter through. I accept your apology, and the compensation you agree to pay for my medical expenses, because it is the least you can do to ease my suffering. But, I'd like to tell you a few things on my mind, that I've been saving up for this moment.

You and I can take comfort in the fact that her outer limbs are not beyond repair. They are due to be unthawed in a week, they have her in a cryobacta chamber now. But that's not what I'm worried about."

As if her voice wasn't colored with seething resentment enough, Keith would now get to hear her voice darken with contempt and rage, and a tinge of sorrow, as she continued:

"I'm thinking about the act you did, which nearly rendered my daughter a quadriplegic and would have done so if it were not for the good graces of the Army doctors here at Rammstein. They had the paitence to fix what you broke.

My daughter Eileen may have been irrational, but she is certainly not a monster. I hope you realized that as you froze her limbs, hero. She was a straight A student, with a future in Law. Next year, she was going to go to Stanford. Now, she'll more than likely go to San Quentin unless I provide a good reason why she can't go. You're lucky I'm still rational enough not to blame that bit on you. But, I just want you to realize she wasn't a couple of hands with a lasgun, but a breathing young woman who was and is full of life. Thank you. Now, do you have anything else to say?"

There was a long silence on Keith's end as thoughts swirled through his mind, each individual thought fighting a Grand Melee in his head to be the one blurted out aloud. That he had used the most powerful of his powers that he knew to deep-freeze teenage girls. That he should be more judicious about applying only the minimum force necessary in self-defense. That he had killed two other such daughters of someone in such a manner. The inevitable questions of, "Where were the parents while the children stockpiled guns and joined an idol cult?" (Now was definitely not the time to be asking that.) That yes, indeed, Keith had in many ways, frozen her future opportunities, frozen her life. He was at least relieved that the kid would not be permanently paralyzed.

And yes, the mother had every right to be angry. He should have just slagged the kid's lasgun, like he had the weapons of the mercenaries back in Somalia. The girl still would have faced jail time to be sure, but at least she would not have been in the hospital half a world away right now. Hell, invocation of surkai might have been appropriate, if not for the fact that it was usually done in person, and the two were, again, half a world away.

Indeed, Colonel Allaire would really need to have that conversation with Daniel Masaki about reigning in the fangirls, so that more of his worshipers did not throw away their future as had the mob that had attacked him.

And he would have to be far more parsimonious in the use of his abilities. Especially where minors were concerned.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke. Softly. "I cannot claim to fully understand your grief. I am truly sorry, and will ask the judge for mercy. She knew not what she was doing, after all..."

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke. Softly. "I cannot claim to fully understand your grief. I am truly sorry, and will ask the judge for mercy. She knew not what she was doing, after all..."

The woman sternly said, "I should hope you do so. I intend to apply for insanity and/or clemency. After all, my daughter was not fully herself at the time. She said she was going on a hunting trip. I imagined it wasn't meant to hunt you, if you must know. And if you're thinking negligence, I don't know how in the hell she got my husband's lasgun--or a lasgun for that matter."

Though Shauna couldn't see it, Keith nodded solemnly. "I will ask my lawyer on how best to achieve clemency. I am not interested in vengeance for vengeance's sake; as you have said, your daughter has already suffered enough. I had hired him for unrelated reasons, before this happened, and I can provide you with his contact information if you wish."

Though Shauna couldn't see it, Keith nodded solemnly. "I will ask my lawyer on how best to achieve clemency. I am not interested in vengeance for vengeance's sake; as you have said, your daughter has already suffered enough. I had hired him for unrelated reasons, before this happened, and I can provide you with his contact information if you wish."

Shauna replied with a simple thought of, "Yes. That is perfectly acceptable. Please send me the contact information of your lawyer posthaste. I will see what I can do legally on my end. We may be able to work out a solution for the best. Thank you."

Colonel Allaire provided Shauna with Tommy Parks' contact information, then bid her goodbye and hung up, only to turn on the news. There wasn't much better to do, and besides, the Holonet discussion boards might provide a few laughs...

OOC: If we could please timeskip until about when Daniel wakes up. Chron posted in Hearts of Empire that he might not be posting there, so now is a good time to finish when we have CW's attention...

Colonel Allaire provided Shauna with Tommy Parks' contact information, then bid her goodbye and hung up, only to turn on the news. There wasn't much better to do, and besides, the Holonet discussion boards might provide a few laughs...

OOC: If we could please timeskip until about when Daniel wakes up. Chron posted in Hearts of Empire that he might not be posting there, so now is a good time to finish when we have CW's attention...

OOC: Done and done.

IC:

About a week later, UCLA doctors were focusing on Masaki's treatment. The furor of the previous few days aside, Doctor Patel breathed a sigh of relief, as the treatment, as monitored by the good doctor from Evil Woody Thoughts, was proving rather successful. Patel then did another check on the biomonitor; it showed the Hero's health was good, and almost ready for surgery.

Thus, with that in mind, he was unthawed, and Dr Farrell successfully operated on Daniel, removing all the shrapnel. It was a touch and go procedure, done with delicate care and the precision only UCLA's best could provide.

With that, Daniel was transferred to the recovery ward, and left under the care of the nurses.

Then, he'd be free to awake....

All through the night, Jacob worked on the used-car axle. He started with alchemizing the impurities and dry blood out of the heavily modified car axle, leaving it with essentially an iron bar. Next, he took the steel and titanium he recieved from the metal shop and began molding all three together into one long bar of steel with one end a wickedly sharp, slightly curved blade. In a short time, he transformed a used-car axle into a naginata with high-carbon stainless steel and titanium locked into the weapon for strength (no need for lightness since Keith didn't want light). It would have made a deadly weapon in its own right, but useless in the face of a lightsaber.

That's when Jacob added the phrik. Phrik alloy is one of the few metallic compounds that are resistant to lightsabers. It's also rare, therefore expensive. He paid a good bundle of money for the amount he required. Fortunately, the Masaki Clan pretty much swam in money -to the undying horror of many a Woodian- due to the many investments they made in the private sector and the stock markets.

Phrik was also complicated to alchemize, due to the fact that it was not one, but several metals at once. A less experienced alchemist than Jacob would likely screw up the process of bonding the material to the naginata and deliver a subpar product to Keith, who would rightfully pwn him if it turns out it didn't deflect lightsabers. As it was, it took several hours to fully bond the naginata with enough phrik to cover the entire shaft and blade and stand up to lightsabers in a full contact lock, even with a transmutation circle present. When he was done, the stink of ozone filled the air from the energies that were used in the creation of the naginata.

Jacob ran a final diagnosis on the weapon and saw that it was good. It was top-quality, better than anything that was currently on the market, and sharp enough to cleave bone with barely any resistance. It was heavy, weighing at least ten kilos more than it was before, but well balanced, with the weight distributed equally on all parts of the naginata. Keith would find it a worthy weapon to wield indeed.

Jacob carefully, almost reverently placed the naginata in a carefully designed wooden saya (scabbard) made just for the weapon and wrapped the whole thing in protective cloth. It was heavy as he lifted the whole thing and ran the strap around his shoulders, but he's used to carrying heavy materials. Besides, Izumi-sensei would cream him if he ever complained.

He headed back to the hotel where his family was staying. He will present the weapon when Daniel awakes...

=====

One Week Later...

I began to stir as the thawing and the healing was complete (it helped that it was also morning and the rooster decided it was a good time to crow). Slowly, my eyes opened, and I realized I was in a hospital. I wonder why I was...then I remembered. I lost the duel with Keith Allaire. Well, that made him a Knight, that's for sure. I suppose it was time to complete healing and ensure that the Clans don't start agitating for more power (it had happened before in Coredia when a leader died. Fortunately, the Masaki Clan wielded enough power and influence to squash such attempts.). I'm sure that everything is going to be fine.

Little did I know, though, that I would be having quite an interesting day ahead of me...

Dr. Patel was in the room as Daniel woke up, and so was Doctor Farrell and his staff. Smiling as his paitent awoke from his slumber, Patel folded his arms and greeted Daniel with a simple, cheery, "Welcome back to the land of the living."

He then motioned to Farrell and continued, saying, "I am Doctor Sanjay Patel, this is Dr. Farrell. We helped bring you back from the brink of death. I must say, it was touch and go there for a while. But with some help from Drs. Deimos and Kavanowskii from Evil Woody Thoughts, we were able to save you using a cryobacta bath. Farrell here was able to remove the shrapnel after the cryonic damage healed."

Farrell chimed in with, "You had many, many stones in you, sir. Which probably weren't supposed to be there."

Patel nodded, and simply continued, "For their removal, you can be grateful. Tell me, how do you feel now?"

Meanwhile, Tommy, who had showed up at the scene to prepare for the legal eventualities, was informed of the wakeup. With that, he called Keith, saying, "Your opponent's awake."

"Oh, he is awake, you say? I will be right there," Keith answered Tommy's call. Thankfully, with his voice, and not that weird telepathy stuff that Tommy did not like, probably because it made him think he was going crazy or something.

Colonel Allaire meant it, too. He popped into existence inside the hospital, just steps outside of Daniel Masaki's room, dressed in one of those polo shirts he had purchased whilst getting mobbed by Masaki fangirls. There was much to discuss with Daniel, and Keith did not want to waste any time.

Keith dragged Tommy into Daniel's room as he walked inside. "Well, hello there, Daniel. We have much to discuss." The tone in his voice definitely suggested that events had made things far more complicated than a simple Jedi duel gone overboard.

"Yeah, we do." I sat up slowly. "By the way, congratulations, you're a Jedi Knight. Formal proceedings will take place later, but as a member of the High Council, I grant you said rank."

"Who are you?" I pointed at Tommy.

Several pops of teleportation appeared in the room, bypassing the hospital doors. My family must have sensed me awakening and appeared accordingly. Katrina and Riley, Taylor, Jacob and little John.

"Hey. Welcome back!" Katrina hugged me.

"Glad you're back, bro." Taylor said.

"Same here." Jacob smiled, holding what appears to be a long, clothed and heavy staff around his shoulder. He would wait until Keith is ready to receive it.

"Hey Daddy!" Riley squeaked and hugged me with her mom.

Well, this was a fine reunion, that's for sure...

"Oh, yes, him." Keith, too, pointed to Tommy, as Daniel asked who the hell he was. "That would be Tommy Parks, Esquire, the lawyer I have hired on retainer to deal with any overzealous prosecutors that might emerge. There are some who seem to think I should be charged with assaulting you, or worse. And, you really need to rein in your fangirls, because a mob of your idol-worshipers decided to attack me shortly after you came here, and Tommy also gets to help me deal with that."

Meanwhile, young John Masaki just stayed quiet, as usual. He really didn't talk much, and this was no exception. However, at least he smiled and waved back at Daniel.

Meanwhile, the Colonel's eyes darted back and forth between Daniel and Jacob, more specifically, the package that Jacob held. Oh, yes, the Colonel was quite eager to try out his new toy.

"Oh, yes, him." Keith, too, pointed to Tommy, as Daniel asked who the hell he was. "That would be Tommy Parks, Esquire, the lawyer I have hired on retainer to deal with any overzealous prosecutors that might emerge. There are some who seem to think I should be charged with assaulting you, or worse. And, you really need to rein in your fangirls, because a mob of your idol-worshipers decided to attack me shortly after you came here, and Tommy also gets to help me deal with that."

OOC: Assuming Tommy learned a few things in the meantime.

Tommy Park smiled, and bowed in a formal 45 degree Asian bow, then before getting back up and extending his hand to Daniel, saying, "As the Colonel has said, Your Excellency, I am Thomas Sun-shin Park, Esquire. I am representing the Colonel in case legal difficulties arise. In this case, many have arisen since you last got into a duel with him."

Tommy sighed, and then proceeded to speak.

"I'll elaborate on what the Colonel said, but keep it short. While the Colonel himself is more than likely free from prosecution--the Duel did occur on Dornalian soil, but it was allowed by the National Law Concerning Psykers and Force Users, also known as Hawley-Lew Act--there are those who tried to attack him for it, believing that their dear 'Daniel-sama' as they call you had been slighted.

See, because of your duel with the Colonel, and your family's visit, a group of fangirls from the local wee-er, informal fan association, known as the Masaki Oendan came to the hospital to figure out what was going on. Naturally, hospital security, UCLA Campus Police and later the LAPD Riot Squad and, if I can remember, some ingenious work by your brother Jacob kept them at bay. However, one of them saw the Colonel, and decided to take pictures on their cellphones.

Next thing you know, while I am shopping for new clothes with the Colonel, who needed some new duds for a potential court date, a mob of presumably crazed fangirls attempts to commit Murder One on my client. I say crazed because you obviously a) would not have approved of their delusional revenge campaign and b) you probably would have worked to take them down.

My client takes them down, I pop in a few shots with a Colt Detective Special, and his Chinese friend, one Chin Tai Wong, according to the Civil Patrol reports from Somalia, helps put the icing on the cake. We go in for questioning, naturally, but then we get released, eat at my favorite Korean BBQ joint--you might call it yakiniku--and then go home. Afterwards, I get a call from one of their mothers, who wants to make an insanity plea for her kid along with the mothers of the others, to send them for psychiatric treatment instead of a term in Juvenile Hall.

So, that's where we are now."

I grimaced. "Sounds like things have been interesting while I've been out. Now you know why a Coredian celebrity (ie: the Masaki boys) fears the fangirls, Keith. Some would just be crazy enough to shoot anyone they dislike in their misguided mission to protect their Chosen Ones."

"On the issue of any charges stemming from the duel, I will move to drop them, using a press conference if necessary. Actually, I will insist on one, just to reassure the crazy fans and everyone else that I am indeed alive." I smiled wryly. Then I noticed the saya on Jacob's shoulder. "Oy...you didn't."

"I did." Jacob smiled, relieved to be rid of the heavy weapon as he presented it to Keith. "Keith Allaire, a gift for your ascension to Knighthood on behalf of the Masaki Clan."

"What, what's in there?" Taylor asked. If only he knew...

Colonel Allaire nodded at Daniel's statement that he would move for any legal troubles to be dropped. However on the issue of the fangirls... "Master Daniel, you really need to make it clear to the fangirls, or the parents, that vengeance missions on your behalf are not a good idea. And no, I fail to see why you are afraid of them..."

And then, much to Daniel's chagrin, Jacob unloaded his presents. Keith bowed as he accepted said presents, easily mounting the saya on his back like it was little more than a backpack with a field manual or two, and perhaps a couple meals' worth of rations. He quietly, nearly imperceptibly, stepped back and away from the others, as he had to try it out, of course.

Colonel Allaire drew his naginata suddenly, away from where it could harm the others, of course, so quickly that the mere drawing of the weapon made a loud whooshing sound, as it seemed to cut the air. Keith twirled the weapon, all thirty-five kilos of it, in the air, turning it into a blur, to see how well it was balanced. He seemed to have a much better time handling it than Jacob did, and the manner in which he drew it definitely suggested that he had been well-trained in Sojutsu well before the Jedi Order had ever heard of him. Such training compliments of the Woodian military, of course.

Much to Taylor's chagrin, his young adopted son, John, was also getting ideas. John figured that climbing up on the thing might make a fun amusement ride, kinda like the times he would climb up on Taylor's back, but much faster and more dizzying, and he didn't realize just how sharp the spear was. He (mistakenly) thought a well-timed leap could have him swinging around without personal injury to himself. John approached the spear.

Luckily for John, Keith was paying attention, and he stopped the spear literally about two inches in front of John. Keith wasn't happy about it either, because the vast majority of people would be completely unable to stop a seventy-seven pound weapon on the drop of a hat like Keith could; even many Jedi would not have been able to compensate for the weapon's inertia in time. "What the fuck were you thinking, kid!" Keith exclaimed to the six-year-old boy. "This thing is sharp!" To illustrate his point, he pricked one of his fingers on the thing's blade. It didn't take much to cut his skin.

"Eeep. Sorry." One very red-faced, embarrassed, and nervous John Masaki shimmered into invisibility, having Force-cloaked. And all Keith could do was sigh and re-sheath his weapon.

After John disappeared, another thought struck him, the thought that he needed to pay for this thing. "Umm, Jacob. How much did this cost to make? I know you said it was a gift, but I best reimburse you or some Ministry of Defense auditor's eyebrows will perk up."

OOC: At library right now. Antigone proved quite interesting.

IC:

Tommy was taken aback at the display of restraint shown by Keith, as he stopped the heavy naginata, now reborn as a real asskicker, before it could seriously injure the child. He could only say to Keith as he looked at the event with astonishment, "Nice save, Colonel."

Shaking his head to get himself back into reality, he then answered Daniel with a simple, "Well, that's well and good. I'm sure the State of California and the Workers State would be willing to drop the case if you are. Of course, there is the matter of that store they damaged in the fight; I'm sure a civil trial will result between that John Morrison branch and the defendants involved. The clerk there sounded afraid of his boss. But that's another matter entirely. For now, we need to let your fanbase know your displeasure at the situation."

Taylor seemed to jump out of his pants at the sight of the wicked weapon. "Waaah! It's taller than I am! Damn you, Keith!"

I groaned. "You really overdid yourself this time, Jacob. Can I presume you added phrik to it?"

"Yep." Jacob grinned, which scared me because I rarely saw him grin. "Two thousand credits' worth of metal went into this gem. I wonder about your anti-corruption regulations, Keith. Seems strict for a present..."

"Mommy, that's a big stick he's carrying." Riley pointed out.

"Yes, dear. A *very* big stick." Katrina nodded.

Taylor noted John was about to get hit by the blade and sighed in relief as Keith stopped it. Even though he's invisible... "We're going to have a little talk about playing around sharp implements soon enough, kiddo!"

"Two thousand? That is it?" Keith was impressed with Jacob's abilities. He had expected the thing to cost at least five times that; apparently Jacob had not let a single molecule go to waste. "Damn, you are efficient...I can take that out of my equipment allowance with no problems. And about the anti-corruption regs, the short version is, as you are a member of the Royal Family, you are automatically considered a 'foreign government lobbyist.' It would look dishonest of me to accept a gift, especially a valuable one, from a foreign lobbyist like that...it would look on the surface like you are trying to buy influence within the Evil Woody Thoughts military. The military is audited more often and stringently since the Darth Ebolus debacle, too, because postwar investigations found that the military actually ended up subsidizing his Sith training, when they thought they were paying for him to be trained as a Jedi."

And leave it to Taylor Masaki to complain about everything being taller than him. Colonel Allaire flashed him a grin. "Hey, no complaining--the shaft is a bit taller than *I*."

"Two thousand? That is it?" Keith was impressed with Jacob's abilities. He had expected the thing to cost at least five times that; apparently Jacob had not let a single molecule go to waste. "Damn, you are efficient...I can take that out of my equipment allowance with no problems. And about the anti-corruption regs, the short version is, as you are a member of the Royal Family, you are automatically considered a 'foreign government lobbyist.' It would look dishonest of me to accept a gift, especially a valuable one, from a foreign lobbyist like that...it would look on the surface like you are trying to buy influence within the Evil Woody Thoughts military. The military is audited more often and stringently since the Darth Ebolus debacle, too, because postwar investigations found that the military actually ended up subsidizing his Sith training, when they thought they were paying for him to be trained as a Jedi."

And leave it to Taylor Masaki to complain about everything being taller than him. Colonel Allaire flashed him a grin. "Hey, no complaining--the shaft is a bit taller than *I*."

Tommy chuckled at Keith's surprise at the expense. "Well, if you know where to look in Little Tokyo, it's not hard to get inexpensive hi-tech materials above the board and within the proper tax codes. Speaking of which, I wonder myself how Jacob afforded the Exotic Materials Fee? That's 4% in the State of California, you know, they double the National Rate. You know, old joke about the 'People's Republik of Kalifornia' with all k's." Tommy shrugged, and then thought to himself, "Jeez, look a gift horse in the mouth, why don'tcha? And I thought we were bad in terms of red tape."

"The burden is on me to prove there is no quid pro quo," Keith replied to Tommy's question about looking the gift horse in the mouth. "Trust me, it is just easier to reimburse him, especially when I can just use my equipment allowance for that...but hey, believe it or not, Evil Woody Thoughts does not tax it!"

"The burden is on me to prove there is no quid pro quo," Keith replied to Tommy's question about looking the gift horse in the mouth. "Trust me, it is just easier to reimburse him, especially when I can just use my equipment allowance for that...but hey, believe it or not, Evil Woody Thoughts does not tax it!"

Tommy chuckled again. Pointing to Keith, he said, "Good one, Colonel. But hey, at least we Dornies know gifts--no matter how taxed they can be--can be just gifts, and not necessarily always means to entrap one in a patron-client relationship." He then shrugged again, saying, "But, I can't change the laws you guys make. Just giving my views though."

"Very well." Jacob said to Keith. "I will allow you to reimburse me."

And leave it to Taylor Masaki to complain about everything being taller than him. Colonel Allaire flashed him a grin. "Hey, no complaining--the shaft is a bit taller than *I*."
"Hey, I'm the one who barely had a growth spurt when I was a kid! Even my twin's taller than me!"

"If only you drank milk..." I shook my head.

"That cow piss? Hell no!" Taylor grumbled.

While Taylor spat curses at milk, it was time for me to make my way to the press conference...

"Very well." Jacob said to Keith. "I will allow you to reimburse me."

"Oh, yes. Bring the receipts, too. The MoD auditors will want to see those." Keith nodded.

"Hey, I'm the one who barely had a growth spurt when I was a kid! Even my twin's taller than me!"

"If only you drank milk..." I shook my head.

"That cow piss? Hell no!" Taylor grumbled.

While Taylor spat curses at milk, it was time for me to make my way to the press conference...

Keith could only chuckle at Taylor's incoherent rant. ""Hey, I drank lots of milk, and still do. And I can kick yer ass. Cow-piss does a body good."

Then Keith flashed Daniel a grin. "Perhaps I should waterboard Taylor, but use milk rather than water?"

Meanwhile, John, though he was cloaked, and no one could see him, nodded. Keith could have sworn he heard him laughing about it, however.

"Oh, yes. Bring the receipts, too. The MoD auditors will want to see those." Keith nodded.



Keith could only chuckle at Taylor's incoherent rant. ""Hey, I drank lots of milk, and still do. And I can kick yer ass. Cow-piss does a body good."

Then Keith flashed Daniel a grin. "Perhaps I should waterboard Taylor, but use milk rather than water?"

Meanwhile, John, though he was cloaked, and no one could see him, nodded. Keith could have sworn he heard him laughing about it, however.

Tommy laughed, saying only to Keith's comment about waterboarding, "That's inefficent; I gotta know these things, after all. And it'll get you sued in some parts. Lord knows I defended a guy accused of waterboarding a man; it got ugly."

He then followed the party out to the press conference, as outside, a little spot in the lobby had been set up for Daniel and Friends to speak on the events that had shaken the fair city of Los Angeles rather recently. Eagerly awaiting was a horde of reporters, this time more orderly than the first time they showed up, per orders of the Hospital Security, who were more well prepared this time around.

"Oh, yes. Bring the receipts, too. The MoD auditors will want to see those." Keith nodded.
"I have them. Somehow, I figured you needed them." Jacob said.

Keith could only chuckle at Taylor's incoherent rant. ""Hey, I drank lots of milk, and still do. And I can kick yer ass. Cow-piss does a body good."

Then Keith flashed Daniel a grin. "Perhaps I should waterboard Taylor, but use milk rather than water?"

Meanwhile, John, though he was cloaked, and no one could see him, nodded. Keith could have sworn he heard him laughing about it, however.
"Hell no you won't!" Taylor groused. Then he heard something that sounded like laughter, listened for the source...and popped right on top of poor John. Said laughing invisible kid found a hand slapped on his head, along with a Force Wall to prevent escape. "You're not out of the woods yet, kiddo! You and I have a long talk about messing with blades. Now, decloak!"

Uh oh...

=====

He then followed the party out to the press conference, as outside, a little spot in the lobby had been set up for Daniel and Friends to speak on the events that had shaken the fair city of Los Angeles rather recently. Eagerly awaiting was a horde of reporters, this time more orderly than the first time they showed up, per orders of the Hospital Security, who were more well prepared this time around.
It was time. I walked out to the press conference with my family behind me. Sans Taylor as he seems to be lecturing his son on his little stunt. I smiled. At last, a true father/son moment for them.

It was time. I walked out to the press conference with my family behind me. Sans Taylor as he seems to be lecturing his son on his little stunt. I smiled. At last, a true father/son moment for them.

With that, the reporters erupted in a flurry of questions as Daniel Masaki came behind the temporary podium set up in the lobby. Eager for knowledge, they began standing up and taking pictures, with flashbulbs and video cameras rolling.

Hospital security waved and then said, "ONE AT A TIME! Let's not repeat last week, shall we?"

The reporters grew silent, as they complied. Then, one stood up.

"Chess Headman, Headman Report, NDBC News. Can you tell us what you will do about the Duel now that you have recovered?"

"Chess Headman, is it? Well, this needs to be said before anyone gets any ideas. The duel between me and Colonel Allaire was the final test in his Jedi Trials. As you know, the result of that duel was that he has turned me into a Jedi-sicle and landed me in this hospital. As a result I will..."

Suspense! Drum roll, please!

"...grant him the rank of Jedi Knight for defeating me fair and square! Any and all charges that may have stemmed from this duel will be dropped henceforth!" I announced.

"Hell no you won't!" Taylor groused. Then he heard something that sounded like laughter, listened for the source...and popped right on top of poor John. Said laughing invisible kid found a hand slapped on his head, along with a Force Wall to prevent escape. "You're not out of the woods yet, kiddo! You and I have a long talk about messing with blades. Now, decloak!"

Uh oh...

=====

It was time. I walked out to the press conference with my family behind me. Sans Taylor as he seems to be lecturing his son on his little stunt. I smiled. At last, a true father/son moment for them.

John decloaked, all right, deciding that it might just be better to get it over with. However, as he still didn't think of himself as a Masaki, he would still present...certain other difficulties for Taylor. "Yes, Keith Allaire already pwned me for it," John groused. "But you are NOT my father! I am NOT a Masaki, and I do not know how you deluded yourself into thinking otherwise!"

Poor Taylor. Raising a son that thought the entire family consisted of arrogant prima donnas was not always easy...

----------------

Meanwhile, Colonel Allaire stayed well in the background during the press conference, not even twitching when Daniel exclaimed about his promotion to Jedi Knight. He hoped to be passed over, but then again, he knew that media mobs were not to be underestimated...

"Chess Headman, is it? Well, this needs to be said before anyone gets any ideas. The duel between me and Colonel Allaire was the final test in his Jedi Trials. As you know, the result of that duel was that he has turned me into a Jedi-sicle and landed me in this hospital. As a result I will..."

Suspense! Drum roll, please!

"...grant him the rank of Jedi Knight for defeating me fair and square! Any and all charges that may have stemmed from this duel will be dropped henceforth!" I announced.

The reporters were stunned, and chatted amongst themselves. Then, another stood up, and said, "Alberta Takanawa, People's News Net. So now that the charges against Colonel Allaire will be dropped, what will occur with the Gang of Fifteen Fangirls? Word is that they will be arraigned in LA County Court tomorrow on charges of vandalism, attempted murder, conspiracy, and negligence with firearms."

The reporters were stunned, and chatted amongst themselves. Then, another stood up, and said, "Alberta Takanawa, People's News Net. So now that the charges against Colonel Allaire will be dropped, what will occur with the Gang of Fifteen Fangirls? Word is that they will be arraigned in LA County Court tomorrow on charges of vandalism, attempted murder, conspiracy, and negligence with firearms."
"Ah. That is what I wish to address now." I nodded, and then entered Stern Jedi Master mode. "A wise man once said, 'Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And I will say to them, begone you who do evil. I never knew you.' I say thus to those so-called fangirls who thought they would use Knight Allaire's defeat of me as an excuse to 'avenge' my honor. I also address those who believe they need to defend said honor: Don't. I do not need my honor defended nor will I ever need it. I can defend my own honor. Therefore I say to you who profess themselves as fans of the Masaki, get rid of any thought of violence against those who you feel dishonor me. If I decide I need to defend my honor, I will do it myself. I give warning: if you do commit violence in my name, then I will be like that wise man and say 'Depart from my presence. I never knew you.'

I will say no more on the subject and let the courts do their work. Will there be anything else?"

I will say no more on the subject and let the courts do their work. Will there be anything else?"

Hushed tones emerged through the room, as Daniel issued his displeased judgment upon those who abused his name to commit the attempted murder on Keith Allaire. Alberta sat down, as Chess stood back up, eager to monopolize the Q&A time before the guy from the LA Times could get it. He then asked, "I have a question. Who has the hospital billed for expenses pertaining to your medical care? Also, what of reports that Col-er, Knight Allaire's lawyers are in the Discovery Phase with lawyers from the Gang of Fifteen?"

The LA Times guy then stood up anyway and interjected with a "fuck you" glare at Chess, asking, "Donald Rutherford, Los Angeles Times. What will you do now that you've done your business? Also, what do you plan to do with that giant statue of you?"

John decloaked, all right, deciding that it might just be better to get it over with. However, as he still didn't think of himself as a Masaki, he would still present...certain other difficulties for Taylor. "Yes, Keith Allaire already pwned me for it," John groused. "But you are NOT my father! I am NOT a Masaki, and I do not know how you deluded yourself into thinking otherwise!"

Poor Taylor. Raising a son that thought the entire family consisted of arrogant prima donnas was not always easy...
"I 'delude' myself into thinking thus because there was no one else to care for you when I found you! I took myself up to raise you the best way I can and I'll be damned if I don't treat you like the father I should be!" Taylor shot back. "I love you, kiddo. I really do, so this is the part where I scold you. Blades are not toys! They're weapons and dangerous ones at that! Don't be stupid around sharp implements ever again or you will make your acquaintance with a ysalimari. Is that understood?"

"I 'delude' myself into thinking thus because there was no one else to care for you when I found you! I took myself up to raise you the best way I can and I'll be damned if I don't treat you like the father I should be!" Taylor shot back. "I love you, kiddo. I really do, so this is the part where I scold you. Blades are not toys! They're weapons and dangerous ones at that! Don't be stupid around sharp implements ever again or you will make your acquaintance with a ysalimari. Is that understood?"

"Oh, yes, I know. Keith ALREADY pwned me over the sharp objects. I got the point the first time. But honestly, what is so bad about ysalmari? Yes, I KNOW they take away the Force, but all I see in the family are a bunch of Force-using, arrogant pricks. Why would I want to use the Force anyway?" John shrugged.

Hushed tones emerged through the room, as Daniel issued his displeased judgment upon those who abused his name to commit the attempted murder on Keith Allaire. Alberta sat down, as Chess stood back up, eager to monopolize the Q&A time before the guy from the LA Times could get it. He then asked, "I have a question. Who has the hospital billed for expenses pertaining to your medical care? Also, what of reports that Col-er, Knight Allaire's lawyers are in the Discovery Phase with lawyers from the Gang of Fifteen?"
How will the bills get paid anyway? I asked Katrina mentally.

Insurance can deal with it. Katrina replied.

"Well, our insurance will deal with the hospital bills and as for your second question: no comment. Let the lawyers do their lawyer stuff."

The LA Times guy then stood up anyway and interjected with a "fuck you" glare at Chess, asking, "Donald Rutherford, Los Angeles Times. What will you do now that you've done your business? Also, what do you plan to do with that giant statue of you?"
At that question, I blinked. "What giant statue?"

Jacob sweatdropped and chuckled nervously. I scowled at him as he explained. "I built that statue to get the fans away from the hospital a while back."

"Well, I suppose the fans can do what they like with the statue." I replied to the question, bemused once more. "I hope they like it." Jacob, you really shouldn't have...

They were going to mob Keith and his lawyer. Besides, it's a cool battle pose. I could feel him grinning despite my best efforts at projecting ire.

Jacob!

He merely left my mind laughing.

"Now that I'm better, I believe that my own people await my presence. Thank you, and may the Force be with you."

"Oh, yes, I know. Keith ALREADY pwned me over the sharp objects. I got the point the first time. But honestly, what is so bad about ysalmari? Yes, I KNOW they take away the Force, but all I see in the family are a bunch of Force-using, arrogant pricks. Why would I want to use the Force anyway?" John shrugged.
"To keep Anakin off your back?" Taylor asked rhetorically, although he decided that the scolding from Keith had sunk in. "You're seven, so you have three or four more years of Academy to go. At least stick with us until then. If Anakin gives you a hard time, just kick his ass, ok? He needs his ego busted anyway..."

"To keep Anakin off your back?" Taylor asked rhetorically, although he decided that the scolding from Keith had sunk in. "You're seven, so you have three or four more years of Academy to go. At least stick with us until then. If Anakin gives you a hard time, just kick his ass, ok? He needs his ego busted anyway..."

"And I could just as easily return home and never have to use the Force to keep anyone off my back again," John sighed. "And Anakin is only the WORST one."

"Now that I'm better, I believe that my own people await my presence. Thank you, and may the Force be with you."

The reporters nodded, and then left the room as Hospital Security began escorting them out with cries of, "Let's go, let's go." Leaving as quickly as they came, they rushed into the area outside, to begin filming their reports.

Meanwhile, Tommy, who was with Keith at the time, only said to himself, "Good thing I didn't mention I was doing the Gang Case with Keith here. I respect my client's privacy."

"And I could just as easily return home and never have to use the Force to keep anyone off my back again," John sighed. "And Anakin is only the WORST one."
'True, you could. I really can't stop you." Taylor sighed. "But so long as you live in Coredia, I will just ask you to tolerate us. Please."

At this time, I decided to return from the press conference to see about getting my gear and some fresh clothes back. Along the way, I noticed Taylor still berating (or is it getting berated by?) John. "Yo. Something up here?"

Taylor just gave me a wounded look. "Aren't I supposed to be his parent? I feel like a sitcom dad with a smart-mouth kid..."

I shrugged. Even I can't really fathom John. "He's really independence-minded, Taylor. Besides, he's a Woodian."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. They hate all royals. I just wish he'd appreciate me sometime..." Taylor sighed.

"Maybe one day." I suggested. I turned to the kid. "Penny for your thoughts?"

As Taylor and John were having family issues, Keith was about to become involved in more trouble. Not from fangirls. But from an old enemy that bugged them at the Korean Restaurant. The media.

As Chess Headman and Alberta Takanawa were delivering their stories, they realized something was missing. Something like, oh say, perspective from the newly promoted Knight's side. It would make good ratings, and get to the bottom of things.

Thus, they looked at one another, and then scrambled into the Hospital, plowing down a couple of security guards as they ran in with their camera crews. Tommy could clearly see them fueding, and only said, poking Keith, "Umm...Colonel. Here comes the media goons."

Chess proceeded to trip Alberta into a cameraman, but not before Alberta punched him, temporarily knocking him out with a well timed punch to where the shoulder met the neck. Getting back up, she then ran up to Keith and said, "Knight Allaire! Wait! Alberta Takanawa, People's News Net! I have a few questions for you!"

Tommy turned to Keith and said, "Wanna take this, Colonel, or should I tell them the riot act?"

'True, you could. I really can't stop you." Taylor sighed. "But so long as you live in Coredia, I will just ask you to tolerate us. Please."

At this time, I decided to return from the press conference to see about getting my gear and some fresh clothes back. Along the way, I noticed Taylor still berating (or is it getting berated by?) John. "Yo. Something up here?"

Taylor just gave me a wounded look. "Aren't I supposed to be his parent? I feel like a sitcom dad with a smart-mouth kid..."

I shrugged. Even I can't really fathom John. "He's really independence-minded, Taylor. Besides, he's a Woodian."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. They hate all royals. I just wish he'd appreciate me sometime..." Taylor sighed.

"Maybe one day." I suggested. I turned to the kid. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Oh, hi, Daniel." John gave him a semi-friendly wave as he walked by. Then Daniel stopped, and John listened innocently as Taylor vented his frustration. Then it was John's turn...

The latter sighed. At least Daniel wasn't being his usual smirking self at the moment; John hated smirks. "Maybe you need to tell the family the same thing you told the fangirls? Because I do not feel like I *am* in this family. I want to go home."

Yes, John was Woodian, alright, through and through. He was even picking up the Woodian Armed Forces' disdain of contractions. What now?

As Taylor and John were having family issues, Keith was about to become involved in more trouble. Not from fangirls. But from an old enemy that bugged them at the Korean Restaurant. The media.

As Chess Headman and Alberta Takanawa were delivering their stories, they realized something was missing. Something like, oh say, perspective from the newly promoted Knight's side. It would make good ratings, and get to the bottom of things.

Thus, they looked at one another, and then scrambled into the Hospital, plowing down a couple of security guards as they ran in with their camera crews. Tommy could clearly see them fueding, and only said, poking Keith, "Umm...Colonel. Here comes the media goons."

Chess proceeded to trip Alberta into a cameraman, but not before Alberta punched him, temporarily knocking him out with a well timed punch to where the shoulder met the neck. Getting back up, she then ran up to Keith and said, "Knight Allaire! Wait! Alberta Takanawa, People's News Net! I have a few questions for you!"

Tommy turned to Keith and said, "Wanna take this, Colonel, or should I tell them the riot act?"

Keith had almost finished with turning around when Alberta interrupted his thoughts, and nearly got a swinging spear whacking her for her trouble. Not that Keith was trying to injure the media; the spear was still in his saya, but it pivoted with him when he was turning around. And he sensed ignorant reporters not paying the hell enough attention to where the hell they were going.

Colonel, er, Knight...er, Colonel Allaire waved Tommy off as he turned to face Alberta. And if Daniel had had a stern warning for the fangirls...well, Keith would make Daniel look like a giddy kid by comparison. "DO watch where you are going; your ignorance almost caused you to get a spear shaft to the face, and if *I* had not been paying attention with my Jedi senses, YOU would have been knocked on the floor along with your companion. And you would have had nothing but your closed eyes to blame."

Colonel Allaire's glare at the reporter seemed to harden. If that was at all possible. "Furthermore, this is not the first time I have seen violence in your country's media, and I find it disturbing. I do NOT condone violence for purposes of 'scooping,' and I will henceforth never grant an interview to a reporter whom I catch in the act. Is that clear, Miss Alberta Takanawa?"

Colonel Allaire's glare at the reporter seemed to harden. If that was at all possible. "Furthermore, this is not the first time I have seen violence in your country's media, and I find it disturbing. I do NOT condone violence for purposes of 'scooping,' and I will henceforth never grant an interview to a reporter whom I catch in the act. Is that clear, Miss Alberta Takanawa?"

Alberta didn't realize the naginata was about to hit her until Keith pointed it out, and with that, she stepped back and said, "Humph. Well, then."

She then waved her camera crew over to the area, with a gruff expression that could cut steel. The crew, acting like whipped dogs, moved their equipment to the side of their Lady and Mistress as they assembled behind her. Giving her the usual five-second lead in, she then said, "This is Alberta Takanawa, People's News Net. I have here Colonel Keith Alliaire, recently named Jedi Knight." Turning to Alliare with a forced smile, she put the mike gently in his face and said, "Colonel, how does it feel to be a Jedi?"

All the while Tommy was dismayed by the excess of it all. He thought to himself, "Geez....hope the Colonel doesn't get any ideas about us from that shortened whore. I mean, who honestly throws a sucker punch at a vital area?!"

"Oh, hi, Daniel." John gave him a semi-friendly wave as he walked by. Then Daniel stopped, and John listened innocently as Taylor vented his frustration. Then it was John's turn...

The latter sighed. At least Daniel wasn't being his usual smirking self at the moment; John hated smirks. "Maybe you need to tell the family the same thing you told the fangirls? Because I do not feel like I *am* in this family. I want to go home."

Yes, John was Woodian, alright, through and through. He was even picking up the Woodian Armed Forces' disdain of contractions. What now?
Ah, family problems. If it's not Nightshade, it's another issue. Fortunately, I'm usually good at this stuff.

"Well, they say home is what you make of it." I said. I think I have an idea... "Hmm...you and Keith seem to get along well."

A squawk of disbelief came from Taylor. "What?"

Alberta didn't realize the naginata was about to hit her until Keith pointed it out, and with that, she stepped back and said, "Humph. Well, then."

She then waved her camera crew over to the area, with a gruff expression that could cut steel. The crew, acting like whipped dogs, moved their equipment to the side of their Lady and Mistress as they assembled behind her. Giving her the usual five-second lead in, she then said, "This is Alberta Takanawa, People's News Net. I have here Colonel Keith Alliaire, recently named Jedi Knight." Turning to Alliare with a forced smile, she put the mike gently in his face and said, "Colonel, how does it feel to be a Jedi?"

All the while Tommy was dismayed by the excess of it all. He thought to himself, "Geez....hope the Colonel doesn't get any ideas about us from that shortened whore. I mean, who honestly throws a sucker punch at a vital area?!"

Oh, Knight Allaire's media pwnage did not end right there. The camera was rolling all right, and Keith simply replied, "It feels like a Jedi is always cleaning someone's mess." He walked over to Chess Headmann's unconscious body and knelt beside him, his nine-foot, three inch naginata, sheathed in its saya, making a forty-five degree angle against the ground, and protruding above Chess' body. It was likely Chess would have some questions of his own waking up to that, hehehehe.

Speaking of which, while the Colonel was not a medic, he at least knew first aid, and enough basics about Jedi healing to at least deal with the effects of a punch. Keith knelt over Chess for a couple of seconds, pouring what he knew of healing into Chess' neck inflammation, which wasn't too bad, and willing him to regain consciousness...

Ah, family problems. If it's not Nightshade, it's another issue. Fortunately, I'm usually good at this stuff.

"Well, they say home is what you make of it." I said. I think I have an idea... "Hmm...you and Keith seem to get along well."

A squawk of disbelief came from Taylor. "What?"

"Well, I cannot say that I would mind a vacation from the Masakis, if that is what you meant," John replied to Daniel. Then, the ramifications of being around Keith for any length of time hit John, and he gulped. Trying to reassure himself about the consequences of what he might have just gotten himself into, he added, "But there is only one of him, and there are many Masakis looking for any excuse to beat me out of the family..."

Chess Headman awoke, groaning like a man rising from the dead. Alberta was surprised, speaking into the camera, "Ladies and Gentlemen we are witnessing a veritable miracle!" Tommy shook his head, muttering about the old saying his grandpa had about Japanese--always too short, always too violent, always too greedy. Alberta seemed to be all of these in one, and didn't do her people any favors.

Rubbing his shoulder with a simple, "Aghhh...friggin cu-" He then saw the cameras, and cut his potentially denigrating statement pertaining to a woman's privates short. Looking up, he saw a giant of a blade--however sheathed it was---dangling like the proverbial Sword of Damocles above his sorry head. Leaping back just a little, he yelped and said, "Jesus! Get that damn thing out of my face! You could hurt someone with that."

Keith Allaire let Chess scoot back, away from the admittedly scary sight of the naginata hanging over him, before he got up, in such a manner that said implement of doom went from a forty-five degree angle to perpendicular with the floor (at least in respect to vertical plane, the thing was still slanted across Keith's entire back, thanks to the saya), away from Chess. Moreover, Keith knew full well what Chess was going to say about his rival, but let it slide for now. Still, not exactly endearing...

"I already know full well the capabilities of polearms," Keith informed Chess as the former got up and the latter scooted back. "I have had to lecture no fewer than two people on their dangers today--" he gestured towards Alberta Takanawa "--including Yours Truly, who nearly walked straight into it because she was not paying attention." Unfortunately for Alberta, Keith used the Force to project his voice with crystal clarity, not that he needed to, and it was impossible for the camera crews on either side to ignore said voice. She should not have left her cameras on... Using the Force to tap into Chess' real name, he added, "I am surprised the hospital staff has not attended to you yet, Percival."

Keith Allaire let Chess scoot back, away from the admittedly scary sight of the naginata hanging over him, before he got up, in such a manner that said implement of doom went from a forty-five degree angle to perpendicular with the floor (at least in respect to vertical plane, the thing was still slanted across Keith's entire back, thanks to the saya), away from Chess. Moreover, Keith knew full well what Chess was going to say about his rival, but let it slide for now. Still, not exactly endearing...

"I already know full well the capabilities of polearms," Keith informed Chess as the former got up and the latter scooted back. "I have had to lecture no fewer than two people on their dangers today--" he gestured towards Alberta Takanawa "--including Yours Truly, who nearly walked straight into it because she was not paying attention." Unfortunately for Alberta, Keith used the Force to project his voice with crystal clarity, not that he needed to, and it was impossible for the camera crews on either side to ignore said voice. She should not have left her cameras on... Using the Force to tap into Chess' real name, he added, "I am surprised the hospital staff has not attended to you yet, Percival."

Alberta's reaction turned to one of horror, as she realized the cameras were, in fact, capturing every moment of this embarassing escapade. Awkwardly turning to the lead camera, she squeamishly asked the man operating it, "Kyle, we can edit it this out, yes?" To that, the cameraman known as Kyle simply shrugged and said, "Well, depends. Am I on live feed or not?"

Alberta's face narrowed to a sharp frown, as she walked up to Kyle and got into his face, saying, "Don't get smart with me. I will rip your head off and wipe the floor with it unless you tell me the truth!" She then pursed her index and middle fingers into a tight group, and delivered a firm pressed poke against Kyle's head--a moved that Tommy would recognize as a very offensive New Dornalian gesture. Kyle replied angrily, "Look, Ms. Takanawa, I don't fucking know off the top of my head. Hold on."

Looking to the camera, he then said, "Sorry, it's on live feed. Kinda forgot to turn it off, considering its newstime and all." To that, Alberta then smiled and said to the Camera, "Harsh words, from Knight Allaire. This just in though, PNN has learned that Chess Headman's real name is in fact Percival!" Walking back to Keith as if nothing had happened, she then asked, trying to maintain a sense of composure as she experienced a sudden urge to try and wipe the floor with Keith, "How did you know that, Knight?"

To that, Chess then replied, "I'd like to know the same thing! Only my parents call me Percival. And ONLY them. Even my brothers and sisters call me Chess. And for that matter, Ms. Takanawa, the fact my real name is Percival is common knowledge; it's just that everybody knows me better as Chess!"

Alberta glared at Chess, but before anything could happen, Tommy decided to step in. He then said, "Okay. Ladies, gentlemen, I am Thomas Park, Colonel Allaire's attorney, and my client is clearly becoming uncomfortable with this line of questioning. I'd like you to please either calm down, or leave." To that, Alberta replied, "I'm in the middle of something here, can it wait Mr. Park?"

"Well, I cannot say that I would mind a vacation from the Masakis, if that is what you meant," John replied to Daniel. Then, the ramifications of being around Keith for any length of time hit John, and he gulped. Trying to reassure himself about the consequences of what he might have just gotten himself into, he added, "But there is only one of him, and there are many Masakis looking for any excuse to beat me out of the family..."
I smiled, pretending to ignore John's sudden fear of Keith Allaire. "Well, as far as I am aware, the 'many' Masakis happens to be Katrina, Riley and Anakin. The rest of us don't care what you do or say. We're Masakis, not Palpatines. I would say you'd do well if given over to Keith for a while. Maybe I'll ask him."

Taylor looked like he was about to cry.

Alberta's reaction turned to one of horror, as she realized the cameras were, in fact, capturing every moment of this embarassing escapade. Awkwardly turning to the lead camera, she squeamishly asked the man operating it, "Kyle, we can edit it this out, yes?" To that, the cameraman known as Kyle simply shrugged and said, "Well, depends. Am I on live feed or not?"

Alberta's face narrowed to a sharp frown, as she walked up to Kyle and got into his face, saying, "Don't get smart with me. I will rip your head off and wipe the floor with it unless you tell me the truth!" She then pursed her index and middle fingers into a tight group, and delivered a firm pressed poke against Kyle's head--a moved that Tommy would recognize as a very offensive New Dornalian gesture. Kyle replied angrily, "Look, Ms. Takanawa, I don't fucking know off the top of my head. Hold on."

Looking to the camera, he then said, "Sorry, it's on live feed. Kinda forgot to turn it off, considering its newstime and all." To that, Alberta then smiled and said to the Camera, "Harsh words, from Knight Allaire. This just in though, PNN has learned that Chess Headman's real name is in fact Percival!" Walking back to Keith as if nothing had happened, she then asked, trying to maintain a sense of composure as she experienced a sudden urge to try and wipe the floor with Keith, "How did you know that, Knight?"

To that, Chess then replied, "I'd like to know the same thing! Only my parents call me Percival. And ONLY them. Even my brothers and sisters call me Chess. And for that matter, Ms. Takanawa, the fact my real name is Percival is common knowledge; it's just that everybody knows me better as Chess!"

Alberta glared at Chess, but before anything could happen, Tommy decided to step in. He then said, "Okay. Ladies, gentlemen, I am Thomas Park, Colonel Allaire's attorney, and my client is clearly becoming uncomfortable with this line of questioning. I'd like you to please either calm down, or leave." To that, Alberta replied, "I'm in the middle of something here, can it wait Mr. Park?"

"Me? Uncomfortable? No..." Keith cast his gaze upon Tommy for a brief second. "I can deal with this..."

Unfortunately for Alberta, Keith sensed her 'urge to try and wipe the floor with Keith,' and he was not all that happy about it. Not to mention that she had made terroristic threats against her own cameraman. He decided to calmly point this out, and he hoped Kyle had left the live feed on.

"Miss Takanawa, your violent threats against your own cameraman must call into question your ability to perform your profession without shooting up Los Angeles in the process." Though Keith's voice was level calm, he fixed his gaze o' doom upon her, staring her down as his words came out. "Now, I must ask you, and you only, to leave. Your news crew may stay, for their own protection of course, until you have a chance to calm down."

He looked at Chess for a split second before turning back to Alberta. "Sorry, Mr. Headmann, I need to deal with this one..."

I smiled, pretending to ignore John's sudden fear of Keith Allaire. "Well, as far as I am aware, the 'many' Masakis happens to be Katrina, Riley and Anakin. The rest of us don't care what you do or say. We're Masakis, not Palpatines. I would say you'd do well if given over to Keith for a while. Maybe I'll ask him."

Taylor looked like he was about to cry.

"At least when Keith Allaire pwns you, he has a good reason for doing it. Unlike THOSE THREE. And the rest of the family defending them on a regular basis. No wonder I do not think I am a Masaki!"

Turning to Taylor, he added, "I am terribly sorry. I do not know how you were cursed with such a horrible family."

"Me? Uncomfortable? No..." Keith cast his gaze upon Tommy for a brief second. "I can deal with this..."

Unfortunately for Alberta, Keith sensed her 'urge to try and wipe the floor with Keith,' and he was not all that happy about it. Not to mention that she had made terroristic threats against her own cameraman. He decided to calmly point this out, and he hoped Kyle had left the live feed on.

"Miss Takanawa, your violent threats against your own cameraman must call into question your ability to perform your profession without shooting up Los Angeles in the process." Though Keith's voice was level calm, he fixed his gaze o' doom upon her, staring her down as his words came out. "Now, I must ask you, and you only, to leave. Your news crew may stay, for their own protection of course, until you have a chance to calm down."

He looked at Chess for a split second before turning back to Alberta. "Sorry, Mr. Headmann, I need to deal with this one..."


Alberta then walked up to the camera, and flipped it off, killing the feed from PNN's cameras. Chess, meanwhile, motioned for his men to keep rolling, to capture the humiliation of Alberta on film. Tommy just stepped back, sighing as he got behind the temporary podium for cover.

Putting her hands aggressively on her hips, she got into Keith's face, eventually pulling out her Mauser C/96 to drive the point home.

Sternly, and with all the imperiousness he might expect from Katrina Masaki, she simply said, "Listen, you worthless honkey Bruce Lee wannabe. This is my town. Do not tell me what to do in my town, on my Goddamn airwaves. I have the mike, I am in command. You may lead soldiers here, but in MY town, I am the Queen Bitch of the Universe, and I will brook no bullshit from some self-important poltroon who thinks he's the Goddamn World because he has a big knife to compensate for his small dick. Comprende, cocksucker?" To cap the point, she did the Poke at Keith's Forehead.

Chess then whispered quietly to the camera that poked its way into his face, "You have just seen Alberta Takanawa of PNN News experience a major meltdown. More at 11." Tommy, meanwhile, wondered if Keith could afford all this.

Alberta then walked up to the camera, and flipped it off, killing the feed from PNN's cameras. Chess, meanwhile, motioned for his men to keep rolling, to capture the humiliation of Alberta on film. Tommy just stepped back, sighing as he got behind the temporary podium for cover.

Putting her hands aggressively on her hips, she got into Keith's face, eventually pulling out her Mauser C/96 to drive the point home.

Sternly, and with all the imperiousness he might expect from Katrina Masaki, she simply said, "Listen, you worthless honkey Bruce Lee wannabe. This is my town. Do not tell me what to do in my town, on my Goddamn airwaves. I have the mike, I am in command. You may lead soldiers here, but in MY town, I am the Queen Bitch of the Universe, and I will brook no bullshit from some self-important poltroon who thinks he's the Goddamn World because he has a big knife to compensate for his small dick. Comprende, cocksucker?" To cap the point, she did the Poke at Keith's Forehead.

Chess then whispered quietly to the camera that poked its way into his face, "You have just seen Alberta Takanawa of PNN News experience a major meltdown. More at 11." Tommy, meanwhile, wondered if Keith could afford all this.

The sound of phrik alloy scraping wood filled the room for a brief half-second, as Keith reached back and drew his naginata. The thing was big enough to generate its own breeze as it moved through (or cut?) the air; said breeze blasted Alberta in her face. The newly minted Jedi Knight took a couple of steps back to allow himself some room, filling the void with the spear to prevent Alberta from simply advancing on him. And he pointed the thing squarely on her Mauser, staring Teh Queen Bitch down the whole time.

"No, you are not in command here. Not if you actively seek to injure those whom you would interview. Drop the gun. Now."

Meanwhile, Voices in Tommy's Head reappeared. Yes, Keith knew he didn't like it, and he had respected that since Tommy had brought it up. But the fact of the matter was that now, Keith couldn't risk diverting his attention from Alberta, and Tommy would just have to understand that...just this once. How many billable hours would pressing the appropriate charges against THIS ONE cost?

The sound of phrik alloy scraping wood filled the room for a brief half-second, as Keith reached back and drew his naginata. The thing was big enough to generate its own breeze as it moved through (or cut?) the air; said breeze blasted Alberta in her face. The newly minted Jedi Knight took a couple of steps back to allow himself some room, filling the void with the spear to prevent Alberta from simply advancing on him. And he pointed the thing squarely on her Mauser, staring Teh Queen Bitch down the whole time.

"No, you are not in command here. Not if you actively seek to injure those whom you would interview. Drop the gun. Now."

Meanwhile, Voices in Tommy's Head reappeared. Yes, Keith knew he didn't like it, and he had respected that since Tommy had brought it up. But the fact of the matter was that now, Keith couldn't risk diverting his attention from Alberta, and Tommy would just have to understand that...just this once. How many billable hours would pressing the appropriate charges against THIS ONE cost?

Tommy sighed, and said to Keith, "Goddamnit Keith! I told you not to do that! And for this one, well, I say this one looks more like prosecution. I suppose I can do that, I've mostly done defense beforehand. Of course, how much money you got?"

Alberta then muttered, "Damn lawyers" under her breath, then leveled the gun at Keith's head, and cocked it, saying, "This is about, oh, ten shots of forty-five caliber ammunition. You swing that Penis Compensator, you get some new assholes in your head."

Chess, doing a quiet play by play of the situation, said simply, "We now have what looks like a Mexican Standoff in the Lobby of UCLA Medical Center. Alberta Takanawa of PNN and Colonel Keith Allaire are now at each other's throats, the Colonel not wanting any of this and Takanawa all after a story she's willing to kill to get. This is Chess--Not Percival--Headman live on the scene."

Tommy sighed, and said to Keith, "Goddamnit Keith! I told you not to do that! And for this one, well, I say this one looks more like prosecution. I suppose I can do that, I've mostly done defense beforehand. Of course, how much money you got?"

Alberta then muttered, "Damn lawyers" under her breath, then leveled the gun at Keith's head, and cocked it, saying, "This is about, oh, ten shots of forty-five caliber ammunition. You swing that Penis Compensator, you get some new assholes in your head."

Chess, doing a quiet play by play of the situation, said simply, "We now have what looks like a Mexican Standoff in the Lobby of UCLA Medical Center. Alberta Takanawa of PNN and Colonel Keith Allaire are now at each other's throats, the Colonel not wanting any of this and Takanawa all after a story she's willing to kill to get. This is Chess--Not Percival--Headman live on the scene."

Keith ignored Chess' coverage for now, and deferred answering Tommy's question until this matter was resolved. Instead, he swung his spear such that its shaft stood between Alberta's gun and Keith's head--kind of like a defensive lightsaber stance.

"I told you to drop the gun." Keith's glare at Alberta hardened even more...

Keith ignored Chess' coverage for now, and deferred answering Tommy's question until this matter was resolved. Instead, he swung his spear such that its shaft stood between Alberta's gun and Keith's head--kind of like a defensive lightsaber stance.

"I told you to drop the gun." Keith's glare at Alberta hardened even more...

Alberta quaked as she saw the naginata swing forth at her and the man's glare hardened. Yet she refused to surrender. No man had stopped her from becoming head anchor, and like hell was she going to prevent somebody from getting her way because he had a "dumb stick" between his legs. She stiffened, and met Keith's glare with one just as ferocious.

Then, Kyle, who had gotten some furikake popcorn from the machine, said, "Umm...ma'am, there's police outside."

Alberta also noticed the crowd of hospital staff surrounding the scene, looking at the event. Now, she was getting nervous.....it was starting to look like some nightmare version of Dog Day Afternoon. Only with a stupid newsman in lieu of Al Pacino's stupid bankrobber.

Then, she made one mistake. Her trigger discipline got sloppy, and she accidentally hit the trigger.....

Alberta quaked as she saw the naginata swing forth at her and the man's glare hardened. Yet she refused to surrender. No man had stopped her from becoming head anchor, and like hell was she going to prevent somebody from getting her way because he had a "dumb stick" between his legs. She stiffened, and met Keith's glare with one just as ferocious.

Then, Kyle, who had gotten some furikake popcorn from the machine, said, "Umm...ma'am, there's police outside."

Alberta also noticed the crowd of hospital staff surrounding the scene, looking at the event. Now, she was getting nervous.....it was starting to look like some nightmare version of Dog Day Afternoon. Only with a stupid newsman in lieu of Al Pacino's stupid bankrobber.

Then, she made one mistake. Her trigger discipline got sloppy, and she accidentally hit the trigger.....

Keith moved with such speed that even his seventy-seven pound weapon became a blur. The only thing Chess' cameras would capture about what had become of that bullet was audio of it pinging harmlessly off of the spear, and smacking harmlessly into the ceiling. Though Keith could sense the discharge had been accidental, he nevertheless decided he needed to disarm her, lest her mental state continue to deteriorate. About three-hundredths of a second after said bullet was deflected, Keith swung the the inside of his "Penis Compensator's" blade straight at Queen Bitch's gun, seeking to cleave it in two. Unfortunately, it meant a goodly chunk of her fingers would come off with it, but that was unavoidable, and this was occurring in the middle of the hospital lobby after all...

Keith moved with such speed that even his seventy-seven pound weapon became a blur. The only thing Chess' cameras would capture about what had become of that bullet was audio of it pinging harmlessly off of the spear, and smacking harmlessly into the ceiling. Though Keith could sense the discharge had been accidental, he nevertheless decided he needed to disarm her, lest her mental state continue to deteriorate. About three-hundredths of a second after said bullet was deflected, Keith swung the the inside of his "Penis Compensator's" blade straight at Queen Bitch's gun, seeking to cleave it in two. Unfortunately, it meant a goodly chunk of her fingers would come off with it, but that was unavoidable, and this was occurring in the middle of the hospital lobby after all...

"GYAAAH!"

With a scream, Alberta's right hand suddenly lost the halves of most of its digits, as her beloved Shansi Mauser fell to the ground in twain. Holding her hand in pain, she cursed in pain, "Motherfucker!" as she stumbled to the nurses, saying, "Gimme some fucking help here! Please!" The nurses, amused by what had occurred so far, rushed to help the wayward newswoman to the emergency ward, as they gathered up the remnants of her fingers and hospital security followed to prevent any trouble from further breaking out.

Tommy then sighed, and put his head in his hands, saying, "Keith, you got anything to keep the mental ouchies away? Cause I'm feeling a lot of them."

"What the...?" I heard that shot. "Taylor?"

He nodded. "Let's go."

Four pops of teleportation suddenly sounded in the lobby as the Masaki Clan arrived an instant after the gunshot.

"What just happened here?" I asked. Then I noticed the blood...

"You could have just dropped the gun," Knight Allaire reminded the Queen Bitch calmly, as she sought medical help. He looked at his spear for a minute, impressed that it did not show any evidence of a dent from that bullet. Jacob had done his job well. Keith produced a handkerchief from his pocket and quickly wiped Alberta's blood off before resheathing it. Then he realized that some of her blood had splattered on his clothes and sighed. "I cannot keep up staining clothes like this..."

Turning to Tommy, he answered, "No, I am sorry, first the fangirls, then the media...remind me not to visit the Los Angeles area again..."

And then the Masakis appeared, oh, yes. Naturally, they wanted to know where the gunshot had come from and all that. Keith replied to them, as if discussing nothing more than the weather, "Apparently, this one decided to ignore my warning that violence in the name of 'scooping' would not get her the interview. She attempted to extort an interview of me by brandishing a gun instead, and when I still did not yield, she got nervous and fired. I sense that the discharge was unintentional, however. Whether the same could be said had she fired thirty seconds later...I am unsure."

"What the...?" I heard that shot. "Taylor?"

He nodded. "Let's go."

Four pops of teleportation suddenly sounded in the lobby as the Masaki Clan arrived an instant after the gunshot.

"What just happened here?" I asked. Then I noticed the blood...

One of the nurses said, "Alberta Takanawa from People's News Net decided to get a story from Knight Alliare. But, when he nearly hit her with the blade and chastised her, she got all, like, uppity. I mean real uppity. We're talking about pull out a gun uppity. She even hit Chess Headman down there."

The nurse pointed to Chess, who by now got back up and said, "Right. I think I'm done here. I know when the situation is too hot." Motioning to the camera crew, he then said, "Colonel Alliaire, thanks for demonstrating that violence, does not in fact, pay." Turning to the Camera, he then said, "This has been Chess Headman, for NDBC News. Back to you, Tom." He then began filing out, apologizing to the hospital staff he had knocked over when he ran in....

OOC: Hit the post button too early, this was supposed to be in my earlier post but it is too late for that now.

---------

Meanwhile, John noticed his new location, in the hospital lobby. Taylor still held him practically by the scruff of his neck. Yes, dealing with the gunshot was important. No, the Masakis had not absorbed his point of view in the two or three minutes between the time he had last spoken and the time the gunshot was fired. Being ignored after the gunshot was fired, he could understand. But the silence from before said gunshot was fired, well, he just had to make his opinion known about that.

Without interrupting anything, of course. This is where Force Telepathy came in...

Directing his thoughts at Taylor and Daniel both, young John reiterated,

I

AM

NOT

A

MASAKI!

"Sheesh. First the fangirls, now the media. What's next?" Jacob asked, echoing Keith as he shook his head.

Then John shouted his current stance concerning his relationship with us through the Force. Taylor realized he carried with him when they 'ported. "Oh, sorry, John."

"You know, might as well make the best of it." I said, reminding Taylor of our little talk from before. "Besides, you and Jacob still need to go and find Izumi-sensei."

Taylor grimaced. "Fine. As his adopted father, I'll do it."

He went up to Keith, still holding the kid. "Colonel, this kid seems to want a place to stay away from the Masaki Clan. Much as I don't want to, I will grant his request. Besides, someone needs to look after him while Jacob and I search for our old teacher. Think you can handle him?"

Turning to Tommy, he answered, "No, I am sorry, first the fangirls, then the media...remind me not to visit the Los Angeles area again..."

Tommy then patted his hand on Keith's shoulder and said to both the Masakis and the Colonel, "Guys, I gotta tell you. This usually doesn't happen in my town. Really. I am not joking." He then sighed and said, "I guess that's life for ya. At least Chess left. He didn't want anything more to do with this."

Patting his back, Tommy then said, "Why don't we visit a more serene spot? I know a few spots in LA where the media and crazed weeaboos won't pull out random firepower."

Chess then turned around and said, the cameras not on, "Oh, hey. Colonel Allaire, Mr. Park. I'd like to help foot the inevitable legal expenses for this and offer my tapes as evidence. Knowing Alberta, she'll probably distort the truth like you wouldn't believe. Though thankfully, my cameras got everything."

"Sheesh. First the fangirls, now the media. What's next?" Jacob asked, echoing Keith as he shook his head.

Then John shouted his current stance concerning his relationship with us through the Force. Taylor realized he carried with him when they 'ported. "Oh, sorry, John."

"You know, might as well make the best of it." I said, reminding Taylor of our little talk from before. "Besides, you and Jacob still need to go and find Izumi-sensei."

Taylor grimaced. "Fine. As his adopted father, I'll do it."

He went up to Keith, still holding the kid. "Colonel, this kid seems to want a place to stay away from the Masaki Clan. Much as I don't want to, I will grant his request. Besides, someone needs to look after him while Jacob and I search for our old teacher. Think you can handle him?"

"Perhaps," Keith answered calmly, though he had to admit that he wondered what raising a kid was like. Taylor had the "I give up" look written all over his face. "I will need to speak to the Council first, as I was going to request permission for some...extracurricular learning of my own."

Meanwhile, John had to really wonder what he had just gotten himself into. But only Darth Ebolus could be worse than Anakin Skywa--er, Masaki...

Tommy then patted his hand on Keith's shoulder and said to both the Masakis and the Colonel, "Guys, I gotta tell you. This usually doesn't happen in my town. Really. I am not joking." He then sighed and said, "I guess that's life for ya. At least Chess left. He didn't want anything more to do with this."

Patting his back, Tommy then said, "Why don't we visit a more serene spot? I know a few spots in LA where the media and crazed weeaboos won't pull out random firepower."

Chess then turned around and said, the cameras not on, "Oh, hey. Colonel Allaire, Mr. Park. I'd like to help foot the inevitable legal expenses for this and offer my tapes as evidence. Knowing Alberta, she'll probably distort the truth like you wouldn't believe. Though thankfully, my cameras got everything."

"Hello, there, Mr. Headman." Keith smiled. "I suppose you are also looking for an exclusive interview, too. Well, as you are not the one who tried to point the gun at me...I do not advocate Violence for Scooping and when I told her such, she went a little off the deep end. Perhaps whatever place Tommy here has in mind would make a good place for such an interview?"

Meanwhile, he turned his attention to Tommy... "Well, I should certainly hope that whatever place you do have in mind has Peace and Quiet after this. Though at least you can stop worrying about how your Billing Department is going to work things out." He gave Tommy a wry smile.

"Perhaps," Keith answered calmly, though he had to admit that he wondered what raising a kid was like. Taylor had the "I give up" look written all over his face. "I will need to speak to the Council first, as I was going to request permission for some...extracurricular learning of my own."

Meanwhile, John had to really wonder what he had just gotten himself into. But only Darth Ebolus could be worse than Anakin Skywa--er, Masaki...
"Very well." Taylor sighed. "You want me to leave him with you now or after you speak with the Council?"

"Very well." Taylor sighed. "You want me to leave him with you now or after you speak with the Council?"

Keith looked at Daniel. "Daniel, how quickly can you get a Holoconnection with the Council set up?" Keith then nodded back to Taylor, and added, "Depends on Daniel's response to aforesaid question..."

Keith looked at Daniel. "Daniel, how quickly can you get a Holoconnection with the Council set up?" Keith then nodded back to Taylor, and added, "Depends on Daniel's response to aforesaid question..."
"Not here." I pointed out. "Someplace more secure..."

"Not here." I pointed out. "Someplace more secure..."

"The place that Tommy has in mind?" Keith suggested. Turning to Tommy, he added, "Make it a secluded one."

"The place that Tommy has in mind?" Keith suggested. Turning to Tommy, he added, "Make it a secluded one."

Tommy then smiled and said, "No problemo. Good thing I brought my Party Wagon. You'll love the Korean Friendship Bell, lads. Nice place by the sea, nobody will bother us right now. Besides, its about brotherhood and stuff. Something we all need right now."

Chess then said to Keith, with a shrug, "Well, I was going to just leave it at the legal support. I mean sheesh. I know when to cut my losses. Not like Alberta. She did that even in Journalism School..." with a shudder, he composed himself and said "I suppose I can secure one. Though I might not relish this as much as I would have beforehand."

After asking the hospital staff for a side entrance, Tommy sneaked the party through to awaiting car, which was of all things.....a minivan. Yes, a minvan. One that could hold the crew and such, but a minivan nonetheless. Tommy shrugged and said, "Hey, it gets me from point A to Point B, and it gets the heat off of me. I mean, nobody cares about a minivan, right?"

He then opened the doors and got in the driver's seat, saying, "Aight. Let's go."

The crazed, "Penis-Compensator" bearing Jedi, as Alberta had such eloquently put it before her unfortunate hospitalization, simply nodded to Chess' reservations about the interview. "Hey, do not blame yourself for her insanity. I warned her that violence meant no interview, no scoop..."

Keith did not mind the minivan, though he did need to take off his saya and shove it alongside the side doors. He would rather have gone in a speeder, but seeing as how primitive New Dornalia's transportation infrastructure was...

Meanwhile, John awaited the upcoming Jedi Council Meeting with a bit of nervousness. He had managed to stick himself between a rock and a hard place; the choice between Keith Allaire and Anakin Masaki was not an appealing one. But Anakin Masaki came in more or less duplicate Masaki flavors. Katrina and Riley among them. He still did not understand why Anakin Skywalker was a forbidden comparison. From what he had studied of Skywalker, Anakin Masaki seemed like an exact personality match.

And with that, after the rest of the Masakis jumped in, they sped off into LA Traffic...

OOC: ND, if you could please RP the arrival? CW indicates he is "elsewhere on the internet...";)

The crazed, "Penis-Compensator" bearing Jedi, as Alberta had such eloquently put it before her unfortunate hospitalization, simply nodded to Chess' reservations about the interview. "Hey, do not blame yourself for her insanity. I warned her that violence meant no interview, no scoop..."

Keith did not mind the minivan, though he did need to take off his saya and shove it alongside the side doors. He would rather have gone in a speeder, but seeing as how primitive New Dornalia's transportation infrastructure was...

OOC: ND, if you could please RP the arrival? CW indicates he is "elsewhere on the internet...";)

With that, Tommy and the gang drove about LA traffic. Strangely enough, to get from UCLA Medical to Long Beach, where the Bell was, wasn't too bad. Downtown was as nasty as usual, but around Long Beach the roads cleared up somewhat. Keith could see men on hovercycles today. Locally made Triumph Speeders, Harley Davidson Cruiser Speeders, Coredian Speederbikes decked in "Ricer" colors, Eldar-Style Gravbikes, etc. were out on parade, as Tommy glibly commented, "Hell. Looks like everybody and his cousin with a motorbikes' out for a drive. It is a nice day, eh? We don't all have vehicles with wheels on 'em. Nothing in City and County ordinances forbids motorbikes, good thing. Damn politicians want to ban them though. Something about how they're a safety risk."

Chess merely commented, "Glad I got my Triumph Sport Superb before the shit started. Nice little Eurospeederbike."

As this convo went on, Tommy then drove past Ft. MacArthur, resplendent in Dornalian military splendor. Then, he drove to the parking lot in front of the bell. It was secluded, fortunately. He then threw the vehicle in park and then turned it off. Opening the doors, Tommy got out and said, breathing in the air, "AH! Breathe that sea breeze! Gotta love that Pacific Air.....and there's our bell. Finest in Korean craftsmanship." Walking towards what looked like a Korean temple section, there was, sure enough, a Korean Temple Bell. However, as Tommy was quick to point out, "The bell's called the Friendship Bell because before the Apocalypse, the Koreans gave it to the Old USA as a gift of their alliance sometime in 1976 in commemoration of that nation's 200th birthday." Leading the group to a set of park benches, he then said, "Right. Let's get this started."

Chess then motioned to his camera crew to get set up, saying, "Thanks, Colonel. And I do apologize for the mess."

Now that all present were in a secure area, I began dialing the connection for the Jedi Council, issuing a Meeting Request up the line. Their aides report that they'll be along presently...

"How long did they say before they are finished with the bureaucracy?" Colonel Allaire asked Daniel, wishing to get his pending business over with. He thought about what to say, as he had an...unusual request planned.

OOC: CW, if you would start the meeting rather than one-line it, I would have appreciated it. You could have done that with your most recent post; I do not want to fall into the trap of one-lining posts because every little word has to be micromanaged...

"About ten minutes or so." I shrugged.

Ten minutes later, the Council was called to meeting by Master Elendil.

"Master Masaki? What is it that you wish of the Council?"

I smiled. "I would like to formally induce Colonel Allaire into the ranks of Jedi Knight. As you know, he knocked me out for a week with a powerful Ice technique."

Master Elendil quirked a smile. "I see. I believe we can do that."

The Council members stood up and formed a circle around Knight Allaire. I took my spot as well. Then as one, we ignited our lightsabers. Master Elendil then began to speak in the ancient language of Elvish, which is often used for such occasions. The translation is as follows:

"We are all Jedi. The Force speaks through us. Through our actions, the Force proclaims itself and what is real. Today we are here to acknowledge what the Force has proclaimed. Step forward, Padawan."

Keith Allaire, Jedi Padawan, suddenly realized that he had not packed Jedi robes for his little trip to Somalia. Which meant that he did not have them here; they were within a military installation in Evil Woody Thoughts. Which meant that the somewhat-presentable-yet-non-traditional attire of nice khaki pants with polo shirt would have to do.

Oops.

I do hope that the Council realizes that packing a Jedi robe would have attracted...certain unwanted attention in Somalia. Therefore, it is seven hundred light-years away, Keith confessed to Daniel via Force Telepathy. Had he had a CLEAN military uniform, that might have sufficed, as such was his normal attire around the Temple, but that had the slight problem of dried blood splattered all over it.

Outwardly, however, such embarrassment did not show itself. He stepped forward as instructed, tapping into the Force itself for a very rough translation of the rarely-spoken Elvish language...

Shush. Knight now, talk later. I chided lightly.

"Kneel."

Keith kneeled.

"Colonel Keith Allaire, by right of the Council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee, Jedi Knight of the Order." Master Elendil continued as his lightsaber 'tapped' one shoulder then the other.

"Take up your lightsaber, Keith Allaire, Jedi Knight." I recited, and we the Masters raised our blades in salute. "Let us recite the Code together."

"There is no emotion, there is peace."

"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge."

"There is no passion, there is serenity."

"There is no chaos, there is harmony."

"There is no death, there is the Force."

"And may the Force be with you, always." Master Elendil concluded the ceremony.

There it is. The Knighting Ceremony. No pomp and circumstance. Just a simple ritual of knighthood.

Thusly did Keith Allaire officially pass into Knighthood. When the time came to draw his lightsaber, as he had one captured from his involvement in the bloody Woodian Civil War, and had still followed the Jedi custom of building his own, he selected the one made by his own hand.

Yet, he had not asked Daniel Masaki to arrange a Jedi Council meeting for simple ceremony, especially not when he had a fairly strong distaste for ceremony, especially formal ceremony, in general. Had it not been for his other business with the Council, Keith would have simply waited to do it in person, not only for the fact that such ceremony was usually done in person, but that it would have afforded him the chance to grab his Jedi robes in a brief stopover in his home country, or otherwise procure new such robes.

As it was, his Master currently sat on the Council, and having said little thus far, now sensed his apprentice's feelings...even over a holographic conference. Jedi Politicians were like that sometimes, especially old ones. "Something more to say? A request, have you?"

Knight Allaire bowed his head in reply, waiting for the Council's go-ahead to express such request; rare was it that Master Whitfield saw his apprentice take on this degree of formality.

After receiving such permission to speak, the newly minted Jedi Knight opened his mouth. He had already told Daniel to actually fight next time, but there was something else. "I wish to continue my training, but the Force leads me down a path that, to the best of my knowledge, this Order is not equipped to handle."

Outwardly, silence followed. However, the Force had a way of conveying Keith's thoughts (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10033388&postcount=304), or perhaps more accurately flashbacks, along with the inevitable sense of destiny sprinkled in, to All Those Concerned.

Keith remembered The Event well. He had been less than a hundred nautical miles from The Eruption, caused by a single terrifying tectonic detonation, all ordered by a certain Sith Lord whom his Master later killed. Had he been on land instead of upon a ship, he would have been killed, buried under either lava flows or mudflows.

"I request the permission of this Order to study Geology outside of its own classes, for they do not exist," Keith finally spoke again. "Master Whitfield has taught me well, but the ability to generate heat and pressure are only prerequisites to where my destiny takes me. I am Geokinetic, and Daniel Masaki saw a bit of that during my Jedi Trial; however, I lack the knowledge to even partially utilize that ability. I wish to, with this Council's blessings, study Geology at the postgraduate level at the University of White Diamond, whereupon I meditate on my studies with the Force. Much as Luke Skywalker had to learn Jedi teachings repressed by the Empire, I must study teachings for which there is currently no Master to instruct me."

It really didn't take long for the Council to deliberate on the matter. After all, some Jedi happen to have PhDs in various subjects. Still, it did make me raise an eyebrow in interest at how much stronger Keith would get if he gets this training.

"We will allow you to pursue your studies abroad. We have very few Knights versed in geokinesis." Master Elendil said.

"Just one more thing, Masters." Taylor spoke up. "Young John here needs a caretaker for a while while my brother and I search for our old teacher. We believe Keith is the one, although one wonders if he can manage his learnings while taking care of a kid like him."

"I see." King Sarinon nodded. "What say you, Knight Allaire?"

"If I will be allowed to take John to White Diamond with me, taking care of him should not be a major problem. I do not foresee any bureaucratic entry difficulties on the Woodian end, as both of us hold Woodian citizenship. John, what say you?"

The seven-year-old boy gulped, his attention now demanded by the Council meeting. He really had to wonder what he was getting into. But the only fate worse than being with Anakin Skywalker...er, Masaki... for one minute was being in the hands of a Sith for thirty seconds...

He stepped forward and quietly nodded his assent. Left unasked, however, was the question of how exactly he was to proceed in his Academy training whilst away...

Until, that is, Knight Allaire asked the question for him. "What is Standard Operating Procedure regarding the Academy training of younglings whilst they are outside of Coredia for prolonged periods of time?"

Taylor's face fell as John nodded his assent at going with Keith, but he knew it would be necessary. He wished the kid could go with him, but he felt it may be dangerous...

"Distance learning." Master Blayden, the Academy Headmaster, said. "His teachers can be instructed to send him lessons through the Holonet. It's been proven useful at times."

Keith and John both nodded at Master Blayden's answer. "I also know of a few places where John can receive personal martial arts training, including teras kasi," Keith added. "John will not fall behind in combat training, of that I can assure you."

John gulped. He had heard the occasional rumor about Woodian Combat Training Methods, and it reminded him of his reservations concerning going with Keith. However, any such training might prove useful against Anakin, should he decide to be the usual arrogant bully upon John's return...

John further sensed Taylor's reluctance to let go, but thought it best not to say anything.

"Very well. John, give your teachers your Holonet address and we'll work everything out from there." Master Elendil addressed the boy directly. "Will there be anything else?"

Both Keith and John bowed their heads in reply. "We have nothing further."

At least for the Council, anyway. Daniel Masaki...now that was another story, at least from Keith's point of view. After waiting for the meeting to adjourn, and thus to be released from decorum, Keith glared at Daniel for less than a brief second, just enough to get his attention. "And next time, do actually fight, instead of running away off the field of battle and doing your opponent's work for you," he said, in a voice that would suggest to bystanders (including the rest of the Masakis present) that it was merely a passing comment.

Daniel, however, had actually been there. He knew otherwise...

Both Keith and John bowed their heads in reply. "We have nothing further."
"Very well. May the Force be with you." Master Elendil said and shut off the holoprojectors.

At least for the Council, anyway. Daniel Masaki...now that was another story, at least from Keith's point of view. After waiting for the meeting to adjourn, and thus to be released from decorum, Keith glared at Daniel for less than a brief second, just enough to get his attention. "And next time, do actually fight, instead of running away off the field of battle and doing your opponent's work for you," he said, in a voice that would suggest to bystanders (including the rest of the Masakis present) that it was merely a passing comment.

Daniel, however, had actually been there. He knew otherwise...
I winced, knowing that if Allaire was Sith, I'd be dead. "Indeed, Knight Allaire. Indeed."

Keith decided that he had made the point he needed to make, and left the 'secure area' from which the Council meeting had been held. He drifted over to Teh Dornies, who seemed to be enjoying the scenery. He had another little matter of business, more specifically, the interview he said he would grant Chess concerning recent events. Chess Headman received a light tap on the shoulder. "Hello, there. When would you like to do the interview?"

Keith decided that he had made the point he needed to make, and left the 'secure area' from which the Council meeting had been held. He drifted over to Teh Dornies, who seemed to be enjoying the scenery. He had another little matter of business, more specifically, the interview he said he would grant Chess concerning recent events. Chess Headman received a light tap on the shoulder. "Hello, there. When would you like to do the interview?"

Headman and the crew turned around when nudged by Keith, who had just finished his interview with the Jedi Council. A wind blew by, as Chess said, "Yeah, we can start right now, if you want. My crew's ready, as am I." He gestured to his camera crew as he said so, their chatty nature and consumption of sandwiches making the event almost like a picnic. When they heard they were about to go on, the sandwiches were put down and they began working on their gear.

Chess asked simply, "One thing. Lawyer or no lawyer?"

OOC: Worked out on IM by me and EWT. Edited by me for flow and ease of reading.

IC:

Chess proceeded to cough, and level his mike gently at Keith once the crew had set up their equipment.

Keith looked back at Chess, debating the ramifications of having the uppity lawyer there vs. saying something he really should not, namely his earlier scolding of Daniel for 'not fighting.'

Chess shrugged to that statement, merely replying, “Well, it's really up to you. I mean, he is your legal representation."

Tommy then spoke to Chess as he walked up to Keith—in no uncertain terms--"Well, I was a witness at some of these events. So I feel I should be here anywho."

Keith thought to himself, 'problem solved.' "All well and good, but I wish for you to remain silent unless called for. Due to the nature of the interview, such summons must regrettably be of a telepathic nature."

To that, Tommy merely replied, "You're the boss. This is your interview."

Chess looks at Tommy with a slight frown and a concurring, "Yes. It is. It is the Colonel's Interview."

The Colonel nodded, wishing he could give this interview in his military uniform. Alas, it was kind of splattered with dry blood at the moment. "Shoot."

Chess became somewhat concerned that his charge was in a dorky outfit and shrugged as he leveled the mike gently into Keith's general direction to test, and then Chess turned to face the Cameras, which turned on.

"This is Chess Headman, NDBC News. I have here with me an extraordinary man, the subject of quite the rollicking tale over the past few days. He's gone on a trip to Africa, and he's survived the mean streets of Los Angeles. Please welcome, Colonel Keith Allaire of Evil Woody Thoughts." Leveling the mike at Keith he asked, "Tell me Colonel, what was your inspiration for coming to Earth? Did it have to do with your recent Knighthood?"

I *can* change into something else...

Chess got Voices in his head.

Edit out and restart?

Unfortunately for Chess, Keith had sensed his thoughts concerning his attire.

At the sound of voices in his head, Chess stood back, looking around for that sudden voice.

Tommy chimed in with, "He did the voice thing, didn't he? Don't worry, it takes a while to get used to."

Chess merely replied with, "Sure." He then simply told Keith, as he had the cameramen turn off their equipment, "Go ahead and change."

To that, Keith answered, "I will be back in one hour. Enjoy your crew's sandwiches. I apologize for the wait. One question: Class A or battle dress?"

A simple reply of "Whatever you think is best." came out of Chess.

The Colonel was pleased that he had left a Contingency Uniform at the military installation outside of Eheayana, a short seven-minute suborbital flight away. "Chess, you have one of those 'be anywhere on the planet' news shuttles?"

Chess nodded, adding simply, "I can have one here within the hour. Plus, I'll hold them to secrecy, considering the bullshit we've gone through today." He then threw in a perfunctory, but assuring "Hell, even shorter."

"Excellent. I should have done this earlier, given the circumstances. Although..." Keith thought for a moment... "it would have resulted in my Class A's getting bloodsplattered at the hospital today. This is off the record."

"Your secret's safe with me," was the reply from Chess. "Hell I wish I would have thought of that for the Council meeting."

Keith swiped a sandwich from one of the poor cameramen while he waits. The cameraman sighs, and merely borrows another from the cooler. As this happens, Chess makes the call to the shuttle. The shuttle, back at HQ, begins lifting off and moving out quickly.

It arrived within a matter of minutes, landing in the park. The waves from the shuttle agitated the Korean Bell somewhat, to the dismay of park security.

"I will return shortly." Keith nodded to Chess, then glared at the cameraman from whom he swiped his meal before hopping in the shuttle.

Keith flashed his qualifications at the cockpit crew. "Mind if I fly?" The pilot manning the controls shrugged and went, "Whatever dude. Treat her nice, I don't want Accounting to freak out at me again."

"I am more concerned about coaxing speed from her." Keith lifted the things up, and as soon as he was at legal altitude, ignited the afterburners. The pilot noticed he was heading east, and he was in the ionosphere before he even had much of a chance to get settled in.

The pilot, to that, went, "Meh." He sat back down, not doing much else, trying not to trip over. The shuttle itself responded remarkably well. It was in better shape than the one at Mogadishu General Hospital.

He could only shudder as Keith raised full shields.

No sooner did he sit down when, somewhere over the Atlantic, Keith started a rapid descent; the heat of re-entry caused the shuttle's shield to light up like a match. Keith held the throttle steady, waiting for the exact nanosecond to throw it in reverse. The shuttle shuddered as it made reentry. The pilot, meanwhile, held on for dear life, praying to whatever deity he takes stock in. Keith flipped a switch and the poor pilot got thrown into his seatbelt. Even *with* inertial dampening, the thing decelerated at a bit over two gees...

By the time the shuttle descended to five thousand meters or so, Keith slowed down the shuttle enough such that the flames against the shuttlecraft's shield finally start to dissapate, exposing a view of steppe, in between two mountain ranges, below and a city built out of one of the mountains (think Minas Tirith architecture). About a minute and a half later, they are on the ground safely at a military base. Keith looked at the chronometer. "Four minutes, nine seconds. Meh. I could have been faster."

Before the pilot can moan about it, he disappeared to retrieve his uniform. Not ten minutes later, he popped back into existence on the shuttle, taking advantage of teleportation technique, in full Class A's, including the military-issue blazer.

The pilot looked at Keith oddly, merely going, "Jesus, that was fast." The outside environment is somewhat foreign to him as well; he looks about and says, "This the Middle Ages?" referring to the architecture oddly similar to Minas Tirith.

"More appealing than that suburban cookie-cutter sprawl drivel, quiaff?" Keith wasted no time in taking off, either.

The pilot went, "Whatever, man. Let's go." He shrugged, not knowing how to take the comment.

Three minutes and fifty-two seconds later, including the g-forces and intense heat of entry involved, the craft returned to the Korean Bell. Colonel Allaire, in his full military regalia, stepped off to rendezvous with Chess, leaving the pilot to mutter about maintenance expenses.

A waiting Chess asked the Colonel, "Ready?' Colonel Allaire nodded. "Aff. And there better not be anyone around who wants to splatter their blood all over this."

"Relax. There's no one else where who'll do that." Chess smiled, knowing that that is the truth. Especially since its in the middle of the day. Just to be sure though, he flagged down a park security man and told him to keep watch. The man nodded, and kept guard, as Chess asked the question from before. The reply came quickly. The interview went something like this:

"Oh, yes. For some reason, Daniel Masaki did not think I would be able to survive a tourist trip to Somalia. Therefore, he figured it might be a good idea to challenge me to go there. Of course, given his status, I had no reason to believe he would ever voluntarily go there, either."

Chess, somewhat puzzled, asked: "Well, given that Somalia is still a rough and tumble place, I would hardly call it a tourist trip. So, was it a matter of survival then?"

Keith’s reply was equally quick, if somewhat unexpected to Chess. "There is some decent rock climbing to be had there. That said, I packed as if I expected that. When Daniel found me, he wondered why I carried half his bodyweight in ammunition on my back."

Continuing forth, Chess replied with a simple, "I see. So was the duel the reason to come to Somalia, or was it about surviving the locale? There was that Chinese fellow with you last night."

Keith’s response was to the point, much like his other statements. "Daniel's original challenge made it pretty much about surviving the locale. Apparently, he became afraid I might actually like the place, and thus decided to come himself."

To that, Chess chuckled a little, as he continues with, "Well, I see that the Hero, as some fans call him, has a unique sense of humor. Anywho, I heard you and the Chinese demolished a gang?"

A simple, "There are rumors, yes." was the only reply.

"Well, that wasn't what I heard from Civil Patrol."

To that, Tommy, who was by now nervously watching to make sure his client didn’t run his mouth, replied, "Yes. It is true that Allaire participated in the purging of a gang in Somalia, with Chin Tai-Wong. They were targeted see. Long story. It's all in the Civil Patrol report."

To that, Chess said, "As you wish. Anywho, tell me a little more about the duel. Why become a Jedi?"

To that, Keith gave another answer, one relevant to Chess’s career.

"Perhaps you remember covering the Tectonic Detonation on the eleventh of August last year? I was less than a hundred nautical miles from the epicenter. Further thoughts, have you?"

Without missing a beat, Chess replied, "Ah yes. The one that resulted in Dornalian assistance in rebuilding. So you became a Jedi because of that."

Keith’s take on the situation was, "Partially. That, and to learn takedown techniques should any further Sith Bastards show up to commission further such War Crimes."

Nodding, Chess answered with, "Perfectly understandable, Colonel. Perfectly understandable. I understand that you have related the story of the duel to many sources over the past few days; we'll skip that if you wish."

"Thank you, I am quite surprised that actual footage has not surfaced yet, with as often as I have described it." Keith nodded.

"Well, as I understand it, there were not many witnesses at the scene, save for Somali peasants who only saw flashes from a distance and the recovery crews. Not sure footage exists. Anywho, what will you do now as a Jedi?" Chess was rather inquisitive in his tone.

And Keith was rather, as usual, to the point in his. "Postgraduate study in geology at White Diamond University's flagship campus. Also, I will give John Masaki a bit of combat training."

Chess smiled and says, "I wish only the best for Johnny Masaki. I mean, you seem to have your act together. And you did survive the Beverly Center Shootout."

Sternly, Keith said only, "A quick message to the Masaki Oenidan: Please do not do that again."

Chess, nodding, replied with: "A word to the wise indeed." He then continues with: "Question. I know that the Masakis have decided to do a hands off stance to the trial of the Gang of 14. What say you?"

In contrast to his previous statement, Keith seemed to take a slightly different tack here. Though it is certainly not exclusive to his previous statement. "I would rather not be put in the position of 'defending myself' against minors with a future ahead of them completely erased by twenty minutes of crazed insanity. I wish for the Gang of 14 to be shown mercy and rehabilitated."

Chess replied with, "Well, our Juvenile system does emphasize that. But what does that mean for the charges?"

And to that, Keith simply said, "I have yet to decide. However, I have no intention of 'throwing the book' at them. I simply wish for those involved to get the necessary assistance. I will, however, say that I very well may drop them. Now, that PNN anchor, on the other hand..."

Chess winced at the mention of his rival, the now-hospitalized and possibly detained Alberta Takanawa and her unfortunate act. Composing himself, he says, "Yes. Alberta. I would like to remind you that I am fully willing to provide support for legal fees."

Keith laughed. "Mr. Park?”

Tommy shrugs, and says, "I'm willing to accept. Isn't that conflict of interest though?" To that, Chess says, "It's not. It's just helping perform a public service."

Interestingly enough, Keith chimed in with a bit about Woodian law, to possibly reassure his lawyer of the legality of it all. "Surprisingly, in Evil Woody Thoughts, it would be considered legitimate 'speaking fees.' Might still be audited, though. Besides, Chess had reasonable grounds to fear for his own life, so he certainly does have a legitimate interest in this."

"Exactly, Colonel," Chess chimed in. "Problem aside, we assuredly could get those girls the help they need. Word has it their mothers are working to plead insanity, so it seems they're inclined to agree somewhat."

"Yes. I have spoken to one of them, though I prefer to respect her privacy."

Chess, realizing that nothing more would come from that, switched to another subject. He asks, "I see. So, Colonel Allaire, legal matters aside, how was Los Angeles?"

"So much wasted and denuded land, and no transportation infrastructure to handle the needless sprawl." Keith shook his head.

Somewhat surprised, Chess attempted to defend his hometown. "Well, we just entered the modern age. Mayor Ramirez did invest USD$4.5million dollars into upgrading and expanding LA's metro. And, we do have an extensive system of walkways connecting our buildings. Still, we are a car culture." He obviously doesn’t do a good job, for Keith is not impressed.

"Who walks sixty miles? Not everyone has the ability to teleport as I do. A city of this population should consume no more than a tenth of the land area."

Chess shrugged. "Meh. City fathers have some explaining to do, I guess."

"Great Woody City packs three times the population into the area of a single LA suburb...and does without the traffic jams, to boot. I implore Los Angeles metro denizens to try to imagine a commute of less than ten minutes."

To that, Chess winced. He’s only heard one other group talk like that, and that was a bunch of newscasters from New York City. Rather aggressive people who seemed to assert the same opinion of LA being too spread out. Chess tried out a reductio ad absurdum he used on them on Keith.

"'I've been to Great Woody City. It's rather....quaint." As Chess said the word, a tone of mocking could be detected. Keith would probably detect some sort of contempt for tiny cities, possibly ingrained from being used to having so much sprawl. Chess then quickly shifts to, "Anyway. Do you have any words for our viewers?"

"Yes. Do not get so enamored of idol worship that you get yourself into needless trouble."

The interview concluded thusly:

"Truer words have never been spoken. Well, I have one final question for you. What is, in your opinion, the purpose of a Jedi, and what do you think of the People's Acolytes?

"The purpose of a Jedi is to help others. As for the Acolytes...I do not know *that* much about them. I have only met one."

"Well, from what you could tell about him, do they show promise? Do Dornalians show promise, for that matter?"

"To be fair to sane Dornalians, I will not comment. After all, I have been in the news a little too much of late."

"Very well, then. Thank you for your insights, Colonel."

With that, Chess extended his hand to shake Keith's. Keith shook Chess' hand, perhaps a little too hard. The audio equipment caught the sound of knuckles cracking.

Wincing, Chess turned to the camera and said, "This is Chess Headman, for NDBC News. Stay Classy, Los Angeles."

Keith bowed respectfully before walking off to find one Jacob Masaki. His earlier services needed to be properly audited, which would no doubt make a Masaki shudder.

Chess then smiled as he said, "Thanks, Colonel, for putting up with the media one last time. Not sure what the auditors might say about that sandwich, though." Keith chuckled. "Expense it." Chess smiled and said, "As you wish."

Keith bowed respectfully before walking off to find one Jacob Masaki. His earlier services needed to be properly audited, which would no doubt make a Masaki shudder.
One Jacob Masaki was preparing to take leave of the area when he recalled that Keith needed him to face Teh Auditors and decided to hang back and wait for Keith to show up from his interview. Oh, the horrors! Oh, the humanity!

Nah, not really. At least for Jacob. Taylor (and Katrina, for that matter) would be more high-strung about such people. Jacob, however, is actually brave enough to handle Teh Auditors, which certainly has something to say about his characters.

Plus, he always saves the receipts of his purchases. That helps too.

"You finished? How was the interview?" Jacob asked when Keith showed up.

"You can watch it on the news at eleven." Keith smiled at Jacob, knowing that he was in for some fun.

Fortunately, this time, there was no need to swipe Chess Headman's news shuttle, as there wasn't a huge hurry. There was time enough for a quickie teleport to LAX, whereupon they could hitch a ride to Eheayana, the nearest such stronghold of Teh Auditors...

Jacob followed Keith to whereever Auditors lived, which happened to be this location known as Eheayana. At least they aren't in a hurry.

About an hour or so later, they arrived at Eheayana spaceport. While it was evening in LA, here, the sun was in the process of rising; the eastern mountains that the city was built into, and part of it carved out of, cast a long shadow over the entire City of White, which looked a lot like Minas Tirith from the air, spaceport excepted. Well, not all of it was so white anymore; quite a few buildings were still blackened over from the civil war. For whatever reason, Woodians refused to paint them.

About fifteen minutes of public transit later, the two arrived at the gates of an Army base. Colonel Allaire showed the security guard his military ID and prodded Jacob Masaki to do the same.

"State your business," the guard demanded, perhaps a bit more curtly than he should have for a well-respected Colonel wearing his Class A's, accompanied by a member of the Coredian Royal Family. Then again, maybe it was that suspicion of monarchies afoot again...

"We need to consult an auditor," Keith replied. "This naginata was not a gift. I need to reimburse him out of my equipment allowance."

"Aff. Pass." The guard waved the two Jedi through. Colonel Allaire led Jacob to a nondescript office facility, where they were greeted a little more politely than before by a receptionist.

"Good morning, Colonel. Reporting a gift today?"

"Neg. Military procurement of a melee weapon from Jacob Masaki here."

"I see," the receptionist responded, handing both Keith and Jacob some forms to collect information that the auditor would need. "An auditor will be with you shortly. Very shortly."

The forms given to Jacob Masaki asked a few questions that he no doubt would not like. Such as, "Artisan Work: Time required to craft item? Market hourly rate of labor required?"

Oh, yes. And the required notice, printed in bold print, that lying on this form constituted perjury, something that carried a very long prison term...

Woodian Auditors appear to be quite strict. Jacob thought as he began filling out the paperwork.

Occupation? Master Alchemist.
Time required to craft item? 12 hours.
Market hourly rate of labor required? Jacob is a Master Alchemist. Although he rarely likes to get paid (and his personal coffers means he never has to), when he does, he gets a Master Alchemist's hourly rate of fifty credits an hour. Considering that he's one of the top five alchemists in the nation, he could easily have gotten double the usual rate without complaint and people would be glad to pay it.

For a Masaki though, Jacob is extremely modest.

Jacob continued filling out the paperwork (all true to the best of his ability, of course.) and when he was done, gave it back to the receptionist and waited for the Auditor.

"Thank you." The receptionist took the forms from both Keith and Jacob, and gestured for the two of them to sit back down. About thirty seconds later, an auditor appeared, dressed in her Class A's. And she did not look very happy as she swiped the paperwork from the receptionist.

Colonel Allaire's looked in good order. He disclosed on *his* paperwork that he had every intention of reimbursing Jacob for his services, but that the value of such services was unknown to him. A few quick questions from and answers to the Auditor confirmed this.

However, the Auditor scowled as she looked down Jacob Masaki's paperwork. Foreign Government Lobbyist? Check. Which meant that she had to be extra careful that he was not looking for favors from Colonel Allaire. Then she saw how Jacob Masaki assessed the value of his work.

She scowled. A mere fifty credits an hour could not be market wage. That left a significant gift-in-kind for Keith; his wage had to have been at least double that. An experienced longshoreman could make that much, and alchemy required far more training. Especially given that the wage that Jacob Masaki would command in the market was definitely going to be in the upper outliers somewhere.

The Auditor whipped out a datapad and punched something into it. Namely, Jacob's assessment of the value of his work. She scowled when the thing pulled up the data from the Ministry of Labor, and calculated what Jacob Masaki's work would fetch in this labor market: 237.16 credits per standard hour.

Calculating the total value of the leftover gift-in-kind to Keith in her head, she scolded Jacob Masaki. "You are aware that you have assessed your labor significantly under market rate, quiaff? Your assessment leaves Colonel Keith Allaire with a total gift-in-kind of 2245 credits and 92 cents? The information available to me quotes the market rate for your skills at 237.16 credits per hour."

Keith shuddered.

Jacob scowled in reply. "You should know that I never, ever bill anyone more than the usual rate for a Master Alchemist, if indeed I bill anyone. I never needed the money and I never will."

"That is besides the point." The Auditor scowled. "We calculate a gift-in-kind here of 2245.92 credits. I also see that you are a Foreign Government Lobbyists, which leads me to ask the question that naturally follows...what favors to yourself and/or your Government are you expecting in exchange?"

"Please, just take the increased assessment," Keith sighed. "If I record it as a gift, then every penny I have ever laid my fingers upon since birth will get audited. Here it is assumed that gifts are meant to buy favors unless proven conclusively otherwise."

The Auditor nodded in agreement with Keith's last statement.

"Fine, I will accept this...assessment." Jacob voice clearly told them that he'd rather fight -in court if necessary- to keep them from giving him the money. Unfortunately for that plan, he had a former Master to find. "But it's going to charity, not my personal account."

Take that, Auditor!

"When was this item made, exactly?" Keith asked Jacob. "Five or six days ago?"

"Indeed," the Auditor added. "Do not get snippy with me, Mister Masaki, or I will go and calculate the interest that Colonel Allaire owes you from deferred payment. Now, you claim that the cost of materials was two thousand credits even. It must have been one of those 'merchant pays sales tax' sales. Receipts, please."

Jacob handed over the sales receipts as requested. Without further comment, of course.

Sure enough, the Auditor saw that the receipts showed two thousand credits in materials, exactly. As in, 2000.00. She scowled, and noted the contact information on the receipt. She would have to verify this with the merchant, for those kinds of round numbers *after* sales and excise taxes were figured into the price were extremely rare. Rare, enough, in fact, to raise suspicions of money laundering.

For now though, she figured the final amount. "Colonel Allaire, you owe Jacob Masaki of Coredia four thousand, eight hundred forty-five credits and ninety-two cents. How do you wish to pay?"

"I will expense it to my annual equipment allowance," the Colonel replied. It had gone unused for the year, and he would only have a little more than 150 credits left out of his annual five thousand credit allowance for equipment. Maybe he would get some blaster power packs or something.

"I will need to verify the cost of materials with the merchant," the Auditor told Jacob, in a scolding tone. She left for a few minutes, presumably to contact said merchant.* A few minutes later, she returned, having verified the records that Jacob Masaki provided to her satisfaction. "I need the bank routing numbers and account information to deposit the funds," she demanded of the Masaki.

*(OOC: I'm taking the shortcut to RP the verification, I assume nobody will mind.)

Jacob reluctantly coughed up his account and routing numbers. There will be hell to pay for Keith Allaire somewhere down the road, that's for sure. One does not scorn a Masaki lightly!

And thusly, the Auditor did pull Colonel Allaire's codex from his uniform, and read it. The yellow plastic armband underneath his sleeve contained his military record. Including his records of expense accounts, though passworded and encrypted such that only Keith or a licensed Woodian Auditor could access them.

Thusly, Jacob Masaki became four thousand, eight hundred forty-five credits and ninety-two cents richer, whether he wanted to or not. Of course, it was not like the Auditor could *prevent* him from giving it to charity. The State's legitimate interest in ensuring that Foreign Government Lobbyists could not buy favors from the Woodian military had been duly saved.

The Auditor got out her notary public stamps and sealed the paperwork submitted and signed by both Colonel Keith Allaire and Jacob Masaki, Master Alchemist. "The State's interest in ensuring that Foreign Governments do not bribe her military officers has been served," the Auditor announced. "You may go." She handed the Colonel's codex back to him.

Colonel Allaire sensed Jacob's...anger...at the situation, which worried him, because Jacob Masaki was not known to get angry. As he left with Jacob, he decided to try to calm him down a bit. "I apologize for the hassle. I honestly thought I only had to reimburse you for materials. Well, next time, I will simply pay you that hourly rate, to keep future auditors out of your way..."

Jacob sighed, releasing said anger. It was actually a rather small amount. Like a teaspoonful compared to Taylor's well-known rants and Jacob almost always gets rid of it within an hour. "I suppose. I just believe that an alchemist should never take advantage of his customers just because he can move molecules around in a fancy way. Our motto is 'Be Thou For the People', after all."

"Yes, but you get taken advantage of all the time when you do things for free. I know you do not need the money, but I cannot have you feeling like I owe you favors, either. There are many cultures where gifts are declined, because the recipient does not wish to receive the obligation of giving a gift in return. Besides, getting rid of the 'I scratch your back, you scratch mine' definitely helps in cutting down on REAL corruption. If politicians are not out looking for gifts, the special-interest lobbyists endemic to other countries have no one who will listen to them."

Keith sighed, having attempted to explain the logic behind the Auditor's inflexibility. Though she had been more rude than most Auditors. "Well, I suppose we should head back to Sprawl Wasteland...er, I mean Los Angeles...so John can be taken off your hands," Keith added. He had to admit, like Taylor Masaki had been when he first adopted John, he was curious as to what it took to parent a child...

Jacob quirked a smile when the Woodian talked about the 'sprawling wasteland' that is Los Angeles. Personally, he didn't see the problem. "Let's go, then."