NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: This thread contains highly offensive terminology, blasphemous scatological references, and gratuitous Catholic bashing. If you are easily offended, do not read any further. The Mods do not have sympathy for idiots who are warned not to read, read anyway, and get offended, so keep Manus Moderatoris (Hand of Mod) out of this. If, however, you are open-minded, you can RP one of your citizens, politicians, journalists, etc. being in the vast crowd and ask questions of the speakers.

29 April 2007

New Sodom, Kahanistan, SW Haven

TV station

For weeks, the advertisements had circulated around any nation that would have them. For weeks, Catholic clergy from throughout the world had protested while the Nationalist Party had hailed it. For days, people had camped outside the TV studio in New Sodom by the millions to see the premiere in person and collect autographs.

Now, finally, the first showing of For the Children! was set to premiere. After the final commercial before the show ended and the screen faded to black, a light-hearted anti-Catholic song (http://www.whitepowerforum.com/mp3z/PederastPriest.mp3) began to play, decrying the Church for its alleged atrocities against children. As the song played, a succession of anti-Catholic cartoons (http://s73.photobucket.com/albums/i206/Kahanistan/virginmary.jpg), many of which had been deployed against the Doomani. (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12322897&postcount=38) These had been spotted on satellite and preserved for posterity, in addition to having floated in balloons to the four corners of the earth.

After a crudely drawn cartoon man in pontifical vestments, whose features caricatured those of the most prominent men to claim papacy of the Catholic Church, finished sodomizing the Baby Jesus and climaxed, the show began in earnest, its two representatives a robust man in his 30's, quite tall, olive-skinned like a Greek, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt saying, "I went to Xirnium and all I got was this stupid T-shirt." and a Jewish woman of about 60 in traditional Israeli garb. The woman was quite tall and very thin and haggard looking, but her eyes were filled with anger and hatred.

The man spoke. "I am Senator Aristakis Nikolatos, of the Nationalist Party of Kahanistan. I'm so glad that there was so much turnout. This is a very important message that I bring to you, one that is critical to our nation's future and the survival of Haven as a world power bloc. I speak, of course, of the Catholic menace that is destabilizing our nation from within."

Nikolatos stepped back from the podium and nodded to the woman speaker. She walked stiffly to the microphone, lowered it to her height, and spoke into it.

"I'm Ruth Lipshitz," she said. "As Senator Nikolatos said, we are here to discuss our favorite people... the Catholics. The followers of the child-molesting bigot Jesus of Nazareth, messenger of Satan. Jesus, the pedophile who founded Catholicism, who explicitly said in the Book of Matthew for little children to come to him so he could "lay hands" on them, that is, to molest them... is it any wonder that a Catholic priest likes to rape little boys, when he follows a religion... that was FOUNDED by a man who liked to rape little boys?! Well... as many of you already know, those Catholic bastards murdered my son, Ehud, HaShem yikom damo, may God avenge his blood." The woman pressed a button, and the face of a muscular, handsome Jewish man in his mid-20's appeared. He was in a Republic Guard officer's dress uniform with the rank of Captain, and had visibly Semitic features, short dark hair, dark eyes and a large, prominent nose.

"This is what they did to him," said Ruth. She turned a knob and graphic photos (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12297467&postcount=81) of the same man, horribly mutilated by the Doomani, or "Catholic filth," appeared. Some of the fainter or weaker people in the audience screamed, retched, or ran out of the audience. Others yelled at the speakers, unprintable obscenities in a cacophony of dozens of different languages.

"This," she continued, turning the volume of the microphone higher to drown out the negative feedback coming from the weaklings in the crowd, "is what these Catholic beasts are capable of! And our traitor Foreign Minister, the self-hating Jew Ms. Levitt, yimach shma v'zichra, may her name and memory be obliterated, has invited more of these demons into our nation while Damien Dreadfire is doing something decent for a change and exterminating the Catholic animals from the earth."

Nikolatos stepped up to the podium. "Well... Doomingsland's late Emperor, Helldawg V, has given the Kahanistanian people, and now the world, as if anyone were in any doubt whatsoever... a really good look at the psychology of the Catholic. They are a primitive, subhuman, barbaric, freedom-hating, Jew-hating, woman-hating race of shits. They really need to be all rounded up and expelled." The Senator stretched and leaned his 6'1", 225-pound frame against the podium.

"Now, what Helldawg V did, when he showed the psychology of Catholics to the world, what he did... was he sent us a letter. It was sent way back in the middle of the ViZion War, and it's taken so long to get out... it sat in the Foreign Ministry for six months in an archive, and then somebody who could read Doomani Latin translated it, and the rest of the world read it. And they read what this child-molesting piece of shit had to say."

"And what they said..." continued Nikolatos, "let me quote from their letter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10277405&postcount=183). 'We find it quite interesting that you incessantly nag our beloved comrades-at-arms like a feeble woman.' This was when we were trying to negotiate peace with MassPwnage, the letter itself is in the Museum of War in Najaster, if it still stands, and a copy is in the Museum of War in Metzuda. So... any kind of attempt at diplomacy rather than war is incessant nagging, is it, Mr. Doom-Anus? And I especially love your characterization of women as feeble. Try talking to our lovely Foreign Minister or our Commander of Naval Operations. 'What part of 'resistance is not just futile, it's downright stupid' do you fools not understand?' How about the fact that the only other option would be surrendering, like cowards? 'What we find all the more hilarious in your ill-thought-out statement is the fact that you claim to be stronger than you were before your crushing defeat at the hands of the Freeks. By stronger do you mean that you've learned precisely what not to do, then execute just that?' No, retard. It means we developed our tactics and got stronger ships. 'Face it:' Suck it. 'your armies lie in ruins, your so-called 'Grand Fleet' has been annihilated by our own fleet, a fleet half the size of yours, and the rest of your navy has been decimated by our allies.' A fleet 50 years ahead of ours in technology, with railguns and deep-earth penetrators and what have you. 'You are WEAK, you are PATHETIC. You are undeserving of life.' Now, my friends, THIS is the gem I've been digging towards. They said that the weak are undeserving of life. By Catholic logic, a woman who is raped deserves to be murdered by her rapist as well! This... is the mindset... of this Catholic SCUM that we are allowing into our country! They must all be rounded up and deported, by whatever force is necessary to achieve that end! 'The fact the Pwnage Government was generous enough to offer you the chance of surrendering a SECOND time demonstrates their truly amazing patience. You were quite foolish to turn such an opportunity down.' The Kahanistanian people have never been intimidated by threats. We do not bow down in the face of mass-murdering terrorist genocidal animals."

When the Senator had finished his tirade against the Catholic Church, the song "Catholicism's Not for Me (http://www.islamcomicbook.com/lyrics1.htm)" played at high volume from the loudspeakers above the audience.

They tried to tell me my religion was wrong,
They tried to tell me to follow Catholicism.
They said their Jesus was a righteous dude,
But I found out none of their words were true.

I read the Bible and I read the Canon Law,
And the sickness of the Godhead was apparent to all.
A priest justifies perversion in the name of his God,
When he assrapes a boy too young for a car.

He was playing with rocks when the vicar came.
His virginity was stolen in Jesus' name.
My Johnny was nine when he took him ahead,
Don’t tell me that fool's not sick in the head.

I ain’t gonna follow no child molester, sex offender, Godhead pretender.
I ain’t gonna follow no child molester.
Catholicism's not for me.
Catholicism's not for me.

The sickness of the Catholic mind,
Has caused some bishops to be blind.
To justify their Godhead
they will justify sin,
So the crimes of the Godhead
are repeated again.

All over the world in Catholic states,
Five year old kids suffer cruel fates,
Raped in the asshole by sick old men,
And Johnny’s sad story is repeated again.

I ain’t gonna follow no child molester, sex offender, Godhead pretender.
I ain't gonna follow no child molester.
Catholicism's not for me.
Catholicism's not for me.

Do you care about children all over the world?
Do you care about those little kids?
Better stand up and fight for human rights,
Speak out against the laws of Catholicism!

I ain’t gonna follow no child molester, sex offender, Godhead pretender.
I ain’t gonna follow no child molester.
Catholicism's not for me.
Catholicism's not for me.
Catholicism's not for me.

[OOC: Well, if you're still reading to this point, go ahead and put a politician or reporter or anyone in the audience and ask questions or make statements.]

The Lone Alliance New corespondent had sat through the whole thing emotionlessly. Trained in both psychology and interrorgation tactics he wasn't phazed the slightest when the long parade of horror finished he stood up to make a statement, "Uh..."
"eh..." "Um..."

Everyone looked as he paused to recollect himself "What the motherf**k was that?" he continued courage rising. "Pardon me but that was the most idiotic display of proprganda that I've ever seen." "A random tirade of insults, truths, lies, slander, and stupidity, well that's entertainment, if you're into that sort of stuff, but if you want to be taken seriously from now on, well you've blown it." He burst out laughing, "What a bunch of baffoons you are..." "However seriously..." He said settling down. "You madam, need professional help to get over that grief you have, and you" he said pointing to Nikolatos, "You wonder why the people in our nation hates nationalists, quite expected for one to blame everything on one group." "The program wasn't sick, it was pathetic." finished with his speech he got up to leave.

"Professional help? You, Mr. Nazi, need to have your child strapped to a table, have his bones crushed by this filth, tortured by these vicious Jew-haters, no doubt being bombarded to convert to their evil, child-raping cult of hate, misogyny, unspeakable evil! Why don't you send your kid to Doomingsland and have him undergo this hell, knowing all the while he's going to die there!" Mrs. Lipshitz's face contorted with intense rage as she responded to the insult.

A slender woman in her mid-30's, dressed in a formal business suit, stood up. She had long brown hair, a smallish figure, and a slightly thin face. She needed no introduction to the Kahanistanian viewers, many of whom had seen her... all of her, in the last couple of issues of Alldoor Action.

"Alyssa Petrova," she said, for the benefit of the foreigners in the audience and watching on TV. "Nationalist Party of Kahanistan. Mrs. Lipshitz, I must first express my condolences to you and your family. I agree that the Doomani regime is intolerable, and I agree with the Nationalist Party in principle, but I'm a little confused... a little concerned, by this attitude to Catholics." She was looking at Senator Nikolatos now.

"We are few enough in number as it is, do we really need to reduce our numbers even further by insulting tens of billions of people, including a good one-fourth of our own party, and, for lack of a better word, promoting hate?"

Nikolatos looked down at the woman. He had never particularly liked her, but the obscene photographs of her had nothing to do with that. No, he disliked her because she tended to oppose the more radical Nationalist politicians.

"Get a clue... you traitorous... halfwit!" he roared. "Catholics are an evil, corrosive presence, Catholics account for ten percent of the population, and according to the Northwest Metzuda Police Sex Crimes Division, that ten percent, accounts for over a third of all child sexual abuse! Back home, large areas of Middle Eastern Kahanistan are no-go zones with machine guns, Jews, Orthodox Christians, Muslims, pagans, Satanists, atheists, and on and on, have to live in hiding, women suffer discrimination they haven't faced since the 1940's, the Negev was turned into a hellhole, because of this Catholic filth, we all know that we lost the war because the Catholics in the military and in the government handed our country over to the Doomani, and let some six hundred thousand soldiers die for a cause they were going to sell out, that they knew was hopeless because they had made an under the table deal with the Jew-hater Maximus, yimach shmo v'zichro..." he turned to Mrs. Lipshitz. "Did I pronounce that right?"

She nodded. Nikolatos continued tearing into Petrova. "Conspired with the Doomani to take the Negev, and you think we're promoting hate against the Catholics? The Catholics have promoted the hate against themselves by their own conduct! These retarded Mary-worshippers, who hate Jews, and for whom committing child rape is a cultural imperative!"

"Wow, no wonder half of the Havenic Governments want you guys out of Haven." Said a female reporter from We Buy It Inc. Broadcasting division as she popped her bubble gum. "Just a bunch of nationalist idiocy, on par with the Clandonians."

She yawned before continuing "Frankly, it was boring and full of situations that not even a teenager would laugh at. And even worse, it's not even insulting, as a practicing catholic like 70% of The Silver Sky is, I don't feel the least bit insulted, or amused, I doubt my husband, who is a practicing jew, would like it anymore."

"No one but a Doomani would be insulted, and they'd probably just order your bombing, which would be, quite frankly, more fun to watch then this piece of shit."

She continued, yawning again and stretching, she had fallen asleep during the viewing. "You do know that the Doomanis account for less then 1% of all the world's catholics right? What you're saying is like me saying that since less then 1% of jewish people are greedy and rich that all jewish people are greedy and rich. Ma'am, I suggest you get a reality check, check yourself into a mental ward and rethink your life, cause frankly, you're a failure, you just blew your chance with We Buy It Inc. Broadcasting and tens of billions of viewers."

She got up, stretched again, shouldered her bag and began to walk out of the building.

"Well, then ask your foreign ministry if they'll be willing to take our Catholics when we expel this fascist cult from our midst," said Nikolatos. "And stop berating a grieving mother whose hero son died to try to give the Clandonians a better life. And ten years from now, when we've expelled this corrosive fifth column from our military, our government, and our populace... we'll sit back and laugh when they move to your country. We will watch as the Silver Sky turns into Doomingsland Jr. and its human rights situation goes to hell in a handbasket."

"I just knew I'd get this," he added. In a mocking tone, Nikolatos continued. "It's not what the majority of Catholics think. Most Catholics are decent people. Most Catholics aren't Nazi demons. The Doomani corrupt the teachings of Catholicism." Stopping the sarcastic tone, he bellowed, "BULLSHIT! I have intelligence (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Roman_Catholicism#Recognising_Pope_Innocent_VI_.28Doomingsland.27s_Pope.29) that shows that nearly all Catholics in Whyatica are just as vile as the ones here and in Doomingsland. Luckily, Catholics there, assuming this information is up to date, are only one percent of the population, but soon hopefully it will be zero."

The LAN delegate had stood there watching the other two replies, After the 'We buy it' reporter walked out he seized the silience for his advantage, "See what I mean people. They're both psychos, by wanting the "death of all catholics" they are as evil as those they claim to hate!!!" he said pointing at them both. "in fact for being so open about it and outright advocating it for everyone, you're WORSE!!" They both flinched. His words struck them both like a dagger and everyone knew it. "Ms. Petrova," he said turning to face her as he spoke calmly. "As Tobin Greer of Lone Alliance News, I advise that you get together with the rest of your party..." he turned and gave another muderous glare to the two 'stars', "And expell these two manics before they bring the rest of you all down." with a small hint of forboding he continued, "because the words 'Nationalist party Advocates worldwide Genocide.' will not be something that will be easy to escape." He finished his speech and waited for Ruth and Nikolatos to dig an even deeper grave.

The Farbanti Times correspondant was almost too shocked to ask a question. In all her years of reporting, mostly in wartorn areas in Eastern Europe and making a name for herself reporting the human rights abuses in Chechnya, she had never seen so much blind hatred spewed forth at an official conference. She stood up after the LAN correspondant was answered and asked;

"Madam Lipshitz," she said in a delicate feminine voice that betrayed her inner strength, "frankly, what do you expect to gain by blindly insulting an entire faith who's majority are moderates who would denounce Doomingsland's war crimes in a heartbeat and claim they weren't real Catholics? Also may I add, the millions of Catholics in my home land are peaceful people that coexist with the rest of the population and I being a Muslim find you and your program's views extremely insulting."

She stared at the woman with that steely glare you only see between two women.

"They'd probably be more then willing to help them get back on their feet, if they have no criminal record, otherwise they're not getting into the country. And your grieving mother speech would be much more well received if my son wasn't one of the troops sent to Old Clandonia to help liberate them from their oppressive military government and from the evil clutches of the Corporate Alliance.

And The Silver Sky actually has some of the highest political and civil rights in the entire world, it would take more then a few more catholics, be they nice and civil or evil as you say, to change that, because if they're are truly evil, they'd probably end up arrested. Just remember that there is actually seperation of church and state in The Silver Sky.

And, just how does that 1% of Whyaticans which are Catholic stack up to the total number of Catholics in the world, as 100% of Skyian Catholic Churches recognize Pope Leo XIV, not that sham from Doomingsland."

Petrova turned to face the Lone Alliance delegate who had spoken to her. "I don't agree with their extremism," she said. "But the movement's gotten bigger... when the Nationalist Party formed, maybe two out of forty had some kind of anti-Catholic bias, now it's more like twenty-five."

Behind the podium, Mrs. Lipshitz was responding to the opposition. "I never once advocated death to the Catholics. I said that I want this genocidal garbage out of my country, I want them to be rounded up, expelled, and see the inherently evil nature of the filth that their religion is."

"What do I want to gain?" she asked. "What I want is to prevent a massive bloodletting on our streets. Do you remember last year when General al-Ghazi decided to expel the Amestrians? He incited angry mobs to lynch them by the thousands and today there are almost none in Kahanistan, but out international reputation suffered immensely. If something like this happens against the Catholics, we will be accused of genocide and the Doomani will spare a few divisions from the Freekish war to come here and protect their satanic spawn. They must go. They must get out of our nation, where they pose no threat to our survival, so that we can rebuild without being stabbed in the back. They. Must. Go. You share a border with our Doomani-occupied territory. For your own safety, expel those Catholics before they become the first to collaborate should Maximus, may his name and memory be obliterated, decide he wants to occupy your nation as well."

"That sham from Doomingsland actually practices the most scripturally faithful form of Catholicism. Pick up a copy of the Catholic Bible and read it. Find out what these people actually teach. This is what all Catholics practiced until the end of the Crusades, so it's not like some lunatic priest decided to cock up some fundamentalist meshuggenah perversion of the scriptures."

The woman responded, "But you can't seriously think without being naive that [I]every[I] Catholic in your nation has it in their heart to destroy it? Not long ago a documentary on human rights abuses aired in my country and showed that Chatholics were on the receiving end of the Doomani purges. And what of the Catholics that served in your old army, that gave their lives so you could stand their spitting venom at them?"

She felt she got her point accross. If not to Lipshitz then to her party and the audience.

Samiel Duglat, or 'Sammy Dug-Dug', as he was known as for his Herastall Report newspaper, sat wide-mouthed, in awe. He could feel the crucifix dangling around his neck. He himself took no personal insult, after all, Sammy Dug-Dug was known for taking tragic and hideous circumstances and turning them into something more humourous.

He knew though that the majority of Herastall Christians, especially the Roman Catholics, were not as open as he was. And making up a large 47% of the Herastall population, it would not be easy to quite them down. To make matters worse, the President himself was a Catholic. Sammy Dug-Dug wondered whether it would be better if he just never reported this back to Herastall. None the less, he carried on taken notes, and his tape recorder carried on spinning, taking note of every word being said.

"You mean the ones like Defense Minister Kasagawa, who quietly pulled troops back and let the Doomani move unrestricted over our territory, who had the planes grounded and let their fellow cultists bomb our cities with no opposition save a bunch of old Shilkas, who sold our nation out to the enemy rather than fight as the rest of us did?"

The woman's paranoid claims, reminiscent of the ancient stab in the back myth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolchstosslegende), urged Senator Petrova to stand up again.

"There is no evidence that the decision to withdraw the planes was made on anything other than a tactical decision to preserve them for the final battle. It was those planes that saved the lives of many of the government's most prominent officials."

Nikolatos ripped into her again. "You cannot genuinely be that stupid. If they had been placed in combat as soon as the war began, there would have been no need to flee, and many of our elected officials would not be being fed to lions in Doomanum."

OOC: should have reaaaaaally sent me the whole “I revoke my status as a protectorate, please leave” agreement you and Why came up with, ‘cause this is a rather large ‘whoops’ for you.

IC: Minor problems for the Kahnistanians in the wake of this broadcast.

Problem one, despite revoking the situation as a protectorate, the 400,000 troops deployed to the KPZ were still very much in situ, having received no request by the Kahnistanian government to leave, or even informing their protectors they were no longer needed.

Problem two, despite revoking the situation as a protectorate, the Midlonian appointed governor was still acting, albeit rather inactively, as the more recognised head of the KPZ in the eyes of the Greater Kingdom of Midlonia, and its associated protectorates, having received no request by the Kahnistanian government to give up his position as Governor, and leave.

Problem three, the KPZ’s geographical location placed it within the remit of a further 4 million men-at-arms in the three main branches and three secondary fighting branches of the Midlonian Armed Forces System.

Problem five, the Midlonians had trained a good portion of the Kahnistanian Defence Forces and supplied them with the necessary arms, while it hadn’t gone as far as to supply them with any aircraft for an airforce, it was generally assumed by M.I.R.A [Midlonian Intelligence and Research Agency] that some aircraft had been purchased by the Kahnistanian government in the intervening time, as for training? Who could guess, they hadn‘t given them any. By comparison the Midlonians still held several airfields within the KPZ as well as heavy port-facilities that were built with Midlonian Money.

Problem Six, because of the above five problems, the Midlonians were about to react.

------------

The Bedford trucks growled as they moved down the street, outriders with sirens were clearing the streets of civilian traffic as they went. Thundering overhead came the ZMI-built Goshawks, fantastic attack helicopters which were now being ruthlessly built under license to increase the helicopter fleet of the R.A.F.

It was a rather simple, if slightly heavy handed plan. Midlonian troops were now mobilizing and being moved rather rapidly by the Platoon and Company to seize the government and media outlets owned by the Kahnistanians. Any armed resistance in the form of the police-force, have a go heroes, or the KDF were simply to be swept away.

The Goshawks roared over the foreign Ministry, where the press conference was currently being held. Ropes whipped down and men began to descend, outside an APC and several trucks smashed the front gate, men poured out screaming for the Kahnistanian Security Personnel to drop their weapons, if any, and to get onto the floor with their hands behind their heads. Other troops smashed the front door and stormed into the office itself and headed to the Press room.

In other parts of the city the same was happening, the presidential building was struck by the same rough make-up of light tanks, APC’s and men in trucks, there was a helicopter assault on the offending TV station, cutting its broadcasts within minutes. This was the first wave also. More men would be pouring in soon to secure the other elected bodies and even some more unselected bodies of the media.

Control needed to be restored, along with sanity.

"Now" Isoroku Osami began "I don't like Catholics. And hell, my son was killed by Doomanis too. Those bastards are sick. I'm Questarian, we hate Doomanis too. But this thing was downright stupid. I mean rape, what the hell? That's not even funny."

The ambassador to Kahanistan adjusted his stance.

"Nevertheless, keep broadcasting. By all means, keep broadcasting. A free media is a free nation. Even if your TV is shit."

The men and women in the press room were currently oblivious to the large scale military operation that was at that moment closing in on the very room. That is until almost everyone's cellphones went off. Greer flipped it open and gasped after hearing a single sentence before shouting "EVERYBODY GET DOWN NOW!!!" he quickly jumped to the floor and rolled under some chairs.

This was merely a TV studio on the eastern end of the nation. The security was minimal, a dozen or so New Sodom police with tactical body armor and carrying .50 Smith and Wesson revolvers and FN FAL battle rifles.

Not expecting a military assault on the studio, the police had no heavy armor (though a modified Merkava with tear gas shells and rubber bullets was five minutes away with a phone call, used for riot control.)

Kahanistanian police tend to wear military-grade armor to protect themselves, as in Kahanistan it is perfectly legal for civilians to own military-grade assault weapons with minimal oversight. However, the police wouldn't let anyone into the room with a gun when there was a senator speaking, and there were gun lockers in the front room.

Lieutenant Johannes Feldstrom, the leader of the dozen police officers protecting the building, was alerted to the attack when the door crashed in. He raised his FN FAL and opened fire on the Midlonian troops. What the hell are these bastards doing here?!

"Tell the audience to get the hell out!" he barked at another police officer, not knowing that the Midlonians weren't going to try to kill everyone inside. "Protect the speakers!" He continued to lay down a wall of 7.62x51mm ammunition as the other officer went back.

---

Metzuda, Capital of the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan

Lt. Colonel Mara Fulton, commander of the Presidential Security Detachment, was sitting in her office at the phone, where she was discussing new security protocols and the possibility of issuing a new weapon, when she heard shooting and looked out her office window.

The small tank force outside the palace, composed of ten Merkava IV MBT's and five of the new Spartacus (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522552) main battle tanks that were being phased into the Republic Guard, were exchanging fire with Midlonian light tanks and APC's.

Reaching for her radio, Fulton asked the commander of the armor detachment, in a furious tone, "What the hell is going on out here!?"

"Colonel Fulton, the Midlonians are trying to destroy the government. Get the President out of here, I don't know how long we can hold them off." Then, the sound of 105mm ETC and 40mm chainguns opening a hail of deadly fire on the Midlonian troops and vehicles came over Mara's radio.

She wasted no time rushing to the President's office...

Letter in the editorial section of New Clanon City Times

Sir,

Following the latest broadcast of the Kahanistani television show attacking Doominsgland and Catholicism in general we must call to question why these people were allowed into the Haven. With my loyalty to the Crown and God the Royal bloodline between Clandonia and Doominsgland is a strong one. If the Kahanistani nationalists do get into power then I would hope this country would be prepared to put a stop to their policy. While a believer in free speech of which this country is renowned for this show took a step too far, calling for the deaths of individual just because of their religion is a barbaric act on the same stand as the tyrannies of Ghogloth. Doomingsland has helped Clandonia greatly with their economic aid and the donation of weapons to the armed forces, we should be greatfull for their campaign to end Freekish aggresion and communism.


Your Sincerly

Rt. Hon Sir Anthony Philips
Minister for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs

"What the fuck?" Osami shouted. "Fucking Midlonians." As he was escorted out with the others he dialed in a few numbers on his phone.

"This is Osami. No you idiot, it can't fucking wait. The Midlonians have stormed that Kahanistani showing I was going to. Yes, the bastards are shooting. Can't you hear it you piece of shit? Well what? Well tell those bastards at London about it! Don't just fucking wait!"

Osami hung up and hoped a diplomatic response was coming.

OOC: Hayalife is a branch of Protestantism(sp), in Brydog.
Thomas Heightson, a report from the Red Star, a communist paper asked his question. "My Comrade, me as a Hayalifian I ask if you are against just Catholic or Jesus himself. Jesus is part of the Protestant belief also, he's is the son of God and part of our beliefs too. That also Jesus was a Jew, and the idea of Christianty was formed after his death as a established religion. So, please don't use his name as a tool of anti-Catholic hate because we Protestants believe him, too." He sits and sighs.

Inside the Lone Alliance, hundreds of tag lines began to show while on the news channel an important broadcast began playing.

-BREAKING LONE ALLIANCE NEWS REPORT-
Date Line Kahanistan...
"Today the opening viewing of what was considered a "TV Show of hate" by the Kahanistan Nationalist party, which due to censors will not be shown in this nation for fear of emotional trauma. Has been disrupted by multiple events. Our reporter Tobin Greer, on station to give a report has reported that a massive Midlonian operation has begun against the Kahanistan government, perhaps in response to this very situation. We take you to the scene by phone. Tobin what's going on?"

"We are hearing shooting and what sounds to be helicopters over the area, the press room is being evacuated as we speak." *BANG* "News is rampart from others stating that Metzuda is under a full scale attack by Midlonian armoured divisions." *Shooting* "They are getting closer, the guards have instructed me to leave now."

"Keep us updated Tobin, and be safe."

Presidential Building

“Bugger me.” muttered the Leftenant who had been placed in charge of this assault. “Get the direct support in here no-”

The 200mm round smashed into the Merkava nearest to the Midlonians and vanished in a ball of flames and smoke. Three Goshawk’s crested over the cityscape and opened fire, 200mm recoilless rifles in the air versus tanks on the ground. They would make short work of the armour currently in front of the Presidential building. A fourth Goshawk suddenly belted in from the side and opened fire with an under slung chain gun. As another pair of Goshawk’s crested on the roof, more troops zip lining down onto the top of the building.

“Much bloody better” he remarked to no-one in particular, before the truck nearest to him was blown apart by a tank-shell, snapping him back to barking and yelling out orders to the troops now returning fire with Anti-Tank weapons and their MA-80 Rifles.

TV station

“Flash ‘em!” Yelled the Midlonian Sergeant as he pulled a white grenade from his webbing, pulled the pin, and hurled it into the room. With a deafening roar and a flash the Kahnistanian Policemen would be blinded. The Midlonians stormed in, screaming for the Policemen, who would have been partly deafened by the flash, and still trying to recovered their sight after it, to drop their weapons. They shot any that refused to drop their weapons, or appeared to be going to shoot blindly.

The group that had cut the feed from the rooftop had now worked their way back down the station and now moved to intercepted the group of Journalists and the audience being escorted out by policemen.

The Sergeant in his distinctive bowl helmet held a Stuzi submachine gun in his hands, two men with MA-80’s were either side of him in the middle of the corridor, with more further down behind various overturned pieces of funature.

“Drop your guns and surrender now! There is no need for senseless killing!” the Sergeant screamed as he aimed his Stuzi steadily at the lead policeman.

"Senseless killing?" asked the lead officer. "Like the senseless killings you're pulling, shooting three of my men and trying to shut down a political broadcast?"

Meanwhile, the police escorting the journalists, speakers, politicians, and audience members were engaged in a Mexican standoff with Midlonian soldiers, who seemed intent on arresting everyone there.

---

Four Merkavas were taken out, their crews fleeing the infernos and hiding behind the sturdier Spartacus tanks. One of them was immobilized, having lost its tracks, but was still pouring chaingun fire at the Goshawks.

Colonel Fulton ran smack into President Khalid bin Abdullah al-Omari, who had just come out of the men's room. She had been looking for him in his office and in the TV room, where he could often be found watching Doomani gladiator games.

"Mr. President, the Midlonians are attacking us. I guess they're mad at us for pulling out of the protectorate deal," she said.

"I thought we made it clear that we meant them no ill will, that it was to get Whyatica on our side to get our people back," said the President. "I'll make for the helipad."

"Bad idea, I can't risk you being shot down," said Fulton. She opened the door to the armory. "Better try to get out of here in a tank, I can help." She pulled down a set of large BDU's, a suit of body armor, and an M-16 like the one she wore strapped to her back. "Put these on. I'll take us out in a Spartacus."

TV Station

“It’s damn sickening for a protectorate of ours to act in such a way.” spat back the Lieutenant, now drop your weapons before I make you drop the damn things!” He menaced, something quite hard for a four foot eleven man to do. But he managed it with his eyes and stuffy moustache all the same.

In the Studio itself the Midlonians had stormed in, forced a few of the Policemen into captivity, while having to shoot two others who either refused to drop their weapon, or made to fire at the soldiers.
“Any bugger else around?” asked the Sergeant as he peered at some of the chairs which had been kicked around a bit, or used as cover.

------------

Presidential Palace

“Going down! Going down!” screamed the Goshawk pilot as his aircraft span uncontrollably before it slammed heavily into the side of the Presidential Palace with a crash.

The two remaining rifle-armed Goshawk’s focused their fire and targeted the Spartacus tanks, firing more rounds in at singular targets, leaving the Merkava’s to the ground troops and missile-armed light tanks.

Still, the exchange of fire was taking it’s toll, 4 light tanks had been destroyed or mission killed, 3 APC’s and six of the trucks were burning in the plaza outside. However, the whine of a fast approaching jet could be heard.

“Duck!” screamed the Lieutenant, now covered in blood his nametag had been obscured.

The Dove VTOL fighter screamed over the Kanhistani positions, bombs fluttered uncertainly before smashing into the ground, hurling dust and indeterminable pieces into the air. A second followed it seconds later as the troops on the ground whooped and cheered.

The police lieutenant finally threw down his FN FAL. "It's just a handful of right-wing politicians," he replied. "I hope you don't think we're all like that."

"No," said the police sergeant who was detailed to escort the audience and speakers from the studio. "This is everyone you've managed to catch. I don't reckon the rest stayed around... we don't arrest people here for expressing their views, let alone just attending a showing."

---

The surviving tank crews fled back toward the safety of the Presidential Palace; the tanks had been reduced to flaming hulks, and those that hadn't were too dangerous to remain in long enough to take a shot at the Doves.

The Goshawk that crashed into the Presidential Palace hit the TV room head on, killing four and injuring one among the guards who had been on break. They never knew what hit them. Within seconds a medical team was on the way to where the gunship had crashed. They would save the Midlonian pilot too if he or she could be saved.

Colonel Fulton and President al-Omari, heading for the exit, ran right into the retreating tank crews. "What are you doing?" they asked. "They've just taken out our armor!"

Shit. Fulton and the President headed back, toward the basement. The escape tunnels weren't complete, but there were plenty of places to hide. The President pulled out his cell phone and tried to get ahold of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and find out what the Midlonians wanted, but the line was down. It wouldn't have done much good anyway; the Minister, aside from being a little of a psycho, was out of the country, trying to mediate peace between Hataria and a global coalition set up to destroy it.

Thomas was outside of the studio, he was confused and needed to get back to Brydog. He looked around for a taxi or something, he looked at his press badge and headed to the local airport. "This is a odd country" he said as he walked.

Special Report from RNN

Today, reporter Thomas Heightson of The Red Star, was at a foreign studio when a foreign military attacked it. Heightson is a member of the Federal Communist Party and a devout Hayalifian. We hope for his safe return home.

Downtown Farbanti is a huge place. The city is set into an enclave in the mountains of the Caucasus and is encircled by a high ridge to the north, the tall ragged edges of a montain range to the East and West and the mountains to the South. It's only 50 miles from the city of Grozny, the capital of Chechnya before the onset of the war. The only way into the city by ground is a man-made canyon that connects the city basin to the outlying fields, built a slight incline and bearing a massive highway and two rail lines. One for freight, the other for passengers. Traffic into the capital is always great. The airport, Farbanti International plays a great role in the trade that goes on in Farbanti. It lies on a plateau to the north west of the city basin accessible by tunnel. It also shares this plateau with the Air Force Base. Ever since Groznyj turned into a player on the global market as a result of progressive economic policies on behalf of the adminstration, Farbanti has been a very globalized city. The ticker on the Farbanti Times HQ building always showed many different news stories from around the world and in the the native land. However today was something different and managed to turn quite a few more heads than usual. The ticker streamed past like this:

HEADLINES: Times correspondant Kira Livnski missing in Kahanistani Protectorate Zone, Haven. Reports of gunfire and bombings in New Sodom. Midlonian armed forces attacking Kahanistani government palace at openning of new controversial TV show. More updates later...

The ticker went by once and caught the gaze of a few passersby. Most stayed and looked on waiting for any updates. 20 seconds later the same line was played again. The Times took advantage of the public interest as an oppurtunity to sell more papers (as any major Newspaper would). Needless to say many Times issues of the World section were sold that day.

Kira however was able to get off a short satellite phone call to her editor back in Farbanti. It was evident from the background sounds she was in danger.

-Streets near the TV station-
After the large evac, order quickly broke down as reporters and others scattered to all directions. With the situation this dire, the airport would be useless. Greer had to find out if TLA had any sort of embassy and he had to make it there fast.

Official Announcement from the ANN

Given the beginning of Operation Free Africa, we believe it is both good and proper to run this show on ANN. We request broadcast rights to it.

Announcement of the Liberty-City Cathedral

Generally we're kind of fond of Jesus of Nazareth. However we would like to remind everybody that the Doomani Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon.

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Ministry of Commerce
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

You would have to contact Senator Aristakis Nikolatos or Mrs. Ruth Lipshitz for the broadcast rights to For the Children. Given their passionate feelings toward the ideals they espouse, I find it difficult to believe they would refuse.

I must make it clear that the Government of Kahanistan does not in any way endorse the slanderous hatred that the Senator and his colleagues advocate; the views expressed in that broadcast are not those of our government, in which many elected and appointed Catholic officials serve. And I thought I was the whore of Babylon.

Signed,
Angus McKimble,
Minister of Commerce

Rachel C. Levitt,
Minister of Foreign Affairs

TV Station

The Sergeant’s face changed as the weapons were lowered, nobody was no in danger, that was the main thing, he nodded understandably at the policeman. “Orders are orders for me I am afraid. You and I both know nothing would ever happen if military men ruled the world, but fact is it’s men like the right-wingers that caused the first darn genocide. Dunno who authorized it, but apparently the whole government is being suspended because of the actions of the few.” He shrugged again, before glancing around at the crowd.
“So. Who we got here and, uhm. Hmm.” he pondered for a minute, before unbuttoning a pocket on his webbing. “Biscuits anyone? Never really was any good at prisoner taking us lot.”



Streets around the Station

The reporter, Greer, who ran out into the street suddenly would find himself in an area of complete chaos, men and machines shifting around, locking down, or attempting to lock down streets near to the station itself.

Before he could really comprehend what was going on, he’d find himself being screamed at to get on the ground by a Soldier wielding a rather nasty looking assault rifle.

In reaction Greer dived down on the ground using the whole 'duck and cover' move, with a bunch of obiviously triggerhappy guards he wasn't going to try something, apparently they were simply rounding up everyone in the surrounding area. He was sure he's not the first Reporter mistaken for an enemy so hopefully they would have a way of dealing with it by now. "PRESS!" He shouted holding up an ID Badge on one hand while he kept on the ground. However in his other hand he quickly turned his hidden Cellphone to 'record'.

Midlonia launches miliary coup in Havenic Kahanistan
In what has been described as a "shocking debasement of democracy", Midlonian tanks have poured into the streets of the formerly-free Kahanistani capital.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42242000/jpg/_42242524_uprising203.jpg
Dramatic images are beginning to filter through of Midlonian tanks
clashing with Kahanistani security forces attempting to defend their elected
government from the coup.
___________________
From 'The Herald'
Front Page

Kahanistanis who have successfully fled Doomani and Whyatican oppression in their homeland are once more faced with the terrifying prospect of troops on their street corners and the ignominy of life under foreign rule as the last free enclave of the Kahanistani nation may be beginning to disappear.

So far the Midlonian government has issued no statement concerning the coup, which began some time this morning Commonwealth Mean Time, and the causes are as yet unknown. Midlonian attacks have so far have consisted of helicopters, tanks, armoured transport vehicles and a large number of footsoldiers mounted in trucks. It has so far been confirmed that the Midlonian army has seized control of a major television station in the capital and the Kahanistani Foreign Ministry, and a further attack on the Presidential Palace is being tenaciously resisted by Kahanistani security forces.

Fears are mounting for the safety Praetonian ambassador Sir Ramsay Herbet-Thomson, who was either killed or taken hostage during a Kahanistani media event he had been invited to attend in the television station when Midlonian troops stormed the building. It is as yet unclear whether the intention of storming the television station was to seize foreign hostages, or if the two circumstances are coincidental.

Addressing the House this morning, Prime Minister Sir Tiberius Polax described the Midlonian coup as a "shocking debasement of democracy," and appealed for the Midlonian army to withdraw and "allow the elected government of Kahanistan to resume its lawful rule." The Prime Minister also expressed concerns that such an event could occur within the bounds of Haven, saying that "I had hoped the mine would be the last generation to see tryanny flourish within twelve thousand miles of the hallowed walls of this Parliament. The events of the past few hours have wrenched that hope much further from our grasp."

The Prime Minister ended his speech by demanding the immediate release of the Praetonian ambassador, and threatened "actions that will subsequently be determined" if the Midlonian army refuses. The Duke of Warburton went further, demanding that the Prime Minister commit to send a military deployment to Kahanistan to ensure the return of the lawfully elected government to cheers from the Liberal benches, but the Prime Minister assured the House that he would "not act precipitously", and that informed the nation that "any military deployment would come only at the explict request of the elected Kahanistani government."

It is as yet unknown if the people of the Kahanistani capital will respond violently to the attempted coup in the defence of their government, sovereignty and democracy, or if they will side with the Midlonian army, or remain neutral.


TV Station

Sir Ramsay Herbet-Thomson was a fat sixty-something man dressed in a black suit, black waistcoat and black top hat. A gold chain hung from the pockets of his wiastcoat, attached to a valuable antique pocketwatch. He was the very image of the proprietous Praetonian gentleman. He was also very, very drunk and, not being inclined to sit through a load of drivel about why it was of gravest necessity to concot a Final Solution to the Catholic Problem and the ensuing argument it would provoke, he had placed his tophat over his face, retired to an inconspicuous corner of the room, put his umbrella under the three seats he had sprawled out across, hidden from view from the rest of the room by the backs of the row of chairs in front, and fallen asleep.

He had still been asleep when the television station employees had ushered the rest of the delegates out into the street.

He had still been asleep when the Midlonian army had burst into the studio.

He had still been asleep when the Midlonian army had shot a number of policemen.

And he was still asleep now. He began to snore.

Kira breathed a sigh of releif. She and all the other journalists had gotton down on the ground and were now, though hesitantly, getting back up. She barely noticed a rather plump man had been staring at her ass. She was a rather attractive journalist in her mid-thirties.

"Hey, I'd like a biscuit!"

The fat man from some country unknown to Kira took the biscuit from the confused guard. The people around him stared at him for a second before shifting their attention. How on Earth could this man think of food at a time like this?! she thought to herself. And then he turned to her. She was now very bewildered. He stared at her with a large grin and offered her the biscuit. Your fucking kidding me..

"Where I come from good biscuits mean good love making. I see you got good biscuits want some of mine?"

Kira was horrified, "Pervert! she yelled and slapped the man accross the face with her sat-phone in hand. Without thought she kicked him square in the gut and her small foot went in atleast a foot before the man fell flat on his blubbery rear. The woman held her head high and gave the stunned man the cold shoulder from then on. Meanwhile the other journalists took picture of the incident. And they all learned a lesson that day.

You don't mess with a woman from Groznyj.

Midlonians Slaughter Hundreds in bloody coup

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j286/ExpatJane/smileys/thaitanks.jpg
A Midlonian solider on the streets of Metzuda

From the New Clanon City Times
Front Page

Shocking and bloody events in the Kahanistani protection zone after the Midlonians launched a coup attempt to take control after the controversial television programme ridiculing Doominsgland and Catholicism in general. The Kahanistan protection zone was established after the Whyatican imperialism campaign which killed millions of Kahanistani civilians as they sheltered in their huge tower city complexes. One commentator noted the Whyaticans opened fire with heavily artillery kill thousands in a single shot from the Unity Gun piece.

In a statement to the Commons Prime Minister Mr David Sistilin backed the Praetonian stance calling for the Midlonians to be called to account for their illegal actions and attack on sovereignty. The Foreign Office Minister Sir Philips after writing on the situation expressing his concern for the television programme while addressing the 1st Army Group at Land Command HQ at Kirkland. The 1st Army Group is preparing to go on active operations in a simulation on the King William Line in which Midlonian forces attempt an invasion. The recent build up of Midlonian troops prompted MP's in the Defence Select Committee to request the Commons to vote for a further deployment commitment for the construction and reinforcement of the King William Line.

It was revealed that several Clandonian nationals are trapped in Kahanistan including the Times Stuart Randor Metzuda Correspondent who reported to seeing columns of Midlonian armour appearing the in the streets and sporadic bursts of gun fire. It was ordered by the Crown Government that all Clandonian nationals are urged to leave at once fearing possible harassment by the Midlonians. The Times correspondent reported police officers were shot in cold blood while civilians were beaten by the buts of Midlonian rifles for their opposition. The various Havenite governments await a statement regarding the Midlonian from both the Midlonians themselves and the gagged puppet administration of Kahanistan.

Streets around the TV station

"A Reporter Sarge!" shouted the guard as he lowered his gun for a second.

Another man, lighting a pipe and walking over with a distinctive trench coat (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/Midlonia/Characters%20and%20Soldiers/Soldiers.jpg), sighing he looked at the Reporter.
“Fancy a scoop old chap?” he asked with a raised eyebrow as he lit the pipe and took a puff. “Follow me.”


TV Station

“Restrain her.” noted the Sergeant simply. Several men advanced on her, one with a weapon held ready should anything happen to be deemed too unruly. The others would have plastic cuffs which locked shut.

---------

The men stared incuriously at the snoring figure.
“Should we wake him?” asked a Private.
“Nah, let him be, well, until we get orders anyhow.” shrugged the Sergeant.

The We Buy It Inc. Broadcasting Reporter, now identified at Jessica Smith sat backwards in one of the many chairs of the room, she threw her brunette hair up in a bun and fixed her blouse while watching the antics of the woman from Groznyj and the Midlonian soldiers.

She whipped out her cell phone and quickly sent a message to We Buy It Inc. Broadcasting Headquarters in Azaha, including orders to send the message to her bosses back in The Silver Sky

Midlonians stormed TV studio & government/city, I'm ok, no reason given yet.

If any of the midlonians thought she was kahanistan they would be quickly proven wrong by her press pass and passport which she had clipped to her blouse pocket.

She then looked over at the sleeping man and the soldiers around him, "That's the Praetonian Ambassador to Kahanistan, they might be worried about him, and, are we being held hostage? Or do you just want the Kahanistani Nationals? Cause I really want to leave."

-Lone Alliance Embassy-
"Move it people!" One of the guards shouted as employees were hurried into a large truck. "We don't know how long it'll take before the battle reaches the Foregin offices, or if it'll reach the offices." While the non-combatants were being pulled out, the soldiers inside made preparations for a more secure evac for the Ambassador, as well as working out to find a way to locate their lost reporter.

"We'll need to pull everything we got," their commander said, while another soldier kicked a small decorative pillar over, revealing the 2 M-72s inside, a globe hid a bunch of grenades while the fridge revealed a couple more. While the truck drove off with civilians towards the airport, the complex began to enter full lockdown mode. No one is to get in or out, and any attempt to enter would be met with maximum force.

-Streets-
"Sure," Greer said standing up, dusting himself off first. "It has to be better than that filth," he said pointing towards the TV station. "Lead on."

TV Station

The Sergeant, a man called Simpkins by his nametag merely shrugged. “My orders were to secure this station and studio mum, folks inside too probably, you are?” he asked as other troopers moved the bodies to a corner out of the way. "Wait, he's what?" He asked incrediously.

------------

“Well sir, you’ll have to go see the XO at the consul compound.” the Sergeant said to the TLA reporter, a truck roared past before being replaced by a Land Rover.

[b]Embassy district[b]

The Goshawk’s merely roared over the district and began to set up a perimeter. They were joined 10 minutes later by a pair of Dove VTOL aircraft running a lazy “Race-track” patrol pattern to conserve fuel.

A flight of Goshawk’s were now racing their way towards the airport of the Capital.

TV Station

"Those are some pretty vague orders Mr. Simpkins, and I'm Mrs. Jessica Smith," She stuck her hand out in greeting, "reporter and critic from We Buy It Inc. Broadcasting, and yeah he is, I recognized him from photos when he came into the room, got a picture of him right here." She pulled the picture from her pocket and handed it to the Sergeant.

Maria Trisina was a middle aged, attractive looking, and modestly built journalist from the RTN news. She had been using this opportunity to get a typical Red Tidean 'anti-freedom' propaganda scoop. Mainly how decadent this Kahanistan was and so-on and so-forth.

Right now, though, she just couldnt stop cursing in her native Russian.

"Fuck, fuck, shit, motherfucker." She said. It took about one minute for her to regain her composure, then she just stood there with her hands in the air.

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Office of the Vice President

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

The Government of Kahanistan wishes to know why it is being equated with one extremist senator who dared voice his views regarding Catholics.

When extremists are barred from propagating their views through peaceful processes such as public speaking and running extremist candidates for office, they are likely to resort to violence.

The brutal tactics used by the Midlonians here will not stamp out anti-Catholicism among the people. As our people still in the Negev cling to their cherished ideals of freedom and democracy, so do extremists cling to their ideals involving the expulsion of Catholics.

The only way to excise the anti-Catholic cancer is to educate people. As we are not all hostile, intolerant fanatics simply because one rightist senator speaks against the Church, Catholics are not all rapacious, imperialist savages simply because the Doomani Church espouses this hateful philosophy.

Therefore, the Government of Kahanistan demands that the Midlonian military stand down its forces from attacking our government. If it does not do so within 72 hours, as acting commander in chief I will request that our Whyatican, Questarian, and Praetonian allies intervene.

Signed,

Margaret K. Delray,
Vice President of Kahanistan

-TLA Embassy, Second Floor-
"Keep them inside, it's only some fliers." Came a person watching with a binoculars from a window. "Bottom floor secure, Gate secured, warning sign in place warning that beyond the fence is considered part of the sovergin land of The Lone Alliance, and therefore no entry without premission." "Good."

-Streets-
"Okay then, I guess I'll head for the consul compound if it's safe enough."

Foreign News, declared the golden letters on the screen, before fading away to reveal a woman in her late twenties. Chestnut hair, blue eyes and glasses. A news anchor.

''Hello, I'm Susan Wolfowitz, and you are watching the BBC's nine o'clock news,'' she announced in the BBC's standard Recieved Pronounciation.
''Foreign News. On the twenty-ninth of April, Midlonian soldiers swarmed the streets of New Sodom, Kahanistan, in an attempt to wrest control of the country following an extremely anti-Catholic television show called For the Children! that aired for the first time the very same day. Featuring extreme defamation of the Catholic Church, and considering its depictions of Jesus as a child molester and pedophile, other Christian denominations, the show had provoked international outrage even before it aired.''
''Heavy fighting occurred between Kahanistan and Midlonian troops, and several attack helicopters and armoured vehicles were seen, reports our sources in New Sodom. Unconfirmed reports say that Midlonian soldiers stormed the building that housed the television show, and are holding several hostages. Some sources indicate that the presidential palace in the capital city of Metzuda has also been attacked and is under siege.
It is as of yet unknown if any Blackwood citizen has been hurt in the on-going violence.''
''International reaction to the events has not been positive, with the Prime Minister of Praetonia, Sir Tiberius Polax, calling it 'a shocking debasement of democracy'. Calling for the withdrawal of Midlonian troops, the Prime Minister asked the Midlonian troops to 'allow the elected government of Kahanistan to resume its lawful rule'.''
''Our own government has expressed dissatisfaction with the event, and Minister of Foreign Affairs Jean Robertson announced that the cabinet and parliament 'hope and expect Midlonia to cease this attempted coup d’État, and restore the elected government to its rightful position ruling the Free Havenic Republic'. The minister also affirmed that while Blackwood does not in any way support the claims or views expressed on the controversial television show, it supports the freedom to express them. Minister Robertson also promised that the she and the rest of the foreign department would do all they could to contact all Blackwood citizens currently staying in Kahanistan.''
''I am Susan Wolfowitz, and this was the foreign news. Over to the weather, shall we, James?''
''Indeed we shall, Susan,'' the man said. Turning to the viewers he began Thursday's weather forecast. A rainstorm had been forming at sea for a while now, and while it just a few days ago had looked as if it would miss the coast, the dreaded and eternally cursed north-western winds had turned it right towards Blackwood. Once it had passed County Blackwood, Eryri and The Highlands would trap in the Lowlands, where it would probably rain for the next few days. Thunderstorms were expected over The Highlands and Cymru, and Kernow did not fair any better. As usual.

TV Station

“Bloody well tell me about it love.” muttered the Sergeant with a shrug. “Somebody’s pulling the strings here, it damn well aint our C.O. So, do we wake him or leave sleeping Beauty to his slumber?”

Streets

The Landrover growled and then roared as it bounced slightly along the streets. The driver, a young Bircherese man chewed on some leaves, his badge denoting him as part of the Greater Kingdoms Supremacy Movement, denoted by a Black dove-like bird on a Blue background. “Take pictures if you want. The world should know of the power and wrath of the Greater Kingdoms.” He smiled before turning the vehicle violently through the still panicking street-traffic.

Presidential Palace

“Well, what do we have?” Sighed the Lieutenant, a man called Christianson, who was bleeding slightly from the eyebrow and cheek.

“Right now? A Seige, most of the NCO’s are worried about sending in their men at the minute, and the flyboys aren’t available for a rooftop assault.” Shrugged the other Lieutenant.

“Right. We sit it out then.” he shrugged.

TV Station

“Bloody well tell me about it love.” muttered the Sergeant with a shrug. “Somebody’s pulling the strings here, it damn well aint our C.O. So, do we wake him or leave sleeping Beauty to his slumber?”


"I'd wake him and return him to the Praetonians," Mrs. Smith said with a shurg, "You know as well as I do that they don't like you and are probably up in arms about this."

Imperial Foreign Ministry
"Hm." a man at a computer said, reading an intelligence report on his computer. The Imperial Foreign Ministry building was a little overcrowded at this point, and some of the minor officials who received minor intelligence reports had to share offices.

"It seems that the Midlonians are handing the Kahanistani their ass."

"Oh?" the man he shared an office with said.

"Yeah. The Kahanistani forgot to tell the Midlonians they were declaring independence, stupidly enough, so when they got a little uppity, the Midlonians went in to kick some ass." the first man said, clicking through his computer.

"Aren't we supposed to defend them?"

"In my opinion, they're fairly well irrelevant to our foreign policy now. After all, we sent Randi and Zoidberg down to Midlonia for the talks."

"Zoidberg is such a strange..thing. Was it such a smart idea to send him with Randi?"

"Dunno, mate. I'm sending this report up the ladder with a recommendation to do nothing about it if the Kahanistanis ask us for help." the first man said, typing up a note.

"Alright, I'm heading off to lunch break." the second man said, grabbed his jacket, and left the office.

SITUATION IN KAHANISTAN
CLASSIFICATION CODE: BLUE
Find attached IIR52129 report detailing Kstan situation. Recommendation: Do nothing to endanger reconciliation talks with Midlonia.

The fire seemed to have stopped at the Presidential Palace.

The Midlonians would hear through one of the loudspeakers attached to the palace a female, Israeli-accented voice.

"This is Lieutenant Colonel Mara Fulton, the commander of the Presidential Security Detachment. What is the reason for the Midlonian attack on our palace?"

She had been used to knowing what her enemies wanted; Kraven had wanted land and had been angered by resistance to their expansionism, AMF had wanted to defend Kraven's sovereignty, Doomingsland had wanted to take lands that their religion, or more accurately, their interpretation of their religion, had granted them.

Fulton had, of course, heard about For the Children! though she had not watched it. It had never crossed her mind that the Midlonians would react so violently to an offensive show.

[OOC: Please, in future post IC communications rather than using the TG system.]

Sir,

His Majesty's Government is becoming increasingly concerned with the present state of affairs in your country with regards the Midlonia military coup that is ongoing.

Your indication that you may request help from the Crown Commonwealth has been noted, and at this time I can extend my personal assurances that the appropriate military force will be brought to bear against Midlonia to ensure the continuation of a sovereign Kahanistani Havenic Territory should it be requested by your government.

Furthermore, it has become readily apparent that, regardless of the outcome of this specific situation, Midlonia is an untrustworthy ally and caretaker of the Kahanistani state. His Majesty is willing to extend an invitation to Kahanistan to gain membership of a group of nations under Praetonian protection, known as the Royal Georgian League.

The advantages of this organisation are many-fold, and include privelaged access to a free market area containing more than 9 billion people. Furthermore, and more importantly, the Royal Georgian League extends to its members the full protection of the Crown, and its constitution and aims are rooted firmly in ensuring the liberty and prosperity of its members.

It would not remove from Kahanistan any part of its sovereignty, and Kahanistan would be free to leave at any time. Furthermore, there would be no obligation for Kahanistan to allow Praetonian or League armies onto Kahanistani soil - any military presense as may exist would be present only at the explicit invitation of the Kahanistani government. Furthermore, although it is often appreciated for members to contribute towards the cost of their defence, no charge or tax is levied or expected for protection.

It is the belief of His Majesty's Government that Kahanistan will always remain at risk from invasion and its government from usurpation for so long as the sovereignty of Kahanistan is not backed by a strong power, possessed of arms and the will to use them, as well as a commitment to the liberty and sovereignty of the Kahanistani government - this last quality being that which the Midlonians evidently lack.

I beg you to accept this proposal, for the good of both our states. I also remind you that, whatever your decision, the Praetonian fleet, and Praetonian ground troops across the border in Northford, stand poised to defend the liberty of the Kahanistani nation with their lives at your request.

God Save the King.

Yours Faithfully,

The Rt. Hon. Sir Tiberius Polax, MP
Prime Minister

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Office of the Vice President

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

I understand your position. However, your support of Doomingsland in its war with Automagfreek has alienated many members of our Senate, on both the left wing, which opposes the Holy Empire on ideological grounds, and the right wing, which is falling to a debilitating wave of anti-Catholic sentiment. Even those who are not anti-Catholic oppose Doomingsland for its human rights abuses and fanaticism.

I feel that the Senate is highly unlikely to consider joining the Royal Georgian League at this time. We can work as partners to repel the Midlonian aggression, but I do not expect relations to drastically warm afterwards.

Signed,

Margaret K. Delray,
Vice President of Kahanistan

“Sergeant”
“Sah?”
“Shoot out the speakers.”
“Sah.”

Gunfire once again erupted around the presidential palace as speakers were shot out.
-------------------

General Pimsy Demontfort was a noble. There was no way around it. He carried himself like a noble, he spoke like a noble, even his name was silly…. Like a noble.

“You know, something is striking me as odd. The Khanistanian state should be paralized, yet somehow they’re still issuing orders, moving around and doing things. Absolutely bloody daft. Hit the Foreign office with a strike-team, I’m getting sick of them acting like they’re still a functioning nation.” he twitched his moustache and peered at a chart on the table set in the canvas tent. A truck growled outside as a generator putted into life. The small outpost had been hastily set up near to the Presidential Palace as gunfire opened up again to stop the messages being broadcast.

----------------

A further flight of helicopters flew over the rooftops of the cityscape, the reinforcements had been hastily changed to a mission unit to shut down the Foreign Office and stop all transmissions from it, now they were being just as hastily briefed on the building layout and what to expect in terms of resistence.

Presidential Palace

"Guess they aren't interested in talking, Colonel." Captain Moses Caldwell locked and loaded his Hali-42.

"Really?" snapped Colonel Fulton. She made a phone call to the nearest military base on her cell phone. Within minutes, all ten of Kahanistan's Naram-Sin (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8604139&postcount=39) strategic bombers were in the air, with full loads. The Midlonians had refused discussion, and the gloves had to come off.

Attack helicopters and VTOL fighters also took off from bases all over Kahanistan. Having learned from the Doomani conflict, they would not yield control of the skies to the enemy.

---

Foreign Ministry

The Minister of Foreign Affairs had gone to Hataria, and the Deputy Minister had taken the day off. The Foreign Ministry was now little more than an office building with heavy security. Tanks had been called in to engage the Midlonian military forces.

The 105mm ETC tank guns of the Spartacus MBT could carry more ammunition than larger tank guns, and had a faster rate of fire. However, they were more limited in the kinds of ammunition that they could fire.

---

Continuation of Government Facility, Classified Location

Dr. Margaret Delray, Vice President of Kahanistan, formally requested military assistance from the Praetonian and Whyatican governments. They had already alienated the Questarians, so did not request their assistance.

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Office of the Vice President
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

The Government of Kahanistan formally requests military assistance from the Grand Imperium of Whyatica and the Crown Commonwealth of Praetonia, to repel Midlonian military aggression against our nation.

Signed,
Margaret K. Delray,
Vice President of Kahanistan

-Lone Alliance News-
This is a LAN update. Until further notice all travel to Kahanistan has been suspended until the situation caused by the fallout of Kahanistan's "For the Children" show resolves itself. We repeat all Lone Alliance travel to Kahanistan has been suspended until further notice.

A package arrives for Senator Nikolatos by international mail, provided anything can actually get through to Kahanistan with the Midlonian crackdown. A highly similar package arrives for Mrs. Lipshitz as well. Its contents are two Bibles. One is the traditional or Pauline version; the other is the reactionary or Reichite/Doomani version. Relevant passages in both are highlighted to point out the differences, and the margin notes are in a supremely educated hand, pointing out the slight -- but noticeable -- changes that turned Jesus Christ from a carpenter's son and teacher to a warrior advocating ideas such as "Love thy enemies, by terminating their sinful existences before God becomes really mad at them."

Accompanying the two Bibles is a note in perfect Church Latin, consisting of three words written in the same scholarly hand.

Futue te ipsum.

There is no return address or signature.

The Grand Imperium of Whyatica

No.

With good news coming in from Hataria that Questers had reversed its position on blocking civilian aid shipments to the Hatarians, Kahanistan's attitude to Questers warmed again sufficiently that they would ask for Questarian military assistance.

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Office of the Vice President
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

The Government of Kahanistan formally requests military assistance from the Crown Imperium of Questers to assist in preserving the sovereignty of our nation.

Signed,
Margaret K. Delray,
Vice President of Kahanistan

The Monotheistic Republic
'We Stand Alone!'
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/HeavensKnights/JagiteSeal.gif

While it may seem both surprisingly and rather unusual for the Monotheistic Republic to say this, but Kahanistan is our ally, and one of our oldest ones, standing beside us against the Kraven Corporation, when most others assisted in our extermination. As such, we have a debt of honor to repay Kahanistan, despite our idealogical differences. Kahanistan, while not the most morally upright nation, is still an ally and we cannot watch as its soverignty is stolen from it.

That is why we demand that Midlonia stop this senseless action and immediately withdrawl from Kahanistan. The Monotheistic Republic is even willing to pay for the cost of transportation and redeployment of your forces in Kahanistan to avoid anymore conflict. Though, do note, that should you refuse and continue down this path -- then Jagada will seek more militant ways to display out dissatification with your policy in Kahanistan.

- High Minister Ronin Matsumoto

The Defense Ministry, eyeing with concern the events unfolding at the Foreign Ministry and Presidential Palace, declared a state of national emergency.

Most generals, senators, ministers, and others who had so far avoided the roundups went to the Continuation of Government facilities to preserve their functions, and armor began to roll through the streets of Metzuda, along with heavy artillery and anti-aircraft guns.

Fighters and bombers scrambled from numerous army bases flew dangerously over the capital, so far ordered not to fire on the Midlonians, but if fired upon the result could be catastrophic.

---

Continuation of Government Facility

Vice President Margaret Delray turned to a military officer in her office. "How do the Midlonians know of the request we made to the Praetonians, or their request for us to join their alliance?" It went without saying that such transmissions were to be held in the highest secrecy.

"Maybe we have a spy," said the Major. "But we don't have any Midlonians in our intelligence service that we would have allowed access to this information. I think it's more likely that one of the peons in Communication forgot to encrypt the message, or sent it on an unsecured channel."

"Fuck! You mean to tell me that someone in Communications was so stupid that they didn't know that the message was supposed to be secret? Have them sacked before they tell the Midlonians our nuclear protocol."

[OOC: He doesn't need a spy. Your reply was labelled an "Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan", so he is perfectly entitled to claim it was public.]

[OOC: I'm blaming the public stamping and transmission over insecure channels ICly on some drone in the communications department, rather than on the VP.]
IC:

Presidential Palace

Colonel Fulton and President al-Omari walked down the corridors. "What do you think the Midlonians want with us?" asked the Colonel. "They can't be cross with us for leaving their sphere of influence, can they?"

"Unlikely," said the President. "It would go against the very nature of a protecting power. They knew that this would happen at some point, probably just expected it to be on their terms. I still don't see a justification for military intervention... let's just hope this doesn't start a war. I heard the Defense Ministry managed production rights to a lot of Kriegzimmer gear, in case the sea is blockaded and we have to make our own arms. Apparently they're expecting it to escalate."

"Or that lunatic Malakov wants to escalate it... he is a Nationalist after all," replied Fulton. "Anyway, I've still got to figure out how you're getting out of here. The tunnel is still only 85% complete. It'll be weeks before it's finished. I hope that the military base it'll lead to finishes the drilling, but I've got to work something out in case it doesn't."

"What about smuggling me out in a burqa? I think a few office workers here still wear them."

"I don't know the Midlonians are letting anyone out at all. They might shoot you, or arrest you." Fulton's face hardened. She had lost the last President, to whom she had grown close, and 1,200 people had been extradited to Doomingsland under her watch. She would not let that happen again.

"I could disguise you, and when the Midlonians hit the palace, they could miss you or think you were an office worker, or I could even dress you as a guard, but that would likely get you killed. I think that hiding in the escape tunnel is a good idea. Worst case, the Midlonians raid the palace, take a lot of casualties, and come out empty handed. Best case, you end up on a flight to Allanea, or Van Luxemburg."

Al-Omari nodded. He grabbed a bag of MRE's and a couple of gallon jugs of water, and headed for the escape tunnel, protected by a secret passage. It would be a dead end until the tunnel was completed within the next few weeks, but al-Omari hoped to survive there until it was either completed or the Midlonians withdrew.